How to Take a Hurt (Bitter Root) to Jesus

Bobby G. Bodenhamer, D.Min. Edited by L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.

A Story
Samuel came to me for help. Two years prior to this he had broken things off with his
girlfriend that he had dated for five years. She had even wore his engagement ring and
without question, Samuel loved her dearly. What brought him into my office that day?
The day before, he learned of her engagement to another man. And that triggered a
flood of grief that rolled in over his soul. He became so distraught, in fact, that he had to
leave work.

After questioning and some therapy, underneath those surface issues Samuel's real grief
came out. Namely, he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant and then, against his
objections, she aborted the baby. Samuel had gone with her to support her during the
procedure. But now his grief felt overwhelming.

I asked Samuel, "What do you do inside your head to feel this grief and guilt from the
abortion?" Then, through questioning, we discovered that he made a picture of himself
and his girlfriend in the abortion room. He saw this disliked image as if very close and
down to his right.

Now I knew that Samuel deeply loved and respected Jesus, so I asked Samuel to get an
image of Jesus that represented Him in all of His love, forgiveness and acceptance. As he
did, he saw Jesus on the screen of his mind as if straight up and in front of him. This big,
bright clear picture of Jesus loomed before him--obviously an important value in his life.
I then directed Samuel to point toward that image of Jesus with one of his fingers. He
pointed to Jesus with his right index finger. As he did I then directed him to point his left
index finger toward the image of him and his girlfriend in the abortion room. Though he
didn't know why I wanted him to do this, Samuel did it.

After establishing the location of each of these images and pointing to them with his
index fingers, I next directed Samuel to continue to hold his head in the same position
that he held it when he made that internal picture of Jesus. The next step involved
asking him to "move' his image of him and his girlfriend by just using just his eyes. "Just
mentally take that image over there of you and her, which your left hand points to,
and move it here where you see Jesus and give that old disliked and painful image of
that younger you and her to Jesus." In doing this, Samuel shifted his internal image that
made up his memory about his younger self and his girlfriend. He shifted it so that he
now saw it in the exact same position as the image he had of Jesus.

Now while Samuel made this shift, I said, "Jesus loves you, Samuel. He desires more
than anything else to forgive you and receive you unto Himself, both you and your
girlfriend. So allow yourself to begin to let that old image of you and your girlfriend take
the exact form as the image you have of Jesus . . . so that you see it at the same
distance, in the same location, with the same amount of brightness and focus, with the
same amount of color... And as you give your thoughts, these memories, and how you
represent them to Jesus as you give yourself to Jesus, you can begin to forgive
yourself fully, can't you?" As Samuel followed the words and made the internal shifts, I
could see noticeable changes occur in his breathing and in his face.
Then, I directed Samuel to welcome an image of his baby into his mind.... Immediately,
Samuel got this image and as he did, he began to cry. Validating his grief, I asked him
to in like manner, point to your internal location of the baby. He located the baby in his
mind down low and to his right.

I then asked Samuel to move his finger as he shifted the image of his aborted child into
the presence of Jesus. As he did this, I encouraged him with the words, "Jesus says,
'Suffer little children to come unto me for of such is the Kingdom of Heaven.' And now
you can give your baby to Jesus as you put him in the same location, distance,
brightness, focus and color of you have of your internal representations of Jesus, can't
you?"

As Samuel moved the image of his aborted child into the presence of Christ he sobbed
heavily. While he experienced the healing power of the Holy Spirit, I remained quiet to
allow God to do his mighty work of healing in Samuel.

After awhile, Samuel became more quiet and so I asked, "Now, where do you see your
baby?" Immediately, Samuel eyes looked straight up. He pointed toward the location
where previously he had located his representations of Jesus. He said, "I see him with
Jesus." And sure enough, Samuel had the glow of God on his face.

Just How Does a Person "Put the Past Behind"?

How long this all of this therapy take? Two hours. More recently, I received a thank you
note from Samuel informing me that he feels so much better and has finally gotten on
with his life in a healthy and godly way. Nor does this represent an exceptional case.
With Christian after Christian, I have seen the joy of bringing good resolution to old
hurts and clung to resentments.

