The effects of parental divorce on

adolescent girls in South Africa: An exploratory

study of current status.

by

Nicole Jane Lefson

Dissertation submitted in
partial fulfillment of the
requirements foathe degree

Master of Arts
in

Clinical Psychology

in the

Faculty of Arts

at the

Rand Afrikaans University

Supervisor: Dr. Annemarie Novello

February 1997
Acknowledgments

I wish to express my appreciation and thanks to:

- all the many people who helped me; guided me and

supported me in this venture.

Dr. A. Novello, my supervisor, for agreeing to undertake the

supervision of this study. Her patience, guidance, genuine
interest and understanding is appreciated.

Rand Afrikaans University and the Human Sciences Research Council for
providing financial assistance which made these years of study
possible. The opinion of this study are those of the writer
and in no way reflect the opinions of the Rand Afrikaans
University or the Human Sciences Research Council.

Alana Brozin, Lisa Fisher and my wonderful new step-brother, Michael Ford for
proof reading my script.

My mother, Angie Lefson; sister, Carryn, and fiancee, Paul Hutton for
constant support and ongoing encouragement.

- The lecturers of Clinical Psychology at RAU, all of whom

taught me so much in his or her own way.

- Marna Young, Lee-Ann Hartman, Steven Kaplan, Zodwa

Maotlhodi, Harnisha Nathoo, Danna van Niekerk and Gerald
Williamson for their friendship and support during our
Masters together.
"If the nuclear family can be likened to a small, quiet pond,
its waters unruffled and at peace, then divorce is a large
boulder hurled violently into its middle. The shock waves
surge across the entire surface, leaving no edge untouched."
( Johnson & Rosenfeld, 1990, p.218)
 CONTENTS
Page number

Abstract i
Opsomming ii

CHAPTER

GENERAL INTRODUCTION

1.1 Introduction 1
1.2 Divorce statistics in South Africa 1
1.3 Reason for choice of topic 2
1.4 Research methodology 3
1.5 Clarification of concepts 4

DIVORCE

2.1 Introduction 6
2.2 The phenomenon of divorce 6
2.3 Divorce in South Africa 7
2.4 Stages of divorce 7
2.5 The divorced family 8
2.6 The effects of divorce on the divorcing couple 8
2.6.1 Health 8
2.6.2 Self-esteem 9
2.6.3 Support networks 9
2.6.4 Parenting 9
2.6.4.1 Role reversal 10
2.6.4.2 Parentification 11
2.7 Children and divorce 11
2.7.1 Divorce as a disruption 12
2.7.2 Some earlier studies conducted on children and divorce 14
2.7.3 Some positive aspects of divorce 15
2.8 Conclusion 15

THE EFFECTS OF DIVORCE ON ADOLESCENTS

3.1 Adolescence 17
3.1.1 Developmental stages during adolescence 18
3.1.2 Normal developmental tasks of adolescence 19
3.1.3 Biological change during adolescence 19
3.1.4 Cognitive behavioral stage of development 20
3.1.5 The parent-child relationships during adolescence 21
3.1.6 The peer group 22
3.2 Adolescents and parental divorce 22
3.2.1 Timing of parental divorce 24
3.3 Adolescents' reactions to parental divorce 24
3.3.1 Adolescent depression and sadness 26
3.3.2 Parental depression and adolescent adjustment 26
3.4 The effects of divorce on the psychological tasks of adolescence 27
3.5 Variables of adolescent development and divorce 28
3.6 Children at risk 29
3.6.1 Short-term effects of divorce 30
3.6.2 Long-term consequences of divorce 30
3.7 Interparental conflict 31
3.7.1 Triangulation of children 32
3.7.2 Parent-child relationships at the time of divorce 33
3.7.2.1 The mother-child relationship 33
3.7.2.2 The father-child relationship 34
3.7.2.3 Parents as role models 36
3.8 Deviance amongst adolescence 36
3.9 Support systems 36
3.9.1 Grandparent support 37
3.9.2 Sibling support 37
3.9.3 Support from friends 38
3.9.4 Support from teachers 38
3.10 Coping with the divorce 39
3.10.1 Dealing with children's responses 39
3.10.1.1 Anger 39
3.10.1.2 Guilt 39
3.10.1.3 Regression 40
3.10.1.4 Loneliness 40
3.10.1.5 Somatic symptoms 40
3.10.1.6 Difficulties in trusting relationships 40
3.10.1.7 Sadness and depression 41
3.11 Parental divorce and religious beliefs 41
3.12 Summary and conclusion 41

4. RESEARCH METHODOLOGY

4.1 Choice of research topic and type of research 43

4.2 Qualitative research 43
4.3 The researcher in qualitative research 44
4.4 Research goals 45
4.5 Data collection 45
4.5.1 Unstructured interviews 45
4.5.2 Interview guide 46
4.5.3 Participant observation 46
4.6 Recording the data 47
4.6.1 Research setting 47
4.6.2 Building rapport 47
4.6.3 Field notes 48
4.7 Data analysis, interpretation and final phase 48
4.8 Personal research methodology 49
4.8.1 Reasons for choice of topic 49
4.8.2 Research goals 49
4.8.3 Data collection 50
4.8.3.1 Unstructured interviews 51
4.8.3.2 Interview guide 51
4.8.3.3 Participant observer 51
4.8.4 Recording the data 51
4.8.4.1 Research setting 51
4.8.4.2 Building rapport 51
4.8.4.3 Field notes 52
4.8.5 Data analysis, interpretation and final phase 52
4.9 Evaluation of the qualitative research framework 52

5. RESULTS

5.1 Biographical details 53

5.2 Family relationships 56
5.2.1 Parent-adolescent communication about the divorce
and other problems 56
5.2.2 Sibling relationships 58
5.2.3 Extended family relationships 60
5.3 The divorce 61
5.3.1 Parent relationships before the divorce 61
5.3.2 Feelings and reactions 63
5.3.3 Changes after the divorce 66
5.3.4 Living arrangements 67
5.3.5 Sources of support 69
5.4 Friends and peer group 72
5.4.1 Peer group 72
5.4.2 Changes experienced within peer group after
parental divorce 75
5.5 School and academic performance 76
5.5.1 Academic performance 77
5.5.2 School behaviour and attendance 79
5.5.3 Teacher support 80
5.6 Somatic symptoms, physical health and social activities 81
5.6.1 Adolescent functioning after the divorce 81
5.6.2 Substance abuse 84
5.6.3 Intimate relationships 84
5.7 Religion 86
5.7.1 Religion as a support after parental divorce 87
5.8 Conclusion 88
5.8.1 Recommendations and suggestions from subjects 88

DISCUSSION OF RESULTS

6.1 Family relationships 91

6.1.1 Parent-child relationship 91
6.1.2 Sibling relationship 93
6.1.3 Extended family relationships 94
6.2 The divorce 94
6.2.1 Parental relationship prior to the divorce 94
6.2.2 Feelings and reactions 95
6.2.3 Changes after the divorce 98
6.2.4 Living arrangements 99
6.2.5 Sources of support 100
6.3 Friends and peer group 100
6.4 School and academic performance 101
6.4.1 Academic performance 102
6.4.2 Teacher support 103
6.5 Somatic symptoms, physical health and social activities 104
6.5.1 Substance abuse 105
6.5.2 Intimate relationships 105
6.6 Religion 107
6.7 Conclusion 107
6.7.1 Suggestions and recommendations from present research 107

CONCLUSION

7.1 Limitations of the current research 112

7.2 Recommendations and suggestions for future research 113

REFERENCE LIST 1 15

APPENDICES

Interview guide
Interviews (Bound separately)
 ABSTRACT

The alarming increase of single parent families in South Africa is distressing. The
rising divorce rate and the crisis surrounding divorce was the motivation for the
researcher to undertake this study. Many children in South Africa are
disadvantaged by the high divorce rate and much documented evidence proves the
extensive sociological and psychological effects which this has on these children.

Research has shown over and again that divorce is observed from a child's
perspective as being stressful. (Wallerstein & Kelly, 1974) It has also been shown
that many children are adversely affected by divorce. However the extent to which
they are affected depends on various elements, such as age of the child, time
since divorce, sex of the child and developmental stage of the child, to mention
but a few.

The goals of this study were formulated in a response to the need for the
eventual development of a support program for adolescent girls experiencing the
divorce of their parents. The aim of this study was to select a sample of
adolescent girls and interview them by means of a semi-structured interview in
order to hear their experiences of their parents' divorces. Research has shown that
boys from divorced families are affected differently to girls from divorced families
and hence the researcher chose to interview only females so as to exclude any
extraneous variables. (Wallerstein & Blakeslee, 1989)

The reason for choosing the stage of adolescence in particular is due to the fact
that it represents a critical period in the establishment of the self-concept, due to
all the changes that accompany adolescence. Adolescence is complicated if it is
experienced without the security and care of a stable family structure and the
support of both parents. The emotional stability of the single parent and their
dealing with single parenthood influences the adolescent and his or her self-concept
to a large extent.

This study was undertaken within the framework of a qualitative study and
qualitative methods of data collection were applied. The research design integrated
exploratory, descriptive and evaluative methods. The phenomenon of divorce with
specific reference to the effects it has on adolescents and aspects pertaining to the
phenomena of coping with parental divorce, were identified and discussed.
 11

OPSOMMING

Die kommerwekkende toename van enkel ouer gesinne in Suid Afrika is

ontstellend. Die stygende egskeiding syfer en die krisis wat met egskeiding verband
hou, was die motivering vir hierdie navorser om die betrokke studie te onderneem.
'n Groot getal kinders in Suid Afrika word benadeel deur die hoe egskeiding
syfer. Baie gedokumenteerde navorsing bewys die verrykende sosiologiese en
sielkundige gevolge wat hierdie situasies op die betrokke kinders het.

Navorsing het herhaalde kere getoon dat egskeiding, soos waargeneem uit 'n kind
se perspektief, spanningsvol is. (Wallerstein & Kelly, 1974) Daar is ook in sekere
studies wat onderneem is, getoon dat 'n groot getal kinders nadelig beinvloed
word deur egskeiding. Die mate waartoe kinders beinvloed word, is afhanklik van
'n verskeidenheid van faktore, insluitende die ouderdom van die kind, tyd wat
verloop het sedert die egskeiding, geslag van die kind, ontwikkeling stadium van
die kind, ensomeer.

Die doelstellings van hierdie studie is geformuleer as 'n respons tot die behoefte
vir die uiteindelike ontwikkeling van 'n ondersteuningsprogram vir adolessente-
meisies se ervaring van hul ouers se egskeiding. Onderhoude is met 'n steekproef
van adolessentemeisies gevoer, met die oog daarop om hul ervarings in terme van
hulle ouers se egskeidings te dokumenteer. Die navorser het die keuse van om
adolessentemeisies as proefpersone te gebruik gemaak vir praktiese doeleindes, in
die lig van die feit dat hierdie studie 'n loodsstudie is. Navorsing het ook getoon
dat seuns van geskeide gesinne op ander maniere deur hulle ervarings geraak word
as meisies van geskeide gesinne. Die keuse om slegs onderhoude met meisies te
voer, sien ook die doel om 'n bepaalde tussenveranderlike geslag te vermy.
(Wallerstein & Blakeslee, 1989)

Die rede vir die keuse van adolesensie het te make met die feit dat dit 'n kritiese
periode in die vestiging van die self konsep verteenwoordig, as gevolg van, al die
veranderinge wat met adolessensie gepaard gaan. Pogings om die self te vind,
sowel as die vestiging van 'n eie identiteit, tipeer hierdie lewensfase. Hierdie
lewensfase word gekompliseerd as dit ervaar word in die afwesigheid van sekuriteit
en 'n stabiele gesinstruktuur, sowel as die ondersteunig van beide ouers. Die
emosionele stabiliteit van die enkelouer, die enkelouer se hantering van
enkelouerskap beinvloed die adolessent en sy of haar selfkonsep tot 'n groot mate.

Hierdie navorsing is onderneem binne die raamwerk van 'n kwalitatiewe studie.
Kwalitatiewe metodes van data inwinning is toegepas. Die navorsingsontwerp
integreer ondersoekende, beskrywende en kwalitatiewe metodes. Die verskynse van
egskeiding, met spesifieke verwysing na die effek wat navorsing op adolessente
het, sowel as die aspekte wat betrekking het op die verskynsel van die hantering
van ouers se egskeiding is geidentifiseer en bespreek.
 CHAPTER ONE
GENERAL INTRODUCTION
1.1 Introduction

This study focuses on the effects of parental divorce on adolescent girls living in
South Africa.

1.2 Divorce statistics in South Africa

In South Africa it has become quite acceptable that more than one in every three
marriages ends in divorce. (van Wyk & la Cock, 1988) One is faced daily with
people who have experienced or been through their own divorce. Statistical data
obtained by the Centre for Statistical Services and which verify the latest divorce
data are as follows:

Total number of divorces:

1992 1993 1994 1995

28264 26616 29878 31592

The numbers above show that each year, with the exception of 1993, the total
number of divorces has increased considerably. Further data which is useful to
look at includes the number of children who are affected by the large number of
divorces which occur each year.

Total number of children who experienced parental divorce in 1994:

Black Coloured Indian White Total

6352 8576 2667 20772 = 38367

These figures suggest that every year a very large number of children from
different backgrounds are experiencing parental divorce and some of the detrimental
effects which it causes. It is clear that divorce is a social phenomena occurring
cross-culturally. It affects both adults and children, and the severity of the effects
vary according to the divorce situation, the persons affected, the age of the
individuals etc.

The above results are the results from the legal marriages and divorces which
have been officiated in court. They do not reflect the break up of family units
which occur when parents simply separate and do not proceed with the divorce,
nor do they represent traditional marriages which do not get officiated by the
court. It thus suggests that the number of children living in single parent homes
 2

due to divorce or one of the above mentioned phenomena is far greater than has
been documented.

The population which the researcher has chosen to study includes adolescent girls
from different cultures and selected from different schools around Gauteng. One
may hypothesise that an adolescent who is experiencing a parental divorce may
show signs of problems at school, possible withdrawal, depression, regression to
earlier developmental stages, to mention but a few.

Divorce does, almost without fail, have detrimental effects on parents, for example
amongst adults, the effects of divorce may vary from a decrease in health such as
disturbed sleeping patterns, tearfulness and impaired concentration, to low self
esteem, ineffective decision-making, ineffective communication and a negative
attitude towards life. Hence it is clear that such reactions by a parent can and
often do have serious repercussions on their parenting of their children and the
children in turn are affected by the changes. In light of this, it is clear that the
topic of divorce and the effects of divorce on children, needs much focus and
attention.

1.3 Reason for choice of topic

With the current divorce rate in South Africa being amongst the highest in the
world, the researcher feels that this has been a very neglected area in terms of
research. In the past, the topic of divorce was investigated readily but recently
with such topics as AIDS and Post Traumatic Stress, it seems to have fallen
somewhat by the wayside.

The reason that the topic of divorce interests the researcher has to do with the
fact that she too grew up in a single parent family. There is a difference,
however, in that it was not due to divorce but rather to the death of her father.
It came as a big shock, very suddenly, exactly as divorce comes to some children.
His death resulted in the researcher having to grow up with a single mother who
had been left at the age of 33 with two young children, no university education
and few marketable skills. The researcher relates very strongly to Wallerstein, who
also lost her father at a young age, when she states in her research:

My lifelong professional interest in helping children, especially those

suffering loss and separation has its roots in my own continued mourning
for my father and in my compassion for my mother's gallant struggles
to protect my younger brother and me from economic and personal
hardships that she faced daily. (Wallerstein & Blakeslee, 1990, p.xii)

Growing up in a single parent family prompted the researcher to note that many
of her peers were also growing up with single mothers and that these
circumstances were more often caused by parental divorce than through the death
 3

of either parent. It appeared that many of these individuals were experiencing

similar feelings regardless of whether they came from homes broken by divorce or
homes shattered through death. It struck the researcher, however, that many
people did not show the children from divorced homes the same concern and
support as was shown to children such as herself.

One feels strongly that children coping with the death of a parent are often given
much more attention and recognition for what they are feeling and experiencing,
whereas children of divorced parents who experience much of the same hurt and
pain often receive very little help, understanding and support. In confronting this
research, it is hoped that an even greater understanding and insight is gained
about divorce and its detrimental effects. Much of the present research that is
available in South Africa, has been conducted largely in the international arena and
the researcher is interested in studying divorce and its effects in the South African
context so as to contribute to the limited body of knowledge and literature that
exists in our country.

There is widespread recognition that divorce represents one of the major causes of
stress in modern social experience. There is, however, a large gap in our
knowledge about the child's view of divorce in South Africa. The focus in many
studies has been mainly on adults' experiences of divorce. For this reason the focus
of the present research is the adolescent's view of the effects that parental divorce
has on them.

Aims and Objectives

The specific objectives of this study are as follows:

* To examine the perceptions of adolescents from divorced

parents with regard to:
the implications of the divorce for their life situation
their preparedness for divorce and its consequences
informal/ formal support systems available to and used by
them during and after the divorce
the effects of divorce on their school performance
the effects of divorce on the adolescents' relationships
with their parents, their siblings, extended family
members, their teachers and their peers.

1.4 Research methodology

1.4.1 Quantitative and qualitative research

Mouton and Marais (1989) describe quantitative research as a formalized and explicitly
controlled approach, while they describe qualitative research as less formalized and
 4

controlled. Quantitative methods include structured questionnaires and standardized

scales whereas qualitative methods mainly make use of participant observation,
unstructured interviews and literature studies. The researcher has chosen to use
qualitative methods in this particular study.

Qualitative research may be described as "an approach in which the procedures are
not strictly formalized, as in quantitative research while the scope is more likely to
be undefined, and a more philosophical mode of operation is adopted." (Mouton &
Marais, 1993, p. 156)

Mouton and Marais (1993) believe there are three essential elements to any
research, be it qualitative or quantitative. These three elements include: concepts,
hypotheses and observation. In a qualitative study such as this, concepts may be
interpreted in a number of ways as opposed to in a quantitative study, where no
unambiguous meaning is given. In terms of hypotheses, these are frequently
undeclared or stated in the form of a general research goal in a qualitative study
and can often not be rejected. In a quantitative study, however, hypotheses are
stated explicitly and can be rejected.

Observations in a qualitative study are subjectifying and personally experienced. The

researcher is involved with events and phenomena and it occurs in a non-
structured manner. There is opportunity to record unexpected events which occur
and context is taken into account.

1.5 Clarification of concepts

For the sake of clarity, the definitions of a number of concepts that will be used
readily throughout the study will be presented.

Divorce: Dissolution of the marital relationship by a court of law (Barnard,

Cronje, & Olivier, 1988, p.272). Callahan (in van Staden, 1987) describes divorce
slightly differently. He states it is "an emotional crisis triggered by a sudden and
unexpected loss that forces you to look at yourself and to analyse where you are
and how you got there." (p. 12)

For the purposes of this research, divorce is regarded as a process which spans
the duration from the time of separation through to the period after the legal
divorce.

Divorced family: A family which has undergone a split as a result of the parents'
divorce

Support system - Social and emotional support provided at the time of disruption
 5

Children of divorce - For purposes of this study, this definition includes both
children whose parents are divorced as well as children whose parents have
separated.

Separation - "Go different ways, disperse; cease to live

together as married couple" (The Concise Oxford Dictionary, 1976)

Marriage - "Common parlance tends to miss the point that marriage is an

institution, a set of social norms. In all cases it sanctions, according to local
customs, a union between two persons and, at least theoretically binds them to a
system of obligatory behaviors for the purpose of maintaining a family unit."
(Reber, 1985, p.418)

Adolescence - "The period of development marked at the beginning by the onset

of puberty and at the end by the attainment of physiological or psychological
maturity. It should be noted that the term is much less precise than it appears
since both the onset of puberty and the attainment of maturity are effectively
impossible to define or specify." (Reber, 1985, p.13)

Crisis - "From the Greek word for turning poinl, any inflection point in the
course of events. Strictly speaking, a crisis can be either a sudden improvement in
things or a sudden deterioration; any sudden interruption in the normal course of
events in the life of an individual or a society that necessitates re-evaluation of
modes of action and thought. This general sense of loss of the normal foundations
of day-to-day activity is the dominant connotation of the term." (Reber, 1985,
p.166)
 CHAPTER TWO
DIVORCE
2.1 Introduction

"A major marital status phenomenon is not marriage but a continuing upward
trend in divorce. Out of this rising divorce rate comes still another phenomenon
the single parent household." (Berner, 1992, p.2)

The following chapter focuses on the phenomenon of divorce and the various
effects it has on those involved. Divorce is said to be deceptive as it is legally a
single event and yet psychologically it can be seen as a never ending chain of
events, relocations and radically changing relationships.

Wallerstein & Blakeslee (1990) claim that people divorce for many reasons. They
may be eager to escape a relationship that has become intolerable, demanding or
stressful. At least one of the partners may think that almost any option would be
preferable to feeling trapped. They conclude that many couples decide that the only
solution to their unhappiness is divorce. Whatever the reasons behind the decision,
most people ending a marriage hope to improve the quality of life for themselves
and for their children. People want to believe that divorce will relieve all their
stresses - but divorce does not wipe the slate clean. Wallerstein and Blakeslee
continue that "divorce can be a profound catalyst for psychological, social and
economic change, but it can also be a stumbling block against such change or the
beginning of psychological, social and economic deterioration." (Wallerstein &
Blakeslee, 1990, p.3)

2.2 The phenomenon of divorce

People consider divorce for many reasons: - they may be keen to end an
intolerable, stressful or demeaning relationship or one of the partners may be
feeling trapped and believe the only solution is divorce. Callahan (in Van Staden,
1987) describes divorce as:

An emotional crisis triggered by a sudden and unexpected loss...(it) forces

you to look at yourself and to analyse where you were and how you got
there. The crisis puts you in a position from which you cannot return to
what you used to be. (p.12)

Those experiencing divorce are often dismayed and surprised by their own
behaviour as their sense of control and self consistency is lost. They may feel
irrational and frequently are labeled by others as irrational.
 7

2.3 Divorce in South Africa

South Africa has become known as one of the countries with the highest divorce
rates in the world and it is accepted that more than one in every three marriages
in South Africa end in the Supreme Court. According to the latest available data
obtained from the Department of Statistics in 1996, during 1994, 29878 divorces
took place and as a result 38367 children experienced the trauma of parental
divorce. The afore mentioned data (in Chapter 1) shows that the total number of
divorces in 1992 was 28264, by 1994 it had risen to 29878 and in 1995 the
estimated number of divorces was 31592. Thus over the past four years the
divorce rate has increased in number each year and one could speculate that it will
continue to do so in the future. In the light of this, the researcher believes that
divorce is a very important area of research and one which should gain much
more attention in order to gain further insight which will help in developing
programmes to help people who are experiencing the effects of divorce.

2.4 Stages of Divorce

According to Wallerstein and Blakeslee (1989) there are a number of stages of

divorce:

First stage This is also known as the acute stage and it occurs when the
marriage begins to fail and there is a growing feeling of unhappiness in one or
both partners. They eventually decide to divorce and generally one parent leaves
the home. Within the family, feelings of anger, depression and disorganisation often
exist. In Wallerstein and Blakeslee's (1989) study they found that at this stage,
over half the children witnessed physical violence between parents. Before this
stage approximately 75% of children had never seen any physical violence at home.

Second stage The second stage or transitional stage is a period of time where
both adults and children are forced into unfamiliar roles and a new family structure
must develop. According to Wallerstein & Blakeslee (1989), it is often a very
confusing time, consisting of both progression and regression. It is a time when
children may move home and move schools, both of which can be very disruptive.
Life is unstable and unsettled.

Third stage This is the beginning of a more positive stage which comes with
a renewed sense of stability as things start to settle down. The divorced family
hopefully develops into a new and functional unit. Relationships settle down and
visiting and support patterns are established.
 8

2.5 The divorced family

Wallerstein & Blakeslee (1989) believe that divorce is deceptive. They maintain that
legally it is a single event and yet psychologically, divorce is a chain of events, in
some cases a never ending chain - which often consists of relocations, changes in
relationships and in essence a process that forever changes the lives of the people
involved.

Cigler (in Braude & Francisco-La Grange, 1986) maintains that each family forms its
own system with members acting and reacting to each other in order to maintain
the wholeness of the system. Divorce is viewed as a phenomenon which is
brought about by factors and conditions in society and which in turn brings its
own further changes to impact on society. Divorce is not the death of a family
but rather, the creation of an alternative family form.

2.6 The effects of divorce on the divorcing couple

Divorce is a crisis phenomena which is on the increase and which has numerous
effects on all parties involved. The complex ramifications of this major crisis
pervade an individual's life regardless of whether this change was desired or not.

Walker (1994) claims that "divorce can, however, also provide opportunity for
personal growth in spite of the pain and confusion. The degree and severity of
the effects of divorce depends on how an individual perceives the crisis and
whether he has adequate coping skills to deal with the crisis. It is important to
look at certain effects carefully in the light of the divorcing couple functioning
adequately as a parent." (p.28) Some of these effects are discussed below.

2.6.1 Health

The prevalence of divorce assumes particular importance when viewed in the

context of its association with numerous health related problems. Chiriboga and
Catron (1987) state that amongst couple who separate and divorce there is a
higher rate of suicide, mortality, morbidity, alcoholism, hypertension and a wide
range of other health related problems.

Other literature points to such symptoms as: poor concentration, fatigue, disturbed
sleep patterns, disturbed eating patterns, psychosomatic illness, decreased libido,
tearfulness, depression, anxiety and tension. (Wallerstein & Blakeslee, 1989)

It is thus clear that divorce certainly has a large impact on the individual's health.
However, as the individual begins to feel more in control of their situation and
their coping abilities are enhanced, the above mentioned effects often begin to
diminish.
 9

2.6.2 Self-esteem

"Self-esteem refers to unconditional respect for and acceptance of oneself as a

whole individual while still recognizing flaws and short comings." (Walker, 1994,
p.30) Carson, Butcher and Coleman (1988) believe good self-esteem is a feeling of
personal worth. They state that many individuals who do not seek individual help
in the form of therapy and who lack coping skills often have a diminished self-
esteem, lack confidence and tend to focus much of their attention on their
inadequacies and shortcomings.

Walker (1994) claims that divorce may effect some individual's self-esteem in the
same way that bereavement does. The stages of divorce may be compared to
Kubler -Ross's stages of death. The last stage, that is, acceptance is one when the
individual once again begins to feel good about him or herself. Whether one
accepts the reality of divorce is highly relevant to self-esteem - once one accepts
the divorce as reality, one is able to begin the reworking of identity and start
taking responsibility for one's own well-being.

2.6.3 Support networks

Van Wyk & La Cock (1988) believe that everyone needs a support system
consisting of people on whom they can depend, to whom they can talk and who
understand them.

The primary support in every married person's life should be his or her spouse
and yet it is in a sense ironic that at a time of such distress, such as when a
couple divorce, these partners can not be each other's support. During these times,
relatives and friends become important support systems. Mutual friends are likely
to be exposed to anger and may feel they need to take sides. This places stress
on the friendships and could mean losing valuable friends and support systems.

It is clear that in many cases divorcing couples are often left with very few
support systems at a time during which they truly need them. This loss of support
networks often leads to feelings of loneliness and further decrease in one's self-
esteem.

2.6.4 Parenting

In Wallerstein's (1991) extensive research on the effects of divorce she states that:

Divorce has a direct and specific impact on the adult's capacity to parent.
At the simplest level, diminished parenting signifies the decreased
availability of the parent to the child, a sharp decline in emotional sensitivity
and emotional support for the child, decreased pleasure in the
 10

relationship, decreased attentiveness to the child's needs and wishes, less

talk, less play and less interaction altogether. Many parents remain
profoundly troubled or continue to be disinterested in their children. Thus
many children become burdened beyond the immediate impact of the marital
rupture by a chain of divorce-related changes and losses in their daily lives.
(p.117)

During a divorce many parents are often either emotionally unavailable or

emotionally unable to provide the support and guidance necessary for children to
begin to adapt to their changing environment. Hetherington (in Forehand, Thomas,
Wierson, Brody, & Fauber, 1990) discovered that divorced parents make fewer
maturity commands, showed less affection, gave more overall commands,
communicated less effectively with their children and disciplined less effectively than
happily married, `intact' families. Wallerstein & Blakeslee (1989) also found that
divorced parents spend less time with their children and are less sensitive to
children's needs.

In this regard, Walker (1994) states that "often during the crisis of divorce
parents may in a sense put their `parenting' on hold while they attend to what
they feel are possibly more important issues at the time."(p.34) Many researchers
believe that divorce can initiate a massive regression that pitches the adult
backwards into adolescence. According to Walker (1994) the average time required
by women to reestablish a sense of continuity in their lives is 3 - 3,5 years and for
men, 2 - 2,5 years.

Van Wyk and la Cock (1988) believe that the psychological well-being of children
is directly linked to the stability of the relationship between the important adults in
their lives, that is, the family relationships. If parents separate, psychological
repercussion for the children will be far reaching. They believe that when parents
divorce, the secure structure of the family is destroyed and a new structure has to
be created. Divorce is always accompanied by and followed by a period of
uncertainty, insecurity and disorientation for all members of the family.

Of great importance is that parents need to maintain effective relationships with

one another regarding parenting and that parents always act in the best interests
of the children. Parents need to make children aware that they are both always
available to their children. Despite the fact that during the initial stages of divorce,
parents may find it difficult to provide their children with adequate parenting.
Research shows that with time this improves and parents are able to learn and
adopt new parenting skills.

2.6.4.1 Role reversal

Secunda (1993) believes that:

 11

Divorcees often regress emotionally, becoming in a sense their children's

peers; frantically dating, desperately lonely, horribly insecure about the
future. And their children may be denied the most routine parental attention.
Absence of father may push mother into a suffocating dependence on her
children, especially her daughter. (p.199)

Like Secunda, Wallerstein (in Johnston, 1990) claims that what often happens when
the parental alliance breaks down is that some children assume parental or spousal
duties. They may take on the role of confidant, peer or mentor to a distressed
parent, as well as "parent" to their siblings. This is often referred to as role
reversal. The extent to which the child reverses roles with a parent and becomes
enmeshed in a parents distress and anger will depend on a number of child
characteristics, such as age, gender, etc.

