Documente Academic
Documente Profesional
Documente Cultură
The song's cool with this chapter, so make sure to listen to it while you're
reading. :)
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Rule #1: Define his status. There are two kinds of guys, one is unreachable (out of
your league) and the other is reachable (kaya pang pantayan kahit papaano). Alamin
mo kung nasaang category yung gusto mong guy. Kapag nasa unreachable siya, stop
fussing over him. Kalimutan mo na. Hanggang pangarap nalang 'yan, girl. Pero kapag
nasa reachable siya, malaki pa ang pagasa mo.
Sinimulan na yung program (thank goodness). Ang simple lang pala. We just had to
answer some sort of exam with very strange questions, pang psychological talaga.
Mahigit two hours din kaming nagsasagot. Gutom na gutom na 'ko. Buti nalang, tapos
na.
They told us na they'll email us for the results by the end of the month. Matagal-
tagal pa yun, pero ayos lang. May pipiliin daw sila, and those na mapipili nila
will continue on with the project for another month. After that, tapos na talaga.
'Di nila binanggit ng diretsahan pero parang mag babayad sila dun sa mga mapipili.
Torn ako kasi baka kung anong gawin nila dun sa mga mapipili nila, pero at the same
time gusto ko din for the money. Duh. Pera din yun! Kahit na may 15k allowance ako
every month, mas masaya kung makakaipon pa 'ko noh. Matatanggap kaya ako?
Kahit na nasa school ako ngayon, it doesn't matter. Isa lang subject namin tuwing
Saturday. Tapos, favorite subject ko pa! Hoorah! 'Di lang yon, nakaporma ko today.
Nilubos ko talaga ngayon dahil masyadong naubos self-esteem ko kahapon.
Kung dati, gustong gusto kong nagpupunta sa De La Soledad . . . Ngayon, ayoko na.
Na-realize kong overrated yung place. 'Di ako belong dun. Masyadong high
maintenance mga tao. Hindi peaceful. Buti pa dito. Kahit may pagka-probinsya,
masarap simoy ng hangin.
Ahh. Nakaka-relaaax.
Buti nalang hindi ako nagaral dun. Muntik na din ah. Pero mas gusto nila mommy na
dito ko sa Tagaytay, kung saan ako nag high school. Since mag-isa lang akong
nakatira sa bahay, si Manang Judith lang ang kasama ko, ayaw nila na sa Manila ako.
Madami daw tukso.
Where are my parents? They're divorced. Halos buong high school ko inatupag nila
ang pagdi-divorce, hindi kasi pwede dito sa Pilipinas. Naayos lang nila dahil si
mommy, naging citizen na sa UK. Nasa England na siya ngayon, living with her
boyfriend. Si daddy naman nasa Cebu, with a new family. Gusto pa nga ni daddy na
dun ako tumira e. Buti nalang napilit namin ni mommy na 'wag.
Besides, I sort of like living alone. It gives me peace. Hindi katulad dati, puro
sigawan naririnig ko sa bahay.
Tumingin ako sa kanya. Ang ganda talaga nito. Hindi lang nagaayos. Buti nalang
nakita ni Ryan yung ganda niya. Ang ganda pa ng buhok, parang silk sa lambot. Pero
mukhang mataray. Mas mataray actually siya kaysa sa'kin.
Pumikit ako. Oh, my God. Kung alam niyo lang. Pero hindi e, ayaw ko sa kanya.
Unreachable siya. Hindi pwede. So I just shrugged.
Ang morenong heartthrob ng school na si Ryan ang boyfriend niya. Oha, kaya hindi
talaga dapat minamaliit mga kaibigan ko. Malakas din kamandag nila sa lalaki.
"Hindi naman ako naghahanap ng iba e," sagot ni Cass. "Tinatanong ko lang kung
totoo lahat ng sinasabi nila kay Zeo."
"Ikaw naman, Lana," said Kylee. "Isang beses palang naman kayo naguusap. Malay mo,
diba? Ayeee!"
I frowned. "Ayoko dun. Tinawag ba naman akong 'diyan'? Kapal ng mukha. Akala mo
kung sino."
"Woo," sabi ni Kylee. "Samantalang kahapon, nagwi-wish ka na sana may gwapo kang
maka-group. Oh, ayan na. Wish granted. Doble pa."
Totoo talaga yung sinasabi nilang, 'Be careful what you wish for. Because you just
might get it, and more.'
