COMPLIMENTARY

SEPTEMBER 2019, VOL. 17 ISSUE 9

SEE PAGE 24
 Come and Join the Fun at the Bend!

Retirement-A New Beginning

Thinking about retirement? Already retired? Are you prepared for what can be the best time of your life?
Join us for a Free Lunch-n-Learn to talk about your changing needs, the professionals you may want to consult, and your real estate options.
Retirement is a life changing journey. Maximize the experience by increasing your knowledge and planning.

Silent Auction Fundraiser Benefiting Alzheimer's Services of the Capital Area

When: September 18, 12:00PM

Join Francois Bend Senior Living and Always Best Care Senior Services of Baton Rouge as we host a silent auction fundraiser
benefiting the Alzheimer's Services of the Capital Area!
Auction items include a Party Pack from Veron's Smoke Sausage, a surprise piece by Laiche's Woodworks, handcrafted jewelry, gift cards
from local restaurants, and so much more! Can't make it to the auction? Don't worry! All items will be available for viewing AND
bidding on Always Care Senior Services of Baton Rouge's Facebook page the day of the auction!
When: Wednesday, September 25 • 2:00 PM-7:00 PM • What: Silent Auction Fundraiser

TGILive With Don Rich

Stop by Francois Bend for TGILive! Enjoy dinner while listening to the musical stylings of Mr. Don Rich.
When: Friday, September 20 6:00 PM • What: TGILive With Don Rich
Cost: $7 per dinner • Dinner service from 4:30 pm - 6:30 pm

Health Fair and Blood Drive

October 23 • 9am - 2pm
This free event is for seniors, caregivers and healthcare workers featuring health screenings, demonstrations, fun activities
and health information.

Fall Specials going on now!

Come by for a tour, Spin the Wheel and win Big!! Call Amanda today to setup
your tour and to find out more about the Fall Specials.

For more information call

225.647.2363

326 East Industry St., Gonzales, LA 70737 • FrancoisBend.com

INDEPENDENT • ASSISTED LIVING • MEMORY CARE COMMUNITY
 Publisher / Editor
Mike Strong
Table of Contents
DREAMS COME TRUE.............. 4
Sales Manager
GONZALES GARDEN CLUB .... 8
Dottie Godberry
Staff Photographer SWEET EYES W/ TANYA...........12

Jimmy Dunkley TONY BACALA .................................24 FOR MORE INFORMATION

225.622.3262
BILL DELAUNE.......................... 30 www.riverparishfoods.com

Contributing Writers
JAMMIN’ WITH GOOSIE......... 32
Bill Delaune
THOUGHTS FROM BULLY......34
Linda Melancon
SNO’S RECIPE........................... 45
Bully
On the Cover: Paid for by
Tony Bacala Campaign
Goosie Guice

#89
Orhan McMillan
Kellie Seymour
Tanya Stilley
Jimmy Dunkley
Patti Mouton
Jamie Lavigne
Andre’ Brock
Mariah Simoneaux

For Advertising
Information Please call:
225-622-1324

E-Mail Comments
to Stronggraphics1@cox.net
www.ascensionmagazine.net

Note: Features in this

publication labeled
“advertorial”
are paid for editorials.
All Rights Reserved.
Opinions expressed are not
necessarily those of the
publisher, editor or staff of
Ascension Magazine
ELECTION DAY October 12, 2019 • EARLY VOTING September 28 - October 5 (Closed Sunday)

18386 Little Prairie Rd.

Prairieville, LA 70769

Feel free to contact me: E-mail demplambert@eatel.net • cell 225.715.0680 • 225.622.2703

3
DREAMS COME TRUE DANCE
Dreams Come True of Louisiana
held its 23rd Annual Na Na Sha
Dance at Lamar Dixon Expo. When
preparing for an event you have no
idea what the out come will be. We
are humbled by community support
each and every year.
Na Na Sha was outstanding, as
usual and our supporters danced all
night long. Heart warming stories
were passed along and the parish
gave their all.
Every year the Iron Warriors puts
on their event “Blessings of the
Bikes” and Dreams Come True is
their chosen charity and gives
a nice donation.

4
5

The Jambalaya Festival
Association organized and
cooked their World Class
Jambalaya.
Dreams Come True extends
our warmest and most grateful
thanks to everyone who was
involved for making the night
so successful.
2019 Annual Na Na Sha
Dance Special Sponsors
Bill & Mary Lee Dixon
Lamar Dixon Foundation
Iron Warriors Motorcycle
Club
Side Arms Motorcycle Club
Steve Laurie Silver Sponsorship
Hi-Nabor Grocery
Robert "Bobby" Webre
Dream Sponsorship Robert "Bobby" Webre
Campaign
Tim Braud - Braud Welding Kim Johnson
& Industrial Supply Almight Storage
Bob Sanders - Pilot Specialty Rose Hudson
Group, LLC Louisiana Lottery
Jay Himmel - Himmel's Jeffry Mohr
Architectural Door LLC Lewis Mohr Real Estate
Richard Shread
Gold Sponsorship Shread-Kuyrkendall & Assoc.
Johnny Berthelot
Jack & Becky Harris Johnny Berthelot Campaign
VIP International INC Glen Guitreau
Barney Arceneaux Guitreau General
Mayor Barney Arceneaux Contractors LLC
Oak Point Fresh Market
6
Darnell Browning
Darnell Browning Insurance
Sheri Garrison
Garrison Construction Co.
Donations
Risley Triche
Law Offices of Risley Triche
Steve Wesley
Wesley Construction Co,INC
Paula Daigle
Memories by Paula
Denny Lacombe
Service Lumber & Supply
 Vicki Prejeant Steve Laurie
Service Mortgage Company Hi-Nabor Supermarket
LeBlanc Brothers Ready-Mix Ricky & Florette Blanchard
Waguespack, Gallagher & Johnette Mauldin
Barber Pelican State Bank
Roy Torres Wally Gaudet
R&C Rental Properties Kona Ice
Frito Lay
Community Coffee
IN-KIND DONORS Roy's Ice
Wally Taillon Spanky's Daiquiri's
Jambalaya Association Grayling Kraemer - Rouses

#96

Reliable • Dedicated • Effective

Leadership Election Day
Sat. Oct 12
Parish Council - District 10 - 2016 - Present

Early Voting
Gonzales City Council - 2008 - 2012 - Assistant Treasurer

Devoted to Progress
Sept 28 - Oct 5th
Board of Directors - Ascension Economic Development Corporation
Ascension Chamber of Commerce- Chairman 2008

Integrity
Military - U.S. Air Force, Officer and Vietnam Era Veteran

Committed to Community
• Active Member of St. Theresa of Avila Catholic Church

Results
• Married for 48 years to Pam Bates Cagnolatti

Voted in support of
Traffic Impact Fees
Move Ascension Program
Drainage Improvements & Maintenance Program
Home: 225-644-5273 / Cell: 225-333-2498 / jjcag@eatel.net
7
 Hosting the garden club meeting from left are Gail Lonibos, Patti Mouton, Mabel Savoy, Lorraine Member Conchita Richey provided this educational exhibit of
Gautreau, Loretta Ramirez and Rita Bourque (and Janis Poche, not pictured). Louisiana native plants.

