Jordyn Baker 

Dr. Haslam 
ENGL 1010 
September 9, 2019 
Revised Draft 

 
Revive 

It was a warm, sunny summer day. Little fourth grade me had just come home from 

swimming lessons tired and irritable. I walked inside and noticed that my mom was acting a little 

weird. She had been sick for weeks, constantly coughing, feeling nauseous, and sweating 

excessively with clammy skin. When she went to the doctor she was told that it was nothing 

more than pneumonia, was given antibiotics, and sent on her way. 

“Are you hungry?” my mom asked in her raspy, sick voice. Sweat was dripping down her 

forehead and I could tell that she wasn’t feeling well. 

“No, I’m okay,” I said, “you should really go lie down. Are you feeling alright?” At this 

point, she was leaning over the kitchen table breathing heavily with her head down as if she were 

going to hurl. 

“I’ll make you some chicken noodle soup. I could use some myself,” she insisted. 

As she was cooking, I could tell something was wrong. Her face was as white as a ghost, 

and she was sweating buckets. Her breathing was labored and shallow. She walked dizzily into 

the living room and fell to the floor. She started seizing and stopped breathing. 

“Mom! Mom!” I yelled. She was unconscious.  

 
 I sprinted out the front door and across the street as I tried to see through my tears. I 

caught my neighbor right before he was about to get in his car. He was a cop, so I thought if 

anyone knew what to do it would be him.  

“Mike! My mom isn’t breathing!” I said through a sob. And without saying a word he 

sprinted inside. 

“Call 911!” he said when he realized what was going on. As he started chest 

compressions on my lifeless mother, I ran to find a phone. 

“911, what’s your emergency?” the dispatcher asked calmly. 

I didn’t fully understand what had happened but I tried to explain the best that I could, 

“My mom isn’t breathing! She’s on the floor, and she’s not waking up!” I said through a 

screaming sob. 

“Okay honey, what’s your address,” she asked. I honestly didn’t know and I was too 

stressed to recall. All I was trying to do was remember how to breathe normally and stop crying. 

There was a long pause as I tried to think.  

The dispatcher continued, “It’s going to be okay sweetie, but I need you to tell me where 

you are.” I was still sobbing.  

The neighbor’s wife came running in and I gave the phone to her. She gave the dispatcher 

our address and emergency responders were on their way. 

The sound of sirens approached rapidly and got louder and louder. When the ambulance 

arrived, the EMTs ran inside and took over for my neighbor who was still doing CPR. They 
loaded her onto the stretcher and into the ambulance. She had a breathing mask over her face and 

electrical pads stuck to her chest to restart her heart, which had already stopped a few times.  

I watched them take my mom away as I sat and sobbed on my neighbor’s porch. My 

brothers had been taking a nap during all of this and were still unaware of what was going on.  

“Where’s mom?” my brother asked groggily while rubbing his eyes. He was very upset 

that we woke him up from his precious nap. 

“She’s going to the hospital,” my neighbor said, “your grandma is coming to get you to 

take you to the hospital.” 

My grandparents rushed over and took my brothers and me to the Jordan Valley Hospital 

where we met my dad who came straight from work. 

When we got to the hospital we sat there for hours and nervously waited for someone to 

finally tell us what was going on. The clanking of keys on the receptionist’s keyboard was 

driving me insane. I sat there and watched as family member after family member arrived. The 

chair was uncomfortable, there was horrible music playing, and it smelled of hand sanitizer and 

tears. After several hours, the doctor finally came out into the waiting room. 

“Your wife had a pulmonary embolism and stroke. This means that she has a blood clot 

in her lungs and we are afraid that it might spread to her heart which would most likely be fatal. 

We think it is due to the birth control that she was taking,” the doctor said to my dad calmly, 

“she already has a significant amount of brain damage due to her lack of oxygen. We have 

already had to revive her several times. We’ll be lucky if she comes out of this able to walk or 

talk again.”  

“Well-then what can you do?” my dad asked the doctor shakily. 
 “We are going to put her body on ice and try to slow down her heart rate and blood flow. 

This should prevent the blood clot from moving to her heart,” the doctor replied. 

Patiently waiting for another update, we sat in the waiting room in silence. Tears were 

streaming down everyone’s cheeks. I was so afraid that I was going to lose my best friend and 

biggest supporter. 

The doctor came out of the ICU unit and into the waiting room where my family was 

quietly residing.  

“The blood clot has spread to her heart, and we are worried that she might not make it. 

She is currently in a medically induced coma, and we need to ask about whether you would like 

to continue life support,” the doctor said quietly. This was the first time I had ever seen my dad 

cry. 

“Is there anything else you can do?” my dad asked as tears streamed down his face. 

“There is a blood thinner injection that we can give her to try to get rid of the clot, but 

depending on how her body reacts to it, it could make it worse, but we need to act fast,” the 

doctor said with a sense of worry. 

“At this point, I don’t think it could get any worse, so let’s try the injection. It sounds like 

a matter of life and death and I cannot lose my wife,” my dad said shakily. 

