Blog-1: How to Overcome Fear of Failure

Blog-2: 14 Ways To Conquer Fear

How to Overcome Fear of Failure

Co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC
Updated: October 3, 2019

Explore this ArticleReframing FailureWorking with the Fear of FailureOvercoming Panic Caused
by FearShow 1 more...Article SummaryQuestions & AnswersRelated ArticlesReferences
Fear is something we all experience, especially when setting out on any new
undertaking. Failure is one of the most common and most damaging fears that many
people struggle with.[1] However, failure is often the first step toward success: highly
successful people such as Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling and billionaire entrepreneur
Richard Branson are very vocal about how often they have failed and how that has
shaped their success.[2] Merely avoiding the feeling of fear is not likely; however, you
can take a close look at your fear of failure and then work with it to shape your future
success. Read on to learn how to move past your fear and toward your goals.

Part1
Edit Reframing Failure
1.

1
Recognize failures as learning experiences. When people are mastering a skill or
project, failure is a necessary part of the learning process. Learning requires exploration
and creativity, and both of these approaches offer the opportunity to learn what doesn’t
work, as well as what does. We can’t explore the depths of what knowledge has to offer
until we try. Embracing failure as a learning experience allows you to see it as a gift, not
a punishment or sign of weakness.[3]
  Remember that many others have been in the same situation. Consider Myshkin
Ingawale, an Indian inventor who had to test 32 prototypes of his technology before he
found the one that worked. He could have given up and characterized himself as a
failure after any of those roadblocks, but he kept focused on learning from his mistakes
and applying them to the future, and now his invention has cut maternal death rates in
rural India by 50%.[4]
2.

2
Re-evaluate your approach. Often times, when a result doesn't match our
expectations, we are tempted to mark the attempt as a failure. This is “all or nothing”
thinking, and it’s a distortion of healthy thinking that encourages you to judge everything
in absolute terms, rather than examining them in a nuanced way. [5] However, if we view
our results as more or less effective, with the aim of improvement, we are able to
always make positive changes.[6]
 Studies show that people who are successful usually don’t encounter fewer or more
setbacks than people who aren’t. The key is entirely in how you interpret those
setbacks. Don’t let them convince you that success is impossible.[7]
 Meeting your idealized results takes time and hard work. Success is a process. Don't let
any perceived failures prevent you from continuing that process.
 Don't run from this process, but embrace it, knowing that it will only yield better results.
 Remember that you can’t control or predict everything. View unexpected variations or
fluctuation as what they are: external elements beyond your control. Only account for
what is in your control.
 Make sure your goals are realistic and obtainable

3
Take things slow. Rushing into new ventures without any personal preparation can
make things worse. You will need to work through your fear or failure at your own pace,
without pushing too far outside your comfort zone all at once. [8]
 Try to find smaller steps you can take towards your goals that you feel comfortable with.
 Think of any long term or large scale goals in terms of these small steps that you know
you can accomplish.

4
Be kind to yourself. Don't mock your fears, they are there for a reason. Work with your
fears, treating yourself sympathetically and with understanding. The more you learn
about why you have these fears and what causes them, the better you can work with
them.[9][10]
 Write your fears down in detail. Don't be afraid to explore exactly why and what you
fear.
 Accept that these fears are a part of you. Accepting your fears can help you to regain
control over them.

5
Take notes. Learning from the past is critical to building a better future for yourself.
Keep careful track of what worked, what didn't, and why. Plan any future actions in
accordance with what you have learned from past actions.[11]
 Improving your future plans by keeping track of what works and what doesn't will help
ease the fear of failure.
 Learn to value failure. Failure is just as informative and valuable as success.
 Experiencing failure will allow you to learn from what didn’t work and will help you avoid
that setback in future attempts. You will likely still encounter challenges, roadblocks,
and setbacks, but you will be better equipped to overcome them with the knowledge you
have gained.

2
Part

Edit Working with the Fear of Failure

 1
Look into your fear of failure more deeply. Often times the fear of failure is only a
general understanding of what we are truly afraid of. If this fear of failure is examined, it
may be discovered that there are other fears underlying it. These specific fears can be
addressed and worked with, once identified.[12]
 Fear of failure is often only a broad level of understanding what the issue is.
 We may be afraid to fail, but failure is often tied to other ideas such as self-worth or self-
image.
 There are links that trace fear of failure to shame.
 Examples of more specific fears may include being worried about losing security from a
risky investment or being exposed to humiliation from your peers.

