FILM FEEDBACK FORM

MODULE TITLE: FLM2028

STUDENTS NAMES AND NUMBERS: Personal Best

Anna McKinney
Kelly Draper
Savannah Romein

1st 2.1 2.2 3rd Fail

Overall story ✓
concept and fit

Cinematography ✓

Sound ✓

Editing ✓

First Marker Comments:

• Very satisfying to see how well you responded to the feedback in class. You have ended up with
a strong film.
• There is a clear 3 act structure here. The setup and confrontation is well identified. What I think
could be developed is the resolution. However for a first time documentary this is great storytelling
and you have identified a strong subject.
• Beautifully shot and I appreciate the creative use of sound.
• It is great to have silences in a film, you give us and the character space.
• What I think could have worked was returning to the race, through sound or image, something
that could finish the film neatly. I am left asking some questions. The final line just about works
but it could be better.
• At times it feels too descriptive. I think as directors you could have pushed the subject more with
the questions and/or looked at other aspects of her life than simply the running.
• Clear implementation of the technical exercises from the semester.

Second Marker Comments:

Strong interview about training for running, with good sound and camerawork. A little flat, with
more probing insight to her mental and emotional state would offer more depth.

External Examiner Comments (where appropriate):

GRADE:

First Marker: 68 Second Marker: 68 External Examiner:

PENALTIES:
 Lateness Over/Under Length: Presentation:

(5% p/day): (Conceptual point) (5%)

FINAL MARK:

WRITTEN WORK FEEDBACK FORM

MODULE TITLE/CODE: FLM2028

STUDENT NAME: Draper, Kelly

STUDENT NUMBER: 40202345

LECTURER : Ross McClean

1st 2.i 2.ii 3rd/Pass Fail

Quality and range of ideas ✓

Use of supporting material ✓

Argument and structure ✓

Presentation including spelling ✓

and grammar

Bibliography and referencing ✓

First Marker Comments:

• Clear reference to technical elements explored in first semester

• Well identified issues and resolutions during production
• Wide and relevant use of learning material
• Careful with certain arguments, occasionally requires further development.
• References occasionally lack critical analysis throughout essay
• Strong introduction but the lack of conclusion undermines the essay

Second Marker Comments (where appropriate):

Solid essay with strong introduction, but weakens towards the end, e.g. what lessons learned and
insights gained.

External Examiner Comments (where appropriate):

GRADE:

First Marker: 65 Second Marker: ___65___ External Examiner: ____

PENALTIES: Lateness: ________ Over/Under length: _____ (5% per day)

FINAL MARK: ________ (Conceptual Mark)

Reflective Essay

Throughout this reflective essay I will be discussing the overall research, production

processes and reflections on the making of our film Personal Best.1 The narrative revolves

around the 19-year-old athlete, Aine McKinney, whom is diagnosed with Chronic

Compartment Syndrome, and follows her physical and mental recovery process.

Research and Idea

After researching ideas around the proposed theme of ‘margins’; known as an edge, border

or a degree of by which something is won, we brainstormed a range of ideas that were relevant

to current societal issues. Primarily, our focus was to tell a simplistic, clear narrative that would

hopefully tell an influential story. Aine’s positive outlook on her unfortunate situation

convinced us that this was a story and perspective worth sharing, with the goal to further inspire

an audience. We interviewed her for long periods of time and watched archival footage to get

a firm grasp of her story and thus decide upon a route and direction for the story to be told

visually and structurally.

Deciding upon the narrative to surround Aine’s marginalisation within her hobby helped

us begin the stylistic process. We focused on a more observational style of documentary

filmmaking, opposed to a more poetic, participatory or performative style of documentary.2

Also, we were further inspired by Silent Sam3 and its polished cinematography, helping us focus

on the quality of our shots, in comparison to quantity. Location scouting around Mary Peters

tracks, Aine’s training area, helped us visualise sequences, thus we experimented shots and

created a practice running montage. Albeit, the montage not being included in the final film,

this enabled us to realise the story is best told without music to manipulate the emotions of the

film, thus letting the visual and interview dialogue drive it.

