DECEMBER 2019

® MAGAZINE

Cloning &
Preservation
Innovation and
Experimentation in
Pet Memorialization

Inside:
—Seniors & Technology
—Emojis Are Here to Stay
—No More ‘Closure’
—Aloha, Scott Sells
 Every year,
we fund over
50,000 funerals,
serve over
2,800 funeral homes,
and pay out over
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funerals.
We must be doing it right.
Admittedly, the stats are pretty impressive. No other insurance assignment
company can boast the number of funeral homes served or the amount of
money paid out yearly to make sure every funeral goes off without a hitch.
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& You
 CONTENTS
DECEMBER 2019 VOLUME 79 | NUMBER 10

Features

14  Never Having to Say

Goodbye: The ‘Forever’
Family Pet
by Susan Cushing
What if we never actually had
to say goodbye? Thanks to
incredible advances in modern
science, pet parents actually
SHUTTERSTOCK have alternatives to burial and
cremation. 14

20 18  The Fourth Day

by Martin Scott Kosins
If you’ve ever loved an animal,
there are three days in your life 18
you will always remember.

20  Coping with Today’s Language:

Emojis, Memojis, Animojis, Idioms, Slang & Profanity
by Todd W. Van Beck, CFuE
Words can elevate the human experience to the noblest of altruism and
dignity; likewise, words can corrupt and taint the human experience to
levels of debasement and cruelty that leave this historian speechless.

24  Putting Closure on the Use of the

Word ‘Closure’ in Grief
by Alan D. Wolfelt, PhD
24 The truth is that we as humans do not get over grief. There is no
shutting the door. There is no tidy resolution or total sense of
completion. There is no discrete end point. Just as love goes on, so, too,
does grief.

28  Remembering a Comrade: Scott R. Sells

• A Eulogy, by Andy Lopez
• That Familiar Laugh, by Todd W. Van Beck, CFuE
• Sharing, Reminiscing: Memories of Scott R. Sells

28

2 ICCFA MAGAZINE December 2019 www.iccfa.com

 Columns
M A G A Z I N E
DECEMBER 2019 VOL. 79 | NO. 10 WASHINGTON REPORT . . . . . . . . . 6 SALES & MARKETING . . . . . . . . . 12
Good News: Washington Is Seniors Are Savvier (at Tech) than You
ICCFA Officers Giving Everyone Money! Surmise
PRESIDENT
by Poul Lemasters, Esq. by Welton Hong
Jay D. Dodds, CFSP
On September 24, 2019, DOL As a whole, deathcare remains well
PRESIDENT-ELECT
Gary M. Freytag, CCFE promulgated a final rule regarding the behind the eight-ball on accepting
VICE PRESIDENT earnings threshold for overtime pay. This and leveraging the incredible power of
Andrés Aguilar applies to overtime exemption under innovation.
VICE PRESIDENT the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA) for
Shawna de la Cruz INDUSTRY UPDATE . . . . . . . . . . . 34
certain status employees.
VICE PRESIDENT
Lee Longino
PLPA UPDATE. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 MEMBERS IN THE NEWS . . . . . . . 36
VICE PRESIDENT
Mitch Rose, CCFE, CCrE The PLPA College:
TREASURER A Must-Attend for Next Year ICCFA NEWS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 44
Chris Keller by Coleen A. Ellis 44 ICCFA Health Insurance Marketplace:
SECRETARY The attendees walked away with Lifeline Screening
Robbie L. Pape
learning immediately applicable to their 44 ICCFA Music Licensing
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR
Nadira Baddeliyanage operations, whether they happened to be 45 Welcome New ICCFA Members
GENERAL COUNSEL in start-up mode or in existence for many
45 Membership Outreach Corner
Poul Lemasters, Esq. years.
poul@iccfa.com 46 2020 ICCFA Annual Convention &
SALES & MARKETING . . . . . . . . . 10 Expo: PLPA Spotlight
Magazine Staff
EDITORIAL DIRECTOR
Marketing Your Pet Loss Business 48 DEAD Talks 2020 Preview
Tatia L. Gordon-Troy, Esq. by Katie Koewler
tatia@iccfa.com | 571.323.2983, ext. 1222 No matter how long you’ve been in the CALENDAR . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50
SUPPLIER RELATIONS MANAGER
business, the challenge is connecting with
Rick Platter AD INDEX . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 50
rplatter@iccfa.com | 800.645.7700, ext. 1213 pet parents prior to a pet’s passing.
COMMUNICATIONS MANAGER
Katherine Devins
kd@iccfa.com | 800.645.7700, ext. 1218
COMMUNICATIONS ASSISTANT
Jason Brown
jason@iccfa.com | 800.645.7700, ext. 1224
EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR AND PUBLISHER
Nadira Baddeliyanage
nadira@iccfa.com | 1.800.645.7700, ext. 1225
OFFICE ADMINISTRATOR & ASSOCIATION LIAISON
Brenda Clough
bclough@iccfa.com | 800.645.7700, ext. 1214
SUBSCRIPTION COORDINATOR (HABLA ESPAÑOL)
Daniel Osorio
danielo@iccfa.com | 800.645.7700, ext. 1215
8
DESIGN & PRODUCTION
BonoTom Studio, Inc.
info@bonotom.com | bonotom.com | 703-276-0612
ICCFA Magazine (ISSN 1936-2099) is published by the
International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association®, Follow the ICCFA on Twitter to
107 Carpenter Drive, Suite 100, Sterling, VA 20164-4468; receive instant updates on
703.391.8400; FAX 703.391.8416; www.iccfa.com. Published the association’s educational
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4 ICCFA MAGAZINE December 2019 www.iccfa.com

The Washington Report
by Poul Lemasters, Esq.
poul@iccfa.com
Poul Lemasters, serves
as ICCFA general counsel
and cremation programs
coordinator. He also serves
on the Government and Legal
Affairs Committee. Poul is an
attorney and a funeral director/
embalmer with degrees
from the Cincinnati College
of Mortuary Science and the
Northern Kentucky University
Chase College of Law. He is
a licensed funeral director/
embalmer in Ohio and West
Virginia and is admitted to
practice law in Ohio, Kentucky,
and Virginia.
As principal of Lemasters
Consulting, a deathcare
consulting company, Poul
Lemasters offers ICCFA
members in good standing
a free one-hour consultation
relating to cremation; in
addition, members are entitled
to a free GPL review to check
for Funeral Rule compliance.
6 ICCFA MAGAZINE December 2019
Good News: Washington Is Giving
Everyone Money!
T
he title of this article is a very positive
view of some regulatory changes just
announced; but it doesn’t really address
the entire story. According to headlines from
Washington, D.C., the U.S. Department of Labor
(DOL) is making 1.3 million American workers
eligible for overtime pay, thus giving everyone
(well 1.3 million workers) money.
On September 24, 2019, DOL promulgated
a final rule regarding the earnings threshold for
overtime pay. This applies to overtime exemption
under the Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA) for
certain status employees.
You may recall that in 2016, the overtime
threshold was expanded and increased to $47,476
per year, but it never actually went into effect due review employee salary levels to see if they will
to a decision from the U.S. District Court for the
Eastern District of Texas, which found the rule
invalid (the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Fifth
Circuit later dismissed DOL’s 2017 appeal).
Increased Levels
In the final rule, which is set to go into effect on they satisfy the duties test within any of the
January 1, 2020, DOL is raising the “standard
salary level” from the currently enforced level of professional, and outside sales. Remember that
$455 per week to $684 per week (this is a jump
from the current $23,660 per year to $35,568
per year).
The final rule is also raising the annual com- sider the following for each of the categories:
pensation requirement for “highly compensated
employees” from the current level of $100,000
per year to $107,432 per year. This change al-
lows employers to use nondiscretionary bonuses
and incentive payments (this includes commis-
sion) to satisfy up to 10 percent of the standard
salary level.
While the final rule has raised the salary
threshold, it did not change any other exempt
qualifications. To qualify as exempt from over-
time, an employee must meet two qualifications:
(1) the employee must be compensated at or
above the FLSA’s standard salary level (as set
forth above); and (2) the employee must work in
a qualified status, including executive, adminis-
trative, or professional.
The update in the rule did not change or alter
the job duties test to qualify under any of the
classifications; so the second part of the exemp-
tion, the qualified status, remains the same.
No Holding Out
You might remember that we went through this
in 2017, and many businesses proactively raised
salaries in anticipation of the change. Then the
change was blocked, leaving many businesses
stuck with having provided employees with
preemptive raises.
If you are holding out, hoping the same
block may occur, it is unlikely. The new in-
crease is much lower, and it does not appear
to have sparked the mass protest as the last
increase did.
What Businesses Should Do
To prepare for the increase, a business should
still meet the first part of the exempt test—the
salary threshold. Remember that businesses will
be able to satisfy up to 10 percent of the new
salary amount through other nondiscretionary
payments—such as commission.
Review all exempt employees to make sure
categories, including executive, administrative,
when classifying employees, the actual duties of
the employee control—not the title of the em-
ployee. While not a complete list of duties, con-
1. Executive - The employee’s primary duty
must be managing the enterprise or man-
aging a customarily recognized department
or subdivision of the enterprise.
2. Administrative - The employee’s primary
duty must be the performance of office or
non-manual work directly related to the
management or general business opera-
tions of the employer or the employer’s
customers.
3. Professional - The employee’s primary duty
must be the performance of work requiring
advanced knowledge, defined as work that
is predominantly intellectual in character
and includes work requiring the consistent
exercise of discretion and judgment;
4. Outside Sales - The employee must be cus-
tomarily and regularly engaged away from
the employer’s place or places of business.
For a complete list of duties, refer to Fact
www.iccfa.com
Sheet #17A: Exemption for Execu-
tive, Administrative, Professional,
Computer & Outside Sales Employ-
ees Under the Fair Labor Standards
Act (FLSA), U.S. Dept of Labor,
Rev Sep 2019).
Overall, as an employer, make
sure you are compliant under the
new rule. If an employee needs to
change to comply, consider talking
to the employee to see how he or she
may want to handle the change. Con-
sider additional employees as a way
to avoid potential overtime. While
Washington sees this change as a way
to give employees more money, keep
in mind that the money is coming
from your business! ❑

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www.iccfa.com December 2019 ICCFA MAGAZINE 7

