The Third Word: Jesus and Mary are together again, at the
“Dear woman, here is your son.”
(John 19:26)
Reflection
As Jesus was dying, his mother was among
those who had remained with him. Most of
the male disciples had fled, with the
exception of one whom the Fourth Gospel
calls “the disciple he loved.” We can’t be
exactly sure of the identity of this beloved
disciple, though many interpreters believe he
is John, who is also the one behind the
writing of this Gospel.
No matter who the beloved disciple was, it’s
clear that Jesus was forging a relationship
between this disciple and his mother, one in
which the disciple would take care of Mary
financially and in other ways. Jesus wanted
to make sure she would be in good hands
after his death.
The presence of Mary at the cross adds both
humanity and horror to the scene. We are
reminded that Jesus was a real human
being, a man who had once been a boy who
had once been carried in the womb of his
mother. Even as he was dying on the cross
as the Savior of the world, Jesus was also a
son, a role he didn’t neglect in his last
moments.
When we think of the crucifixion of Jesus
from the perspective of his mother, our
horror increases dramatically. The death of a
child is one of the most painful of all parental
experiences. To watch one’s beloved child
experience the extreme torture of crucifixion
must have been unimaginably terrible. We’re
reminded of the prophecy of Simeon shortly
after Jesus’ birth, when he said to Mary:
“And a sword will pierce your very soul”
(Luke 2:35).
This scene helps us not to glorify or
spiritualize the crucifixion of Jesus. He was a
real man, true flesh and blood, a son of a
mother, dying with unbearable agony. His
suffering was altogether real, and he took it
on for you and for me.
Questions for Reflection
What does Mary’s presence at the cross
evoke in you? Why do you think was it
necessary for Jesus to suffer physical pain as
he died?
THE THIRD WORD
"Jesus said to his mother:
"Woman, this is your son."
Then he said to the disciple:
"This is your mother."
Gospel of John 19:26-27
beginning of his ministry in Cana and now at
the end of his public ministry at the foot of the
Cross. What sorrow must fill her heart, to see
her Son mocked, tortured, and crucified. Once
again, a sword pierces Mary's soul: we are
reminded of the prediction of Simeon at the
Temple (Luke 2:35) . There are four at the
foot of the cross, Mary his Mother, John, the
disciple whom he loved, Mary of Cleopas, his
mother's sister, and Mary Magdalene. He
addresses his third word to Mary and John,
the only eye-witness of the Gospel writers.
But again Jesus rises above the occasion, and
his concerns are for the ones that love him.
The good son that He is, Jesus is concerned
about taking care of his mother. In fact, this
passage offers proof that Jesus was the only
child of Mary, because if he did have brothers
or sisters, they would have provided for her.
But Jesus looks to John to care for her.
St. Joseph is noticeably absent. The historic
paintings, such as Tondodoni by Michelangelo
and The Holy Family by Raphael, suggest
Joseph was a considerably older man. St.
Joseph had probably died by the time of the
crucifixion, or else he would have been the
one to take care of Mary. Early Christian
traditions and the second-century apocryphal
Protoevangelium of James held that Joseph
was a widower, and his children by his former
wife were the "brothers and sisters of Jesus."
Another striking phrase indicating Jesus was
an only child is Mark 6:3, referring to Jesus:
"Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary, and
the brother of James and Joses and Judas and
Simon, and are not his sisters here with us?"
Now if James, Joses and Judas and Simon
were also natural sons of Mary, Jesus would
not have been called the "son of Mary," but
rather "one of the sons of Mary."
Final Words of a
Family Man
– John 19:25-27
April 1991 – This is the third saying of Jesus
as he hung on the cross. It is sometime
between 9 A.M. and 12 noon on Friday in
Jerusalem. A motley crowd has gathered at
Skull Hill to watch the goings-on.
“Near the cross of Jesus stood his mother, his
mother’s sister, Mary, the wife of Clopas, and
Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother
there, and the disciple whom he loved standing
nearby, he said to his mother, ’Dear woman,
here is your son.’ And to the disciple, ’Here is
your mother.’ From that time on this disciple
took her into his home.”