A New Year Begins for the Gonzales Garden Club

The opener of the 2019-2020
season of the Gonzales Garden
Club was held at Patti Mouton’s
Prairieville home on September
4. Her den was packed with 21
active members, four associate
members and two guests. The
program, “Garden Club Goes
Native”, was developed to
inspire members to focus on
Louisiana native plants in their
upcoming club projects and
garden activities in conjunction
with National Garden Club goals
and objectives.
Member Mary Jo Pohlig portrayed the
undesirable effects of non-native plants
on the environment.
Member Barbara McCormick explained
the benefits of growing native plants in
the garden.
pork and sausage jambalaya for
the occasion. Hostesses Patti
Mouton, Janis Poche, Loretta
Ramirez, Lorraine Gautreau,
Rita Bourque, Mabel Savoy and
Gail Lonibos provided white
beans, string beans, tossed
green salad and rolls. The meal
ended with brownies, lemon
squares and pineapple cake
served as dessert choices
with coffee.
The Gonzales Garden Club is
federated by National Garden Clubs, Inc.

suckle, maidenhair fern, little with a look

The meeting’s program featured gem magnolia, beautyberry and forward to a
a light-hearted skit comparing live oak. Popular plants program on fall
native to non-native plants, an identified as non-native were gardens for the
educational exhibit of native crape myrtle, water hyacinth, club’s October
plant photos labeled for elephant ears, azaleas, pansies meeting.
identification, and floral and yellow flag irises.
arrangements created with Snacks of
native plants from members’ The business meeting spinach dip,
home gardens. Member Mary addressed changes for the cheeses and
Jo Pohlig also presented coming year. After recognizing crackers were
televised photos of common the new terms for club officers, served with
plants asking the crowd to discussing associate member mimosas prior to All floral material in Conchita Richey’s arrangement are native plants
identify each plant as native or guidelines and hearing commit- the meeting’s call from her home garden. She used palmetto, magnolia seed pods,
non-native. The native plants tee reports, President Jamie to order. Rick
coral honeysuckle foliage, Louisiana iris foliage, deciduous holly
”finch’s gold”, French mulberry, oakleaf hydrangea and purple
depicted were coral honey- Trisler adjourned the meeting Mouton cooked a coneflowers to create this horizontal design.

Jamie Trisler used one of her antique milk glass vessels
to support her arrangement of hot pink carnations, rose
pink asters, pom pom mums and baby’s breath with
asparagus fern accents.
This arrangement by Barbara McCormick is made of flowers
from her home garden: white shrimp, gomphrena, zinnias,
autumn fern, cutleaf coneflower, rudbeckia, salvia, and coral
honeysuckle. Notice the Louisiana embroidery and
alligator figure.
Weezie Cashat’s dramatic floral arrangement was made of
hibiscus blooms and camellia greenery from her patio flower
beds.

8
 Get
Growing,
of thumb is to cut the bush back
about one foot shorter than the
desired height. If you want your
Mariah Simoneaux is the
Horticulture Agent serving
Ascension and Assumption

Ascension!
rose bush to continue to fill in a
space or form a screen a light
pruning is all that may be required.
There is no need to deadhead your
Knock Out roses, but this can be
done for a tidier look.
Parishes. For more information
contact Mariah at MJSi-
moneaux@agcenter.LSU.edu or
visit the LSU AgCenter website at
www.LSUAgCenter.com.

Tend to your
Knock Out
Roses this Fall
Pruning is a chore you might not
think much about. Normally we
prune as a way to control the size
of a plant. When tree branches get
a little too close to the house or
hedges begin to get a little too tall
we cut them back. However,
pruning at the right time can also
stimulate vigorous new growth,
increase flower production, and
keep plants looking full and
shapely.
Knock Out roses, like other
everblooming roses, greatly benefit
from two major prunings each year.
The first of the major prunings
should be done in late January to
mid-February. This is the most
drastic of the prunings, up to
two-thirds of the bush may be
removed if needed. The second of
the major prunings should be
completed late August into early
September. This fall pruning is not
near as severe as the first, and
Mariah Simoneaux
generally bushes are only cut back
about one-third of their original
height. Apply a general-purpose or
rose-specific fertilizer to your Knock
Out roses after the fall pruning.
A sharp pair of bypass-type hand
pruners can be used to make most
of your cuts. Cuts should be made
at an angle slightly above the
nearest bud. Loppers may be
required for some larger branches.
Dead and damaged branches can
be removed anytime throughout the Knock Out roses are known for Photo caption – Knock Out roses
year. Wear sturdy leather gloves their season long blooms. They produce an abundance of blooms.
and long sleeves while working are available in a variety of colors, Photo by Dr. Allen Owings.
because the thorns on Knock Out such as cherry red, bright pink, light
roses can leave you with painful pink, coral and white, and are
punctures and scratches. widely available at most garden
centers and nurseries. Add them to
In the right growing conditions your landscape in late winter or
Knock Out rose bushes can reach early spring so that bushes can get
up to six feet tall and six feet wide. established before beginning to
If the size of your Knock Out roses bloom.
has become an issue, a good rule

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9

Cheryl Malbrough
Platform
Irresponsible
Development:
1511 residential lots in
17 subdivision have been
approved within a mile of Hwy
42 which could not handle
traffic four years ago.
How many tons of fill have
been added to raise those
subdivisions, pushing more
and more water on your
house? It must stop.
Drainage:
Why is it that maintenance
efforts only happen during
Election Year? We’re going
to clean out those ditches
and canals; and keep them
clean as part of a regular
maintenance program.
Traffic:
We cannot continue adding
residents/cars to our roads
without ensuring developers
build road infrastructure with
their subdivisions. With
existing funds (no new tax)
we can move traffic by
adding strategically placed
turn lanes, improving key
intersections.
• Graduated from EA Academy. Attended LSU
• Retired from DEMCO, Marketing
& Member Services Dept.
• Former member of EA Rotary,
Ascension Chamber of Commerce
• Member of St. Mark’s Catholic Church
Recreation:
Lamar Dixon is not the only
facility in our parish. Focus
some of the recreation budget
to upgrade, then maintain our
local parks. We’ll formulate a
better plan including your
input to deliver recreation for
families to enjoy.
About Cheryl
I am running for Parish
Council, District 5 in the
election scheduled for
October 12. Like all of you,
I am frustrated by daily traffic
jams; I am tired of worrying
about flooding every time we
get a heavy rain. There are
common sense solutions that
I will pursue as your District 5
representative.
First and foremost, we
must apply the brakes to
irresponsible subdivision
development which only
worsens those problems.
I grew up in Ascension Parish,
the Galvez area to be precise,
where I’ve spent most of my
life. After a brief period
residing in Baton Rouge,
I returned to the place I’ve
always called home. That
was two decades ago, just
# 90
before the development mitigate ever-worsening
boom transformed northeast traffic. Allowing unlimited
Ascension Parish into fill material has altered the
suburbia. floodplain, pushing water
onto existing residents.
As an employee of DEMCO
(I retired from the Marketing & As your District 5
Member Services Department Councilwoman I will always
in 2015) I got a close-up view put your interests first. I
of that transformation. As a humbly ask for your vote.
retiree, I will be a full-time
representative Unfortunately,
Together we can make
District 5 great again!
our elected parish council
failed to prepare for the
population explosion we all
knew was coming.
For too long
developers have
not been held
accountable,
never required
to make
meaningful
infrastructure
investments.
Requiring turn
lanes to be
built, or traffic
control devices
installed would
have done
wonders to

