Biblical considerations of Divorce as

an inverse relationship: An ethical -

spiritual implication of Malachi 2:16

Presented at the
AIIAS 16th Annual Theological Forum,
October 31 to November 2, 2013
AIIAS, Silang, Cavite, Philippines.

By
Emmanuel G M Kollie
Systematic Theology Student
 Introduction
• The institution of marriage Belongs to God. It
is HOLY. However, was given to mankind: was
meant to be kept HOLY.
• Sin – in disharmony with God’s intentions.
• Its introduction left mankind with a tendency
toward wrong doings,
• distorted man dependability upon God
 Introduction
• So then, how can generations defiled by the
enormity of sin venture into a holy institution?
• Why not disengaged the marital contracts if it
would lead one to lose his human dignity or
even lose faith in God?
• Well, this Holy institution still exists and still
belongs to God, and still for the happiness of
mankind.
 BUT!
• Deviance from the intention of God
concerning His institution would emerge the
consequences of spiritual, and ethical
implications on the divorcé and divorcée as
well as their offspring.
– God has hatred against divorce - biblical and
ethical reality which became a burden for the
prophet Malachi.
 Biblical Consideration of marriage

• Purpose of creating male and female

– Gen 1:26 – To be like God in order to reflect his form
and function over other living creatures.
– Gen 1:28 - to bring under their control for their
advantage and harness its potential and use its
resources for their benefit – the wealth of the earth
– Gen 2:20 - to be compatible to each other, standing
opposite each other as counterpart in their divine
appointed assignments.
– Gen 2:25 - Most of all to administer in nakedness
ārȏm, without shame.
 One of God’s intention is about
nakedness
• No suggestion of sexuality…. When nakedness
appears in sexual context, a different term is
used, eg(2 Sam 11:2-4).
– Its Primary connotation rest on - humility,
helplessness, needing protection and
dependability on a higher authority.
• Theological Dictionary of the Old Testament vol XI,
p.352.
 Conceptual understanding
• Old Testament - a powerless condition (newborn
baby or a dead individual) (Job 1:21; Eccl 5:15)
• A.N.E – ‘êrȏm connotes poverty, defeat, captivity,
absence of status, etc.
• Those ‘êrȏm were like prisoners of war stripped
of their clothes and presented naked to the
public to show that their status and power had
been removed (I Sam 19:24; Jer 46:24; 48:1, 13,
20, 39; 50:2; 51:51; Ezek 32:30; Hos 10:6).
• Adam and Eve – before each other and before
God
– ārȏm - absent of all superior tendency over each
other, no authority, no individual possessions, no
lord or master, etc.
– In fact, Psalm 35:26 places shame on those who
assume power over others.
 Genesis 3:1,7,10: wordplay between
‘ārȗm and ‘ārȏm/ ‘êrȏm - (‫)ערמ‬
• Gen 3:1- The serpent craftiness (ārȗm), which
made him wiser than all living creatures…
negative ārȗm
• Gen 2:25 - ārȏm precedes the mention of the
serpent’s craftiness (ārȗm) in 3:1
• 3:7,10-11 êrȏm, indicates a differentiated
presentation of nakedness
 ‘ārȗm and ‘ārȏm/ ‘êrȏm - (‫)ערמ‬
• The choice of êrȏm in Gen 3:7,10-11 makes clear
the negative connotation of the motif of Satan
ideal of nakedness: - Indications -
ֵ of pride and
– Deut 28:48 - a nakedness ( ‫)ע ֹ֖יר ֹם‬
superiority which leads to shame, to lord over others
or being in control.
– Ezek 16:7, 22,39; 23:29 - In an sense, it is a nakedness
of insecurity, fear and inferiority, which result in
power search, suppression. Hence, control seems to
be an immediate solution in order to create an empire
of self and attention.
 ‘ārȗm and ‘ārȏm/ ‘êrȏm - (‫)ערמ‬
• Satan introduces an êrȏm to the man and the
woman which creates a vacuum of traumatic
implication, ethical imbalances and
brokenness, thereby breaking the covenantal
relationship between God and man, resulting
in a lawless generation against the standard of
righteousness in marriage.
 ‘ārȗm and ‘ārȏm/ ‘êrȏm - (‫)ערמ‬
• Unlike Satan’s êrȏm, the man and his wife was
meant to be ārȏm in:
– collaborative rulership
– to exist in a collaborative communion
– to be in control collaboratively
– and live compatibly in collaborative partnership
 God’s wisdom in contrast values
for understanding the institution of marriage
• The coming together of day and night provide a
complete day of 24 hours.
• The coming together of the sun and moon provide
rulership over the day and night without confusion.
• The light and darkness govern by providing the time of
rest and the time to work.
• The dust of the ground and the breath of God brought
life in existence.
• God the creator and man the creature combine to form
a harmonious covenantal relationship, which lead to
salvation
 God’s wisdom in contrast values
for understanding the institution of marriage
• husband and wife provides the vivid
understanding of oneness through which new
life begins among others, etc.