PLPA Update
by Coleen A. Ellis
Coleen@TwoHeartsPetLoss
Center.com
Coleen A. Ellis is an
internationally sought-after
speaker on the topics of pet
loss and grief. She is the
founder and past co-chair of
the Pet Loss Professionals
Alliance and past president of
the International Association of
Animal Hospice and Palliative
Care. Coleen founded Two
Hearts Pet Loss Center in
2009 to guide people in
providing meaningful pet
deathcare services in their
communities. Also, in 2009,
Coleen received the first Death
and Grief Studies Certification
specializing in Pet Loss
Companioning and released
her first book, Pet Parents:A
Journey Through Unconditional
Love and Grief. Coleen is
certified in Thanatology
and is a Certified Pet Loss
Professional.
8 ICCFA MAGAZINE December 2019
The PLPA College:
A Must-Attend for Next Year
M
emphis was the site of the 2019 Pet
Loss Professionals Alliance (PLPA)
College. Deemed a success by the
attendees and vendors, alike, the college was
filled with powerful networking sessions, robust
learning opportunities, and best-practice shar-
ing with the eight vendor partners who partici-
pated in the event.
As a first-time attendee, Charla Harger,
general manager of Gracious Paws Tribute Center
and Crematory, wasn’t sure what to expect. “I en-
joyed the PLPA Conference! It was my first time
to attend so I was … greatly impressed with the
sessions that were offered and the vendors that
attended,” Charla said. “The time spent with other
‘pet people’ was a great encouragement to me
moving forward with our pet services and tribute
center here in Victoria, Texas. The contacts made
have been great and the support from PLPA lead-
ership is greatly appreciated.”
PLPA chair Roberta Knauf was proud of
the changes she’s noticed over the years. “It’s so
exciting to see the evolution of the PLPA College,”
Roberta said. “We’ve really come a long way in
the variety of presentations we offer, thanks to
input from our attendees. PLPA is committed to
offering sessions that really tackle some of the
tougher issues our attendees face as they run their
pet loss businesses.”
The 33 attendees to the 2019 college walked
away with learning immediately applicable to
their operations, whether they happened to be in
start-up mode or in existence for many years.
Among the many sessions were:
• “Knowing Your Numbers,” an incredibly
informative session by David Nixon on
understanding the financial health of an
organization.
• “From Flood to Fires” with Jodi Clock and
Roberta Knauf, who looked at the impor-
tance of having a disaster plan for a pet
operation.
• Nicole Wiedeman with Dead Ringers
knocked the attendees socks off with her pre-
sentation, “What’s Your First Impression?”
Listening to actual phone calls made to pet
operations made everyone realize just how
important that first impression can be. Many
ideas were shared on how to improve first-
call etiquette to ensure phone shoppers are
treated with patience and compassion.
• Peggy Hoyt shared an update on pet trusts.
Every pet loss operation should have work-
ing knowledge in this area, as it is an amaz-
ing marketing idea for pet lovers and pet care
professionals!
• Speaking on the legal nature of pet loss
operations, ICCFA General Counsel Poul
Lemasters always delivers. Updates on pet
loss issues and foresight into what’s brewing
in the pet industry had attendees taking
copious notes to prepare themselves in this
aspect of running a business and working
with pet parents and veterinary professionals.
Work has begun on the 2020 PLPA College to
be held in Memphis July 15–17. Using feedback
from past attendees, as well
as from those looking to at-
tend next year, the agenda is
already shaping up to include
even more learning, network-
ing, and practical application
with a variety of site visits to
local pet loss operations.
“We know the content and
the education for 2020 is go-
ing to be what every pet loss
operation wants to know,”
Roberta added. “Existing or-
ganizations to new business-
es, this will be the conference
to attend.” ❑
www.iccfa.com
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Sales & Marketing
by Katie Koewler, CPLP
katie@heartscompanion.com
After a lengthy career in
advertising, Katie Koewler,
CPLP, found her calling in
the pet loss profession. She
is a founding member and
visionary of Heart’s Companion
Pet Memorial Center, a leading
force in honoring the life shared
between pets and their families,
and an active member of the
PLPA. Katie serves as director
of marketing for Heart’s
Companion and is certified in
pet loss & grief companioning
10 ICCFA MAGAZINE December 2019
Marketing Your Pet Loss Business
N
o pet parent wants to think about his or
her pet dying. If you attempt to educate
a pet owner beforehand, you may be met
with a “don’t go there” evil eye, or a “how dare
you imply my pet is old” look. And the pet parent
might simply ignore your efforts. As pet loss
professionals, we walk a fine line with pet parents
who are in denial.
Many of us have been involved in pet crema-
tion for years (longer than we’d sometimes like
to admit), but some of us are new to the pet loss
industry, specifically to the Pet Loss Profession-
als Alliance (PLPA). No matter how long you’ve
been in the business, the challenge is connecting
with pet parents prior to a pet’s passing. There are
some well-practiced ways regarding pet loss ed-
ucation and memorialization, but there are some
key marketing tactics applicable to all industries
that I will cover in this article.
Refining Your Listening Skills
Pet parents are looking for a captive audience
to listen to their personal stories. They want to
be the focus, and the only focus. We as pet loss
professionals should be aware of that fact in our
communication with them. We need to hire em-
ployees who will give their undivided attention
to these pet parents and authentically show a true
concern for these individuals.
Ask yourself these questions:
• Are your employees actively listening to your
clients or are they just hearing what they
have to say?
• Are they taking notes on every call they
receive from a pet parent?
• Are they writing down their personal inter-
actions with the pet parent after that pet par-
ent comes to retrieve the pet after cremation?
• Do you provide your employees with a cus-
tomer relationship management program to
retain client information in case a pet parent
calls on your services again?
Keeping track of these nuggets of valuable
information will help you reach the modern 2020
consumer.
Refining Your Social Responsibility
Consumers want to see the value of their experi-
ence, so marketing your business is going to be
a whole new world in 2020. The 2020 consumer
wants to work with a business that is clearly giv-
ing back to society in meaningful ways. Today’s
and tomorrow’s consumers are looking for social
responsibility and transparency.
In 2020, consumers’ expectations will be even
higher than ever before with millennials having
officially overtaken baby boomers in the U.S.
workforce. Why is that information important?
Research has shown 87 percent of millennials
believe that the success of a business should be
measured by its impact on the world. As a result,
we need to ensure our customers are having a
positive experience with us from every point of
communication—from the first phone call or
email to the follow-up survey.
Refining Your Purpose
The key to marketing our businesses in the future
is to always show the “why we do what we do”
in every communication. How do you make this
happen? Begin with your employees. They are
your brand ambassadors. Empower them to posi-
tively engage with customers in an authentic way.
Evaluate the customer experience at your own
company by assuming the role of a customer. I
recently discovered at our own company, Heart’s
Companion Pet Memorial Center, how we could
improve our communications with the end
consumer, as well as tighten up some policies and
procedures. If you don’t have the time to evaluate
the customer experience at your own company,
it’s best to use a third-party.
Refining Your Marketing Strategy
So what’s ahead in marketing trends for 2020?
Well, it still includes live videos. In fact, they’ll
become even more prevalent. Artificial intelli-
gence (AI), such as digital assistants & chatbots,
will be key, as 50 percent of search queries in
2020 will be voice searches (i.e., Amazon’s Alexa,
Microsoft’s Cortana, Apple’s Siri, and Google
Voice Search).
Sites like Google and Facebook are constantly
changing their algorithms, so make sure you’re
refreshing your website, as this will help you with
AI. Is your website set up to respond to simple
voice searches? To get featured in voice search-
es to address users’ queries, you’ll need clear,
concise, written content that answers the question
being asked.
Keyword Strategy
Make sure your website has long-tail keywords.
So, what are long-tail keywords? If you type
“shoes” in your Google search, you’ll come up
with almost eight billion results. However, if you
type in “athletic shoes,” you’ll yield almost 600
million results.
www.iccfa.com

The point is, find out where you show
up in these searches because long-tail
keywords convert much better compared
to head keywords. Why? Competition is
lower and long-tail keywords are more
targeted. People who find your business
through long-tail keywords are prepared to
make a purchase.
It’s best to include a few long-tail key-
words in your content, whenever appli-
cable. They can be placed anywhere—the
title, content, or headings.  subjective. It’s best to base your email
Email Outreach
We all should be engaging in email mar-
keting. Research taken from 10 studies
has proven that weekdays are the best days
to send emails. Studies have shown that
the highest email open rates happen on
Tuesdays, making Thursdays the second
optimal day. Saturdays and Sundays, for
the majority of businesses, are the worst
days for email open rates.
Do keep in mind, though, that this is
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viewed. If you’re not a PLPA member,
schedule on what works best for your please become one. Don’t miss out on an
clients. opportunity to enrich your pet loss busi-
If you haven’t guessed it, marketing ness, as there will be pertinent information
our pet loss businesses is going to be more available to members on an ongoing basis.
challenging as we experience more growth As PLPA members, we have much to
in technology. The good news is that we look forward to in 2020. Join us for an
already are ahead of the game as PLPA eye-opening mock trial during the pet pro-
members when it comes to policies and gram at the 2020 ICCFA Annual Conven-
procedures. tion & Expo in San Antonio on April 2. In
We continue to follow the PLPA’s addition, mark your calendar now for our
guidelines of best business practices and PLPA College in Memphis happening July
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December 2019 ICCFA MAGAZINE 11
Sales & Marketing
by Welton Hong
welton@ringringmarketing.com
WELTON HONG is the founder
of Ring Ring Marketing® (www.
funeralhomeprofits.com) and
an expert in case generation
from online to the phone line.
He is also the author of Making
Your Phone Ring with Internet
Marketing for Funeral Homes.
12 ICCFA MAGAZINE December 2019
Seniors Are Savvier (at Tech)
than You Surmise
M
aybe you’ve never even heard of a
“smart speaker,” much less used one.
Perhaps you’d be shocked to learn
that people can make phone calls, check their
emails, and monitor their pulse rates all on a
wristwatch.
It’s possible you have no idea that people can
set their own home’s temperature from around
the world, simply by using an app on their phone
(or on the aforementioned watch).
And it’s conceivable you can’t conceive the no-
tion of 1,000 other technological wonders being
used right now by average people across America
and the world.
Don’t Overthink It
As deathcare professionals, you’ve almost certain-
ly heard of some of these technologies. You might
know how affordable and convenient they’ve
suddenly become in the last couple of years. You
might even use a couple of them yourself.
But if you’re like the majority of people I meet
in deathcare—and my apologies to those of you
who don’t meet this description—you don’t think
modern technology really applies to your audience.
Here’s what I mean: You know modern life is
full of all sorts of cool doodads and gizmos, all
of which are currently connected to “the cloud,”
but you don’t think many of these items are really
being used by the age demographics you target
for deathcare services.
The prevailing notion, if we’re all being honest
here, is that your audience is just too old for such
things.
If you’re a funeral home owner provid-
ing at-need and pre-need services, you’re not
thinking about using tech to reach someone on
a cutting-edge smartphone, such as the Samsung
Galaxy S10 or the iPhone XS Max.
If you’re a cemeterian, you’re not focused
on how you can promote your perpetual care
services through a variety of digital processes. If
you’re a cremation urn and jewelry vendor, you’re
not considering how you can leverage these new
tech innovations to sell your wares.
Again, it seems like a good idea to clarify
that I’m not referring to everyone. Just like there
are early adopters for tech devices, some for-
ward-thinking businesspeople in deathcare are
always looking for an edge.
But let’s face it: They comprise a minority. As a
whole, deathcare remains well behind the eight-
ball on accepting and leveraging the incredible
power of innovation.
That’s especially true of the Internet of Things
(IoT), which refers to the billions of physical
devices worldwide that are connected to the
internet, collecting and sharing data.
At this very moment, IoT is reconfiguring the
way life (and business) is done worldwide, yet
many people reading this article right now are
just learning about the term for the first time.
Even though I’ve written about it before. In fact, I
wrote about it in this very magazine!
This isn’t the first time I’ve tried to open
people’s minds to the fact that virtually all the
gadgets (sans transporters) from the original Star
Trek series actually exist right now. But I feel the
need to hammer on it again:
Yes, teenagers and twentysomethings are using
these technologies like crazy. But so are a whole
lot of people in their thirties and forties. And so
are a surprising number in their fifties and sixties.
And just in the past year, we’re seeing massively
increased adoption by people in their seventies
and even eighties.
Deathcare and high-tech don’t make for an
odd mix. In fact, given all the ways new tech-
nologies assist people with sight, hearing, and
mobility challenges, every major analyst in the
field anticipates skyrocketing growth among
seniors.
It’s time for everyone in deathcare—not just a
small group of visionaries—to realize the truth:
The industry’s future is incumbent upon accept-
ing and embracing the digital age.
Smartphones and Smart Speakers
We all know some seniors—a grandmother or
grandfather, possibly a great aunt or uncle—who
remains leery of technology. They’re fine with a
landline and an old-school answering machine.
Maybe they use a mobile phone, but it’s an old
flip phone, and they have it “in case of emergen-
cies.” You’ve never received a text from them, and
you never will.
www.iccfa.com
 Sure. Such people still exist. But they
are not the majority of senior Americans
today. We still have that (terribly outdated)
picture in our heads.
Please think about that for a second. It’s
not that most seniors are tech-phobic. It’s
that we keep hanging on to that old stereo-
type. We think the 70-year-olds of 2019 are
the same as the 70-year-olds from 15 or 20
years ago. And that’s absolutely wrong.
Apple CEO Tim Cook turns 59 this
year. Microsoft founder Bill Gates turns
64 this year. With all due respect to these
computing leaders, they’re not spring
chickens. They’re literally the demographic
you’re targeting.
If you’re around middle age and know
even a little about computers, there likely
was a time when you had to help your
elder parents with some pretty basic IT as-
sistance over the phone or in person. And
perhaps you still do, but they’re almost
certainly much more knowledgeable in
those areas these days.
That’s because many of them have
learned to be proficient on their smart-
phones and tablets. And why did they
become so proficient? Because the devices
make it easy to stay in touch with family
and friends, navigate unfamiliar neighbor-
hoods, plan for an upcoming vacation—
and a million other options.
The devices made their lives better, so
they took the time to learn them. It’s as
simple as that. Today’s sexagenarians and
septuagenarians aren’t the same as their
parents. Today’s seniors have seen the
power of technology and appreciate just
how beneficial it can be.
It’s convenient for people to think of
most retirees still hanging on to old-school
(non-smart) cellphones, if they have a
mobile phone at all, but that’s not true.
According to the Pew Research Center,
more than half of mobile phone users ages
65 and older use a smartphone—and that
number keeps growing steadily.
Just over 60 percent of 65– to 69-year-
www.iccfa.com December 2019 ICCFA MAGAZINE13
olds own smartphones, whereas just You need to ensure your online reputa-
over 50 percent of 70– to 74-year-olds tion is sterling, because once the vast ma-
do. While that obviously doesn’t mean jority of your target audience is regularly
everyone in the AARP crowd is using a online, reviews will tell them more about
smartphone, it is indicative of massive you than any advertising will.
adoption over just the past few years. And I could name a dozen more reasons.
it’s increasing every year. But the most important takeaway from
But at this rate, smartphones have this article is that middle-aged and older
nothing on smart speakers, particu- people—and that includes those from their
larly ones that also come with displays mid-50s to pushing 90—are opening up to
(ensuring their utility with the hearing technology far faster than many people re-
impaired). alize. Don’t let them get away just because
These devices would be the Next Big you’re not ready to evolve. ❑
Thing if not for the fact that they’re already
here and already incredibly popular with
older users. When smart speakers are
paired with other smart devices around
the home, seniors with mobility issues can
use the devices to control lights, locks, and
the thermostat, for example. All the user
has to do is speak.
Additionally, users can set medication
reminders on the devices or order grocery
deliveries (or even have hot food deliv-
ered). That’s all in addition to features such
as live video chat with family members
around the world.
What This Means for You
You can’t ignore the writing on the wall
any longer. Traditional types of media still
exist, certainly, but as digital media keeps
becoming easier to enjoy by people in the
deathcare demographic, you’ll need to put
more focus there.
Voice search is becoming a total
game-changer with seniors. You’ll need to
optimize your marketing efforts for voice
search so that your deathcare business can
be easily found (and attractively described)
when someone searches for your services
over a smart speaker or other voice search
method.
You need to be prepared to fight for the
best position on search engine results pag-
es, both by ranking high in organic search
and getting great exposure with pay-per-
click (PPC) ads.
Never Having
Say
14 ICCFA MAGAZINE December 2019 www.iccfa.com
 S ECOND ONLY PERHAPS TO A FAMILY MEMBER, the loss of a
beloved pet can be one of the most heart-wrenching and emotional challenges we
experience. To say goodbye to that devoted little creature, who has been there day-
in and day-out, good times and bad, never asking for anything but love from us, is one of the
hardest things we’ll ever have to do.
But what if we never actually had to say goodbye? ViaGen Pets began sharing its cloning expertise back in
Thanks to incredible advances in modern science, pet parents 2002 with a focus on horses and livestock. It wasn’t long, how-
actually have alternatives to burial and cremation when their ever, before ViaGen began responding to the ever-growing
sweet cat or devoted dog reaches the end of their earthly lives. demand to preserve smaller breeds—adored pets.
Two of the most appealing (and popular) options are offered by “We began providing pet cloning services for dogs and cats in
ViaGen Pets & Equine and Anthony Eddy’s Wildlife Studio. 2015,” says ViaGen Pets client services representative Codi Lamb.
“Our biggest goal, and likewise greatest struggle, is trying to make
Duplicating Devotion: ViaGen Pets sure people are aware that this is even an option,” Codi points out.
Ever since we were introduced to Dolly the sheep back in “Too often we will hear, ‘Oh my gosh, I would have loved
1996, our collective imaginations have considered the pos- to have had my little dog cloned but he passed away five years
sibilities of cloning. Well, nearly a quarter of a century later, ago.’ This is heartbreaking for us because, of course, there is
pet cloning has actually become a viable alternative to the a limited window of time between when the pet passes away
forever farewell. and we are able to retrieve the necessary tissue.”

