Dear Monica,

I am sixteen years old and have decided to become a sex worker. Recently a man attempted to
recruit me as a prostitute. I need the money, so I said yes. My mom and I are barely scraping by
in terms of money at this point. She spends all her money on drugs, which is why my dad left us.
I haven’t heard from him in years. The bottom line is that no one cares about me, so I want to
make money to take care of myself. Prostitution pays a lot, so I’m okay with doing it. However,
the other day I was very uncomfortable with a man that I was providing services to. He was
really aggressive and violent; I felt degraded and humiliated by the experience. I know I can’t
expect to enjoy the sex. I agreed to the arrangement and got paid afterward; that’s how it works,
so I shouldn’t complain. I told my mom about it because I needed to talk to someone. Big
mistake. She called me a whore and made me feel even worse. She really hurt me, but I’m also
confused. I consented to having sex with these men, and I benefit from getting payment. I’ve
heard many feminists say that I have a right to bodily choice and sexual expression. I’m not
comfortable with sex work, but isn’t it my choice what I do with my body? Please give me
advice. I have no one else to turn to.
--Confused Teen

Dear Confused Teen,

First and foremost, I want to say that I am sorry that you are struggling with money and your
current situation. You are entitled to sexual expression, but your entry into sex work seems less
about bodily choice and more about your vulnerabilities. Let me explain. There are multiple
aspects of your situation that make you vulnerable to entering and being trapped in prostitution:
being a minor, parental neglect, poverty, parental substance abuse, etc. This means that instead
of “deciding” to enter prostitution, you were more or less pushed into it by your situation. Also,
getting paid is not the same as giving fully informed consent. Fully informed consent is when
you are aware of the full range of choices you have in your situation and their consequences. I’m
sure that when you started sex work, the man who recruited you did not warn you about the
consequences, like sexual and verbal abuse. You should never feel hurt or uncomfortable during
sex. All in all, you are not a whore and sexuality should not to be stigmatized. However, sex
work relies on taking advantage of oppressed women. Are you working as a prostitute because of
your freedom of choice or as a way to make money to afford necessities? If the latter is true, I
encourage you to rethink your involvement with sex work because you are being coerced by
your circumstances. It is understandable that you would take drastic measures to obtain money,
but your safety is valued above all else. Stay strong.
---Monica