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What is Kindness in Psychology? (Incl. Activities + Quotes)

Kori Miller 0 21-05-2019

kindness
How have you shown kindness to someone today? How has someone else
been kind to you?

With the increased acknowledgment that bullying behavior is a widespread

epidemic in workplaces and schools, the need to reclaim our kindness roots is
imperative.

Worldwide efforts to shine a light on kindness have led to the development of

kindness curriculums and days devoted to celebrating kindness and
compassion.

There are countless organizations whose entire mission is to spread kindness.

As you read this article, you’ll learn about several of them. You’ll also learn
about ordinary people doing ordinary things with extraordinary results.

Along the way, we’ll ask you to contribute your knowledge in the comments.
Sharing your book recommendations, and acts of kindness suggestions might
inspire others. Let’s create a ripple that becomes a wave we all can ride.

This article contains:

What is the Meaning of Kindness? (Incl. Definition)

A Look at the Psychology of Kindness
Kindness and Positive Psychology
The Research on Kindness and Mental Health
12 Interesting Facts and Statistics
The Key Characteristics and Attributes of a Kind Person
5 Examples of Kindness in Action
A Look at Kindness as a Character Strength
Is Kindness a Weakness?
Why is Kindness an Important Personality and Character Trait?
The Value of Showing Kindness to Others
Using Kindness in Leadership
Kindness vs Compassion
14 Activities and Worksheets to Promote Kindness (Incl. PDF)
What is Kindness Week?
10 Ted Talks and YouTube Videos
10 Recommended Books
Positive News Sources
10 Quotes
A Take-Home Message
References

What is the Meaning of Kindness? (Incl. Definition)

Is kindness simply the act of being nice to someone or is there more to it?
How is it the same or different than altruism? Can a person be kind without
wanting something in return? Is being kind a service to others, to self, or
both?

These are the questions posed by philosophers, psychologists, sociologists,

and theologians. No one has the answers, but many have attempted finding
insights through experiments. These experiments seek to better understand
what drives altruistic behavior in individuals.

Some researchers have found that human’s seek cooperation. We want to get
along. When tested using a Public Goods Game approach, Rand, Greene, and
Nowak (2012) learned that faster decisions led to more cooperation. From
their perspective, this happens because longer decision making involves
careful deliberation. When we’re asked to make a decision right now our
actions are more intuitive.

Their work is an excellent starting point for this subject, but we’ll begin with a
definition of kindness. For this, let’s review one provided by Pam (2013) in the
Psychology Dictionary online.

It is a benevolent and helpful action intentionally directed towards another

person, it is motivated by the desire to help another and not to gain explicit
reward or to avoid explicit punishment.

“The desire to help another” makes one think of compassion which involves
taking action to reduce suffering.

What then, is altruism? The essence of altruistic behavior is selflessness. A

person acts in service to others without regard for their own well-being or
needs (Oxford Living Dictionaries, 2019). For example, an elderly person
enters a crowded subway train. There are no seats available. Seeing this, a
stranger picks up his overloaded tool bag from the floor, stands, and offers his
seat. This behavior could be altruistic.

Is altruism an innate trait? Humans, according to Hepach and Tomasello

(2012) have a genuine concern for others and this starts as early as the
toddler years. Some refute this and research is ongoing (Pletti, Scheel, &
Paulus, 2017).

No discussion about kindness is complete without including the work of Hans

Selye. He argued that to reduce the negative effects of everyday stressors, we
need to do good for others. In The Stress of Life, he suggests that in doing so
our physiological responses to stress change. He advocated for altruistic
egoism (Jackson, 2012).

Altruistic egoism at its core means that in order for one to be happy and
healthy, one must help others. Love and gratitude for others lead to greater
feelings of satisfaction and security (Luks & Payne, 2001).

For now, our focus is exploring the benefits of kindness as it relates to self and
others. We’ll also take a look at possible shortcomings of being kind. If you’re
curious about the relationship between kindness and compassion, we’ll touch
on that, too.

A Look at the Psychology of Kindness

Are unhappy people kind? Can unhappy people become kind? Are happy
people kinder than unhappy people?

Again, we can look to research for insights into the connection between these
traits. But first, what type of happiness are we talking about? Does it matter?