to
Goodbye
by Susan Cushing

The ‘Forever’ Family Pet

www.iccfa.com December 2019

2019 ICCFA
ICCFA MAGAZINE 15
 As Codi explains, the tissue retrieval process is rela-
tively simple. “It’s really a very small skin tissue biopsy,
four millimeters or about half the size of a pea. This is
done either when the pet is still alive or immediately
following its passing. We need to receive the samples
within five days of passing. We put this sample into a
cell culture allowing the living cells within the tissue to
grow and multiply. We keep these preserved until the
client is ready to proceed with the cloning.”
When that time comes, the process continues with
the creation of an embryo, which is then carried to
full term within a receptive dog or cat womb. The new
puppy or kitten remains within the loving care of the
ViaGen Pets staff until it reaches its eighth week at
which time the animal goes home to its family.
According to Codi, the results have been nothing
short of astounding.
“The feedback that we receive is that the personalities
of these cloned pets are pretty spot on,” she says. “They
tell us of unique quirks this pet shares with the original.
What’s interesting is that we’ve had clients who will ac-
tually get two puppies, and they tell us the puppies have
some unique characteristics that they don’t share with
each other but they do with their genetic donor.”
Keeping in mind that cloning is still relatively new
with a definite futuristic aspect, Codi says that Via-
Gen Pets provides a significant amount of counseling
prior to actually proceeding with the cloning process.
While their results have been excellent, there can
be no guarantees since, as Codi points out, “It’s not
only genetics but also environmental aspects that will
impact a pet’s personality.”
Hundreds of satisfied clients are happy to share
their experiences with the ViaGen team.
16 ICCFA MAGAZINE December 2019
“It gave me so much comfort to know that I would see her
again with the new kitten. Just seeing that two-month-old kit-
ten overwhelmed me with joy,” writes one cat cloning client.
“My advice to pet owners that are thinking about cloning is
not give it a second thought and prepare to have an even
deeper love and connection. I think after going through
the process my love deepened, and I grew closer to my dog
and the cloned puppies, which is something I didn’t expect,”
writes a client whose dog was cloned.
In fact, this procedure has become quite popular
among Hollywood elites and other famous person-
alities, most notably Barbra Streisand, who made the
sojourn to the ViaGen Pets facilities in Texas in the
hopes of cloning one of her precious Coton de Tulear
dogs. It was important to the singer to recreate this
particular pup, which—unlike what is considered
typical of the breed—had curly hair.
The cloning successfully produced several pup-
pies—two of which Streisand gave to friends while
keeping two, which she named Miss Scarlett and
Miss Violet.
Although the cost of genetic preservation is some-
what reasonable, currently $1,600, the expense of
cloning can range from $35,000 to $85,000, depending
on the animal.
[Cloning] has become quite
popular among Hollywood elites
… most notably Barbra Streisand,
who made the sojourn to the
ViaGen facilities … in the hopes
of cloning one of her precious
Coton de Tulear dogs.
Asleep by the Fire: Wildlife Studio
Another popular option, and one that is considerably
more affordable than the cloning option, is provided
by the skilled and caring hands at Anthony Eddy’s
Wildlife Studio. This unassuming enterprise tucked
away in the quiet town of Slater, MO, has found a
method that improves upon traditional taxidermy
known as the freeze-dry process.
While certainly a sophisticated, lengthy, and la-
bor-intensive endeavor, the results are remarkable. In
fact, it’s nearly impossible to detect which of the “pets”
scattered around Eddy’s studio are living and which
ones are actually preserved.
Most of us are at least somewhat familiar with
freeze-drying in relation to preserving perishables,
such as fruits and vegetables. By removing water, the
www.iccfa.com
resulting product becomes stable without fear of decay
or alterations to its original form.
According to Shane Eddy, his uncle, Anthony
Eddy, first began using this unique process on animals
back in 1984. It wasn’t until around 1990 that a local
taxidermist contacted him with a special request—to
preserve a recently deceased dog.
“Of course, we were already doing squirrels,
white-tailed deer, and rabbits, and it was a small dog,
so we thought, why not?” Shane recalls. “We’re doing
these other small animals and there’s not any differ-
ence between a fox pup and a small pet. The owner
[of the dog] was quite pleased and it’s just kind of
grown from there.”
According to the Wildlife Studio’s website, this
highly specialized field of taxidermy makes use of
large freeze-dry machines that remove the moisture
from the specimen while it remains frozen. This
process allows a pet’s natural body and bone structure
to remain intact. The individual characteristics, body,
and facial features are barely disturbed.
While it sounds simple, many steps must be me- The freeze-drying process is a lengthy
ticulously completed before a pet is ready to pose and
freeze-dry.
one and requires painstaking attention in
Shane says that much of his business was local until order to recreate the lifelike embodiment
the World Wide Web drew attention to it. “Many of
our clients are referred to us by local taxidermists who
of the beloved pet.
we have worked with in the past or from our website,”
he continues. “Before the internet became so popular,
it was primarily word of mouth.” follow instructions and a hard plastic container that is
Numerous clients have written to Shane expressing guaranteed to keep contents frozen up to five days at
their appreciation. 90-degree temperatures.
The freeze-drying process is a lengthy one and
“I am thankful [for] this procedure that has allowed
requires painstaking attention in order to recreate the
[Poppi] to be back home with me. I miss her tremendously
lifelike embodiment of the beloved pet. “We typically
and feel that having her back helps fill part of that void. I
handle about 130 pets a year,” says Shane.
was nervous at first thinking I would not be able to handle
“We ask that our clients provide us with photos
her, just laying there, but after the initial return and tears,
of the pet, preferably in a resting or sleeping pose,”
I do not regret having this procedure done. She is where she
Shane adds. “While we do have clients who specifically
belongs,” writes one pet owner.
request a pose with eyes open, I think the sleeping
“When Molly arrived at our house after several months scenario is better,” he opines. “To me, those with eyes
with you—we were so excited—but a little apprehensive to open seem to take on a doll-like appearance after some
see her again… but the second we saw her, tears of com- time. But we try to accommodate whatever the pet
plete joy came to all of us. It was as if she had never been owner wants and do our best to recreate that beloved
gone—we had Molly in our lives for 18 ½ years and now pet for them to go on enjoying for many years.”
she will be with us forever,” writes a beagle owner.
Lasting Tribute
Like Codi Lamb, Shane notes that the saddest Whether Fido’s clone is romping around the backyard
part of his business is when he has to explain to a pet or serenely posed in a beautiful freeze-dried state by
owner that he or she has waited too long. “We’ll fre- the fire, the option of keeping a beloved pet is a grow-
quently get calls from people whose pet passed maybe ing phenomenon around the world.
a week ago, but they just found out about this process,” Two innovative companies, ViaGen Pets and
he says. “Unfortunately, if they haven’t immediately Anthony Eddy’s Wildlife Studio, are examples of the
frozen the pet, it’s too late. We hope to get them frozen best of these. Visit www.viagenpets.com and www.
within 12 hours of passing.” pet-animalpreservation.com to learn more. ❑
Shane offers those who contact him in advance of SUSAN CUSHING is a freelance writer for the ICCFA
the pet’s death a shipping kit consisting of easy-to- Magazine.

www.iccfa.com December 2019 ICCFA MAGAZINE17

by Martin Scott Kosins
 I f you’ve ever loved an animal, there are three
days in your life you will always remember.
• THE FIRST is a day, blessed with happiness, when you bring home
your young new friend. You may have spent weeks deciding on a breed.
You may have asked numerous opinions of many vets, or done long
research in finding a breeder.
Or, perhaps in a fleeting moment, you may have just chosen that silly
looking mutt in a shelter—simple because something in its eyes reached
your heart.
But when you bring that chosen pet home, and watch it explore, and
claim its special place in your hall or front room—and when you feel it
brush against you for the first time—it instills a feeling of pure love you
will carry with you through the many years to come.
• THE SECOND is a day that will occur eight, nine, or 10 years later. It
will be a day like any other. Routine and unexceptional. But, for a surpris-
ing instant, you will look at your longtime friend and see age where you
once saw youth. You will see slow deliberate steps where you once saw
energy. And you will see sleep when you once saw activity.
So you will begin to adjust your friend’s diet—and you may add a pill
or two to his or her food. You may feel a growing fear deep within your-
self, which bodes of a coming emptiness. And you will feel this uneasy
feeling, on and off, until the third day finally arrives.
• THE THIRD is the day—if your friend and God have not decided for
you—you will be faced with making a decision of your own, on behalf of
your lifelong friend, and with the guidance of your own deepest Spirit.
But whichever way your friend eventually leaves you, you will feel as
alone as a single star in the dark night.
If you are wise, you will let the tears flow as freely and as often as they
must. And if you are typical, you will find that not many in your circle of
family or friends will be able to understand your grief, or comfort you.
But if you are true to the love of the pet you cherished through the many
joy-filled years, you may find that a soul—a bit smaller in size than your
own—seems to walk with you, at times, during the lonely days to come.
And at moments when you least expect anything out of the ordinary to
happen, you may feel something brush against your leg—very, very lightly.
Looking down at the place where your dear, perhaps dearest, friend
used to lay, you will remember those three significant days. The memory
will most likely to be painful, and leave an ache in your heart. As time
passes, the ache will come and go as if it has a life of its own.
You will reject it and embrace it, and it may confuse you. If you reject
it, it will depress you. If you embrace it, it will deepen you. Either way, it
will still be an ache.
• But there will be, I assure you, A FOURTH day when—along with the
memory of your pet and piercing through the heaviness in your heart—
there will come a realization that belongs only to you. It will be as unique
and strong as our relationship with each animal we have loved—and lost.
This realization takes the form of a Living Love. Like the heavenly
scent of a rose that remains after the petals have wilted, this Love will
remain and grow and be there for us to remember.
It is a love we have earned. It is the legacy our pets leave us when they
go. And it is a gift we may keep with us as long as we live. It is a Love that
is ours alone. And until we ourselves leave, perhaps to join our Beloved
Pets, it is a Love we will always possess. ❑

www.iccfa.com December 2019 ICCFA MAGAZINE19

 Coping with
Today’s
Language
Emojis, Memojis,
Animojis, Idioms,
Slang & Profanity
by Todd Van Beck, CFuE

20 ICCFA MAGAZINE December 2019 www.iccfa.com

 W
ords can elevate the human
experience to the noblest
of altruism and dignity;
likewise, words can corrupt and taint
the human experience to levels of
debasement and cruelty that leave
this historian speechless.
Words can change the course of history—even small phrases with
few words can alter the course of human events in profound ways. For
instance, if I write the words, “In the beginning,” I really don’t have to
complete that sentence because those three words from the Old Testa-
ment have set the narrative for over 5,000 years.
“Four score and seven years ago” are six simple words that resonate
with generations of Americans describing what it is to be an American.
President Abraham Lincoln could have easily written, “Eighty-seven
years ago.” Clearly with a beginning like this, the history books might
have totally ignored the Gettysburg Address.
Today, the concept of words seems to be in a type of identification
crisis. Words are no longer words but symbols, abbreviations, and a
­series of letters with no rhyme or reason (unless you happen to know
what they mean). For example:

• 2G4U—Too Good For You And it gets even more com-

• AWHFY—Are We Having
Fun Yet?
• AYPI—And Your Point Is?
• GAL—Get a Life
• GMTA—Great Minds Think
Alike
• J4F—Just For Fun
• KISS—Keep it Simple, Stupid
• QL—Quit Laughing!
• RUOK—Are you Okay?
• SITD—Still In the Dark
• TIC—Tongue in Cheek
• WYSIWYG—What You See
Is What You Get
• YYSSW—Yeah Yeah Sure
Sure Whatever
• ZZZ—Sleeping, Bored, Tired
This may be the longest one yet:
• AWGTHTGTTA—Are
We Going To Have To Go
Through That Again?
plicated once punctuation marks
and symbols are added:
• :) or :-)—smiley face
• O:-)—angelic smile
• 8-)—big-eyed smile
• :-X—big kiss
• :-{}—blowing a kiss
• :.(—crying face
• :->—grinning
• :-|—indifferent, bored
• :-))—laughing
• =:-)—punk
• :-(—sad face
• :-D—shock or surprise
• :-r—sticking tongue out
• B:-)—sunglasses on head
• :-||—very angry
• :-><—puckered up to kiss
• 8-|—wide-eyed surprise
• ;-)—winking
• :-O – yelling

www.iccfa.com December 2019 ICCFA MAGAZINE21

 To add even more fun, or frustration, to the act of is a strong word, but “perspiration” is weak. Let’s take
communicating, we now have the use of cartoon-like the simple word “death” for instance. Here is what the
stickers called emojis, memojis, and animojis. More English language has come up with to buffer the true
than 200 emojis, alone, were added in 2019, and all reality of the word:
smart phones have the ability to use them, as well as • Ate It
many of the social media websites. And, boy do people • Belly Up
use them! • Bit The Dust
Because of the vast number of these cartoon-like • Bought the Farm
stickers, people now have the option of not typing • Bumped Off
words at all but using just these images to say what’s • Called Home
on their minds. Include the ability to add voice and • Cashed In
personalization (e.g., memojis and animojis), and • Checked Out
we’ve now been reduced to talking cartoon heads! • Croaked
• Crossed The Bar
Words? What to Do? • Dead Meat
The nuance of words is such a complicated process • Deader Than a Doornail
that no one publication has even been able to list all • Departed
the words in use across the globe. • Dirt Nap
Webster’s Third New International Dictionary, Un- • Done For
abridged, together with its 1993 Addenda Section, in- • Expired
cludes some 470,000 entries. Just recently, words such • Final Curtain Call
as, vacay (short for vacation), sesh (short for session), • Flat line
and fabulosity (defined as fabulous quality), have been • Gave Up the Ghost
added to the dictionary. • Gone to the Happy Hunting Ground
• Goner
Words make a difference, and … all of us • Got a One-Way Ticket
• Curtains
are required on a daily basis to use actual • Kicked the Bucket
words, not computer keyboard symbols, • Passed Away
• Pushing Up Daisies
lines of random letters, or animated • Rubbed Out
cartoon faces to communicate. • Six Feet Under
• Sleeping With the Fishes
• Snuffed Out
Now let’s add in the world of cemetery and • Stiff
funeral service, and the subject of “words” has • Swan Song
just become much more complicated. It appears • Taking a Dirt Nap
safe to say that the words used in our profession • Terminated
ARE NOT the common, ordinary, normal words • The Last Roundup
used by common, ordinary, normal people. • Wacked
Next time you are out to dinner with non-cemetery • Wasted
and/or funeral people, ask if they’ve ever heard of
these words: retort, trocar, gauge, Porti-Boy, church The DON’Ts to Avoid
truck, cavity fluid, or hardening compound. Based on The normal, common, ordinary human being finds the
their expressions, you’ll get the idea. funeral and cemetery service industry to be not only
Words make a difference, and while we can use unique but mysterious (and this is not a criticism, just
LOL to mean laugh out loud, all of us are required on a truth). So what can we do to help improve our use of
a daily basis to use actual words, not computer key- words in our communications in order to educate, ad-
board symbols, lines of random letters, or animated vise, and aid those who seek our services? The following
cartoon faces to communicate. DON’Ts are some ideas that might prove helpful:
• Don’t be so technical. The use of technical
Cut the Confusion language in our profession is truly confusing to
Communication confusion can result when we gloss those who don’t use it every day. Using technical
over negative concepts, such as referring to taxation as language risks alienating the very listeners with
“revenue enhancement.” But perhaps the greatest dam- whom you want to communicate. Worse yet,
age done by euphemistic languages is that it weakens using technical language can easily result in your
the images provided to listeners—for example, “sweat” listener judging you as being inconsiderate.

22 ICCFA MAGAZINE December 2019 www.iccfa.com

 • Don’t use idioms. Idioms are the language that
is peculiar to a people or community. Idioms can
be colorful, but also confusing to outsiders; for
instance in East Boston, marinara sauce is called
“gravy.” When using idioms among some listen-
ers, your childhood or regional idioms can nega-
tively impact the success of your communication.
• Don’t use slang. Here is a general guideline: If
a word is not in the dictionary, use care in using
it—especially when it is important to make a
positive first impression.
• Don’t use profanity. The impact you may gain
with an off-color remark can be more than offset
by the offense taken. The risk is that most people
in an audience who are offended will not com-
plain to you directly—they just will share their
negative opinions with everybody else.
• Don’t overuse office or company-specific phras-
es. Keep the funeral home cemetery terms where
they serve a useful purpose—in the office. I re-
member a funeral director who could rattle off the
code names of every casket made. I was astounded
as I couldn’t keep the casket names straight to save
my soul. However, one day, this funeral director
was standing in the foyer of the funeral home, and
as one of the employees walked by, he proclaimed
in a loud voice, “They are going to deliver a R2-
D2 Rose Tan this afternoon.” After this funeral
director had left, one of the outside guests who had
overheard him went to the receptionist and asked,
“What is an R2-D2 Rose Tan?” The receptionist
sheepishly explained that it was a casket, and the
outsider stared and said, “Oh my, I didn’t realize
they gave names to caskets, how strange.”
• Don’t use red flag words. These are words that
elicit a strong emotional reaction. There was a
long “L” shaped hallway in this particular funeral
home. The bereaved family was sitting at one end
of the hallway out of sight of anyone who came
into the building from the other end of the hall-
way. Two of our staff members had been called
by the county coroner to make the removal and
transfer of a badly decomposed body. When our
people returned to the funeral home, they entered
the building from the opposite end of the hallway
where the bereaved family was quietly waiting.
One of the removal team members in a highly
audible voice announced, “Yep, that was a bad
decomp!” When the funeral director escorted this
family into the arrangement office, the last thing
on their minds was making arrangements—all
they wanted to talk about was the “bad decomp.”
• Don’t use vague or abstract language. Have
you ever tried to explain to anyone what a 20 ga.
casket is? “Well sir, it is the number of sheets of
a particular metal that it takes to make one inch
of that metal.” Huh? “So a 20 numbered casket is
www.iccfa.com
“Yep, that was a bad decomp!” When
the funeral director escorted this
family into the arrangement office, the
last thing on their minds was making
arrangements—all they wanted to talk
about was the bad decomp.
thicker than a 16 numbered casket,
since 20 is greater than 16?” “Well,
no, sir, let me explain it again.”
Good luck.
• Don’t use overly complex words. It
is a mistake to believe that a $50 word is
better than a $5 word. I have discovered that
the more pompous words are, the more communi-
cative they are not. When I was in seminary, I was
talking to my mother on the phone and she asked
me what we were studying; my response was: “We
are studying the hermeneutical principle.” I did
that because I wanted to be important, but my poor
mother didn’t have a clue what I was talking about.
If I had just said to her that we were studying reli-
gion, it would have been quite sufficient. In truth,
I was wishing to proscribe the superfluous (now
there is a $50 word) display of my stellar vocabu-
lary to my mother.
• Don’t use clichés or trite language. Using trite
or hackneyed phrases like “okey dokey” causes us
to appear trite or hackneyed. I used “okey dokey”
so much when I was making funeral arrange-
ments that I didn’t even know I was doing it, until
one widow called me out on it. She said bluntly,
“Enough with the okey dokey, enough!”
People are imperfect, and part of our imperfections
is the slip-ups we all make using “words.” However, by
being sensitive and aware of some of the pitfalls that
we all face at times, possibly our communication with
others can and will improve. We can all do better …
TVB, most of all! ❑
TODD W. VAN BECK, CFUE, vanbeck@guptoncollege.edu,
is one of the most sought-after speakers and educators
in funeral service. He serves as director of continuing
education for John A. Gupton College in Nashville, and
as dean of ICCFA University’s College of Funeral Home
Management. In 2014, Todd received the first-ever Lasting
Impact Award from the ICCFA Educational Foundation.
Todd has written numerous books, among them are
Exploring the Heart of Funeral Service, Reverence for the
Dead: The Unavoidable Link, and The Genius of Frank E.
Campbell, all of which are on Amazon.
December 2019 ICCFA MAGAZINE 23
 Putting
Closure on
the Use of the Word

‘Closure’
Grief
in
by Alan D. Wolfelt, PhD

24 ICCFA MAGAZINE December 2019 www.iccfa.com

 “If you are seeking a time when you will be
finished, you will never be done.”
– Tibetan saying

I
N THESE CONTEMPORARY TIMES, you may be led to believe that you need to
achieve “closure” after the death of someone in your life. As a matter of fact, you may have
already experienced someone approaching you and asking, “Have you had closure yet?”
In fact, “closure” as an end goal in grief is such a common misconception that many people
have thoroughly internalized it. If we don’t challenge this misconception, we are at risk for
considering it a given—and we will no doubt struggle when we find that we’re unable to cross
the mythical finish line. Why aren’t we reaching closure? Is there something wrong with us?

In our society, for a multitude of reasons, we may
lose patience with our grief when we really need to be
self-compassionate because of:
• Our need to try to put a happy face on things
even when we should have proper sorrows of
the soul;
• Our lack of understanding of the role of hurt,
pain, and suffering in the healing process;
• A desire for instant gratification;
• Short social norms for mourning;
• A lack of knowledge about grief and the need to
mourn; and
• The inappropriate application of linear
timeframes.
Closure: The Impossible
For too many people, closure means leaving grief be-
hind and “putting the past in the past.” Sadly, it often
reflects how people around you want to “move on
with life,” even to the extent of inviting you to deny or
ignore your grief entirely.
Yet, when someone precious dies, this inappropriate
goal of closure is not only impossible but undesirable.
Just think: If we so completely detached from our life
losses, we would not only close the door on the pain, we
would cut off our connection to those who go before us.
No, nothing is wrong with us. What’s wrong is the
goal of closure. The truth is that we as humans do not
get over grief. There is no shutting the door. There is
no tidy resolution or total sense of completion. There
is no discrete end point. Just as love goes on, so, too,
does grief.
While it is true that when someone we love dies,
the death ends our experience of live, bodily presence
with that person, but our love for that person and our
missing that person go on. As the body is being laid to
rest—an event that is sometimes associated with “clo-
sure”—we are just getting acquainted with our grief
and our needs of mourning.
But there is hope! There is something we can work to
experience in our grief. When we actively mourn—by
taking our grief from the inside to the outside, we are
working toward healing. We are moving and changing.
Over time and with the support of others, to mourn
actively and regularly is to find ways to integrate loss
into our continued living. Remember that our grief
comes with us; we don’t “leave it behind.” There is no
closure, but there is what I call “reconciliation.”
Reconciliation Instead of Closure
Reconciling our grief means integrating our new real-
ity of a life without the physical presence of the person
who died. Not just surviving, but really living, even
thriving. It typically takes months and years of hard
work to get there.
You very slowly, with no rewards for speed, begin
to perceive a life different from what you had planned,
a life where you are able to acknowledge the death
while remembering the life. We are well-served to
remember that it is a cliché to say, “Time heals all

www.iccfa.com December 2019 ICCFA MAGAZINE25


Engage in the Work
of Mourning
To heal in grief is to become whole again, to integrate your
grief into yourself and to learn to continue your changed life
with fullness and meaning. Experiencing a new and changed
“wholeness” requires that you engage in the work of mourning.
It doesn’t happen to you; you must stay open to that which has
broken you. Healing is a holistic concept that embraces the
physical, cognitive, emotional, social, and spiritual realms. Note
that healing is not the same as curing, which is a medical term
that means “remedying” or “correcting.” You cannot correct
your grief, but you can heal it.
wounds.” As a matter of fact, grief waits on welcome,
not time.
With reconciliation comes a renewed sense of
energy and confidence and a capacity to become
re-involved in the activities of the living. There is also
an acknowledgment that pain and grief are difficult,
yet necessary, parts of life. While it still demands your
attention, you are not crippled by it.
As the experience of reconciliation unfolds, you will
recognize that life is and will continue to be dramati-
cally different without the presence of the person who
died. We come to reconciliation in our grief journeys
when the full reality of the
death becomes a part of us.
Beyond an intellectual What had been
working through of the death,
there is also an emotional and
understood at the “head”
spiritual working through. level is now understood
What had been understood at
the “head” level is now under-
at the “heart” level.
stood at the “heart” level.
To choose the path that leads to reconciliation re-
quires that you first descend, not transcend. You don’t
get to go around or above or below your grief. You
must go through it. And while you are going through
it, you must also find ways to continually express it if
you are to integrate it into your heart and soul.
You will find that as you begin to reach toward rec-
onciliation, the sharp, ever-present pain of grief will
26 ICCFA MAGAZINE December 2019
give rise to a renewed sense of meaning and purpose.
Your feelings of loss will never completely disappear,
of course, yet they will soften, and the intense pangs of
grief will become less frequent.
Hope for a continued life will emerge as you are
able to make commitments to the future, realizing that
the person who died will never be forgotten but that
your life can and must continue. The unfolding of this
journey is not intended to create a return to an “old
normal” but instead a recognition of transformation:
“an entire change in form.”
Signs of Reconciliation
To help you explore where you might be on the path
to reconciliation, I’ve created the list below. You don’t
have to check each item for incremental healing to be
taking place.
Reconciliation is an ongoing process. In fact, if you
are early in your work of mourning, you may not rec-
ognize any of these signs. Regardless, this list will give
you a way to monitor your movement toward healing,
and trust that if you are actively mourning, you are on
the path of integrating this transformative experience
into your life.
• A recognition of the reality and finality of the death.
• A return to the stable eating and sleeping patterns.
• A renewed sense of release from the person
who has died. You will have thoughts about the
person, but you will not be preoccupied by these
thoughts.
• The capacity to enjoy experiences in life that are
normally enjoyable.
• The establishment of new and healthy
relationships.
• The capacity to live a full life without feelings of
guilt or lack of self-respect.
• The drive to organize
and plan for the future.
• The serenity to become
comfortable with the
way things are rather
than attempting to make
things as they were.
• The versatility to welcome
more change in your life.
• The awareness that you have challenged yourself
to mourn heroically—and you have survived.
• The awareness that you do not “get over” your
grief; instead, you have a new reality, meaning,
and purpose in your life.
• The acquaintance with new parts of yourself that
you have discovered in your grief journey.
• The adjustment to new role changes that may
www.iccfa.com

