Therapist’s Overview

APOLOGY LETTER FOR BULLYING

GOALS OF THE EXERCISE

1. Offer sincere and genuine apology to other children who have been victims of the bullying,
threatening, or intimidating behavior.
2. Verbalize an acceptance of responsibility for bullying or intimidating behavior.
3. Increase empathy and sensitivity to how bullying or threatening behavior negatively impacts
others.
4. Terminate all bullying, threatening, or intimidating behavior.

ADDITIONAL PROBLEMS FOR WHICH THIS EXERCISE MAY BE MOST

USEFUL
• Anger Management
• Conduct Disorder/Delinquency
• Peer/Sibling Conflict

SUGGESTIONS FOR PROCESSING THIS EXERCISE WITH THE CLIENT

The purpose of this assignment is to prepare the client to offer a sincere, genuine apology to the other
child (or children) who has been a victim of his/her bullying, threatening, or intimidating behavior.
The client is first required to respond to a series of questions or items that will help him/her offer a
well-thought-out apology. After responding to the questions, the client is encouraged to write a rough
draft on a separate piece of paper. The client should share and process the contents of the rough draft
with the therapist before giving a sincere apology to the victim(s). The therapist should explore
whether the client should give either a verbal or written apology. One of the primary goals of the
exercise is to increase the client’s empathy and sensitivity to how his/her aggressive and threatening
behavior may negatively impact others. The therapist should challenge or confront any statements in
which the client projects the blame for his/her bullying or threatening behavior onto other people or
outside circumstances and refuses to accept full responsibility.
 EXERCISE IX.A

APOLOGY LETTER FOR BULLYING

You are being asked to apologize to           (Name of child/other children)       

who you have either bullied, threatened, or frightened in some way. Before giving your apology,
please respond to the following questions or items. Your answers or responses will help you give a
well-thought-out apology and show that you are truly sorry for your bullying or threatening behavior.

1. Please describe your bullying or threatening behavior.

2. What were the reasons or factors that caused you to either bully or threaten the other child or
children?

3. Tell in your own words why you are responsible or at fault for your bullying or threatening
behavior.

4. Now tell the reasons why the other child or children are not responsible or to blame for your
bullying or threatening behavior.
5. What bad things happened to the other child or children as a result of your bullying or
threatening behavior? Was the other child physically hurt or emotionally upset? Please describe.

6. What punishment did you receive, either at home or school, because of your bullying or
threatening behavior?

7. How has your bullying or threatening behavior affected your relationship with the other child or
children involved in the incident?

8. What lessons have you learned about how your bullying behavior affects others?

9. What can you say to the other child or children that shows that you have accepted your
punishment?

10. What can you say to the other child or children that will help them feel better or safer in the
future?

On a separate piece of paper, write a rough draft of your apology to the other child or children. Look
back over your responses or answers to the previous questions to help write your letter. Do not send
the rough draft or give an apology to the other child or children without first talking to your therapist.
Please bring your responses and rough draft to the next therapy session.