This Crazy Feeling Called Love surrounding.
by Grace Cruz We reached our room, and seated while wait for our
What is love? Funny, I cannot understand why
someone would suddenly change behavior just because of this
thing called l-o-v-e.
I would often laugh at the recollection of my friends’
attitudes towards love. Why do they hide whenever they see
their crushes coming, and after which, take secret glances at
their directions? And imagine their creativity in throwing
clandestine looks at the guys of their dreams! They would
peer through an open magazine newspaper, or whatever book
that they could lay their hands on-to the point that sometimes
they do not even notice that they are holding the page upside
down. Or sometimes, they would pretend to powder their
nose only to see the image reflected in the mirror that they
holding. Ah, you never know how creative girls can be.
And why do they seem to lose their senses if the guys
do not reciprocate their felling? Or worse, why do they feel
like it is the end of the world when they experience little
nonsense quarrels or anything of the sort.
Me? I will never, never allow myself to be fooled by
this crazy felling. I know how to handle myself. I have my
head above my heart, and that is where it should be. I do not
want to be an object or ridicule by other teenagers like me. At
least, I am sensible. I am not be fooled easily by any guy
around.
But… not until the day changed it colors- so I found.
It was the first day of the second semester. I was
taking a light snack at the canteen, before my second period
for the day. A neat-looking guy in black rimmed eyeglasses
broke my train of thoughts and asks if he could have the seat
across mine. Sure, I though, and gave him a nod.
It was a casual question on a typical day at the
canteen, but it made me throw a second quick glance at his
direction, and I caught him looking at me. Our eyes met, and
he smiled. My, what cute dimples he has! Perhaps I blushed,
and lowered my eyes. I tried to concentrate on what I was
sipping, played with the straw until the ice melted. I feel like
melting too.
I heard him ask about the time. “The time…Uh, it’s
nine thirty.” I was surprised that my voice almost did not
come out. I pinched my arms secretly. Behave, I told myself.
He was just asking about the time.
‘’Thanks,’’ he said again and quickly finished his
sandwich. Then, he stood up and with a slight bow; I
understood that he meant to end our brief encounter.
I tried to compose myself after that. They are you, I thought,
that was nothing. It was just an encounter-a meaningless
casual encounter, I told my brain. After this, I knew that we
would not meet again anymore. Or if we do, we would not
even remember having met this morning.
I was left half-smiling, half-staring at the chair
where he sat till my classmate Aida broke my trance, “It is
already time. Shall we go now?’’
‘’Ah, yes,’’ I said. “Sure!” I followed Aida as she
led the way outside the canteen. Suddenly I felt moving in
very slight steps. I looked around and saw the warm color of
professor. We recognized old friends and exchanged Hi’s and
Hello’s. We also greeted new acquaintances with broad
smiles and high fives.
When it was almost the start of the class, a guy
entered the room. My heart stopped beating for a second. He
was the guy at the canteen! He glances around and asked,
“Philosophy 102?”He was trying to check if he was at the
right room.
He looked for a vacant seat, and he saw a chair-that
unoccupied seat beside me. His notebook fell when he sat,
and it landed just right beside my foot. “I am sorry.” he
apologized. I smiled and did not say a word, but inside, my
heart was saying, it is all right even if all of your notebooks
would fall again and again. I surely wouldn’t mind.
For the whole period, I kept my face at the other
direction, but once in a while I would side glance to look at
him through the corner of my eyes. He wore his uniform
neatly, I thought. And hmmm, he seemed studios-his full
attention was focused on our professor.
That night, he was in my dreams. When I woke up,
I hurriedly prepared to go to school. Suddenly, school was the
most exciting place to go to.
I reached school quite early, so I passed by the
canteen, just like the previous day. And saw him again. My
heart thumped faster, maybe as fast as his paced steps. How
would I greet him? Should I say, “Hello, you come early
too?’’ or “What is your class today?’’
But while I was trying to compose the words that I
would say, I saw him greeting another girl, and they seemed
to know each other very well. I could not hear what they were
saying, but they seemed to be cracking jokes. They were
laughing heartily, and they seemed to be very happy.
I felt a slight pinch in my heart. I couldn’t
understand. I tried to ignore the pain, and told myself, she was
just a classmate, a friend. But when I looked again at their
direction, I saw them holding hands and they seemed to be
very comfortable with each other’s company. The way they
looked at each other’s eyes portrayed a mutual felling that had
been there long before, even before I met him yesterday in
this very same place.
The light feeling that brought I to cloud nine
yesterday crashed like the blowing torrents of Typhoon
Yolanda. It whipped me, and it slashed me-and I felt my heart
pounding. I took a deep breath, and then tried to compose
myself. I touched my head; it was still in place-my head with
its long wavy hair that was pulled up in bun. My head is still
right above my heart where it should be. I should not let this
felling let me down in any way.
I stood up and quickly walked my way past them. I
did not even bother to look. I did not care at all. I was too
young yet to fall in love.