Some children may become resentful and angry that their own needs are being
ignored, but at the same time they might feel compelled to continue in their
nurturing role in case they are rejected or abandoned by the remaining parent in the
house. These ambivalent feelings may in some cases result in anxiety and withdrawal in
children.

2.6.4.2 Parentification

Children of divorce may also become "parentified". Hetherington (in Secunda,

1993), found that almost all of the "caring-competent" children of divorce were
girls. She claims that a "key ingredient in the sensitivity and relative emotional
sturdiness of these daughters was that they were called upon at an early
age to care for others — either their siblings, or their alcoholic or depressed or
lonely mothers, or a frail grand-parent." (p.267)

Some researchers believe that parentification is not true "role reversal" and that
these new roles are often unfamiliar. The type of children who end up playing these
roles are often those who naturally feel a great deal of empathy. They pity adults
around them and are frightened about losing their parents. "Feeling vulnerable, they
tend to yield to their parent's wishes and threats. Their sensitivity becomes their
undoing; as they assume multiple roles to support the parents' neurotic needs."
(Wallerstein, in Secunda, 1993, p.267)

2.7 Children and divorce

"For children of divorce growing up is- unquestionably harder every step of the
way, although many emerge as compassionate adults, concerned about their parents
and eager for an enduring relationship." (Wallerstein & Blakeslee, 1990, p.x)

Mnay individuals believe that children should have a mother and a father.
Rowlands (1980) claims that when either parent is not present, the early experience
 12

of what an adult is like and how a close relative behaves is reduced by fifty
percent. In the early 1970's people knew relatively little about how to handle
divorce and it was only when children started showing more severe reactions to
parental divorce that people began to recognise it as a traumatic event.

After long-term observation of symptoms that exist in children after parental

divorce, Wallerstein and Blakeslee (1989) conclude that the effects of parental
divorce often last for up to 2 - 3 years. They believe that children's fundamental
attitudes about society and themselves can be forever changed by divorce and that
these changes may be incorporated permanently into their personality and
developing characteristics.

Children often believe their parents are to blame at failing one of the important
parts of life, that is, maintaining their marriage and family "for richer, for poorer,
for better or for worse". For many children, the divorce of their parents never
goes away. Even when it provides a positive solution to a destructive family
situation, divorce remains a critical experience for children.

2.7.1 Divorce as a disruption

The Committee on the Family Group for Advancement of Psychiatry (1980) claims
that:
A separation is an event that wounds the child's psyche as well as an
event in a whole changing social web of which the child is part and
therefore consequences due to death of a parent are often more benign as
opposed to consequences of divorce - presumably because the child has the
support of other bereaved people in the family who can help them in their
loss. Divorce often leads to no conciliation of the loss. It may lead to
nothing but fighting between the two parents. (p.68)

Lauer & Lauer (1991) believe that there are both short and long term
consequences of family disruption. In the short term, they claim that children are
likely to suffer a variety of physical and emotional problems when their parents
divorce. The initial reactions may include intense anger, fears about the future, and
even loyalty conflicts if the child is pressured to take sides in the parental conflict.
Lauer and Lauer (1991) have found that when compared to those from intact families,
children from divorced families are more likely to be depressed and withdrawn; to
have lower physical health ratings, as assessed by their parents; to rate themselves
lower in social competence; be more likely to use drugs; and to engage in early
sexual activities.

Children from divorced families also tend to have problems of various kinds at
school. Research shows that when compared to those from intact families, they
have lower academic self-concepts; more absences; lower popularity ratings; lower
 13

IQ, reading, spelling and mathematic scores; and a great number of behavioral
problems (Guidubaldi, Perry & Nastasi, 1987).

It has also been shown in much research that children from disrupted homes tend
to attain less education, marry at an earlier age, and have less stable marriages
than those from intact families (Keith, & Finlay, 1988). Adult children from
divorced families are likely to be depressed when they perceive their non-custodial
parent as lost to them (Drill, 1986). Adults from disrupted homes report
themselves as being less happy and are twice as likely as those from intact
families to see a mental health professional. Black & Pedro-Carroll (1993) state that
"children of divorce are more likely to divorce themselves" (Mueller & Pope,
1977). McLanahan & Bumpass (1988) found that "daughters of' divorced parents
were more likely to marry and have children early, more likely to give birth
before marriage, and more likely to divorce" (p.1019).

It has been shown that many children who have experienced parental divorce
spend little time with their fathers. Data from the National Survey of Children in
America shows that, five years after the divorce, nearly half of all children have
not seen their fathers in the first year after their parents' divorce and only 16%
have had frequent contact, that is once a week. (Furstenberg et al, 1983, in Black
& Pedro-Carroll, 1993)

Wallerstein (1991) concludes that many children of divorce:

...suffer intense anger, feel trapped by the parental dependence on them and
see little possibility that their own needs or wishes will be gratified. They
suffer throughout childhood and adolescence with intense conflicting pulls
between their genuine and often very moving compassion for their parents
and their anger and guilt-ridden wish to escape. These individuals lack trust
in the adult world. They feel separate and apart from their peers, different
from those they consider more fortunate and envious of what they see as
the carefree play and freedom of their age-mates. (p.116)

Divorce in many cases may be more difficult for children than adults owing to the
fact that children lose a fundamental part of their development - the family
structure. According to Wallerstein and Blakeslee (1990):

The family provide the scaffolding upon which children mount successive
developmental stages, from infancy to adolescence. It supports their
psychological, physical and emotional ascent into maturity. When the
structure collapses, the children's world is temporarily without support.
(p.12)
 14

2.7.2 Some earlier studies conducted on children and divorce

One of the most comprehensive studies to date was one started in 1970 in the
United States by Wallerstein and Kelly (1975, 1976, 1980). Their research focused
on sixty families, including 131 children ranging from 1 - 22 years of age. Most
of the children who partook in the study lived with their mother. Wallerstein &
Kelly interviewed parents and children at the time of the divorce, again eighteen
months later, five years later, ten years later and at present are apparently still
conducting interviews with certain individuals fifteen years after the separation. In
a divorce-specific assessment of children, Wallerstein and Kelly (1980) focused on
three main areas:

The child's unique response to and experience with his

parents separation and divorce
Continuity and change in parent-child relationships
The network of support systems outside the home available
to the child.

Like Wallerstein and Kelly, various other researchers have also studied the
experience of parental divorce in childhood and they believe that it is associated
with:
reductions in women's psychological well-being (Glenn & Kramer, 1985,
in Black & Pedro-Carroll, 1993);
inhibitions toward divorce as a solution for marital difficulties (Greenburg
& Nay, 1982, in Black & Pedro-Carroll, 1993);
the ability to develop and maintain supportive friendships and dating
relationships. (Slater & Calhoun, 1988, in Black & Pedro-Carroll, 1993).

Divorce is the closest thing to the death of a parent that a child can experience .

Unlike death, however, it involves a certain amount of choice. And no matter how
patiently parents explain to children that they are loved by both of them, no
matter how much they try to reassure them that one parent is not leaving them -
on some level many children can not help believing that one parent chose to leave
them too.

It is important, however, to make parents aware that marital disruption does not
necessarily lead to negative outcomes in children. Special attention must be paid to
the parent-child relationship during the time prior to, during and after the divorce.
Psychotherapy has been shown to benefit families, couples or simply children in
trying to work through the effects of parental separation and divorce.
 15

2.7.3 Some positive aspects of divorce

Many people believe that growing up with both parents is vital for a child to
become fully self-actualised and independent. Some believe that two parents can do a
better job in rearing children than one parent. This may well be true, but Barber
and Eccles (1992) feel that the negative consequences of growing up in a
conflictual family may be averted when parents separate.

There may be some advantages to the socialisation experienced by children growing

up with single mothers. According to Barber and Eccles (1992), "...children in
single-parent female-headed households may develop a greater sense of personal
responsibility and self-esteem than children in two-parent households, and girls and
boys may develop less gender-role stereotyped occupational aspirations and family
values, which could lead to their increased success in the labour market." (p.122)

Demo and Acock (1988), maintain that adolescents in single parent families tend to
be more mature and to have a greater sense of their own efficacy than do those
in two-parent families. In this regard Berner (1992) claims that "growth to maturity
can be stunted by divorce but it can also result in children maturing more
quickly." According to Wallerstein and Kelly (in Berner, 1992), some youngsters
increased in maturity and independence through their need to take greater
responsibility, not only for themselves but also at times for their siblings and/or
troubled parents.

This suggests therefore that divorce is not necessarily detrimental to all children
and in some cases where interparental conflict occurs frequently, separation can
often be more beneficial for a child than staying in the conflictual family.

2.8 Conclusion

There is a wide range of outcomes in children of divorce. Whereas some children

seem to recover to their normal developmental stage for their age group, for
others development is accelerated and for others still it may be stunted for some
period of time. Johnston & Campbell (1988) maintain that some children become
more resilient and develop considerable interpersonal competence while others
appear to have more problematic, defensive modes of response that become
incorporated into characteristic coping behaviours. They conclude that a significant
proportion, however, "become enmeshed in the parental conflict, remain emotionally
distressed and manifest stress symptoms and behavior problems." (Johnston &
Campbell, 1988, in Johnston, 1990, p.405)

Most authors agree that the impact of divorce upon children depends on several
factors. (Oakland, 1984; Morgan, 1985, in Braude and Francisco-La Grange,
1993). These factors include: age; gender of the child; when the divorce actually
 16

occurs; maturity of the child; personality of the child; financial situation of the
parents, etc. The current study endeavors to challenge the universality of the given
literature in this literature review, with particular reference being given to
individuals living in South Africa.

In the following chapter, the reseacher explores the developmental stage of

adolescence and the phenomenon of divorce in terms of the effects it has on the
adolescent specifically.
 CHAPTER THREE
THE EFFECTS OF DIVORCE ON ADOLESCENTS

3.1 Adolescence

"Adolescence is a period of energy alternating with lethargy; exaltation with

expressive gloom; childish selfishness with altruistic selflessness; conceit with
humility; tenderness with cruelty; curiosity with apathy." (Conger, 1991, p.10)

Adolescence is a difficult period as it is fraught with gross change. The adolescent

changes physically, cognitively, sexually and psychologically. Socially, the adolescent
often feels pulled between his or her parents' home environment and the world of
his or her peers. It has been described as a "time of stress, turmoil, transition and
questioning". (Long, Forehand, Fauber & Brody, 1987, p.15) and for the
adolescent it is often one of the most difficult developmental stages of life where
the individual experiences highs and lows of emotion. The ability to express
emotions and articulate feelings of lowered mood is tied to cognitive maturity,
which is in the process of occurring at this stage of development. Maturational
stresses are unique during this period and according to Long et al. (1987) the
adolescent finds it difficult to describe the pain he is feeling. Graham (1986),
however, feels that adolescents do acknowledge the distress they feel by describing
it as "a sense of emptiness and absence of feelings". Many adolescents have
difficulty understanding themselves on a cognitive level and in expressing their
emotions. In Western societies, the developmental tasks of the adolescent include
gaining a sense of independence, acquiring a self-identity and an ability to integrate
into society.

Adolescence is characterised by the biological rise in sexual and aggressive

impulses. Adolescents are often afraid of being overwhelmed. They often feel
vulnerable and need a strong family structure and a clear belief system. They need
rules, agreed upon curfews and an understanding that parents care about their
children and that children, in turn, are expected to care about others, including
their parents.

In this respect, Wallerstein and Blakeslee (1990) claim that :

Parenting is never more needed, nor more challenged than with adolescents.
As youngsters deal with the impulses of increasing sexual maturity, they
need to know that the world has stability, that there is right and wrong,
give and take. Moreover, it is critically important for adolescents to have a
home that is a safe haven when the world gets too competitive, too hurtful
or too frightening. (p.171)
 18

Adolescent rebellion is one of the terrors of life for parents, but it is a stage that
serves an important purpose for children. Wallerstein & Blakeslee (1990) claim that
it is the rebellion that permits them to loosen ties with parents and to move
outward and to begin to use aggression constructively on their own behalf.

In the divorced family, adolescence is psychologically and socially a different

experience. While most teenagers are rebelling against their parents, the children of
divorced families may hold back. Wallerstein and Blakeslee (1990) explain this
phenomenon in the following way:

The secure haven needed in adolescence is not available for many children
of divorce. The healthy aggression that adolescents will need to enter a
competitive world, to aim high in life, is inhibited because of love and hate
toward the rejecting parent. This inhibition of anger and healthy aggression
is one of the serious long-term effects of divorce. Some young people
overcome it...some never do. (Wallerstein & Blakeslee, 1990, p.152)

3.1.1 Developmental stages in adolescence.

According to Bashir (in Beumont, & Hamshire, 1989), there are three stages of
adolescence during which the adolescent changes from a child to adult by
performing certain developmental tasks:

The separation-individuation stage is the stage during which the adolescent

changes from a child to an adult. Erikson refers to this as the stage of
"identity vs. self diffusion" - a period of ego synthesis, a time when one
becomes conscious of the concept of fidelity, a time for "psychosocial
reciprocity" or consistency between the way the developing adolescent sees
himself and the way others see him.

It is a stage when the individual stops relying on parents as caregivers and

decision makers and starts to think and decide for him or herself. The child
becomes aware of his or her discrete identity, separateness and individuality
apart from its mother.

Mid adolescence is the time for biological maturation and dealing with new
sexual experiences.

Late adolescence is a time when cognitive skills mature and the youth is
caught up in the search for all the abstract concepts of life and living.
 19

3.1.2 Normal Developmental Tasks of Adolescents

As children enter adolescence, they are faced with new and challenging
developmental tasks. These include changing relationships to original love objects.
There is an increasing shift to objects outside of the family, with investment in
peer relationships and relationships with parental surrogates.

Laufer (1977, in Lohr, 1988) places emphasis on the adolescent experience of his
or her own body and awareness of sexual capacities, with the main function of
adolescence being the establishment of a sexual identity. These tasks of
adolescence, while difficult for all adolescents to achieve, pose additional challenges
for adolescents who have experienced disruptions and discontinuity in ties to
parental objects.

Marcia (1980, in Barber & Eccles, 1992) adds that one of the key tasks of the
adolescent period is identity formation and consolidation. It is a time when
individuals must make commitments to certain specific goals and pathways that
will potentially have . long term implications for their future life course. It is also a
time when an adolescent's images of various future possible selves take shape and
may begin to influence occupational and family planning.It seems likely that
children who, as a result of divorce, grow up in a single-mother-headed
household, will be influenced in terms of their values for work and family. A
possible reason for this could be that in a single-mother-headed family different
parenting styles may be adopted which often lead to independence and self-esteem
differences in these children.

In her book, Adolescence, Anna Freud (1958) mentions that the difference between
normal development and psychopathology depends in part on whether the cathartic
shifts in adolescence are gradual or sudden. When gradual detachment from the
parents is allowed to take place, the defenses are less intense and do not have an
all or nothing quality. When change is sudden, the sequence of events assumes
more of a defensive and pathological quality rather that that of normal growth.
(Freud, 1958, in Lohr, 1988)

3.1.3 Biological chance during adolescence

The biological change that takes place during adolescence is by far the greatest of
all the changes in any of the stages of development. Allen-Meares (1987) believes
that this makes research difficult due to the fact that there is no clear cut
beginning and no exact turning point to mark the end of adolescence. Adolescence
is characterised by pubertal changes. Their bodies suddenly start to change. There
is generally a rapid acceleration in height and weight (growth spurt) which causes
feelings of awkwardness.
 20

The rapidity of all these changes may give these young people a feeling of being
a spectator of their own growth and development. This in turn may influence their
self esteem, interpersonal relationships and mood and could be seen as a
precipitating factor to trigger off such conditions as various eating disorders,
depression and the like. Vast hormonal changes occur during adolescence and can
cause a lowering of mood or depression at different times of the adolescent's
development.

Adolescence is a time during which boys catch up to and surpass girls in height
and weight; menarche takes place in the majority of girls which may make them
embarrassed and even more self-conscious and self-aware and during which issues
of sexuality, body image and pregnancy, male and female stereotyped roles,
popularity and identity are among the many overwhelming preoccupation's of
adolescents. Psycho-sexual development also takes place: masturbation often occurs
as a normal activity, especially amongst boys; heterosexual crushes are common and
homosexual experiences may occur, but are usually transient.

Having briefly discussed the biological changes that occur during adolescence,
another important stage, the cognitive behavioural stage will be discussed.

3.1.4 Cognitive-behavioural stage of development

During adolescence the adolescent begins to think abstractly, to formulate

hypotheses and to decipher what others mean. It is a time for introspection and
for making comparisons. They suddenly realise that the black and white world of
their childhood has a lot of grey areas, which they now have to deal with. Piaget
(in Conger, 1991) calls it "the period of formal operations."

Social learning theorists believe that if the environment does not provide the
correct reinforcers to help the adolescent in his struggle to reach adulthood then
he will develop learned helplessness. At this stage the adolescent is inclined
towards cognitive distortion, for example, drawing conclusions from insufficient
evidence, making unjustified generalisations from isolated incidents, disregarding
important aspects of life situations and exaggerating the meaning or significance of
particular events.

If the adolescent does not develop a positive self image and is unable to at this
stage express himself adequately, and if he does not have the support of significant
others then he is likely to become withdrawn and alienated, resulting in possible
feelings of helplessness, hopelessness and worthlessness. Stark, Humphrey, Crook,
& Lewis (1990) state that in cases of adolescent depression it has been noted that
these children found their families less supportive, more conflictual, placid,
disengaged from outside pleasurable activities, not involved or more enmeshed.
Children felt they were never included. When adolescents' mothers were interviewed
 21

it was found that they reported less communication with their children and often
appeared to be cold and rejecting.

Adolescence is a dramatic developmental period full of the stresses of maturing. In

western societies some of the most important developmental tasks of adolescents
include: gaining a sense of independence, acquiring a self identity, developing a
positive self image, entering the adult world, choosing a partner, choosing a
profession, dealing with sexual and physical changes etc.

3.1.5 The parent-child relationship during adolescence

The parent-child relationship is especially important at this stage of life for, in

order to get through it successfully, the adolescent needs to communicate his or
her inner-most thoughts and feelings. If they have a good relationship with their
parents, then they will help them to develop a healthy self concept. If there is a
democratic family relationship, these developmental tasks are achieved more readily.
In other words, if the parents are successful in their roles as parents and offer
support when necessary, then the adolescent develops a positive self identity and
self concept.

The family represents a home base for the adolescent stepping timidly and
guardedly into the world. If the world presents too much turmoil the adolescent
can always return to the home base to catch his breath. But a stable home base
has to be available in order for this to occur. Adolescence is a time when a child
becomes aware of his or her discrete identity, separateness and individuality apart
from his or her mother, a time for self direction and autonomy. Lack of family
support will hamper this process. The adolescent then reacts by withdrawing from
society, becoming alienated and developing a separation anxiety which can in turn
eventually result in depression.

Conflict within the family can also affect the developing child negatively. "A major
factor in adolescent depression is the feeling of being rejected. Even if this feeling
is merely perceived as such and is in fact due to the adolescent seeing his family
as not supportive, conflictual, disengaged from pleasurable activities, not evolved,
more enmeshed so that they felt they were not included, they could still develop a
feeling of helplessness and become depressed." (Stark et al., 1990, p.537)

Lefkowitz and Tesing (1984) carried out a multiple regression study based on
causal priority of rejection. Variables, for example, education and occupation, were
used to see how they influence father rejection of a daughter. The inferior
education of a father seemed to be a factor. They also found that if girls felt
they were rejected by their mothers, this correlated highly with depression ratings
of these girls by their mothers, peers and selves. They found that even parental
disharmony could create these feelings. In an article about suicide attempts by
adolescents in Johannesburg, Cummins (1984) states that "Broken home situations
 22

parental death, divorce, separation - are widely described in studies of young

suicide attempts." ( p.726 )

3.1.6 The peer group

Of great importance at this stage of a child's development is the peer group.

Female adolescents seem more vulnerable and worry more about being accepted by
their peers than their male counterparts. Part of adolescence entails becoming
independent and this means forming meaningful relationships away from the home
environment. The peer group provides a major source of security and status.
Individuals find themselves vulnerable in their social interactions during adolescence.
There are stresses emanating from family, school and peer group and these are
considered to be of particular relevance. The adolescent spends most of his time
in these three spheres of life. The expectations and demands of these three spheres
may at times convert into cross pressures and can cause anxiety and depression in
adolescents.

Adolescents are in the process of forming their separate identities and moving
outside the family circle. Younger adolescents are focused on social redefinition
and peer relations. Middle adolescence focuses on the beginning of identity
formation, while older adolescents are focused on individuation and intimacy issues.
Throughout this process adolescents are individuating and separating from the
family. Individuation includes healthy detachment from the family, while attaining
the ability to form separate intimate relationships.

Adolescents are much more involved with activities and relationships outside the
home. Parents need to understand this developmental process and accommodate
their children's needs. It is common for an adolescent who has primarily lived with
one parent to want to spend more time with the other parent. This can be a
healthy developmental change, since the adolescent is struggling with identity issues
and often needs to interact with the non-custodial parent to successfully form a
self-concept. However, it is also important to distinguish this developmentally
spurred change in custody from a change that is engendered to avoid conflict with
a custodial parent or play parents against each other so that the adolescent may
get their own way.

3.2 Adolescents and parental divorce

Few adults realise how much adolescents have to accomplish before they can
move on into young adulthood. It is tempting to think of adolescents as a
period 'to get through, to survive', but the adolescent years serve a purpose
on the developmental ladder to adulthood - to gradually detach from the
family and establish greater independence while remaining connected with the
family. Adolescence is not a total breaking away; it brings to an end the
earlier parent-child framework and engenders new relationships with peers
 23

and with parents. Divorce poses a threat to this complicated developmental

process, which is already very delicately balanced. (Black & Pedro-Carroll,
1993, p.1019)

Wallerstein (1983) claims that children's long-term adjustment to parental divorce

can be understood best as an adaptation to disequilibrium that affects developmental
processes and growth. As the divorce unfolds, the family structure unravels and
adolescents feel adrift psychologically. They are thrown prematurely into being
dependent on peers for emotional and physical support, and they are cast into
serious competition in an outside world without a home oasis.

Hetherington (in Black & Pedro-Carroll, 1993) believes that adolescents often feel
a loss of structure at a time when they need it most. Children and adolescents of
divorce tend to have less parental communication, less affection, less consistent
discipline and more negative sanctions than do children of non-divorced families.

Wallerstein and Kelly (1980) have also noted that 75-100% of in-house patients in
psychiatric institutions are children from non-intact families; a great number of
adolescent outpatient children, both boys and girls, are from divorced and remarried
families; divorce has long term effects on girls in relationships with males; and
girls from divorced families have difficulties in relationships with men, especially in
forming and maintaining long term relationships with males.

Bowlby (in Long et al., 1987) postulated that recent parental divorce per se would
be associated with adolescents experiencing a type of acute distress reaction similar
to that reported for infants upon separation from a parent. Such distress is
hypothesized to lead to negative self-perceptions and reduced feelings of
competence. They continue that adolescents living in households where parents
display high levels of conflict in their presence are said to display more behavior
problems and have lower levels of cognitive and social competence.

Many researchers believe that children from divorced families do experience a

greater number of social, academic and personal adjustment problems as opposed
to children from intact families. Substantial research has appeared which has
indicated that divorce has negative effects on adolescents (Long & Forehand,
1987). Difficulties in functioning have been noted in the following four areas:
cognitive skills (Hess & Camara, 1979)
social skills (Forehand, McCombs, Long, Brody & Fauber, 1988)
externalising problems (Hetherington, Cox & Cox, 1979)
internalising problems (Shaw & Emery, 1987)

While some data suggests problems dissipate with time (Hetherington et al, 1978)
other research suggests that there are negative effects that persist well into
adulthood. (Nock, 1988)
 24

3.2.1 Timing of parental divorce

Psychiatrists often identify the oedipal and adolescent periods as those periods in
which children are most likely to be negatively affected by divorce, but there is by
no means unanimous agreement. Gardner (1984) states that he is not convinced that
there are "particular periods during which the child is especially vulnerable to the
effects of parental separation." (p.43) Rather, he believes that from the time a child
is born, he or she needs both parents and if either parent is removed, it is likely
to have harmful effects on the child's psychological development. He believes that
the only generalisation that can be made in this regard is that the younger the
child is when the loss occurs and the longer he is exposed to the loss, the greater
will be the harmful effects.

3.3 Adolescents' reactions to parental divorce

Wallerstein & Kelly (1980) found that for most children the most acute responses
to parental separation diminished substantially within the first year after the
separation. Although this may well be true, it has been demonstrated that children of
divorced parents have a significantly higher incidence of emotional, behavioural and
educational problems. According to Wallerstein & Kelly (1980):

The most common short term reactions of children to divorce are a sense
of insecurity, a drop in scholastic performance, minor stealing behaviour,
truancy, discipline problems, rebellious behavior, mixing with a 'bad crowd'
or withdrawing socially; regressive behaviour, for example, bed wetting;
sleeping in parents bed; or attention-seeking behaviour." (p. 120)

Wallerstein & Blakeslee (1990) claim that many people are surprised at the
extreme reactions adolescents show in response to parental separation. It seems as
though much of society assumes that teenagers are told enough to understand and
accommodate to what is happening around them. "People don't realise how
frightening divorce is to young people. The collapse of the household is especially
upsetting for adolescents because they have a strong need for family structure to
help them set limits on their own sexual and aggressive impulses. Teenagers are
also terrified that they will repeat their parents failures." (Wallerstein & Kelly,
1990, p.284)

Stern Peck (in Everett, 1989) holds that:

It is a parent and not the child who leaves the nest. When the need for a
secure 'home base' is threatened, the typical adolescent reaction is anger.
They may fight with parents around such issues as sexuality, dating and
household responsibilities. Some teenagers, especially those already having
difficulties, may engage in self-destructive behavior such as truancy,
 75

substance abuse and sexual acting-out. Other problems such as suicide and
eating disorders may be precipitated by the family disruption. In short, the
risk of emotional problems and their consequences increases and yet on the
other hand, some adolescents take the opposite side and become parental
confidantes, co-parents to their siblings and household assistants. Although
they may wish to be left alone, one or both parents may seek their
companionship to fill their own loneliness. When children do fill that void,
it isolates them from peers and prevents them from moving on. (p. 92)

Common feelings experienced by early adolescents when they are told of their
parents' divorce include: confusion, moodiness, insecurity, feeling rejected, shame,
anger and withdrawal. Rowlands (1980) believes the younger adolescent also feels
a sense of loss. She continues that adolescents may often "depend on friends of
the same sex outside the home or begin to resent their puberty. In the case of
father moving out - these young adolescents typically feel a sense of loss and the
emotional response among them varies. Girls may become suspicious of and reject
the male sex." (p.38)

Amongst older adolescents, feelings such as anger, embarrassment, resentment, fear

of intimacy, worry and blaming are common. The typical reactions they show often
depends on their level of maturity. Rowlands (1980) believes that "they may take a
more realistic view if more mature but if immature may experience puberty
problems or social self-doubt if their mother leaves, and if their father leaves the
reaction often depends on the relationship with the father prior to the separation
and on how much the daughter depended on him and his response as approval of
her femininity." (p.38)

Adolescents tend to worry about their futures and may fear their own marriages
ending in divorce. Adolescents may feel rejected by their parents, who are
generally so caught up in their own problems at this time that they have little
time for their children. Wallerstein and Blakeslee (1990) aptly sum up their feelings
with regards to adolescents reactions to parental divorce and the importance of
parental support. They state:

Teenagers may also grow acutely anxious as they see the vulnerability of
their parents. The normal anxieties of adolescence are heightened. Feeling
angry at and abandoned by their parents, some teens move quickly into
sexual activity; others may respond by assuming more responsibility such as
helping out with chores and decisions. In this process they may acquire
greater strength and independence or may forfeit important aspects of their
adolescent experience. Parents' support is critical in preparing children for
the divorce and in seeing them through the turmoil surrounding it. Children
of divorce are dependent on adults help to understand what is happening in
the family, to master the new, complex relationships during the post-divorce
period, to mourn the losses associated with divorce, to master anxiety, to
 26

overcome guilt and to undertake all the psychological tasks that divorce
entails. (p.284)

3.3.1 Adolescent depression and sadness

Buchanan, Maccoby and Dornbusch (1991) found that when adolescents were asked
how often in the last month they had experienced fifteen mental and physical
symptoms typically used to measure depression, for example, feeling lonely;
frequent headaches, etc., - they found a high incidence of the following amongst
adolescents - eating problems, overtiredness, headaches, stomach aches,
nervousness, feeling depressed, feeling tense, trouble sleeping, feeling lonely and
feeling like running away.

Parkinson (1987) claims that the loss of a parent through divorce has been
compared to loss through death. The bereavement which accompanies divorce may
result in prolonged depression and "anomie" in which life seems pointless and
everyday tasks become drained of meaning. The need to mourn is better
understood and provided for in relation to death as opposed to divorce. The anger
which is an expected response in divorce may be maintained as a defense against
grief, blocking a necessary process of mourning. Incomplete mourning delays
personal adjustment and may cause difficulties in subsequent relationships.

3.3.2 Parental depression and adolescent adjustment

Parental depression, has been shown to increase following divorce. (Menaghan &
Lieberman, 1986, in Forehand & McCombs, 1989) Substantial literature indicates
that parental depression is associated with child and adolescent functioning
difficulties. (Forehand, McCombs & Brody, 1990) Thus, either interparental conflict
or parental depression may contribute to a child's functioning following divorce.
Interparental conflict may serve as a stressor for a parent such that appropriate
parenting fails to occur. Alternatively, in the case of depression, a depressive mood
may disrupt parenting, probably by increased irritability and distractibility in mildly
depressed individuals and reducing energy to parent effectively in severely
depressed individuals (Forehand & McCombs, 1989).

