1.

EXPERIENCE WHO YOU TRULY ARE

I’m a monkey-man of flesh and blood, fortunate (or unfortunate) enough to have a brain that
generates an experience of self awareness. We call this the mind. But through the relentless
and sometimes painful exploration of my own consciousness, I have come to believe something
a bit different.

We are also gods with amnesia. We are born into this dimension of polarity we affectionately
call ‘life’ forgetting our heritage, the truth of our existence. We are told that we are solely our
body and the identity that has formed around it, shaped by our personal history. On one level,
this isn’t wrong. Our body is real, our identity is real enough as well. But we are much more
than that. We are consciousness, life force, soul, divine self, or whatever your vocabulary permits
you to call the eternal traveler that occupies this body in order to learn and experience from the
schoolyard of physical manifestation.

When you claim your true heritage it is an unbelievable feeling. It is a feeling of connection,
love, and the distinct absence of fear.

FEAR IS WHAT BRINGS FROST ON A WARM DAY, AND LONELINESS WHEN

ALL AROUND YOU THERE ARE OPEN ARMS. FEAR IS WHAT PREVENTS US
FROM LOVING OTHERS ENOUGH TO TRULY BE OF SERVICE.

1 FIVE THINGS TO ACHIEVE BEFORE YOU DIE

So how do you experience yourself as a force of
consciousness? It starts with just a moment where you
can feel it. This might happen spontaneously, as some
miraculous revelation or satori as it is called in Buddhism.
But typically you need a process. For me, it has been my
work with the great plant medicines and psychedelics.
Feeling my body and my identity stripped away to reveal
myself as a being of consciousness--A force of Love as
self awareness. Since experiencing myself as who I am,
albeit briefly, I try to do the things to find my way back-
-to claim a little bit more of my divine essence in my
daily life. Those things include meditation, yoga, ecstatic
dance, nature, even sex! Yes, sex. Anyone who tries to tell
you that sex and divinity should be separate is someone
who probably doesn’t know much about either.

NOW, IF YOU HAVEN’T EXPERIENCED THIS FEELING OF ONENESS, OF SELF BEYOND

FEAR, OF LOVE EXPRESSED HUMANLY, THEN EVERYTHING I AM WRITING HERE IS GOING
TO SOUND LIKE SOME WOO WOO BULLSHIT.

I get it. I was the person who believed all the talk about ‘spirit’ and the ‘soul’ was the biggest
lie ever peddled. Then I felt it for the first time, on a vision quest in the mountains, on psilocybin
mushrooms. I had no choice but to accept that my old paradigm needed some adjustments.

If you are interested in psychedelics, I highly recommend reading Michael Pollan’s book “How to
Change Your Mind.” There is excellent research on the benefits, beyond the more metaphysical
understandings that I am discussing here. But remember, psychedelics aren’t for everyone.
They come with some risks, and they aren’t the only way up the mountain. They can, however,
certainly be a shortcut.

So how am I doing with the process of claiming who I am? Well, some days I feel like I am
getting closer, and some days I feel like I will never get there. But then I remind myself that
there is no ‘there’, there is just a now. I can only be who I truly am now, I cannot be who I truly
am in the past or the future. So I stick with the process, doing my best not to judge myself
when I indulge fear or ego, and when I totally forget that I am more than just a body.

Before we pass from this life, I believe the single most important thing we can do, is experience
(even if just for a moment) the truth of who we are. And to expand on everything I am
discussing, I highly recommend reading either The Book of Truth by Paul Selig, or Ted Dekker’s
The 49th Mystic.

2 FIVE THINGS TO ACHIEVE BEFORE YOU DIE

2. OVERCOME YOUR FEAR OF DEATH

We are all going to die. But we have our understanding of death all wrong. Death is a transition
out of this dimension, an opportunity to hit the reset button on the momentum of our identity.
As Rumi said, that which strikes the shell, does not harm the pearl. Our body is the shell,
our spirit is the pearl. We shed this body, but remain entirely intact, free from physical pain,
suffering and fear. But there is a lot about the world that we will miss. There is no physical love
in the dimensions that are not physical.

THERE IS NO RAIN ON THE SKIN, THERE IS NO EMBRACE OF YOUR

LOVER, NO SMELL OF COOKIES BAKING IN THE OVEN, NO HOT COFFEE
BLENDED WITH FRESH BUTTER, NO FEELING YOUR MUSCLES WORKING
UNDER A HEAVY LOAD.

But guess what? The more we remain in fear of our own death, the harder it is to enjoy
physical love. We will spend all of our time in the futile effort to bail the water of time
from our boat, when inevitably we are all going to sink into the great ocean of Love. So, we
might as well sail, and fish, and feel the wind in our hair, even as each strand turns from
brown to gray.

So, how does one overcome the fear of death? It goes back to number one, you have to
experience yourself beyond death. You have to experience the timeless part of yourself, and
trust that this timeless part is actually who you are. Once you have experienced yourself as
pure consciousness, all the way through to your bones, death might be a shame (especially
if it comes painfully or unpredictably), but it is not anything that needs to be feared.

For myself, the first time I experienced the release of my fear of death was during my first
session with Ayahuasca. You can read about the experience here.

3 FIVE THINGS TO ACHIEVE BEFORE YOU DIE

 3. LOVE SOMETHING MORE
THAN YOUR LIFE

If you have never been willing to die for anything,

you haven’t truly lived. It is a feeling of love so
powerful that it recalibrates every cell in your being.
It is the moment that we cry in every epic movie,
because inside us is a hero that would gladly lay
down their life for a world or a person that they love
more than their own life. It is the greatest virtue of
the hero and the deepest expression of Love. So, I
ask you my friends, what would you be willing to die
for? Maybe it’s your children. Your lover. Whatever
it is, find that person, that idea, that thing, and you
will have as the cornerstone upon which you build
the remainder of your identity.