Mother Mary
Mary is older now. The years have passed.
Jesus has grown up. Mary has grown older too.
She might be in her early 50s. Or she might be
55 now. She could even be 60 or 65. She’s not
a young girl anymore. She’s not a teenager
anymore. She’s long past the childbearing
years. She’s past her 20s, past her 30s, past
her 40s. She’s a widow now. I think that’s
certain. Joseph is gone. Somewhere between
the time Jesus was twelve and the time he
began his ministry Joseph seems to have
dropped off the scene. Mary’s alone now. She’s
older now. Her shoulders are stooped a little
bit. And there are a few silver threads among
the gold. Those carefree days of youth are
gone forever.
She stands at the cross with two other women
and John the apostle. And on the cross, her
first born son. She watched as they beat him.
She heard with the ear of a mother the
screams, the cries of agony as she watched
her son being tortured to death. She couldn’t
lift a finger to help him. She heard the swear
words of the crowd. The blasphemy. She
watched as they walked by and slapped him
and beat him and cursed him. And she could
do nothing about it.
Jesus’ Last Will and
Testament
Only those who have watched a loved one die
could even begin to understand what it means
for Mary to be at the cross that day. As the
hours pass and the agony increases she looks
at her son, just a shell of the man he used to
be, beaten almost beyond recognition, writhing
in pain. And the crowd loving it. And in those
hours suddenly the cry comes from the cross,
Jesus looking down sees his mother Mary and
sees John standing next to her and cries out
from the cross, “Woman, Dear Woman,
Mother, behold your son.” (speaking of John)
and to John, “Behold your mother.” The Bible
says that when Jesus said those words from
the cross, immediately, from that very hour,
John took Mary, the mother of Jesus into his
own home.
We wouldn’t understand at first reading the
significance of those words. But in Jewish
thought the instructions of a dying man were
of the same sort as if they were written on a
piece of paper. So when Jesus cried out,
“Woman, behold your son” and “Son, behold
your mother", it is as if Jesus were writing his
own last will and testament and executing it
right there. Jesus was saying to his mother,
“Mom, I’m leaving you now and I’m not going
to be able to take care of you after I’m gone.
Mom, there’s nothing else I can do for you.
You see John. John will be to you as I was to
you. He will be the son you need.” “John, do
you see my mother? Take care of her after I’m
gone. Do for her what I would do if I were still
alive.”
You ask, why in the
midst of all his agony
would Jesus even say
something like this? It is
because even though he
is dying in terrible,
agonizing torture upon
the cross, he is fulfilling
the most basic
responsibility and the
most sacred obligation
that any son ever had.
He is making sure that
his mother is cared for.
A Dying Son’s Request
What does the Bible say? He was a Jew. He
was raised under the Law. He knew the fifth
commandment, “Honor your father and
mother.”
It’s not as if Jesus had a lot of options at this
point hanging on the cross. He knew that he
would be dead within just a matter of hours.
He couldn’t give his mother any money for he
had no money to give her. He couldn’t say,
“Mom, when I get off this cross I’ll spend some
time with you,” because he had no time left to
spend. He couldn’t say, “Mother, in a week or
two we’ll take a trip together, just the two of
us.” He couldn’t do that. All he could do in his
dying moments was to fulfill that final
obligation to be sure that his mother was taken
care of after he was gone.
You say, what is the truth here? The truth is
this. Although Jesus was about the business of
saving the world he was not too busy to care
for his parents.
I draw from this simple story three
applications.
1. No one is ever discharged from
that sacred obligation.
Our Lord has left the pattern for us to
see. Though you be about the business of
saving the world, though you be a
Christian committed to spreading the
gospel to the ends of this earth, you are
not now, nor will you ever be, discharged
from the sacred obligation to care for
your parents. Not now, not tomorrow, not
ever. If our Lord Jesus, hanging in agony,
remembered his mother at the very end
of his life, then so should we. No one here
is ever discharged from that sacred and holy
obligation.