2
Avoid personalizing and overgeneralizing failure. It can be easy to see something
that you interpret as a failure and extend that lack of success to yourself. You may also
take a single instance of failure and apply it to your whole life and self. You might think,
“I’m a loser” or “I’m worthless at this” because your efforts are not having the results you
hope for.[13] While this is common, it is not helpful, and it isn’t true, either.[14]
 Examine the script in your head about this event. We often allow our thoughts to slip
into predictable scripts that aren’t helpful. For example, if you’re working on an invention
and the 17th try has just bombed, you might experience this script: “Yep, I’m never
going to get this right. I’m a failure.” The facts of the situation are simply that this try
hasn’t worked. The facts say nothing about you as a person, or about the possibility of
future success. Separate the facts from your script.

3
Reject perfectionism. Some people believe that perfectionism is the same as healthy
ambition or standards of excellence, but on the contrary, perfectionism can
actually cause failures. Perfectionists are often obsessed with the fear of failure. Often,
 they categorize anything that does not meet their unreasonably high standards as a
“failure.” This can lead to things such as procrastination because you are so worried
about your work being imperfect that you can never finish it. Set healthy, ambitious
standards for yourself and acknowledge that sometimes, your work won’t quite meet
them.[15]
 Studies have shown that professors who are perfectionists produce fewer research
studies and papers than professors who are adaptive and open to critique. [16]
 Perfectionism can also make you more likely to develop mental health conditions such
as depression and eating disorders.

4
Stay positive. It can be quite easy to focus on past failures and let them prevent you
from future success. Instead of focusing exclusively on how badly things seem to have
gone, focus on what went well and what was learned.. [17]
 Even if your main goal didn't succeed, you can still have success if you learn from the
experience.
 Focusing on only negative aspects will make the situation appear to be just that, entirely
negative.
 By focusing on successes and positive aspects, you will learn what works and be better
prepared for the future.

5
Continue learning. If you are fearful of failing at a new task or are worried about failing
a familiar one, you can keep your skills up to date to help with this. By practicing your
skills and demonstrating to yourself that you are competent in whatever area you focus
on, you will boost your self-confidence. Acknowledge what you do well, as well as the
areas in which you can further develop.[18]
 Reinforce your existing skills. Always keep up to date with any new best practices that
might be employed in that skill set.
 Learn new skills. By learning new skills you will enrich your skill set and be better
prepared for a wider variety of situations that might arise as you pursue your goals.
 6
Take action. The only true failure is the one that happens when you never even try.
Taking the first step is generally the most difficult; however, it is also the most important.
It is natural to feel afraid and uncomfortable when trying something new. You can take
some steps to help you deal with this discomfort.[19]
 Give yourself permission to feel uncomfortable. Everyone has moments when they feel
uncomfortable or afraid of challenges, even incredibly successful billionaire
businessmen. Acknowledge that this fear is natural and okay, and stop fighting it or
repressing it. Instead, resolve to work even though you feel afraid.
 Remember to break down your larger goals into smaller ones. Having these smaller
stages that you know you can accomplish will make the larger goal less intimidating.
 Moving forward will give you new information and allow you to adjust your course of
action towards success.

7
Expose yourself to failure. By actively exposing yourself to failure, you will learn that
failure is not as frightening as you may believe it to be. This is a technique known as
exposure therapy and it can be used to lessen the effects of fear in your life.[20] This
type of practice will give you experience in dealing with fear or discomfort and
discovering that you can work through it to experience success.
 Find a new hobby or activity that you are unskilled at. Start practicing and look forward
to the failures you encounter, knowing that they will only increase your success in the
future.
 For example, start playing a new instrument. Failures along the way to competency with
this instrument will be common. These failures will give you many opportunities to get
comfortable with failure. They will also show you that failure is not total or debilitating.
Just because you fail the first hundred times you try to play the Moonlight Sonata
doesn’t mean you’ll never get it right.
 You might also try asking strangers for simple things such as a mint or a discount when
buying something. Your goal is to fail, reframing failure as success and nullifying the
limiting effects fear can have on your behavior.[21]

3
Part

Edit Overcoming Panic Caused by Fear

1
Realize you are panicking. Sometimes, the fear of failing can trigger responses in the
body similar to panic or anxiety attacks caused by any other fear. Your first step in
stopping such a panic attack is to realize the symptoms at the onset of one. Look for
some of the following symptoms:[22]
 Increased heart rate or irregular heart rhythm.
 Difficulty breathing or tightness in throat.
 Tingling, shaking, or sweating.
 Feeling light-headed, dizzy, or as if you are about to pass out.