have resulted from the loss of your relationship.
• The acknowledgment that the pain of loss is an
inherent part of life resulting from the ability to
give and receive love.
Reconciliation Requires Time
Reconciliation does not happen all at once. Instead,
it emerges much in the way grass grows. Usually, we
don’t check our lawns daily to see if the grass is grow-
ing, but it does grow, and soon we come to realize that
it is time to mow the grass again.
Likewise, we don’t look at ourselves each day as
mourners to see how we are healing. Yet we do come
to realize, over the course of months and years, that we
have come a long way.
One of my greatest teachers, C.S. Lewis, wrote in A
Grief Observed about grief symptoms as they eased on
his journey to reconciliation. “There was no sudden,
striking, and emotional transition,” he wrote. “Like the
warming of a room or the coming of daylight, when
you first notice them, they have already been going on
for some time.”
On the path to healing, there usually is not one
great moment of “arrival” but rather myriad subtle
changes and small achievements. It is helpful to have
gratitude for every small step along the way.
If you are beginning to taste your food again, be
thankful. If you mustered the energy to meet you
friends for lunch, be grateful. If you finally got a good
night’s sleep, rejoice.
www.iccfa.com December 2019 ICCFA MAGAZINE27
On the path to healing, there
usually is not one great moment
of “arrival” but rather myriad
subtle changes and small
achievements. It is helpful to
have gratitude for every small
step along the way.
Of course, you will also take steps backward from
time to time on the path to healing, but that is to be ex-
pected. Keep believing in yourself. Recommit each day
to your quest to reconcile your grief and have hope that
you can and will come to live and love fully again.
I hope you’ll join me in my efforts to put closure
on the use of the word “closure” in grief. The next time
someone asks whether you are reaching closure, tell that
person that there’s no such thing. The conversation that
ensues will help both of you—and our world. ❑
DR. ALAN WOLFELT serves as director of the Center
for Loss and Life Transition and is a member of the Taps
Advisory Board. He has written many books that help
people mourn, including Healing Your Grieving Heart After
a Military Death (coauthored with Taps President Bonnie
Carroll). Visit www.centerforloss.com to learn more about
grief and to order Dr. Wolfelt’s books.
2020 ICCFA Annual
Convention & Expo
Don’t miss Dr. Alan Wolfelt,
Tuesday, March 31
KEYNOTE: “Exploring the Significance of
Permanent Placement: Understanding and
Teaching the WHY”
 Aloha, Ahui hou, Mahalo,
Pomaika’i A hui hou kakou
Remembering a Comrade
Former ICCFA President Scott R. Sells, CCFE passed away
September 29, 2019, and was laid to rest October 4, 2019, at Oak Hill
Memorial Park in San Jose, CA. The dress was casual Aloha wear in
honor of Scott, including a luau that followed the service, featuring
traditional Hawaiian dancers.
Scott served as ICCFA president from 2017 to 2018. He also
served as the market director for Service Corporation International.
ICCFA members may also recognize Scott from his work as co-chair
for the 2014 Annual Convention & Expo and his untiring work on
behalf of our nation’s veterans.
During his ICCFA presidency, Scott established the ICCFA
Veterans Committee to bring recognition to service men and women
In Memory of
in the profession, as well as support efforts to welcome more
veterans to a career in deathcare.
Known for his easy-going and positive outlook, you always knew Scott R. Sells
you were in the right place when you heard Scott’s hearty laugh. We 1962-2019
will miss that laugh.

A Eulogy
by Andy Lopez

Many of you know the fun loving, loud laughing, disruptive contrarian, sushi loving,
sake drinking, lovable teddy bear, and dedicated SCI employee, Scott R. Sells.
Scott, the “life of the party”: When I say the “life of It wasn’t because he was the one doing all the partying,
the party,” I need to elaborate, because Scott was it was because everywhere we went, people gravitated to
about a lot more than partying. him and wanted to be around him.
I’ve traveled all across the U.S. with Scott, and no matter You see, one of the things that was very special about
where we would be, people would come and sit with him, Scott was his uncanny ability to walk in to a room and com-
talk with him, and drink with him. mand the attention of everybody in it—with just his laugh.

28 ICCFA MAGAZINE December 2019 www.iccfa.com

 There are people who have begun careers, have grown
their businesses, and have met their spouses all because
Scott introduced one person to another who otherwise
probably wouldn’t have met.
He connected people and created good times because of it.
And if we’re going to honor this memory, we can’t let
the party end here. We need to continue his legacy and
continue to do what he did for others.
Scott, the leader: Scott was not just a guy who knew
his stuff; it went beyond that. He was a determined
coach who was focused, who wanted to win
championships, and who demanded the very best of
his people every single day.
Scott loved the book, The Art of War, and there’s a great
quote in the book that really embodies how he led:
“Victorious warriors win first, and then go to war”—Tzu
Anyone who has ever worked with Scott in this this
profession I’m sure has heard him say, “You’re not ready.”
He meticulously coached you, trained you, and developed
you, so you would be prepared for whatever came your way.
Scott developed leaders and showed them how to win.
Now some of his methods may have been confusing
and frustrating and absolutely maddening at times. But he
was the master of strategy—politically and mentally.
Scott, the brother: He’s a brother to many of us
because his loyalty went beyond work. He took
the time to invest in people because he cared
about them.
Scott wasn’t just a leader to me, he was my best friend. He
was my confidant, he was my resource for logic, he was my
shrink, and he was my protector.
You can question a man’s character all day long, but you
can’t question a man’s loyalty.
Loyalty, Camaraderie, Honor—these words were his
Motto.
With Scott, you could always be honest, because like a
true brother, he would coach you through your failures, he
was there for you when you cried, and he would pick you
up when you fell.
His love was so big, it wrapped around the globe.
I am better today than when I first met Scott, because I
trusted him to guide me the right way.
Scott, the family man: That brotherhood he instilled in
us and that blind trust we placed in him has given us a
huge responsibility, and that responsibility is to look
after his family now.
He was extremely proud of his daughter, Isabella, and
always spoke about how she reminded him of himself.
www.iccfa.com
Tropical flowers were in abundance during Scott
Sells’ Celebration of Life at Oak Hill Memorial Park.
And he was so proud to tell us about his wife, Lina, and
how intelligent she was, her decorating skills, and how
beautifully she played piano.
Scott, the friend: One of Scott’s greatest gifts was his
ability to connect with people and become friends.
I’ve received hundreds of messages from people
on social media, people I’ve never met, who were
touched at some point by his friendship.
Scott had this way of making every single person he met
feel like he or she was a friend. It didn’t matter how many
times he had met them, or how much time he had spent
with them, he had this gift for connecting with people and
being memorable.
And he was the one friend I could communicate with
non-verbally because our bond and the time we spent to-
gether was unmatched by any other friendship I’ve ever had.
This isn’t just a personal loss for so many of us, this is a
loss that changes us and will change the world of funeral
service as we know it.
His impact was truly that big.
Scott lived his life the way he wanted. And he wouldn’t
have been happy living it any other way. He was someone I
admired dearly and will miss every day for the rest of my life.
I’ll leave you with this quote from one of Scott’s favorite
idols, John Wayne:
“I have tried to live my life so that my family would love me
and my friends respect me. The others can do whatever the
hell they please.”
ANDY LOPEZ, regional vice president of sales (Western/Pacific),
StoneMor Partners, LP, delivered the eulogy at Scott’s service. 
Donations for the Sgt. Scott R. Sells Memorial Scholarship
can be sent directly to Save the Brave to support a
scholarship in his name for qualified veterans or children of
veteran families. Visit https://savethebrave.org/donate-2/
December 2019 ICCFA MAGAZINE 29
 That Familiar Laugh
by Todd W. Van Beck, CFuE

I
have been introduced to and have worked
with thousands of funeral and cemetery
professionals across the globe. Every so
often, I have encountered a person who
leaves such a lasting impression and exhibits
such high qualities of character, mission, and
substance that an immediate impression of
admiration and respect is created.

Such was my fortunate experience in knowing our

good buddy, Scott Sells.
My heart sank when I received the call that Scott had
died. I sighed and just shook my head. A great human
being and one of the absolute greats in the funeral and
cemetery service profession had died.
That day was indeed a gloomy day in my life, and I
know it was in the lives of thousands of cemetery and
funeral professionals worldwide.
Who Was Scott Sells?
What adjectives can I use to describe Scott Sells? Gentle
giant, practitioner extraordinaire, leader, teacher, friend,
really nice person, fun, entertaining, smart as hell, dedi-
Andy Lopez and Scott Sells share a ten-gallon hat moment during
the 2017 ICCFA Annual Convention & Expo.
ICCFA President Mike Uselton (2016–17) passes the gavel to newly
installed President Scott Sells (2017–18).
cated, loved his family, professional guide—the list could
easily go on and on.
The uniqueness of Scott Sells will elude our attempts
to capture in mere words our love for this good guy. And
Scott was indeed one of the good guys!
My friendship with Scott started because of my friend-
ship and working relationship with his father, Rich Sells.
I remember the first time Rich introduced me to his
son in a hotel lobby. I noticed Scott’s grand smile and his
laugh. When Scott erupted into laughter, so did everyone
else in the lobby. They all stopped what they were doing
and burst into laughter, even though they had no idea
what Rich, Scott, and I were laughing about.
In a world that seems to be packed with cynics and
grumpy people, Scott Sells’ laugh was one of the grand
blessings that he took everywhere he went.
One evening, I was working in Honolulu and my group
decided to go downtown for dinner. The restaurant was
packed, music playing, plates and glasses clinking con-

30 ICCFA MAGAZINE December 2019 www.iccfa.com


ICCFA Executive Director
Nadira Baddeliyanage and
President Scott Sells attend an
event in Guatamala.
stantly, and just a lot of hub bub—when out of the blue, I
heard the familiar “laugh.”
When Scott saw me, he jumped up, ran over laugh-
ing the whole way, grabbed me, suffocated me with the
famous Sells hug, and demanded that my group join his
group even though we worked for “competing” funeral
and cemetery companies.
It was one of the most eventful and joyous times in my
life; and that night, I fell in love with Scott Sells.
Larger than Life
Scott was one of those people in our profession who could
combine loving life and dispensing that love to others,
with being good at daily management, budgets, difficult
decision-making, and financial responsibility.
I have meant hundreds in our profession who are
President Scott Sells (2017–18) receives an award for his devotion
to the ICCFA presented by President Mike Uselton (2016–17) and
President Christine Toson Hentges (2018–19).
www.iccfa.com
good on the people side, and others who are good on the
management side, but to know someone who was good at
it all—my, oh, my, what a rarity.
Scott Sells was one of the experts, but he was also
an expert with humility. He had a ready smile, always a
good word, and always presented himself as the consum-
mate gentleman. Most of all, he was passionately devoted
to his family.
For Scott, funeral and cemetery service was not just
a job, it was the clear and dedicated mission of his life. I
always thought how fortunate we all were to have a gen-
tleman like Scott Sells to help, guide, and counsel funeral
professionals and cemeterians. Scott was very, very good at
what he did.
The legacy of Scott Sells will not be limited to his own
accomplishments, even though those are tremendously
impressive for one lifetime. No, I believe Scott’s legacy
will be what others have done and will do in funeral and
cemetery service because of the foundations of excellence
he laid for the rest of us.
Scott Sells was the real deal. What you saw is what
you got, and what you got was an innocent expression of
a deep love for the human race. And that, my friends, in
these turbulent days, is indeed a God-ordained blessing.
The Final Word
You fought the good fight, Scott; and now the battle has
been won. You kept the faith, you loved your family and
profession, and now our grief is for ourselves because we
will all miss you. Mr. Scott Sells, your memory lives on.
May your soul rest in peace.
Scott Sells and his father, Rich Sells, share a poignant moment
during the 2014 ICCFA Annual Convention & Expo.
December 2019 ICCFA MAGAZINE 31
 Memories of Scott R. Sells
Scott was one of the rare people who had
both the ability to make new friends wherever
he went and at the same time hold a tight
circle of close friends. Scott lived by a simple
code of honor: camaraderie and loyalty. It was
this code that allowed him to be his own man,
calling it like it was without fear of being the
only person standing up for what he believed
was right. Scott’s greatest professional legacy
was his deep and wide tree of influence.
I am extremely proud to be a part of the
Scott Sells’ tree; he has influenced my career
beyond imagination. I would not be where I
am today without my dear friend.
—Mike Pokrywka
Scott was known for his grand personality and his
boisterous laugh, but he will be remembered for
his love of people and his desire to make successful
everyone around him! His devotion to his family,
the ICCFA, and to veterans will be his legacy.
—Jay Dodds
The best thing that I remember about Scott was his
openheartedness. He was never reticent in sharing his
emotions. So I treasure the memory of Scott saying to
me, on more than one occasion, “I love you, man.”
—Ray Frew
32 ICCFA MAGAZINE December 2019
I will always remember the first time I met Scott at
the ICCFA Annual in Tampa and thinking to myself,
“This guy is who I need to hang out with.” His laugh
and personality would always light up the room, and
everyone gravitated toward him. Little would I know
that soon enough he would become a confidant,
resource, and most importantly, a friend. I know I am
not alone in saying I will miss you.
—Kyle Nicola
Scott had a way of making everyone on the
ICCFA staff feel that they mattered. He was
a leader that never overlooked the work and
value of the people on his team, showing
his appreciation in ways that let us know he
genuinely valued us. His positive outlook and
faith that ‘we got this’ was more appreciated
than he could have ever known. He will be
greatly missed.
—Nadira Baddeliyanage
Scott was such a sweet, honest man, and
I feel so lucky to have known him. He was
one of those people who actually sees
you for you, so rare today when so many
only look for a reflection of themselves in
the people they meet.
—Kirsten Kase
www.iccfa.com
 I can’t help but quote one of Sam
Kennedy’s favorite sayings, “It is not
how many breaths we take which
counts. It is the number of breathless
moments which truly matters.”
Somehow, I think that saying was
meant exactly for Scott.
—Ken March
Scott was delightful, entertaining, and a positive force …. It was
always more fun when Scott was in the room. Scott’s big heart
always shined through when he reminded us all, as he did so
consistently, to pay gratitude to our veterans and those serving
in our military. He heightened our awareness for what is right,
and I’ll always remember him for that.
—Nancy and Lowell Lohman

Loyalty is perhaps the greatest demonstration

Scott was a mentor and enhanced the careers
of many associates. His ability to create a
positive work environment produced results for
professional organizations, numerous boards in the
community, and for his area of responsibility with
SCI. Everyone was involved under his leadership
and they got the job done.
—Raymer T. Pry
of respect and love a person can show another
person and Scott Sells gave and received it in
spades. His laugh was how he expressed joy in
the people he was around—he was laughing
with us, all the time, every time, because he
deeply cared for us. Semper Fidelis, my friend,
you earned it, you gave it, and all of us have
been blessed.
—William “Bill” Wright

Scott Sells was one of the most exciting

members and leaders we have ever had.
Tremendously enthusiastic, he was also
thoughtful and flexible when decisions had
to be made. I loved being with Scott and I
always felt better about the world after we
parted. This is a great loss to ICCFA and I
will deeply miss him.
—David Shipper
When Scott Sells passed, so many of us lost a dear
friend, confidant, and supporter. Scott always had the
courage to rise against things he felt were imperfect and
to carry the flag for what he felt was right, was just, or
protected his team or the client’s experience. We are all
better for the time we have with those we share our life
with; I know I am better for knowing Scott.
—Robert A. Gordon Jr.