For twenty years as a minister, I would encourage hurting people to "Give your hurts to
Jesus." To that invitation, many would ask, "Preacher Bob, I don't know how. I want to. I
just don't know how." And true enough, they really did not know how.

At that time I would answer them with a catch-all kind of response, "Just do it by faith."
And while that sounded good at one level, at another I knew that it really did not provide
anybody a step-by-step procedure for how to do it. Now, thanks to the knowledge I have
obtained from Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), I now know how to direct them to
both literally and actually "give their hurts to Jesus."

The scripture that molds my thinking on that arises from the book of Hebrews. There the
writer warned:

"See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause
trouble and defile many." (12:15).

What comprises these "bitter roots?" They consist of traumatic experiences of pain,
distress, disappointment, guilt, etc. That starts the seed of bitterness growing. And
without a good resolution to that trauma, once afflicted, the bitter memories and how
we represent those memories in our minds-and-bodies can keep a person continually
torn up with that pain as much as if the person continued to go through that experience.
And so it grows like a poisonous root. And as it does it makes toxic and bitter more and
more facets of the person's life

Samuel's guilt and grief arose from a very bitter root that had long driven his behavior.
Grief, guilt, bitterness, low self-esteem, co-dependency, sexual compulsions, eating
disorders, etc., indicate bitter roots at work in people's lives. These pains almost always
hark back to some specific event, interaction, or hurt and then continue to grow and
take on a life of their own by the way we internally represent them ("as a man thinks in
his heart...." so he increasingly becomes!).

Yes, a person can love Jesus and live as a devout Christian and still have bitter roots of
hurt and ugliness continue to control one's emotions, states, and behaviors. For that
very reason, the Hebrew writer wrote that we "see to it" that we don't miss out on the
grace of God due to some poisoning, toxifying bitter root. These bitter roots, for the
most part, work unconsciously within us and so often require therapeutic assistance in
uncovering and resolving them. But, once uncovered, the procedure I used with Samuel,
and described below, will work miracles in the life of hurting Christians. I encourage you
therefore to read the following carefully. Read it several times using yourself as the
experimental subject. In it you will learn how to "take a bitter root to Jesus" so that no
bitter root will block your full experience of God's grace.

How the Brain Codes Memories

We often hear people use metaphorical phrases as the following: "I feel pretty dull
today?" "I hear you loud and clear." We all use such metaphorical sayings. Until the
discoveries of NLP, we considered them as "just metaphors," and didn't give them any
importance other than the beauty of expression. However, NLP suggests that we take
such as literal descriptions of the speaker's internal representations (images) for how
that person codes reality. In other words, what we say may indicate what the brain
represents literally. And in NLP, we consider mental codings as the most basic
component of brain functioning in the same way the Bible asserts that "as we think" so
we become (Proverbs 23:7).

In human brains, we process information in three primary ways: through pictures,

sounds, and feelings. In other words, the modes of awareness by which God has enabled
us to see, hear and feel the world also function as our internal modes for "mapping out"
or representing that world. So when the Bible speaks about "the eyes of our heart" (Eph.
1:18) it speaks about our internal vision. And from the field of the neuro-sciences, we
now know that our Creator has built us with a visual cortex for processing sights,
images, pictures, etc. on the inside, an auditory cortex for processing internal sounds,
tones, voices, noise, etc., and a motor cortex for processing internal sensations, feelings,
or kinesthetics.

We use these sensory specific modes (seeing, hearing, feeling) to "re-present" to

ourselves the facts of the world, hence our "representational systems." We also use
words as a way of "thinking" and representing, although words operate at a higher or
meta-level of processing information above ("meta") the sensory levels.

When the brain received information through the eyes, it records it in what we
experience as internal pictures. When the brain receives information through the ears,
the brain record it as sounds and when it receives it kinesthetically (in sensations) it gets
stored as a feeling. This information then shows up as our sensory representations and
describes the components of our "thoughts." To provide you some hands-on experience
with this understanding, do the following.

1) What do you find "pleasant?" Recall a pleasant experience you have had. You do have
a picture of it, don't you? Good, now check for the following qualities or properties of
your visual picture and write them down:

 Do you see the picture in color or black and white?