Revitalizing your
business with
Google Analytics
by Orhan Mc Millan
dezinsINTERACTIVE
Google Analytics is a web
analytics service that helps users
digest their website traffic,
allowing them to nail down and
better understand their target
market. This tool, proving to be
invaluable for small businesses,
provides business owners with
insights on who visits, shops and
buys from their site. With the
click of a button, Google Analytics
can assist you in revitalizing your
business. Below, we have
summarized a number of features
that you’ll want to utilize.
● Ecommerce Tracking
This tool allows users to see
where they’re attracting their
most profitable customers.
Understanding where traffic is
coming from can help you adjust
your campaigns accordingly and
also enables you to begin driving
traffic from other sources. This
information can not only help you
decide where to spend your time,
but also how to divide your
marketing budget.
● Audience Reports
Know your users. This tool gives
you direct, actionable insights, in-
cluding demographics, geoloca-
tions, interests and key browsing
behaviors.
● Goals
Small business owners may want
to track the number of visits a
URL receives or the amount of
time customers spend on their
site. This is all possible through
Google Analytics and by setting a
goal number, users are able to see
how close they get to meeting or
exceeding their goals.
● Site Search
This feature compiles a list of
keywords customers used when
searching on the site. With this
information, you’ll be able to
know exactly what people are
looking for and what they’re
having trouble finding.
● Flow Visualization
With this tool, you can view
every single step that visitors
took as they explored your site.
This enables you to better
understand how they’re engaging
with your content and where you
may lose them along the way.
● SEO Reports via
Google Webmaster Tools
These reports allow you to see
how well you perform within
Google’s search rankings. Business
owners will be shown which
keywords give them the most
impressions, their click through
rates and their rankings for
individual keywords.
If you’d like more information
about Google Analytics, email
info@dezinsinteractive.com. Our
team of creatives would love to
give you a free analysis on your
website and digital marketing.

Final Finds
for Fiji
Hello Ascension Parish! Just a
few more days before I set off to
solidify my nuptials, and if
you’ve been ready, I’ve been on
a mission to pack only mission
critical makeup for the wedding
and honeymoon on the beach in
Fiji. Here are a few items I’ve
tried and tested to see if they
would make the cut…and
they did!
1) Nars -
Satin Lip Stick in
Sexual Healing
This ultra-light iridescent
rose-colored lip stick gives a
fresh feminine finish to lips.
This lipstick that is made with
passion fruit seed and moringa
oils hydrates the lips for a light
hold and hydrating sensation.
Perfect for that wedding day
pucker. I’ll likely have to
reapply every couple of hours,
12
but I have a long-lasting lip
liner to still pack some color
when this satin color wears
through the evening.
$26.00 - Available at nars.com
2) It Cosmetics -
Your Lips but Better
in Pretty in Pink
As suggested by a precious
makeup advisor at Ulta, this is a
powerful three-fold lip liner, lip
primer, and lip stain in one!
Perfect for a long day when you
need long lasting lip color.
This liner is super smooth and
can be worn alone but is even
better when layered with a
gloss or a lip stick.
$20.00 – Available at Ulta.com
3) Mehron –
Barrier Spray
This makeup line was made
and used for stage and movie
settings, which means it will
provide me all day staying
power in the humidity of Fiji.
This setting spray smells like it’s
heavy on the alcohol but it
doesn’t matter, it’s got a few
more powerful ingredients that
makes my makeup budge proof.
What’s better is that I found
this 1 oz travel size bottle for a
steal off eBay.
$10.99 – Available on eBay
These three items are my final
selections for my upcoming
wedding and honeymoon.
Wishing you the best this
September Ascension Parish.
Xoxo-Sweet Eyes
13
14
 Pictured is:
Lt. Tony Tureau, Lt. Col.
Mike Toney, Lt. Col. Donald
Capello, Tony Burton,
Sheriff Webre, Major Laura
Gremillion, Lt. Col. Cody
Melancon, and
Lt. Col. Paul Hall.

worthy causes.
He has helped rise over
$10,000 for different causes in
the Ascension area, including
for children and youth stricken
with illnesses and injuries, a
women’s sobriety house, a
veteran’s rehabilitation facility,
and programs that assist in
suicide prevention.
Tony has been married to
his wife Rebecca for 21 years,
and together, they have five

Sheriff Bobby Webre names

children: Holli, Anna, Chad,
because of Tony Burton.” Matthew, and Joseph.

Tony Burton Honorary Sheriff

Tony works in the insurance “I want to thank Tony for the
and financial services industry.

for the month of August

Ascension Parish Sheriff
Bobby Webre named Tony
Burton as Honorary Sheriff for
the month of August.
“Tony is a truly selfless
individual. He is the model of
service to those in our commu-
nity most in need: the sick, the
injured, those struggling with
addiction and despair,” said
Sheriff Webre. “Ascension
Parish is a better place
He is a volunteer instructor in
religious education to high
school students. In 2019, he
began organizing and hosting
“Cruisin 4 Causes,” a car
show/cruise every third
Saturday of the month at
Cabela’s in Gonzales where
money is raised for various
work he does to help those in
our community and encourage
others to join his efforts to
impact the lives of our
neighbors in positive ways,”
added Sheriff Webre.

Eric Lambert
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15
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 GRANDPARENTS DAY 2019

Our PreK and Kindergarten students enjoyed lunch with their

grandparents or special relatives. After lunch, our visitors
were invited to the classroom where our little Eagles sang,
“You Are My Sunshine” and gave them a tour of their classroom.

Upcoming Events:
Fall Break October 14 – 15
Parent Teacher Conference October 21
Thanksgiving Break – November 25th to 29th

