Anxiety and depression are two leading mental illnesses in the United States,

affecting 40 million adults, that’s 18% of the population! Yet more hauntingly, it
affects one in every eight children, stripping them of their most fun, carefree
years of life.

Anxiety and depression are both highly treatable but only one-third of those
suffering from it seek treatment. What’s the cause of this? Shame? Lack of
education on the topic? Lack of insurance? Most likely, it’s your own anxiety
keeping you from seeking help, it’s those voices in your head that never go
away constantly spewing lies at you. It’s a hard battle, there is no denying
that, but if others can combat it so can you.

Anxiety is no joke, whether it be mild or severe, generalized or social; all are

serious matters. Anxiety comes in many different forms, all unique in their own
way, but none of them should be ignored.

If you suffer from anxiety you most likely suffer from another mental illness
too, most commonly depression and it can unfortunately lead to many things
such as alcoholism, substance abuse, self-harm and suicide. So why is it that
society still undermines anxiety as a major issue?

I along with those 40 million people suffer from anxiety and I used to be
ashamed of it. Some days it’s worse than others and I don’t want to get out of
bed. When I chose to stay in bed though that’s giving the enemy all the power
and I know that, but some days it’s just too much.

AND THAT IS OKAY.

In a society that advocates being perfect, it is very hard to accept that it is

okay to have flaws, to suffer from things that not all people suffer from. Sure, it
makes you different but it doesn’t make you any less of a person.

My anxiety in high school did not seem that bad so I never thought of myself
as having it. But looking back I now understand that if I had just been
educated on the topic I would have realized my illness. Sure getting nervous
for a test is normal but was being so nervous that your hands were shaking for
hours really normal?

Was it normal to avoid lunch at all costs because that many people in the
same room terrified you? Was it normal that walking home alone was so
terrifying that you would do absolutely anything to avoid it? Was holding your
trash all class because you didn’t want to get up in front of people normal? I
opted out of a good program in my high school because I was so nervous that
it would single me out too much and people would start talking. None of that
was normal, but as a highschooler I knew nothing about anxiety and I was so
good at hiding it that no one spoke up for me either because no one noticed I
was suffering.

Fast forward to freshman year of college. You get a lot more freedom in
college especially if you go away. I started skipping class a lot more often
because I was so anxious. I would lay in bed and let my thoughts consume
me. I let the voices brought on by my overwhelming anxiety tell me I wasn’t
good enough and that I would never make it. I believed them.

What kind of lawyer would I be if I couldn’t even help myself? My grades

started slipping from me, but luckily I had a friend who cared. I had to meet my
friend at breakfast before class everyday just to make sure I actually showed
up for class. After countless meetings with my professors, who thankfully
understood, and endless amounts of extra credit, I finally got my grades back
up.

But, I didn’t make Dean’s List and the voices in my head took that and they
ran with it and again they talked me into believing that I wasn’t good enough.
But still I didn’t believe I had a problem because I still did not quite understand
what anxiety was.

Then sophomore year came and I started my second major, psychology. I fell
in love with the field in my Intro to Psychology class and I was so excited to
continue but I still had dreams of becoming a lawyer. My friend from last year
wasn’t at school any longer and I could feel myself slipping.

I knew that this wasn’t me but it was overpowering and I felt like I had no
control, I didn’t know how to cope. I went on all year like this. I pushed myself
to do my best and my attendance was way better than the previous year, as
were my grades, I finally made Deans List! But it didn’t stop the voices.
Despite all I had accomplished to them I was still a failure, to them I would still
amount to nothing. And I still believed them.

I am now in my junior year of college. I no longer have dreams of becoming a

lawyer but I am very proud to say it is not because those voices in my head
told me I couldn’t. I no longer believe those voices in my head. First semester
I took a psychology class that defined anxiety for me. I learned all the
symptoms and different forms that anxiety can take.
Most importantly I learned that there were ways to get help and even more
importantly that I was not alone. It’s been a long road and not every form of
treatment worked for me. I have finally accepted that I will always struggle
with anxiety but rather than letting it control me, I can cope and work with it.

By sticking to a routine and going to bed at a decent time and getting good
sleep, I have significantly reduced my anxiety. I no longer live in constant fear
of what thoughts those voices, my voices, put in my head. I finally feel free.

Now to say that I am cured of my anxiety would be a lie, but I have found a
lifestyle to lead that finally makes me feel normal. I still have bad days and
every once in a blue moon I will skip class just to stay in bed.

AND THAT IS OKAY.

Anyone who tells you that it is not okay is just an ignorant fool that has had
the fortune of not suffering from anxiety. If you are suffering FIND HELP,
there’s therapy, there’s medication, there’s stress balls (surprisingly they really
work!). For those who still want to keep their anxiety secret try daily exercise,
it’s one of the easiest things you can do to help relieve anxiety.

BUT NEVER BE THE DEVIL’S ADVOCATE TO THOSE VOICES IN YOUR

HEAD. Do not let them consume you and DO NOT BELIEVE THEM.

They do not control you, they do not own you and you are not your anxiety.
And if you don’t take anything else from this article just remember you are not
alone, there’s 40 million other people out there going through similar things.
Take a deep breath and believe me, one day at a time things will start to get
easier.