"Pwede ba?" I said. "Ang ganda ganda ng araw oh. 'Wag naman nating sirain dahil sa
dalawang ewan na yun."
"Taraaay."
A few minutes siguro ang lumipas nang may dumaang dalawang babae.
"Ay, sayang naman. Ang ganda ng kotse niya noh? Halatang mayaman. Ang swerte naman
nung babae."
"'Di bale. Magb-break din sila."
Dumilat ako. Ang harsh naman nila. Pwede namang mangarap nalang sila ah. Kailangan
talagang nega mag-isip? Inggit lang sila dun sa girl e. Mga inggitera.
"Hi, Lana!"
Gusto ko silang irapan. Kaya lang VP ako e, kaya I still had to set a good example.
So I smiled na rin kahit ayaw ko.
Tumawa si Kylee. "Oo nga. Pero kapag kami, damang dama namin ang pagtataray mo."
"Oo nga," agreed Kylee. "Baka kinakaya-kaya ka nila kasi tingin nila hindi ka
papatol."
Tama sila. Naisip ko na din yan. Thankful ako sa tough high school life ko. Dahil
sa mga nang-bully sa'kin noon, natuto akong lumaban at mangbara. Natutunan din nila
akong respetuhin simula nung lumaban ako sa kanila. Ngayon, friends na kami.
Naglakad kami palabas ng gate dahil tapos na kaming tumambay sa school. Madami nang
tao na nakakalat sa gate, uwian na kasi e. As usual, madaming bumabati sa'kin.
Binati ko din sila.
"Hindi e. May klase pa kasi siya," malungkot na sinabi ni Cass, pero agad nawala
ang bakas ng lungkot sa mukha niya sa pagtingin niya sa malayo.
Sinundan namin ni Kylee ang tingin niya. Lumaki ang mga mata ko. Ang ganda ng
kotse! Heto siguro yung sinasabi nung dalawang babae kanina. 2011 Dodge Challenger,
with blue paint and white stripes sa gitna. Hinding hindi ako magkakamali kasi
madalas akong manuod ng street races noong kami pa ni Calvin. Hindi naman racer si
Calvin, malakas lang siyang pumusta sa mga ganun.
At madalas akong makakita ng ganyang mismong kotse doon. Paminsan-minsan lang siya
sumali pero parating nanalo yun sa race.
My eyes wandered to the owner of the car. Nakasandal siya sa pintuan sa may
passenger side. Lalong lumaki ang mga mata ko.
Oliver?!
Nang makita niya ako, he straightened up. He uncrossed his arms and it looked as if
he was waiting for me to come over to him.
Rule #3: Never assume. Sabihin na niyang manhid ka, pero mas nakakahiya pa rin kung
maga-assume ka tapos mali pala. That's the problem with guys. Gusto nilang magets
mo agad without saying anything or their part. Unfair, diba? So make him SAY it.
Kapag na-frustrate ka na, tanungin mo nalang siya ng pabiro. Kapag di siya umamin,
edi hindi.
Hindi ko siya nilapitan. Kung ako talaga pinunta niya dito, siya ang lalapit. So
patuloy kami sa paglalakad - actually, hinihila ko sina Kylee at Cass paalis. I
briefly glanced at Oliver and saw him sigh . . . in exasperation, maybe?
"Oo nga! Pero bakit . . ." Lumingon si Cass sa'kin nang dahan-dahan. Lumaki bigla
ang mga mata niya sa pagkakaintindi. "Siya si Oliver?!"
Pagdilat ko, nakita kong tumaas ang kilay ni Oliver sa'min. Fudge. Narinig niya.
"Hey."
I removed my hands from my face and looked up to see Oliver right in front of me. I
realized that he was paler compared to Zeo. Para ngang mas maputi pa sa'kin e. And
his eyes were almost black, contrasting with his white skin. His black hair was a
bit long, enough for it to be swept to the side. It added more edge to his broody
look.
Naka blue shirt siya at naka leather jacket. Mukha na sana siyang bad boy, kaso
gentle yung mukha niya e. He still looks good, though.
"No, thank you," sagot ko, suot ang fake smile. "Sabihin mo nalang sa'kin ang time
and place. Susunod nalang ako kung nasaan kayo."
"Am I?"
"Oo."
"Ang dami mong sinabi," bulong niya sa sarili. "Okay na yang suot mo. Tara na."
Nakakabanas na 'tong lalaking 'to ah. Makakatikim 'to sa'kin e. Malaking pasalamat
niya at maganda kotse niya at cute siya.