There is some evidence across various studies to provide tentative support for the
hypothesis that divorce may lead to poorer functioning by children and adolescents
through disrupted parenting and interparental or intraparental distress, or all of
these mechanisms. Fauber (in Forehand, et al., 1990) suggests that divorce is
associated with poorer adolescent functioning through two mechanisms, that is,
parenting skills and parental functioning. Divorce can and often does lead to
parents becoming irritable and less positive in parenting their adolescent.
Depression, which others have shown can result from divorce, can lead to a
heightened state of self focused attention. This in turn can lead to parents being
 17

less responsive to their children and therefore to poorer functioning by the

children.

Variables such as availability for and time spent with ones adolescent child,
monitoring or parental rejection may be critical. Thus parental functioning is
related to adolescent functioning, however in some cases the magnitude of
disruption in functioning is rather small during the first year after the
divorce. (Forehand, et al., 1990, p.278)

3.4 Psychological tasks of adolescence and effects of divorce

Psychological tasks that arise and which early adolescents are faced with include
the struggle between identity versus role confusion. The predominant settings in
which they mix and associate are peer groups and a favourable outcome of this
stage would be that the adolescent develops ego identity and a coherent sense of
self. The parent's responsibilities during this stage include communicating regularly
with their children as well as accepting the child's schedule and many activities. It
is both important and beneficial in the early adolescent development of ego-identity
if the child is given space to express feelings of anger, loyalty and confusion, and
if parents allow them time to maintain peer group relations.

Early teens is a particularly delicate stage of growth. Children experience rapid

physical, emotional and social changes. They are often confused, insecure and prone
to wide mood swings. Divorce is an added stress which may cause them to feel
rejected, ashamed or angry at their parents. They may even withdraw from family
and friends.

Psychological tasks of later adolescents (16-18) include dealing with issues such as
intimacy versus isolation. The predominant setting in which older adolescents spend
much of their time is with partners in friendship as well as with members of the
opposite sex. A favourable outcome of this period would include the adolescent
having made certain career goals and begin to have a sense of self in intimate
relationships.

Parents' responsibilities at a time of divorce during late adolescence include helping

the adolescent to understand their parents' divorce and to encourage them to
develop relationships with each parent. Parents also need to let go of a certain
amount of parental control. This stage of development can be made more
manageable for the adolescents concerned if they are able to control their own
schedule and are given time to resolve the sense of loss and anger that they may
feel and deal with the fear of their own future relationships.

At this age, children have usually reached a level of maturity that helps them cope
with divorce. They may, however, feel embarrassed by the divorce. Fear of
intimacy can become an issue because they are nearing adulthood and may be
concerned about their ability to maintain healthy relationships. Resentment can
 28

result from shaken expectations of how parents 'should' act versus the realities of
life. They also tend to worry about their futures.

3.5 Variables of adolescent development and divorce

Barber and Eccles (1992 ) believe that the key variables of adolescent development
include occupational and educational plans and values as well as perceived
importance of financial independence and gender-role attitudes. They feel, however,
that these areas have been paid very little attention in previous research on
divorce. They believe that it is important to look at the impact of divorce and
single-parent families on cognitive performance, delinquency, self-esteem, gender-role
development and attitudes about marriage. From the research that they conducted
the following was evident:

Cognitive performance

"Deficits in cognitive performance have been found when children in divorced

families are compared to children from intact families." (Allison & Furstenberg, in
Barber & Eccles, 1992, p.109) but the findings are actually rather mixed and
depend on a variety of factors, including gender, age, etc. Although some deficits
are found in cognitive performance following divorce, the data are far from
conclusive and the necessary longitudinal studies comparing the same children's
cognitive performance before and after their parents marital dissolution have rarely
been done.

Delinquency

"The extent to which living with a single divorced mother is predictive of

delinquent behavior has been examined extensively: children and adolescents from
divorced families are more likely to engage in deviant behavior." (Dornbusch, et
al., 1985; Zill, 1978, in Barber & Eccles, 1992, p.110) The most popular
explanation for these higher rates is decreased parental supervision in single parent
homes.

Self-esteem

"In some studies, parental divorce and father-absence has been associated with
lower self-esteem and lower feelings of competence in children and adolescence,
especially in the short-term (Brody, 1986; Parish & Wigle, 1985), but these
differences often decline overtime" (Parish & Wigle, 1988, in Barber & Eccles,
1992, p.110). Thus, as with cognitive performance, the difference in self-esteem
between children in divorced and intact families are not consistent and, when there
are differences, they tend to decrease over time.
 19

iv) Attitudes towards marriage

"It has been suggested that divorce produces more negative attitudes toward the
institution of marriage" (Glenn & Kramer, 1987, in Barber & Eccles, 1992, p. 110).
They continue that women from divorced parents consider the marital role as less
important as opposed to women from intact families. It is possible that it is not
parental marital status that contributes to the negative attitudes about marriage, but
the ongoing parental conflict that precedes the divorce and the ensuing negative
relationship between the children and parents. In summary, research indicates that
exposure to divorce may contribute to children's awareness of divorce as an
alternative that they can choose and to a reduction in the value of the marital role
relative to other domains.

Thus according to Barber & Eccles (1992) it may be said that numerous reviews
have explained assertions that "divorce has a strong negative influence on children.
However much of this is contradictory. The effect on the child depends very much
on various factors such as age, gender, length of time in single parent household,
parental conflict, etc." (p.111)

3.6 Children at risk

All children experience problems in adjusting to divorce. Most fear abandonment

or being replaced; some feel responsible and others feel very anxious about what
is going to happen. Some children are unfortunately at greater risk than others. It
is important to beware of extremes in children, for example, a long period of
depression or total absence of feelings of sadness. Key elements to look out for
include the following: when a child consistently has problems; children who are
often in pain; children who are withdrawn; when symptoms get worse rather than
better over time; when there is a sudden or dramatic change in a childs' normal
behaviour and when parents themselves feel their child can't cope.

Hetherington (in Berman, 1991) found that about one third of adolescent children
become disengaged from the family following divorce and remarriage. They become
involved in school activities and the peer group or if they are fortunate, they
attach themselves to a responsive adult or to the family of a friend. "Whether
these are desirable coping mechanisms depends on the child's family situation and
on the particular activities and type of associates with which the child becomes
involved. If they are socially constructive activities and the child's associates are
well adjusted, this move can be advantageous. Undesirable activities and an
antisocial or delinquent peer group can however have disastrous effects." (Berman,
1991, p.187)
 30

3.6.1 Short term effects of divorce

Lauer & Lauer (1991) list a number of research studies that have been undertaken
and some of the short-term effects which have been most commonly noted
amongst children trying to cope with recent parental separation. These include the
following:

Anger, fear about the future. (Bonkowski, Boomhower & Bequette, 1985;
Wallerstein & Kelly, 1976)
Diminished physical health. (Guidubaldi & Cleminshaw, 1985)
Depression and withdrawal. (Peterson & Zill, 1986)
Lower perceived social competence. (Devall, Stoneman & Brody, 1986)
Increased school problems, including absences; low popularity ratings; lower
academic self-concept; lower scores on IQ, reading, spelling and mathematic
tests; and behavioral problems. (Kinard & Reinherz, 1986; Smith, 1990)
Greater likelihood of using drugs and engaging in sexual intercourse. (Flewelling
& Bauman, 1990) (In Lauer & Lauer, 1991, p.287)

3.6.2 Long term consequences of divorce

According to much of the current research that has been conducted, the following
include some of the well-known long-term effects experienced by children in
divorced families. These include both the positive and negative effects.

— Greater likelihood of becoming androgynous in one-parent families.

(Kurdek & Siesky, 1980)
Higher levels of maturity and perceived self-efficacy in adolescents in one-parent
families. (Guidubaldi & Perry, 1985)
Less educational attainment. (Keith & Finlay, 1988)
Earlier age at marriage and less stable marriage. (Keith & Finlay, 1988)
— Negative affect, including perception of family of origin and depression.
(Amato, 1988; Drill, 1986)
Lower levels of happiness, life satisfaction and adjustment.
(Acock & Kiecolt, 1989; Glenn & Kramer, 1985; Wallerstein & Blakeslee, 1989)
Problematic intimate relationships for those from divorce-disrupted families.
(Wallerstein & Blakeslee, 1989; Booth & Edwards, 1989)

No effects

Level of self-esteem. (Amato, 1988)

Social competence. (Amato & Ochiltree, 1986; Long, Forehand, Fauber &
Brody, 1987)
Symptoms of stress. (Warren, Ilgen, Grew, Konanc & Amara, 1985)
Intimate relationships. (Greenberg & Nay, 1982; Guttman, 1989)
 32

arguments that exist between married parents. When considered in combination

with the fact that issues were discussed less often by divorced parents, adolescents
of divorced parents are exposed to a higher percentage of issues handled in a
heated manner. Thus it may be that interparental conflict in divorced families is
disruptive because it constitutes more of the interactions between divorced, than
between married parents and thus reduces the opportunity for adolescents to learn
appropriate problem-solving and interpersonal skills.

3.7.1 Triangulation of children

Triangulation refers to what many children call "being caught in the middle."
(Buchanan, Maccoby and Dornbusch, 1991) Researchers believe that "as children
grow older they are often more willing to act in ways that may make them feel
caught in the middle, for example conveying messages, parents confiding in them
regarding the other parent's alleged faults." (Buchanan et al., 1991. p.1018) It has
also been found that girls are often more concerned with maintaining harmonious
interpersonal relationships and with resolving conflict in ways that are mutually
satisfying than are boys (Gilligan, 1982; Maccoby, 1990, in Buchanan, Maccoby
Dornbusch, 1991) and it is therefore possible that they are more vulnerable to
feeling caught between parents.

The greater the animosity between the parents, the more likely it is that they will
attempt to persuade the children to take sides. Wallerstein & Kelly (1980) suggest
that creating an alliance with one or the other parent relieves the stress of loyalty
conflicts for children, implying that children who have a close relationship with one
parent will be less torn between parents. Close relationships with both parents
seems to be at the heart of the experience of loyalty conflicts.

Many of the adolescents in the Buchanan, Maccoby and Dornbusch (1991) study
reported being "caught in the middle" They found that the most powerful
predictor of feeling caught between the two parents was the co-parenting
relationship. High discord and hostility and low cooperative communication between
parents predicted more feelings of this. Another potential predictor is the amount
of time spent with each parent as well as closeness of the parent-adolescent
relationship and age and sex of the adolescent. "Adolescents who were close to
their parents were less likely to feel caught in the middle. Often parents who have
good relationships with their children are sensitive to their needs and avoid putting
their children in these positions. Feelings of being caught in the middle were also
related to higher feelings of depression/anxiety and more deviant behaviour"
(Buchanan, et al., 1991, p.1018)
 33

3.7.2 Parent-child relationships at the time of divorce

Wallerstein & Blakeslee (1990) claim that:

In a reasonably happy, intact family, the child gravitates first to the one
parent and then to the other, using a combination of skills and attributes
from each in climbing the developmental ladder. With access to both
parents, children intuitively create their own recipes for growing up based
on a rich mixture of what they value and respect. The parents complement
one another, so that when one is unavailable, the other steps in to meet
the child's needs. In a divorced family, these parental resources are greatly
diminished, relationships that are taken for granted in the intact family seem
more fragile, less permanent and less reliable. The problem for the
children of divorce is that it is so much harder to find the needed parent at
needed times. When children are in important developmental transitions and
cannot make use of the parent they need, their recipes for growing up are
missing essential ingredients. (p.233)

Much research has shown that divorce is associated with a diminished capacity to
parent in almost all dimensions - discipline, playtime, physical care and emotional
support. Braude and Francisco - La Grange (1993) claim that divorcing parents
spend less time with their children and are less sensitive to their children's needs.
At the time of divorce they may very well confuse their own needs with those of
their children.

3.7.2.1 The mother child relationship

-

Wallerstein & Blakeslee (1989) claim that the quality of the mother-child relationship
is the single most critical factor in determining how children feel about themselves
in the post divorce decade and how well they function in the various domains of
their lives. For many girls of divorce, separation is one of the most difficult
concerns. "Mothers have trouble letting go and daughters have trouble growing up
and leaving home. A major theme that emerges from this is that girls are not
given the support they need for gradually detaching from the family. In attending
to their mother's needs, they find later that they have lost their own adolescence -
an irreplaceable loss" (Wallerstein & Blakeslee, 1990, p.100).

Divorce affects the way children perceive their parents. Divorce realigns
relationships. Relationships which often change in a big way are those with the
non-custodial parent and his or her parents and family. The effect of this is
serious and lasts for a long time after the actual divorce has occurred. One
relationship that is very important, especially as concerns children's well-being, is
the one between mother and child.
 34

Mothers become a good source of support to their children. Parental affection and
love help to create an individual who is able to trust and accept others - one
who feels loved and is able . to love in return. Wallerstein & Blakeslee (1990)
believe that the mother-child relationship is greatly altered when divorce occurs.
They have found that children, especially girls are so eager to please their parents
that they actually set themselves up to take on a large portion of household and
family responsibilities. Girls often feel they have to look after their mothers and
see to their well-being. A daughter may become her mother's friend, advisor and
guide in many things and this often leads to a mother relying on her daughter.

When a child's mother becomes too reliant this may cause a problem. Daughters
easily become stuck in a web of love and guilt. They then tend to have problems
moving out of home into the world of their own peers and in attempting to make
a life of their own, i.e. separating from their mother. Some girls even find it too
difficult to feel and express anger that is necessary to separate at adolescence and
others are caught in the psychological trap of being afraid to surpass their
mothers.

3.7.2.2 The father child relationship)

-

Fathers exert a critical influence on their sons and daughters throughout childhood
and adolescence. They help them shape their characters, values, relationships with
other people and career choices. Wallerstein and Blakeslee (1990) have found that
"divorced fathers continue to exert such influences - in what they do and don't
do, both in the reality and in the fantasies that children weave around them - even
though they may move away, get remarried or visit their children infrequently.
Children do not dismiss their fathers just because there has been a divorce"
(p.234). Whether the non-custodial parent lives close by and visits regularly or
whether they are absent and visit infrequently, fathers always remain a significant
psychological presence in the lives of children after divorce. Wallerstein and
Blakeslee (1990) continue that "the father is part of the child's emotional life, a
factor in the child's self-esteem, self-image, aspirations and relationships with the
opposite sex" (p.234).

Few people realise how difficult it is for children to adjust to merely having a visiting
relationship with their fathers after spending much time with their fathers prior to the
separation or divorce. Wallerstein and Blakeslee (1990) claim that "at its core the
visiting relationship is ambiguous and hence stressful. What counts most in terms
of this 'visiting relationship' is not the quantity of time but the extent to which
the father and child have been able to maintain a relationship in which the child
feels valued." (p.244)

Many children over-idealise their absent fathers. Children of divorce may be very
sensitive to their father's good and bad sides, but they do not, as a rule, draw
conclusions that an objective observer would make from these records that they
 35

keep. Instead they have a powerful need to create a protective, loving father, one
who would never intentionally let them down. They often express undying love for
their father who has let them down as a provider, as a role model and as a
loving interested parent. Wallerstein & Blakeslee (1990) conclude that "without any
sense of contradiction, they are able to maintain a benign sense of the loving
father side by side with a history of repeated rejections and failures." (p.243)

Low self esteem in adolescence is often related to unresolved psychological issues,

for example, feelings of rejection, between divorced fathers and their children.
Children long for their fathers in the years after the divorce and those who are
close to their fathers beforehand are especially preoccupied with the notion of
restoring the closeness that they remember or fantasise about. In this regard,
Wallerstein and Blakeslee (1990) state that:

One of the saddest realities of the divorced family is the difficulty of

continuing earlier relationships. Girls strongly need a father during
adolescence. Some young people physically search for their fathers whereas
others psychologically search for some explanation of why their fathers let
them down. In so doing, they often interpret their fathers neutral
indifference, passivity or insensitivity as outright rejection. Just as they are
forming a separate identity in adolescence, just when they most need
support and approval, their self-esteem is injured by someone they love.
(p.143)

Wallerstein & Blakeslee (1990) continue that as girls and boys feel a rising need
for their fathers in adolescence, they go out of their way to gather pieces of
information to construct an image that suites those needs. If their mother is too
strict, the invented father is compassionate, a "Prince Charming" who will come to
the rescue if necessary. If the mother is aggressive and distracted, the idealised
father is gentle and attentive.

Beyond the fantasy father, however, children of divorce need real fathers to
encourage them at particular points in their lives. This is often in girls the time of
adolescence. Many girls may feel a real need for their fathers during adolescence.
The idealised father that the young adolescent girl imagines, is the exact opposite
of the image that later becomes prominent in their minds as they grow older, that
is, the father as betrayer. "Both images block the real picture of the father and
because daughters of divorce often have a hard time finding out what their fathers
are really like, they often experience great difficulty in establishing a realistic view
of men in general, in developing realistic expectations, and in exercising good
judgment in their choice of partner and in their relationships with men."
(Wallerstein & Blakeslee, 1990, p.244)
 36

3.7.2.3 Parents as role models

A boy cannot become fully a man - or a girl a woman - if they model

themselves only on the cues they pick up from one sex alone. A woman
cannot teach a boy to be a man, or a girl a woman, without the help of
men. And a man cannot either teach a boy to be a man or a girl to be a
woman without the help of women. (Berner, 1992, p.31)

Parents don't realise they are acting as models and children do not know that
they are learning to be fathers and mothers. Berner (1992) holds that the use of
attention and affection in this unconscious modeling process seems to be more
important than food or physical care-taking. Husbands and wives achieve consensus
and co-ordination. "One parent supports the other, enabling one to rest and
provide each other with a peer to consult. Each partner is given the opportunity
to complement the other." (Berner, 1992, p.2)

3.8 Deviance amongst adolescents

Buchanan, Maccoby and Dornbusch (1991) found that many adolescents from
divorced families claimed to have done many of the following things in the year
prior to being asked: smoke cigarettes, bought beer, drank alcohol, used a phony
ID, smoked dagga, copied homework, cheated on a test, bunked class or arrived
late for class, stolen something valuable from someone else, got into trouble with
the police and gotten into a physical fights at school.

Doherty, Su and Needle (in Doherty & Needle, 1990) conducted a study which
examined the use of substances by adolescents. They found that children who
experienced a parental divorce during adolescence were more likely to be involved
in substance abuse and to report problematic substance use than were children
who experienced no divorce or a divorce during preadolescent years. This study
did, however, have a down fall in that it did not examine the adolescent's
psychological adjustment and substance use before as well as after the divorce.
Doherty & Needle (1990) concluded that boys more than girls showed an effect
of divorce on substance use behavior. They found that girls showed a decrease in
psychological well-being both before and after separation.

3.9 Support systems

Divorce is the only major family crisis in which social supports disappear.
Neighbours think it is none of their business and friends are often afraid that they
will have to take sides. Ricci (1980) states that the significance of a social
support network in the time of need cannot be underestimated. When any
individual is faced with a crisis, his or her sense of security and well-being may
be enhanced if he or she is assured of emotional and practical assistance.
 37

Most studies recognise the vital importance of support from both parents at the
time of divorce, as well as just before and afterwards. Hetherington (in Berman,
1991) speaks about 'steeling effect' - where the child becomes a stronger person
for having gone through a divorce and learning to cope with adversity. She
believes the key element as to whether this enhancement takes place is that
somewhere there has to have been a close, concerned, involved adult.

Berner (1992) holds that parents are not the only people in children's lives and
hence a good relationship with another significant adult can be highly beneficial in
determining a positive outcome for the child. In some cases other adults may
become "substitute parents" or at least role models, on whom the child can rely
and turn to for help and support. Aunts, uncles, teachers, adult friends and
individuals from institutions in the community can function in positive ways in the
life of many children attempting to cope and work through parental divorce.

3.9.1 Grandparent support

Grandparents are logical protectors. But when divorce separates children from a
parent, it also often results in a weakening of the bond between the children and
the extended family of the non-custodial parent. In contrast, the child's bonds with
the family of the residential parent are frequently intensified. Grandparents are
powerful figures in a youngster's world. Grandparents have many positive attributes
and amongst these, availability and neutrality can be very important to children of
divorce. (Berner, 1992)

3.9.2 Sibling support

The few reports about sibling support at the time of divorce present contradictory
findings. Some clinical studies report enhanced sibling relationships while other
studies report few differences between siblings in divorced and non-divorced
families. Secunda (1991) maintains that some children of divorce claim that
parental divorce exacerbated the kind of rivalry that is par for the course at one
time or another in most families with more than one child. This increased
competition should not come as a surprise. The contest to determine whom one
parent loves best becomes far more serious when children do not see that parent
that regularly. Hetherington (in Secunda, 1991) found that older girls in divorced
families frequently play a supportive, nurturing role in relations with younger ,
female siblings.

Some literature on divorce claims that there is a great potential in the sibling
support system after divorce. Often siblings become closer, older siblings may
assume responsibility for their younger brothers and sisters and some siblings turn
to each other when they are distressed or upset. Levitin (1979) draws the
conclusion that absence of siblings may increase feelings of isolation but that
 38

having siblings does not automatically mean that the negative effects of divorce
may be lessened.

3.9.3 Support from friends

Mitchell (1985) and Wallerstein and Kelly (1980) all conclude that more girls as
opposed to boys had used their friends as a support system. Mitchell (1985)
reported that children who had confided in friends found that sharing experiences
and being aware of not being alone in their predicament were most helpful.
Wallerstein and Kelly (1980) felt that although the friendship group cannot be
thought of as a resource that is likely to help the troubled child it can be viewed
rather as a support system in which children often feel safe and secure. Some
researchers believe that children from divorced families may unconsciously try to
establish distance in their peer relationships as opposed to intimacy. This may be
done in an attempt to protect themselves from potentially harmful involvement.
(Wallerstein & Kelly, 1980)

3.9.4 Support from teachers

The child experiencing the crisis of parental separation needs, at every

grade level, to make sense out of the situation. They need to be able to air
their feelings without being judged. They need someone who they can
count on, someone who will recognise their feelings and give them a sense
of worth. They need someone to set limits and yet someone who can also
be a friend, an advisor or a surrogate parent if needed. They need
someone to help learn how to cope. (Diamond, 1985, p39.)

For the classroom teacher to fulfill all these needs would be a tall order but since
children spend at least one quarter of their day in a school, the teacher is often
the only stable and consistent adult with whom the child comes into contact and
hence he or she plays an important role.

A classroom can be a special place for a child experiencing a crisis as it can be

an environment in which his or her feelings can be safely shared. Diamond (1985)
claims that there is a "flurry" of attention and activity while the separation or
divorce is fresh, but after the flurry comes the day-to-day experience of living
with and coping with a new set of circumstances. This is a time when teachers
can play an extra-special role in a child's life. Children need some structure in
order to resume functioning on a regular level. Teachers are in a unique position
to provide support to their students. Through the classroom environment they
create and through the relationships into which they enter, they can fulfill a variety
of needs for students experiencing a crisis.

"Teachers don't have to give affection or love. Teachers don't have to be

psychologically trained or skilled. However they can help their students to have a
 39

feeling of security and can help them to find a sense of direction. They can help
them cope with and master difficult situations." (Diamond, 1985, p.45)

3.10 Coping with the divorce

In their research, Cull & Hardy (1974) mention that children of divorced parents
are faced with a multitude of losses. While on the surface it appears that they have
lost only the easy availability of a parent, in many cases, however, they have in
fact lost a basic psychosocial support system. The process of coping with loss is
the same whether the loss is a person, relationship or possession; whether the
cause of loss is death or divorce, losses must be mourned in order to satisfactorily
separate from a person or relationship and to allow new persons and relationships
to fulfill one's needs. In divorce, the problem with, accepting loss and moving
forward is complicated by the difficulty of discriminating the exact nature of the
various losses. Even when a father leaves, the loss is not clear and the child may
feel justified in hoping for his return.

3.10.1 Dealing with children's responses

3.10.1.1 Anger

Anger is a common and natural response for children. It is a response which

children need to learn is acceptable and at the appropriate time needs to be
expressed. When they realise that an integral part of their lives - their family - has
broken up and that their security and stable base is threatened, anger is certainly
understandable. Children may feel anger toward the parent they feel has left them
or who they feel caused the divorce; they may also feel angry at the fact that the
custodial parent does not have as much time for them. It is important to allow
children to express these angry feelings.

Diamond (1985) claims that children often feel angry at their parents for violating
the unwritten laws of parenthood; that is, children believe that parents should make
sacrifices for them and not vice versa. Many children grow up with their anger
bottled inside of them - they may fear hurting their parents if they admit how
they feel. Some children, especially younger ones, may act out and have more
temper tantrums than usual. Related to anger is the sense of powerlessness which
many children experience. Children feel they have no choice and no way to
influence their lives at the time of parental separation and divorce.

3.10.1.2 Guilt

Anger, if not shown, may be disguised as guilt. This is a form of anger which is
directed inward on oneself. Children often feel guilty in some way for causing the
divorce. The common cause of guilt, according to Diamond (1985), is the loyalty
conflict. Associated with guilt is the feeling that many children have, that they in
 40

fact caused the divorce due to something they did. Clifford Sager (in Berman,
1991), claims that even after the child grows up and has gained a better
understanding of the reasons for the divorce, a part of them clings to the belief
that they were not worthy of having an intact family.

3.10.1.3 Regression

People of many ages regress as a result of an experience that shakes their

security. Diamond (1985) discusses regression as the reflection of "an inhibition
about going on to the next stage and may freeze people where they are or take
them back to an earlier stage they remember as being secure." (p.27) In some
research it has been noted that children who had stopped sucking their thumb or
bed-wetting may resume these habits again around the time of separation. Other
children who have been sleeping alone for years, may start sleeping in the
custodial parent's bed at night.

3.10.1.4 Loneliness

Some children feel intense loneliness at a time of parental divorce. Many receive
little or no support despite experiencing things with which they are really grappling
and trying hard to accept. Often, all the past support given by their parents also
falls away as their parents are trying hard to deal with what is taking place
around them.

3.10.1.5 Somatic symptoms

Children in primary school may display a range of somatic symptoms such as

stomach aches and headaches. Adolescents complain more of fatigue as well as
headaches and nervous stomachs. In all cases there is a need from these children
to have a nurturing person to whom to go. They need to know their symptoms
are taken seriously and that it will all get better eventually.

3.10.1.6 Difficulties with trusting relationships

Children of divorce often experience difficulty trusting others and this often plays
itself out in the lives of adult children of divorce who have difficulty forming and
maintaining relationships. Closely related to trust is the fear of commitment. It is
very common for adult children of divorce to behave in such a way that they
bring about the very result they both feared and anticipated: the end of a
relationship. Berman (1991) maintains that healthy people feel good about their
sexuality, which requires the ability to give and accept love without fear of
hurting or of being hurt. Research reveals that sexuality is one of the most
challenging issues that emerge as a consequence of growing up as a child of
divorce. Some individuals from divorced families believed the very fear of
committing had held them back sexually.
 41

3.10.1.7 Sadness and depression

Sadness almost always exists initially and should be considered normal unless it
continues for a prolonged period of time. Diamond (1985) claims that children
often feel fatigued and this may slow them down in their functioning and decision
making. They may feel upset and no longer enjoy activities that they amused
themselves with in the past. Some children withdraw from their friends and spend
much of their time day-dreaming and fantasizing about how they would like things
to be. Other children cry easily and have difficulty concentrating. Diamond
concludes that although these aspects need to be noted, they need not cause too
much worry and anxiety. Depression, however, is something much more serious
which needs to be noticed. When children feel depressed their eating habits often
change and they find it hard to concentrate at school.

3.11 Parental divorce and religious beliefs

Among divorcee's children whom I met, more than a few tell of turning to
religion for its promise of the safety and stability they want and need.
In many ways, organised religion provides children of divorce with another
form of family - one that promises to be true to you as long as you
uphold your end of the bargain and honour your commitment to it.
(Berman, 1991, p.53)

Some researchers doubt whether religion will provide the kind of stability sought
by those who have experienced parental divorce. (Berman, 1991) Whatever the
case, it has been noted that some children of divorce find religious commitment
and practice to be very helpful in their effort to achieve balance in a world gone
awry. This area will be explored further in the current study.

3.12 Summary and conclusion

In conclusion, adolescence is a difficult period, fraught with gross changes, both

physically and mentally. Adolescents tend to experience frequent highs and lows of
emotion, which lead to feelings of vulnerability and instability. They need security
in their home environment as well as a clear belief system and family structure.

In divorced families, adolescence is, psychologically and socially, a different

experience. While in two-parent households adolescents may rebel, in divorced
families they may hold back. This inhibition of anger and aggression, common
during this developmental stage, is often one of the most serious long-term effects
of divorce. (Wallerstein & Blakeslee, 1990)

It seems that the most common reactions of adolescents to divorce, as shown by

various researchers include: concern about loss of family life, concern about ones
 41

future, feelings of responsibility for family members, anger and hostility. Problems
which may be expected of adolescents experiencing parental divorce include:
immature behaviour, early or late development of independence, over-closeness or
competition with the same sex parent, and worry about their own roles as a
sexual or marital partners.

Risk factors at the time of parental divorce which need to be taken seriously and
acted upon include: persistent academic failure, depression and suicide threats,
delinquency or promiscuity, and substance abuse. Parents are able to help their
adolescent children cope better with the stress of divorce if they are able to
maintain their parental role with the child. Children should be discouraged from
getting too involved in parents' worries and, although at times it may be very
difficult, parents should endeavor to limit their children's attempts to get involved
in their parents' concerns and worries. A child, especially during the stage of
adolescence, needs peer support and this should be encouraged and allowed by
parents. Maintaining consistent discipline is also important as well as being aware
of adolescents' emotional ups and downs which may be aggravated by the stress
of divorce.
 CHAPTER FOUR
RESEARCH METHODOLOGY

4.1 Choice of research topic and type of research design

People undertake to do research for a number of different reasons. Mouton and

Marais (1990) believe that the motivation to do research often arises largely out
of inquisitiveness about a certain subject or phenomenon.

4.2 Qualitative research

Mouton & Marais (1990) hold that "some authors are likely to classify all
research that does not contain statistics as qualitative while others may be more
inclined to specify that research in which specific methodologies or approaches,
such as hermeneutics, are used must be regarded as qualitative." (p.155) They go
on to state that "qualitative approaches are those approaches in which the
procedures are not strictly formalised, while the scope is more likely to be
undefined, and a more philosophical mode of operation is adopted " (Mouton, &
Marais, 1990, p.155)

One may best present the meaning of qualitative research by initially discussing
some of the terms commonly associated with it.