Scott served his ICCFA presidency the year after mine
and we worked closely together those two years. Scott
was always seeking advice and input from others and
would utilize what he learned to tackle any opportunities
and situations. He was a proud veteran and American
and it showed, not only through his actions but through
his voice. I always loved going to an Irish bar with Scott
and listening to him sing every word. He will be truly
missed; but remember that memories last a lifetime.
—Mike Uselton
Scott’s laugh filled the room and made
everyone feel comfortable. But the truth is it
wasn’t just his laugh, it was his actions. Taking
the time to invite you in; making you feel a part
of the bigger picture. Shelby knows first-hand
that it was Scott who would always be one of
the first people to yell across the room and
invite both of us to come over, sit down, and
share. He brought everyone together.
—Poul Lemasters, Esq.

www.iccfa.com December 2019 ICCFA MAGAZINE 33

Industry Update
On the Move
Recompose has hired Anna Swenson as
its new communications manager. During
the hiring process, Recompose received
almost 200 résumés, including lots of
wonderful personal stories. Anna is a com-
munications expert, writer, and artist. She
joins Recompose after several years in the
agency world, where she led PR and mar-
keting programs for startups and technol-
ogy companies. Originally from Arizona,
Anna began her work in end-of-life care
in 2015 as a communications consultant
for Ryan House, a nonprofit in Phoenix
providing respite and palliative care for
children and families as they navigate
life-limiting and end-of-life journeys.
Industry Standards
The Natural Stone Council, a collabo-
ration of natural stone trade associations
to promote the use of natural stone in
commercial, residential, government,
institutional, educational, and all types
of applications interior and exterior, has
announced updates to the Natural Stone
SERVE THE MODERN FAMILY
with Keeper’s Suite of Digital
Memorialization Tools
• Online Memorials
• Walk-to-Grave App
• Kiosks, and More!
IS NOW
www.myKeeper.com
1-844-970-7900
PROUDLY MEMORIALIZING MILLIONS OF VETERANS
For the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs
34 ICCFA MAGAZINE December 2019
Sustain-
ability
Standard
(ANSI/
NSC 373).
To access
the stan-
dard and
find a full list of certified stones and how
to source them, visit www.naturalstone-
council.org/sustainability.
Publications
Story Terrace connects ordinary people
with professional writers to immortalize
extraordinary stories, creating profession-
al-quality biographies. It was founded in
2013 by Rutger Bruining, who was inspired
by his own grandfather’s tales of adventure
and adversities overcome, narrated to him
on a whim. Capture your story in a beau-
tiful book with the help of a professional
writer. Visit https://storyterrace.com.
New Products
Kubota Tractor
Corporation
has unveiled
its all-new
MX Series, a
hybrid between
compact and
utility tractors.
The MX Series now has two models, the
MX5400 and the MX6000, ranging from
55.5 to 63.4 gross engine horsepower and
both available with an optional factory cab.
Visit www.KubotaUSA.com.
Partnerships & Acquisitions
Temple Sinai, (First Hebrew Congre-
gation) Oakland, and Sinai Memorial
Chapel Chevra Kadisha, San Francisco,
Lafayette and Redwood City, announce the
transfer of guardianship of Temple Sinai’s
historic Home of Eternity Cemetery to
the cemetery development arm of Sinai
Memorial Chapel Chevra Kadisha, Beit
Olam of Contra Costa, Inc. The decision
to transfer guardianship and ownership
of Home of Eternity Cemetery to Sinai
Memorial was the result of an extensive
analysis involving the cemetery, finance,
and executive committees of Temple Sinai
as well as its board of trustees.
Education
International Grief Institute, an edu-
cational consulting firm that provides
professional training to the funeral and
bereavement industry, has announced a
new certification for funeral professionals.
Accredited by the Academy of Profession-
al Funeral Service Practice, the Certified
Aftercare Specialist™ is an innovative pro-
gram designed to give funeral profession-
als the training, tools, and templates they
need to extend the continuity of care. The
certification focuses on evidence-based
best practices in aftercare, how to create
www.iccfa.com

and start aftercare programs, facilitation
skills, building community connections,
and ready-made resources that enable
funeral homes to play a larger role in sup-
porting families in their communities. For
more information or to host a training,
call Linda Findlay at 315-725-6132 or visit
www.InternationalGriefInstitute.com.
Donations
Unity Financial Life Insurance Company,
Cincinnati, the national pre-need insur-
ance and funeral trust sales leader, raised
$21,537.50 for United Way of Greater
Cincinnati’s fundraising campaign. This is
an increase over last year of 7.44 percent.
Founded in 1964, Unity Financial Life is
an Ohio-based life insurance company,
currently licensed in 48 jurisdictions,
including the District of Columbia.
www.iccfa.com
The eco-friendly
Events alternative to cremation
The City of Miami Grand Army of the and burial
Republic (G.A.R.) Cemetery hosted its
annual British Flyers Remembrance Cer-
emony, October 19, 2019, on the cemetery
grounds. This event was held to honor the
15 Royal Air Force cadets that are interred
in the G.A.R. Cemetery, who were killed in
training accidents while attending Spartan
School of Aeronautics, Miami B.F.T.S. #3
during WWII in the early 1940s.
Pet Systems
More than 300 members and guests of Se-
lected Independent Funeral Homes gath-
ered at the JW Marriott Resort in Nashville
for the association’s 2019 Annual Meeting,
September 23–26. With a focus on leader-
ship and staffing, the experience featured
numerous educational opportunities.
Human Systems
“Since offering alkaline
hydrolysis our market share
has increased dramatically.
Families have driven out of their
way to come to us, passing 4 or
5 of our competitors to ensure
Aquamation is used for their
loved one.”
www.aquamationinfo.com
(317) 386-3500
200 Colin Ct. Danville, IN 46122
December 2019 ICCFA MAGAZINE 35
Members in the News
In Memoriam
Florence Rosalyn Shipper, wife of ICCFA
Past President Irwin W. Shipper CCE and
mother of ICCFA Past President David J.
Shipper passed away in October. Funeral
services were held in the Shipper Family
Sanctuary at Temple Beth David in Palm
Beach Gardens, FL, Interment service was
held at Beth Israel Cemetery in Wood-
bridge, NJ, October 11, 2019.
On the Move
Eleanor Gould has
joined the leadership
team of Mount
Auburn Cemetery as
vice president of
horticulture &
landscape, reporting
directly to president
& CEO Dave Barnett.
In addition to being responsible for
leadership and effective management of
the Horticulture Department, comprising
17 full-time and 34 seasonal staff, Eleanor
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(TXLSPHQW0DQXIDFWXULQJWKH+LJKHVW4XDOLW\3URGXFWV6LQFH
ƒVDOHV#KROODQGVXSSO\LQFFRPRUYLVLWZZZKROODQGVXSSO\LQFFRP
36 ICCFA MAGAZINE December 2019
will be responsible for design and imple-
mentation of landscape improvements that
achieve long-term strategic objectives,
such as increasing plant diversity, enhanc-
ing the sustainability and wildlife habitat
value of the landscape, and preserving the
historic character of this national historic
landmark.
Homesteaders Life
Company is pleased to
announce that Terri
Bordenkircher has
been named regional
director. Terri, who has
worked the last six years
serving as an account
executive, will lead the
East Region.
Homesteaders Life Company is also
pleased to announce that Doug Farrell
has joined Homesteaders’ industry-leading
team of account executives. Farrell has
worked in the life insurance industry for
the majority of his career and has spent
the last five years serving funeral homes,
agents, and policy owners as a member of
the Homesteaders customer service team.
The Foresight
Companies is proud
to announce that
Curtis Rostad has
rejoined Foresight.
Curt was an owner,
operator, state
executive, and
consultant before
retiring two years ago. Curt was a frequent
speaker at professional meetings and is
known as an expert in accounts receivable
management, OSHA compliance, and
Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease. Curt will be
facilitating the company’s human resource
services, helping clients implement a solid
General Price List, and OSHA compliance
and training.
www.iccfa.com
 ICCFA June 2/3 Page 4.5” x 10”

Funeral Directors
Life is proud to
announce the
addition of Mike
Kachenmeister as
market center
manager for North-
west Ohio. Mike
comes with a strong
background in the sales and insurance
industries. For more than 10 years, he has
honed his skills and maintains a proven
track record of success through hands-on
involvement and results-focused strategies.

Renee Bays
Lockhart has
been appointed
president of
Heritage Part-
ners (HP). As
president of HP, Renee will oversee one of
the largest and fastest growing deathcare
platforms in the country. She will continue
to serve as chief financial officer of
Heritage Partners. Renee was selected for
inclusion in the 2001 40 Under 40 class
featured in The Business Journal of
Tri-Cities Tennessee/Virginia.

Security National Life (SNL) is pleased

to announce two new additions to its
staff. Mike Malloy has been hired as the
market sales manager for the Chicago area.
Stuart Snow has been hired as the market
sales manager for the Southern Ohio area.
Mike has worked in the advance funeral
planning and funding arena as a licensed
pre-need producer for family-owned,
multi-generational funeral homes in the
Chicago area. Stuart (CFSP) served as
vice president of pre-need marketing for a
funeral service organization and as manag-
ing director with both sales and operations
responsibilities. He also served several
years in the management of funeral homes
in his current area of responsibility. SNL
provides client and business solutions for
the funeral profession.

www.iccfa.com December 2019 ICCFA MAGAZINE 37

Members in the News
Partnerships
eFuneral, a
Homesteaders Life
Company subsidi-
ary, is collaborating
with Travel Plan by
Inman. Consumers
who plan and fund
their funerals
through eFuneral
can now elect to add Inman’s Travel Plan
to their pre-need policies. The Travel Plan
by Inman offers coverage to families when
a loved one dies away from home. A
one-time $450 fee covers the cost of
bringing a loved one home for ceremony if
the person dies more than 100 miles from
home. Covered expenses could be as high
as $15,000. eFuneral and Inman customers
can take advantage of this valuable offering
beginning November 1, 2019.
Acquisitions
The Foresight Companies has elevated
funeral service lending to a new level by
gaining exclusive access to a national
financing platform that will match clients’
needs with hundreds of lenders. “The
Foresight Companies has revolutionized
lending for deathcare. In the next decade,
well in excess of $5 billion of funeral and
cemetery ownership will change hands.
This is going to affect the stewardship of
thousands of owner families,” said Dan
Isard, managing partner of The Foresight
Companies, LLC. The Foresight Compa-
nies have developed a process for private
individuals to secure the financing to fa-
cilitate these business transfers. Commer-
cial loans have many variables that make
it difficult to allow for a competitive bid
process. It is often confusing to determine
if conventional lending, cash flow lending,
mortgages or SBA-driven loans should
be used. Isard added, “Today, we can host
a loan and have multiple proposals back
within days rather than a month. Lenders
know that by using our portal, their pro-
posals are being presented confidentially
while allowing the borrower to explore
all the options. Ultimately this is how the
borrower wins.”
Heritage Partners
(HP) has partnered
with Buddy Mayes of
Paxus to expand its
funeral service
footprint in Tennessee. The addition will
allow Heritage to serve families at seven
funeral homes and one cemetery in
north-east Tennessee. This is the third
acquisition Heritage has made in the last
eight months. Earlier this year, Heritage
completed the acquisition of Beggs
Funeral Home in Georgia, as well as the
Appalachian and Woodall-Ander-
son-Dugger Funeral Homes in Johnson
City. Heritage is one of the largest and
fastest growing deathcare service compa-
nies in the country.
New Projects
Terrybear Urns & Memorials, an indus-
try leader in cremation urn design and
sourcing, has announced the launch of its
new logo and tagline. “Our new brand
reflects the forward-moving direction of
the company and is more relevant to who
we are today and who we will be in the
future, said Lavina Lau, President & CEO

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38 ICCFA MAGAZINE December 2019 www.iccfa.com

of Terrybear. “It represents our new ex-
panded capabilities and offerings,” added
Lau. Terrybear has traditionally focused
on offering beautifully designed urns and
keepsakes to its customers. In recent years,
Terrybear has expanded its offerings in
urns, keepsakes, cremation jewelry, per-
sonalization services, and new technology.
Homesteaders Life Company has expand-
ed its popular Finding Resilience burnout
prevention program to include a Facebook
page for funeral professionals seeking to
prevent career burnout and compassion
fatigue. The page features practical tips,
expanded content, and exclusive videos
produced in collaboration with Dr. Jason
Troyer, PhD CT.
The Cave Hill Heritage Foundation has
announced the installation of its new
Apiary building and garden, allowing all
aspects of beekeeping on the grounds of
Cave Hill Cemetery. The Cave Hill Apiary
building is located adjacent to Section
A, and includes a beautiful fountain and
pollinator garden area. Cave Hill Cemetery
departmental teams have worked diligent-
ly to restore the building from its former
use as a gardeners’ cottage and add the
garden component.
Comsoft Business Solutions has an-
nounced the release of its Interactive
Cemetery Website System, including a
Genealogy Burial Record Database, Digital
Document Storage System with its Nation-
wide Live Floral eCommerce Program. The
database can be incorporated into other
programs. It allows for quick lookup of all
the persons buried in a cemetery, giving
their location, date of birth, and date of
death. Email cemeterysales@comsft.com
or call Carl Walters at 586.871.8619 for
more information.
New Products
New Memorials Direct has released new
seasonal marketing images. These images
help to remind your families during this
holiday season that they have many ways
to honor and remember a loved one. Imag-
es feature the most popular styles as well as
new and exciting options like the engraved

