Hasnas 1

Sarah Hasnas

Professor Granillo

English 103

05 December 2019

Reflective Essay

For my first essay in English 103, I did my essay on the “Prisoner of Your Love” cake.

This time around, I will be doing a same-sex marriage wedding cake, based on psychoanalysis.

Psychoanalysis is a theory and set of therapeutic techniques that study the unconscious mind.

These two things together form a method of treatment for mental health disorders. Same-sex

marriage couples face many mental health disorders because they are looked down upon in

society. Their children, if they have any, face these as well. Their children’s friends will have

families who are against same-sex marriage and will not let their children talk to, or play with

that child. Psychoanalysis should recognize same-sex marriage, as it is a method of treatment for

mental health disorders.

While the Prisoner of Your Love Cake is projecting itself as marriage is a jail sentence,

many same-sex couples wish they could get married. Mark J. Blechner brings light to same-sex

marriage and psychoanalysis by saying “Psychoanalysis should attend to same-sex marriage for

two reasons: (1) Exclusion from marriage harms the mental health of same-sex couples and their

children and (2) psychoanalysis is the science of irrationality, and the arguments about same-sex

marriage are often highly irrational” (Blechner 146). While the cake I designed does not have

any figurines, it is simply because of the fact that there are no same-sex wedding take toppers in

stores. This is because of the irrational arguments against same-sex marriage.

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For my cake, I used visual and linguistic modes. While the cake is visual, and this essay

is linguistic, I believe the cake speaks for itself. Many bakers do not agree to make a cake for

same-sex couples, so many end up having to make their own. For my cake, I used the colors

white, what was supposed to be pink, purple, and green. The white represents marriage, and the

pink represents sexual attraction to the same-sex only. I know some people who are gay, and are

actually bisexual, so that is what the purple represents. The green is for nature. While white is

not on the flag, the other three colors are. I chose these colors to represent the LBGTQ

community and marriage within the community.

While same-sex couples are able to get married in all 50 states, they are still subjected to

mental health disorders, as are their children. Many of us grew up seeing our parents together,

and thinking that we are supposed to be with a man (if female) or we are supposed to be with a

female (if male). Many of us also grow up thinking about marriage and babies. But when you

realize you are gay or lesbian, your stuck figuring out what to do, and it takes a toll on your

mental health. While many parents are supportive of their children being gay or lesbian, many

parents are not. If you figure out that you are gay or lesbian, and you are Christian, you fear

being disowned by your parents and/or family since they strictly are against same-sex marriage.

Having this fear is not good for mental health and leads to many gay and lesbians into

depression.

Since same-sex marriage is legal in all 50 states, many same-sex couples are able to adopt

children. These children do not know any different, and it does not mean they will grow up gay

or lesbian if they have two moms or two dads. Unfortunately, though, they are subjected to

severe bullying and judgment from others and may have close friends taken from them. Mark J.
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Blecher suggests that children are the most vulnerable to the ban on same-sex marriage. He also

mentions that when they make a decision based on same-sex couples, they use children as the

reason why they can’t pass it. Even though same-sex marriage is legal in all 50 states now, this is

still relevant to this day. Many who are against same-sex marriage, state they don’t want the

children to see it, or they wouldn’t want their children raised by a same-sex couple. Studies have

found that gay and lesbians parent just as well, or even better than heterosexual couples. So why

should they be denied parental rights?

The difference between this cake’s message and the Prisoner of Your Love cake’s

message is that marriage does not have to be a jail sentence. Rev. Austin Miles states “​He will

not demand immediate gratification in areas that will be uncomfortable to his mate. He will be

disciplined and in control of his own life and therefore able to properly lead his family. In short,

the individual will have an id that is in control, not one that is too strong and impulsive” (Miles).

If the groom of the cake feels like he is not in control of his own life, and feels pressured to get

married, then he should not be getting married. It is proven that many same-sex couples last

longer than heterosexual couples because they are truly happy with themselves.

The semiotics that I have presented in this cake includes the colors and the pearl

sprinkles. The colors are representing a modern wedding cake, but also a same-sex couple cake

(even though my pink did not come out like it was supposed too). The pearl sprinkles also

represent a modern wedding cake. These semiotics can be used to see that the cake is for a

same-sex couple, and the trouble they have had to go through to get the cake because many deny

making a same-sex marriage cake. Many same-sex couples have to have a lowkey wedding,
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which means a homemade cake and a home wedding. This cake represents the struggles they go

through and the struggles they go through to even get married in the first place.

Overall, this cake is sending out a different message from the Prisoner of Your Love

cake. This cake is representing togetherness and inclusiveness, with same-sex marriage being the

main message. While many are against same-sex marriage, these folks are scared out of their

minds to come out to family and friends. This is causing them to develop mental health disorders

including depression and anxiety. Because same-sex marriage is so looked down upon, their

children are starting to feel the effect of this. Many children who are raised by same-sex couples

have friends whose parents will not let them hang out together anymore, just because their

parents are homosexual. This is causing many children to become depressed and antisocial

because they are starting to see the effects of having two moms or two dads.

While many see same-sex marriage as a sin, there are more people for same-sex marriage

than there was before. Same-sex marriage is not as looked down upon as it was before, but it is

still looked at as a transgress. Although it is more accepted in society now, these people and their

children still deal with mental health disorders every day of their lives. It truly is disgusting how

they are treated because our society has brainwashed everybody into thinking same-sex marriage

is wrong. Maybe if our society was more understanding, these people wouldn’t be looked down

upon as different or inhumane. One day, I hope to see a change and more acceptance towards

same-sex marriage.
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Bibliography

Hasnas, Sarah. ​Prisoner of Your Love​. 2019, pp. 1–5, ​Prisoner of Your Love.​

This is the original essay. It was written in September of 2019. It explains how marriage

is sometimes seen as a prison sentence for some. It will be used as a reference to the first cake.

“Prisoner of Your Love.” ​Pinterest​, ​http://in.pinterest.com/pin/438678819933792023/

This was one of 5 cakes we were able to choose from, and the cake the essay is written

on. It is a wedding cake with a bride and groom on top, with the groom being chained.

There are prison bars behind them and is signaling the “prisoner” part of the cake. It will be

mentioned in the essay.

Blechner, Mark J. “The Political Is Psychoanalytic: On Same-Sex Marriage.” ​Studies in Gender

& Sexuality​, vol. 9, no. 2, Spring 2008, pp. 146–154.

Using this article, found in the COC Library Databases, it is explaining why

psychoanalysis should look at same-sex marriage. It mentions the arguments against same-sex

marriage, and the mental health issues they face when they are excluded from marriage. It will be

used in this article to bring awareness to mental health disorders that are present in same-sex

marriages.

Miles, Rev. Austin. “Freud's Faulty Marriage Concept.” ​Renew America,​ 2013.

www.renewamerica.com/columns/miles/130605​.
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This article makes light of Freud’s faulty marriage concepts. It brings to light Freud’s

focus on sex in psychoanalysis and why marriage is not based on sex. It is used in this essay with

a quote that explains what a healthy partner in a marriage would do.