2
Take deep breaths. During a panic attack, your breathing will likely consist of short,
quick breaths that will only help maintain the panicked state. Take control of your
breathing and inhale deeply and slowly, to help bring back a normal rhythm to your
breath.[23]
 Breath in slowly, for five seconds, through your nose. Use your diaphragm, not your
chest, to breath in. Your stomach should rise with the breath, not your chest.
 Exhale at the same slow pace, again, through your nose. Make sure you fully exhale all
the air in your lungs while focusing on counting to five.
 Repeat this cycle of breathing until you begin to feel calm.

3
 Relax your muscles. Your body will likely be very tense during a panic attack and this
tension will only add to the feeling of anxiety. Work to release the tension in your
muscles by tensing, holding, and releasing those muscles.[24][25][26]
 You can tense and release all the muscles in your body at once, for a quick and full
body relaxation technique.
 For greater relaxation, start by tensing the muscles in your feet, holding them for a few
seconds, and then releasing the tension. Move up your body, tensing and releasing
your lower leg, upper leg, stomach, back, chest, shoulders, arms, neck, and face.

Part4
Edit Overcoming Negative Thoughts

1
Try STOPPing. This helpful acronym can help you avoid reacting with immediate fear in
situations. When you encounter that fear of failure, practice the following: [27]
 Stop what you are doing. Whatever you’re doing, stop and take a step back from the
situation. Give yourself some time to think before reacting.
 Take a deep breath. Take a few moments to cleanse yourself with a few deep breaths.
This will restore oxygen to your brain and help you make clearer decisions.
 Observe what is going on. Ask yourself some questions. What is going on in your mind?
What are you feeling? What is the “script” in your head right now? Are you considering
the facts? Are you giving more weight to opinions? What are you focusing on?
 Pull back for perspective. Try to imagine the situation from the perspective of an
impartial observer. What would she see in this situation? Is there another way of
approaching this situation? How big is this situation in the grand scheme of things -- will
it even matter 6 days or 6 months from now?
 Proceed based on your principles. Go forth with what you know and have determined.
Practice what is most in line with your values and goals.

2
Challenge negative self-talk. We’re often our own worst critics. You may discover that
your inner critic is always dissatisfied with you, telling you things like “I’m not good
enough” or “I will never get this right” or “I shouldn’t even bother trying this.” When you
 discover those types of thoughts, challenge them. They’re unhelpful, and even more,
they’re untrue.[28][29]
 Think how you’d counsel a friend. Imagine that it is a friend or loved one in your
situation. Perhaps your best friend is afraid of leaving her day job to pursue her dream
of becoming a musician. What would you tell her? Would you immediately imagine her
failure, or would you find ways to support her? Give yourself the same compassion and
belief that you would show a loved one.
 Think whether you’re generalizing. Are you taking one specific instance and
generalizing it to your whole experience? For example, if your science project has not
worked, are you extending that failure to every aspect of your life and saying something
like “I’m a failure”?

3
Avoid catastrophizing. When you catastrophize, you fall into the trap of assuming that
the absolute worst thing that could possibly happen will happen. You allow your fear to
send your thoughts spiraling out of control, making logical leaps. You can challenge this
by slowing down and asking yourself for evidence for your assumptions. [30]
 For example, perhaps you are worried that if you change your college major to a subject
that you really want to study but find challenging, you will fail. From there, your thoughts
could spiral into catastrophizing: “If I fail this major I’ll flunk out of college. I’ll never find a
job. I’ll have to live in my parents’ basement for the rest of my life and eat ramen
noodles. I’ll never be able to date or get married or have kids.” Obviously, this is an
extreme case, but it’s an example of how fear can send your thoughts wildly out into left
field.
 Try to put your thoughts into perspective. For example, if you’re afraid to change your
college major because you’re worried you will fail, consider: what is the worst thing that
could really happen, and how likely is it? In this case, the worst thing that happens is
that you aren’t good at organic chemistry (or whatever subject attracts you) and fail a
few courses. This is not a calamity. There are many actions you can take to help you
get past these failures, such as hiring a tutor, studying more, and speaking with
professors.
 The more likely situation is that you find your new subject difficult at first, but you learn
and grow and finish college happy that you pursued your passion.
 4
Recognize that you’re usually your own worst critic. The fear of failure may stem
from the belief that others are scrutinizing your every move. You may feel like any little
slip-up will be noted and spread around. However, the fact is that most people are so
engaged with their own issues and worries that they don’t have the time or effort to
scrutinize every tiny thing you do.[31]
 Look for evidence that contradicts your assumptions. For example, you may be worried
about going to parties because you’re afraid you may say something foolish or make a
joke that bombs. This fear of failure could keep you from enjoying social interactions
with others. However, you could consider past experience and others’ experiences to
help you get past this fear.
 For example, you could think about whether any of your friends or anyone you know
has ever made a social faux pas. It’s practically guaranteed that you can think of
someone who’s had a social slip-up. Did their mistake result in them being shunned or
everyone viewing them as a failure? Probably not.
 The next time you find yourself fearing that you will encounter failure and be judged for
it, remind yourself: “Everyone makes mistakes. I give myself permission to slip up or
look silly. This will not make me a failure.”
 If you do encounter people who are are harsh judges or overly critical, recognize that
the problem is with them, not with you.