Ay, oo nga pala. "Oliver, mga kaibigan ko; Cass and Kylee." Sabay tinuro ko sila.
Kumaway sila kay Oliver. "Cass, Kylee, si Oliver."
What the hell, Cass? Binigyan ko siya ng masamang tingin pero hindi siya natinag.
Nginitian niya lang ako. Ang tibay talaga nito.
Sinundan ko si Oliver sa sasakyan niya. Nagulat ako nang pinagbuksan niya ako ng
pinto. Huh. May manners din naman pala siya.
Ah, malapit-lapit lang yun. One hour and a half away lang yun if we're gonna take
Cavitex, at kung mabilis siyang mag-drive. Kaso, alam ba niya yung shortcut na yun?
I was slightly confused. "Pano mo nalaman daan na yun, e hindi ka naman taga dito?"
"GPS."
Grabe. Ang tipid niyang sumagot. Mukhang hindi naman siya bored, hindi rin galit.
Sadyang tahimik lang talaga. Mababaliw ako pag ganto kaibigan ko.
"Yeah," sabi niya. Akala ko tapos na nang biglang dagdag niya, "Ano favorite mong
kanta nila?"
Okay, we're having a normal conversation like normal people who just met. This is a
good sign, right?
"Madami e," mahinang sagot ko, habang nagiisip. "Hmm. Mga nangingibabaw yung
Radioactive, America, at Demons. Pero gustong gusto ko talaga yung It's Time.
Maganda din kasi yung meaning pati yung beat."
As if on cue, biglang tumugtog yung It's Time. Nagkatinginan kami, at sabay kaming
tumawa. Umandar na yung sasakyan sa harapan namin kaya nag-drive na uli si Oliver,
pero nakangiti pa rin siya. In fairness, ang ganda ng ngiti niya ah. Syempre, dulot
ng straight at maputing ngipin.
Nung nag-chorus na yung kanta, nahuli ko siyang sumasabay sa lyrics. Walang sounds,
pero nagmu-move yung lips niya. Tapos, yung mga daliri niya gumagalaw sa manibela
sabay dun sa beat ng music.
"Ano pang mga pinapakinggan mo?" Ayokong sirain yung moment niya, kaso curious
talaga ko e. "Any genres?"
"Acoustic, RnB, slow rock, classic rock . . . yung mga chill lang."
He chuckled. "Well, not really. Pero it sounds smooth to me. Ikaw ba?"
Napatawa ako. "Ako din. Kapag nag-out ka, ang hirap nang makabalik."
"Hindi mo binu-bookmark?"
Hindi siya sumagot. Patuloy lang siya sa drive. Napatingin ako kung nasaan na kami.
Malapit na kami sa toll gate sa papasok ng Cavitex. Naalala ko yung Largo Avenue,
kung san parating may street racing. At naalala ko 'tong sasakyan niya.
"Medyo."
"Sa gabi?"
Tumingin siya sa'kin, nakapila na kami sa toll gate. Umandar yung sasakyan sa
harapan namin. Inalis niya ang tingin niya sa'kin at inandar ang sasakyan. Nung
nakalagpas na kami sa toll gate, tsaka lang siya nagsalita ulit.
"Double O Seven?"
Holy shiz. Siya nga. Heto nga yung sasakyang nakikita ko dun. Oh, my God. Nasa loob
ako ng sasakyan . . . Napatingin ako sa loob ng kotse niya. Ang linis. Hindi mo
aakalain na may pagka-legendary nito sa street racing.
'Double O Seven' yung code word para sa street racing sa Largo Avenue. Illegal pa
rin naman kasi yun, kaya may nagimbento ng word para kapag pinaguusapan medyo safe.
"Yeah, I do," inamin niya. "And I gotta be honest, I didn't peg you as someone na
nanunuod ng Double O Seven."
I bit my lip. Sasabihin ko ba? Oh, well. Wala namang mawawala sa'kin pag sinabi ko.
Hindi na naman big deal yun.
"Yung ex-boyfriend ko, dinadala ko dun nung kami pa dati," I admitted. "Plus, I'm a
huge fan of the Fast and Furious series. Kaya ayos lang sa'kin. Ang astig nga e."
Hindi siya nagsalita. Tinignan ko siya. Parang may pinagiisipan. Nilipat ko tingin
ko sa bintana. Pinanuod kong lumagpas kami kung saan saan. Hanggang sa nasa may
Coastal Mall na kami. Ang traffic talaga dito. Lalo na't ginawa nang terminal ito.