2. When you can’t do anything else
for the people you love, you
can at least tell them, “I love
you.”
That’s what Jesus was saying on the cross.
“Mom, I can’t come down. Mom, they’re going
to kill me. Mom, I’m a dead man but I want
you to be cared for and before I die I want you
to know that I love you.”
3. No matter what you do in this
life, you can hardly be
considered a success if in your
rapid climb to the top you
neglect to care for your
parents.
Did you hear what I said? No matter what else
you do in this life you can hardly be considered
a success if in your climb to the top you
neglect to care for your parents.
It’s hard to explain this to kids. This is a
principle that’s hard to put into words.
Worse Than An Unbeliever
Here’s the principle as I understand it. We all
know that the Bible says, “Honor your father
and mother.” The New Testament says,
“Children obey your parents.” I think it’s true
that once you leave your home there will be
times you will not be able to obey your
parents. We all understand that. But there is
never a time when it’s okay not to honor your
parents. Obey—not always. Honor—always and
forever. No one is discharged from that
obligation.
If you ever use your Christianity as a reason
not to take care of your parents, you’re worse
than an unbeliever. If you are a new Christian
and your parents have not followed you in the
faith, if you use that as a reason not to love
them and care for them and honor them, you
know nothing of what the Christian faith is all
about.
We want to save the world, don’t we? We can
save the world, but while we’re saving the
world, let’s take the time to do what Jesus did.
Don’t ever use your great calling as an excuse
to get out of your basic moral obliga-tions. If
the Lord Jesus Christ—beaten, bruised and
bloody—if he had time for his parents while he
was on the way to saving the world, then you
have time for yours. That’s a sacred principle
of Scripture.
Three Action Steps
What do you do and where do you begin? Let
me give you three action steps this morning.
1. If you really want to take this
word to heart, go to your
parents and tell them you love
them.
Some of you ought to make a phone call
today. Some of you ought to write a note
today. Some of you ought to say “I love you.”
You really ought to do it. It’s been too long
since you’ve done it. Listen, if you’re too busy
to love your parents, you’re too busy. If you’re
too busy to honor your parents, you’re too
busy. If you’ve filled your life with so much
good stuff that you have no time for the
people who brought you into this world, you’ve
filled your life with a bunch of junk. You need
to change what you’re filling your life with.
That’s number one—go to your parents and tell
them you love them. Do it while you have the
chance.
2. If you can’t honor them while
they are alive, you can remember
them after they die.
This touches many of us whose parents have
already died. What do you do then? The Bible
never says, “Honor your parents only as long
as they are alive.” You are supposed to honor
your parents as long as you are alive whether
they are alive or not. How do you do that?
Remember them. Remember your mother and
your father. Isn’t it true that the worst fear we
have is that someday we will die and people
will forget that we were ever here? One way
you honor your parents’ memory is simply by
remembering what they have done for you. I
am not ashamed to say that when I went to
Alabama I thought about my Dad. He’s been
dead for 17 years. Some-body at the First
Baptist Church who knew my father, looked at
me and said, “You’re looking more like your
dad all the time.” I can’t imagine a better
compliment than that. My Dad’s been gone but
I still love him and I honor his memory. Just by
remembering who he was and what he did.

3.If you are unable to speak good

about your parents, you can honor
them by refusing to speak evil of
them.
Many of you didn’t have a mother like Mary or
a father like Joseph. Your parents weren’t
there when you needed them. Perhaps there
was a divorce and they left you. Maybe you
don’t even know where your father and mother
are. Maybe you were abused and hurt by them
in the past. You say, “Pastor, I just can’t do
what you’re saying.” I accept that. But even if
your parents have hurt you, you are not
dismissed from the command to honor them.
Listen carefully. If you can’t do anything else,
there’s one way you can honor your parents
even if they hurt you. You can forgive them
and refuse to speak evil against them. If you
can’t do anything else, you can honor them by
refusing to speak evil of the people who
brought you into this world.