DPT is Proud to Support

Our Local Schools

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16
FINANCIAL FOCUS
What Can a
Financial
Advisor Do
for You?
What does investing mean to
you? If the word makes you think
of transactions – buying or selling
stocks and bonds – you’re looking
at just part of the picture. To work
toward all your goals, such as a
comfortable retirement, you need
a comprehensive financial
strategy. And for that, you might
need to work with a personal
financial advisor. But what,
specifically, can this type of
professional do for you?
Here are some of the key
services a financial advisor
can provide:
• Help you invest for your
retirement – An experienced
financial advisor can look at all
the relevant factors – your current
and projected income, age at
which you’d like to retire, desired
retirement lifestyle – to help you
determine how much you need to
invest, and in which investment
vehicles, to help you reach your
retirement goals. To cite just one
example, a financial advisor can
review your employer-sponsored
retirement plan and help you
determine how to use it to your
greatest advantage.
• Help you save for college –
Higher education is expensive,
and costs are rising every year. If
you’d like to help your children –
or grandchildren – go to college
someday, you need to save and
invest early and often. A financial
advisor can suggest appropriate
college savings vehicles and
strategies.
Jamie Lavigne, Financial Advisor
4600 Sherwood Common Blvd, #103 • Baton Rouge, LA 70806-6609 • 225.292.4971 (O)
1 3 0 5 3 H W Y. 4 3 1 • S T. A M A N T
• Help make sure you’re
well-protected – If something
were to happen to you, could your
family maintain its standard of
living? Or if you someday needed
some type of long-term care, such
as an extended stay in a nursing
home, would you be able to
maintain your financial
independence, or would you be
forced to rely on your adult
children for help? A financial
advisor can recommend and
possibly provide suitable
protection products and
services for your needs.
FIRESTONE BRIDGSTONE CREDIT CARDS
• Help you adjust your financial
strategy – Not much will stay
constant in your life – and that
ACCEPTED AND AVAILABLE AT BIGGEAUX’S
includes your financial strategy.
Any number of events – a new
child, a new job, a new retirement
destination – can cause you to
adjust your investment moves,
as will some of the factors
influencing the financial markets –
economic downturns, changing State-of-the-Art
interest rates, new tax laws, and
more. A financial advisor can help
Equipment
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and sometimes encourage you
Front End
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Alignments
his or her professional opinion,
NOW STOCKING: ANCO WIPERS,
you might be tempted to
overreact to some event or other.
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While a financial advisor can help
you in many ways, you’ll need,
above all else, to feel comfortable
with whomever you choose.
Ultimately, you’ll want to pick
someone who understands what’s
important to you, and who will
follow an established process to
create personalized strategies
and recommend specific actions
needed to help achieve your
goals. And you’ll want someone
who will be with you in the long 24 Hr. Emergency Roadside Service
run – someone who will revisit
your objectives and risk tolerance
and who can adjust your
strategies in response to
changes in your life.
A financial advisor can make a big
difference in your life. So, work
diligently to find the right one –
and take full advantage of the
help you’ll receive as you move
toward your important goals.
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17
18
19
 YOUR ESTATE MATTERS
By Linda Melancon
A Living
Will Primer
Living wills are among the least
understood of all estate planning
documents that I encounter in my
law practice. The misunderstanding
We are Growing to Fulfill Your
extends to even health care
Full Service Salon Needs
professionals who see the documents
on a regular basis. There could be
several reasons for the misunderstand-
ing. First, since "will" is in the name,
622.5085 many people confuse living wills with
44253 Hwy. 42 ( 1 m i l e f r o m P o r t V i n c e n t )
regular wills which pass your property
to your loved ones at death. Another
reason for confusion is that living wills
are often called by another name:
advance directives. Although a living
I’ve got your
will is a type of advance directive, that
term refers to other health care plan-
back, Thumper!
ning documents, too. Living wills are
often confused with health care
powers of attorney, documents that
also deal with health care decisions,
but are broader than living wills
because they appoint someone to
make all health care decisions for you
and not just end of life decisions.
Finally, living wills are often confused
with “do not resuscitate” orders –
I’ve got
which they are not.
yours too
So, if a living will is not these things,
Boudreaux!
exactly what is it? In Louisiana, the
law recognizes the right of a person to
refuse medical care and to declare in
advance of a circumstance when they
may not be able to make or communi-
cate that decision themselves. A living
will instructs your physician regarding
the circumstances in which you want
to have life-sustaining procedures
withheld or withdrawn. So, in short, a
living will is to be used when you have
been diagnosed as having a terminal
and irreversible condition and you
cannot communicate to your health
care provider whether to withhold
or withdraw certain life-sustaining
A SCENSION PA RISH procedures.
A N I M A L H O S P I TA L A living will ensures your personal
dignity and your fundamental right to
control your own medical care are
225.744.4905 respected even after you are no longer
able to actively participate in the
20
decision-making process. Therefore,
when you create a living will, you
should discuss with your loved ones
and your health care providers what
your wishes are. You should also
provide a copy of your living will to
your loved ones and your health
care providers.
The Louisiana Secretary of State’s
office provides a registry where you
can file your living will so that it will
be available if needed. There is a $20
charge for this service. When that
office receives your living will, they
will return a wallet card and a “do not
resuscitate” bracelet to you. The
providing of this bracelet could be the
source of confusion between a living
will and a “do not resuscitate” order.
A “do not resuscitate” order only
applies if you have heart failure or
respiratory arrest and it instructs your
health care providers not to administer
CPR. A living will, on the other
hand, applies to all life sustaining
procedures, not just CPR, and it deals
with all conditions, not just heart
failure or respiratory arrest. A DNR
order is written by a doctor upon your
request or upon finding that the
conditions are met where your living
will has become effective. That is, that
you have a terminal and irreversible
condition and there’s no reasonable
chance of recovery. Therefore, you
should not wear the DNR bracelet
from the Secretary of State’s office un-
less you do not want to receive CPR.
Other commercial services provide
online storage for your living will and
other health care documents.
As you can see, a living will is an
important part of your estate plan as it
deals with your wishes in the specific
situation where you are unable to
communicate your wishes about end
of life decisions. The living will, along
with other advance directives for
health care should be a part of your
estate plan. To ensure you and your
loved ones have the right documents
to deal with all situations that
might arise, you should consult with
an experienced estate planning or
elder law attorney.
The information provided is not intended to
be legal advice and does not constitute an
attorney/client relationship. You should consult
with an attorney for individual advice regarding
your own situation.
Ms. Melancon is an attorney with Legacy
Estate & Elder Law of Louisiana, LLC, with
offices in Baton Rouge, LA and Prairieville,
LA. The primary focus of her practice is
estate planning, probate, special needs
planning and elder law. For more
information or to attend an upcoming
estate planning seminar, call her office at
(225) 744-0027
Now Taking Homecoming Dinner
Reservations. Get Them Early!!

All Our Schools

are Welcome!
We have 8 Hibachi Grills
for Every Occasion!
School’s Back! Homework! No Problem!
Kids Eat Free, Wednesdays!
Ichiban Gonzales has a big deal going on!!!! Starting now,
every Wednesday. Kids 12 and under eat free. *
Your choice of Grilled Chicken, Grilled Steak or Fried Catfish.
Comes with Onion Rings, Edamame, Fried Rice, sliced fruit and
$5 Action Card to Premier Lanes.
Please come in to check out and enjoy the night with your kids.