Napalingon ako sa kanya. Seryoso ba siya? At nakita kong seryoso nga siya. Hala.
Papayag ba ako? I barely know him. Then again, hindi ba ito yung whole point ng
ginagawa namin? Getting to know each other and whatnot?
Wala naman akong gagawin mamayang gabi e. Itetext ko nalang si Manang Judith na
huwag akong antayin sa paguwi ko. Buti nalang nakaporma ako ngayon. Pwede na 'to
hanggang mamaya.
"O - Okay."
"Ayaw mo ba?"
Bigla ko lang kasi naisip na baka nandun si Calvin. Parati pa naman yun nandun sa
mga ganun. Ayokong makita pagmumukha niya, sa totoo lang. Pero kasama ko naman si
Oliver e. Wala naman sigurong mangyayaring masama.
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Nagdiwang ang tiyan ko nang makitang papasok kami sa Charmuel's Cuisine. Wow. Hindi
ba pang mayayaman lang 'tong restaurant na 'to? International ang franchise nila,
sa pagkakalam ko. Atsaka, nagpupunta lang kami dito kapag may occasion. Like nung
high school graduation ko, dito kami kumain kinagabihan nun.
Wow. So para kina Oliver, pang-dinner lang itong restaurant na ito? Anong tawag
nila sa Jollibee at McDo?
Pumasok kami at nakita kong mala fine dining ang peg dito. Nakalimutan ko na din
kasi. Pero wala namang dress code, so hindi full on fine dining. Buti nalang. Wala
kasi ako sa mood na mag paka prim and proper ngayon.
May kumaway sa'min sa may bandang bintana. Umirap ako nang makita kong si Zeo. Naka
green letterman jacket siya over a white shirt, with the sleeves pulled up by the
elbows. Ang cool talaga niyang tignan kahit kailan.
Kahit ayaw ko, nagpunta kami papalapit sa kanya. Hindi ako tumitingin sa kanya. I
refuse to look at him unless it's necessary. Umupo na kami at nag-order. Three
course meal ang in-order ni Zeo, kaya ganun din kami ni Oliver.
I inwardly thanked my parents sa allowance ko. Pati na rin ang kakayahan kong
magipon ng malaki. Yakang yaka ko mga price dito. Phew!
"Ang tagal niyo," commented Zeo. "San ba kayo galing, sa bundok?" Natatawa niyang
sinabi. "Or sa gubat, with that look?"
Nakooo. Pasalamat ka ayaw kitang kausapin, kundi mumurahin talaga kita. For your
information, madami akong napalingon sa school sa simpleng porma kong plain black
fitted top, skinny jeans, and black combat boots. I kept my long dark hair loose
and curly. Konting silver accessories here and there and voila! Head turner na.
Kaya 'wag mong masabi-sabi sa akin na mala-gubat ang porma ko.
"Oh, bakit hindi ka makatingin sa'kin?" tanong ni Zeo sa'kin nang tumingin ako sa
labas, anywhere but his unf5\air good looks. "Don't tell me, na in love ka sa'kin
ah? Ang easy mo naman."
"Wala ka nang maisip na sabihin to get my attention kung hindi yan?" I said. "Ang
desperate mo naman," I added in a patronizing tone.
"And why do you want me to talk so bad?" I asked him, with a raised eyebrow.
Dumating na yung appetizers kaya hindi siya naka sagot pa muna. Kinuha niya yung
baso ng juice sa harapan niya at uminom. He took his time, too. Nung tapos na siya,
tsaka lang siya nagsalita.
Tumingin kami parehas ni Zeo kay Oliver. He's right. We have to focus. Kailangan
naming pagusapan itong sort of project namin for this month. We have to work around
everyone's schedule. Tapos, yung issue pa na ang layo ko sa kanila.
"Fine," said Zeo, grabbing the napkin and spreading it on his lap. After grabbing
his spoon, nagsalita siya ulit, "So pano, every Saturday tayo magmi-meet?"
I shrugged, while I placed the napkin on my lap. Ayokong magsalita na payag ako,
kahit na payag naman talaga ako. Ayoko lang mag-agree sa kanya. Tapos.
"Sounds good," nodded Oliver, after niyang lunukin yung sinubo niyang cream soup.
Tinignan niya kami. "Whole day Saturday?"