  Do you see the picture as three dimensional or flat like a photograph?
 Do you see yourself in the picture or do you look out as if through your own eyes
(dissociated/ associated)?
 Does the picture have a frame around it or does it seem panoramic?
 Do you see it as a movie or a still picture?
 Do you see the picture far off or does it seem close?
 Do you see it as bright, or dark, or in between?
 Do you see it as in focus or out of focus?
 Where do you see the picture located?
 Up to your left?
 In front of you?

You have now accessed and identified facets of your visual images that, for the most
part, remain unconscious. It describes your internal coding of information--how you
represent things to yourself. Excellent. Now for step two.

2) Next, what do you think of as an unpleasant memory? As you allow an image of an

unpleasant memory to come to mind, you can again, note the visual components that
make it up, and write down the mental codings of that memory. Go through the same
list as above.

3) Once you have done that, then notice the distinctions between how you mentally code
the pleasant and the unpleasant memories. You will find differences. How your brain
codes those differences creates the difference that you feel and recognize.

4) The next step involves shifting your unpleasant memory so that it takes on the same
location as your pleasant memory. As you shift the unpleasant memory to the same
location as the pleasant memory, allow all of the other mental codings of the unpleasant
memory (size, brightness, closeness, etc.) to become similar to your pleasant memory.
In other words, you will signal your brain (so to speak) to represent the unpleasant
memory with how you represent the pleasant memory. Once you have done that, take a
moment and experience it fully... Even though the content of the unpleasant memory
remains the same, I think that you will notice that your feelings about that memory
becoming, strangely, more pleasant, do you not? How can that occur?

It occurs because the human brain determines the parameters of our experiences by
these mental codings and most importantly by the higher word meanings we give those
codings. In moving the content of the unpleasant memory into the codings that you code
something that you have placed the meaning to as being pleasant, you "activate" the
higher level meaning of pleasant. Now, if you choose to not to make that unpleasant
memory mean pleasant, your brain will automatically switch it back into the codings of
an unpleasant memory.

The word meaning determines the codings and not vice versa. When you give an image
that you have placed the meaning to of hurt, guilt, anger, etc. into the codings of an
image that you have given the meanings of our Lord to like love, forgiveness, total
acceptance, etc then that old bitter root will change to the meaning you have given to
the codings of your image of Jesus. You have activated a higher level frame of
reference or image that has the higher meanings of Jesus. And, it will stay that way if
you are ready to let the hurt go.

As our brain codes and represents experiences, it generates emotions and beliefs.
Regardless of your theological persuasion, this suggests that we should literally interpret
Proverbs 23:7a, "For as he thinks within himself, so he is." In this passage the proverbial
writer expressed a universal truth about how human brains process information
(memories, beliefs, etc.). And, these mental codings with the higher level word
meanings, in turn, determine our behavior.

In understanding this model, let's review the difference between two basic levels of
thought. The first level we call the level of the Primary State. The Primary States of
consciousness define those everyday states of consciousness wherein we experience
thought-and-feelings "about" something in the world "beyond" or "outside" our nervous
system. In these states our thoughts relate to things "out there" and our bodies experience
the primary emotions like fear-anger, relaxation-tension, glad-mad, attraction-aversion,
etc.

The second level of thought refers to those abstract states of thought that Michael calls
Meta-states. Meta-states of consciousness define those thoughts about thoughts, feelings
about feelings and states about states. Here our thoughts-and-emotions relate to and
"about" the world "inside" ourselves. We can hate our hatred and minimize and/or
eliminate our hatred. We can bring faith to bear on fear and eliminate fear. Thus, as
Gregory Bateson has said, higher level thoughts modulate lower level thoughts (Steps to
an Ecology of Mind). By the process of Meta-stating ourselves, that is, bringing one thought
to bear on another thought, we can increase a state as fearing our fear, minimize a state
or even eliminate a state. When we really get tired of hating someone or something and
then start hating our hatred, we may hate our old hatred right out of existence. What
happens when you bring forgiveness to bear on your bitterness? What happens when you
bring forgiveness to bear on your guilt? What happens when you bring appreciation to
bear on frustration? Anger? Guilt? Sadness? Try it, you might like it.