* Only children 12 and

under, only 2 children
per adult, adult must
purchase entrees
not valid with any

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coupons accepted

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ASCENSION
MAGAZINE

217 N. Airline Hwy. • Gonzales, La 70737 • 225-647-2266

21

Publishers Note:
Ascension Magazine is going
chronicle the travels of the
Jambalaya Festival Queen
Tara Babin as she represents
our community.
June 15, Louisiana
Strawberry Pageant
Just one week after being
crowned Miss Gonzales
Jambalaya, I sat in awe as I
traveled to my first appearance
as the new queen. I could not
believe that I was actually
given the opportunity to
Traveling with Tara
represent something that
means so much to me. On
June 15th, I traveled to my first
event in Ponchatoula for the
Louisiana Strawberry Pageant.
We celebrated the outgoing
queen and the amazing job
she had done, and we
welcomed the 49th Louisiana
Strawberry Queen into this
amazing sisterhood we like to
call the “Rhinestone Sisters”.
This event was especially
exciting for me not only
because it was my first event,
but because I got to travel for
the first time with my first
cousin, Ava Savoy, who is
Teen Miss Boucherie.
July 31, Jr. Police
Graduation
On 31st, I had the chance to
represent the JFA for the first
time in the City of Gonzales at
the Jr. Police Graduation. I
spent time with board
members while serving
World Champion Jambalaya!
August 3, Gueydan Duck
Festival Queen's Day
On August 3rd, I traveled to
Gueydan, LA, “The Duck
Capital of America”, to attend
my first queen’s day! Haydel’s
Game Calls surprised us each
with our own pink duck call and
taught us the many different
ways to call a duck. We also
had the chance to shoot skeet
and watch the Gueydan Duck
Festival Queen run her dog at
the dog trials! Later that night,
we were presented in train and
mantel at the Duck Festival’s
Wine and Cheese Social,
where we danced the
night away!
August 17, Louisiana
Gumbo Festival
Queen's Day
I traveled down the
Chackbay, LA where I
spent the day doing all
things gumbo! Teen Miss
Gonzales Jambalaya, Riley
Saurage and I attended our
first event together and had
an absolute blast playing
games, getting to know
the other queens and
painting gumbo pots!
August 17, Dreams Come
True Fundraiser
I wrapped up my travels on
August 17th at Lamar
Dixon for the Dreams
Come True Fundraiser!
Myself and three other
queens, Miss Gheens Bon
Mange, Miss Livingston
Parish, and Miss South
Louisiana Crawfish Boil
had the chance to sell
50/50 raffle tickets while
dancing all night to The Na
Na Sha Band. By the end
of the night, the raffle had
raised over $900 for the
Dreams Come True
Foundation! It was
awesome to see how
much support this amazing
organization has!
August 24, Shrimp and
Petroleum Coronation
On August 24th, I traveled
South to Morgan City for
the famous Shrimp and
Petroleum Coronation and
Ball! We toasted to Queen
83, Caylee Deshotel, for
completing an amazing
year as queen and
welcomed Queen 84,
Leah Domangue. We were
later presented in train and
mantle to all of those
attending the ball. We
celebrated both the old and
the new queen as we
danced and sang to a live
band all night long!
I am so blessed to get the
opportunity to travel every
weekend with such an
amazing group of young
women who all share the
same love and passion
for Louisiana Fairs and
Festivals and the
traditions they bring to
our great state! "I can't
wait to continue living this
lifelong dream of mine and
i'm so excited I get to share
it with all of you! Check
back each month to see
what else I've been up to!"
“Well, Time to Go!
Anyone seen my keys?”
Tara
 retired from Ascension Parish and I am proud to say that I endorsed by the Louisiana
Schools. Two of my three have scored 100% every year. Association of Business and
I want to thank the
children are currently teaching Industry, the Louisiana
people of District 59 for my
at Dutchtown High School. • Opportunity is the best cure Coalition for a Conservative
re-election to the Louisiana
Lisa and I are active in several for poverty, and I have firmly Majority, the Louisiana
House of Representatives
local organizations and supported measures to Association of Independent
without opposition. My
volunteer opportunities. We promote the growth of Business, and the Louisiana
pledge to everyone is to
know of no higher calling than business and industry in our Oil and Gas Association.
continue to do my very best
to serve others. state. As such, I have been
to represent the interests of
District 59, the interests of
Although I do not face a
Ascension Parish, and the
challenger, I think it is
interests of the state of
important to share my
Louisiana to the very best
position on some of the most
of my ability.

I have been a public servant important issues in the state.

in Ascension Parish for nearly
42 years, first as a law
enforcement officer for over
37 years, and now as a
State Representative. Public
service runs deep in my
family. My wife, Lisa, and my
Mother, Juanita, have both
• On abortion, I have stood
firmly as a proponent of the
right to life. The organization,
Louisiana Right to Life, keeps
a running score card on how
legislators vote on life issues,
 Family is the Reason,
Quality, Fair
Representation
must be Achieved!

• On social issues, I have
allowed my Christian values to
be my guide. As such, I have
been recognized and honored
by the Louisiana Family Forum
every year that I have been in
the Legislature.
• On the budget, I have
continually pressed for honest
balanced budgets and have
fought to eliminate fraud,
waste, and abuse.
• On transportation, I have
been a proponent for taking
politics out of the Department
of Transportation, and we now
have more road improvement
projects taking place in
Ascension Parish than at any
point in past memory.
• On Second Amendment
rights, I have been a strong
voice in support of the rights
that have been guaranteed to
all of us through the First
Ten Amendments to the
Constitution.
• In recognition of my
steadfast dedication to
conservative values, I was
elected to the position of
vice-chair of the Louisiana
House of Representatives
Republican Delegation in my
second year in office.
• Putting my law enforce-
ment investigative skills to
work, I have led the fight into
uncovering fraud, waste, and
abuse in the Medicaid program
resulting in over 85,000 people
being identified as enrolled but
ineligible, which will save the
taxpayers about $500 million
every year.
Every four years we have the
opportunity to shape our
future through our votes.
The people who we elect to
serve us at the local, state, and
federal levels will ultimately
shape the world that we live in,
and impact our quality of life.
Voting is indeed a privilege and
far too important an opportu-
nity to miss or to do without
thoughtful contemplation of
who is best equipped to
represent us.
A few questions that I ask
myself and I encourage each
of you to ask yourselves in
the voting booth are:
• Which candidate most
closely aligns with my
values...particularly are they
conservative, moderate,
or liberal?
• Which candidate seems to
care more about getting a job
done than they do about their
personal aspirations?
• Which candidate has the
courage stand up for what is
right, even when it might not
be popular to special interest
groups?
• Most importantly, which
candidate has a track record
of honesty, integrity, and
accomplishment?

Let’s keep our eyes on the ball!

Common sense over politics!

PAID FOR BY THE TONY BACALA

CAMPAIGN COMMITTEE
 Pelican Point’s 2019 Overall
Men’s Club Champion
Dustin Lambert!
Pelican Point Hosted MGA Club
Championship. We hope everyone
had a good time I know we had a
great weekend.
Pelican Point just completed their
Men’s Club Championship.
Saturday started off with a warm
and humid morning that just got
hotter as the day moved and the golf
got hotter. Sunday at Pelican Point
26
was equally as hot with fantastic
playing conditions.
Dustin Lambert won the overall
Men’s Club Championship and
Trevor Adams won the overall
Net Club Championship.
Thank you to all participants and
congratulations to all of the flight
winners.
Championship Flight
1st Gross Dustin Lambert
2nd Gross Jim Livingston
3rd Gross Paul Castro
4th Gross Jamie Lavigne
5th Gross Jarret Marchand

1st Net Trevor Adams

2nd Net Pat Lambert
3rd Net Brant Mayer
4th Net Jay Leblanc
5th Net Brandon Kikendall

First Flight
1st Gross Tony Frederic
2nd Gross Tim Achord
1st Net Mike Gill
2nd Net Rusty Tucker
 Dustin Lambert
Trevor Adams

Golf Yoda
Andrew Simar Terrell Bourgeois
Asst. Golf Pro Enjoying the competition.