"Yeah."
Napatingin silang dalawa sa'kin. Habang naguusap sila kanina, kumakain lang ako
nang kumakain. At dahil diyan, linunok ko muna yung kakasubo ko lang na cream soup.
I rolled my eyes. "I can crash sa isa sa mga kakilala ko in the city."
Nagbago yung facial expression ni Zeo. From his look, parang sinasabi niyang he
knew my secret . . . and he didn't know what to do with it.
"Oo naman."
Actually, hindi. Kasi naalala ko, umuuwi pala si Benjo tuwing Friday sa Tagaytay.
So wala siya sa condo niya tuwing Saturday night. May isa pa akong kakilala, pero
no way akong makiki-crash sa place ng ex ko. No effing way.
"She's lying."
Napanganga ako. Of all the people who would say that, si Zeo pa? Sinarado ko agad
ang bibig ko at tinignan siya.
"You brushed your hair with your fingers," Zeo explained, "to divert your attention
while you're lying, diba?"
Hmm. Tama siya. Para hindi ako nakatutok sa pagsisinungaling ko, I busied my hands
para natural na lumabas ang words at hindi kabado.
"She's a good liar, I'll give her that," impressed na sinabi ni Zeo, giving me a
smirk. "Pero not good enough to get past me. I'm a good liar, too."
"It comes with being a playboy ba?" tanong ko, pero cold yung boses ko.
Hala sige, i-flash mo yang straight white teeth mo sa'kin. Meron din ako niyan noh.
"I don't like dishonesty," sabi ni Oliver. Balik seryoso na naman mukha niya.
Hay. And to think, okay okay na kami mula nung nasa sasakyan niya kami. Back to
zero na naman. Badtrip kasi si Zeo e. Ang ingay. Ayan tuloy.
Ayoko to talaga ng pinagsasabihan ako na parang akong bata. Naiinis ako sa ganun.
Kaya ayaw ko ng authority e. Hindi ako napapalagay kapag inuutusan ako. Gusto ko,
kusa ako.
"O, narinig mo yun," sabat ni Zeo. "No lying policy na tayo." He smiled crookedly,
yung tipong uber sexy.
Wait lang, bakit ang sexy niya kapag ginagawa niya yun? At bakit ako nasesexihan?!
Galit dapat ako sa kanya! Anak ng tokwa naman oh.
"Okay, fine." I sighed. "Ayokong nagco-commute sa gabi. Makikitulog nalang sana ako
sa kakilala ko, but then I remembered wala siya sa condo niya every weekend."
Walang umimik. Dumating na yung main course, and we started eating quietly. Parang
kanya kanya kaming nagiisip ng paraan kung paano ba ako makakauwi every time na may
lakad kami. Na-touch naman ako kahit papaano at pinoproblema din nila yun. Akala
ko, sobrang sama nila na wala silang pakialam.
Tumingin sa'kin si Oliver, balik kay Zeo. Tapos, balik ulit sa'kin. Tumaas ang
kilay niya. Tinatanong niya kung hinatid ba ko ng kumag. I shook my head in answer.
Napasandal siya sa upuan niya. He didn't say anything.
"Gaano ba kalayo?"
Napatingin agad kami ni Oliver kay Zeo. He was frowning as if he didn't like where
the conversation was getting at. Mukha siyang spoiled brat, which he probably was.
"Two hours away, if you're gonna take the shortcut," answered Oliver.
Zeo pouted.
I grew tired of this shiz. Kung ayaw niya, edi 'wag. Like I said, hindi ko
ipagpipilitan sarili ko sa kanila. May mga friends naman akong mas willing na
makasama ako at tumulong sa'kin. Ayoko rin naman na feeling nila ay responsibilidad
nila ako. Sino ba ako?
"Look, hihingan ko nalang yung pinsan ko ng susi sa condo niya," I told them.
"Kahit hindi niya 'ko mabigyan, may roommate naman siyang kilala ako at pwede akong
papasukin dun e."
Naalala ko bigla yung roommate ni Benjo na si Dex. He never admitted it, pero
nakwento ni Benjo na may crush daw sa'kin yun. 'Di naman siguro ako
pagsasamantalahan nun. Takot lang niya kay Benjo.
Zeo looked at me after hearing what I said. Hindi ko mabasa yung iniisip niya.
I frowned. "Oo."
I looked at him suspiciously. Paano niya nalaman na tumawag ako kay Benjo kahapon?