The concept of redirection, which revolves around the idea of ‘our need for margin,’4 and

the idea that redirection still beats regress and the abandonment of progress, became a strong

focal point. For instance, Aine’s positive thought process towards her injury helped her redirect

her goals from being the best to doing her best, which became the backbone to our structure.

Researching the ice baths, dry needling and exercise routines Aine underwent, helped us

to create an overall structure of sequences. We showed this within the documentary enabling

our audience to emphathise with the long process Aine must deal with. We watched multiple

short films to understand the pace and structure of a short documentary, helping us to decide to

let shots breathe, thus enabling the audience to feel more intimate with the protagonist.

Production and Post-Production

Due to the genre being documentary, we knew we could not plan storyboards and structures

precisely, thus we began shooting early, beginning a four-week shooting process. Applying the

three-act structure to our narrative, we decided to begin interviewing Aine, to grab sound bites

on the H4N. Even though ‘light strives to push the form of nonfiction filmmaking by finding

new ways to communicate emotions,’5 we decided to use three-point lighting in this first

interview, discarding the lighting equipment for the rest of the documentary, in order to take a
more sincere approach. Shooting solely on the Canon GH5, switching between the 14mm,

35mm and 85mm throughout, helped us maintain a similar aesthetic feel to each shot. This

helped us in post-production as we felt they visually synchronised neatly, hence did not need

manipulating through colour grading.

Throughout the edit in post-production, using Premiere Pro, we arranged our sequences

different atmospheres. Primarily we used ambience, in comparison to music, to create an a more

sincere and authentic atmosphere. Even though ‘light strives to push the form of nonfiction

filmmaking by finding new ways to communicate emotions,’6 we decided to only use light.

The decision to use Aine’s quote: ‘it’s not about being the best, it’s about doing your best’ to

end the film was due to it summarising the overall messages and values of the documentary.

Overall, the pacing of the film ‘can be controlled from shot to shot, scene to scene,’7 thus the

artistic decision to use minimal shots to tell the story let us create a smooth pace throughout

each sequence. Lastly, we incorporated Justin Wells’ idea that reflection is important to the

understanding of documentary,8 hence we focused on Aine’s reflection in the third act of the

narrative structure. Following Grierson’s philosophy, that ‘stories taken from the raw can be

finer,’9 we decided to finish the film on a raw, close-up in order to let the audience have the

more intimate, natural moment with the protagonist, Aine.

Reflections on the film and its processes

Modern documentaries are known to deliberately distort reality through ‘patterns of light and

dark, the hypnotic sound of repetitive music’,10 and other filmic techniques. Thus, contrasting

to this, our overall sincere, raw, stylistic approach helped us maintain an authentic, more

realistic way of telling Aine’s story. This more realistic approach hopefully enabled the

audience to become further aligned with her due to being able to emphasise with her easier,
 reducing any forms of manipulation; therefore driving the audience’s emotions through Aine’s

narrative storytelling and the pure visual.

The planning of the film could have been more organised, for example, testing our film

equipment before shooting, therefore avoiding sound issues. Furthermore, if we had planned

the pre-production further in advance, we would have secured the physiotherapist scene which

would have changed the tone of the documentary. However, these complications helped us to

get a greater understanding of the challenges of the documentary filmmaking process and

enabled us to learn and build our skillsets.

Filmography

• Draper, Kelly, McKinney, Anna, Romein, Savannah, Personal Best (2019, 5mn)

• Neal-Roberts, Brock & Laura Northover, Silent Sam (2018, 21mn)

Bibliography

• Aufderheide, Patricia, Documentary Film: A Very Short Introduction (Oxford University Press,

2007)

• Barbash, Ilisa, Taylor, Lucien, Cross-cultural Filmmaking, A Handbook for Making

Documentary and Ethnographic Films and Videos (University of California Press, 1997)

• Barsam, Richard, Nonfiction Film Theory and Criticism (Clarke, 1976)

• Nichols, Bill, Introduction to Documentary (Indiana: Indiana University Press, 2002)

• Stubbs, Liz, Documentary Filmmakers Speak (New York: Allworth Press, 2002)

• Swenson, Richard, Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to

Overloaded Lives (Tyndale House, 2014)

• Wells, Justin, How to Film Truth: The Story of Documentary Film as a Spiritual Journey

(Oregon: Cascade Books, 2018)