Second Flight Third Flight

1st Gross Darin Johnson 1st Gross Mike Dampier
2nd Gross Steve Martin 2nd Gross John Voinche
1st Net Ritchie Hofman 1st Net Doyle Philippe
2nd Net Donald Berrigan 2nd Net John Waguespack

28
 Saint and Sinner Records Releases
Local Country Artist
Dennis Ledbetter
‘Opposite Walls’
Saint and Sinner Records, is
proud to announce the digital
release of Dennis Ledbetter's
new album Opposite Walls on
September 2nd 2019. Fans will
hear a good deal about both
sides of life and love in the
twelve songs on his new
recording, Opposite Walls.
Ledbetter tells his stories in a
whiskey-drenched, stone cold
country singing voice that just
about anyone can relate to.
The songs remind you of
things your own friends have
said and done. If you're
honest, you'll admit that some
of them could have been
written about you. Ledbetter's
album is kind of like a 40
minute therapy session/
sermon set in a vintage Honky
Tonk, or at times on the back
porch at the lake house.
For those who have been
missing authentic country
music, it’s here in spades,
complete with wailing steel
guitars, Honky Tonk piano,
screaming fiddles, hard-edged
electric guitars with a slightly
distorted edge, and all the
other musical fixings
necessary for this country
diner menu of love stories that
range from rock bottom
loneliness and cheating songs
to the thrill of new love and the
satisfaction of the lasting kind.
If you miss the heart and soul
of real country music in voices
like George Jones, Merle
Haggard, Johnny Paycheck,
and Hank, Jr., you're going to
love Dennis Ledbetter.
A Louisiana native and a
lifelong student of country
music (the real stuff), Dennis
Ledbetter brings a fresh, but ones that leap through the country vocals, and the steely
achingly familiar voice to the lines of music to touch your glint of blue eyes that peer out
stage and radio airways. His heart with characters that from beneath the wide brim of
classic instrumental arrange- seem as real as the friends a real cowboy hat. These
ments and vocal style harken and family you interact with things consistently and
back to country music of the everyday aren't portrayed completely grab listeners by
1970s and 80s when the genre effectively in shallow, the heart and pull them
still had its trademark twang bro-country ditties with a into a song.
and was damn proud of it, five-note vocal range. The kind Friends and fans will be
thank you very much. He's of country songs that Ledbetter pleased to hear Ledbetter's
spent years onstage at Honky writes and sings are the ones new Album, which will be
Tonks and clubs in the South, that can be a little tough to get available on September 2,
honing his craft and earning through without tearing up 2019 to radio and available for
the tears and smiles that are because they're so incredibly sale in all digital formats
sad and true-to-life. As a including CD Baby, Amazon,
country singer and also a ITunes, & Google Play. The
songwriter, Dennis opens a tunes will be available on the
vein, and let’s true life stories streaming sites Pandora,
and emotions flow. The simple, Spotify, Apple Music,
yet poignant lyrics, the singers Amazon Music, Deezer,
unapologetically, stone cold Tidal, and Napster.
reflected in his authentic voice.
Country radio has fallen in
love with Dennis Ledbetter's
music. The debut album, If You
Drive Me to Drinking (I’ll Buy
the Gas), generated five #1
singles on the New Music
Weekly Charts. His sophomore
CD, My Life Is a Country Song,
garnered three #1 singles on
the same charts. The EP It
Might Be the Whiskey
produced another # 1 single.
Good songs and stories the
29
 The Gods Must be Crazy and
the rest of us can’t be too far behind.
“We’re all mad here,” said the
Cat. “I’m mad. You’re mad.”
“How do you know I’m mad?”
said Alice.
“You must be,” said the Cat,
“or you wouldn’t have come
here.” From “Alice in
Wonderland”
by Lewis Carroll.
Sometimes when even a
metaphorical genius like the
Cheshire Cat can’t provide you
with suitable solutions on this
“ball of confusion” that we
call home, it may be time to
turn to-dare I say it-divine
intervention.
So as a service to you, my
faithful readers, I will risk the
first desperate step by
contacting…
The Masters of the Universe!
No, not He-Man and his
heroic Mattel movie group.
I’m talking the real Masters
here-the ones who reside up on
Alpha Centauri and watch with
unmitigated glee each day to see
what we unbelievable humans
will come up with next. But
let me see if I can gain a
sympathetic ear to lessen our
burdens in several matters
of importance…
Dear Masters,
Wild Bill down here with a
few humble requests to lay at
your majestic door. First of all,
one of my mother’s sitters
Angelle believes that there are
omens pointing toward either
an LSU National Championship depression after a “death in the
or a Saints’ Super Bowl or
possibly both. She bases these
visions of grandeur on the fact
that for the first time in
history-Louisiana has a Little
League World Series Champion inane political commercials or
(River Ridge) and an American
Idol winner (The Pride of
French Settlement Lane Hardy) topple our inept meteorologist
and that the stars are definitely
aligned in our favor.
Now obviously, I would be
delirious if either happened but
I realize that such a request
would be far beyond the
“humble” range , although I
have seen you people work
miracles before-namely, the
1969 Mets and the 1981 USA
Olympic hockey team that beat
30
a professional Russian squad
with a bunch of college kids.
But I have some simpler
petitions that I think may be
easier to grant. I do understand
that you Masters derive a great
deal of pleasure watching us
South Louisiana fanatics
lose our minds over such
meaningless (to you) weekend
football games. And you
probably howl with laughter
while we shed tears of anger or
family” loss by our beloved
Tigers or the Saints.
But can you please get your
kicks elsewhere-perhaps
watching our endless array of
the insane Democratic debates
to see which one gets to try and
for control of this cosmic joke
on the Third Rock.
Come on, guys. These
elections alone straight out of
Fred and Barney’s Grand
Poo-Bah race for leadership of
the Loyal Order of the Water
Buffalo Lodge No. 26 on the
“Flintstones” cartoon. That
should keep you amused
enough without dabbling in
some cardiac climaxes by
by Bill Delaune
LSU or the Saints.
I mean, we appreciate the new
offense that seemed to have the
Tigers in control of that big
“swing” game in Texas. But still
I was forced to hide behind my
couch as that last onside kick
dribbled out of bounds just
off the fingers of a Longhorn
receiver.
And don’t even get me started
on the last 43 seconds of the
Saints’ Monday night opener.
In rapid order we saw the
Saints kick a field goal to take a
6-point lead, a 2-play Texan
drive to tie the game, a missed
PAT, a Saints’ penalty, a made
PAT to give Houston the lead
and a 58-yard game winning
field goal for New Orleans.
That should be enough drama
for one season, don’t you think?
Or do you really enjoy watching
us all go through our Fred
Sanford “This is the big one,
Elizabeth” heart attack routines.
Secondly, I know you already
have a helluva band up there
with Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin,
Jim Morrison and all those
other rockers. You even picked
up a pretty good pair of
piano/keyboard stars recently
with New Orleans’ Dr. John
and Muscle Shoal’s “Funky”
Donnie Fritts. But could you
leave a few down here until
they’ve had a chance to “finish
their song” if you will. Creative
geniuses like Tom Petty, Glen
Frey and David Bowie could
teach some of these young guns
today a lot about writing and
performing.
And just “Imagine” if John
Lennon was still around.
And while we’re on the
subject, every September I try
to remember a couple of my
favorite artists that you snatched
a bit prematurely several
decades ago. I speak of Chicago
singer/songwriter Steve
Goodman (age 36) and Outlaw
Country pioneer Gram
Parsons (age 26).
Pardon me, oh Masters, but
Goodman’s death on September
20, 1984, came just four days
before his beloved Cubs won
the National League East for
the first time in history. Wasn’t
that just a tad cruel?
He was also scheduled to sing
the National Anthem at the
Cubs’ first post-season
appearance since 1945 eight
days later but his dear friend
Jimmy Buffet filled in and
dedicated his emotional
rendition to Steve. By the way,
the Cubs won that day and
later some of his ashes were
scattered on Wrigley Field as in
his song “A Dying Cub Fan’s
Last Request”.
A more upbeat Goodman
tune-“Go, Cubs, Go!”-is still
played after each victory so
thanks for that memory anyway.
And he was here long enough
to write “City of New Orleans”-
a monster hit for Arlo Guthrie
and Willie Nelson-and “You
Never Even Called Me by My
Name” in which country star
David Allan Coe gave him a
shout-out for writing
“the perfect country and
western song” in the last verse.
Anyway, tell ole Stevie-or
“Cool Hand Leuk”, as he used
to refer to himself during his
battle with leukemia-that I said
hello and that I thought he was
grossly underrated as a
songwriter and a guitar picker.
A day earlier on September
19, I will don my Joshua Tree
shirt and celebrate the life of
Parsons who left us in 1973.
One source All Music described
his tragically short career as
“enormously influential” for
country and rock as he blended
several genres into what he
called “American Cosmic
Music”.
After stints with The Byrds
and The Flying Burrito
Brothers, Gram went off on
his own-in more ways than
one-living with Keith Richards
for a while and introducing the
Stones to country-flavored
music. In fact, one of their hits,
“Honky Tonk Women was first
recorded as a country song.
If Parsons did nothing else, he
introduced us to a young female
singer named Emmylou Harris
who assisted him with vocals on
his first solo record. And his
biting response to Nashville
media giant Ralph Emery who
wouldn’t play his records on
country stations-“Drugstore
Truck Driving Man”-was played
at Woodstock by Joan Baez,
albeit with a different target.
Unfortunately, Gram
struggled with the same demons
that haunted Jimi, Janis and Jim
and he died of an overdose of
drugs in the Joshua Tree Inn
just a few weeks shy of his 27th
birthday. Tourists still visit
room number 8 where it
happened and is now considered
a shrine to his fans.
Just as Goodman had
requested a spot for his ashes,
Parsons had a plan for his also.
He and manager Phil Kaufman
had made a pact that whoever
died first, the survivor would
take the other guy’s body out to
his favorite Joshua Tree rock
formation, have some drinks
and burn it.
So when Kaufman learned of
Parson’s stepfather’s plans to
bury Gram in New Orleans, he
did what any friend would
do-he stole the coffin. With the
help of another friend Michael
Martin, the duo led the police
on a drunken chase into the
desert, doused his coffin with
high-octane gas and lit it
causing a giant fireball to rise
into the desert night. (For a
full-and more humorous
account-watch the movie
“Grand Theft Parsons” starring
Johnny Knoxville.)
His remains were eventually
shipped to New Orleans and
buried in the Garden of
Memories on Airline Drive in
Metairie.
And finally, Masters, could
you lend a little help to my
good friend and publisher Mike
Strong’s beloved Atlanta Braves
(and for you, too, Mackie). Just
a gentle nudge should be
enough to get them past those
evil Dodgers from La-La Land
in the playoffs.
And help people distinguish
that Atlanta “A” on his cap
from the hated Alabama “A” so
that he doesn’t get lynched by
an LSU mob.
Thanks in advance,
Wild Bill from Prairieville.