Hedonic happiness is about the self. From this perspective, we want to

increase pleasure and avoid pain. This is the most basic way to view hedonia.
Eudaimonic happiness includes self and others. Its focus is meaning and self-
realization with a definition of well-being based on “the degree to which a
person is fully functioning (Ryan and Deci, 2001).

There is a connection between the two, but research definitions are

sometimes vague. To address this, Huta & Waterman (2014) suggested new
terminology and classifications. They are:

Degree of centrality – Are the concepts core, close-to-core, and major

correlates?
Category of analysis – Does the definition represent orientations, values,
motives, or goals?
Level of measurement – Is the definition used for trait and/or state
comparisons?
For our purposes, we’re exploring the relationship between eudaimonic
happiness and kindness.

Otake, Shimai, Tanaka-Matsumi, Otsui, & Fredrickson (2006) describe kindness

as combining three components.

The motivation to be kind to others

Recognition of kindness in others
Engaging in kind behavior daily

In their investigations the researchers wanted to know two things:

What is the relationship between kindness and subjective happiness?

Can people become happier by introducing a counting kindness intervention?

To explore the first question, they used the Subjective Happiness Scale. It
measures daily happy and unhappy experiences. The questionnaire also
consists of motivation, recognition, and behavior-related items.

For the second question, the team asked participants to count the number of
kind acts they did every day. They performed this task for one week. The
researchers used the same scale pre and post-intervention. They also
measured gratitude as it related to participants’ response to receiving
kindness.

Their findings were:

Happy people scored higher on their motivation to perform, and their

recognition and enactment of kind behaviors.
Happy people have more happy memories in daily life in terms of both
quantity and quality.
Subjective happiness was increased simply by counting one’s own acts of
kindness for one week.
Happy people became more kind and grateful through the counting
kindnesses intervention.
(Otake, 2006)
One of the challenges with studying kindness lies in its definition. A second is
how to measure it. Lee Rowland (2018) in a review of kindness literature, cites
one example that manages to do both. David Canter and colleagues (2017)
identified three components of kindness.

Rowland highlights their findings as follows:

benign tolerance, a type of everyday courteousness, acceptance and love of

one’s fellows;
empathetic responsivity, a consideration of the feelings of other particular
individuals; and,
principled pro-action, broadly altruistic behavior that is proactive and about
behaving honorably.

He also explains that the research showed another feature: core kindness.
This is the umbrella over the previous three. This overarching sentiment is like
empathy, but also involves “active gestures born of warm feelings for others”
(Rowland, 2018).

One thing that researchers know is that being kind and being a recipient of
kindness is a good thing — for everyone. There’s little debate about that.

Kindness is …

What is kindness, anyway?

Kindness and Positive Psychology

Before the rise of positive psychology, research centered on abnormal

behavior. The focus was on what was wrong with people and how to fix them.

Positive psychology researchers concern themselves with what works in

peoples’ lives. They want to know how to increase those experiences so that
people can thrive and flourish.

The subjects explored in positive psychology are many, and diverse. Lee
Rowland (2018) views the interest in kindness as resulting from the
combination of three events.

The rise of positive psychology as a legitimate area of scholarship

Evidence that empathy and altruism are innate
Negative news cycles frustrating people so much that they crave some good
news

The topic of kindness is in the Bible, Quran, and Torah. The Bible includes
many references to kindness. Among them are:

A man who is kind benefits himself, but a cruel man hurts himself. (Proverbs
11:17)
Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth. (1 John
3:18)
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness,
[and] faithfulness. (Galatians 5:22)

Writer Zia Shah cited two hundred in the Quran. Included are:

Indeed, Allah enjoins justice, and the doing of good to others; and giving like
kindred; and forbids indecency, and manifest evil, and wrongful transgression.
He admonished you that you may take heed. (Al Quran 16:91)
And as for those who strive in Our path — We will surely guide them in Our
ways. And Indeed, Allah is with those who are of service to others. (Al Quran
29:70)
The reward of goodness is nothing but goodness. (Al Quran 55:61)

Rabbi Maurice Lamm writes,

What is quite clearly the most consistent and all-embracing act of faith is
called Chesed, which means kindness and implies the giving of oneself to
helping another without regard to compensation.