Field work/ Field research — This indicates that the research being constructed is
done so in the actual habitat of the subjects being studied. (Schurink, de Jongh
van Arkel & Roos, 1992)

Naturalistic research — implies that preconceived ideas that the researcher has prior
to beginning his or her research and with which he or she approaches the
research should be limited as far as possible. "The researcher should also not
manipulate what is being investigated." (Schurink, et al., 1992, p. I 4)

Case study — refers to a holistic or contextual strategy typically followed by

qualitative researchers. It implies that the aim of the research being undertaken is
not to generalise findings but rather to "study intensively a single case or a small
number of cases." (Schurink, et al., 1992, p.14)

Qualitative research requires that data is collected through methods which allow
for the researcher to grasp the "richness of the subjects' subjective life-worlds."
(Schurink, et al., 1992, p.14) Participant observation, in-depth interviews and
unstructured interviews have proven very useful for this.
 44

"The ideal of qualitative research is to gain insight into and understanding of

human actors' everyday life worlds." (Schurink, et al., 1992, p. I 5) It should allow
for the phenomenon being studied to actually "speak for itself', that is, the subject
being researched should be allowed to reveal himself or herself gradually as the
research moves along.

The qualitative researcher often tends to be more involved in the research than the
quantitative researcher who adopts a more distanced stance. In many quantitative
studies questionnaires are used which often result in the respondent not having any
contact with the researcher. The qualitative researcher tends to be present in the
interviews and, besides the factual information they obtain from the respondent,
they also gain some knowledge of the subject's behavior, manner and style.

In summary, the differences between qualitative and quantitative approaches could

be reduced to differences in structuring, control and scope. Qualitative approaches
are relatively more open and broader than quantitative approaches in the way that
they tackle problems. Qualitative research is thus subjectifying and personally
experienced; the researcher is involved with events; spontaneous examples are
obtained; it occurs in an unstructured way; it is open in that it allows for
recording of unexpected events and the actual context is taken into account.

4.3 The researcher in qualitative research

Cotterill and Letherby (1994) hold that the researcher in qualitative research endeavors to
be openly subjective and reflexive of themselves and the research process. This involves an
attempt to develop a "non-hierarchical" relationship and the researcher paying much
attention to the subject and what they express in order to explore and build on emerging
themes.

In such research, the researcher attempts to understand and get a grasp on the
situation under investigation without imposing pre-existing expectations. Ferreira (in
Mouton & Marais, 1990) claims that qualitative researchers begin with the specific
observations and move towards general patterns. As the researcher makes sense of
obtained information they are able to understand emerging patterns and recognise
categories of analysis being formed.

It can thus be said that qualitative research advocates an approach to examining

the empirical world which requires the researcher to interpret the real world from
the perspective of the subjects of her investigation. This calls for an emphasis on
natural observation and field work in the collection of data in the natural setting
of the subjects. (Mouton & Marais, 1990) It is necessary then, for the qualitative
interviewer to provide subjects with a framework within which they can respond in
terms of their own meanings.
 45

4.4 Research goals

In order for the researcher to provide both herself and other researchers with a
guide of what the research wishes to attain, she needs to state the research goals
the study wishes to achieve. In other words, one could ask the following question
from Mouton and Marais (1990) "Is the aim of the research to describe, to
explain or to predict or is the aim exploratory?" (Mouton & Marais, 1990, p. 42)

Exploratory research usually leads to the researcher gaining a better insight into the
subject being studied. For this purpose it has been found in other such studies that
useful tools to use to gather information may include in-depth interviews and
analysis of case studies. The most important research design considerations which
one needs to keep in mind include the use of an open and flexible research
strategy as well as the use of methods such as literature reviews, interviews and
case studies which may lead to insight and comprehension.

4.5 Data collection

Paton (in Mouton & Marais, 1990, p.214) points to the necessity in qualitative
interviewing of "capturing the actual words of the interviewee, there being no
substitute for the raw data of actual quotations spoken by interviewees." This is
made possible by using one of a number of methods, for example, unstructured
interviews, making use of an interview guide and jotting down field notes during
the interview.

4.5.1 Unstructured interviews

Interviewing is a common method used in qualitative research. Qualitative

researchers very rarely use structured interviews or questionnaires. Generally, they
prefer to use "informal, unstructured or semi-structured interviews which are
flexible and dynamic. This kind of interviewing is known as in-depth interviewing,
during which a set of topics and themes are used to ask questions during the
conversation." (Schurink, et al., 1992, p.15)

The aim of this type of interviewing is to provide a context wherein a subject can
speak freely and in her own terms about certain topics and sub-topics which the
researcher brings to the interaction. It also allows for the interviewee to introduce
other topics they wish to discuss and for the interviewer to probe aspects of what is said
by the subject or open up new dimensions of a topic that they may wish to discuss.
The researcher generally has an outline of what questions they wish to ask and
what topics they want to explore.

This type of interviewing has been referred to as "non-directive" by some critics. However
Whyte (1984) disagrees with this. He claims that the interview is not fixed by rigid, pre-
 46

determined questions as in a questionnaire, but rather it is designed to allow the

interviewee to introduce materials that were not anticipated by the researcher.

4.5.2 Interview guide

An interview guide is a list of topics and areas that the researcher wishes to
explore with the subjects during the interviews. It is not a set of rigidly structured
questions to be asked verbatim as written down on the guide. Rather, it acts as a
framework to help the researcher assess what questions to ask about what topics
and in which areas they want to pursue more or less information. Lofland and
Lofland (1995) suggest unstructured interviewing may more accurately be referred to as
"guided conversations."

People vary in how talkative they are. With less talkative individuals, the interviewer is
likely to go through the research guide in the order it is set up, whereas with more verbal
subjects responses given may raise many topics and some questions may inadvertently be
answered. In these cases, the research guide may function as more of a check list where
one can tick off areas that are discussed as they are dealt with and hence not
leave out any important sections of information.

The interview guide often begins with or has a face-sheet attached which consists purely
of factual data such as: name, age, date of interview, etc. It may also contain a "post-
interview comment sheet" which consists of material that the interviewer does not share
with the subjects. (Lofland & Lofland, 1995) This is a space in which the interviewer can
write down field notes once they have completed the interview. The field notes may
contain information such as: descriptions of the setting or interviewee, emotional tone of
the interview, any difficulties that arose during the interview and feelings or insights of the
interviewer during the interview or afterwards.

4.5.3 Participant observation

Whyte (1984) states that the participation of researchers in the activities of their subjects
will be shaped partly by the degrees of difference in cultural background, race or ethnic
identification between the interviewer and the individual being studied. "Where these
differences are minimal, the researcher may be accepted almost as a native. Where the
differences are large, particular opportunities will be more limited, but we can hope to be
accepted as friendly and sympathetic observers." (Whyte, 1984, p.28)

Participant observation is a method whereby the researcher, to a greater or lesser

degree, becomes part of the subject's everyday events. By observing systematically,
asking questions and recording information, the researcher can gain insight into the
subject's life-world. Gold ( in Schurink et al., 1992) distinguishes between 4 roles
which the participant observer can play: full participant; participant observer;
observer participant and full observer.
 47

Participant observers generally participate in their subject's activities, whereas others

remain observers and hope that they are accepted as such.

4.6 Recording the data

In research of an exploratory nature one aims initially to adopt a flexible approach

and through this eventually arrive at the formulation of an hypothesis. Much data
is gathered in qualitative research and this then needs to be recorded in some way
and then analysed. Researchers often include snippets of their interviews or
transcripts in the actual report.

Tape recorders provide the fullest recording of any interview. They allow the
interviewer to give the subject being interviewed their full attention. They allow the
researcher to think of relevant questions to ask as the interviewee is speaking, to
probe further and to attend to given information in a manner which shows the
subject that the interviewer is listening. One danger, however, is that they can
damage rapport between interviewer and subject as they seem quite formal. The
interviewer may also fall into the trap of not paying full attention to the
interviewee due to the fact that they know the interview is being recorded. In order
to eliminate this danger, one could take very sparse notes consisting largely of key
words and key phrases.

Once the interview is completed the researcher can then transcribe the interviews
and analyse them at a later stage. It is important not to let too much time pass
between the interview and studying the transcript as valuable recollections can be
forgotten.

4.6.1 Research setting

It is important that the environment in which the subjects are interviewed is one
in which they can feel relaxed and at ease. The setting ideally should be a neutral
one with which the subjects are familiar, for example in their own homes, work
place or school.

4.6.2 Building rapport

The first concern of any researcher is to build rapport with the interviewee. They can do
this by initially steering the conversation away from the main topic of discussion and
personal issues and rather begin by asking general questions such as what the subject does,
where they live, what they do in their free time, etc.

John Dean (in Johnson, 1975) argues that an interviewer becomes accepted more
because of the kind of person they turn out to be in the eyes of the interviewee rather than
because of what the research represents to them. Subjects need to be reassured that the
 48

"researcher is a 'good guy' and can be trusted not to 'do them dirt' with what he finds
out." ( Johnson, 1975, p.85)

Mouton and Marais (1990) believe that the advantage of a sound interpersonal
relationship between the researcher and the subject being interviewed is that it acts
to neutralise initial distrust. If the respondent trusts the interviewer, they need not
play a role of any sort.

4.6.3 Field notes

Taking sparse notes during the interview is very helpful in gaining a more fuller
picture of the interaction as opposed to recapping it later from memory. There is a
disadvantage, however, in that it may prevent the interviewer from paying full
attention and from observing valuable non-verbals such as gestures and facial
expressions.

Schurink, et al. (1992) state that field notes are not only "summaries of events but
also extensive renditions of the observations made. The qualitative researcher
should indicate any "developing theme, concept, hypothesis and/or proposition."
(Schurink, et al., 1992, p.17)

4.7 Data analysis, interpretation and final phase

Schurink, de Jongh van Arkel and Roos (1992) hold that "qualitative researchers are
characteristically inclined to analyse and interpret their data inductively, that is,
they seldom search for data to test a hypothesis that was formulated prior to
commencing the study, but tend rather to formulate hypotheses from the data
obtained." (p.19)

Data analysis involves a long process of reading and re-reading the subjects' interviews .

Bogdan and Biklen (in Schurink, et al., 1992) propose a theory called "ground theory"
which emerges from the bottom up, from many pieces of collected evidence that
are interconnected. They state that:

The direction you will travel comes after you have been collecting the data,
after you have spent time with your subjects. You are not putting together
a puzzle, whose picture you already know. You are constructing a picture
which takes shape as you collect and examine parts. The process of data
analysis is like a funnel: things are open at the beginning and more
directed and specific at the bottom. (Schurink, et al., 1992, p.19)

When analysing data one undergoes a process of searching for generalities and
differences in the data. On the one hand the researcher examines the data for general
themes, concepts or patterns that occur fairly commonly, whereas on the other hand they
also remain alert to any deviations from these norm or generalities and the reasons for
 49

such deviations. Harvey (in Burgess, 1994) claims that interpretations are not justified by
the accumulation of "facts" but by an active and involved understanding and
representation of the social world that is presented by the interviewees to the
researcher."It remains incumbent on the qualitative researcher to stand back from
their subject and the data and to sociologically interpret their viewpoints." (Ferreira,
in Mouton & Marais, 1990, p.217)

Emotional involvement with the research clearly places the researcher in a vulnerable
position when she writes up the study. When rereading one's own study, researchers are
able to recall the particular interview settings as well as the various reactions and emotions
shown by the subjects. Researchers continue to be moved by these recollections.

Schurink, et al. (1992) aptly sum up the end stages of research as follows: "There is
always one more person to interview, one more loose end to tie up, or one more
area to pursue" (p.20) Once the last interview has been recorded, the data analysed and
the report written, it is assumed the project is over and yet one strongly agrees with
Cotterill and Letherby (1994) who claim that this is not the case. They feel that the
research is chosen and approached by the researcher in a certain way because of that
particular individual's personal opinions and beliefs and these in turn are affected by the
research and hence in this sense, the research always lives on and is never totally over.

4.8 Personal research methodology

4.8.1 Reason for choice of topic

In the present research the reason for the choice of topic was largely due to the
researcher's interest in whether divorce, like death of a parent, has long-term
effects on children, especially adolescents as they are at a stage in their lives
when they desire structure and a stable home base as so many other areas of
their lives don't seem to feel stable. Qualitative research was the design of choice
due to the sensitive nature of the topic.

4.8.2 Research goals

The present study is exploratory in nature. This suggests that the goals are to
explore a relatively unknown area. Aims include: gaining better insight into the
subject of divorce and specifically its effects on adolescents; to be made aware of
central themes, generalisations and similarities that exist between adolescents
experiencing parental divorce; and to determine other areas which could be
researched in the future.
 50

4.8.3 Data collection

In this study, data was obtained over a period of approximately seven months,
between April and October, 1996. Ten adolescents girls, between the ages of 13
and 17 inclusive, were interviewed 1 to 24 months after parental separation. For
the purpose of clarity one defined a period of marital separation as "the time
when the parents physically separated and remained permanently apart." (Wallerstein
& Blakeslee, 1990, p.322) Hence some of the subjects were interviewed even
though their parents' final divorce settlement had not gone through.

Prior to the family rupture, all subjects had reached their appropriate
developmental milestones. None of their parents had remarried. The subjects were
school pupils from various schools in Gauteng and they were all performing at
age appropriate levels within their schools at the time of the interview. Children
were largely, but not entirely from middle and lower class backgrounds. They were
informed of the study by the school guidance teacher or principal and participated
on a voluntary basis.

The interviews, as would be expected, differed slightly but certain procedures and
regulations were fairly typical. Firstly the subjects' names were obtained via a
teacher, school psychologist or principal and a meeting was set up. The researcher
met with the subjects in the school setting and the purpose, aims and nature of
the study was explained to them. They were informed of the nature of the
interview and the time involved. All subjects were assured that the interviews were
strictly confidential and that they would remain anonymous in the written report.

Subjects were given consent forms for their parents to sign. In cases where
parents were unable to sign due to the individuals living in hostels or elsewhere,
the subjects then gave their own verbal consent. Interview dates and times were
then established and the interviews were all conducted within three weeks of the
initial meeting with the subjects. For practical reasons, only one interview was
conducted with each subject.

The length of the interviews varied between subjects but they were rarely less
than forty minutes long. The interviewer began each interview by telling the subject
something about herself in terms of her training, background and the reason for her
interest in the topic. The researcher attempted to assume a non-judgmental,
supportive and understanding attitude. Subjects were told that there were no right or
wrong answers and that the researcher was interested in hearing their opinions and
personal experiences. They were informed that they were free to interrupt and ask
clarifying questions at any time.

The direction the interviews moved in varied slightly according to the subjects and
their experiences. The researcher took short notes and jotted down key words
 51

during the interview to supplement the taped interviews. The interviews were then
transcribed and replayed and notes were taken concerning the clinical impressions
of the interviewee on the interviewer. These notes were filed with the transcripts
of the interviews and the interview guide for later analysis and interpretation.

4.8.3.1 Unstructured interviews

In the present research unstructured, in-depth interviews were used. The researcher
attempted to present sub-topics to the subjects in the form of loosely worded
open-ended questions. The topics were not always presented in the order in which
they were presented on the interview guide. The researcher allowed the subjects to
elaborate and expand on the various topics. The researcher asked further questions
at times in order to clarify what subjects were saying when issues seemed
somewhat vague.

4.8.3.2 Interview guide

The interview guide in the present study was compiled after reading extensive
literature on divorce and the effects it has on children and adolescents. From this
the researcher was able to delineate various topics and sub-topics to focus on in
the interviews. The guide and division of topics also made it easier when data had
to be analysed and interpreted.

4.8.3.3 Participant observation

The current research entailed only the role of observer participant.

4.8.4 Recording the data

Tape recordings were taken of each interview in the current research in order for
the researcher to listen to them again. These were then transcribed by the researcher
and studied as soon after the interview as possible. Permission was obtained from the
subjects before the taping commenced. Transcribing interviews oneself can be tiresome
but it provides a very good opportunity to listen to the interviews piece for piece.

4.8.4.1 Research setting

The subjects in the current study were all interviewed at their own schools in a
classroom, outside in the play-ground, in a teacher's office or in an empty classroom.

4.8.4.2 Building rapport

The researcher in the present study attempted to build rapport in the initial stages of the
interview by talking casually with the subjects about school, friends, etc.
 52

4.8.4.3 Field notes

In the current study, brief field notes in the form of key words and sentences were
jotted down during the interview. Field notes were referred to when the interviewer made
post-interview comments.

4.8.5 Data analysis, interpretation and final phase

In this research, once the literature survey had been completed and the interviews
had been carried out, the researcher then had to read over, consolidate and
carefully examine the various interviews of the ten subjects in the study. Main
themes were noted and similarities and differences were interpreted. The results
were then recorded and quotes were used to show various ideas that stood out.

4.9 Evaluation of the Qualitative research framework

The researcher feels that the qualitative research design that was used in the
current study succeeded in capturing the essence of the subjects experiences in their
individual interviews and depicting their real life experiences of parental divorce.

One important limitation of this study was possibly the fact that only one interview
was carried out with each subject and through further interaction with the subjects,
more valuable information may have been obtained. The researcher also feels that
use of a triangulation strategy, a method which involves the use of more than one
interviewer, could be very beneficial in eliminating any personal bias that may have
arisen and allow for aspects, that one interviewer may have missed, to be enlarged
upon.

Although costly, videotaping the interviews could have been a useful observational
and analytical tool, especially for retrospectively rating interactions to check out
hypotheses not formulated initially.
 CHAPTER FIVE
RESULTS

For middle class children, divorce is likely to be the greatest stress they
are likely to face while growing up. They do not have to deal with war,
racism, hunger, poverty or violence. Because they grow up in relatively
stable, protected homes in which most had been well cared for, the effects
of the marital failure and divorce stand out clearly" (Wallerstein & Blakeslee,
1990, p. xv)

Single parent households occur among many peoples in varying frequencies. "The
one parent family is not inherently inferior or abnormal; condemning it as
pathological is a cover-up for the economic inequalities of the society. Cross-
cultural research shows that the single-parent family occurs in many other societies
as well as our own." (Bilge & Kaufman, 1983, p.69) One large downfall,
however, is that in most, if not all societies- there are no adequate support
systems for children of single parent households.

In the current study ten children were interviewed one to twenty-four months after
the parental separation, which was defined as the time when the parents physically
separated and remained permanently apart. Prior to the family rupture all of the
children had reached appropriate developmental milestones. They were performing
at age-appropriate levels within their schools. The children were largely, but not
entirely from the middle class and lower middle class. All relevant aspects of their
experience of their parents' divorce is discussed under various headings. A short
paragraph has been written on each respondent in terms of how they presented
themselves to the interviewer.

RESULTS

5.1 Biographical details

In the following section, respondents are briefly described. The subjects are from
five different schools in Gauteng. The adolescents from schools A, B and C
(mentioned below) are from relatively low to middle socio-economic backgrounds,
whereas those from schools D and E are from middle socio-economic backgrounds.
A table is presented of the respondents age at the time of the interview; age at
the time of the divorce; standard they are in at school; number of months since
the divorce; whether their parents are officially divorced or still separated; how
many siblings they have; who they live with; what religion they are and what
school they attend. There after, a brief description is given of each subject in
terms of how they presented themselves in the interview.
 54

TABLE 1

li]:'1674 (Cr ' •

`N.
A e Age at ::'" ' Separ- - Lives
of ated ' with?
tim e or
the ::: div-
div- orced
orce
oficc*,:m,:mmir —•;5ixr:!;,:ictaritt
...;

0 in

I lost el
/ Dad

Mom

Mom

Aunt
at id
sister

Mom

Grand-
parents
and
mom

G rax -
!nod Icr

I losnd/
Dad

M om

A short interactional description of the respondents

no.1: She presented herself as mature and self-assured. She spoke in an honest
and open way and came across as very open in terms of her interaction.
She was congruent and seemed to have accepted her parents' divorce fairly
easily.
 55

She presented herself as an extremely friendly and excited individual. She

was very open in her interaction with the researcher and was congruent
throughout the interview. She talked openly and with ease and she
presented herself as an individual who functions well.

She presented herself as a loud and confident individual. She was open and
congruent in her interactions and talked with ease. She came across as a
very 'together' adolescent. She showed strong and intense emotions during
the interview which had an effect of drawing the researcher closer to the
respondent.

A quiet, responsible and fairly introspective individual. She presented herself

with a great deal of inner strength. She was very nervous at the beginning
of the interview and answered questions in short answers, giving little
spontaneous information. This had the effect of distancing the researcher
from the respondent. However as the interview progressed, she did open up
and begin to relax more.

She presented herself initially as a fairly shy and closed individual, but as
the interview progressed she seemed to open up and present herself as
more relaxed and at ease. She answered all the questions she was asked but
refrained from elaborating. She was emotional and tearful during the
interview. It was fairly difficult for the interviewer to get to know her
during one interview due to her short, concise answers.

A friendly and bubbly individual. She seems to present herself to others

as confident and mature and yet the researcher felt she was possibly feeling
very confused under her facade of coping well. She became very emotional
and tearful during the interview.

She presented herself as mature, self-assured and confident. She spoke with
ease. It was easy to build up a relationship and the researcher felt that by
the end of the interview she had a good idea of who this individual is. She
appeared congruent throughout the interview.

She comes across as a shy and reserved individual. Initially she gave very
short answers and presented little spontaneous information. She seemed a bit
suspicious of what was going to be done with the information she
presented. She was henceforth fairly hesitant in answering many questions
and the researcher found it difficult to build up a relationship with her. At
times the tone of her voice became quite intense and angry especially
when talking about her father.

She presented herself as a very closed and distant individual. She spoke in
a tense staccato manner. She is still very hurt and angry about her parent's
 56

divorce. She presented a strong and unapproachable facade which created

much distance between herself and the interviewer

no.10: She presented herself as a confident, independent and mature individual. She
spoke with ease but seemed to create a distance between herself and the
interviewer. She spoke in an unemotional tone and it was difficult to build
up a relationship with her. She gave a fairly passive account of her
parent's divorce and at times presented as incongruent and unsure of
herself.

5.2 Family relationships

From the literature presented in the previous chapters, the researcher would expect
that at the time of the parental divorce, parenting behavior is disrupted and that
parents communicate less effectively with their children. (Hetherington, in Forehand
et al, 1990) It has also been noted that during this same period, children are
given less support from their parents and their relationships often seem to be less
reliable. (Wallerstein & Blakeslee, 1990) Research on sibling relationships at the
time of divorce are contradictory and where some researchers believe they provide
much support for each other, others believe it can be a time of great hostility
during which children compete for their parents' affection and attention. (Secunda,
1991) Grandparents are expected to play a more supportive role. (Secunda, 1991)

In the section below the adolescents' experiences of their relationships with their
parents, their siblings and their extended families are presented. Thereafter they are
discussed in terms of what was found.

5.2.1 Parent-adolescent communication about divorce and other problems

She stated that: "I only talk to my mom" (researcher's transcripts) when
asked who she is able to speak to about the divorce and other problems
she may have.

She claims she speaks to her father about the divorce and any problems
she has. She also added that she may confide in her older sister about
some problems.

She is able to speak to both parents about the divorce. She would speak to
either of her parents depending on what other problems she was
experiencing.

She would speak to her mom if she had questions about the divorce as
well as any, problems she has.
 57

"We don't really talk about it." (Researcher's transcript) This was the
response given when she was asked who she could talk to about the
divorce. In terms of who she can confide in when she has problems, she
claimed it would be her mother or her older sister.

She claimed that "We don't actually ever talk about it" (the divorce).
(Researcher's transcript) When she has problems she confides in her father,
but she added "I don't have ( problems, besides silly fights." (Researcher's
transcripts)

She is able to talk to both parents about the divorce at present but there
was a time when she claimed that "I couldn't talk to my morn about
it..." (Researcher's transcripts) She felt unsure as to how her parents would
react if she asked too many questions so as a result it prevented her from
asking questions. When she has a problem she generally confides in her
mother or at times in her boyfriend.

She stated that she's "able to talk to mom" about the divorce.
(Researcher's transcripts) When she has a problem she speaks to her
mother about it.

"I speak to my mom a lot about it (divorce) and my dad - when we

speak about it, he just says everything and I don't say anything".
(Researcher's transcripts) She confides in her best friend when she has a
problem.

"I don't really speak about the divorce. It's over." (Researcher's transcripts)
When she has a problem, she speaks to her best friend about it.

The statements above suggest that many of the girls who were interviewed were
unable to speak to both parents about the divorce. Only one subject mentioned
being able to freely discuss issues concerning the divorce with both parents. Some
believed they could talk to one or other parent, however, fifty percent felt it was
easier to speak to their mothers about it. Two subjects claimed that their families
don't talk about the divorce at all.

Four of the subjects claimed that when they had a problem they would generally
speak to their mother about it (40%), two felt they confided more in their best-
friends, two spoke more readily with their fathers, one claimed she would speak to
her sister whilst another felt she would speak to either parent depending on the
problem. There were mixed feelings in terms of relationships with parents. Only
two of the girls claimed they were close to both parents before the divorce,
another two felt they were closer to their father than to their mother before the
divorce and the majority believed they had better relationships with their mother as
opposed to their father prior to the divorce. (60%)
 5S

When asked about their relationships with both parents after the divorce, six of the
respondents claimed they got on better with their mothers than with their fathers,
two still felt they had better relationships with their fathers, one felt her
relationship with both had remained the same, whilst another felt she got on
poorly with both and another felt she got on well with both. It seems as if the
majority, however, are closer and have better relationships with their mothers. This
may have something to do with the fact that many of these children actually live
with their mothers and, hence, spend more time with them. One child stated that
she last saw her father when her parents separated - she never got on with him
as he used to beat up her mother.

5.2.2 Sibling relationships

In terms of how she gets on with her brother and sister she mentioned that
"I don't fight with them. They are nice to me and I any nice to them."
(Researcher's transcripts)

She gets on very well with her older sister and younger brother. She
seemed to be very concerned and protective over her brother. She stated
"My brother expects me to look after him and help him through it (the
divorce) and when I'm not there, he's trapped in it wish I could be
there to help him through it." (Researcher's transcripts) She occasionally
fights with her brother but rarely with her sister. She feels she is getting
on better with her sister at present than ever before, and her brother and
herself have grown closer since she has been at boarding school.

She claims her relationship with her brother is terrible. "He hits me...it's a
serious problem." She believes her relationship with him has deteriorated
since their parents divorced. She stated that she thinks her brother has "got
a lot of anger inside him and he takes it out on me... I spend as much
time as I possibly can away from my brother because he's always hitting
me." She feels that her brother and herself should have "stood by each
other more, because I think maybe that would have helped
us." (Researcher's transcripts)

She believes that of all the people in her family she gets on best with her
eldest sister and worst with her other sister. She describes her as being
"bossy and she hurts my feelings." (Researcher's transcripts)

She gets on slightly better with her eldest sister than her "middle" sister.
She believes that her relationship with each sister is quite different and she
claims that she has never really fought with either of them.
 59

She gets on best with her eldest sister, although when they were younger
they fought terribly. At one point after the divorce, she believed her sister
had caused her father to leave and hence she blamed her for the divorce.
She doesn't believe this anymore however.

She claims she gets on with her little sister although she added "we always
fight, but its nothing much...not big tights." (Researcher's transcripts)

Her younger sister lives with her paternal grandparents so they only see
each other on weekends. She claims they "fight a bit, but not serious."
(Researcher's transcripts) She feels that lately they are getting on better than
they have for a long time and not fighting as much.

She gets on best with her older sister who is studying at University in
Grahamstown. She describes her brother as "overprotective" and she claims
that she doesn't speak to him about their parents' divorce.

When her older sister lived at home, she claims they got on very well:
"We used to go out all the time. I could speak to her about anything."
(Researcher's transcripts) Recently she moved out of home. The respondent
claims that she has got closer to her brother as a result, although they
fight occasionally when he irritates her.

Subjects claimed that generally they had good relationships with their siblings.
Most felt they were able to talk to them easily. In some cases they weren't living
together and only saw each other on weekends or holidays. However this was
not always due to the divorce but rather due to the sibling being away at
university or having to work and earn money elsewhere. In two cases, siblings
were separated after the divorce: in the one case, one child lived with her father
and the other with her mother, in the other family the second child lived with
grandparents. This seemed to be the case in families where the mothers had moved
out of the family home and were forced to move in with members of the
extended family.

It was found that in families where subjects had a sister, they seemed to get on
best with their sister. (60%). This is possibly due to the fact that the sample
consisted wholly of girls. Other subjects mentioned getting on best with their
mothers and only one subject felt she got on best with her father. It seemed as if
in families where mothers were working or where they were actually not present
during the week that siblings were particularly close to a sister or in one case to
an aunt when her mother was not there. One subject claimed she gets on equally
well with her sister, her dad and her brother, and another claimed she gets on
well with both her mother and her aunt.
 60

5.2.3 Extended family

Subjects were asked about their relationships with their grandparents in terms of
how frequently they see them and whether they helped them at all during their
parents' divorce. They gave the following answers:

"I see them often. They help my mother by giving her money. We get on
well and see each other every weekend." (Researcher's transcripts)

"They're overseas so I don't see them often. They didn't help at all."
(Researcher's transcripts)

She doesn't get on with her maternal grandmother. She believes it's due to
"a personality clash, she gets on my nerves but I do appreciate her being
there and doing everything she does..." She states that her maternal grand-
mother wasn't helpful at the time of divorce because "she was hateful
towards my dad. My dad's parents were supportive...but they were
confused...they realised it was their son's fault...I see them often."
(Researcher's transcripts)

"I see my mother's mother, but not often. We get on well. They didn't
help during the time of the divorce because I didn't see her at all then,
only afterwards." (Researcher's transcripts)

Her grandparents were not alive when her parents divorced.

"I've got grandparents but only a grandpa. He's old and deaf and lives
far away." (Researcher's transcripts) She doesn't feel he was a support at
the time of her parents divorce.