– AND IT IS ONLY WHEN THE MAN AND WOMAN

COMBINE IN HOLY MATRIMONY THAT THE
CONCEPT OF MARRIAGE IS FORMED.
 Genesis 2:21-23
• Therefore the historical event being narrated in
Genesis 2:21-23, is provided as a guide for the
basis of the contemporary act of marriage
• Verse 24 is introduced by the phrase ‫ ַעל־ ֵכן‬‎('al-
ken, "therefore" or "that is why"), in order to
describe what typically happens,…
• The verb ‫עָ זָב‬‎, 'azab in the imperfect narrative
framework ( an aspect denotes incomplete
action, this time in the past) should be read,
• “this is why a man leaves his father and mother.”
 Genesis 2:21-23
• The process of the marriage is completed by
the introduction of the qal perfect with vav (‫ו‬‎‎)
consecutive to ‫ו ְדָ ַ ַ֣בק‬, "cleaves, a basic idea of
"stick with or to“, which in Genesis describes
an inseparable relationship between the man
and the woman after God’s intention.
 Genesis 2:21-23
• to denote a characteristic behavior in view, (azab)
"to abandon, to forsake, to leave behind, to
discard.“
• Within the context of the ancient Israelite
extended family structure, it emphasized the
change in perspective which overtakes a young
man when his thoughts turn to love and marriage
(Jos 22:3; 1Sa 30:13; Psa 27:10; Pro 2:17; Isa 54:6;
Isa 60:15; Isa 62:4; Jer 49:11)
 Genesis 2:21-23
• ‫בָשָ ר‬‎, basar refers to more than just a sexual
union
– they now bring into being a new family unit, for
they have "become" (‫הָ י ָה‬‎‎+ ‫ ְל‬‎, hayah + lamed) one
flesh unit
– one unit of bone ( ‫עֶ צֶם‬,ֶ֚ ‘esem) and flesh (‫בָשָ ר‬‎,
basar) in blood relation
• The marriage contract miraculously units the man and
his wife into Blood and flesh relationship
 Similar interpretation existed
• Laban and Jacob (‘esem and basar, Gen
29:14);
• Abimelech and Shechemites by virtue of his
mother being Shechemite, (Jdg 9:2);
• David and the Israelites (2 Sam 5:1);
• David and the elders of Judah (2 Sam 19:12);
• and David and Amasa, the son of Abigail, his
sister (2 Sam 19:13; 1Chron 2:16-17).
 Therefore
• the first marriage sets the pattern for how
later marriages are to be understood and
explains according to God’s intention for His
institution.
 Malachi 2:10-17
• the prophet insisted to challenge the
returnees to the reality that God hates
divorce. Malachi reveals that marriage is the
Lord's holy institution, which He loves (Mal
2:11), and that he is the one who created the
contrast of two becoming one ( ‫ )אֶ חָָ֔ ד‬flash
(Mal 2:15)
 Malachi 2:10-17
• Therefore, to God divorce is beyond the
sending away (Mal 2:16). The verb ‫שָ ַ ַ֤לח‬, ṡlh,
which is translated as divorce, conveys a chief
meaning of complete separation