He explains in Day to Day Judaism: Kindness, that kindness is a daily

requirement. He also cites a passage from the Talmud clarifying the difference
between charity and kindness.

“The Rabbis taught: In three ways is kindness greater than charity. Charity is
done with money; kindness can be either with one’s person or one’s money.
Charity is for the poor; kindness can be done for either the poor or the rich.
Charity is for the living; kindness can be done for the living or the dead
(Sukkah 49b).”

If we were to examine other religious texts, we’d likely find more references to
kindness. Based on its prevalence in those texts, it’s evident that our
fascination with it is thousands of years old. Until recently we didn’t
understand how being kind helps us mentally and physically.

The Research on Kindness and Mental Health

There’s a plethora of research surrounding this topic. You could spend weeks,
maybe months, combing through scientific journals. To save you time here’s
some great information that summaries much of what researchers know.

The Science of Kindness from Random Acts of Kindness

The Science of Kindness

Rowland and Curry (2018) also found,

After seven days of performing kind acts, happiness increases, and

There’s a positive relationship between the number of kind acts and the level
of happiness someone experiences.

Doing kind acts and showing gratitude might be difficult for some, but the
more you do it, the easier it is. You’ll also be happier and less stressed by the
end of your day.

12 Interesting Facts and Statistics

In Sarah Tashjiian’s (2018) article, Does it pay to be kind? she identifies

several kindness benefits all supported by scientific inquiry. Here are some of
those benefits:

Prosocial behaviors increase happiness and self-esteem

Being kind improves how others see and accept you
Kindness leads to reductions in risks for disease
Neural networks related to reward fire when we’re kind, and when we see
others experience kindness

No two people express or behave with kindness the same way or to the same
degree. In Tashjiian’s article (2018) she also identified that,

People with less money show more generosity, charitability, and helpfulness,
Children who are more social exhibit more prosocial behavior, and
Kindness is positively related to better self-regulation and less emotional
reactivity

Researchers from KindLab at Kindness.org conducted a meta-analysis of 27

experimental studies. According to them, research supports that kindness has
a significant effect on well-being.

KindLab also reported several other findings including,

Kindness ranked above physical attractiveness in a potential mate. They

received responses from 10,047 people from 33 countries,
If a doctor expressed empathy and kindness, surveyed patients’ colds
shortened by 1 day,
Kindness can lower the effects of stress,
Being kind to others boosts psychological flourishing, and
Kindness is an effective way to reduce state-level social anxiety.

The Key Characteristics and Attributes of a Kind Person

Finding a scientifically-validated list of what it takes to be a kind person

doesn’t exist. What we can do is glean this information from a variety of
pieces of research. Following is a brief list of traits that surfaced again, and
again.

kindness traits

Empathy
Good listening skills
Social
Generous
Charitable
Helpful
Courteous
Engage in perspective-taking
Caring/nurturing

The Dalai Lama Center for Peace and Education decided to ask a few expert
citizen scientists. Here are their responses.

Kindness Through Their Eyes

Become a citizen scientist for a few minutes and explore the following
questions.

What would you add to this list?

What criteria would you use to include your suggestion(s)?
What definitions would you use?
How would cultural differences or similarities help you determine what to
include?

Leave a comment below and let us know.

5 Examples of Kindness in Action

Acts of kindness worldwide are plentiful. Whether it’s a person giving up their
seat on a crowded commuter train, or pulling someone from a burning car,
they happen every day.

Our brains tend to focus on the negative, scanning the environment for
threats. We must be proactive in our pursuit of finding and recognizing kind
acts. They won’t always be extraordinary, but they always will be necessary
for our survival.

In no particular order, here are five fabulous examples of kindness in action.

R.A.K.E. (Random Acts of Kindness Everywhere ), created by Ricky Smith in

Cleveland, OH started because he had an insatiable desire to give back to
others. As he performed acts, big and small, he garnered the attention of
people throughout his hometown. See Ricky in action.
Taking An UberCOMMUTE Trip | Uber

Think Kindness inspires and challenges young people to act kindly. The
organization, led by Brian Williams, guides school communities to spread
kindness in 15 days through random acts. Watch Brian motivate a group of
middle school students at Kent State University.