"I get on very well with them. They say I'm the favourite. They gave a lot of
support, because now my mom stays there. When it happened, they called
me and said I mustn't feel lonely. If I wanted to say anything they were
there for me." (Researcher's transcripts)

"I live with my gran. I don't always get on with her because she's elderly
but she has helped. On the other side, those grandparents were not happy
about the separation and didn't give us any support." (Researcher's
transcripts)

"I do have grandparents. I'm not close to them, I don't see them much.
They're quite old. They haven't helped at all. We haven't talked about it.
My family don't talk much." (Researcher's transcripts)
 61

no.10: "I've got one - I'm fairly close to her. She was caring at the time of the
divorce, an understanding person." (Researcher's transcripts)

Half the subjects felt that at least one set of grandparents were supportive, some
by providing financial help and others providing emotional support and caring. The
other half of the subjects claimed their grandparents were not supportive either
due to the fact that they are old or that they lived in another country or that they
had seemed to have taken sides.

When asked whether they are close to anyone else in their extended families or
whether they received support from anyone else, the majority (60%) claimed that
they had not received support from any extended family members. Three mentioned
getting support from an aunt and one from an uncle however.

5.3 The divorce

Research suggests that the period prior to the divorce is generally one of strife
and friction between the divorcing couple. This would be expected in the present
study. Reactions typically portrayed by adolescents and which may also be
apparent in the present study include intense anger, fear about their future
(Bonkowski, Boomhower & Bequette, 1985), sadness, reactive depression and
disruptions in concentration at school. (Kelly, 1980) Wallerstein and Kelly (1980)
emphasised that it is also a period of major crisis and yet it is a time when social
support is often not provided. In this section the researcher presents the subjects
experiences of their households prior to the divorce, their reactions and feelings
when they initially heard about their parents divorce, the sources of support that
were available to them and the living arrangements that were made after the
divorce.

5.3.1 Parent relationships before the divorce

Subjects were asked about parental relationships prior to the divorce as well as
what they felt had caused their parents' divorce. They gave the following answers:

"They were good, they didn't fight, they just disagreed about my dad's
job." She claimed that the reason her parents divorced was due to the
following : "My mom was telling my father to leave the job that he had
because they didn't pay him well. Then he decided to go. It was in
1994...In 1995 my mom decided to divorce him because there was no
longer hope that he would come back." (Researcher's transcripts)

"They'd sit in separate rooms, not talk at all, not go out anywhere because
they weren't talking. They had some fights but we didn't hear them...My
 62

dad told me that it was because he had a weakness in spending money

and my mom kept provoking him." (Researcher's transcripts)

"They used to argue quite a lot but they never used to argue in front of us. They
actually used to argue at night...I would lie in bed, listening to them...my brother
was asleep...he didn't actually know...My dad actually had an affair."
(Researcher's transcripts) She also mentioned that her mother had a spinal
fusion and her father had not been supportive as he was trying to come to
terms with losing his job which occurred at the same time.

"Dad drank a lot, he beat my mother up and chased us out the house.
They fought, argued and shouted everyday...He used to beat my mom in
front of us. Sometimes he used to go out, come back at 20h00 and chase us
out of the house until 02h00. He used to drink and never gave my
mother money." (Researcher's transcripts)

"Mom and Dad fought but we never saw them, mom told us later. Before
the separation they didn't talk to each other." (Researcher's transcripts)

"Fighting, fights and quarrels all the time. It was terrible...lots of shouting."
(Researcher's transcripts) She is unsure what problems her parents had.

"Occasionally mom cried, but I couldn't ask what was wrong because
I didn't have the confidence to ask what was going on...I think the thing
began when my mom was pregnant with the second born...It was a little
boy and my father hit her. I don't know, she got a miscarriage or
something. So my mom was still cross with that, she couldn't handle it. She
always brought it up and my father used to hit her for that." (Researcher's
transcripts)

"My father was a drunkard and fought with my mother." (Researcher's

transcripts)

"For awhile my parents fought, then it got to the stage where they didn't
even talk anymore...I don't think my dad was very faithful." (Researcher's
transcripts)

"They would fight a lot...My dad was paying more attention to his father
and his sister than he was to his children and his wife and so that's why I
guess they kept fighting...in some ways, I think it was also to do with my
mom." (Researcher's transcripts)

The majority of the subjects (80%) who were interviewed described the period
before the divorce as one filled with much arguing and fighting between the
parents. Some mentioned witnessing their parents fights, whereas others overheard
 63

them fighting at night or were told by their parents at a later stage. One subject
was even thrown out of the house by her angry father until the early hours of
the morning. Three subjects described a period where their parents still lived together
and yet were not actually talking to each other.

The adolescents seemed quite clear about the various problems their parents had
that caused them to separate. These varied from fathers having affairs (20%) to
fathers who were physically abusive (30%). Only two subjects were unsure of the
reason for their parent's separation or divorce. Most of the subjects blamed their
fathers for the divorce which could be due to the fact that most of them are in
fact living with their mothers or due to the fact that the respondents are all
females and hence may identify more with their mothers.

5.3.2 Reactions and feelings

Adolescents were asked which parent had told them about the divorce, how they
had felt when they were first told and what their reactions were. This is what
they said:

" Mom told me, but before she told me I saw the papers from the court,
the divorce certificate. I asked my mom and she told me it was a divorce
decree which means that she and my dad are no longer staying together
and she then said they were arguing about his job." (Researcher's
transcripts) She initially felt "worried and afraid" that her mother wasn't
able to do everything herself When her parents divorced she stated that she
didn't cry and went on to add that "I don't cry...I never cry!" At the time
of the interview she claimed she was "much happier" because her mother
had coped well.

"My brother came to me a week before and said he heard my dad telling
my aunt they were getting divorced. He was upset so I was upset. The
next weekend mom was not there when I got home, Dad called me and
said that he had a new cookbook for me and then he told me...I thought
to myself 'I'm okay, I can handle this.' He said he couldn't live with mom
anymore and that they had a few disagreements and found it was better for
us kids if they stayed apart for awhile...I was shocked." (Researcher's
transcripts) She claims her dad asked if she was upset but she answered
"no I'll be fine." She claims she didn't cry when her father first told her
"but two week later...(I) did." She added that she blames herself because
her father told her one night that half the reason for the divorce was
because of her brother and herself fighting. This made her feel like it was
her fault and hence she sometimes feels guilty. At the time of the
interview she stated: "I feel torn in half every time I go to my mom's
house on Saturday morning. Half wants to stay with my dad and half wants
 64

to stay with my mom." She also mentioned that she cries every Sunday
night "because I don't want to leave home." (Researcher's transcripts)

"I can't actually remember...my mom sort of told me and then my dad told me..1
overheard them (fighting before they told us)...My dad actually told us on the way
home from school one day...he was crying a bit...he said 'guys, there's something
I need to tell you...I'm sorry we had to do this...mom and I have decided to get a
divorce." I cried a little bit...not so much because I already knew...I don't think it
had really sunk in...I can't really explain it. I have felt more anger towards
my dad because I think I've always been angry at my mom and I realised
that it's not actually all my mom's fault....I've just had a major fight with
my dad...it's only sunk in that my parents are divorced and it's B's
(father's girlfriend) fault." (Researcher's transcripts) The respondent claimed
that in the past month she has felt quite shocked. "I'm not really a great
crier. I don't cry...I will always just try to be as happy as I can...I'm quite
a strong believer in the fact that you must take life for the best because if
you die tomorrow, then the day before you would have been upset and
what a waste. So you must always try to be as happy as you can."
(Researcher's transcripts)

"Mom told me we were moving because it was not safe to live with my
dad. Mom didn't trust him; she was scared of him...I didn't believe it. I
couldn't believe it would happen to me. I felt happy and sad. Sad for my
mom but also happy to be free at last." (Researcher's transcripts) She
claims she doesn't cry often, but if she does she goes to one of her sisters
and cries with her.

Her mother told her about the divorce "but only when I asked why we
didn't live with my Dad. She told me they had separated...I cried...I was
heartbroken. My other friends had united families and I felt that I was not
so lucky. I felt very different. I cried when I was alone but didn't show it
to her as I was too scared to hurt her...I feel the same now - I still feel
different. It's hard to talk about it." (Researcher's transcripts) She claims she
still cries quite often by herself

"I wasn't even really told. Dad moved out some years ago and I found
out about the divorce my own way. I actually heard my mom and sister
talking about it. My sister asked my mom if she really wanted to do it
and she said 'yes' and I moaned at her because she never told me and
since then we don't really talk about it...I didn't speak to my mom for a
few days after she told me...I was angry, then I felt hurt. At the time of
the interview she stated that she still feels 'a bit angry, hurt and confused."
(Researcher's transcripts) She claims to cry a lot "at night in bed."
 65

"Mom didn't tell me directly, she told me that the way things are going it's
better if my father and her don't live together anymore. She suggested he
stay and we go to my gran. My dad later told me directly that they were
divorcing. I think my mom didn't want to hurt me or something...After they
divorced, I did feel something...there's a gap there. Sometimes I felt that I
missed my dad even though I hated him. I hated him for the way he
treated my mom. It didn't hit me at first that they were divorced." She
believes that she's now accepted it. She claimed however that she does cry
but added "not a lot, but on the inside." (Researcher's transcripts) If she
does cry she stays in her room and cries alone.

"Mom told me she was leaving, and then I went to stay with my
grandmother. I chose to stay with my gran. I don't know why. I just felt
like it. She never actually told me they were separated, but I knew because
I always told her to do something...I felt angry towards my father and pity
for my mother." (Researcher's transcripts) She feels happy at present due to
the fact that her mother is much happier since the divorce.

"Mom said she was moving out. Dad got cross. He said if she moved out
she was a bad mother, so she stayed. But in April, I went away and when
I got back she told me she had found a flat and was moving. She first
told me about the divorce, she said she couldn't live with my dad anymore
and she hoped I understood and that she didn't do it because she didn't
love me...I didn't say anything, just sat there...it hadn't hit me yet...I
didn't feel much then." (Researcher's transcripts) She claims that when it did
`hit' her a week later she started to cry. When it sunk in she stated that "I
was pretty bad, I cried a lot and then I just detached myself from all
my friends, I didn't want to talk about it." (Researcher's transcripts) She
admitted to still crying often when she's alone in bed.

"I wasn't really told...my dad would often sleep in my room...(or) he went to his
father's house to sleep there...I don't think I actually understood what it meant."
(Researcher's transcripts)Later, however, she added that when she did realise
what it was all about then she claimed that "I'd often cry and go to my
sister. I suppose I was still angry at my mom." (Researcher's transcripts)At
the time of the interview she claimed that she no longer thinks of her
parents divorce.

It seems as if in most families the adolescents were told of the divorce by their
mother. Some children seemed to have guessed their parents were divorcing owing to
circumstances in their homes. The adolescent subjects mentioned experiencing a range
of different emotions when they were first told about their parents' divorce. Many said
that it had only 'hit' them later on what was actually happening. The feelings
expressed by the adolescents included feeling heartbroken, unlucky, angry, disbelief,
happy, sad, shock, pity (for mother), empty, hurt and confused.
 66

The strongest and most common amongst the various emotions that were mentioned
seemed to be anger in general, as well as anger at one or other parent - often the parent
who moved out of the house. Shock and disbelief were also common feelings
amongst the adolescents. It was established that four of the ten girls blamed
themselves or felt guilty at some stage after the divorce. It seems as though in many
cases the reality only set in some time after the actual news of the divorce and when the
reality hit home there seemed to, at times, be a stronger reaction than that given at the
moment when they were first told. Fifty percent of the subjects admitted to crying
often and generally they admitted that when they did cry it was when they were
alone.

5.3.3 Changes after the divorce

In terms of changes that occurred after the divorce, the following answers were given:

She claimed that things were harder due to the fact that her mother had to
pay for everything by herself. She added later however that at times things
were easier because her grandmother helped her mother financially.
(Researcher's transcripts)

"My brother changed. He was always very upset." She added that her
mother doesn't come home after work like she used to and that she misses
seeing her mother's car in the driveway. She concluded: "that's one of
those things that takes a long time to get used to." She also added that it
was difficult to have to ask parents separately for different things. She
felt one thing that had helped her during the time of change was "my Dad
telling me they were trying to get back together." (Researcher's transcripts)

"Mom couldn't handle it anymore so she moved to her mom's house, gran had to
move and go overseas for awhile...we stayed in her house...I had to bring B.
(father's girlfriend) and the girls into my life...I think I was a little bit
jealous...I get on slightly better with them now...I had to adapt my life to
their ways." She added that what helped during the divorce and
subsequent changes was the fact that "I always had support from my
family." (Researcher's transcripts)

"We moved, mom lost everything, mom used to be cheeky but now she's
calm and very serious. It's hard to make her laugh. She's the only
breadwinner, so she works very hard." She felt things were much harder for
her mother because she was "going to be alone", but she also added that
things would be easier for her "because there is peace in our home,
nobody's going to chase us out at 02h00 in the morning." (Researcher's
transcripts)
 67

"....the separation was always on my mind though...it was harder because my

mom was not able to get a job. Dad didn't provide enough maintenance."
(Researcher's transcripts)

"We just communicated less." She felt it was a difficult period for her
mother "because she had to look after all four of us, and she'd only just
started a job. It wasn't really much harder for me because I didn't really
understand it when he left. But I was jealous that my friends had fathers."
(Researcher's transcripts)

"Well at first I missed all my friends because we left the house. I didn't
have friends where we are, not like those at my parent's house. My
mom and sister and me went to my grandparents house and left my father
in the house." (Researcher's transcripts) She added that the friendship
between her and her father changed. "We didn't get along that well
anymore." She added that she would have liked to ask her parents various
questions about what was going on but she felt that they would wonder
why she was asking them and hence refrained from asking. She did get a
chance at a later stage, however, to find out the answers to her questions.

"My love for my father changed. I felt I didn't care for him and he wasn't a
good parent." (Researcher's transcripts) She added that things were easier at
home because she could concentrate on her studies.

"When mom moved out, I saw more of my dad. Mom was happier and dad spoke
a lot more...not that it was much." (Researcher's transcripts) She believed things
got harder after the divorce due to the fact that she had been so used to her
mother doing everything, and yet after the divorce she had to do the things
her mother used to do for her. She did feel her best friend helped her to
cope during the divorce and subsequent change.

What she felt was the hardest aspect to adjust to was that "there's only one
parent in the house...I only get to see my father once a weekend." (Researcher's
transcripts)

It is clear that only one subject experienced things getting easier after the divorce. It
was generally felt that things got much harder for various reasons. They seemed to
have noticed a variety of changes ranging from physical things such as a mothers
car not being in the driveway to financial difficulties and emotional aspects. ,

5.3.4 Living arrangements

Subjects were asked which parent they would prefer to live with and what it was
like living with a single parent. Below are the answers that were presented to the
researcher.
 68

no. 1: She feels she should live with both parents. She felt she should decide where she
lives and didn't think living with a single parent was a problem.

no. 2: "I want to live with my dad because I often used to think my mom and dad were
getting divorced and I'd go into a daydream and think I had to choose between my
mom and dad and I kept choosing my dad. It's weird." (Researcher's transcripts)
She felt she should decide where she should live and added "I found out you
have to be like over twelve to decide. I think any age should be able to decide
because my brother at times wants to go live with my mom." (Researcher's
transcripts) She stated that living with a single parent is "fine, not as many
cups of tea to make, but also weird." (Researcher's transcripts)

no. 3: She would prefer to live with her mother, although she added, "I sometimes
thought, no, my mom drives me mad and my brother's always hitting me. I'm
always bruised so I'm going to actually go to my dad. And then, I fight with my
dad and then sometimes I think to myself, well no, I don't want to live with L. and
K. (father's girlfriends children). I've always had a brother. I couldn't live with
sisters ... so I think it's best that I stay with my mom." (Researcher's transcripts)
In terms of where she should live she stated: "my mom and dad and me, we
should all decide together." She claims living with a single parent is "a bit better
in a way...my dad was always very strict...now my mom's very easy."
(Researcher's transcripts)

no. 4: She feels she should decide where she should live and enjoys staying with
her mother. She added that living with a single parent is "sometimes nice
because you get freedom to do what you want." (Researcher's transcripts)

no. 5: She claimed that she should live with both parents but added "my mom took
care of me from small until now so I feel going to live with my dad now would be
bad for my mom. My younger sister lives with my father." (Researcher's
transcripts) She claimed she's not really happy living where she is and added "I'd
rather be with my father. I talk to him when I go for the holidays. It's hard to
leave." She claims living with a single parent is "different because we were used
to both of them, now we're used to my mom." (Researcher's transcript)

no. 6: "I like South Africa, so I like living with my mom. I'm scared of changing and
going overseas. I would like it for education." (Researcher's transcripts) She
stated that she believes her parents can decide where she lives but "I wish they
would stay closer." She claims it is weird living with a single parent as "it's
quiet, not much conversation - we generally watch TV together." (Researcher's
transcripts)
 69

no. 7: She would like to stay with her mother and mentioned "my father is a type of
person who doesn't take responsibility. He chased my older sister out...with her
child." (Researcher's transcripts) She feels she should decide where she lives and
with whom and finds if different living with a single parent "because we were
used to both of them but then, not anymore because we're used to my
mother. My sister was young when it happened. She grew up without my
parents." (Researcher's transcript)

no. 8: She lives with her grandmother and is happy there. She claimed that she
wouldn't like to live with her mother as she is too strict. She stated "it's okay to
live with a single parent." (Researcher's transcripts)

no. 9: She would like to live with her mother but she is based with her father. She lives
in the hostel during the week and spends one night of the weekend with her mother
and one night with her father. She claims it is "okay" to live with a single parent
"because if you ask if you can do something they say okay - but it's still
horrible, better to have them together." (Researcher's transcripts)

no. 10: She felt that she should live with her mother and is happy living there. She claimed
that "mom always said that if I want to go there (to her dad), fine then I can go
with my father. But personally, I don't think it's my right to say who I want to live
with ... I like living with my mom. Although we don't get on - it's just better that
way." (Researcher's transcripts) She believes living with a single parent is tough
because "there's not two cars, I've got to make a plan of my own." (Researcher's
transcripts)

When asked with whom subjects felt they should live the majority (60%) felt they
should live with their mother. Two of the ten subjects claimed that they would
ideally like to live with both parents. One mentioned she would like to live with
her grandmother and another claimed she would prefer to live with her father.
Generally it seemed as if the subjects were living with the parent they wanted to
live with.

When asked who they felt should decide where they live it was almost unanimous
(80%) that the subjects themselves felt they should decide. One subject claimed her
parents should decide while another felt it should be a decision between both her
parents and herself. Although all the subjects commented on which parent they
would rather live with if they had to chose, two subjects stated that they would
prefer it if their parents were still together.

5.3.5 Sources of support

When the adolescents were asked who had given them the most support, whether
they had spoken to anyone in depth about the divorce and whether knowing other
 70

people whose parents were divorced had been helpful at all in terms of support,
the following answers were given:

She claimed her mother and her aunt gave her the most support. "They
told me that I must not feel worried because it will hurt me and I will get
nervous." (Researcher's transcripts) At first she couldn't remember knowing
anyone else whose parents were divorced but later she did remember
knowing one girl and she claimed that "it helped because she told me her
parents divorced when she was two years old and her father doesn't support
them." (Researcher's transcripts) The subject admitted, however, that she
had never spoken to anyone about the divorce in the same detail as she
had spoken to the researcher.

Her father gave her the most support. "Every second weekend he drives
me back to school...so we have an hour long talk the whole way back."
(Researcher's transcripts) She claimed that she knew a few people whose
parents were divorced. She said "it helped knowing their parents were
divorced....it helps to know if something happens. I could go tell one of
them because they know what it feels like." (Researcher's transcripts) She
claimed that she had never spoken to anyone, other than her friends, about
the divorce.

"I had support from my family. 100% from my family. My grandparents,

my aunts, uncles, cousins, everything. I was lifted up by them."
(Researcher's transcripts) She also claimed to have received much support
from both her mother and her father. She knew many girls at school whose
parents were divorced. She stated " I didn't really speak to many of them
because their parents got divorced when they were about three. Most of
them don't really remember it." (Researcher's transcripts) She did add,
however, "the ones whose parents are divorced, they did give me a lot of
support now. They know what it is like." (Researcher's transcripts) She
added that she had never discussed the divorce with anyone in the same
detail as she had discussed it with the interviewer.

Her mother and her sister gave her the most support. "I could talk to
them about everything." (Researcher's transcripts) She has a best friend
whose parents are divorced. "Her parents divorced after mine." She claimed
that it helped to talk to her friend as they could help each other. She
claimed that she had never spoken to anyone about the divorce prior to
speaking to the researcher and added "I never wanted to talk to anybody
before. At first I didn't like it. I didn't want to talk, but I thought it might be best
to talk to you (the researcher)." (Researcher's transcripts)

Her mother gave her the most support and she denies knowing anyone else
whose parents are divorced. She added that she has never spoken to
 71

anyone about her parents' divorce in the same in-depth manner as she
discussed it with the researcher.

Her boyfriend and one of her close guy friends gave her the most
support. She mentioned that one of her friends' parents were divorced, but
that she had moved to England. "I don't really know anyone else."
(Researcher's transcripts) She added that she had never discussed her
parents' divorce with anyone.

Her boyfriend gave her the most support. She knew other girls whose
parents were divorced and mentioned that she felt the following: "I think it
helps because if you don't know there are others who have the same
problem as you do, then it's like you're the only one there, feeling no-
one else has the same problems as you do." (Researcher's transcripts) She
claimed that she has never spoken to anyone about the divorced in the
same detail as she spoke to the researcher.

Her mother gave her the most support. "She comforted us, told us it would
be okay." (Researcher's transcripts) She knew a few friends whose parents
were divorced but she didn't feel that knowing had helped in any way in
terms of support. She claims to have discussed her parents divorce and
how it affected her with someone at a clinic.

"My best friend helped me. She made me cope. She was there for me
when I needed her. She gave me the most support." (Researcher's
transcripts) She claimed that all her friend's parents are divorced and then
added "well, most of my hostel friends." In terms of whether it helped she
stated that "It didn't really phase me." Later, however she added "maybe it
helped a little bit." (Researcher's transcripts) She mentioned that she had
never discussed her parents' divorce in detail with anyone prior to
discussing it with the researcher.

"I'm sure someone helped. I don't actually know." (Researcher's transcripts)

She didn't know anyone else whose parents were divorced. She added that
once in the past she had discussed some problems surrounding the divorce
and other issues with a counselor at the 702 Crisis Centre.

When asked who had given them the most support, four respondents stated their
mothers had provided the most support; two claimed their fathers gave the most
support; one mentioned a best friend, while two others felt their boyfriends had
given the most support. One subject claimed she couldn't remember any one
individual giving support.

Of all the subjects interviewed, 50% did know other people whose parents were divorced.
Of the girls who did know others who'd been through a divorce, many felt that it did help
 72

to talk about their experiences to someone who really understood. Others felt, however,
that if their friends' parents' divorce wasn't recent then they didn't really understand
that well.

Seven of the ten subjects (70%) claimed they had never spoken to anyone about
their parents' divorce in the same detail as they had to the researcher. A few
subjects mentioned having talked to friends or boyfriends about the divorce, but
many claimed that they had never discussed so many different aspects of the
divorce with anyone. Almost all the subjects (90%) stated later that they felt it
had helped them to talk about their parents' divorce in the detail they had with
the researcher. Two subjects mentioned having talked to someone but it was a
once off occurrence - one mentioned that she had spoken to someone at the 702
Crisis Centre but she felt it hadn't helped much, the other mentioned she'd spoken
to someone at a crisis centre and that it wasn't specifically about the divorce.

5.4 Friends and peer group

Mitchell (1985) and Wallerstein and Kelly (1980) found that girls used their friends
more readily as support systems after parental divorce. Mitchell (1985) claims that
when children confided in friends they found sharing the experience and being
aware that they were not alone in their predicament to be most helpful. In some
cases children have disengaged themselves from their own families and become
more involved in their peer group or attached themselves to another family or
friend.

5.4.1 Peer group

Subjects were asked about their peer group and whether they had the same
amount of friends before the divorce as they did afterwards. The answers were as
follows:

"I've got many friends. A big group of friends. We play together."

(Researcher's transcripts) She claimed her friends didn't treat her any
differently after her parents' divorce. She claimed she had fewer friends
before the divorce than afterwards. Like many of the other girls, one of the
first people she told about her parents' divorce was a friend.

She claimed that she spends most of her spare time with one friend whose
timetable is the same as hers, but she also has a group of friends with
whom she spends time. She did feel a bit different to her peers after her
parents divorced "because their parents weren't divorced recently...and
because I'm the youngest girl in the hostel." (Researcher's transcripts) She
also added that her friends treated her differently after her parents' divorce.
She claimed one friend wouldn't mention things that she did with her family
and another friend was protective over her in that she told others "not to
 73

speak about family things for a while." She believes she has made more
friends since the divorce and believes this is due to the fact that "when it
happened all these girls who weren't really my friends came closer to my
friends because they knew what I was feeling. They came to see if they
could help out." (Researcher's transcripts) She admitted that the first person
she told about the divorce was her best friend and added that "she was
very understanding." (Researcher's transcripts)

She spends time with a group of girls at school as well as "friends out of
school that (I've) grown up with." (Researcher's transcripts) She believes they
all "supported her quite a lot." She added that people did treat her
differently and she believes "maybe it was because I wasn't much fun to be
around. I now realise my true friends were obviously the ones who really
stood by me and even when I was upset or happy, they were always my
friends." (Researcher's transcripts) She has always had the same number of
friends and she admitted that the first person she actually told about her
parents' divorce was a friend at school.

She spends most of her spare time with both a group of her school friends
as well as with her best friend. She claims she feels different to her friends
at school when they talk about their fathers. She believes she's made
more friends since her parents' divorced than she had before and that the
first person she told about her parents divorce was her best friend. "I told
her my parents were separated and she was very comforting and tried to
make me forget about everything." (Researcher's transcripts)

She spends time with a group of friends: "Six of us spend time together."
She claims she has the same friends since the divorce, but added that she
never told any of them about her parents' divorce. She finds it very hard
"when others talk about their parents." (Researcher's transcripts)

"I used to see a lot of my one friend but recently we had a fight. I see
L. a lot. He's in the same standard as me...and I see my boyfriend every
day. I have mainly guy-friends, not many girlfriends." (Researcher's
transcripts) She claimed that she didn't have many friends before the divorce
occurred: "I didn't socialise with many people, but now I have quite a
few." She admits that her boyfriend was the first person she told about her
parents' divorce. "It was weird. He was going through the same thing; he
understood me." (Researcher's transcripts) She felt it helped to share it with
someone.

"I actually don't have friends (at school), only my boyfriend and my mom.
Those are my friends because I had a problem with friends in the past.
They got me into trouble. I broke my virginity..." (Researcher's transcripts)
She added that she has two good friends out of school who she sees about
 74

once a month. She felt that she had more friends before her parents
divorced due to the fact that she moved schools and at her present school,
she has no friends. She claimed that she felt different at school. She stated
"It's like, why you?" Her boyfriend was the first person she told about her
parents' divorce. "I was pretty relieved. I had all those things in me. I
realised then that if you have something inside, it suffocates you. If you
like, spit it out, you become better." (Researcher's transcripts)

"I've got two best friends and a group of friends." (Researcher's transcripts)
She's always had the same friends and claimed that she didn't tell any of
them about her. parents divorce when they were divorcing. She added,
however, that "they know now." (Researcher's transcripts)

"I have lots of friends, a big group." (Researcher's transcripts) She also has
a best friend. She felt her friends "treated me well, they weren't horrible or
anything, they were so nice to me - that irritated me, because they weren't
like they normally are, not that they were horrible." (Researcher's
transcripts) She's always had about the same amount of friends and she
claimed that the first person she confided in that her parents were
divorcing was her "best friend...I felt better but I don't like talking about it.
I didn't want to really." (Researcher's transcripts)

"I work over weekends so whenever I finish , I go out with my friends

that I work with." (Researcher's transcripts) She also has a best friend who
she has known for 6 years. They work together in a restaurant. She claims
she's always had about the same number of friends. She claims that at the
time of the divorce she thinks she "isolated herself from everyone...I felt
confused....I thought I was a freak." (Researcher's transcripts)

The majority of subjects, eight out of the ten, claimed that they spend most of
their time with a group of friends, generally friends they attend school with. One
subject claimed she has guy-friends she spends most of her time with and only one
subject mentioned that she has no friends at school but does spend most of her
time with her boyfriend and some friends that she sees on weekends occasionally.

Some of the subjects (40%) had noted that their friends had reacted differently to
them after the divorce. One mentioned it was because she "wasn't much fun to
be around..." When asked if the subjects in fact felt different to their friends in
any way they replied almost unanimously (70%) that they did not at any time feel
any different. Two claimed they had felt different especially when their friends
spoke about their fathers and one mentioned that although she knew many other
girls whose parents were divorced she felt different because her parents had
recently divorced whereas the other parents had divorced when the girls were
much younger.
 75

Most subjects felt they had about the same amount of friends before the divorce
as they did after. One claimed that the divorce had simply shown her who her
real friends were. Two subjects believed they had more friends before the divorce
than after and two others believed they had more friends after the divorce than
before. Reasons for this may be that people were sympathetic and more
understanding of the individual going through the divorce.

Fifty percent of the adolescents who were interviewed claimed that after they had
heard the news about the divorce the first person they generally told was a close
friend, often someone at school with them. Of the other five girls, two had never
actually told anyone, two had told their boyfriends before telling anyone else and
the last one had told an aunt whom she was close to. When one considers that a
boyfriend is often considered to be a close friend it would strongly suggest that
of the ten girls, seven mentioned telling a friend first about the divorce.

