Up the Hill Anabalón 1

Up the hill

Miguel Alberto Anabalón Torres

Universidad Mayor.
Up the Hill Anabalón 2

Up the hill

Some lessons are learned through the pain, and going up the hill for dozens of miles

can be an excruciating experience. June the fifth is a very special date for me. It is my

birthday. Nevertheless, I did not enjoy them very much back then at 2015. I was getting

prepared for my law grade exam, and I had already failed it once. Months of studying were

taking a toll on me. That morning only me and my grandpa remained at home. I did not

remind him my birthday. My Grandpa gets sad when it is someone else’s birthday, and he

did not manage to get a present to give. Despite the appealing calmness feeling self-pity could

provide, staying at home seemed to me a very disappointing plan. Instead, I decided to take

my old bike and begin a trip to Farellones. The weather was cold so I put on my equipment.

It was Friday, the roads were lonely and peaceful. I did not encounter many riders. Most part

of the journey I was on my own. The only sound that reminded me of my existence was my

heart beating like a drum on my ears. After a couple miles, my legs started to hurt and I found

myself panting like a dog in the middle of nowhere. ‘Why on earth I am doing this?’ I asked

myself. That journey meant a lot to me, because I consider it the point of inflection of my

career as a university student. It took me a lot of time to realize that the grade exam was just

a stone on the road we call life. Therefore, this is far from the end of it. I started to notice that

the way we follow our paths change according to our beliefs. To summarize the experience,

I discovered three things about myself. First, if we believe something is the end of road, we

will tend to make poor choices based on wrong assumptions. Second, we can accomplish

achievements starting from little changes in our daily. And third, if we expect too much from

the development of our goals, failure hurts a lot more and sticks longer with you.
Up the Hill Anabalón 3

Now, I am taking a look at it, reflecting on the motivations which lead me to my

current path. I did that journey because I wanted to prove myself; I did it because I could. It

took me three hours, and a lot of stops and pauses, to get to my destination. From the moment

I left home to the end of my journey, a pleasant calmness started to grow inside of me. I felt

satisfied. Although I was alone, no trace of sadness stained that moment. I gave a look at the

things which were worrying me, and they seemed smaller. They were still there, but their

presence did not haunt me back. When you start to take a glimpse to the big picture our life

is, it feels like scratching the surface of a tranquil lake. It does not matter how we much

disturb the surface; it always reflects the sky. Those things which take away our sleep at night

will remain there, we like it or not. We have to learn how live with them. The journey proved

to be the perfect therapy for my social isolation, and my deteriorated mental state caused by

the regimental study routine. The end of this journey did not stop my life; my goals stayed

there. But I realized that I needed to visualize the end of the road and my grade exam as a

goal. If something lies beyond my goals, that does not require me to seclude and private

myself of enjoying life.

As a second statement I pointed out that we can achieve things introducing changes

in our daily lives. I remember when I stopped at a side of the road to walk a little. The

presence of snow made the landscape a beautiful scenery. I enjoy the tranquility of the

wilderness. It looked like tiny bits of meringue decorating a wild green cake. The symphony

of sounds, birds, animals, water, the wind wraps your heart. When you stand in a place like

it, and take your time to let yourself be engulfed, it becomes a breathtaking moment. Taking

a moment to look at your surroundings is always a good change. It provides a pause, and in

many cases a pause leads to enlightenment. After a while, I took some snow and I stored it
Up the Hill Anabalón 4

in my water bottle. I began the return to my home. The feeling of the wind touching my

cheeks and hand made me feel alive. The first thing I did when I got back home was to pick

a glass, put some snow in it, and I started to pour some scotch. I thought there was some

romanticism in drinking whiskey with a chunk of ice you picked yourself from the mountain.

The trip itself was a change in my routine. It was a good change, a happy experience, and a

test to my will.

The sounds of the mountain, my bicycle, the water, the birds were fused in perfect

harmony composing a lullaby, a song, a humming, which kept me completely relaxed during

the trip back to Santiago. I knew that the ghost of my grade exam was still around the corner,

but I also felt I accomplished something. Nonetheless I stated as a third aspect, the risks of

having high expectations about the future. During many years I thought things would

smoothly develop according to my aspirations. The problem about this philosophy appears

when things are not turning out as we expect them to be. I failed my grade exam once; the

road was rough. I did not prepare myself to fail, nobody does. But I had to pick up the pieces

left by the disappointment. The journey helped me to collect my ideas. The thing is, I never

expected to build a stronger spirit from a broken will. Since that day I felt wiser and stronger,

I started to pick the important things I should worry about, and let the rest flow away. It is

true what they say about that what does not kill, make stronger, or in my case, wiser. A taste

of life involves not to expect too much of it, neither too little. Just a spot between the two

sides. Later, I failed two more times my grade exam, they hurt too, but not as much as the

first time. I made the right call, or at least, this is what I choose to believe. This was not a

easy choice. I had to face not only my expectations, but also those of my family. Fortunately,

my fathers are understanding people, that is something I admire about them.

Up the Hill Anabalón 5

Every journey is a new chance to face our inner thoughts and polish our ideas, our

beliefs. Life is about the way we choose to live it, not the end of it. When you take a look at

the places you have been, the people you have met, and choices you have made, that is the

moment when you start to realize the way you experience your own life. This essay was very

good opportunity to stare at my long-gone days. From my past mistakes and choices, I had

learnt a few lessons, which I tried to explain in these few paragraphs. Everything turns around

the concept of the journey, as a life changing experience. According to this experience I

reflected upon my thoughts. The first lesson was about how our assumptions can blind us.

When we narrow our judgement, we are incapable of thinking straight. This leads us to make

poor decisions, which may be part of our learning process. Nevertheless, we have to

appreciate things from different angles to understand them. The second lesson was about how

changes can be a good thing. They push us to challenge ourselves, to be prepared for the

unexpected or at least to not panic. When we clash with the unknown is normal to feel

anxious, nervous, or uncomfortable. But changes provide the opportunity to ponder about us

and our lives. The third, and final lesson, was about expectations. Too high expectations may

have a devastating effect in our lives when we do not accomplish them, when we fail. Failure

is part of our lives, but we are not prepared to deal with it, or to expect it. It becomes one of

the hardest things to learn. People teach us how to win, but not how stand up again. It is very

tempting to pity ourselves when we feel down, sad or lonely. It is hard to embrace your flaws

and look beyond them. Many times, is easier to live with shame of failing than dealing with

it. All these three lessons left a mark in me. I think we define ourselves by the way we stand

in front of a challenge. This essay became an adventure through the depths of my memories

and feelings. The outcome was satisfying. I do not regret anything yet, and I hope to not

regret anything in the future. The person I am today is the result of those choices.