Speaking To a MASSIVE audience

Kindness Boomerang, viewed more than 30 million times, shares a simple

message: kindness is contagious. It’s the brainchild of Life Vest Inside founder,
Orly Wahba. She’s on a mission to “empower and unite the world with
kindness.”

Life Vest Inside - Kindness Boomerang -

Get a box of tissues. 10 incredible acts of kindness caught on camera is a real-

life tear-jerker.

10 Incredible Acts of Kindness Caught On Camera

Still have that box of tissues? Here are a few more Incredible acts of kindness
caught on camera.

Incredible Acts of Kindness Caught On Camera

This section could be quite long. You’re invited to add to this list in the
comments below.

A Look at Kindness as a Character Strength

Chris Peterson and Martin Seligman (2004) investigated character strengths

and virtues found worldwide. They recognized that settings shape a person’s
traits and, thus can change. Peterson and Seligman also understood that
individual traits are stable and general (p. 10).
Their exploration culminated in the identification of 24 universal character
strengths. Each strength is further classified according to a theme of which
there are six.

Classification of Character Strengths

The inclusion of a character strength involved meeting most of the following

ten criteria:

Fulfilling – The act is intrinsically motivating and rewarding.

Morally valued – Regardless of whether it produces a desirable
outcome/reward.
Doesn’t diminish others – The creative act of one, benefits others.
Nonfelicitous opposite – This is a linguistic measure. The researchers were
attempting to reduce confusion caused by synonyms or antonyms.
Traitlike – The strength is general and stable across situations and time.
Distinctiveness – The trait differs from the other traits in a meaningful way.
Paragons – Stories, legends, and myths include the desired trait
Prodigies – Like in other domains, it’s possible that a person could show an
unusual talent for a particular strength.
Selective absence – This leaves room for the possibility that someone doesn’t
have a particular strength at all. For example, a person might score zero for
humor.
Institutions and rituals – These are societal supports. Examples include sports
teams, after-school programs, religious institutions, etc.

Kindness is a character strength within the Humanity theme. This theme

encompasses tending to and befriending others. Their definition of kindness
is:
Doing favors and good deeds for others; helping them; taking care of them.

Synonyms include generosity, nurturance, care, compassion, altruistic love,

and “niceness” (Peterson & Seligman, p. 29, 2004).

For a detailed explanation of this and other virtues, read their book, Character
strengths and virtues: A handbook and classification. (Amazon)

Is Kindness a Weakness?
Research doesn’t support the perspective that to be kind is to be weak. It
does tell us that it makes us stronger mentally and physically.

If you’re on the fence about this or surrounded by naysayers, watch Robin

Sharma’s video. He’s a leadership expert with a great explanation for why
kindness isn’t a weakness.

Why Kindness Is Not A Weakness | Robin Sharma

Why is Kindness an Important Personality and Character Trait?

If you want a happier world, start with kindness. It’s contagious, slows aging,
is good for your heart, and improves relationships.

Dr. David Hamilton explains this in The five side effects of kindness. He says
we’re not selfish people, we evolved to help each other. This led to strong
bonds and increased survival rates.

Popular TV shows or movies highlight the importance of strong group bonds.

Vikings, Sons of Anarchy, and Avengers are examples of this. There are many
more examples real and imagined.

Kindness is not only an important trait, but it’s also critical for our success as
a species.

Hamilton explains how oxytocin, produced when we express kindness and

compassion, helps us.

Why kindness is good for you

Why kindness is good for you: Dr. David Hamilton at TEDxHackney

The Value of Showing Kindness to Others

By now, you’re filled with ideas about how to do random acts of kindness.
You’re motivated to get started but wait — there’s more.

Do you want to look and feel younger?

Mark Kelly shares how doing one act of kindness every day does exactly that.

How one act of kindness a day can change your life | Mark Kelly | TEDxTallaght

The Scottish Government values kindness so much that it included it in its

National Performance Framework (Wallace, 2018). The new framework
outlines the purpose of the government. It also identifies outcomes all public
institutions need to achieve. Their values statement is:

“We are a society which treats all our people with kindness, dignity and
compassion respects the rule of law and acts in an open and transparent
way.”