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Members in the News
band ring. Please make sure your screen
is connected to Wi-Fi in order to receive
the update. Additional printed copies may
be purchased for a small fee. Branding the
images with your funeral home’s logo and
relevant directory information is optional.
To order, please contact New Memorials
Direct at 1.877.995.8767 or visit www.
NewMemorialsDirect.com.
Concept Caskets, manufacturer of
wooden caskets, is offering a product
better-suited to direct cremation—the
multifunctional funeral tray. This one
contributes to the experience of the fami-
lies and increases profitability of minimum
funeral services proposed. The funeral tray
was created to allow preparation of the
deceased, as well as having a brief moment
for a last goodbye with dignity before
proceeding with body layout. Contact Jean
Francois Houde at 800.463.9515 or visit
www.funeraltray.com.
New Memorials Direct is pleased to
announce the availability of its jewelry in
14K Solid Rose Gold as well as 14K Solid
Yellow or White Gold. This new option
will be available for cremation jewelry as
well as personalized jewelry items. Solid
rose gold and rose gold-filled chains will
be available separately to pair with any rose
gold pendant. These items will be made-to-
order with the standard solid gold four– to
five-week lead time, and pricing will match
the existing solid gold costs.
40 ICCFA MAGAZINE December 2019
Bogati Urn Company
has debuted a new
cremation jewelry
catalog. This updated
version, Volume 19,
features the compa-
ny’s most recent
selection of
high-quality stainless
steel cremation
jewelry, including pendants, lockets,
bangles, and keychains. That selection now
offers hundreds of designs, from classic
options to those more modern and
contemporary in the latest fashion colors.
Many are brand new this year. Print
versions of the new 24-page catalog are
available by calling 941.751.3382 or
requesting online at www.bogatiurns.com/
catalog. An online version of the catalog is
available.
R&S Designs
now offers
“quick ship”
personalized,
niche name
plaques.
Because personalization and uniqueness
lead to increased sales, R&S has intro-
duced a new small name plaque or name
card, which fits inside a glass front niche.
The name card when placed alongside an
urn adds honor and identity. The card
comes in a choice of two stone colors.
Choose 2 lines of text and a logo design or
4 lines of text. The logo could be a stan-
dard design, such as a cross, cemetery
emblem, or a customized design. For more
information, call Cressy Memorial at
866.763.0485 or email maryanne@
cressymemorial.com.
Bogati Urn
Company has
announced an
exclusive
partnership
with Forever
Aging™, the
manufacturer of
miniature
wooden barrel urns intended for those
who love(d) whiskey, wine, beer, and
anything else aged in a barrel. The Forever
Aging barrel urn is the inspiration of
William (Bill) Elam, a retired attorney who
lives in Kentucky, the mecca of the
bourbon industry. With the understanding
that old bourbon barrels can’t be re-used
for bourbon, Elam had the idea of making
one-of-a-kind urns from someone’s
favorite bourbon brand. Visit www.
bogatiurns.com for more information.
Honors & Recognition
Homesteaders Life Company, a national
leader in pre-need funeral funding, has
been named among the top 15 workplaces
in Iowa. This is the fifth consecutive year
Homesteaders has been named a Top Iowa
Workplace.
Park Lawn Corporation has been rec-
ognized as a TSX Top Performer. Listed
among 30 companies with strongest share
price appreciation in recent years, PLC
provides goods and services associated
with the disposition and memorialization
of human remains.
Events
In celebration of the restoration of the
home once belonging to the Menand
Village’s namesake and once world-famous
horticulturist, Louis Menand, Albany
Diocesan Cemeteries hosted a garden
party on September 19 on the grounds of
the Louis Menand House built circa 1846.
The Menand House and 3½ acres were
purchased by St. Agnes Cemetery in 2016.
It now serves as the central administrative
office of Albany Diocesan Cemeteries.
www.iccfa.com
 KIM HARRIS
HERITAGE MEMORIAL
FUNERAL HOME & CREMATORY

“CARRYING ON
DAD’S LEGACY
WAS MY PASSION.
FINDING THE
RIGHT PARTNER
TO HELP DO THAT
WAS A PRIORITY.”

My dad worked his entire life to build a funeral
home that loved and served our community.
I wanted to honor his life’s work and keep his
dream alive. To do that, I knew I needed help
growing the business and staying ahead of
our competitors. When I started to consider
retirement, I knew putting the right succession
plan in place would be key. After meeting
Foundation Partners, I immediately knew
they were family-focused, understood what
a successful succession plan looked like, and
desired to keep our current team in place. If
my dad were here today, I’m confident he’d be
proud to see his legacy carried on by a company
invested in his life’s work and the families we
continue to support in our community.

Foundation Partners Group Get in Touch

4901 Vineland Road, Suite 300 1-888-788-7526
Orlando, FL 32811 FoundationPartners.com
Members in the News
Over 160 friends and supporters gathered
to enjoy food and drinks on the grounds of
the Menand House before boarding a trol-
ley to nearby Founders’ Hill in Historic
St. Agnes Cemetery to watch four upbeat
and amusing skits by Albany Civic Theater,
highlighting some of the notable people
interred in the cemetery. All proceeds
from the event went to the restoration and
beautification of the Menand House and
surrounding grounds.
Flanner Buchanan hosted a public open
house for its new corporate office and
operations center. Bruce Buchanan (L.)
owner of Flanner Buchanan, is shown
taking local pastor Dr. Katurah Worrill
Johnson on a tour of the new cremation
center during the October 3 open house.
A fourth retort was added to accommo-
date the growing cremation business. The
retort pictured on the right has an oversize cemetery
June '19:Layout 1 5/6/19 4:55 PM Page
capacity that will allow cremations up to
TM
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Known for quality materials and craftsmanship,
Madelyn Co. Keepsake Pendants
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call about monthly specials or visit our website
800-788-0807 Fax 608-752-3683 www.madelynpedants.com e-mail orders@madelynco.com
42 ICCFA MAGAZINE December 2019
1,000 lbs. It will eliminate the previous
need to rely on a third party to serve
families. The new office complex is 32,000
square feet.
Graduations
Johnson Consulting Group is proud
to announce the successful launch of its
Leadership and Management Academy,
graduating six managers as part of the in-
augural 2019 class. The graduates include
David Napoli of Busch Funeral & Crema-
tory Services, Dennis Moore of Freemont
Chapel of the Roses, Joey Wallace of
Ingram Funeral Home & Crematory,
Lori Sheeler of Wilson St. Pierre Funeral
Service and Crematory, Luis Lozada of
Serenity Memorial Group, and Michael
Roberts of Hathaway Family Funeral
Homes. The Johnson Consulting Group
Leadership and Management Academy
is a comprehensive 14-week program that
trains upcoming and current funeral and
1 business leaders and manag-
ers. Th e academy’s purpose is to equip
The opportunity to choose a Keepsake Pendant
presents itself only once.
The comfort a Keepsake Pendant offers, lasts a lifetime.
Sterling Silver Feather Sterling Silver Fish Hook
them with JCG’s four core areas of focus:
customer service, workplace, marketplace,
and financial stability.
Publications
Companion Press announces the publi-
cation of a new book entitled First Aid for
Broken Hearts by renowned grief educator
Dr. Alan Wolfelt. Whether the readers are
struggling with a death, break-up, illness,
unwanted life change, or loss of any kind,
this book will help them understand their
predicament as well as figure out what to
do about it. Actually, if the reader adopts
this guide’s basic principles, revealed and
tested by one of the world’s most beloved
grief counselors, he or she will even go on
to thrive. This powerful book is the perfect
gift for funeral homes and hospices to give
to the families they serve. Author, educa-
tor, and grief counselor Dr. Alan Wolfelt
serves as director of the Center for Loss
and Life Transition in Fort Collins, CO.
The author
of Grief One
Day at a
Time, Un-
derstanding
Your Grief,
and many
other books
for grief
caregivers
and mourn-
ers, Dr.
Wolfelt is
committed
to helping people mourn well so they can
live well and love well. First Aid for Broken
Hearts is available in both softcover and
e-book formats. Visit www.centerforloss.
com or call 970.226.6050.
www.iccfa.com
 JCG Succession Planning

Created for Partnership.

Designed for Business Success.

JCG found me the perfect match.

After being in the Funeral Care industry for 42 years and operating
my own businesses for 32 years, I began to seriously consider the
inevitability of the need for a plan of succession. It became evident
to me that my options would be limited in many aspects, which is
why I chose to trust Johnson Consulting Group, known as one of
the funeral industry’s most highly regarded consulting and Let's Find You
operational experts.
The Best Possible Fit!
They helped me find the perfect match in a purchaser, as I wanted
to continue to work after the sale and assist the new owner with
continued success and growth. Dave Adams and Karen McCurdy info@johnsonconsulting.com
were on the front line at all times along with their support staff as
we moved forward through the processes of transferring the
480-556-8500
companies. Jake and Tom Johnson also made themselves
available as needed, which says a lot about this company’s
leadership and commitment to excellence. I could not imagine how www.johnsonconsulting.com
we would have made it through without enlisting such an
experienced and quality group as Johnson Consulting!

-John P. Brooks
 ICCFA News

I CC FA M E M B E R S H I P B E N E F I T S P OT L I G H T:
Life Line Screening

Take preventive action toward your health for the New Year! Life Line Screen-
ing provides health screening services that are designed for early detection
of potential life-threatening conditions. In a little more than an hour, you can
receive a non-invasive screening for risk factors that may lead to stroke, heart
attack, and more. For only $135, ICCFA members can receive the following four
screenings:
• Carotid Artery (identifies plaque in the carotid arteries that can cause a
stroke)
• Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm (scans for bleeding in the abdomen)
• Atrial Fibrillation (monitors for an irregular heartbeat that can cause a
stroke)
• Peripheral Arterial Disease (looks for reduced blood flow in the feet and
legs that can cause gangrene)
Life Line Screening has a staff of healthcare professionals who use the
latest technology to provide hospital-quality preventive screenings, followed
by a review of your results with a board-certified physician. Call 1.866.672.8151
today to find a screening location near you.
To see more membership benefits and services, visit http://users.iccfa.com,
log-in with your username and password, and then click on Member Discount
Programs.

Get Discounted Music Licenses Through ICCFA!

Any U.S. funeral home, cemetery,
crematory, or related funeral service
business that plays live or recorded
performances of copyrighted music
is required to have a current music
license. Failure to obtain a music license
can result in damages similar to fines of
up to $30,000 for each song infringed.
Don’t take chances with your busi- the combined annual fees from ASCAP,
ness; buy your music licenses TODAY! BMI, and SESAC.
The ICCFA offers music licensing PLUS: Get your webcasting licenses
through ASCAP, BMI, and SESAC at the for only $49 per location, allowing your
discounted rate of $284 per location services to be broadcast via the inter-
if purchased by January 31, 2020, and net throughout the world. You must
$295 per property after January 31. have a music license before you pur-
There are no additional fees or mem- chase a webcasting license. For more
bership requirements. ICCFA’s music information and to purchase licensing,
license rate is a direct pass-through of visit www.iccfa.com/legal/music.

44 ICCFA MAGAZINE December 2019 www.iccfa.com

 Welcome New ICCFA Members!
• Affordable Columbarium Niches, LLC • Dillon Funeral Service • Everlasting Memories
Houston, TX Sand Springs, OK Great Falls, MT
• Bravo International Corp • Hansen Mortuary
Dania, FL Scottsdale, AZ
• Church Funeral Services & Crematory • Peaceful Journeys Pet Cremation, LLC
Baton Rouge, LA Gunnison, CO
• ColumbariumNiches.com • Saxton & Stump, LLC
Milwaukee, WI Harrisburg, PA
For more information about ICCFA and membership, visit www.iccfa.com/­membership and download an application form.
Or call 1.800.645.7700 to speak to a membership associate.