For myself, the plant medicines once again

played an integral role in showing me that I loved
something beyond my own life. I was at the tail end
of a 4 ceremony Ayahuasca cycle, and unbeknownst
to myself, I was getting very sick. I would find out
later after some diagnostics that my body was
being overrun with a severe candida outbreak. The
ayahuasca was extremely heavy, and I wasn’t sure I
even had the strength to drink a cup.

THEN MY SHAMAN DON HOWARD, LIKE GANDALF THE WHITE, CAME AND
WHISPERED TO ME “THE WARRIOR’S HEART BEATS AS ONE HEART.”

I knew then that, despite the suffering and tax on my body that would come from drinking
another cup, I wasn’t just drinking it for myself. So, I poured the thick, earthy brew down
my throat and sat up for as long as I could. It wasn’t very long until I was forced on my
mat in the fetal position. The visions were swirling, the nausea was deafening, I was
sweating, and my chest was heaving. I started to cry softly in my blanket; not the sobs of
an emotional purge, but the quiet, pitiful tears of a man who was contemplating giving up
on life. The suffering continued, until it was nearly unbearable.

4 FIVE THINGS TO ACHIEVE BEFORE YOU DIE

I COULD FEEL THE SWEET WHISPER CALLING ME TO RELEASE FROM MY BODY -
LIKE A SIREN, BECKONING ME TOWARD THE END OF PHYSICAL SUFFERING AND
REUNION WITH THE DIVINE.

I was about to give up and surrender to the call. What would have happened if I did? At
the time, I was convinced it would mean that I was going to die right there on my mat.
But before I could mentally pull the plug, I heard the voice of my deceased Grandmother
Bonnie. She said “Get up, Aubrey, get up!” I remained motionless, without even the energy
to acknowledge her. The dialogue continued.

“Get up Aubrey, you have to get up, you’re not done yet.”
“Grandma, I can’t. I don’t have the strength.”
“Aubrey, get up. You aren’t doing this for yourself. Look at the people you love.”

At that moment I saw everyone that I loved in my life. My friends, my family, my lovers. The
tears doubled in size and were pouring down my face, pooling on the ground. But at the
same time, a fire ignited in my heart--an ember of warmth in what had felt like a corpse.

My grandma continued, “Now look outside the door. What do you see?”

LIKE THE FINAL DEATH SCENE FROM MY FAVORITE PLAY, CYRANO DE BERGERAC,
I SAW THE ENEMIES OF MY BELOVED OUTSIDE OF THE DOOR.

I could name them, I could feel their energy. Fear. Greed. Ignorance. Injustice.
Unconsciousness. They would hurt those I loved if I were to give up on this world. The fire
in my heart erupted into a great blaze. My suffering was incinerated by an unwavering
sense of purpose. I answered Bonnie.

“Okay Grandma. I’ll get up.” I sat up.

“I’ll fight to the end, no matter what, no matter the suffering. I’ll fight with everything
I have, from my words to my fingernails, to my last breath. I’ll fight to the end, Grandma,
I promise.”

I lit a mapacho, and sat back in my chair--the salt from the river of tears still burning on my
face. That moment I learned that there was something I loved more than myself. Sure, it
was all a simulation, facilitated by the Ayahuasca. But it felt as real as anything ever could.
I know that I am willing to fight for those of love, and that knowing is like a foundation of
stone that I can build the rest of my identity on top of.

5 FIVE THINGS TO ACHIEVE BEFORE YOU DIE

4: ‘KNOW’ THE WORLD

When I say ‘know’ the world, I mean it in the way the Greek’s used the word gnosis--the
definition is something akin to having sex. This means all the expressions of physical love,
including but not limited to sex with another human. What does it feel like to sit in a mud
bath or a hot spring?

WHAT DOES THE BEST RAMEN TASTE LIKE? HAVE YOU JUMPED FROM
A PLANE, OR DOVE UNDER THE OCEAN? HAVE YOU TRAVELED AND
SEEN THE PEOPLE AND PLACES OF EARTH? HAVE YOU BEEN IN FLOW?
DANCED, SURFED, SCREAMED, CRIED, LAUGHED?

When we leave this world, it is physical love that we will miss. So soak it up, enjoy
everything we have to offer. Don’t leave this video game without pressing all the buttons.
Who knows how long Earth will be a viable world to experience, so make sure that you
really live it. For more inspiration, check out my video “To Be A Poet”.

6 FIVE THINGS TO ACHIEVE BEFORE YOU DIE

5: SHARE YOUR MEDICINE

We all have a gift to give. I call this ‘medicine’. It starts with being and manifesting who we
truly are. Then the gift will come naturally. It is the final stage of the hero’s journey that is
called ‘returning with the elixir’. The medicine could be purely your presence, or how you make
others laugh. It could be song, or speech, or dance, or simply loving a child into existence or
easing the suffering of an animal.

THE WORLD AND HER PEOPLE CAN BE HARSH, AND PAINFUL AND
CHALLENGING-- BUT SHE IS ALSO UNDENIABLY INCREDIBLE. SHE IS
WORTHY OF OUR GRATITUDE, AND THERE IS NOTHING THAT FEELS
BETTER THAN SHARING YOUR MEDICINE.

That is what I am trying to do here. That is the reason for every podcast, every blog post,
every book that I write. So thank you for being a part of this journey with me, I wouldn’t do
it without you.

7 FIVE THINGS TO ACHIEVE BEFORE YOU DIE