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Documente Cultură
Outline:
Emotions Matter
References
What is an Emotion?
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Yale Center of Emotional Intelligence Definition of EQ: RULER
RULER Skills
Basic Emotions
RULER Tools for Anchoring Emotional Intelligence
The Four Domains of EQ
Tips to Develop Each Domain.
Helpful Forms.
Emotions Matter
Emotions drive learning, decision-making, creativity, relationships, and health.
The Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence uses the power of emotions to create a
more effective and compassionate society. The Center conducts research and
teaches people of all ages how to develop their emotional intelligence.
References
Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence 2.0 Book -
Emotional Intelligence – Daniel Goleman
Primal Leadership – Daniel Goleman
At The Heart of Leadership Book – Joshua Freedman
What is an Emotion?
"An emotion is a complex psychological state that involves three distinct
components: a subjective experience, a physiological response, and a behavioral
or expressive response." (Hockenbury & Hockenbury, 2007)
Emotion is often the driving force behind motivation, positive or negative. (Energy
in Motion)
1. Emotions are triggered by real or imaginary stimuli
2. Emotions cause shifts in subjective experiences (thinking & feeling) (and
what that means is that each emotion has different thought pattern
associated with it)
3. Emotions lead to changes in physiology (heart rate, temperature, brain
chemicals)
4. Emotions produce shifts in our facial expressions, body postures, gestures
and vocal tones
5. Emotions motivate behavior (approach, fight, flight)
In few studies as well it has been agreed that there are two basic driving human
energies, from which all positive and negative emotions stem, and these are:
LOVE & FEAR.
Latest researches though, many of these, agree that there are four basic
emotions: Glad, Sad, Mad, Afraid (Scared).
The RULER Tools for Anchoring Emotional Intelligence
1. Emotional Literacy Charter
The Charter is the first RULER Anchor tool. It is designed to build a positive culture
and atmosphere.
Unlike “rules” of conduct or rules and regulations of a company, an Emotional
Intelligence Charter represents agreed-upon norms for how everyone will be
treated, including (1) how leaders, team leaders, and teammates want to feel at
work,
(2) what everyone needs to do to feel that way consistently, and
(3) guidelines for how to handle uncomfortable feelings.
The process of creating a Charter involves responding to three questions:
1. How do we want to feel in school each day?
Each team member lists the 5-10 feelings he or she wants to experience
each day at work. Then, as a group, the lists are combined to form a list of
5-8 feelings that represent what feelings are most important to the group.
2. What will we do to have these feelings consistently and create a positive
learning environment?
Everyone is asked to think about what these feelings will look like in school
in terms of specific, measurable, observable behaviors. In other words,
what will the group need to do each day to ensure everyone experiences
these feelings?
3. How will we prevent and manage conflict and unwanted feelings?
The group first discusses
(1) the uncomfortable feelings and unwanted behaviors they would like to
avoid experiencing in school and then
(2) how these feelings and behaviors will be handled and how conflict will
be prevented and managed, including what happens when the Charter is
breached.
Once all three questions are answered, the Charter is written or typed up, signed
by everyone in the group, and posted somewhere visible so it can be referred to
and revisited for amendments as needed.
2. Mood Meter
Once the Mood Meter can be used as a guide through the RULER skills, by asking
yourself:
o Recognize: What are you feeling? How pleasant? How much energy do you
have? Where would you plot yourself?
o Regulate: Is where you are on the Mood Meter the place you want to be? If so,
what strategies will you use to stay there? If you would like to shift, what
strategies will you use?
3. Meta-Moment
Meta-Moment is the moment where we pause, the moment right after…
It has six steps:
1. Something happens! Triggers are something real or imagined that result in
emotions based on our appraisals (how we perceive the trigger). The most
common trigger emotions are anger and anxiety.
2. Sense. When triggered, shifts occur in cognitive responses (thoughts),
physiological responses (body) and behavioral responses (facial expressions, body
language, vocal intonations, and actions).
3. Stop. It is important to stop and to breathe to decrease our physiological
response and to gain control over our reactions. Practice taking three deep
breaths through the nose and using a mantra.
4. See Your Best Self. Channeling the best self is a unique and critical step of the
Meta- Moment. The best self often differs depending on the role (leader vs.
supervisor vs. colleague).
The three components of the best self are one’s ideal (1) self (how you want to be
based on your values), (2) reputation (how you want others to view you), and (3)
outcome (how you would like the situation to turn out).
Ask: what are the characteristics of your best self in your role (form a list of 5-10
adjectives)? What do those characteristics look like (in terms of behaviors)?
5. Strategize. Once we’ve activated our best self, we need to choose a strategy
that aligns. Positive reappraisal and self-talk are two helpful strategies.
6. Succeed! The last step of the Meta-Moment is the successful execution of your
strategy and the aligning of your behavior (the way you respond to the trigger)
with your values and best self.
Discuss pro-active (before an anticipated trigger) vs. responsive (after a trigger)
Meta- Moments.
4. Blue-Print
• Blueprint is the fourth and final Anchor of RULER. It is a problem-solving tool
designed to build empathy and to aid in perspective- taking, it is for past
conflicts, real-time interactions and upcoming difficulties.
o Recognize and Label: How did I feel? How did the other person feel?
o Express and Regulate: How did I express and regulate my feelings? How
did the other person express and regulate his or her feelings?
• After the first three sets of questions above have been answered, the process
concludes with the group reflecting and planning based on the following
questions:
Self-Awareness Strategies:
1. Quit treating your feelings as good or bad
2. Observe the ripple effect from your emotions
3. Lean into your discomfort
4. Feel your emotions physically
5. Know who and what pushes your buttons
6. Watch yourself like a hawk…
7. Keep a journal about your emotions
8. Don’t be fooled by a bad mood
9. Don’t be fooled by a good mood, either
10. Stop and ask yourself why you do the things that you do
11. Visit your values
12. Check yourself
13. Spot your emotions in books, movies, music
14. Seek feedback
15. Get to know yourself under stress
Self-Management Strategies:
1. Breathe right
2. Create an emotion vs. a reason list
3. Make your goals public
4. Count to ten
5. Sleep on it
6. Talk to a skilled self-manager
7. Smile and laugh more
8. Set aside some time in your day for problem solving
9. Take control of your self talk
10. Visualize yourself succeeding
11. Clean up your sleep hygiene
12. Focus your attention on your freedoms, rather than your limitations
13. Stay synchronized
14. Speak to someone who is not emotionally invested in your problem
15. Learn a valuable lesson from everyone you encounter
16. Put a mental recharge into your schedule
17. Accept that change is just around the corner
Social-Awareness Strategies:
1. Greet people by name
2. Watch body language
3. Make timing everything
4. Develop a back-pocket question
5. Don’t take notes at meetings
6. Plan ahead for social gatherings
7. Clear away the clutter
8. Live in the moment
9. Go on a 15 minute tour
10. Watch EI at the movies
11. Practice the Art of Listening
12. Go people watching
13. Understand the rules of the Culture Game
14. Test for accuracy
15. Step into their shoes
16. Seek the whole picture
17. Catch the mood of the room
How I Feel
Provided by TherapistAid.com © 2013
Alternate Response
I feel: __________________________________________
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Consequence
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Thought Log