5.4.2 Changes experienced within adolescents' peer group after the divorce

Subjects were asked whether they had felt a number of feelings, such as being
rejected, feeling shy or being laughed at by their peer group. The table below
highlights what they said.
 76

TABLE 2

subject Reject laughed not shy? being like restless Lonely Bullied
ed at? part of cruel to arguing and and b)
others? a lot unable sad others
a
to
group conecnt
rate

The table above sums up the most common feelings felt by the adolescent subjects
with regards to their peer group and generally. What seems to stand out from the
above table is the fact that the majority (70%) of the adolescents felt they have
never felt bullied by others, however, seven of the ten individuals did sometimes
feel left out of a group. Seventy percent also claimed they often felt shy and five
of the ten subjects admitted to often feeling lonely and sad.

5.5 School and academic performance

Literature presented in previous chapters has highlighted that children from divorced
homes often experience a drop in their academic performance and present more
discipline problems at school. Lauer and Lauer (1991) claim that lower academic
self-concepts, more absences, lower spelling, math and reading scores and a greater
number of behaviour problems are to be expected from many children experiencing
parental divorce. Kelly (1980) also noted a drop in concentration at school and
 77

Buchanan, Maccoby and Dornbucsh (1991) claim that many adolescents from
divorced households bunk school more often, cheat in tests and copy homework.
In the section below, the academic and school performance and behaviours of the
subjects in the present study are presented.

5.5.1 Academic performance

no. 1: She stated that she achieves "high marks - A's and B's." (Researcher's
transcripts) She has always got good marks and claims to enjoy school. "The
subjects are good...you meet friends that you didn't meet because they
may stay far away...I don't want to play too much because if I play too
much, I will be slow in my school work." (Researcher's transcripts)

no. 2: She admits that her marks have dropped since her parents' divorce. "Last
year I got 80% in everything except maths, I got 93%. This term I got
45% for maths." (Researcher's transcripts) She enjoys school, but feels "it
goes on far too long." (Researcher's transcripts)

no. 3: "Well this term they've been very bad. Very, very bad. Probably my worst ...
45% average ... When I was younger I used to be quite bright whereas I've sort of
gone down I think ... I'll keep trying very hard." (Researcher's transcripts) She
dislikes school intensely, especially because of all the homework but feels
one good aspect of it is that she sees her friends.

no. 4: "They went down this term because I was worried about my mother, she was sick,
but I got C's and D's last term, but usually B's. Before the divorce I was doing
better. I got A's and B's." (Researcher's transcripts) She enjoys school very
much, especially the sport.

no. 5: She admitted getting "good marks. A's and B's. But in Std 6 I got C's."
(Researcher's transcripts). She enjoys school and added "I like the friends
I've got and some subjects." (Researcher's transcripts) She also admitted that
what she likes least are some subjects and some people at school.

no. 6: In the last term she got a "51% average. I know I can do better. In primary
school I got 70's and 80's. In Std 3-5, 60's and 70's. In high school they
dropped." (Researcher's transcripts) She likes school as it's a time when she
can "be with her friends." She likes her teachers the least, however, and
feels the subjects choices in Std.8 are the best thing about school at
present.

no. 7: Lately she has obtained C's and D's. Before the divorce she achieved A's.
Since Std 7 she feels her marks have dropped. "I sometimes lost concentration
in class, thinking about what my mom was doing and about my father."
(Researcher's transcripts) She claimed that she "did like school a lot, but I
 78

began to hate it this year." (Researcher's transcripts) She feels it is good in

that it "keeps you out of trouble", but she dislikes all the work, especially
now that she's in matric.

no. 8: Lately she has been achieving C's and D's but she added that her results "in
Std 6 and 7 were better." (Researcher's transcripts) She dislikes school
intensely.

no. 9: She usually gets a C average but added "they've dropped lately in Matric. I
just don't work. I just couldn't be bothered. In a way I feel it's like getting back
at my parents, but I also just have no motivation to work." (Researcher's
transcripts) She dislikes school, especially her teachers but feels that one
redeeming point is being with her friends.

no. 10: She claimed her marks were "okay, they're not that bad - E's. They've always
been like this - in the average. Usually in the fourth term, I think when it comes to
exams and stuff, I study extra hard which pushes my average up to a high B."
(Researcher's transcripts) She dislikes school as she finds it boring. "It
doesn't excite me." She enjoys drama however.

In terms of the subjects academic performance they all seemed to be fairly high
achieving pupils - 20% mentioned getting A's and B's; 10% mentioned getting B's
and C's; five of the ten subjects admitted getting mostly C's and D's; only one
subject mentioned getting E's and one admitted to doing very badly in the last
term (45%) although she claimed that in the past she had always done quite well.
It seemed as if in the latter girl's case, the divorce had recently become a reality
to her and she was definitely struggling with certain issues which may have had
an impact on her school work.

Eight out of the ten subjects (80%) admitted to obtaining better results before the
divorce than to after the divorce. One subject put this down to the fact that she
"lost concentration, thinking about what my mom was doing and about my
father." Only one subject felt she was doing better at school after the divorce and
the another felt her marks had remained the same. Six subjects claimed they enjoy
school while four mentioned that they didn't. It seemed as though the four girls
who didn't like school were in Std 9 and 10 and one could possibly speculate
that their dislike of school was possibly due to the pressure of matric and the
amount of work they were having to cope with.
 79

5.5.2 School behaviour and attendance

Subjects were asked a number of questions concerning their school attendance and
school behaviour recently. The table below presents the answers that were given
under various headings.

TABLE 3

Bunked
school

no

no

yes

no

no

yes

no

no

yes

yes

Only one of the ten adolescents had stayed back a standard and none of the girls
had ever failed at school. Five admitted to having bunked school or classes at
least once, while the other five claimed that they had never bunked school. Six of
the ten subjects mentioned that they had never copied anyone else's homework or
cheated in a test, whilst four subjects admitted they had cheated in the past or
copied other people's homework. Three girls admitted to copying from friends but
never cheating in a test, and one subject mentioned having done both. None of
the girls claimed to have problems at school and only two admitted to ever
getting into trouble at school. None of the girls claimed to have ever stolen
anything valuable. These questions were quite difficult for the subjects to answer
at times and many checked again whether the interview was confidential. Social
 80

acceptability of the answers may have played a role in some of the answers given
by the subjects.

5.5.3 Teacher support

Subjects were asked about their relationships with their teachers and whether they
had felt their teachers had helped them at all during their parents' divorce.

no. 1: "I get on well with them because I don't want them to be sad." (Researcher's
transcripts) She knows they know about the divorce because her mother told
them.

no. 2: "Ya, quite well; they do know." (Researcher's transcripts) She claims they did
help: "They were very helpful." (Researcher's transcripts)

no. 3: She gets on with some of her teachers and thinks some of them know about the
divorce. She claimed that her teacher last year was very supportive: "She sorted
out all the fights that we had in class. You know with my friends not wanting to
be my friends when I was unhappy." (Researcher's transcripts)

no. 4: She gets on with her teachers and one of them knows about the divorce.

no. 5: She gets on with her teachers and doesn't think any of them know about the
divorce.

no. 6: "I get on with them ... one teacher I can't stand." (Researcher's transcripts) She
feels that, except for one teacher, nobody else knows about her parents'
divorce, except for one. None of them helped because she never wanted them to
know.

no 7.: She gets on with her teachers. They don't know about the divorce and never
helped.

no. 8: She doesn't get on with all of her teachers. Her principal knows about her
parents' divorce but none of her teachers have helped at all.

no.9: She doesn't get on with her teachers and claims it's because "they're adults."
(Researcher's transcripts) She thinks they know about the divorce but no-one
helped.

no. 10: She gets on with some of her teachers. They know about her parents' divorce but
none of her teachers helped at all.

Out of the ten subjects, five felt they got on with their teachers whilst one felt
she did not and the other four admitted to only getting on with some of their
 81

teachers. Forty percent of the subjects believed their teachers knew about their
parents' divorce; two claimed their teachers didn't know and four felt that only
one teacher or the school principal knew.

It seemed almost unanimous, with the exception of two respondents, that teachers
had not helped or been at all supportive during the parental divorce or afterwards.
Two girls felt quite strongly about the fact that there was one teacher who had
helped greatly at the time of divorce.

5.6 Somatic symptoms, physical health and social activities

Morawetz and Walker (1984) claim that children of divorce can be expected to
have more health problems. Barber and Eccles (1992) noted that they display more
deviant behaviour than children from two-parent families and this is supported in
research by Buchanan, et al. (1991) who noted that many adolescents from
divorced homes had engaged in many of the following in the past year: smoking
cigarettes, smoking dagga, drinking alcohol, copying homework, cheating in tests
and bunking class. Adolescents from divorced homes are also more likely to be
involved in substance abuse if the divorce occurred during adolescence (Doherty &
Needle, 1990) and they have also been found to have negative attitudes to
marriage (Barber & Eccles, 1992)

5.6.1 Adolescent functioning after the divorce

Adolescents were asked about their physical health, their eating habits and their
social activities. The following answers were given:

She claims that she gets headaches when she's sick and doesn't get
stomach aches. She eats normally and claims she never diets or engages in
bingeing and vomiting. She enjoys watching TV as well as playing netball,
tennis and athletics.

She gets headaches quite often and gets stomach aches when she's stressed
as she suffers from a spastic colon. She claims to eat normally but added
that she eats "a little less than others because I don't like the food very
much (in the hostel)." (Researcher's transcripts) She doesn't diet, binge or
vomit up her food. Her hobbies are reading, writing stories and swimming.

She gets headaches frequently but is unsure why. She denies getting
frequent stomach aches. She eats healthily "except for sweets." She denies
any bulimic symptoms and claims to have "been on diets, but they've never
worked." (Researcher's transcripts) She enjoys doing aerobics, ice skating,
horse riding and playing sport: "I swim, run and play tennis." (Researcher's
transcripts)
 82

She gets stomach aches often and is unsure why. She used to get
headaches because of her eyes but now she only gets occasional
headaches when she goes in the sun. She has normal eating habits and she
denies any dieting, bingeing or vomiting. She enjoys going to movies, going
out with her friends and reading novels. She plays hockey and enjoys watching
TV. Her favourite hobby is reading and she has done a bit of modeling in the past.

She often gets stomach aches for no reason, but denies frequent headaches.
She doesn't eat breakfast, but has lunch at school and supper at home.
She denies ever dieting, bingeing or vomiting. She enjoys listening to
music, going to movies, watching TV and collecting posters.

"Lately I've had quite a few headaches." (Researcher's transcripts) She

takes painkillers to relieve the pain. She feels they could be caused by her
poor eating habits and stress at school. She doesn't suffer from stomach
aches. She stated: "I have bad eating habits...constantly eating sweets and I
could improve on that and stop eating sweets." (Researcher's transcripts) She
starves herself as an attempt to lose weight. "I don't eat breakfast or lunch,
just supper. I'm often just not hungry." (Researcher's transcripts) She denies
any bulimia. She enjoys watching movies and videos and she has recently
started playing chess. She collects posters and looks after her pet fish.

She does not eat a lot as she "wants to lose weight." (Researcher's
transcript) She has engaged in bingeing and vomiting in the past as well as
taking laxatives for a period of time. Now she prefers to starve herself
"actually I limit myself ..for breakfast I drink tea and after school, two
slices of bread. I don't eat supper or if I do, just fruit or something light."
(Researcher's transcripts) She gets headaches often and she occasionally has
stomach aches which she feels may be caused by her poor eating habits.
She enjoys watching TV and jogging. She doesn't play sport at school as she
claims she has no time to practice as she is too busy after school doing homework.
She does, however enjoy reading in her free time and plays tennis and does
karate during her holidays.

She only gets headaches and stomach aches when she's sick. Her eating
habits are "normal." She denies dieting and any bulimic practices. She enjoys
going to "movies and parties with friends." (Researcher's transcripts) Last year
she played Jukskei and she enjoys reading and watching TV if she doesn't have
homework to do.

"I eat less than I used to. I don't eat breakfast and I hardly eat lunch. I
don't have an appetite any more...I don't go on diet. I just don't eat...to
lose weight." (Researcher's transcripts) She denies any bulimia. She suffers
from a spastic colon and hence gets frequent stomach aches. She doesn't
get headaches often. She enjoys going out with friends and playing hockey.
 83

no.10: "My mom says I need help because I'm very weight conscious. I see
myself as getting fat and my mother thinks I'm crazy because she says
I'm not getting fat. I just watch what I eat and don't tend to eat junk...I
found these pills (diet pills) that my mom took...so I kind of took them...it
has messed up my metabolism badly...at the beginning of this year I had
malnutrition and I lost a lot of weight....I want to lose more...If I know I
eat too much, I feel guilty so I just go to the bathroom and bring it up."
(Researcher's transcripts) She denies getting headaches or stomach aches
often. She enjoys going out with friends and reading. She does dancing at
school and her hobbies include singing and writing poetry.

Fifty percent of the subjects admitted to having frequent headaches. Many were
not sure what the cause was and one felt it may be due to her eating patterns.
Six of the ten claimed they had frequent stomach aches. Two of the six
mentioned having a spastic colon which they both claimed gets worse when they
are stressed or worried. The other girls were unable to assess what causes their
stomach aches.

Of the ten subjects, five mentioned having normal eating habits and having never
taken diet pills, binged or vomited. The other five girls were fairly weight
conscious and were either on diet or watching their weight carefully. Of the five
girls who were more weight conscious, two of the five have been bulimic at some
time prior to the interview if not still at the time of the interview. The other
eight girls claimed that they had never been bulimic or taken laxatives in the past.

The adolescent girls seemed to do a range of different things in their free time.
Most popular ways of having fun seemed to be playing sport, spending time with
friends or watching TV or movies. They all mentioned that they usually do these
things with their friends or relatives. Only three of the ten girls claimed they don't
play sport, but one mentioned doing ballet and dance instead. The majority of the
girls (60%) claimed they enjoy watching TV. Others felt they watch occasionally
and this was generally due to the fact that they had a lot of homework and
found little free time to watch TV.

The adolescent subjects also mentioned having various different hobbies, the most
popular ones being reading, playing sport and collecting posters.

5.6.2 Substance abuse

no. 1: She claims she has never smoked cigarettes or dagga, nor drunk alcohol.

no. 2: Denies any substance abuse.

no. 3: Denies any substance abuse.

 84

no. 4: Denies any substance abuse.

no. 5: Denies any substance abuse.

no. 6: In answer to whether she'd tried drugs, she stated " No, I don't want to .. it
scares me... I never will. My boyfriend told me about it and it sounds terrible."
(Researcher's transcripts) She claims she smokes cigarettes. She began about 4
months ago but feels she doesn't smoke much. She has also tried alcohol but she
doesn't drink often. "If they offer me, I may have one drink, but that's
occasionally." (Researcher's transcripts)

no. 7: Denies any substance abuse.

no. 8: Denies any substance abuse.

no. 9: She denies smoking dagga but claims she drinks alcohol. "Beer, Malibu (this
coconut stuff) and Schnapps. I don't know, everything, just not Tequila or
Sambucca." (Researcher's transcripts) She claims she drinks about "four beers
and two malibus" when she goes out and then she feels drunk. She also smokes
cigarettes on weekends.

no. 10: She admits to smoking cigarettes. "I first tried it in std. 6 and I didn't like it and
then Std 7, I'd like have a puff here and there. All my friends smoke."
(Researcher's transcripts) She admits to drinking alcohol "Well I work in a bar, I
mean, I get free drinks, so..." (Researcher's transcripts) She denies ever getting
drunk but may get "tipsy". She's tried dagga and smokes it occasionally with
friends. She hasn't tried any other drugs however.

Only two of the ten subjects admitted to drinking alcohol regularly on the
weekends, another claimed to drink occasionally when she goes out with her
friends and the other seven girls denied drinking alcohol. Eight subjects denied
smoking cigarettes and claimed that they have never tried, while two subjects
admitted that they do smoke regularly. Only one of the ten subjects admitted to
smoking dagga occasionally with friends, the other girls all denied ever having
tried it.

5.6.3 Intimate relationships

no. 1: She doesn't have a boyfriend and stated "I don't want a boyfriend because I'm
too young." (Researcher's transcripts) She would speak to her mother if she
had a problem with a male and she claimed she would like to get married
one day.
 85

no. 2: She doesn't have a boyfriend but feels as comfortable with boys as she
does with girls. She would discuss any problems with males with her father
or older female cousin and she would like to get married one day.

no. 3: She doesn't have a boyfriend at present and she did add that she has had a
few boyfriends in the past. She denies being sexually active. She claimed that
she feels very "casual around boys" and states that "all my family friends are boys,
most of them so I've always grown up with boys... I really feel comfortable."
(Researcher's transcripts) She would confide in her sister if she had a
problem with a male and she would like to get married one day.

no. 4: She doesn't have a boyfriend and she admitted to feeling shy around boys and
doesn't have many male friends. She'd speak to her mom if she had a
problem or question about a guy and she does want to get married one
day

no. 5: She stated that she doesn't mind being around boys, but that she hasn't had a
boyfriend. She would speak to her friends if she had a problem with a
male. She's unsure about whether she wants to get married and stated "I
haven't thought about it." (Researcher's transcripts)

no. 6: She has a boyfriend who she's been seeing for over 2 years. She stated that she
"relates better to boys. I communicate better with them." (Researcher's
transcripts) If she had a problem with a guy she would speak to her girl
friends. She claims she doesn't want to get married: " I don't want kids. I'm
too scared because I don't like punishing kids or saying no. I'm also scared that if I
get married I'll get divorced and I don't want that. If I get married, it has to be
for love, not money or anything" (Researcher's transcripts)

no. 7: She has a boyfriend but stated that she doesn't feel relaxed around men in
general. She stated "these boys at school, they like girls and want to kiss them
and I don't like that." (Researcher's transcripts) She mentioned feeling
skeptical about boys as she got into a bad crowd and lost her virginity in
Std. 7. If she had a problem with a guy she'd discuss it with her mother
or her uncle. She would like to get married one day.

no. 8: She doesn't have a boyfriend but she has had one in the past. They went
out for two years and she denies being sexually active. She claimed that she feels
"okay" around boys. "I have a lot of friends who are boys and male cousins too. I
get on well with them. I don't feel different." (Researcher's transcripts) If she
had a problem with a male she would confide in her mother or "if it's
intimate, I'd ask a boy at school who is my friend or my cousin." (Researcher's
transcripts) She claimed that she hasn't thought about marriage yet.
 86

no. 9: She doesn't have a boyfriend but admitted she had one last year. She feels "a
bit shy" around boys but added that around her male friends she feels okay. She
would speak to her brother if she had a problem with a guy and she
claimed that she doesn't want to get married " because then you just get
divorced...probably because you get married too young or don't love each other..
and then you just get divorced." (Researcher's transcripts)

no. 10: She's had quite a few boyfriends. She's been seeing her present boyfriend for
two months. She stated: "I've always been very comfortable talking to boys. I've
never had a problem. Both boys and girls." (Researcher's transcripts) If she did
have a problem however she'd speak to her "girlfriend at school." In terms
of marriage she stated, "I don't know....the career I'm going into, if I do ever
decide to get married, I don't think I'd spend much time at home. Because I just
want to perform and perform (drama)." (Researcher's transcripts)

Seven of the subjects (70%) claimed they didn't have a boyfriend at the time of
the interview. Three mentioned that they were in relationships and these were, in
two cases, quite long-standing relationships. Two subjects who claimed they did not
have a boyfriend at the time of interview did mention having relationships in the
past. One of the subjects admitted to being sexually active. Two subjects felt shy
in the company of boys but the others all seemed to be fairly relaxed. Generally
the adolescents felt that if they had a problem or question about a guy they would
primarily speak to their friends about it (40%); three mentioned they'd speak to
their mothers and the rest claimed they would speak to a sibling. Only one felt
she'd ask her father's advice. Fifty percent of the subjects claimed they do want
to get married, three claimed they hadn't really thought about it and the final two
mentioned they did not want to get married for reasons given above.

5.7 Religion

Berman (1991) noted that children from divorced homes often turn to religion for
its promise of safety and stability that they so desperately want and need. They
find religious commitment and practice helpful in their effort to achieve balance in
their lives after parental divorce.

The ten subjects who were interviewed were from various religious backgrounds,
the most common being Roman Catholic. Below is a list of the various religions
and how many of the ten children came from each religion:

Christian 3
Catholic 4
Methodist 1
Apostolic 1
Jewish 1
 87

5.7.1 Religion as a support after parental divorce

Subjects were asked about their church or shul attendance and whether they had
felt their religion helped them at all during the time of their parents' divorce.

no. 1: She stated the following about her church attendance: "We go on Wednesday
evening and Sunday." (Researcher's transcripts) She goes with her entire family
but added "everybody goes to church except my father because we're not in the
same church." (Researcher's transcripts) She feels her religion didn't help any
more or less than usual at the time of the divorce.

no. 2: She doesn't go to church but prays often. She admitted that her religion did help
her at the time of her parents' divorce.

no. 3: She attends church regularly with her mother and sometimes her father. "My
Dad is Presbyterian but he's just starting to go to church now. I think he probably
feels guilty." (Researcher's transcripts) She believes her religion helped her at
the time of her parents' divorce and added "I think especially now that I've
got this anger. I started to get quite a lot closer to God and I never used to pray all
the time you know but now I do. I try my best to pray every night." (Researcher's
transcripts)

no. 4: She attends church on Sunday with her sister and her mother. She felt her
religion helped her and stated that she "used to pray that it didn't get worse."
(Researcher's transcripts) She added that she did blame God when her dad
started drinking and hitting her mother and she felt God wasn't answering her
prayers.

no. 5: She goes to church "about once or twice a month...I go alone or with that
grandmother who taught me." (Researcher's transcripts) She feels her religion
has helped her but she did feel angry at God when her parents first separated.

no. 6: She stated the following in terms of church attendance: "I'm actually a bit
lazy about that. A friend asked me to go to Catechism but the problem is getting
there and back because my mom doesn't like driving at night. I used to go to
church when I was younger... I pray a lot - I think I have good communication
with God." (Researcher's transcripts) She believes her religion helped "very
much" when her parents divorced.

no. 7: She attends church with her mother. "I go to church when I'm at home ... I
don't actually live with my parents. I live with some people... if I'm here, I go
with them because they're both Christian. She claimed her religion helped "very
much. I prayed a lot." (Researcher's transcripts)
 88

no. 8: She goes to church alone on Sundays "and some Saturdays if there's a Youth
Group." (Researcher's transcripts) She felt praying helped "a little. I prayed
during the separation." (Researcher's transcripts)

no. 9: She attends church "every now and then with my mom" (Researcher's
transcripts) She doesn't feel her religion helped at all and blamed God. "I said to
everyone that obviously God has done this for a reason or that sort of thing."
(Researcher's transcripts) She did add that she does still pray even though she
felt angry at God.

no. 10: "I work on Fridays and Saturday so I don't go to Shul. I go to Shul twice a
year... I go with my brother and my mom." (Researcher's transcripts) She
doesn't believe her religion helped her at all during the time of her parents'
divorce.

Six of the ten subjects claim they go to church on a regular basis, one claimed
she goes occasionally, two mentioned not going to church and one subject claimed
she only goes to Shul twice a year. Of the seven subjects who do go to church
both regularly and occasionally, four claimed they go with their mothers, one
mentioned going alone, and the other two claimed they go with the rest of their
family.

Seven of the subjects, both regular church attendees and not, claimed that they
had felt that their faith in God helped them during the time of parental divorce.
Two subjects felt their religion didn't help at all and one believed it hadn't helped
any more or any less than it had in the past. Of the two subjects who believed
religion hadn't helped them, one claimed she blamed God for what had happened
and the other felt that He wasn't answering her prayers.

5.8 Conclusion

5.8.1 Recommendations and suggestions from the subjects

Subjects were asked whether they had any suggestions or recommendations for
other adolescents whose parents were divorcing or for divorced parents. They gave
the following suggestions:

She believes that it is important that parents tell their children about the divorce
when the family are all together.

She suggested that parents should not talk about each other to their children. She
added that in her case "Mom tells me everything that's wrong with Dad and vice
versa." (Researcher's transcripts) She also feels that it is important for both
parents to tell all their children together. She suggested that other teenagers who
 89

go through parental divorce should "talk, not hold it in." and she added that she
feels crying also helps a lot.

She suggested that parents shouldn't act as if they are getting on when in fact they
are not as the divorce then comes as a shock to the children involved. She also
added that in her case she feels that her brother and her "should have stood by
each other more because I think maybe that would have helped us."
(Researcher's transcripts) She added that adolescents experiencing parental
divorce should "pray and turn to religion" because she feels it benefited her and
she added that talking also helped.

She would have liked her parents to tell her when they were going to court so she
could have said good-bye to her father. She hasn't seen him since that day. She
suggested that teenagers experiencing parental divorce should have "somebody
there for them, to discuss problems. Children mustn't keep it inside. They
must talk to others and get support from friends and relatives."
(Researcher's transcripts)

She claimed that in her case she heard her mother's side but not her father's.
She believes it would be helpful to hear both parents' stories about the divorce.
She also added that she feels it would "help if parents would communicate with
each other." (Researcher's transcripts)

She believes it is important for parents to tell their children together and she feels it
is important that children who are experiencing divorce should "talk about it and
get it all out. I kept it in and it was always difficult." (Researcher's transcripts)

She holds that "straight talk" is important. By this she means parents should be
open and honest with their children and not hide anything. She also believes
children should be told by both parents and that they should talk about it. She
added "children should be given support. They can't handle things like they're
an adult. They need support and someone to tell them everything is going to be
okay and that everyone is there for them if they need help." (Researcher's
transcripts)

She believes parents should tell children in an honest and open manner and she
claims "it helps if children talk about it. Don't keep things in because they eat you
up." (Researcher's transcripts)

She thinks parents should "tell all the kids together. I think everybody should
be there and both parents." (Researcher's transcripts) She wishes her own father
had been more understanding. She claims nothing can really help children when
their parents divorce and she feels talking makes it worse.
 90

no.10: She also feels that both parents should tell their children about the divorce together
and she added that children experiencing parental divorce "should not bottle their
feelings and rather just be open and talk about things." (Researcher's transcripts)

From the above it seems as if many of the adolescents felt that parents in general,
but specifically their own parents, should be honest and truthful with them. Many
believed that the best way for parents to tell their children about the divorce is for
both parents to sit down with all the children and tell them openly what was
happening. The adolescents mentioned a number of different things that they felt
may help other adolescents having to go through parental divorce. They strongly
suggest that talking helps, as well as support from others and also the way
parents tell children should be done in as open and honest way as possible.
 CHAPTER SIX
DISCUSSION OF RESULTS

If the nuclear family can be likened to a small, quiet pond, its waters
unruffled and at peace, then divorce is a large boulder hurled violently
into its middle. The shock waves surge across the entire surface, leaving no
edge untouched." (Johnson & Rosenfeld, 1990, p. 218)

The above quote may very aptly apply to the feelings of many adolescents who
experience parental divorce. Wallerstein & Blakeslee (1990) believe that when divorce
occurs during adolescence it is extremely difficult as these individuals are beginning to
find their own identities and establish themselves as individuals and the divorce
pulls them back into the family orbit, where they may become consumed with care
for siblings or a troubled parent. It may and often does interfere with their academic
and social life, causing them to spend class-time pre-occupied with worry and to
pass up social activities because of demands at home.

6.1 Family relationships

6.1.1 Parent-child relationships

Shybunko (in Everett, 1989) claims that the divorce process results in a number of
changes in the parent-child relationship. They believe that the first year after the
divorce seems like the most traumatic time for both parents and children. After a
period of approximately two years, most divorced families find their relationships
stabilise, children manifest fewer symptoms and many have recovered to their
previous level of functioning.

A diminished capacity to parent effectively is normal in divorce. Parents often have

less time for their children; have less patience; show less discipline; are less
consistent, less sensitive and less responsible. As a result children often feel
abandoned by both parents. The child may serve as a primary support system to
ward off problems of the parent - they may give up their play time and
developmental agenda to assist the parent. The child, in many instances, loses out
on adequate parenting. Eldest children are also more often at risk as they tend to
be the support system to their siblings.

In the present research it was noted that three of the ten subjects claimed that of
all the members in their families they get on best with their mother, and likewise
three claimed they get on worst with their mothers. Only one subject claimed she
gets on best with her father whilst two stated they get on worst with their
fathers. Of the ten adolescents, only two felt that they were closer to both parents
before the divorce than after, two claimed they were closer to their father and
 92

two couldn't remember. One could speculate that this was possibly as a result of
attempting to distance themselves from the whole experience or that they found it
too hard to talk about. Four of the ten subjects stated that they had better
relationships with their mothers before the divorce than they had after the divorce.

These figures seemed to change somewhat after the divorce and whilst only four
of the ten subjects claimed that they got on better with their mothers before the
divorce, six stated they had better relationships with their mothers after the
divorce. The same two subjects who felt they had better relationships with their
fathers before the divorce than with their mothers, still felt that they had better
relationships with their fathers after the divorce. One child felt her relationships
with both parents had stayed the same, that is, she felt she had good relationships
with both parents, and one felt she got on worse with both of her parents since
the divorce.

When asked whether they were able to speak to their parents about the divorce,
five girls claimed they could talk to their mothers, one to her father, one to both
parents and three mentioned that their families "don't talk about it much."
(Researcher's transcripts) Forty percent of the subjects mentioned that if they had a
problem, they would speak to their mothers about it, 20% would talk to their
fathers, only one child claimed she would talk to either parent depending on the
problem and the other three stated that they would confide in someone else, in
other words neither of their parents. This supports Braude and Francisco-la
Grange's (1993) findings which state that 29% of subjects in their study did not
share their feelings with anyone; 32% confided in their mother and 10% were able
to speak with both parents.

Although the initial crisis of divorce may well impact negatively on parenting
abilities, parents are able to acquire new skills in time. Of importance is that
parents maintain effective relationships with each other regarding parenting and that
they both agree to act in the best interests of their children. Fisher (1982) claims
that:

If parents become fixated at the divorce juncture continuing to squabble and

gripe, harbor animosities and see life as a misery, then children are likely to
feel obliged to take care of their distraught parents to atone for the alleged
misdeeds of the other spouse. They may get pulled into taking sides on a
prolonged basis and may develop a view of marriage as an archaic
institution to be avoided. (p.124).