The Bhutanese government measures their success according to Gross

National Happiness (GNH.) The 4 Pillars of GNH guide their endeavors.

Sustainable & Equitable Socio-economic development

Good Governance
Preservation & Promotion of Culture
Environmental Conservation

The 9 Domains of GNH allow for the more specific measurement of The 4
Pillars.

Living standards
Education
Health
Environment
Community vitality
Time-use
Psychological well-being
Good governance
Cultural resilience and promotion

The value of kindness isn’t stated, but it’s clear that it underlies many of the
domains. The Bhutanese have been an example for many other countries.
Using Kindness in Leadership

Gay Haskins and Alison Gill (2018) conducted a survey of 200 leaders from
public and private institutions.

These leaders came from around the world. Haskins and Gill wanted to
understand how leaders perceived their role after the 2008 global economic
crisis. After that crisis and other issues, trust in public and private
organizations eroded in the UK and US. The researchers also wanted to know
what role, if any, kindness has in business operations.

Study participants indicated that there needed to be a move toward a

relational management style. The focus of leadership needed to shift from
‘what’ to including ‘how’ and ‘why.’

The role of kindness involved several actions (Haskins & Gill, 2018):

fostering a sense of inclusion

accommodating personal issues
treating others respectfully
generosity in giving and receiving
caring and being responsive
communicating with a personal touch
being transparent
explaining information logically
giving time and active listening
valuing differing perspectives
giving honest and constructive feedback
counseling and mentoring
embracing diversity and tolerance

Many of the leaders viewed kindness as a core value. When it is seen as a

core value and is communicated consistently, employees are happier and
more productive. Financial performance also increases.

It’s important that boards and the executives running an organization agree
on values. Some leaders believed kindness is difficult to sell in the boardroom
or with shareholders.

Haskins and Gill identified four key attributes of kind leaders:

empathy
altruism
respect
fairness

These are the same traits board members need to show. According to their
study, “kindness potentially holds the key to building trust in commercial
business; this leap of faith starts with the board.”

Being a “tough as nails” leader has negative consequences. Emma Seppala

writing for the Harvard Business Review (2014) cited two.

increased employee stress which contributes to high health care and more
turnover
lack of bonding leads to increased psychological distress

Being kind had the opposite effect. It also increased trust and a sense of
belonging. Self-sacrificing leaders gain loyal and committed employees. These
employees are friendlier and more helpful to fellow teammates.

The bottom line? Be kind. The benefits mentioned in this article thus far also
apply in the office.

Kindness vs Compassion

Why, from an evolutionary perspective, would humans be compassionate? UC

Berkeley researcher Dacher Keltner explains how compassion developed in
people.

The Evolutionary Roots of Compassion - Dacher Keltner (UC Berkeley)

Compassion is action-oriented. We feel for another person’s plight and take

action to help. This differs from empathy in which we feel the pain of another
person’s plight. In this latter case, we don’t take action to reduce the pain. In
fact, we can experience empathy even while viewing a fictional show or
movie.
Empathy is exhausting. It can lead to feelings of burnout. Compassion is like a
warm hug. It also can be invigorating. They aren’t necessarily connected.
Researcher Paul Bloom (2017) offers a few examples.

You can worry about a child who’s afraid, pick the child up to offer comfort
(compassion), but not feel the child’s fear (empathy.)
You can be concerned about starving people and try to support them
(compassion) without experiencing starvation (empathy.)

In the brain, empathy and compassion activate in different locations. Feelings

of distress are characteristic of empathy. Feelings of concern and a desire to
ease suffering are characteristic of compassion. Training in compassion versus
empathy leads to more prosocial behaviors (Bloom, 2017).

Are kindness and compassion the same thing? Based on the previous
definitions and examples one could argue that they are.

If you make a point to smile at people (kind act) could that be an act of
compassion? You might not know how that simple action reduced another
person’s suffering, but that doesn’t make it any less compassionate.

Can we be kind but not compassionate? Again, according to our definition of

kindness, compassion (an action) is kindness.