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31

Squirrel
Hunting with
a 22 Rifle
“You better leave that thing at home and bring
your shotgun if you want to kill your limit.” I’ve
been told that too many times in reference of me
using a rifle to squirrel hunt versus the use of a
shotgun. Yep, they’re right. I would in most cases
kill more squirrels firing a shotgun, but the fact is
that I get all I want using a rifle. There’s nothing
wrong with hunting with a shotgun. Squirrels can
be very challenging no matter what type of
firearm you use to hunt them. I prefer a rifle to
hunt them and although success with it can be
very rewarding, failure can be very frustrating.
There’s a big difference when it comes to choosing
which method you use. In a way it’s kind of like
the difference between hunting deer with a bow
225.647.4332 • Hwy. 44 • Gonzales
Goosie
Jammin’with
versus the use of a high powered rifle. I’ve
messed up shots every way you can in the past
and still make some of the same mistakes today.
I’ve spent as much as a half hour before on a
squirrel and never get a shot on him. If you fool
around with one long enough he’ll probably see
you and the game will be over for you. There’s
been situations depending on the type of tree he’s
in, where I’ve just walked off and looked for
another one because I could not get a shot. If a
squirrel runs off because he sees you or you
finally take a desperate shot and miss him then
you’re done. You won’t hit him on the run
whereas with a scatter gun you’d still stand a
chance. When aiming with a rifle you better put
the crosshairs exactly where you want to place
the shot or you will not hit him. Placing a shot
into a clump of leaves with a tail hanging out of it
ain’t gonna get it. You’ll come up empty ninety
nine percent of the time. And oh by the way, if
you jump a rabbit while toting a rifle, which does
happen at times, you’ll have to enjoy watching
him scamper away.
32
I find myself constantly talking to myself and
saying words that you ain’t supposed to say when
trying to get a shot on some squirrels. Gray
squirrels in particular don’t like to sit still for very
long, they are like the everready bunny and when
they do stop it seems that something is always in
your field of view. Fox squirrels are a much larger,
calmer and easier species to hunt. The type of
woods that you hunt and the type of trees that
the squirrels are feeding in can also make or
break you. In other words, rifle shooting fox
squirrels out of honey locust or hackberry trees
versus trying to get a shot on a gray squirrel
eating in a tree full of vines makes all
the difference.
I take a lot of pride in killing squirrels with a rifle.
It’s probably my favorite thing to do and I am
successful most of the time. I usually enter the
woods with the thought of killing three or four per
hunt. That’s supper and to me is considered a
success. I’ll have to put up with the harassment of
shotgunners that may have done better from time
to time but I ain’t no fool and at times I’ll
outdo them with six or seven and about once a
season when all the stars line up I’ll get a
limit of eight.
I find that along with other things I used to do
better, I now am not as good as I once was in the
squirrel woods. This past season I was having
pretty fair success but could have been doing
much better. I’m not near as steady, even with a
rest, than I was at one time but I was missing
shots that I really should be making. I was using
the rifle and scope that I’ve been using for years.
After discussing the issue with my dad, he talked
me into using a 22magnum that he’s had for
some time. I took the rifle and daylight the next
morning found me creeping up on a cat squirrel
cutting acorns in the top of a large pin oak. As
soon as I put the gun on my shoulder it occurred
to me at that moment what the biggest part of
my problem had been.
The quality of the telescope was so much better
than what I had been using for years. My eyes
have not gotten better with age. What was once
alright for my eyesight has now changed. I could
see that squirrel as clear as day through that
glass. I made that shot, and by eight-forty that
morning I walked out with a limit of eight. Two
reds and six grays. That was a great way to put
an end to my squirrel season and I can’t wait to
get after them next year with my new scope...
Till Next Time,
Do It The Way You Want To,
James “Goosie” Guice
 with Kellie
Useless Random Facts

Entertainment Schedule
•
A rodents teeth never stop growing.
They are worn down by the animal’s gnawing on
bark, leaves, and other vegetables.
Sept 19
"Friends" Trivia
•
Elvis Presley was a natural blonde.
Sept 21
DJ 2 EZ
•

Sept 27
A lightning bolt generates temperatures

Mixed Nuts
five times hotter than those found

Sept 28
on the sun’s surface.

Sofa Kings Reunion Show

•

Oct 4
Groaking is to watch people eating in hopes

The Shakes
that they will offer you some.

Oct 5
•

Remedy
Certain frogs can be frozen solid then thawed,

Oct 12
and continuer living.