Unless . . . sinundan niya ko . . . ?
Obvious sa mukha niya na parehas kami ng iniisip because he suddenly cleared his
throat and looked away from me.
So what, akala niya boylet ko yung tinawagan ko kahapon? Si Benjo, boylet? YUCK!
Incest! Ew! Kaya pala yung ngiti niya kanina kala mo may alam siyang nililihim ko.
HA! Pahiya ang kumag. Akala niya ah?
"Fine, ako na next week," sabi ni Zeo na parang napipilitan lang talaga.
"Text niyo nalang kaya ako kung saan tayong place," mataray kong sinabi. Hindi ko
na ma-contain pagka-badtrip ko. "Tas, magkita-kita nalang tayo."
"'Di na," agad na sinabi ni Zeo. "Baka sabihin mo pa kung anong klaseng lalaki
kami."
"So what if I am?" Tumawa si Zeo. "You can't do anything about it."
Hindi ko na kaya. Sinipa ko siya sa tuhod sa ilalim ng table.
Oo, sinipa ko ang kinababaliwan ng mga college-age girls sa buong Luzon. Sinipa ko
si Zeo Alcante sa tuhod, ang Lion King ng DLSU. Nagsisi ako agad kasi baka
napalakas, hindi naman siguro siya mai-injure dahil lang sa - Stop, Lana. Pake mo
ba?
Lumingon mga tao sa'min, pero hindi din nagtagal. They went on to mind their own
business. Nakita kong minamasahe ni Oliver ang ulo niya. Si Zeo naman, nakahawak sa
tuhod niya. Pero hindi pa rin siya galit. In fact, he looked quite amused.
"Touchy."
"Gusto mo?"
I scoffed. "Handsome? Bulag ka ba?" Yes, ginamit ko ang overused na tactic ng mga
babae when it comes to cute guys.
He sneered. "Yeah, right. And I'm supposed to believe that you honestly don't think
I'm good-looking?"
I was about to answer him when the waiter came. Niligpit niya ang mga main course
namin, at pinalitan ng dessert. When the waiter left, Oliver leaned his elbows sa
table. Para siyang referee kasi siya yung nasa gitna namin ni Zeo.
"Can't we get along for five days?" asked Oliver. "Five days lang. Ang ingay niyong
dalawa e. I don't think I can take too much noise and banter every time magkikita
tayo."
Natahimik ako. First time ko ata siyang narinig na magsalita ng ganun kahaba. Medyo
na-guilty tuloy ako ng konti kasi hindi ko namamalayan na nakikipagbangayan na pala
ko kay Zeo. Pero he started it from being such a kumag e!
Patuloy kaming kumain. Tahimik uli sa table. Para bang, we were energizing
ourselves to start over. May point din naman kasi si Oliver e. Walang mangyayari
sa'min if we wouldn't at least try to be civil and get along. We had to put our
differences aside muna.
Like yung De La Soledad - Silvestre rivalry, yung kayabangan ni Zeo, yung katarayan
ko, yung kasungitan ni Oliver, yung mga pride namin. Lahat yun, i-set aside muna.
_____________
Dedicated to Bonitababyy! :) x
A lot of you guys like Oliver. As in, halos lahat bumoto sa kanya last chapter.
Tumingin sa'kin bigla si Oliver, nginitian ko lang siya. He shook his head in turn.
Nanlaki mga mata ni Zeo at napanganga. Tumingin siya ng dahan dahan kay Oliver. May
bago akong napansin sa kanya. Kung kahapon, medyo superior yung asta niya kay
Oliver, ngayon medyo parang may nakita akong respeto na.
Zeo composed himself and smiled. He was nodding, seeming impressed sa nalaman
niyang news. Nasa itsura niya ang parang pagkatalo, tapos he was still being a good
sport? Para bang nakahanap na siya ng kapantay. Yun yung itsura niya.
Huh. So this is setting aside our differences and starting over . . . I like it.
Hindi ko namalayan, nakangiti na rin ako. Pinakinggan ko lang sila magusap, nagco-
comment din ako paminsan-minsan. Hanggang sa pinakuha na yung bill. Magbibigay na
sana ako ng share ko nang sinabi ni Oliver na sagot na niya 'to.
Aba, no problem sa'kin. Pero natapakan ata ng konti yung ego ni Zeo.
Club? Napatingin ako sa kanila bago ko naalala. Ay, oo nga pala. Mamaya pang 3am
yung Double O Seven. So madami pang hours to kill before then.