Recall the definition provided by Pam (2013) at the start of this article:

“It is a benevolent and helpful action intentionally directed towards another

person, it is motivated by the desire to help another and not to gain explicit
reward or to avoid explicit punishment.”

Perhaps you have a different perspective. If so, please share it in the

comments.

14 Activities and Worksheets to Promote Kindness (Incl. PDF)

If you’d like to accept a kindness challenge, head over to Kindness.org. It’s a

nonprofit whose team members believe “kindness is the catalyst in solving
the world’s biggest challenges.” Through their KindLab they test this
hypothesis every day. You also could become a Citizen Scientist and help add
to their research.
It’s hard to be a bully and be kind at the same time. The Great Kindness
Challenge Toolkit (PDF) is a wonderful resource for schools. The materials are
appropriate for pre-K – 12th grades.

Do you want to help kids and adults focus on kindness for an entire week? Use
the Random Acts of Kindness Week (PDF) for ideas. This is the same
organization who sponsored RAKWeek2018.

The Center for Healthy Minds (PDF) offers a mindfulness-based kindness

curriculum for preschoolers. The course includes eight themes. The material
focuses on managing emotions, working out problems, gratitude,
interdependence, and caring for the world.

Visit Doing Good Together for free printable tools all about kindness. Be sure
to check out their Summer of Kindness Bucket list.

for newbies
for experienced do-gooders

They also have a 30 Days of Kindness Challenge for families.

7 Simple Kind Acts

Start a gratitude corner in your office or classroom. Teammates or students

can post messages about the kind things someone did for them in the past
week. At the end of the week talk about the messages as a group.
Start a gratitude journal or use an app like Bliss. Research links gratitude to
well-being and better health. A recent study showed that concern for others
changes after a three-week journaling intervention (Karns, Moore, & Mayr,
2017).
Buy coffee or tea for the person behind you in line. You could put a big smile
on someone’s face by paying for their morning brew.
Pay for someone’s entry into a state or national park. The average US national
park entry fee ranges from $25-$30/vehicle. Parks around the world have
similar costs.
Pick up trash around your community. In North America, you can get involved
through the Adopt-a-Highway program. If you do, then you’ll clean up a
section of highway for a specified period of time.
Visit elderly people in a nursing home. Create the Good has great suggestions
in their friendly visitor kit for how to make the most of your visit.
Create a free library. Little Free Library has models or you could build one of
your own. These are great for smaller communities, and for communities
whose libraries lack resources.

Little Free Library

Want to build your own Tardis library? If you have intermediate-level building
skills, Steve Ramsey’s How to build a Tardis video can help you.

How to build a TARDIS! Limited tools needed. Free plans.

What’s your favorite kindness activity? Tell us all about it in the comments. By
doing this one small act you’ll inspire at least one other person to copy you.

What is Kindness Week?

The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation used to host an annual Kindness

Week. According to a post on their site, Random Acts of Kindness Day started
appearing on calendars in February. Because it happened around the same
time as RAKWeek, the Foundation decided to stop officially organizing a week-
long event.

The Foundation still provides several free resources and activities including
kindness calendars.

Kindness Week was an opportunity to highlight, share, and celebrate kind acts
worldwide. Spreading a message of kindness is contagious and it starts with
one person. Pictures and stories provide a counterbalance to the negative
media that bombards us.

Now you can celebrate RAKDay every February with millions of other people.
Don’t feel like you’re limited to one day, though. With the resources on the
Foundation’s site, you can celebrate kindness all year long.

The World Kindness Movement (WKM) began in Tokyo, Japan November 13th,
1997. It’s a global group offering a platform for like-minded organizations to
share and collaborate. The mission of WKM is:

“to inspire individuals towards greater kindness by connecting nations to

create a kinder world.”
To date, there are 37 member nations. If you’re interested in getting involved,
visit their Find a project page. World Kindness Day is November 13, 2019. The
purpose is to highlight, share, and celebrate acts of kindness.

10 Ted Talks and YouTube Videos

Omaha, NE isn’t just home to The Oracle, Warren Buffet. It’s also the home
base for The Secret Kindness Agents. Ferial Pearson, an educator, developed
the program in response to the Sandy Hook Elementary shootings. Listen to
how she convinced a group of low-income students to accept their new
mission.

