Definition of Sclera.

docx
by Alexandra Gulian

Submission date: 30-Sep-2019 12:59AM (UTC-0700)

Submission ID: 1182946526
File name: Definition_of_Sclera.docx (287.33K)
Word count: 1548
Character count: 7842
 Two Successes: I really enjoyed reading this definition. 1) Great incorporation of relevant,
authoritative research to support the definition. 2) Great choice of secondary topics
(evolution and disease). Interesting to reader. Two Challenges: 1) You can probably
reconsider the "chunking" here. See below for more details.

One-Sent Def

great sentence "glue"!

very good
start.

Reconsider what section this next paragraph is in: it seems to belong in a section on "Age" or maybe "New
Research"?

the graph seems to show decrease--say so

here
 good.

"while" indicates opposition, so both parts of this sentence should be about either color, or amount
shown out of eye socket.

Develop

hmmm, but don't tree-living animals communicate with eyes, too? or no?
explain.
 again, don't other animals hunt in packs and
cooperate?

I love that you started with "suggests," which indicates the difficulty of
proving causation here.

Awesome summary, and you've now

answered my questions. If you decide to
revise this for your portfolio, consider
reorganizing to at least gesture toward
these theories earlier.
smart analysis!
add citations to
figures.
Definition of Sclera.docx
ORIGINALITY REPORT

3 %
SIMILARITY INDEX
1%
INTERNET SOURCES
0%
PUBLICATIONS
3%
STUDENT PAPERS

PRIMARY SOURCES

1
Submitted to The University of Manchester
Student Paper 1%
2
Submitted to University of Auckland
Student Paper 1%
3
Submitted to University of Sheffield
Student Paper 1%
4
Submitted to Deakin University
Student Paper 1%
5
biomechanical.asmedigitalcollection.asme.org
Internet Source 1%

Exclude quotes On Exclude matches < 4 words

Exclude bibliography On
Definition of Sclera.docx
GRADEMARK REPORT

FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

Instructor

94
PAGE 1
/100

Text Comment. Two Successes: I really enjoyed reading this definition. 1) Great incorporation
of relevant, authoritative research to support the definition. 2) Great choice of secondary topics
(evolution and disease). Interesting to reader. Two Challenges: 1) You can probably reconsider the
"chunking" here. See below for more details.

QM One-Sent Def
In Markel on Definitions, we learned a strategy for writing one-sentence definition, and our prompt
requires students to begin their definitions with one. Can you add one?

Text Comment. great sentence "glue"!

Text Comment. very good start.

Text Comment. Reconsider what section this next paragraph is in: it seems to belong in a
section on "Age" or maybe "New Research"?

Text Comment. the graph seems to show decrease--say so here

PAGE 2

Text Comment. good.

Text Comment. "while" indicates opposition, so both parts of this sentence should be about
either color, or amount shown out of eye socket.
 QM Develop
Can you develop this claim or idea? Build it with more explanation, examples, or details.

Text Comment. hmmm, but don't tree-living animals communicate with eyes, too? or no?
explain.

PAGE 3

Text Comment. again, don't other animals hunt in packs and cooperate?

Text Comment. I love that you started with "suggests," which indicates the difficulty of proving
causation here.

Text Comment. Awesome summary, and you've now answered my questions. If you decide to
revise this for your portfolio, consider reorganizing to at least gesture toward these theories earlier.

PAGE 4

Text Comment. smart analysis!

PAGE 5

Text Comment. add citations to figures.

PAGE 6

PAGE 7

PAGE 8
RUBRIC: 363 DEFINITION RUBRIC

RHET. FOCUS Advanced

SLO #1: Write formally and informally, in-class and out-of-class, for a variety of audiences and purposes.

ABSENT OR BELOW Audience's needs are often not recognized: terms and ideas need explanation and
BASIC language needs adjustment for the audience. Purpose (to define or term or concept)isn't
clear or achieved.

DEVELOPING Shows some attention to audience's needs, sometimes defining necessary terms and
ideas and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to define or term or concept)
may be unclear at times, and it may not be achieved convincingly.