Paglabas namin sa Charmuel's Cuisine, niyaya ko sila sa Bowling Alley. Wala namang
problema sa kanila kaya sabay sabay kaming naglakad papunta doon.
Napansin kong madaming tumitingin sa'min. Well, hindi ko sila masisisi. Ang gagwapo
ng mga kasama ko. Tapos, sikat pa si Zeo. Wala pa namang nagpapa-picture sa kanya,
pero halatang namumukhaan siya.
"Ako na magbabayad ah," dineclare ko, pumila na rin ako. "Sinagot niyo na lahat e,"
natatawa kong dagdag.
"May sinabi ba 'ko?" Tumawa si Zeo. "Easy ka nga lang. Babae ka pa rin kaya. 'Di
ako nagpapabayad sa babae."
"Sexist na kung sexist," sagot ni Zeo, hinila ako paalis ng pila para siya ang
pumalit sa'kin. "Alis! Dun ka."
Napanganga ko. Ayoko ng inuutusan ako, diba? Hindi ako napapalagay. Aalma na sana
ko kaso nagsalita ulit si Zeo.
Zeo laughed out loud. "Baka sapakin ako bigla. Mahirap na."
Oh, my God. Pinagkakaisahan talaga nila ako. Hindi ko maintindihan mga lalaki.
Bakit ganun silang mga nilalang? Parang kahapon lang, ang tindi ng tension nila sa
katawan. Tapos ngayon, kala mo ang tagal tagal na nilang magkaibigan e. May pa
'bro' 'bro' pa silang nalalaman. Brohugin ko mga mukha nila e.
I scoffed. "Hindi kita sasapakin noh. Ayokong sugurin ng mga fans mo."
Hindi na ako nakasagot dahil siya na yung susunod sa cashier. Habang nagbabayad
siya, bumuntong hininga ako. Lumingon sa'kin si Oliver sa tabi ko.
"Not exactly an advertiser, per se," I replied. Kumuha ako ng bowling shoes na nasa
size ko at umupo sa malapit na upuan. "More like, public relations officer."
"It's the same thing," said Oliver, after getting his bowling shoes.
And that was how the first half of the evening went. Nagkwentuhan lang kami. We
talked about ourselves and everything else. We shared stories and laughed. Syempre,
nag-asaran din kami kasi kulelat si Oliver sa scoreboard. At ako ang may pinaka-
mataas na score! Yay!
After that, nag-arcade kami. Nag-race kaming tatlo (obvious naman siguro kung sino
nagtagumpay dun), nag-shoot ng hoops (halata ulit kung sino nanalo dun), at nag-
barilan.
Todo bonding na ata kami ngayon e. Wala kaming ginawa kundi magkwentuhan at
magtawanan. Ang weird nga kasi kahapon, ang sama talaga ng umpisa namin. Pati
kanina. Tapos, nung nag start over na kami, dun na nagbago.
I mean, nandyan pa rin yung yabang ni Zeo. Hindi na ata mawawala yun. Pero more on
carefree siya, pala biro, pala ngiti. Okay naman pala siyang maging kaibigan.
Like si Zeo hindi voluntary yung pagsali niya sa research na 'to. Napilitan lang
siya kasi bumabagsak siya sa isa sa mga major subjects niya. Malaking credits pala
para sa mga Soledarians kapag sumali dito.
Si Oliver naman, bored lang daw siya kaya he volunteered. Tsaka, iniiwasan niya
yung mga teammates niya. He quit being a varsity soccer player at Silverstre just
last summer.
Napaisip tuloy ako. For sure, kilala niya yung ex ko kung naging soccer player siya
dun. Medyo kinabahan nga ako e. Close kaya sila? Pero parang 'di naman. Ang lalayo
ng ugali nila e. Then again, heto kami ngayon nila Zeo at Oliver. Nagkakasundo
kahit iba't iba ugali namin.
***
Napaka-nostalgic dito.
Nasa Haut kami nina Zeo at Oliver, ang pinaka-sikat na club sa Manila.
Dito sa mismong club na 'to parati akong dinadala ni Calvin dati. Dito rin ako
tinatakas ng mga pinsan ko nung fifteen palang kami ni Benjo. Party girls and boys
kasi lahi namin. Kaya ayun, maaga kaming namulat sa mga ganito.
Kaya ang nostalgic talaga dito. Both good and bad memories, naghalo.