Two subjects in the present study claimed that they had felt torn between their
parents and that they had acted as go-betweens between their parents to relay
messages. One mentioned that she wished her parents would stop talking about
each other to her. She claimed that her mother would tell her everything that was
wrong with her father and her father would do the same in terms of her mother.
 93

These feelings of being torn between parents seems to make the adjustment to
parental divorce much harder for the children involved, as it prevents them from
being able to accept each parent in his or her own way.

6.1.2 Sibling relationships

Wallerstein & Kelly (1977) state that the presence of siblings is more comforting
than it is destructive. According to these authors, only-children were found to be
more vulnerable to the stresses of divorce. There are studies which have not,
however, found a positive relationship between presence of siblings and post-
divorce adjustment. (Landis, 1960; Rosen, 1977, in Braude & Francisco-La Grange,
1993) In the present study it was found that most of the subjects, with the
exception of one, had good relationships with their brothers and sisters. It was
noted that 60% of the subjects claimed that they got on best with a sister. This
may be due to the fact that the sample consisted only of girls. Only 20% claimed
they got on worst with either a brother or sister. None of the subjects stated that
they had got the most support from any of their siblings, although the researcher
feels that owing to the fact that many of the subjects claimed that they got on
better with their sisters than with any other family members, this must imply a
certain amount of closeness. Only two subjects mentioned that if their mother was
not available to discuss a problem with them, then they would confide in their
sister.

The one subject who doesn't get on well with her brother mentioned that she
thought her brother and herself should have stood by each other more because she
felt it may have helped them. From this it would seem that in terms of post
divorce adjustment, the current study would not necessarily support the above
findings by Landis (1960, in Braude & Francisco-la Grange, 1993) and later by
Rosen (1977, in Braude & Francisco-la Grange) but would agree with Wallerstein
and Kelly (1990) who found, that the presence of siblings is more comforting than
it is destructive.

As mentioned previously, (in chapter three) some studies have shown that there is
great potential in the sibling support system which can be seen in the present
study. Hetherington, (in Secunda, 1991) found that older girls in divorced families
frequently played a supportive, nurturing role in relations with younger female
siblings and of the six subjects in the present study who felt they were closer to a
sister than to anyone else in their family, all six are younger sisters and hence this
may support Hetherington's findings that they are close to their older sisters due
to the caring they receive from them.
 94

6.1.3 Extended family relationships

"The extended family can fill a specific need for children from divorced homes
and are a crucial part of divorce recovery and the growth process throughout
their whole lives. They can serve as important role models for children in addition
to performing helpful functions for the divorced parents." (Johnson & Rosenfeld,
1990, p.172.) In the current study, it was found that grandparents in five out of
the ten cases played a very important and helpful role after the divorce. Initially,
when the separation occurred, five of the subjects moved into their maternal
grandmothers' homes. One subject continued living with her grandmother and
although she claims it is difficult as she doesn't get on with her grandmother very
well, she still claims that she would prefer to live with her grandmother than with
her mother, as she feels her mother is very strict. Fifty percent of the subjects
explained that their grandparents were helpful at the time of the divorce, some
because they provided emotional support and others for providing financial support.
Three subjects claimed they were very close to an aunt in the family and one
mentioned an uncle who had provided some support.

These current findings support findings of Johnson and Rosenfeld (1990) who
believe that:

During and after a divorce, relatives outside the immediate family become
considerably more important to a child than ever before. Since his or her
nuclear family has been redefined, he or she needs the identity and security
or belonging to a larger family. Grandparents are powerful figures in a
child's life. Their availability and neutrality can be very helpful to a child
at the time of divorce and afterwards. The attention and love of family
members can be effective in assuring the happiness and well-being of
adolescents in a divorced family. (p.172)

6.2 The Divorce

6.2.1 Parent relationships prior to the divorce

Eighty percent of the subjects in the current study described their households
before the divorce as ones in which their parents frequently fought, argued and
shouted at one another. This seemed to be very distressing for the adolescents
although they still rarely mentioned feeling relief when their parents divorced and
the arguing stopped. In two families in the present study, the parents are still on
bad terms and in two other families the subjects' fathers are living in different
cities so their parents have very little contact with one another. Two subjects
claimed that they hardly ever see their fathers.
 95

Van Wyk and la Cock (1988) claim that it has been shown that the period of
strife, uncertainty and conflict preceding divorce is actually more damaging for
children than the divorce itself. The presence of high conflict between parents in
the years after the divorce is said to be linked to more personality and behavioral
problems in children. The subjects who were interviewed showed few problems in
these areas and yet it is possibly too early to judge. Forehand, Wierson, Thomas,
Fauber, Armistead, Kempton and Long (1991) claim that interparental conflict is
related to the parent-adolescent relationship in divorced families and they
concluded that "interparental conflict would be more detrimental to the family
environment in divorced families because positive aspects of the parental
relationship are not present to offset the parental conflict." (Forehand, et al., 1991,
p.98)

6.2.2 Feelings and reactions

Most children do not know what is happening and they are not prepared for the
changes that accompany parental divorce. Often parents don't tell their children
about the divorce until, in some cases, it has already occurred. Some parents don't
make their children aware that they are not getting on and hence the
announcement of the divorce can be a devastating event in a child's life. In
Wallerstein's (1991) study she found that only fifty percent of children were actually
told about the divorce - the others were told the day after or a day before the
divorce actually took place. In the current study it was found that sixty percent of
subjects were informed before hand whilst 40% were told or discovered their
parents were divorced afterwards. One respondent only found out about her
parents' divorce when she found the divorce decree.

Neugebauer (in Everett, 1989) claims that many children who have been
interviewed about their parents' divorce experience some confusion - approximately
two-thirds of the individuals had never been directly informed of the reasons for
the divorce and less than one quarter of the children received advanced explicit
warnings of their parents' separation and divorce.

Braude and Francisco-La Grange (1993) claim that clinical experience has shown
that children are not adequately, if at all, prepared by parents for the divorce and
for its outcome. "The inadequate preparation on the part of the parents contributes
to children feeling insecure, abandoned, confused and overwhelmed, resulting in a
lack of clarity about the immediate future, a tendency to fantasize and an inability
to accept and communicate their feelings." (p.30)

Braude and Francisco-la Grange (1993) found that two thirds of children reported
having been surprised by their parents' divorce even when they were aware that
their parents had not been getting on. They also found that only 33% of children
in their study were only told about the divorce prior to one parent moving out;
 96

49% (21 out of 43) were told by their mothers; 21% (9 out of 43) were told by
their fathers and only 18% (8 out of 43) were told by both parents. The
remaining children did not remember. In comparison with Braude and Francisco-la
Grange's (1993) findings, the current study shows that 60% of the subjects were
told about the divorce prior to one parent moving out; 60% were told by their
mothers and one adolescent was told by her father. None of the children were
told about the divorce by both parents, but two subjects admitted that one parent
had told them and then the other told them again at a later stage. Thirty percent
of the subjects in the current study had not been told immediately by their parents
and had had to ask about what was happening.

Wallerstein & Kelly (1974) stated that certain experiences and responses by
adolescents, to parental divorce appeared frequently in their study. They believe
that the "commonality of response undoubtedly has its roots in the developmental
psychology of the adolescent and for the most part represents that aspect of the
adolescent functioning devoted to active mastery of and adaptive coping with the
disorganising impact of divorce." (p. 485)

Feelings and responses which occurred frequently amongst the subjects in the
current study include: anger, emptiness, hurt, confusion, disbelief, sadness and shock.
The most common and strongest of the above-mentioned feelings were anger,
shock and disbelief. Adolescents in the present study were also asked about their
initial reactions to the divorce and they mentioned showing emotions by crying,
not speaking, being angry at their parents and feeling numb.

Research has shown that in older children anger is a typical reaction. They are
generally more verbal, disobey their mothers, are more negative and refuse to see
their father when he visits. It is important to encourage children to express their
feelings and recognise anger as part of the grieving process over the loss of a
two-parent family. Wallerstein and Blakeslee (1990) have found anger to be a
common reaction amongst adolescents and they explain that children understand
divorce as a decision of one or both of the parents to separate. Given this,
children face a terrible dilemma. They know that their unhappiness has been
caused by the very people charged with their protection and care - their parents
are the agents of their distress. Children experience mixed feelings of anger and love
and they often feel frightened and guilty about their anger because they love their
parents and perceive them as unhappy people who are trying to improve their
lives in the face of severe obstacles. This concern that is felt by children often makes it
very difficult for them to acknowledge their anger. It is important for children to
work through their anger, to recognise their parents as human beings, capable of
making mistakes and to respect them for their efforts and their real courage.

Wallerstein (1991) in her work with children of divorce has also found the
following reactions by adolescents to divorce and one feels that the findings of the
current study support these. Wallerstein found that common feelings were intense
 97

anxiety, for example children may think of things such as "what will happen to
me?", they worry about their parents, they have feelings of powerlessness,
loneliness, responsibility for the divorce and guilt. When divorce occurs during
adolescence it results in a lack of structure at a time when it is needed most.

Only one of the ten subjects claimed she was happy and relieved when her
parents divorced. Her father often beat up her mother and locked her out of the
house and with the divorce came an end to this. Half the subjects expressed
feeling shock or disbelief at hearing their parents were divorcing. These findings
support the findings of Wallerstein and Blakeslee (1990) who claim that only one
tenth of children in their study experienced relief when their parents divorced. They
found that few children actually expected their parents to divorce and as a result they
hadn't prepared themselves for it.

One adolescent in this sample mentioned feeling "different" when she realised her
parents were divorcing. Diamond (1985) claims that since:

Separation, divorce and nontraditional family arrangements are indisputably

more common place today, many people have concluded that children do
not feel as embarrassed or as different as they did in previous decades;
these people may assume that children do not need special attention unless
they are having or causing problems. (p.30)

In light of the above quote, many of the subjects (80%) in the present study
admitted that they hadn't felt different to their friends in any way after their
parents' divorce and yet the researcher believes that many of these teenagers still
have many feelings to work through and accept and hence to dismiss the fact that
they may need special attention would be very insightless.

Four of the ten subjects in the present study admitted to blaming themselves and
feeling guilty about the divorce. One respondent mentioned blaming herself
because her father had told her that the divorce was caused partly by her brother
and her fighting. Wallerstein and Blakeslee (1990) have found that:

Young people often feel responsible for divorce, thinking that their
misbehavior may have caused one parent to leave. Many guilty feelings may
arise at the time of divorce but dissipate naturally as children mature.
Children of divorce need to separate from guilty ties that bind them too
closely to a troubled parent and to go on with their lives with compassion
and love. (p.294)

Wallerstein & Kelly (1974) found that children of divorcing parents who "express
guiltily their responsibility for having caused the divorce may indeed be doing so
to ward off the more terrifying feelings that they have no control over or indeed
no influence whatsoever on the course of events in their environment." (p.482)
 98

Only one of the subjects in the present study actually voiced feeling torn between
her parents. However, the researcher's clinical impressions were that many of the
other subjects felt the same way at different times. In many of the cases in
Wallerstein & Kelly's (1974) study one or both parents consciously or unconsciously
required the children to align with them. This demand on the adolescent frequently
resulted in feelings of despair, anger, guilt and depression.

In conclusion, children express their feelings about separation and divorce in many
ways. These coping mechanisms are normal and should not concern one if
displayed early in the separation, but may warrant attention if they continue after
the first year, for example, crying, bodily symptoms such as nausea, trouble
sleeping, nightmares, restlessness, regression and denial. Some behaviors that
usually indicate a problem are withdrawal and silence, loss of interest in friends,
delinquency, refusal to go to school, problems in learning, sexual perversions and
obsessive-compulsive rituals. In light of the above, it would suggest that certain
subjects in the present study do require special attention due to the fact that more
than one year after the divorce they are still presenting symptoms, such as crying
alone, feeling restless or withdrawing from their friends.

6.2.3 Changes after the divorce

Braude and Francisco-La Grange (1993) in their study on the effects of divorce on
adolescents claim that "the majority of children who perceived a change in either
their mother or father indicated that these changes were associated with less
support than prior to the divorce. Over half the children believed their lives during
and after the divorce were more difficult and two thirds cited 'missing their
father' as a reason." (p.48)

Most of the adolescent girls in the present study noted changes after the divorce
that were more on a personal level as opposed to actual physical changes. For
example, they noted changes in their parents such as one mother not being as
cheeky after the divorce as she was before. Another noted that her mother was much
happier after the divorce. Some of the subjects noted changes such as not seeing
their parents' car in the driveway when they came home from school or only
seeing one parent at the weekend and not during the week. In a sense many of
their answers implied a sense of loss - loss of the presence of one parent and the
implications thereof.

The researcher would agree with Wallerstein and Blakeslee's (1990) findings which
state that "in the years following the divorce, children experience two profound
losses. One is the loss of an intact family together with the symbolic and real
protection it has provided. The second is the loss of the presence of one parent,
usually the father, from their daily lives." (p.289) The present study certainly
 99

highlights the fact that adolescents experience the loss of the presence of their
father in their daily lives.

In terms of anything that helped or hindered the subjects after the divorce,
individuals in the present study generally mentioned a particular individual who had
given them support or helped them during the time of divorce, for example a best
friend, grandmother, father or extended family. Only two subjects mentioned
aspects that hindered them and these included not being able to see their father
and keeping their feelings "bottled inside" them. Unlike the findings of the current
study, Braude and Francisco-la Grange's (1993) noted that 50% of their subjects,
claimed what hindered them most was the fact that their parents were not united,
25% mentioned parental fighting and one subject claimed it was the financial
situation they were left in. It is possible that perhaps if subjects in the present
study had had to think of something that hindered them, then they may have
presented similar answers to the individuals in the Braude and Francisco-la Grange
study (1993).

6.2.4 Living arrangements

Living arrangements for adolescents whose parents have divorced can, and often
do, become a complex arena for playing out parental conflicts as well as phase-
specific adolescent development and divorce-related issues. Adolescent girls struggle
to make sense of feelings related to parental divorce during their adolescence.
Fathers play a critical role in aiding their adolescent daughters' individuation from
mother and affirming her sense of femininity. In the intact family, girls can relate to
each parent and facilitate the adolescent process with much greater ease than if the
parents live apart. Mitchell (1985) found that:

Few of the parents had discussed the living arrangements with their children
and there was some indication that had the children been given their choice,
they may have chosen for continuity of the family, home, friends, and
school, irrespective of which parent lived in the house. Not surprisingly,
most parents did not tell their children much about the separation and
divorce. In most cases the children's memories were that they had been
told that the parents could not get along with each other. (p.234)

In the present study seventy percent of the adolescents mentioned that they felt
they should have been allowed to decide where they live. Only one subject
claimed her parents could decide, one was unsure and one felt that both her
parents and herself should decide together. Sixty percent of the subjects felt that
they should live with their mothers. Of these six girls, four of them were in fact
living with their mothers whilst one lived with her father and another was lodging
near her school with some acquaintances of her family. Two girls stated that they
would preferably like to live with both parents, which suggests that they are still
hoping and yearning for their parents to get back together. One subject claimed
 100

that she would be happiest living with her father and in fact she does live with
him on weekends, but lives in the school-hostel during the week. One subject
admitted she should live with her grandmother, where she was living at the time
of the interview, as she feels her mother is too strict.

Almost all children want their parents to stay together. Children stress that they
need information and explanations about changes in living arrangements, the right
to be listened to as well as talked to and the right not to carry responsibility for
painful decisions. Callahan (in Van Staden, 1987) believes that children have a need
to know and love both parents and therefore should not be asked to choose
which parent to live with. One feels that at adolescent level these individuals do
need to know and love both parents but also have a good idea of who they get
on better with and who they would feel happier living with.

6.2.5 Sources of support

Children of divorce generally know many adults, and yet Wallerstein (1991) noted
that only about five percent of these children are supported by any adult. Braude
and Francisco-La Grange (1993) found that mothers emerged as the person with
whom children were most able to discuss their feelings. Fathers were less involved
in both preparing children for divorce and in acting as emotional confidantes

Adolescents shared both what it was like telling someone else about their parents
divorce and whom they first told. Half of girls in the present study admitted
telling a good friend first and 20% of the subjects first told their boyfriend. If
one considers a boyfriend to be a friend then it would suggest that 70% of the
subjects felt most comfortable confiding in a friend. The subjects stated feeling
weird, embarrassed and afraid on the one hand but also some claimed they felt
relieved, understood and comforted when they told someone about their parents'
divorce. Two subjects (20%) in the current study - claimed they never told anyone
about their parents divorce

The present research supports Braude and Francisco-La Grange's (1993) findings
that mothers emerged as the person with whom children were most able to
discuss their feelings. In this study forty percent of the adolescents felt they would
out of choice speak to their mothers about their feelings and if they had a
problem. What also emerged, however, was that although they felt they could turn
to someone if they needed to, so few people were actually available to support
them. This was made obvious when, in summing up, many of the subjects claimed
that they had never spoken to anyone about the divorce or aspects of it.

6.3 Friends and peer group

Of great importance during adolescence is the peer group and this was highlighted
in the study by 80% of the subjects claiming that they spend most of their time
 101

with a large group of friends. Of the remaining two, one stated she doesn't have
friends at school and spends most of her time with her boyfriend. The other
subject has a group of guy-friends as opposed to girlfriends that she spends time
with. The peer group provides a major source of security and support for the
adolescent and hence one is able to note the benefits of it during times of
difficulty such as parental divorce.

Many subjects mentioned that the first person they ever told about their parents'
divorce was a friend. This would be expected when one takes into account that
the peer group for the adolescent is possibly the most important and influential
part of their lives during this developmental stage. Four subjects mentioned that
their friends treated them differently after the divorce. Some felt their friends were
in fact "too nice to them" and this incongruence in their relationships with their
friends possibly lead to them feeling different.

Fifty percent of the subjects felt they had the same amount of friends before their
parents divorced as they did after and eighty percent claimed they didn't feel
different to their friends on account of their parents being divorced. Two subjects
claimed that they had felt different - particularly when other girls spoke about
their fathers. One subject felt that even though some of her friends' parents were
divorced, they couldn't really understand as their parents were divorced when they
were much younger. Many subjects (50%) admitted that the best aspect of school
was being with their friends.

Mitchell (1985), and Wallerstein and Kelly (1980) both conclude that more girls
than boys use their friends as a support system. Mitchell (1985) reported that
children who had confided in their friends found that sharing experiences and
being aware of not being alone in their predicament were most helpful.
Hetherington (in Berman, 1991) found that about one third of adolescents became
disengaged from the family following divorce and became involved in school
activities and the peer group. These findings are once again supported by the
current findings in that many of the subjects (80%) claimed to spend most of
their spare time with their peers and one respondent even admitted that her best
friend's family was where she spent all her time after the divorce.

6.4 School and academic performance

Of the ten subjects in the current study, six claimed that they enjoy school. The
four subjects who dislike school are all in Std 9 and matric and hence the heavy
work load, at least partially, may account for them feeling this way. When asked
what they liked best and worst about school the following was stated: five
subjects felt being with friends was the best part of school, three subjects
mentioned they enjoyed the subjects and one claimed sport was the best part.
Amongst the worst things about school were teachers (20%); subjects (20%);
homework (20%) and the fact that it was boring and goes on for too long. It is
 102

possible that these feelings may have been experienced as a result of the lack of
concentration experienced by 60% of the subjects.

Within the school and peer environments the majority of girls in the present study
claimed to feel shy at times (70%); 70% also mentioned not feeling part of a
group at the time of the divorce; 50% felt lonely, sad and depressed at times and
50% admitted to crying often - most of them (3 of the 5 subjects who admitted
to crying often) added that they cry alone or at night in bed.

Morawetz & Walker (1984) found that as a group, children from single parent
homes show lower achievement and present more discipline problems in primary and
high school than do children in households where both parents are present. They are also
absent more often, late for school more often and show more health problems.

Unlike the subjects in Morawetz and Walker's (1984) study, the individuals in the
present study don't seem to experience many problems at school nor do they
claim to behave badly very often. It is possible that had one asked their relevant
teachers about these aspects, one would have gained better insight into these
areas. Answering questions such as whether they have bunked school before, could
have possibly lead to some individuals giving the socially accepted answer rather
than the truth.

Only one out of the ten girls claimed that she had stayed back a year in primary
school (and this occurred long before her parents divorce) and none of the
subjects had ever failed any standards at school. Fifty percent claimed to have
bunked school on occasion; 30% admitted copying homework from others; and only
one admitted to both copying from others as well as cheating in tests. All ten
subjects claimed that they have no problems at school and only two admitted to
ever getting into trouble at school.

6.4.1 Academic performance

"Divorce often affects children's ability to focus attention outside the family, in
which direction their lives have just begun to expand. Their self-identity and self-
esteem are closely tied to the family, especially to their parents. Researchers have
noticed both declines in school performance and problems in peer relationships in
children undergoing parental divorce." (Bonkowski, Boomhower & Bequette, 1984,
p.133)

Kaye (in Everett, 1989) suggests that divorce adversely affects children's grades and
achievement test scores. She hypothesised that children of divorce show poorer
academic performance in the first year after the divorce. She believes this is
because divorce is a disorganising event which sets in motion a number of
changes, for example, new relationships with each parent. Children are likely to be
preoccupied with these problems and hence have problems concentrating at school
 103

and completing home-work and school assignments. Also, custodial parents have less
time to help children with homework. She continues that the poorer academic
performance of children of divorce will extend for 2 - 3 years after the divorce, but
after this time there will be no differences in the academic performance of children
from divorced or intact families.

Seventy percent of the subjects in the present study claimed that their marks had
gone down since the divorce. Respondent number three mentioned doing
particularly badly in the past term (45%), whereas previously she had done quite
well. She had mentioned earlier in the interview that she felt the divorce had only
recently "hit" her and this could possibly have lead to her being preoccupied and
unable to concentration at school and hence resulted in poor results. It was also
noted that a number of the subjects passed comments which suggested they have
or have had problems with attention and concentration at school. When asked
directly, 40% admitted to feeling restless and unable to concentrate, 20% claimed
they sometimes feel restless and have difficulty concentrating and 40% denied any
of these.

While academic performance is only one area of functioning, it is an important

one. Hetherington, Camara & Featherman (1981) and Shinn (1978), indicate that
children from two-parent families demonstrate higher mental aptitude, academic
achievement and school grades than do those from one-parent families. Neighbors,
Forehand and Armistead (1992) report adolescent academic performance is the area
most sensitive to family stress. The current statistics of 70% of the adolescents in
this study admitting their results were worse after the divorce than before supports
the findings above.

On the other hand, McCombs and Forehand (1989) claim that results indicate that
academic performance is not uniform for early adolescents from recently divorced
families. Any number of factors, including parental conflict, may potentially serve
to buffer the adolescent academic performance against the deleterious effects of
divorce. A good relationship with at least one parent has been shown to protect
children from harmful divorce effects. Parents with a high educational level have
children with a higher level of school achievement. This suggests that this is an
area which needs to be explored further.

When the above factors are considered it suggests that one of two approaches
could be adopted in order to enhance adolescent academic performance following
divorce, namely reduce conflict between parents in front of the adolescent and
possibly teaching conflict resolution skills to the parents and the adolescent.

6.4.2 Teacher support

Although in South Africa the number of divorces is on the increase almost every
year and consequently the amount of children from single parent homes is also on
 104

the increase, many schools and teachers are ill-equipped to deal with these
children's special needs. A very sad fact of life is that for many of these children
in single-parent families, their teachers may represent the most stable figures in
their lives.

Fifty percent of the subjects in the present study claimed that they get on with
their teachers, 40% added they only get on with certain teachers and only one
denied getting on with any of her teachers at school. Seven of the ten subjects
believed that one or more of their teachers know about their parents' divorce and
the other three claimed that they don't think their teachers know. Of the ten,
however, only two added that they felt their teachers were at all helpful or
supportive at the time of the divorce.

Since children spend a quarter of the day at least with the teacher, she often may
represent a stable and consistent adult in their lives and hence play a very
important role. Diamond (1985, in chapter 3) states that there is often a "flurry of
attention and activity while the divorce is fresh but after the flurry comes the day-
to-day experience of living with and coping with new circumstances...." (p.45) This
is when the teachers at school could play a helpful and much needed role of
being a supportive adult in the adolescent's life. "Teachers don't have to give
affection or love. Teachers don't have to be psychologically trained or skilled.
However, they can help their students to have a feeling of security and can help
them find a sense of direction." (Diamond, 1985, p.45)

6.5 Somatic symptoms, physical health and social activities

Johnson (1990) claims that "children who have more somatic complaints have more
rejecting and distant relationships with their parents. They also have family
environments that show more elements of both role diffusion and role reversal."
(p.114) Wallerstein (1991) agrees that somatic complaints as well as sleep
disturbances, fear of abandonment, fears of impending disaster, disinterest and
underachievement in school, suspiciousness, hyperalertness, emotional constriction
and poor peer relationships all appear frequently in children of divorced parents.

The present study supports the fact that adolescents from recently divorced parents
do show many somatic symptoms. It was found that thirty percent of the subjects
admitted to experiencing frequent headaches, thirty percent admitted to experiencing
headaches and stomach aches, and another thirty percent admitted to only
experiencing frequent stomach aches. Only one subject claimed she only gets
headaches or stomach aches when she's sick. Two of the adolescents admitted to
having a spastic colon and both added that it gets worse when they are worried
or stressed.

Fifty percent of the sample claim to have "normal" eating patterns. The other five
are fairly weight and diet conscious. Four of the five weight conscious subjects
 105

mentioned having been bulimic at some time after the divorce, one has taken
laxatives and another has abused slimming tablets which she claims have "stuffed
up her metabolism." Depression can cause a change in eating patterns and the
researcher's clinical impressions were that the one subject who claimed to have lost
her appetite and concentration may be cause for concern although this could be
complicated by the fact that she is currently in matric, her mother has cancer and
she has many pressures to deal with.

6.5.1 Substance abuse

Buchanan, Maccoby and Dornbusch (1991) found that many adolescents from
divorced homes claimed to have done many of the following in the past year:
smoke cigarettes, buy alcohol, drink alcohol, use a phony ID, copy homework,
cheat in tests, bunk classes, stolen something valuable and got into trouble with
the police. The current study supports some of Buchanan et al.'s (1991) findings
but not all of them.

Amongst the subjects in the present study, very few seemed to have experimented
with substances. Only one of the ten adolescents admitted to smoking dagga
occasionally. None of the others had ever tried it. Two of the ten subjects smoke
cigarettes, two drink alcohol with their friends on the weekend and one drinks
occasionally. The remaining subjects denied ever smoking or drinking in the past,
however, one cannot ignore that social acceptability prejudice may have caused
subjects to answer as they did.

Doherty, Su and Needle (in Doherty & Needle, 1991) found that children who
experienced parental divorce during adolescence were more likely to be involved in
substance abuse and to report problematic substance abuse than were children who
experienced no divorce or divorce during preadolescence. Their study, however,
has a downfall in that it does not examine the adolescents' psychological
adjustment and substance use before as well as after the divorce. Doherty and
Needle (1991) also found that boys showed more of the effects of divorce with
regards to substance abuse, than girls which could clarify why so few of the
adolescents in the current sample abused or had experimented with substances or
why the findings differ from that of other researchers in this field.

6.5.2 Intimate relationships

Only three of the adolescents in the present research admitted to being in a

relationship when they were interviewed. Two maintained that they have had
relationships in the past. Two of the subjects admitted that their boyfriends had
been the first person they had told about the divorce and the same two admitted
that their boyfriends had given them the most support. In Lauer and Lauer's study
(1991) they found that 82% of their subjects were in relationships with individuals
of the opposite sex. When asked about the effects of family disruption on the
 106

quality of their relationships, two-thirds of the subjects in their study replied that
they felt it had negative consequences, for example, they stated experiencing
problems such as "I have difficulty trusting others", "I have difficulty making a
commitment", "I am too independent and self-reliant."

Seventy percent of the subjects in the present research claimed they felt fairly
comfortable and relaxed in the company of boys. When asked who they would
confide in if they had a problem or questions about a boy, 40% admitted they
would speak to a friend, 30% to their mothers and 10% each to a sister, brother
or father.

Contrary thus far to the experiences of this sample, Wallerstein and her associates
(in Lauer & Lauer, 1991) reported that two-thirds of the young women from
disrupted families developed anxiety as young adults, feared betrayal in intimate
relationships and had problems committing themselves to a relationship.
Investigation shows that one of the many long term effects of parental loss
associated with divorce is the influence it has on intimate relationships. Hutchinson
and Spangler-Hirsh (in Everett, 1989) believe that individuals behave in certain
compensatory ways to solve this problem. They may avoid forming relationships
altogether, or they may involve themselves in premature or accelerated courtship
patterns and thirdly they may engage in mock intimacy, in which a series of
casual noncommittal relationships are exhibited.

Children of divorce have learned first hand that relationships can be broken,
and they are afraid of being abandoned. Having seen their parents do battle
they are afraid to be caught in the middle. Having seen their parents fail,
they fear future failures in their parents' and their own lives. Having seen
infidelity in their parents' marriage, they feel their parents will be unfaithful
to them. They therefore need strong assurances that parents will safeguard
their growing up years and will be responsive to their needs and
concerns. (Wallerstein & Blakeslee, 1990, p.282)

Wallerstein & Kelly (1974) found that because the breakdown of the parents'
marriage comes at a time when the adolescent is expending considerable thought
and psychological energy in the service of his heterosexual object-finding, the
divorce experience interjects itself into his thinking in several relevant ways:

It confronts the adolescent with concerns that divorce may also occur in
his future adult life. For our adolescents two different reactions occur - the
one is the decision that they will never marry and the ones who did not
rule out marriage, had given much thought to marrying later than their
parents had, with an attendant conscious intent to be quite selective, and
wiser than their parents with the choice of marital partners. (Wallerstein &
Kelly, 1974, p.487)
 107

The present findings support Wallerstein and Kelly's (1974) findings to some
degree in that 30% of the subjects felt unsure about marriage and hadn't really
thought about whether they wanted to marry or not - this is possibly due to the
fact that their parents were recently divorced. Two subjects strongly stated that
they didn't want to get married because they feared their own marriages would
end in divorce, just as their parents' marriages had. Fifty percent of the subjects
claimed they definitely did want to get married one day.