• One may ask, can the human legal order bring

to an end, what God has mysteriously joined
together into a flesh and blood relationship?
 Malachi 2:10-17
• The verb ‫ש ַּ֗ ַלח‬
ַ slh is expressed in the piel
bivalent construction. In this case the subject
is a man seeking to put to an end to the divine
act of God (marriage)
• Slh, in the piel, suggests an act of throwing or
dropping something carelessly with great
force, in this construction, a dismissal of one
wife, under a general power of attorney in civil
matters.
 Malachi 2:10-17
• This usage is an unfriendly one, thus leaving
the victim without a wholesome feeling. The
message of Malachi is in line with other
prophets, connoting that
– divorce humiliates (Deut 21:14),
– it brings shame, bad name and dishonor the
marriage bed (Deut 22:19,29)
– divorce is used as incriminating evidence against
it victim (Isa 3:8; Deut 24:4), etc.
• So the verb ‫שָ נֵא‬‎(sane') appears to be a third person form, "he
hates,“
• Many scholars have written in order to derive a simple
understanding of Malachi 2:16, which has been considered as one
of the difficult passages in scriptures. Many conclusions have been
derived as to the true meaning of the verb ‫שָ נֵא‬

• Whatever these views may be, God views divorce ( ‫)ש ַּ֗ ַלח‬
ַ as an act
of violence against the victim.
– It is like shooting a gun in order to destroy ones enemy.
– It is described as one rapping himself (own flesh) of continuous violence,
– Victim vulnerability is exposed; their garment of dignity, honor and security
is removed.
– They are exposed to the nakedness of self seeking, personal respect,
selfishness, and dominating spirit which leads to shame and inferiority, as it
is with Satan
"A note on the LXX of Malachi 2:16.“
 Malachi 2:10-17
• For this reason the ‫כִּֽי‬in the verse is taken in a
causal sense ("for") as reason to express
God’s stance on the issue of divorce
• Israel is encouraged to take heed to.
• Malachi 2 presents divorce as one of the
protests against broken faith among the
covenant people of God, thereby dealing
treacherously, faithlessly, deceitfully with one
another. Such acts are dead of spirituality
 Ethical Consideration and spiritual
implication
• The ethical system of man comes into conflict
when the rules and principles he is being guided
by (biblical standards) come into conflict with
what seems to him a far greater principle.
• His interpretation of his common sense seems to
suggest that part of the anxiety-filled encounters
by mankind springs from the feeling that
somehow mankind is being pushed around by
circumstances, and that he is not responsible for
his actions, but circumstance
– June Steffensen Hagen, Ethical Reflection
 Ethical Consideration and spiritual
implication
• Man sees self as a centre of judgment,
creating what seems as value to him, thereby
organizing the moral world around his
consciousness of self as his ethical
fundamentum.
– William Werpehowski, "Hearing the divine
command: realism and discernment in Barth's
ethics.“
 Ethical Consideration and spiritual
implication
• Man’s obedience to a divine command such as
marriage is grounded either in accordance
with the immediate circumstances to a
morally arbitrary will or having the freedom to
do as one likes to what seems as a rational
norm to the divine command (Mt 19:8).
• Ibid, 65.
 Ethical Consideration and spiritual
implication
• When these erroneous ethical system comes
into conflict with biblical values and principles,
it becomes ethically right for man to ignore
faithful response to the Word of God about
marriage.
• He rationalizes that there are circumstances in
which it is not only legitimate but obligatory
to see that one's marriage is condemned and
therefore require dissolution.
 Ethical Consideration and spiritual
implication
• Most communities do not evaluate divorce as
unethical ritual practice, which places an
irregular pattern in life’s transition.
• As important as this change of social statue
may be, it takes place in privacy and in
shadows, unlike other rituals…
 Ethical Consideration and spiritual
implication
• Lori Heyman Gordon and Morris Gordon assert that:
• With the exception of the legal profession, it is publicly
ignored, and the emotional and physical consequences
of the change are often denied. The shattering effects
are often privately enacted through short or long term
depression, despair, isolation, jealousy, and
vindictiveness that simmer beneath the surface of
public awareness. There is no tribunal, no clan, no
extended family that can offer needed support, help,
or even judgment when the event is shrouded in
secrecy, privacy, and denial.
 Implication for considerations