The secret kindness agents | Ferial Pearson | TEDxOmaha

Brian Williams shares how Think Kindness got its start. He challenges each of
us to ask ourselves, “What ripples will I start through my actions?” and “What
impact do I want to have in this world?” He wanted to inspire massive
amounts of people. What do you want to do?

Think Kindness: Brian Williams at TEDxUniversityofNevada

Jennifer Willis-Rivera, Development Officer at Random Acts, shares three

lessons about kindness. Bonus: She shares several health benefits, too.

You don’t have to be good to be kind,

Kindness is like a vaccine, and
Kindness is selfish, but in a good way.

The Hidden Power of Kindness | Jennifer Willis-Rivera | TEDxUWRiverFalls

Why is apathy acceptable? Why is it okay to watch someone suffer alone

when surrounded by many? Scientist Jeremy Goldberg wondered these things
so he started Long Distance Love Bombs. He brings up an interesting point to
ponder: Why are we living in a world where kindness is an idea worth
spreading?
What if kindness was cool? | Jeremy Goldberg | TEDxTownsville

Life Vest Inside founder Orly Wahba shares the passion that started her
organization. She takes you from dream to reality through dreaming,
believing, and trusting. In who? Yourself.

The power of kindness | Orly Wahba | TEDxStPeterPort

Isadora Dantas fulfilled a lifelong dream and moved from Brazil to NYC. After a
few months, she was lonely and unhappy. People in Brazil smiled, engaged in
chats, and didn’t have the same personal space rules. Dantas decided to try a
few kindness interventions. She did them for a full year. What did she learn? If
she took the first step, then that would change everything for her. Here are
her three steps to growing kindness:

Make a mental decision to be kind every day,

Accept being vulnerable, and
Just do it – Find the opportunities to be kind.

Creating Happiness Through Kindness | Isadora Dantas | TEDxUCLA

Do you believe kindness is a cure? Cindy Grimes does. She also believes that
it can take us from a place of fear to love and openness. Here are two
suggestions she offers.

Give up the news, and

Watch with mindfulness if you can’t give it up.

Kindness is the Cure - A Call for Kindness | Cindy Grimes | TEDxOcala

Steven Pinker explains in The better angels of our nature, that violence is, and
has been, in decline. In fact, this is probably the most peaceful time humans
have experienced. This talk offers a different perspective on world events.

The Better Angels of our Nature

Fearless Soul challenges us to start with ourselves by lifting others up. What
difference can you make to one human life? Remember, kindness is
contagious.

How You Treat People Is Who You Are! (Kindness Motivational Video)

Here are a few more examples from Botlhale Tshetlo’s TEDxSoweto that you
can do wherever you are.

My 38 random acts of kindness: Botlhale Tshetlo at TEDxSoweto 2013

10 Recommended Books

Kindness is a hot topic these days. A google search for “how many books are
there about kindness” returns more than 87 million. Searching Amazon for
books about kindness yields pages of results.

To make things easier, and to spread a little more kindness, here’s a short list
of books to get you started.

Secret kindness agents – Ferial Pearson

What would happen if you did one small act of compassion for someone?
Would it, could it, change a life? This is the central question that jump-started
Secret Kindness Agents.

(Amazon)

Why kindness is good for you – David R. Hamilton

Science and real-world examples unite to explain how we’re wired to be

compassionate. Learn the real secret to longevity.

(Amazon)

The healing power of doing good – Peggy Payne and Allen Luks

When we care for others, we care for ourselves. Volunteerism, the most
compassionate act, helps the receiver and the giver live a healthier, happier
life. This book will help you see how you can create space in your life to
volunteer, and why you should.

(Amazon)

Character Strengths Interventions: A field guide for practitioners – Ryan M.

Niemiec

Theory meets practical application for each of the 24 VIA character strengths
in this guide. You’ll learn how to flex your strengths more and how to dial
them back when needed.

(Amazon)

Character Strengths and virtues – Christopher Peterson and Martin Seligman

This primer on character and the universal strengths identified by the authors
provides the reader with the theory behind the selection of the 24 VIA
character strengths.