PROFICIENT Shows attention to audience's needs, defining necessary terms and ideas and using
audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to define or term or concept) may be implied,
but it's clear and achieved.

ADVANCED Shows sophisticated attention to audience's needs, defining necessary terms and ideas
and using audience-appropriate language. Purpose (to define a term or concept) is clear
and achieved with style.

ETHIC RESRCH Advanced

SLO #2: Using the appropriate major’s customary citation style, ethically cite and communicate information from
a variety of discipline-appropriate sources.

ABSENT OR BELOW Omits or uses incorrectly quotation marks and/or MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style (number
BASIC system) parenthetical citations and works cited list. Many citation errors. Does not cite
from a variety of discipline-appropriate sources. May be over-reliant on a single source.

DEVELOPING A few errors in quotation marks, MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style (number system)
parenthetical citations and works cited list. May cite superficially from sources. May be
over-reliant on a single source.

PROFICIENT Correctly uses quotation marks and MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style (number system)
parenthetical citations and works cited list. May have 1-2 citation errors. Cites from a
variety of discipline-appropriate sources.

ADVANCED Consistently and correctly uses quotation marks and MLA-, APA-, or Wikipedia-style
(number system) in-text (parenthetical) and end-of-text (reference list) citations for all
sources, whether quoted directly or paraphrased. Cites from a variety of discipline-
appropriate sources. Never over-reliant on a single source.

PERS/SUPPORT Advanced
SLO #3: Compare, evaluate, synthesize, and communicate carefully, objectively, and persuasively the relative
merits of alternative or opposing arguments, assumptions, and cultural values.

ABSENT OR BELOW Fails to support claims with specific explanations, examples, etc.. Objectivity may be
BASIC lacking.

DEVELOPING Attempts to support claims with explanations, examples, etc., but specificity and/or
 objectivity may be lacking.

PROFICIENT Usually supports the definition's claims with relevant, thorough, and specific explanations,
examples, etc.. Usually maintains objectivity.

ADVANCED Supports the definition's claims with relevant, thorough, and specific explanations,
examples, etc.. Maintains objectivity.

ORGANIZATION Proficient
SLO #4: Organize, focus, and communicate one’s thoughts clearly and effectively to address a rhetorical
situation.

ABSENT OR BELOW Organizational devices (one-sentence definition; introduction; logical partitioning; topic
BASIC sentences, headings, transitions) may be absent, unrelated to the prompt, or illogically
connected. Ps contain multiple topics or are disorganized.

DEVELOPING Organizational devices (one-sentence definition; introduction; logical partitioning; topic

sentences, headings, transitions) fit the prompt, but may be vague, too broad, or
inconsistenly or illogically linked. Ps may not be unified.

PROFICIENT Clear organizational devices (one-sentence definition; introduction; logical partitioning;

topic sentences, headings, transitions) fit the prompt and tie ideas and topics together
adequately. Ps are usually unified.

ADVANCED Clear, specific organizational devices (one-sentence definition; introduction; logical

partitioning; topic sentences, headings, transitions) fit the prompt and tie ideas and topics
together logically and seamlessly. Paragraphs are unified.

LANG & DESIGN Advanced

SLO # 5: Recognize, evaluate, and employ the features and contexts of language and design that express and
influence meaning and that demonstrate sensitivity to gender and cultural differences.

ABSENT OR BELOW Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors impede readability. Language may reflect a
BASIC gender or cultural bias or be too high or too low. Design may be unconventional and
ineffective.

DEVELOPING Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors often impede readability or otherwise
distract from meaning. Style may be either too high or too low. Language may occasionally
suggest a gender or cultural bias. Design may be inconventional or ineffective.

PROFICIENT Spelling, syntax, diction, or punctuation errors are few and do not distract from meaning.
Middle-level-style. Language respects gender and cultural differences. Design is
conventional and effective.

ADVANCED Outstanding control of language, with middle-level style, including effective diction and
sentence variety. Language respects gender and cultural differences. Design is
conventional and effective.