Tips
2. Thinking about entire projects all at once can be overwhelming. Think in terms of
smaller steps that you know you can accomplish.

3. If you learn from an experience, it is still a success.

4. Treat yourself kindly, everyone experiences fear.



Community Q&A
 Question

How can I succeed again after a past failure?

Community Answer

Learn from your failure. Think about what you can do differently to avoid it in the future
and apply those lessons to reach success.
Not Helpful 3Helpful 12

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 Question

How do I stay focused toward my goals all the time?

Community Answer

Decide which goal you have to accomplish. Write down points about it. Then make a
schedule in which you take steps toward your goal without disturbing yourself or your
routine. Follow it every day. Make at least 1-2 hours for it. Do this every day.
Not Helpful 1Helpful 7

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 Question

How can I overcome my fear of speaking in front of many people?

Brian Salazar-Prince, Top Answerer
260 answers
Knows about Psychology Careers, Burns and Scalds, Psychology Studies, and more.
Brian Salazar-Prince
Top Answerer

In therapy, we use a process called gradual exposure or exposure therapy - meaning

that we start with thinking about the idea and gradually work up to carrying out the act.
I'd suggest trying that: start with one person, then add another, and another, and
another. The more comfortable you are with the people, the better. Public speaking is
absolutely terrifying; as a matter of fact, it's more feared among Americans than death.
With that being said, once you do it, there's really nothing to it.
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I have a state spelling bee coming up and I know I will lose. What do I do?
Galasy4969, Top Answerer
1266 answers
 Knows about Astrology, Christianity, Losing Weight, and more.
Galasy4969
Top Answerer

Practice. Hard. Remember that if you try your best, you have not failed, even if you don't
win. If you genuinely struggle with spelling bees, don't use them as a measure of your
self-worth. Try and find a competition that better matches your skills and/or interests.
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Edit Tips
 Thinking about entire projects all at once can be overwhelming. Think in terms of
smaller steps that you know you can accomplish.

 If you learn from an experience, it is still a success.

 Treat yourself kindly, everyone experiences fear.

Edit Related wikiHows

Jan 4, 2016, 09:12am

Blog-2:

14 Ways To Conquer Fear

Josh SteimleSubscriber
Entrepreneurs

I cover digital marketing for the entrepreneur as well as the CMO.

This article is more than 2 years old.

TWEET THIS
 When you try to ignore your fear, it grows. When you face it, it shrinks.

At the beginning of each new year many people consider making resolutions to change for the
better. Of those who succeed in making resolutions many fail. But many fail before they give
success a chance because of fear. Some are afraid of failure, others are afraid of success.
Regardless of the source of the fear, it immobilizes too many and prevents them from achieving
what they desire and are capable of.

There is no more sure way to fail than to never try. This year, don’t let fear kill your hustle
before you even get moving. Here are 14 ways to overcome fear and make this year the one
where nothing holds you back.

(Photo: iStock)

1. Understand fear and embrace it. Fear exists to keep us safe. It is not inherently bad or good
but a tool we can use to make better decisions. Fear isn’t designed to keep us inactive, but to help
us act in ways that generate the results we need and want. Embrace fear as instruction and let it
inform your actions, but not control them.
Today In: Entrepreneurs

2. Don’t just do something, stand there! We tend to admire people who are quick to action, but
being deliberate, creating a plan, and pacing yourself are also actions. Many a successful
undertaking has been threatened or ruined by haste alone. When fear strikes consider whether the
correct action might be to analyze the options and make a wise, well thought out choice rather
than jumping to what seems right in the heat of the moment.

3. Name the fear. Sometimes merely stating what your fear is gives you the strength to deal with
it. Say your fear out loud, write it down, or focus your mind on it. When you try to ignore your
fear, it grows. When you face it, it shrinks.

PROMOTED

4. Think long term. If you’re an entrepreneur, you may be afraid you won’t make the next
payroll. But what’s your three month outlook, or the outlook for three years from now? Thinking
about the long term won’t fix your short term problem, but it can help you think about it more
objectively and come up with the right solution.

