EUCHARIST IN ACTION

(Reflections on Clinical Pastoral Education)

It was a very grace-filled opportunity that last July to September, I was able to nourish and
vivify my life as an Adorno, a Eucharist in action, when I attended and experienced the Clinical-
Pastoral Education at Manila Doctors Hospital. It was a very holistic program which gave me and
the rest of the batch an opportunity to visit patients in the hospital and minister to their current
spiritual and emotional needs. Through the service that we give in our ministry as chaplains of the
hospital, I had that humbling experience to let them feel the presence of Christ and the Christian
community whenever I patiently listen to their various stories of life and the like. Quoting Saint
Paul to his letter to the Colossians: “Now I rejoice in my sufferings for your sake, and in my flesh
I am filling up what is lacking in the afflictions of Christ on behalf of his body, which is the
church, of which I am a minister in accordance with God’s stewardship given to me to bring to
completion for you the word of God, the mystery hidden from ages and from generations past.”
(Colossians 1:24-26)
In the program, we are not just given the time to visit our designated patients but moreover,
we let their stories and our conversations with them minister our own selves and help us through
the group processing. At the end of the day, we became the patients ourselves and through the help
of our peers, we heal and strengthen each other. CPE gave us an opportunity to re-examine
ourselves as a person and to look to our blind spots through the lens of each other’s eyes. Through
the group processing that was conducted, we let ourselves be vulnerable towards the other, and let
the situations transform whatever is needed to be transformed and destroy whatever is needed to
be destroyed in our selves and identity as a person.
The Clinical Pastoral Education, being a holistic program as it is, helped me as a person,
to rediscover and reconsider my self-worth as a person. I have learned to re-acknowledge my
strengths and at the same time to deal with my weaknesses which helped me grow mature as a
person. Of course, with the help, not only of frequent patient visitations but more especially of my
peers’ appreciation and affirmation of my personality, the CPE, somehow, if not totally, boosted
my self-confidence, especially with dealing with other persons. Moreover, it helped me to
appreciate more of life and confirm more effectively my philosophy in life, that is, to look at the
brighter side of life.
As a Pastoral Care Giver, The CPE helped me to minister with patients emotional and
spiritual needs, especially because this is a totally new ministry for me. It helped me to be prudent
and be more patient toward those people who need pastoral care. I have realized that there is more
to listening with the ears but moreover it is with the heart that one can truly listen and minister to
one’s pastoral needs. It also helped me to gain more positive outlooks in life, though at the same
time still recognizing negativities to learning and growing as a person. I have learned to cherish
every second and every minute of daily life and to look at the beauty in it, to look at situations
always with a silver lining and to be grateful.
As a professed brother, the CPE also influence my perception of God. As a Catholic, I have
always looked at God as someone who is very merciful and compassionate. A person who can
forgive and forget, and a person who cannot be outdone of his generosity. He is a God who loves
without condition and hesitation. And as I have journeyed through the CPE, I have come to realize
that God is someone not contained in lofty theological doctrines nor he is not someone limited to
the sacraments and mysteries, but a God who can be touched, can be seen and can be talked to,
through the present moment and through people we encounter each day and that is how God loves
us so much that he does not want to be contained every day in a box-like container. As God has
touched us and seen us, we have the responsibility to be God’s envoy to those little ones he
considers the least.
As CPE ends, I can say, that I have stepped out from my comfort zone which for years,
have pampered and spoiled me, hindering me to grow and develop as an individual. The CPE
taught me that we cannot be the best, but as one of my colleagues would say, we must always learn
to be better. To be better in the way that we have done what is enough from our capacity as a
person. With that, I am consoled.
The CPE has taught me and helped me re-assess the value of companionship and the
importance of our relations towards the other. All that I have done, discovered and acknowledged
as a person, I awe a lot to my peers and colleagues who helped me out in the process. I would like
to mention most specially my supervisor, Sr. Ludivina Cercado, SOM who have pushed me to
move forward and look beyond what lies more behind myself. My peers have seen me broken and
they have witnessed how I re-shaped and re-mold myself to be the better version of myself. I have
always told them to look at the bright side of life, but moreover, it was because of them that I have
learned to be positive and optimistic and why I went this far in the CPE journey. More than
conforming to the program, my peers were one of the reasons that I was eager to wake up early in
the morning, wait for a jeepney under the burning heat of the sun and walking the streets of Kalaw
Avenue, Manila with my T-shirt wet with my sweat. Truly, one of my colleagues’ post on
Instagram was right: Mas masaya palang lumago kapag may kasama ka. (It is much happier to
grow when you have company with you).
Moreover, God has once again touched my life. Amidst all my doubts and reservations, he
never failed me, and he has proven that he was always there even though sometimes we cannot
feel him. God was present all along this journey even though implicitly, through the voice of my
patients who willingly shared with me their faith journey and their utmost trust to the loving mercy
of God, that amidst their pains and sufferings, they have only God and it is only through God that
they will find rest. God can be touched, can be seen and can be heard. He is right before us at the
present moment, loving us all the way and without reservation.
Lastly, the CPE made me realized that the Eucharist is not just seen or celebrated when we
celebrate the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. The Eucharist must continuously be celebrated through
the own oblations and offerings of our lives. Like the bread that once was a seed who was scattered
and sown and a wheat which was gathered and grown, we are all called to be broken for the life of
the world. That like the wine which once was vine that was squeezed dry to make a good drink,
we are summoned to die to ourselves and make Christ present in our lives. The CPE made me
realized that I am a person that was broken but nevertheless was blessed and consecrated, to be
shared and give life to the despondent and downhearted. In every moment of every day, we become
a Eucharist in action, Christified through our acts of service and charity. The CPE gave me the
grace to reexamine my identity as a simple professed brother of the Clerics Regular Minor, whose
life and charism centered in the living out of our Lord’s Paschal Mystery, realized and vivified in
the Holy Eucharist.
Indeed, all that has happened and has transpired was all God’s grace. This is your Chaplain,
Br. Harvey Bermudez, CRM, signing off.