I finally met the guy that was making all those drawings I kept seeing in almost every single

class. This was after I went to my favorite teacher’s room and seeing him draw stuff with
marker on the board. I can’t remember if I thought he was weird or annoying, not really
enough to get an impression, although I drew an unamused looking face on the board and
drew an unamused face that looked better than mine after he saw mine and I thought that was
kind of a dick move, but ignored it.

Second time, I saw him in the lab and started to doodle on the board, we talked a little, don’t
really recall anything. No real thoughts, just thought he didn’t really care/thought I was
strange.

Third time, I saw him at some meeting for the top students and thought “Okay, so he’s
smart.” I think I just waved bye to him, but after that I thought he was okay, but didn’t really
get to talk to him since we didn’t have any classes.

First real meeting with names and everything went like this: A club president/friend of mine
had asked me to draw caricatures for a fair event we were having so her club could raise
money. I had my own club to deal with, but other members were gonna handle that and I
thought “Why the hell not?” Then I found out like a day before that she’d hired that one guy
to also do caricatures, and felt really stupid because he already drew posters and shirt designs
and crap whereas I just doodled on occasion and I felt like I’d just be pushed aside while he’d
get hundreds of requests, and I’d feel inadequate and retarded. I never really talked to him
about drawing/whatever, but for whatever reason I thought he’d be bigheaded about it and
rub it in. Then my best friend came to the table where we were at the next day and said she
knew him from her class and that he was cool. Then we all had a surprisingly fun time and I
realized he was really cool and funny and we had the same sense of humor, which is really
hard to find for both of us since me and my small circle of friends are dorky internet nerds.

Then I proceeded to fall for the dude. .____.

First Impression Story Contest
I was seventeen and a starry eyed poetry major in college when I went to the English
Department lounge to hear a well-known author read from his latest novel. When I first saw
him he was standing at the front of the room surrounded by students. He was leaning towards
the circle of kids. He was really looking at them and engaged with them. I was immediately
impressed. He was this big author but wasn’t hiding back stage or going over his notes and he
really seemed happy to be there with us. During his speech he didn’t just make eye contact he
lingered on our faces as if he wanted to remember every feature. He said he would be happy
to talk with us and look at our work after his speech. I waited for my turn and he sat with me
on a sofa and took the time to read two of my poems and give me feedback and as we talked
again I was so impressed with how connected his voice got light and high like mine. He even
seemed to be breathing with me. His first impression has stayed with me and I have held his
behavior as a model for how to be and stay connected. Oh by the way, if you read his novels,
John Irving’s characters struggle to be connected and his description of their body language is
extraordinary. I think he truly does remember every feature on every face of every person he
has ever met.

Do you have a First Impression story?

Can you take a moment to send me a one or two paragraph story from your life that could
possibly be in my new book? If you have time I would love them by Friday, December
16th. It doesn't need to be in fancy language, just a story from experience. I am specifically
looking for nonverbal cues that effected your perception, such as specific facial expressions,
or stance or gestures.

Have you ever met someone you immediately liked? Perhaps there was something about
their body language, eye contact, facial expression, gestures, touch, voice or presence that
made you like them immediately or something made you think, I don’t like them or I don’t
trust them or perhaps you remember a time when you made a good or bad impression on
someone. If you formed an impression and you were not face to face with the person say ,
over the phone or through the email or text please give details of the communication that led
to your impression and then what happened in that interaction and if you had other
interactions what happened.

I have written two stories for examples and one a Judge

from my Deception Detection program sent me
Example 1

Years ago I worked at a big firm. The first time I met the president he hurried through the
greeting, shook my hand, gave me a plastic grin, didn’t’ make eye contact and said, “How ya’
feeling?” He then walked away before I got my answer out. I thought what a big ego. For all
the years I worked for the firm he would see people in the halls, give a big plastic smile, greet
them and say, “How Ya’ feeling?’ and quickly move on. Even if he saw you three times in
one day, he would repeat the same fake greeting ritual. In all those years of smiling and
saying, “How ya’ feeling?” he never once stopped to hear my answer. My first impression
was correct.

Example 2

There are some people that have a good first impression at the beginning of every interaction.
As a PHD student, I would walk into the Dean of the Communication Department's office to
meet with Dean Clevenger sure of the impression he would give. I knew he would smile, get
up from his desk in a good mood and walk around to shake my hand truly glad to see me. I
knew even though he was a busy man, he would always take his time and have me sit down. I
never felt rushed, instead I felt absolutely relaxed, as if he had all the time in the world and I
was an important person. He would look at me and lean forward and actively listen to what I
had to say. He was open. His face never scrunched up or frowned with hints of displeasure or
judgment. He gave direction and advice that I could count on. Dean Clevenger had immense
credibility.

Example 3

As a circuit judge, I read first impressions in traffic court. One day in my traffic court I had
someone ticketed for running a stop sign. I tend to access someone immediately if the person
appears 1. Guilty 2. Guilty, but he or she won't tell a bold lie, they feel bad or 3. Innocent. I
looked at the guy and saw that he was nervous, but his chin was not up and cocky like a lot of
the guys I see. He could make eye contact with me, but he then breaks it and looks down. So
I looked at him and my gut said, this guy is a 2 - Guilty but willing to learn a lesson. Sure
enough, during testimony he said, "I don't FEEL I ran the stop sign." I interpreted his
nonverbal vocal emphasis on the word FEEL to mean he knew he might have run the stop
sign.

So I had him take a video camera and tape 10 to 15 cars going through that intersection with
the stop sign then come back to court. He came back in after viewing the video and my first
impression that day in court was he was contrite. He looked down, his mouth was turned
down, his arms were down and he held his one hand folded in the other below his waist. In a
soft voice, filled with a mixture of wonder at the facts and embarrassment at his mistake he
said, “I watched those other cars run that stop sign and I realized I had run it too." I feel it is
my job not to merely punish people but ultimately to make them better citizens in the future.
In his case, I was glad he learned something and admitted his guilt and I let him off with a
warning.