1/31/2020 Conflict

Essential Spirit
Rosanne A. Bostonian, Ph.D., RMT
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Rosanne Bostonian Sep 6, 2018 2 min read

Conflict

“There is never a conflict with person or condition, but rather a false concept mentally
entertained about person, thing, circumstance, or condition. Therefore, make the correction
within yourself, rather than attempting to change anyone or anything in the without.”
-Joel S. Goldsmith Infinite Way, Wisdoms

Western thinking embraces the notion that being “right,” is winning. He/She who is right
wins. He/She who is wrong loses. We all want to win…sometimes at great cost.

In my psychology career, I would ask couples “Do you want to be right, or do you want to be
married!?” Most would say “both!” And furthermore, if their partner would just acknowledge
their rightness, there would be no conflict.

Joel Goldsmith’s teachings emphasize the view that our lives are simply out-picturings of our
own consciousness and the conflicts we envision are unresolved snags within us. What I
believe strongly is that the first stop when discord appears is within one’s own inner
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contemplative place. To dive into the outer projection and try to fix it is like running up to the
screen in the moving theater and trying to change parts of the movie you don’t like!

If conflict appears, go within. Only speak from a place of peace where you have prepared a
welcoming place of learning. Conflict is an “activating event.” It requires space to create full
presence. If we entertain that everything that appears, even conflict, is an opportunity to
self-reflect and allow the lessons of the moment to appear, maybe we would address what
appears as conflict with gratitude and ease rather than annoyance and impatience.

By now you may be thinking of situations in which this approach would never work! Places
where you were absolutely right… What did you learn from taking the position of being the
one who is right? I would venture to say, probably not too much if the issue wasn’t evaluated
as a learning opportunity first.

With love,
Rosanne
#RosanneBostonian #selfreflection #conflict

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