6.6 Religion

Berman (1991) found that many divorcee's children turned to religion "for its
promise of safety and stability they want and need." (p.53) She claims that "in
many ways, organised religion provides children of divorce with another form of
family - one that promises to be true to you as long as you uphold your end of
the bargain and honour your commitment to it." (p.53)

Many of the subjects in the current study relied heavily on their religion and
found great comfort in prayer and their belief in God. Seven of the ten subjects
claimed that they attend church regularly, either with their mothers (40%), alone
(10%) or with the whole family (20%). Seven girls claimed that they had found
religion helped a great deal during the divorce and afterwards. One subject
mentioned she often prayed that things wouldn't get any worse. Three subjects
admitted blaming God and being angry at Him about the divorce. One subject
believed that God wasn't answering her prayers to stop her father drinking and
beating up her mother.

6.7 Conclusions

6.7.1 Recommendations and suggestions from present research study

Adolescents in the present study suggested various recommendations and

suggestions that they believed could be helpful to other adolescents experiencing
parental divorce. They gave advice on how parents should tell their children and
teenagers about the divorce. They emphasised the importance of both parents
telling all their children together and the value of parents being straight and honest
with their children.

Parkinson (1987) claims that:

Adults often find it hard to help children cope with the pain of separation
and divorce. Parents may avoid discussing the decisions they make with
the children because they are so upset and confused themselves. They may
believe they are protecting their children by not telling them what is going
on in case it upsets them. One underestimates children's perceptiveness and
the isolation they experience if we talk about them instead of with them,
 108

without giving them the information and reassurance they need about
decisions that directly concern them. (p.47)

Parkinson's (1987) ideas clearly highlight what has been suggested by many of the
adolescents in this study. The researcher's clinical impressions were that the
adolescents did have a good understanding of what was happening between their
parents and many would have appreciated knowing more about what was going
on.

Wallerstein and Blakeslee (1990) believe there is no way to prevent children from
suffering at the time of divorce, but there are many ways to help them cope with
the suffering and fear that children experience. It seems that many adolescents from
divorced homes would agree that, if possible, both parents should tell their
children together because by representing unity, the parents convey the sense that
a rational, mature decision has been made. However, if this unity is present then
one would hypothesize that the parents would probably not be divorcing. If such
unity is impossible, which is probably the most likely and common scenario, then
adolescents suggest that one parent should break the news.

Suggestions from some of the adolescents in this study were supported by findings
from Wallerstein and Blakeslee (1990) who claim that it is better to tell all the
children at once than each separately. They do continue however that:

If there is a wide age difference, it is useful to tell them together and then
separately, adapting each explanation to each child's level of understanding.
Children should be told about the divorce when it has become a firm
decision. They should know within a few days or a week beforehand of
one parent moving out. It is cruel to tell children after one parent has
already left, for it is an experience they will never forget. (Wallerstein &
Blakeslee, 1990, p. 286)

In this study, the subjects also made suggestions of things which they believe may
help others going through parental divorce. They mentioned issues such as the
importance of communication and support from somebody with whom one can talk
openly and the importance of crying.

In terms of help received after the divorce, 70% of the subjects had never
received any help or support. One subject claimed that she had spoken to
someone at the 702 Crisis Centre but she added that it wasn't, in her opinion,
specifically for divorce-related issues. Another subject had spoken to someone at a
clinic and one subject had seen a psychologist once but didn't feel it helped. The
researcher realised adolescents' very important need for support and help when
many of the subjects thanked the researcher for allowing them to "tell their story"
and "get everything out."
 109

One cannot more strongly agree with Bonkowski, Bequette & Boomhower (1984)
who believe that "parents are not the only ones who may need adjustment help
after a divorce. Children experience the loss of identity as members of an intact
family as well as other serious losses. They often feel guilty, anxious and
depressed and are often expected to work through their feelings on their own."
(p.131) In an exploratory study done by the above authors, they found that only
25% of children in divorcing families had received any outside help during their
parents divorce. The present study supports their finding.
 CHAPTER SEVEN
CONCLUSION
One cannot deny that divorce is a wrenching experience. Society has tended to
view one-parent families as pathological. However, the current study has shown
that this is not necessarily the case. It would seem that the present study would
support the findings of Hutchinson and Spangler-Hirsh (in Everett, 1989) who
believe that "viewing the decline of the nuclear family as the cause of child
pathology may be erroneous and may be subject to self-fulfillment prophecy
properties that are detrimental to the goal of enhancing the well-being of these
children." (p.89)

One would agree to with Kurdak and Siesky (1978) that divorce can lead to
different patterns of development amongst adolescents but these different patterns
will not necessarily be disturbed patterns of development. Emery (1982) states that
the stress experienced by a. child during and subsequent to parental divorce is not
primarily attributable to the break up and the resulting single parent family
experience but rather to the turmoil of parental conflict experienced before, during
and after the divorce. The researcher believes this is highlighted and supported by
the current research in light of the fact that seventy percent of the sample claimed
that there was parental conflict, at least before if not also during and after the
actual divorce.

Wallerstein and Blakeslee (1990) hold that divorce is always more devastating for
children as opposed to adults and the effects thereof are often long-lasting. They
conclude their research with the belief that "almost all children of divorce regard
their childhood and adolescence as having taken place in the shadow of divorce.
Although many agree by adulthood that their parents were wise to part company,
they nevertheless feel they suffered from their parents' mistakes." (p.297)

Wallerstein and Blakeslee (1990) continue that "many of the children in their study
emerged in young adulthood as compassionate, courageous and competent people.
Those who did well were helped along the way by a combination of their own
inner resources and supportive relationships with one or both parents, grand-
parents, siblings or mentors." (p.297) One cannot tell whether the various subjects
in the present study will emerge as competent, compassionate, courageous people
as they enter young adulthood, but one thing is certain if one bases the current
findings on the long and extensive research by Wallerstein and Blakeslee (1990),
then there certainly is much hope for all of them.

Wallerstein and Blakeslee (1990) state that:

Adolescence is a period of grave risk for children in divorced families; those

who entered adolescence in the immediate wake of their parents' divorce
 1l1

had a particularly hard time. The young people told us time and again how
much they needed a family structure, how much they wanted to be
protected and how much they yearned for clear guidelines for moral
behavior. They told us they needed more encouragement from parents in the
complicated process of growing up and that, failing to get it, they were
seduced by voices of the street. Feeling abandoned at this critical time in
their lives, they were haunted by inner doubts and uncertainties about the
future. An alarming number of teenagers felt abandoned, physically and
emotionally. (p.297)

The current study supports these findings in that so many of the subjects had not
received adequate, if any, emotional support from their parents and/or extended
family. They stated almost unanimously that they felt it was very important to
communicate and talk about their feelings and experiences. One's clinical
impressions lead the researcher to believe that so many of the girls in the present
study still long for someone close to them to be there for them and to listen and
understand them.

There is evidence that proves the existence of diminished parenting at the time of
divorce which may account for the lack of parental support. Parents are
overwhelmed by the legal process and major decisions they have to make at the
time when they are not only over-stressed but emotionally, financially and often
physically overburdened. Research shows that women take 2 - 3 years to settle
down whilst men take 3 - 4 years after the divorce to regain a sense of
equilibrium in their personal lives.

It is important to keep in mind the belief of some researchers that children of

divorce are no different from children in intact families, provided there is no
continued conflict, that children have sound and unhindered access to the non-
custodial parent and that children were not at risk of emotional difficulties prior to
the divorce.

Irrespective of whether children are different or not, one cannot deny that these
adolescents experience an acutely painful period in their lives. The researcher
agrees with Wallerstein and Kelly (1974) that the period of parental divorce is a
period "marked by a rapid acceleration and telescoping of normative adolescent
perceptions, conflicts, preoccupation's and responses." (p.485). Their extensive
research has lead them to continue on a positive note, however, that "most of
these young people manage to pick up their individual lives within a year following
parental separation and continue with their normal agendas and proceed toward
adulthood at a more measured pace. It seemed that except where the response to
divorce caused delays or ruptured development, they were able to continue at a
level equivalent to their previous achievement or enhanced even by their mastery
of the inner and outer events of the preceding year." (Wallerstein & Kelly, 1974,
p.485)
 112

Adolescents who are seen as coping best in the event of parental divorce seem to
be those who are able to maintain some distance from the parental crisis and
whose parents permit them to do so. The current study has demonstrated that
most of the subjects did find the initial period following the divorce or separation
very difficult. They were, in many cases, forced to experience things that they
subsequently have learned and grown from and although they may have changed
somewhat, no one individual stands out as very different from any other
adolescent in South Africa due to their experience of parental divorce.

7.1 Limitations of the current research

During the process of this particular research, inherent problems and limitations
became apparent to the researcher.

The sample was fairly small, that is, it consisted of only ten individuals and hence
the results cannot be fully generalised to the general population because of this
very small sample. Another limitation is the fact that very little literature is
available on research into divorce in South Africa and hence the researcher had to
rely on literature based largely on research abroad.

Adolescent functioning was only assessed after the divorce and hence it poses a
problem in that one is unable to assess the pre-divorce adjustment of the
individual. The current study is a brief study in which information was only
obtained through one interview and the researcher believes that an even fuller
picture may have been obtained of each subject had they been interviewed on
more than one occasion.

Data obtained on the adolescent's experiences of divorce cannot be generalised to

children from other age groups which would lead to the suggestion of further
research being carried out on the effects of divorce on children at various different
age levels. The researcher chose to give restricted focus to many variables as
opposed to focusing in depth into fewer variables which may have given a more
comprehensive picture of the various aspects chosen.

Limitations mentioned by Barber and Eccles (1992) includes the fact that research
on divorce is notable for its use of problematic samples. They claim that they are
often "small, unrepresentative populations of clinic patients, who are more likely to
be more distressed as opposed to a random sample of children whose parents
have divorced." (p.112) They continue that "samples are also predominately drawn
from white middle class families (Hess & Camara, 1979; Hetherington, Cox &
Cox, 1979, in B. Barber & J. Eccles, 1992) and findings from these studies may
not be generalisable to other ethnic and economic groups. Even when randomly
selected samples are used, it is rare that the sample is large enough to do complex,
multivariate analyses." (p.112)
 113

The current research does avoid many of the above mentioned limitations. For
example, this sample was drawn randomly and consisted of children from different
ethnic groups. The researcher feels this is a positive aspect of the current study
and one which should be utilised more often in future research as it is a more
representative sample of the South African population.

7.2 Recommendations and suggestions for future research

The present research study highlighted the fact that parents should be made aware
of the distress which adolescents experience when their parents divorce. Informal
and formal support systems for their children should be explored and used. Parents
need to be made aware of the importance of being honest and open with their
adolescent children. They should talk openly about what is happening in the family
and prepare their children for divorce before any major changes take place, such as
one parent moving out.

Special attention should be given to future living arrangements, including that of

the non- custodial parent; frequency and locality of contact with the non-custodial
parent; financial position of the family and how to tell and explain the divorce to
the children's friends and other significant individuals.

Teachers should be more aware of adolescents in their classes who are

experiencing the distress of parental divorce. They should be understanding and
offer their support and help to the child.

Professionals who are involved with adolescents from divorced households should
encourage frequent contact with the non-custodial parent and they should
encourage parents to maintain a co-operative and, if possible, amicable relationship
in the best interests of the adolescents involved. Adolescents should be supported
and allowed to experience feelings of sadness and confusion. It is important that
they realise that these feelings are to be expected.

Counseling interventions should be focused on parenting practices after the divorce.

Helping parents re-establish consistent family rules, predictable expectations, firm
guidance and control, as well as helping them restore warm and harmonious
relationships with their children, should yield dividends despite the legacy of a
troubled marriage.

Mental health practitioners may need to look more carefully at adolescents who
are described as being a wonderful support and comfort to their parents after the
divorce. These sensitive and responsive children are often not seen by their parents
as being emotionally or behaviorally distressed. However, they may become
overburdened by family demands and less able to experience their own needs and
feelings.
 114

Future research into the effects of parental divorce on adolescent boys could be
useful when comparing the different reactions between the two genders.
Researchers could also focus more attention on investigating the experiences of
divorce amongst children of other age groups.

The researcher feels the following statement by Braude and Francisco-La Grange
(1993) is very apt in summing up:

Adjustment to a transitional crisis, for example, divorce, is a dynamic

process which involves an ongoing interaction of interpersonal, intrapersonal
and situational components. (p.58)

It is hoped that the findings of the current study as well as the limitations that
were mentioned and recommendations that were outlined will help and guide all
those individuals who are involved either professionally or personally with
adolescents from divorced homes toward the primary goal of maximising support
and hence facilitating the reorganisation and health of the family.
REFERENCES

Allen-Meares, P. (1987). Depression in childhood and

adolescence. Social Work, 32(6), 512-516.

Barber, B. & Eccles, J. (1992, January). Long-term influences of

divorce and single-parenting on adolescent family- and work-
related values, behaviours and aspirations. Psychological
Bulletin, 3(1), 108-126.

Barnard, A.H., Cronje, D.S.P., & Olivier, P.J.J. (1988). Die Suid-
Afrikaanse persone en familie reg. Durban: Butterworth.

Berman, C. (1991). A hole in my heart. New York: Simon &

Schuster.

Berner, R.T. (1992). Parents whose parents were divorced. New

York: Haworth Press.

Beumont, P.J.V. & Hamshire, A. (Eds.) (1989). Textbook of

Psychiatry. Melbourne: Blackwell.

Beyers, D. & Olivier, L. (1992, October). Researcher and

research: Inescapable emotional impact. Geneeskunde, 34(9),
28-30

Beyers, D., Visser, M.J., & Marchetti, M.C. (1992, October). The
family context: Processes and interaction in family murder.
Geneeskunde, 34(9), 3-7.

Bilge, B. & Kaufman, G. (1983). Children of divorce and one-

parent families: A cross-cultural perspective. Family Relations.
32, pp. 59-71.

Black, A.E. & Pedro-Carroll, J. (1993, September). Role of

parental-child relationships in mediating the effects of marital
disruption. Journal of the American Academy of Child and
Adolescent Psychiatry, 32, pp. 1019-1027.

Bonkowski, S.E., Boomhower, S., & Bequette, S.Q. (1984,

March). A group design to help children adjust to parental
divorce. Social Casework: A Journal of Contemporary Social Work,
65, pp. 131-137.
 116

Borrine, M.L., Handal, P.J., Brown, N.Y., & Searight, H.R. (1991,
October). Family conflict and adolescent adjustment in intact,
divorced and blended families. Journal of Consulting and
Clinical Psychology, 59, pp. 753-755.

Braude, D. & Francisco-La Grange, F.H. (1993). Support systems

in the life situation of children of divorce. Pretoria: HSRC.

Buchanan, C., Maccoby, E., & Dornbusch, S.M. (1991, October).

Caught between parents: Adolescents' experience in divorced
homes. Child Development, 62, pp. 1008-1029.

Burgess, R.G. (1982). The unstructured interview as a conversation.

In R.G. Burgess (Ed.), Field research: A sourcebook and field
manual. London: George Allen and Unwin.

Carson, R.C., Butcher, J.N. & Coleman, J.C. (1988). Abnormal

psychology and modern life. Illinois: Scott, Foresman and Co.

Chiriboga, D.A. & Catron, L.S. (1987). Divorce: Crisis, challenge

or relief. New York: New York University Press.

Coleman, M. & Ganong, L. (1987). An evaluation of the

stepfamily. Self-help literature for children and adolescents.
Family Relations, 36, pp. 61-65.

Conger, J.J. (1991). Adolescence and youth: Psychological

development in a changing world. New York: Harper Collins
Publishers Inc.

Cotterill, P. & Letherby, G. (1994). The 'person' in the researcher. In

R.G. Burgess (Ed.), Studies in qualitative methodology: Issues in
qualitative research. England: Jai Press Inc.

Cull, J.G. & Hardy, R.E. (1974). Deciding on divorce. USA:

Charles C. Thomas Publisher.

Despert, L. (1962). Children of divorce. New York: Dolphin

Books.

Diamond, S.A. (1985). Helping children of divorce: A handbook

for parents and teachers. New York: Schocken Books.
 117

Doherty, W.J. & Needle, R.H. (1991, April). Psychological

adjustment and substance use among adolescents before and
after a parental divorce. Child Development, 62, pp. 328-337.

Enos, D. & Handal, P.J. (1987, December). Relation of sex and age of
white adolescents at the time of parental divorce to the
youths' perception of family climate and psychological
adjustment. Psychological Reports, 61, pp. 699-705.

Everett, C.A. (1991). The consequences of divorce:

Economic and custodial impact on children and adults. New
York: The Haworth Press, Inc.

Fisher, E.O. (1982). Impact of divorce on the extended family.

New York: Haworth Press.

Forehand, R., McCombs, A., Long, N., Brody, G., & Fauber, B.
(1988, August). Early adolescent adjustment to recent parental
divorce: the role of interparental conflict and adolescent sex
as mediating variables. Journal of Consulting and Clinical
Psychology, 56, pp. 624-627.

Forehand, R. & McCombs, A. (1989, April). The nature of

interparental conflict of married and divorced parents:
Implications for young adolescents. Journal of Abnormal Child
Psychology, 17, pp. 235-249.

Forehand, R., Thomas, A.M., Wierson, M., Brody, G., & Fauber, R.
(1990, August). Role of maternal functioning and parenting skills
in adolescent functioning following parental divorce. Journal
of Abnormal Psychology, 99, pp. 278-283.

Forehand, R., Wierson, M., Thomas, A., Fauber, R., Armistead, L.,
Kempton, T., & Long, N. (1991, February). A short-term
longitudinal examination of young adolescent functioning
following divorce: the role of family factors. Journal of Abnormal
Child Psychology, 19, pp. 97-111.

Freud, A. (1958). Adolescence. Psychoanalytic Study of

Children. 13, pp. 255-278.

Gardner, R.A. (1971). The boys and _girls book about divorce.
New York: Bantam Books.
 118

Gardner, R. (1984). The parents book about divorce. Toronto:

Bantam Books.

Gordon, J. (1993). If my parents are getting divorced, why am

I the one who hurts? Michigan: Zondervan Publishing House.

Grollman, E. (1975). Talking About Divorce. Boston: Beacon Press.

Harvey, J. (1994). Researching major life events. In R.G. Burgess

(Ed.), Studies in qualitative methodology: Issues in qualitative
research. England: Jai Press Inc.

Hetherington, E.M., Cox, M., & Cox, R. (1977). Beyond father

absence: Conceptualization of effects of divorce. In E.M.
Hetherington & R. Parke (Eds.), Contemporary Readings in
Child Psychology. New York: McGraw Hill.

Houghton, M. (1992). Children and divorce. Arizona: Family

Centre.

Hutchinson, R.L. & Spangler-Hirsh, S.L. (1989). Children of

divorce and single parent lifestyles: Facilitating well-being. In
C.A. Everett (Ed.), Children of divorce: Developmental and
clinical issues. New York: The Haworth Press.

Johnson, J. (1975). Doing field research. New York: The Free Press.

Johnson, L. & Rosenfeld, G. (1990). Divorced kids. New York:

Ball antine Books.

Johnston, J. (1990). Role diffusion and role reversal:

Structural variations in divorced families and children's
functioning. Family Relations, 39, pp. 405-413.

Kaye, S.H. (1989). The impact of divorce on childrens academic performance. In

C.A. Everett (Ed.), Children of divorce: Developmental and clinical issues. New York:
The Haworth Press.

Kelly, J.B. (1988). Longer-term adjustment in children of

divorce: Converging findings and implications for practice.
Journal of Family Psychology, 2(2), 119-136.

Kimball, G. (1994). How to survive your parents' divorce: Kids

 119

advice to kids. USA: Equality Press.

Lansky, V. (1989). Vicky Lansky's divorce book for parents:

Helping, your children cope with divorce and its aftermath.
New York: Penguin Books.

Lauer, J.C. & Lauer, R.H. (1991). The long-term relational

consequences of problematic family backgrounds. Family
Relations, 40, pp. 289-290.

Laufer, M. (1977). A view of adolescent pathology. In S.C.

Feinstein & P. Giovacchini (Eds.), Adolescent Psychiatry. New
York: Jason Aronson.

Lefkowitz, M.M. & Jesiny, E.P. (1984). Rejection and

depression: Prospective and contemporaneous analyses.
Developmental Psychology, 20 (5), 776-785.

Lofland, J. & Lofland, L.H. (1995). Analysing social settings: A guide

to qualitative observation and analysis. USA: Wadsworth
Publishing Co.

Lohr, R. (1988, Summer). Divorced parents and adolescent girls: The

bouncing ball. Clinical Social Work Journal, 16, pp. 180-193.

Long, N., Forehand, R., Fauber, R., & Brody, G. (1987, March). Self-
perceived and independently observed competence of young
adolescence as a function of parental marital conflict and
recent divorce. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 15,
pp. 15-27.

Maclay, D.T. (1970). Treatment for children. London: George

Allen and Unwin Ltd.

McCombs, A. & Forehand, R. (1989, Winter). Adolescent school

performance following parental divorce: Are there family
factors that can enhance success? Adolescence, 24(96), 871-880.

Mitchell, A. (1985). Children in the middle: Living through

divorce. New York: Methuen.

Morawetz, A. & Walker, G. (1984). Therapy with single parent

families. New York: Brunner/Mazel Publishers.
 120

Mouton, J. & Marais, H.C. (1990). Basic concepts in the

methodology of the social sciences. Pretoria: HSRC.

Neighbors, B., Forehand, R., & Armistead, L. (1992, Fall). Is parental

divorce a critical stressor for young adolescents? Grade point
average as a case in point. Adolescence, 27(107), 639-646.

Parkinson, L. (1987). Separation, divorce and families. London:

MacMillan Education Ltd.

Palosaari, U. & Aro, H. (1994, Fall). Effects of timing of parental

divorce on the vulnerability of children to depression in
young adulthood. Adolescence, 29(115), 681-690.

Ricci, I. (1980). Mom's house, Dad's house: Making shared

custody work. New York: Collier Books.

Rowlands, P. (1980). Saturday parent. London: George Allen &

Unwin Ltd.

Rutter, M. (1974). The quality of mothering: Maternal

deprivation. England: Penguin Books.

Schurink, W.J., de Jongh van Arkel, J.T., & Roos, J.L. (1992,
September). Methodological account of the execution of
qualitative methods in the family murder study. Geneeskunde,
34(8), 13-24.

Secunda, V. (1993). Women and their fathers. Great Britain:

Reed Consumer Books Ltd.

Shaw, D., Emery, R.E., & Tuer, M.D. (1993, February). Parental
funtioning and children's adjustment in families of divorce: a
prospective study. Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, 21,
pp. 119-134.

Slater, E.J. & Haber, J.D. (1984, October). Adolescent adjustment

following divorce as a function of familial conflict. Journal of
Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 52, pp. 920-921.

Springer, C. (1991, Winter). Clinical work with adolescents and their

parents during family transitions: Transference and
countertransference issues. Clinical Social Work Journal, 19,
pp. 405-415
 121

Stark, K.D., Humphrey, L.L., Crook, K., & Lewis, K. (1990).

Perceived family environments of depressed and anxious
children: Child's and maternal figure's perspectives. Journal
of Abnormal Child Psychology, 18(5), 527-547.

Stern Peck, J. (1989). Impact of divorce on children at various

stages of the family life cycle. In C.A. Everett (Ed.), Children
of divorce: Developmental and clinical issues. New York: The
Haworth Press.

Stinson, K.M. (1992, Spring). Adolescents, family and friends: Social

support after parents' divorce or remarriage. Adolescence, 27,
p. 240.

Sykes, J.B. (Ed.) (1976). The Concise Oxford Dictionary (6th ed.).
Oxford: Oxford University Press.

Teyber, E. (1992). Helping children cope with divorce. New York:

Lexington Books.

The Committee on the Family Group for Advancement of

Psychiatry. (1980). Divorce, child custody and the family.
USA: Jossey-Bass Publishers.

Van Staden, S. (1987). My huwelik het misluk. Cape Town:

Owen Burgess.

Van Wyk, G. & la Cock, A. (1988). Divorce in South Africa.

Cape: Timmins Publishers.

Walker, T. (1994). The development of a programme on coping with

divorce. Unpublished dissertation, Rand Afrikaans University, Johannesburg.

Wallerstein, J. (1985). The overburdened child: Some long-term

consequences of divorce. Social Work, 30, pp. 116-123.

Wallerstein, J. (1991). The long-term effects of divorce on

children: A review. American Academy of Child and
Adolescent Psychology Journal, 30(3).

Wallerstein, J. & Blakeslee, S. (1989). Second chances: Men,

women and children - A decade after divorce. Great Britain:
Bantam Books.
 122

Wallerstein, J. & Kelly, J. (1974). The Effects of Parental

Divorce: The Adolescent Experience. In E.J. Anthony & C.
Koupernik (Eds.), The child in his family: Children at
psychiatric risk vol. 3. USA: John Wiley & Sons. pp. 479-506.

Wallerstein, J. & Kelly, J. (1976). Effects of parental divorce:

Experiences of the child in later latency. American Journal
of Orthopsychiatry, 46(2).

Wallerstein, J. & Kelly, J. (1977). Brief interventions with

children in divorcing families. American Journal of
Orthopsychiatry, 47(1), 23-29.

Wallerstein, J. & Kelly, J. (1980). Surviving the break-up. USA:

Basic Books.

Wentzel, A. (1993). Assisting parents through the turmoil of

divorce. South Africa: Watermark.

Whyte, W.F. (1984). Learning from the field: A guide from

experience. USA: Sage Publications.

Wilkinson, M. (1981). Children and divorce. London: Blackwell.

 APPENDIX A
INTERVIEW GUIDE
Biographical details

Name
Age
Date of birth
Date of interview
Age at time of parents divorce
School
Standard

Family
Who is in your family?
Tell me about each member?
Who do you get on best/worst with?
Which parent do you live with?

Siblings

Do you get on with your brothers and/or sisters?

What are their ages?
Do they ever fight with or bother you?
Was there ever a time when you got on better or worse?

Divorce

What do you understand by the word 'divorce'

What were things like before your parents got divorced?
What problems did your mother and father have?
How old were you when you were first told of the divorce or separation?
Who told you?
What did they tell you?
How do you feel they should have told you? (Anything different?)
Do you remember what your reaction was?
How did you feel at the time?
How do you feel now?
What changed after they told you?
Did life become harder/easier after the divorce? Why?
Was there anything particularly good or bad about the divorce?
Who got custody of you ? What does that mean?
When did it actually 'hit' you that your parents were getting divorced?
 124

What did you feel at that stage?

Who did you first tell about the divorce?
What was it like telling somebody else?
How did your friends react towards you?
What do you feel helped and/or hindered you most during that time?
Who do you feel gave you the most support?
Do you know anyone else whose parents are divorced??

Extended family

Do you have any grand-parents?

Tell me about them
Where do they live?
How often do you see them?
What is your relationship like with them?
Is there anyone else in the family who you haven't mentioned and who you are close
to?

Social and Play Activities

Whom do you spend most of your time with?

How many friends do you have?
Who is your best friend?
Where do they live?
Do your friends come to your house?
Do you go to their houses?
Are any of their parents divorced?
How does that make you feel?
Did you have more or less friends before the divorce?
Do you feel you are different in any way from your friends?
Have you ever felt: rejected by peers/friends?
laughed at?
not part of the group?
bullied by others?
shy?
like being cruel to others?
that you act too old or too young for your age?
like arguing alot
restless or unable to concentrate?
lonely and/or sad?
overtired?
irritable?
Do you ever get: tummy aches? If so, how often?
headaches? If so, how often?
What are your eating habits like?
 125

Do you ever go on diet?

Do you ever binge and vomit?

Do you ever starve yourself or take laxatives?

What do you like doing for fun?
Who do you do these things with?
Do you play sport? If so, what sport?
Do you watch a lot of TV? What is your favourite program?
What hobbies do you have?

School

Do you like school?

What do you like best and least about school?
Do you have any problems at school?
Have you ever failed a standard or skipped a year?
What are your marks like?
Are they better or worse than before your parents got divorced?
Why do you think that is?
Do you ever get into trouble at school?
Have you ever copied anyone elses homework or cheated in a test and/or exam?
Have you ever bunked school?
Do you or have you ever tried to smoke cigarettes; dagga or drink alcohol?
Have you ever stolen anything valuable or been in any physical fights?
How many times have you changed schools? Why?
Do you get on with your teachers?
Do they know your parents are divorced?
Did your teacher help you at all when your parents got divorced?
If you had to pick one thing about yourself - an accomplishment, skill or event -
which are you most proudest of, what would you choose?

Relationship with mother and father

What was your relationship with each parent like before the divorce?
And after the divorce?
Who do you feel you get on better with? Why?
What are your parents like?
Are you able to speak to one or both parents about the divorce and other such
issues?
What fun things do you do with mom and dad?
What things does your mom do best as a parent? And your Dad?
What would you like them to do differently?
Who do you go to if you have a problem?
 126

Religion

What religion are you ?

Do you attend church or synagogue?
Who takes you?
What religion are your parents?
Do you feel your religion has helped or hindered you at any time during the
divorce or before or after?
Do you think differently about God and your religion since the divorce?

Daily Routine

Tell me about a typical weekday?

Who gets up first?
Who gets breakfast?
Who takes lunch?
Who cooks dinner?
What time do you get to bed?
Tell me about a typical weekend?
What happens then?
How do mornings or nights go?
Do you ever crawl into bed with your mom or dad?
Do you have chores to do around the house?
What type of things?
Do you get pocket money? How much? What do you spend it on?
What are the rules of the house? e.g. bedtime/friends/TV
What makes your mom or dad cross?
What happens then? Do you ever get punished?

Relationships

Do you have a boyfriend?

How do you feel around boys?
Do you have brothers and/or male friends and/or male cousins?
If you had a problem or questions about a boy who would you speak to?
Do you want to get married?

Looking back on the divorce, what do you feel should have been done differently?
What is it like living with a single parent?
Which do you think is worse, death of a parent or divorce? Why?
Who do you feel you should live with? Why?
Who do you think should decide where you live?
Have you spoken to anyone about this before?
What do you feel can help other teenagers and children going through a divorce?