They went through with the injection and it loosened the blood clot. She woke up from 

her coma and couldn’t remember anything. She couldn’t remember being sick or the last couple 

of days or how to walk or who her own kids were. It is quite a traumatizing feeling when your 

mom says that she doesn’t remember who you are.  

 

She had to learn how to live life again. She had to relearn how to walk, read, and write. I 

remember visiting her at the hospital and being amazed that my mom couldn’t do simple 

everyday tasks. To this day she still has a significant amount of brain damage and memory loss 

so she is unable to drive or work.  

Make sure to always cherish and be grateful for your loved ones because you never know 

when something might happen. I almost lost my best friend without even getting a chance to say 

goodbye.  

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
 
Original Draft 
The Embolism 

It was a warm, sunny summer day. Little fourth grade me had just come home from 

swimming lessons and my mom was acting a little weird. She had been sick for weeks, but the 

doctor had told her that it was just pneumonia and sent her on her way. I can tell you right now, 

it was not pneumonia.  

“Are you hungry?” my mom asked in her raspy voice. Sweat was dripping down her 

forehead and I could tell that she wasn’t feeling well. 

“No, I’m okay,” I said, “you should really go lie down. Are you feeling alright?” At this 

point, she was leaning over the kitchen table with her head down as if she were going to hurl. 

“I’ll make you some chicken noodle soup. I could use some myself,” she insisted. 

As she was cooking, I could tell something was wrong. Her face was as white as a ghost, 

and she was sweating buckets. Her breathing was labored and shallow. She walked dizzily into 
the living room and hit the floor. She started seizing and making noises that almost sounded like 

snoring because she couldn’t breathe. 

“Mom! Mom!” I yelled. She was unconscious.  

I quickly ran across the street as I tried to see through my tears. I caught my neighbor 

right before he was about to get in his car. He was a cop, so I thought if anyone knew what to do 

it would be him.  

“Mike! My mom isn’t breathing!” I said through a sob. And without saying a word he 

sprinted inside. 

“Call 911!” he said when he realized what was going on. As he started chest 

compressions on my lifeless mother I ran to find a phone. 

“911, what’s your emergency?” the dispatcher asked calmly. 

I didn’t fully understand what had happened but I tried to explain the best that I could, 

“My mom isn’t breathing! She’s on the floor, and she’s not waking up!” I gave the dispatcher my 

address and emergency responders were on their way. 

The sound of sirens approached rapidly and got louder and louder. When the ambulance 

arrived, the EMTs ran inside and took over for my neighbor still doing CPR. They loaded her 

onto the stretcher and into the ambulance. She had a breathing mask over her face, and they 

started hooking up probes to restart her heart, which had already stopped a few times. I watched 

them take my mom away as I sat and sobbed on my neighbor’s porch. 

 When we got to the hospital we sat there for hours, and nervously waited for someone to 

finally tell us what was going on. I sat there and watched as family member after family member 

arrived. After several hours, the doctor finally came out into the waiting room. 

“Your wife had a pulmonary embolism and stroke​. This means that she has a blood clot 

in her lungs and we are afraid that it might spread to her heart which would most likely be fatal. 

We think it is due to the birth control that she was taking​,” the doctor said to my dad calmly, 

“she already has a significant amount of brain damage due to her lack of oxygen. We have 

already had to revive her several times. We’ll be lucky if she comes out of this able to walk or 

talk again.”  

“Well-then what can you do?” my dad asked the doctor shakily. 

“We are going to put her body on ice and try to slow down her heart rate and blood flow. 

This should prevent the blood clot from moving to her heart,” the doctor replied. 

Patiently waiting for another update, we sat in the waiting room in silence. Tears were 

streaming down everyone’s cheeks. I was so afraid that I was going to lose my best friend and 

biggest supporter. 

The doctor came out of the ICU unit and into the waiting room where my family was 

quietly residing.  

“The blood clot has spread to her heart, and we are worried that she might not make it. 

She is currently in a medically induced coma, and we need to ask about whether you would like 

to continue life support,” the doctor said quietly. This was the first time I had ever seen my dad 

cry. 

“Is there anything else you can do?” my dad asked as tears streamed down his face. 
 “There is a blood thinner injection that we can give her to try to get rid of the clot, but 

depending on how her body reacts to it, it could make it worse,” the doctor said with a sense of 

worry. 

“At this point, I don’t think it could get any worse, so let’s try the injection. It sounds like 

a matter of life and death and I can’t lose my wife,” my dad said shakily. 

They went through with the injection and it loosened the blood clot. She woke up from 

her coma and couldn’t remember anything. She couldn’t remember being sick or the last couple 

of days or how to walk or who her own kids were. It is quite a traumatizing feeling when your 

mom says that she doesn’t remember who you are.  

She had to learn how to live life again. She had to relearn how to walk, read, and write. 

To this day she still has a significant amount of brain damage and memory loss so she is unable 

to drive or work.  

Make sure to always cherish and be grateful for your loved ones because you never know 

when something might happen. I almost lost my best friend without even getting a chance to say 

goodbye.