(Amazon)

The Kindness Cure: How the science of compassion can heal your heart and
your world – Tara Cousineau

How do we reduce fear and indifference in the world? Cousineau argues that
acts of kindness can do exactly that. Through an exploration of psychology
and neuroscience, you’ll discover how.

(Amazon)

The stress of life – Hans Selye

Consider a primer for anyone interested in how stress affects the body, Selye
explains the discovery of stress and how to combat it.

(Amazon)

Give and Take: Why helping others drives our success – Adam Grant

Are you a giver, taker, or matcher? Through his research Grant explains that
givers tend to achieve extraordinary success. Their achievements span a wide
range of industries.

(Amazon)
Leading with Kindness: How good people consistently get superior results –
William F. Baker and Michael O’Malley, Ph.D.

What are the attributes of kind leaders? How can leaders leverage kindness to
motivate employees and increase productivity? The authors share answers to
these and other questions about kindness. They also show how leaders can
define kindness within the context of a business.

(Amazon)

Kindness in Leadership – Gay Haskins, Michael Thomas, et al.

The authors share the results of their interviews with 200 leaders in public and
private sectors. They delve into the importance of kindness in different
organizations. Included is an exploration of differences and similarities world-
wide across gender, age, and economic groups.

(Amazon)

Please share your recommendations in the comments. Feel free to include

children’s books, too. Those often provide the best lessons.

Positive News Sources

In a world with a 24/7 news cycle, we get inundated with and overwhelmed by
negative news. Turn on the TV, read a post or newspaper. What are the
headlines? Murder, mayhem, and destruction greet us page after page and
click after click.

But, there are news organizations bucking this trend. Here are a few you
should investigate.

Yes Magazine
Through rigorous reporting on the positive ways communities are responding
to social problems and insightful commentary that sparks constructive
discourse, YES! Media inspires people to build a more just, sustainable, and
compassionate world.

Positive News
When much of the media is full of doom and gloom, Positive News is the first
media organization in the world that is dedicated to quality, independent
reporting about what’s going right.

Good News Network

From its beginnings, the website has been a clearinghouse for the gathering
and dissemination of positive news stories from around the globe, confirming
what people already know — that good news itself is not in short supply; the
broadcasting of it is.

The Guardian
Our Half Full series focuses on constructive stories, innovations, and people
trying to make a difference.

10 Quotes

The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation has a great collection of quotes if

you’d like to read more. Here are a few from some names you’ll recognize, but
also some from several RAKtivists.

What’s a RAKtivist? These people are ambassadors of kindness. They share

knowledge and lead by example. The Foundation currently has about 26K
between the ages of 14-89 from 87 countries.

Unexpected kindness is the most powerful, least costly, and most underrated
agent of human change.

Bob Kerrey

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

Mark Twain

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy,

practice compassion.

Dalai Lama

Kindness is having a generous heart and having a selfless personality.

RAKtivist
Being kind is giving even when it seems like you have nothing to give.

RAKtivist

Kind hearts are the gardens. Kind thoughts are the roots. Kind words are the
blossoms. Kind deeds are the fruits.

Kirpal Singh

What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of
difference you want to make.

Jane Goodall

We rise by lifting others.

Robert Ingersoll

Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but
manifestations of strength and resolution.

Kahlil Gibran

Kindness has a beautiful way of reaching down into a weary heart and making
it shine like the rising sun.

Unknown

A Take Home Message

All the research in the world about kindness doesn’t matter until we take it to
heart and commit to action. Approach doing acts of kindness the Kaizen way
— one small act at a time. Doing this often yields fabulous results. You can
even start with yourself. How much safer and happier would people be if they
treated themselves with kindness? We might eradicate bullying behavior
altogether.

Start your ripple today.

References

About the Author

As a habit change aficionado, facilitator, and coach, Kori Miller loves helping
others achieve their goals one bite-size step at a time. She completed
graduate-level coursework in positive psychology through the University of
Missouri-Columbia and is completing a master's program in Educational
Psychology with a specialization in neuropsychology. Kori is an author,
entrepreneur, martial artist, and chess enthusiast who spends her free time
coaching children in three local chess clubs. You can reach out to her at
www.ardentpath.com.
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