• Marriage should be seen as the only or the

best way to a full human life.
• One does not have to be a social scientist to
understand that marriage and family are the
key institutions of individual and collective
lives
– Sidney Callahan, Cornelia. "A psychological
perspective,” 130.
 Implication for considerations
• Unethical principles towards marriage
provides reasons for
– husband and wife to conclude that their
relationship can never meet their needs;
– they are no longer motivated to improve their
relationship; and
– they have become incompatible and have little in
common with each other.
 Implication for considerations
• Bill Flatt, equips divorce to the experience of
death. In divorce,
• there is death of a relationship
• Divorce is that form of grief from which there
are no flowers sent
 Implication for considerations
• Krantzler asserts that when divorce happens,
• a separation shock is created, which can equal in
intensity feelings evoked by the actual death of a
husband or wife, and it sets in motion reactions
similar to those which an actual death can cause.
• The divorced person feels abandoned, alone,
disillusioned, rejected, angry, low, guilty, and
frustrated.
• Overcoming such feelings may take from six
months to two years. The grieving person feels as
if he or she is bleeding inside.
 Implication for considerations
• A frequently feelings of failure, resulting in a
devastating blow to self-worth or self-esteem
as they reflect on the loss of the benefits the
marital union provided, thereby contributing to
a high level of stress.

• "Ethical divorce: a format and a ritual." Reconstructionist 53,

no. 1
•
 Implication for considerations:
Children
• Divorce often use the children against each
other, leading the children to lose faith and
trust, child-mother-father relationship,
sometimes environmental supports, and well
as the pre-divorced children care. When these
happen the children are divided to usually
idealize one parent and depreciate the other.
Flatt, Bill. "Divorce counseling by ministers
 Implication for considerations:
Children
• As a result, much of the responsibilities for
character building are taken over by the
schools and eventually the peers who become
singularly influential during adult years,
hence, leaving the child to fate.
• What seems good (divorce) as an ethical
consideration now destroys in most cases the
self worth of the offspring
– J. K. Davidson and B. N Moore, Marriage and family (Texas,
W.M.C.: Brown Publishers, 1992).
 Implication for considerations:
Children
• Michael K Severe rightly puts it, “all divorces leave
major marks on children, marks that reach all the
way into their core of being”. He further expressed
major challenges post by divorce in the following
words:
• Divorce is not just about political policy, dealing with
social consequences or creating "good divorces."
Divorce is fundamentally a theological issue and
must be addressed. It is the break of community in
which the child's identity rests. It strikes at the heart
of identity, self, being and community.
 Implication for considerations:
Children
• It focuses to the place in which "being" is formed, for
in divorce being has been split, and even destroyed,
because It is fundamentally an attack against the
very being of a child and produces a loss of being. It
forces children to construct themselves through
shattered mirrors, now in different physical and
psychological locations. It is a threat to the child's
very ontology.
– Michael K. Severe, "The children of divorce: the loss of family as the loss of
being." Journal Of Youth Ministry 10, no. 1
 Conclusion
• Most marriages are under attack because they
are built on cultural and societal norms,
subjected to the customary laws of the various
nations of the world, instead of biblical
principles.
• Therefore, it is prudent that a “would be”
couple get acquainted with the reality of the
marriage life before their solemnization in
holy matrimony.
 Conclusion
• Trained and satisfied marriage counselors should be
available at all times to counsel couples with firsthand
knowledge of couple synchronized typology on matter
of:
• character traits and adjustment, cultural/ethnic issues
and differences, sexual expectations, Communication
skills, conflict resolution, financial management,
spiritual beliefs, step parenting expectations, family
and friends, family history, leisure activities, partner
lifestyle and habits, relationship expectations, health
related concerns, etc.
 Conclusion
• Lack of knowledge in these ethical areas stand as
major challenges as they catch up with the
unprepared couple by surprised.
• Marriage is God’s institution and not man’s,
hence, godly principle should inform the ethical
conduct of man in it contract.
• Jesus in all his discourse concerning divorce
pointed his audience back to the foundation of
the marriage institution which was ordained at
creation (Matt 19:8,9)