Now, when we take an old image of hurt, bitterness, pain, etc to Jesus, we move that old
image from some lower level to a much higher level namely, Jesus. You can bring Jesus
to bear on the problem or you can move the image "up" to Jesus. Either way, you are
activating a higher level frame that eliminates the bitter root. And, always, higher levels
modulate or change lower levels. And, Jesus sure does change lower level hurts, doesn't
He? He lives in your mind and heart at a much higher level than those old hurts from
years ago. And, by moving that image of hurt into the codings of Jesus, you activate that
higher level meaning you have given to Jesus and he "evaporates" away the hurt for
"Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world."

You have just experienced a brief course on the art of "running your own brain"--that
bio-computer between your ears that creates your subjective realities. When people
program mechanical computers, they have to know the "programming language." Well,
the programming language that God built into the human brain ingenuously uses the
sensory system of the senses that he built into the body andthe transcendental system
he built into the mind--words. How true indeed that he has marvelously and wonderfully
made us (Psalm 139:14). And those higher level word meanings we have given to
Jesus will evaporate any bitter root for He is GREATER!

Taking a Bitter Root to Jesus

All of our negative memories come coded in some unique mental codings of each person.
Christians who have "Jesus" (their images, understandings, representations of Jesus)
coded in their minds have their own unique system of making that internal
representation.

1) First, take one of your fingers (or if you use this to assist someone else to make these
transformations of the heart, they have them take one of their fingers) and point to
where you see yourself (and/or someone else) in the painful memory or "bitter root."
You will point to that memory and identify its location. Now, point with the other hand at
the location of Jesus.
2) Next, only move your eyes, but not your head, so that you move the image of the
hurt or the "bitter root" so that it shifts to the same location that you have of Jesus. As
you do this, move your hand as you make this shift. As you move the image of the hurt
into the same location of Jesus, turn the image of the hurt into the same codings that
you have for Jesus. As you do, say something like this to yourself, "Now, as I give this
person to Jesus, I will notice how Jesus receives that person unto Himself fully and
completely. And I allow that person in my mind to begin to look just like Jesus in terms
of having the same location, brightness, color, etc."

De-Briefing The Process

I regularly observe people undergo tremendous spiritual changes through this process.
People have said such things as: "That five year old girl (or boy) in me just got saved."
Or, "I have been trying for years to give that person to the Lord. Now, I have done it."
This neurological procedure allows a client to give their "bitter roots" to Jesus. When a
Christian makes this transition--hatred and bitterness disappear. How can one hold
bitterness and hatred when they see the formerly hated person with Jesus? God has
blessed this procedure magnificently. How joyous to observe people once they have
given old "bitter roots" to Jesus!

Several factors take place in this procedure. First, you utilize the healing power of the
Holy Spirit, i.e., Jesus indwelling the Christian. Second, the truth of the Word of God,
and the individual Christian's belief in that Word, become actualized as you quote
pertinent passages that direct yourself or another to give the "bitter root" to Jesus. The
techniques of NLP simply provide the conduits for the healing power of the Holy Spirit.

Third, you utilize not only your belief in the Lord, but also all the resources gathered
from having lived a life of faith. Often I have clients share with me how the Holy Spirit
will bring to their memory specific spiritual experiences or passages of scripture during
this procedure.

Fourth, you cooperate with God's creative process as you work with the neurological
processes of the human mind in directing yourself to change the mental codings and
word meanings of the "bitter root" into the mental codings of Jesus and higher level
word meanings you have about Jesus.

Fifth, by placing the content of a bitter root image into the image of Jesus/God, one is
meta-stating the lower image of the hurt with the higher frame of the image of
Jesus/God. The more powerful (meta-level) structure of the image of Jesus/God will
modulate/change/over power the image of the hurt. A person who holds faith in the
Lord Jesus cannot hold any kind of a bitter root in His presence. The Lord will win every
time.

©1997-2002 Bobby G. Bodenhamer, D.Min. Edited by L. Michael Hall, Ph.D. All rights
reserved.