5. Educate yourself. We are afraid of nothing so much as the unknown. If your fear is based on
a lack of information, then get the information or knowledge you need to examine the situation
based on facts rather than speculation.

6. Prepare, practice, role play. The long standing top fear in the United States is public
speaking. In many surveys, death itself ranks in second place to standing in front of a group and
opening your mouth. If your fear is related to your performance in a certain activity then prepare,
practice, and role play. Carmine Gallo, author of Talk Like TED, told me about Dr. Jill Bolte-
Taylor who practiced her popular TED talk (over 18 million views and counting) more than 200
times. If you don’t have that much time, Gallo says “I find that practicing a presentation a
minimum of 10 times is ideal.”

7. Utilize peer pressure. Have you ever done something scary, like jumping off a high bridge
into a river below, only because you were with friends who were egging you on? Peer pressure,
like fear itself, can be positive or negative depending on how it’s wielded. Surround yourself
with people who will push you to overcome the fears that are holding you back from what you
want.

8. Visualize success. Athletes may imagine the successful completion of a physical task
thousands of times before achieving it. This mental mapping ensures that when the body moves,
it’s more likely to follow its pre-ordained path. The same practice will prepare you to succeed at
whatever you’re trying to achieve.

9. Gain a sense of proportion. How big of a deal, really, is the thing you’re afraid of? We
sometimes get so caught up in the success or failure of a particular quest that we lose sense of
where it fits in with everything else we value. Ask yourself what’s the worst that can happen?
Sometimes the reality is bad, but often you might find that the fear itself is worse than whatever
it is you’re afraid of happening.
10. Get help. Whatever you’re afraid of, is it something you have to do alone? Can you find a
mentor or support group to help you through it? Athletes have coaches. Students have teachers.
Sometimes friends, even if they have no expertise in the area you’re struggling with, can provide
the needed support to face your fear.

11. Follow others, find a recipe. Are you doing something that has never been done, or can you
follow the footsteps of someone else who has accomplished it before? Is there a formula for
success? Has someone written a book on the topic, or can you tweak a formula from another
field to meet your needs?

12. Have a positive attitude. In Brian Tracy’s book The Power of Self-Confidence: Become
Unstoppable, Irresistible, and Unafraid in Every Area of Your Life he asks “What would you do
differently if you were absolutely guaranteed of success in any undertaking?” Would you try
more things? Would you keep working long after others would have given up? People who have
positive attitudes are successful because they keep trying after others give up.

13. Be willing to pivot. As the adage goes, “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” But
there’s also the saying “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting
different results.” If you’re afraid to do something again because it didn’t work out the last time,
figure out why it didn’t work, and try something different before you give up trying altogether.

14. Focus on others as your motivation. There are things we would never do for ourselves that
we would quickly and fearlessly do for others. Hyrum Smith, the co-founder of FranklinCovey,
once asked a mother in his audience during a presentation if she would be willing to cross a
standard metal “I beam” placed from the roof of one skyscraper to another. She said no, she
wouldn’t. He asked her if she would do it for a million dollars, and added that now there was a
bit of wind and some raindrops falling. She still wouldn’t. Then he told her to imagine he was
holding her child over the edge of the opposite building, and if she wasn’t there in 10 seconds he
would drop the child. What do you think her answer was under those circumstances?

What methods have you used successfully for overcoming fear? Tell us in the comments below.

Follow me on Twitter or LinkedIn. Check out my website or some of my other work here.

Josh Steimle

I live in Hong Kong where I'm opening a branch office of my digital marketing
firm MWI, which is headquartered in Salt Lake City, Utah. In addition to
Forbes, my writing has also been published in Entrepreneur, Fast Company,
VentureBeat, Business Insider, TechinAsia, and the South China Morning
Post. I focus on entrepreneurship, startups, online marketing, and Asia. Born
and raised through high school in Arcadia, California, I also spent two years at
college in Idaho, two years in the Amazon as a missionary for The Church of
Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (aka Mormons), and 15 years in Utah, first at
Brigham Young University studying information systems management, and
then working for various startups including a few of my own. In June, 2013 I
moved to Hong Kong where I'm opening a branch office of my online
marketing firm MWI and learning Cantonese and Mandarin with my wife and
two children. My hobbies include skateboarding, triathlon, reading, and
blogging. I write about entrepreneurship, startups, learning from success and
failure, online marketing, innovation, and anything lean. If you have a question
or suggestion, email me. I'm always looking for good ideas and great startups
to write about.

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