M E M B E R S H I P O U T R E AC H CO R N E R :
Report from the 2019 NJSFDA Convention & Expo
by Cindy R. Hinton, ICCFA Membership Manager

Two weeks into my new position as industry peers, and visit

the membership manager at IC- the exhibit hall where they
CFA, I had the pleasure of joining would learn about innova-
ICCFA’s supplier relations manager, tive funeral products and
Rick Platter, at the 2019 New Jersey services.
State Funeral Directors Association This convention includ-
(NJSFDA) Convention & Expo held at ed three days of exciting
Harrah’s Resort in Atlantic City, Sep- educational programming,
tember 17–19, 2019. This was ICCFA’s networking, enjoyable social
first time attending and exhibiting at events, and great food in a
this convention, and it proved to be sophisticated marina setting.
an outstanding experience! We had an incredible time,
The convention’s 40,000-square- and I look forward to attend-
foot exhibit hall opened Tuesday ing next year’s convention
evening with a wine and cheese at the Hard Rock Café in
reception, where attendees had the Atlantic City!
opportunity to browse the hall floor
and get a first look at the products
and services offered by more than
100 exhibitors. We were delight-
ed to network and engage with
so many funeral industry profes-
sionals, members of NJSFDA, and
members of ICCFA.
Throughout the three-day
event, attendees were able to earn
continuing education units, attend
seminars on topics ranging from
embalming to proper protocol for
military funerals, network with

www.iccfa.com December 2019 ICCFA MAGAZINE45

ICCFA News

2020 ICCFA Annual Convention & Expo Spotlight: The PLPA

The Pet Loss Professionals Alliance
(PLPA) has scheduled some not-to-be-
missed educational sessions that will
take place on Thursday, April 2, 2020,
during the 2020 ICCFA Annual Conven-
tion & Expo in San Antonio.
First on the docket will be a mock
trial of a wrongful pet cremation, led
by ICCFA General Counsel Poul Le-
masters, Esq. and funeral director and
attorney Donald Ferfolia. This mock
trial is based on actual facts and will be
presented just as it would be in a court-
room, complete with the attorneys, the
plaintiff, the defendants, a judge—and,
of course, a jury.
The crematory and veterinarian are
the suspects that will come under the
scrutiny of a jury as the attorneys delve
into what value consumers place on the
life and death of a pet and what rights
they think pets are entitled. If you have and minimize risk for your pet cemetery you need as a marketer, whether you
questions about pets’ legal rights when in an industry where the laws are grey are a novice or just in need of a quick
it comes to deathcare, you won’t want to none. refresher.
to miss this two-hour breakout session. If you’re in need of ideas to improve While at the ICCFA Annual Conven-
The legal sessions continue with your marketing efforts with a small tion & Expo, be sure to set a reminder
speaker Beth Kmiec from ClearPoint budget, come listen to speaker Joe on your calendar to attend the PLPA
Federal Bank & Trust, who will be Weigel from Weigel Strategic Market- Reception & Memorial Service, which
talking about the laws of pet cemeter- ing. In this hands-on seminar, Joe will will be held Tuesday, March 31, 5:00–
ies. Are pet cemetery laws similar to cover marketing concepts and commu- 6:00 pm. For complete 2020 conven-
human cemetery laws? Join Beth to nications to implement at your pet loss tion details and registration informa-
learn best practices and how to protect operation. Acquire the core skills that tion, visit www.iccfaconvention.com.

The EAS-13 Casket Protector

• Non-degrading • Absorbent liner
acrylic tape pad
• Odor suppressing • One-way brass
nylon poly-foil check valve
Eliminate infestation and lower maintenance costs with
the most consistently performing casket enclosure on the
market.
800 864 4174 ensureaseal.com

46 ICCFA MAGAZINE December 2019 www.iccfa.com

 Thank you To our 2020
AnnuAl Convention & exposition
SponSorS!

Blackstone Cemetery Development park Lawn Corp.

C&J Financial Service Corporation International
Forest Lawn Memorial-parks & Mortuaries Thumbies
Matthews Memorialization The Tribute Companies
noMIS publications, Inc. The Woodlawn Cemetery

www.iccfa.com December 2019 ICCFA MAGAZINE 47

ICCFA News

Make Your Resolutions Stick

It’s a yearly ritual for many of us—the setting of our New
Year’s resolutions. A chance for a fresh start, to break free
from bad habits, set new goals, and launch into a year of
success and happiness. Sounds feasible, right? But for many
of us, the goals are just too broad; even knowing where to
begin becomes an obstacle to action.
That’s where ICCFA steps in. We have your starting point:
Las Vegas, January 15–17, 2020.
Join fellow family counselors, sales team managers, and
supplier colleagues at the 2020 DEAD Talks sales conference
at the Luxor Hotel and Casino.
Over the course of the conference, you will learn how to:
• Secure and qualify better leads;
• Ask questions that challenge and empower your clients (L-R): ICCFA member Michael Watson CFSP, ICCFA General Counsel Poul
Lemasters, and ICCFA President-Elect Gary Freytag CCFE at the 2019
to make meaningful selections; DEAD Talks Sales Conference.
• Present memorialization to today’s cremation consumer;
• Answer objections to help move clients to a logical and through your resistance to change. Come to Vegas and be
emotional buying decision; encouraged by top deathcare sales professionals, be invig-
• Replace your sales pitch with a two-way conversation; orated with new ideas, and begin to develop new patterns
• Ask for small commitments throughout the closing in your professional life that will keep you motivated and
process; focused on meeting those 2020 resolutions.
• Use text messaging to open the aftercare conversation To register and for more information on DEAD Talks 2020,
with families; and visit www.iccfasales.com. Early bird rates end December 10,
• Believe in the value of what you sell! 2019. Remember, successful people don’t count on luck, they
To be sure, most of us aren’t big fans of change, but act intentionally and focus on what they can control. See you
altering just one habit in your daily routine is how to smash in Vegas!

ICCFA’s Educational Foundation awarded a record number of scholarships that made it possible for 50 sales professionals to attend the 2019 DEAD Talks
Sales Conference.

48 ICCFA MAGAZINE December 2019 www.iccfa.com

 Thank you to our 2020

sponsors!

Biondan North America, Inc. Inman Shipping Worldwide

Blackstone Cemetery Madelyn Co.
Development
Matthews Memorialization
Cave Hill Cemetery
Merendino Cemetery Care
Cooperative Funeral Fund, Inc.
National Guardian Life
Cypress Lawn Insurance Co.
Davey Tree NOMIS Publications
Forest Lawn Memorial- Park Lawn Corp.
Parks & Mortuaries
PlotBox
Guerra & Gutierrez Mortuary
Service Corporation
Hillside Memorial Park & International
Mortuary
The Woodlawn Cemetery
Homesteaders Life Company
webCemeteries.com
Inglewood Park Cemetery
www.iccfa.com December 2019 ICCFA MAGAZINE49
 CALENDAR OF EVENTS
January 15–17, 2020 February 19–20, 2020
DEAD Talks 2020 Sales Conference 116th Annual Meeting of the
(Previously WWS) International Conference of Funeral
Luxor Hotel & Casino, Las Vegas Service Examining Boards
Register at www.iccfasales.com. The Hammock Beach Resort,
Palm Coast, FL
February 16, 2020
Visit https://theconferenceonline.org/
Funeral Technology and Marketing
upcomingevents/annual-meeting/.
Workshop Cruise
Port Canaveral (Orlando area) March 30–April 2, 2020
Seven-night tour of the Bahamas, ICCFA Annual Convention & Expo
Honduras, and Mexico; hosted by Convention Center & Grand Hyatt, San
FrontRunner Professional. Visit www. Antonio
frontrunner360.com/cruise or call For complete 2020 convention details
1-866-748-3625. and registration information, visit www.
iccfaconvention.com.
June 29– July 1, 2020
CBCE 2020: The Cremation Society
Annual Conference
Tthe Hilton Ageas Bowl, Southampton
Visit https://www.cremation.org.uk/
Latest-news.
July 20–23, 2020, and
June 28–July 1, 2021
Becoming an Effective Grief Educator
Fort Collins, CO
Hosted by the Center for Loss and Life
Transition featuring Dr. Alan Wolfelt. To
reserve a seat, visit www.centerforloss.
com.

for
Also TS
ADVERTISER INDEX
Equipment and Supplies PE

Aquamation = Water Cremation 35 American Cemetery / 51 Grever & Ward

Zero pollution.. Easier to get planning permit Mortuary Consultants
36 Holland Supply
co
G r e e n /Ev e to
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a ti
a lt e r n
f ir e Alkaline Hydrolysis funeral C3 IMSA
c r e m a ti
on 51 ASD—Answering Service
Phone John on 317 451 5221 for Directors 43 Johnson Consulting Group
from 2 pm - midnight PT
www.aquamationindustries.com Email : john@aquamation.com.au 7 Astral 34 Keeper

35 Bio Response Solutions 38 Kryprotek

51 Bogati Urn Company 42 Madelyn Co.

800.475.5235 WWW.CLASSICPLASTICSCORP.COM
C2 C&J Financial 5 Merendino Cemetery Care

47 Cherokee Paw Prints 52 Nomis Publications

• Five stock sizes
• Great for transporting animals 44 Obermayer Rebmann
50 Classic Plastics
• PVC free, safe for crematories
Maxwell & Hippel
• Durable nylon weaving, leak resistant
45 Columbarium by Design
NEW ITEM: ALKALINE HYDROLYSIS BAGS LLC 37 Passages International

3 Continental Computer 50 Premier Columbaria

Corp.
9 SRS Computing
46 Ensure-A-Seal
7 Supply Link
51 Flowers for Cemeteries
39 THE SYSTEM
41 Foundation Partners
Group 44 Triple H Co.

C4 funeralOne 39 U.S. Metalcraft

13 Funeral Call Answering 52 WithumSmith + Brown

Service

50 ICCFA MAGAZINE December 2019 www.iccfa.com

 Hand-Crafted Oak Tower Urns Exclusively by Bogati®

$
4900 Dimensions:
Capacity:
10″ H x 6″ W x 6″ D
up to 275 cu. in.
A variety of designs are available!

Call (941) 751-3382 to order

www.BogatiUrns.com

GREVER & WARD

CEMETERY PLANNING
PLANNING CEMETERY DEVELOPMENTS
SINCE 1939
CEMETERY MASTER PLANS
CONSTRUCTION PLANNING
SECTION LAYOUT PLANS
CREMATION GARDEN PLANS
PLANTING PLANS & SPECS
LOT LAYOUT & SALES MAPS
SPACE RECOVERY PROGRAMS
SITE EVALUATIONS & FEASIBILITY STUDIES

GWGREVER & WARD

& Cemetery Planners
3 8 0 2 N . B U F FA L O S T R E E T
INC.

O R C H A R D PA R K , N Y 1 4 1 2 7 - 1 8 4 0

www.iccfa.com December 2019 ICCFA MAGAZINE 51

 IN THE DEATHCARE INDUSTRY

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Statement of Ownership, Management & Circulation

1. Publication Title: ICCFA Magazine Carpenter Drive, Ste. 100, Sterling. VA 20164-
4468; Editor: Tatia Gordon-Troy, International
2. Publication Number: 1936-2009
Cemetery, Cremation & Funeral Association, 107
3. Filing Date: October 1, 2019 Carpenter Drive, Ste. 100, Sterling. VA 20164-
4. Issue Frequency: Monthly with combined 4468; Managing Editor: Same as Editor
issues (March/April & August/September)
10. Owner: International Cemetery, Cremation
5. Number of Issues Published Annually: 10 & Funeral Association, 107 Carpenter Drive, Ste.
100, Sterling. VA 20164-4468
6. Annual Subscription Price: $39.95
11. Known Bondholders, Mortgagees, and Other
7. Complete Mailing Address of Known Office of Security Holders Owning or Holding 1 Percent or
Publication: International Cemetery, Cremation More of Total Amount of Bonds, Mortgages, or
& Funeral Association, 107 Carpenter Drive, Other Securities: None.
Ste. 100, Sterling. VA 20164-4468; Contact
12. Tax Status. The Purpose, Function, and
Person: Tatia Gordon-Troy; Contact Number:
Nonprofit Status of This Organization and the
571.323.2983
Exempt Status for Federal income Tax Purposes:
8. Complete Mailing Address of Headquarters or
Has Not Changed During Preceding 12 Months
General Business Office of Publisher: Interna-
13. Publication Title: ICCFA Magazine
tional Cemetery, Cremation & Funeral Associa-
tion, 107 Carpenter Drive, Ste. 100, Sterling. VA 14. Issue Date for Circulation Data Below: Au-
20164-4468 gust/September 2019
9. Full Names and Complete Mailing Address- 15. Extent and Nature of Circulation: Average No.
es of Publisher, Editor, and Managing Editor: Copies Each Issue During Preceding 12 Months:
Publisher: Nadira Baddeliyanage, International (a) Total Number of Copies–8310; (b) Legitimate
Cemetery, Cremation & Funeral Association, 107 Paid and/or Requested Distribution: (b1) Outside
County Paid/Requested Mail Subscriptions: 6773;
(b2) In-County Paid/Requested Mail Subscrip-
tions: 0; (b3) Sales Through Dealers and Carriers,
Street Vendors, Counter Sales, and Other Paid
or Requested Distribution Outside USPS: 366;
(b4) Requested Copies Distributed by Other Mail
Classes Through USPS: 5.4; (c) Total Paid and/or
Requested Circulation: 7144.4; (d) Nonrequested
Distribution: (d1) Outside County Nonrequest-
ed Copies: 88; (d2) In-County Nonrequested
Copies: 0; (d3) Nonrequested Copies Distributed
Through USPS by Other Classes of Mail: 0; (d4)
Nonrequested Copies Distributed Outside the
Mail: 31; (e) Total Nonrequested Distribution:
119; (f) Total Distribution: 7263.4; (g) Copies Not
Distributed: 1046.6; (h) Total: 8310; (i) Percent
Paid and/or Requested Circulation: 98.4
16. Electronic Copy Circulation: 0
17. Publication of Statement of Ownership for a
Requester Publication is Required and Will Be
Printed in December 2019 issue.
18. Signature and Title of Editor, Publisher, Busi-
ness Manager, or Owner: Nadira Baddeliyanage,
Publisher

52 ICCFA MAGAZINE December 2019 www.iccfa.com

Who Supplies
the Suppliers?
For funeral and cemetery suppliers, business
has never been more isolating. Often ideas
are done in a vacuum. What you know is only
what you know, which limits how far you can
go. IMSA membership can change that. We’ve
brought together some of the top industry
experts to offer our members free one-on-
one advice on marketing, business planning,
legal issues and more. We also bring to
our members insightful business-boosting
webinars, meaningful industry resources and
networking with other IMSA members. All this
for just $175 a year. We’re the only association
serving all funeral and cemetery suppliers.
Because what’s good for the suppliers is
good for the providers and that’s good for the
families. IMSA. Supplying opportunity.

www.IMSA-Online.com

IMSA members now get free consultation with Dan Katz & Rolf Gutknecht of LA ads, Jake Johnson
of Johnson Consulting, Ryan Thogmartin of Disrupt Media and Poul Lemasters of Lemasters Consulting.