Pat -E Acoustic
•

Oct 18
Joel Cooper Rock Show
Golfers use an estimated $800 million worth
of golf balls annually.
•
The state of Florida is bigger than England.
www.parkplaceofgonzales.com
•
The most common name in Italy is Mario Rossi SOFA KINGS ... SEPT. 28TH
•
About seven million cars are junked
each year in the U.S.
•
14% of all facts and statistics are made up
and 27% of people know that fact.
•
Mammals are the only creatures that have flaps
around their ears. 1711 S. BURNSIDE • GONZALES • 644-8901
33

Thoughts from Bully
A Golden Girl
Kicked My
Friend
Between the Eyes
in Tiger Stadium!
This past month the fan fair of
the first LSU football home
game reminded me of my first
experience as a student sitting in
the student section.
I had made friends with John,
who was from of Puerto Rico
and had never been to an Amer-
ican football game, much less
an LSU game. Since we lived in
West Stadium Dormatory we
were able to get in line for the
student section early.
Like most freshman college
students, our pockets and purses
were stuffed with bottles and we
had already had a few beverages
prior to the game. I think
someone had beer instead of
milk with his Frosted Flakes. Oh
Yeah, that was me.
We entered the gate and
stumbled our way up the
corridors and entered the
stadium as close to the 50 yard
line as possible. The field was a
vision of beauty and all the
excitment of LSU football had
the hair standing on the back of
my neck.
We started hearing the LSU
band off in the distance as they
marched through campus and
toward the stadium. The sound
got louder and louder as we
could hear them working their
way through the stadium and
marched right out of the portal
34
directly below us. As they came
up the steps I realized we had
sat one row directly in front of
the roped off area for the band.
I had put two and two
together and had firgured the
Golden Girls would soon be 3ft
behind us.
John had been taking in all
the festivities and steadily
refilling his Rum and Coke.
Suddenly, those SPARKLING
VISIONS OF BEAUTY,
appeared through the portal. It
was the Golden Girls! John
started shaking and spazzing
right next to me. His broken
English turned into straight
Spanish. I couldn’t understand a
word he was saying but it was as
if he had seen the Virgin Mary.
He was making the sign of the
cross and repeating Thank You,
Thank You.
The fun part was just
beginning. Do you know how
hard it was for me to get him to
face the field.
John soon became a pest to
the girls by starring at their
privates, and boy was I
embarrassed when they stood
up to do one of their many
high kick dances.
Since I had known John only
PROFESSIONAL • RELIABLE • EXPERIENCED
If you’re going to have a pool,
it might as well look cool .
My company is large enough to do the job right.
It’s also small enough to treat you right!
Ryan "Shake" Schexnayder
AFTER
Prairieville, La 70769 • 225.715.4594
a short time, I wasn’t sure
how well he spoke the English
language. If he had a limited
vocabulary he was certainly
getting a lesson in some new
words and phrases. I heard
them shout words like jerk,
punk, pervert and geek. Some
phrases were, “Take a Picture.”
“Get the Hell out of here.”
“My brother is going to kick
your butt.” The game started
and things got a little better. He
turned around every once in a
while to see if we had the ball.
By this time, I could tell several
of the girls were really mad
and they were plotting.
The girls stood to perform
and during the performance I
could see one of the girls was
winking at him and getting his
attention and while he was
focused on her, another girl
halled off and kicked him right
between the eyes. He fell
back dazed.
I helped him up. He smiled
and blessed the purple bump on
his forehead and said,
“There is a GOD.”
BEFORE
 Top 3 Winners at Papa George Cook Off
are Members of the Jambalaya Tour.
JT
Indicates
Jambalaya Tour
Member

Congratulations Champion Daren Braud

JT JT

JT JT JT

JT JT
35
JT JT JT

JT

JT
36
 JT JT

Caring for Ascension Parish HWY 30

for Over 40 Years

BURNSIDE
2304
S. Burnside Ave.
• No appointment necessary but they are available

X
Ste. 2
• Most insurances accepted

Returning to Our Regular Hours ...

M-F 7am - 5pm
* Se Habla Espanol

Sarah Chavez, M.D.*

Richard J. Caro, M.D. Peter J. Monteyne, M.D.

www.caroclinic.com • 225.647.6533
PUBLISHER’S NOTE: Ascension Magazine will be printing more Youth Fishing Day photos again next month.
 2 WHOLE BBQ CHICKENS (quartered)
2 SLABS OF BBQ RIBS
2 POUNDS OF PULL PORK
2 POUNDS OF BRISKET
SMALL PAN POTATO SALAD or COLE SLAW
SMALL PAN BAKED BEANS
12 GARLIC TEXAS TOAST
Call for the 2 Minute Drill
Order and Pick up
in 1 hour

HALF A CHICKEN 1 POTATO SALAD

HALF A RACK OF RIBS 1 COLD SLAW
POUND OF PULL PORK 2 PINT BAKED BEANS
POUND OF BRISKET 4 GARLIC TEXAS TOAST

For All Our Information & Services: franksrestaurantla.com • 225.673.8876

40
41
Pelican Point Lady Golf Association
holds Club Championship
“Congratulations”
Jennifer Hautman is our overall
2019 PPLGA Champion.
First Flight Winners Second Flight
1. Aaron Bourque 1. Jackie Dennis
2. Chris Crow 2. Diane Clouatre
3. Jana O’banion 3. Debbie Stevens
4. Madelyn King 4. Susie Davis - W/D
5. Darlene Lee
Closest to the Pin Winners
#4 Darlene Lee #14 Jana O’banion
#8 Jennifer Hautman #17 Jackie Dennis

42
43
 Ingredients:
Cooking Gourmet at Home 2 tbsp butter
with SNO’S SEAFOOD & STEAKS 8 ounces andouille sausage,
cut into ¼ inch slices
2 tbsp ground paprika
1 tbsp ground cumin
½ tsp cayenne pepper
½ cup diced tomatoes
1 large green bell pepper,
diced
2 stalks celery, sliced
¼ inch thick
4 green onions, thinly sliced
1 tsp salt
1 bay leaf
1 cup uncooked brown rice
3 cups chicken stock
1 pound large shrimp,
peeled & deveined
Salt & ground black pepper
to taste

Instructions:
1. Place butter and sausage in a large stockpot over medium heat;
cook and stir for 5 minutes until sausage begins to brown.

2. Stir in paprika, cumin, and cayenne; cook for 1 minute

SHRIMP AND SAUSAGE JAMBALAYA 3. Stir tomatoes, onions, celery, green pepper, green onions, salt
and bay leaf into sausage mixture.
Prep:
4. Add brown rice and stir to combine. Stir in chicken stock and
20 minutes turn heat to low. Cover and cook for until rice is just tender,
Cook Time: about 45 minutes.
1 hr. 10mins
Servings: 5. Stir in shrimp, replace lid and cook for 5 minutes.

Executive Chef 4 plates 6. Season with salt and black pepper.

Sam Penton

45
46
Come Help us Celebrate at
Our Z Fabulous 5 Year Event
Thursday, October 17th from
9:00 am - 4:00 pm in our
Prairieville location

Grand Prize Giveaway

•
Special Event Pricing
•
CoolSculpting Giveaway
•
Free Gift to all who attend

17497 Old Jefferson Hwy. Prairieville LA 70769

Call 225-778-7540 to RSVP you and a guest

www.zdermatology.com