10pm palang nang pumasok kami, subalit andami nang tao. Nahirapan kami ng konti sa
paghahanap ng table. Pero dahil maimpluwensya ang dalawang kasama kong lalaki,
hindi kami nagtagal na nakatayo.
Medyo nagulat nga ako nung may mga bumati din kay Oliver e. Mukhang kilala siya,
hindi lang as 'Blue Blur.' Si Zeo naman . . . Well, siya si Zeo Alcante.
Pag-upo namin, hindi ko mapigilang lumingon lingon sa paligid ko. Hindi ko alam
kung nandito ang ex-boyfriend ko. Ayoko sana siyang makita kaso maliit lang ang
mundo. At mas lalong maliit ang Manila.
"Okay ka lang?"
Tumingin ako kay Oliver na nasa kanan ko. Ngumiti at tumango lang ako. Nasa booth
kaming tatlo ngayon. Pinag-gigitnaan ako nung dalawa.
"Shots tayo ah," said Zeo, sumisignal sa waiter. Nung lumapit sa kanya, binulongan
niya ito. Nahuli kong nag sign language siya ng 'two.'
Pagalis ng waiter, he was all smiles. Parang he really liked it here. Pati si
Oliver, chill lang. Pinapanuod namin yung mga tao na nagsasayaw sa dance floor.
Nakaka-miss din night life dito sa Manila.
Napatingin ako kay Zeo. Hindi ako sigurado kung ako yung kausap niya kasi . . .
Tinawag ba niya 'kong 'girly'? What the shiz?
Rule #4: Create a nickname for him. Yung nickname na pipiliin mo, hindi dapat
compliment. Dapat kakaiba pa rin. That way, dagdag familiarity and closeness. Pag
nagtext ka or tumawag or nagchat, tas tinawag mo siya by that nickname, ikaw kaagad
ang papasok sa isip niya. Kahit marinig niya lang yun sa ibang tao or mabasa kung
saan, maaalala niya ikaw.
"Girly?" Lumingon ako sa likuran ko. Wala namang ibang tao, puro lalaki na yung
nasa kabilang booth. Binalik ko tingin ko kay Zeo. "Ako ba kinakausap mo?"
Tumawa si Oliver.
Tumawa pa lalo si Oliver, na sinabayan naman ni Zeo. Tawa sila ng tawa sa sinabi
ko. Halatang 'di nila ine-expect. Mukha ba akong walang sense of humor?
"'Di ko first time," sagot ko sa tanong niya kanina. "Madalas ako dati dito."
Bigla kong naalala yung pinagusapan namin kanina nung papunta palang kami ng MOA.
Napagusapan nga pala namin nun ng bahagya sa kotse niya.
"Ah."
"Pero no," madali kong dagdag. "Yung mga pinsan ko din kasi mahilig mag-party.
Since fifteen years old palang ako, dinadala na 'ko dito."
Sakto, dumating na ang mga in-order ni Zeo. Tama nga ang hinala ko. Two bottles
nga. Yung isa Tequila, yung isa naman Patron. He also ordered some nachos and
fries. Tapos, may isang pitsel ng tubig.
Naghanap ako ng lemon and salt, pero wala akong makita. Napansin ni Oliver na may
hinahanap ako, kaya naman tumingin siya kay Zeo na naglalagay na ng shots.
Oliver snapped his fingers, making Zeo look at him. Sabay tinuro ako ni Oliver.
Tumaas ang kilay ko. Tsaka lang naintindihan ni Zeo yung pinaparating ni Oliver.
"Shit, sorry."
Zeo straightened up and looked at the table. He narrowed his eyes, tapos parang may
light bulb na umilaw sa ulo niya at bigla siyang ngumiti. Tumingin siya sa'kin.
"Try it with some fries," sabi niya, habang inabutan ako ng shot.
Sinunod ko siya. I took the shot, sabay kuha ng fries and water. Ooh. Kinilabutan
ako. Biglang naginit katawan ko, umakyat sa lalamunan. Antagal ko nang 'di
nakakainom nito.
The two boys chuckled. O-order na dapat si Zeo pero pinigilan ko siya.
"Gusto kong uminom ng bare."
It probably wasn't a good idea. Pero hindi naman ako magpapakalasing e. Alam ko pa
din limitations ko. I'd know when to stop. Kahit na may feeling akong hindi naman
ako papabayaan ng dalawang 'to, I still had to watch out for myself.
Na-feel ko agad na gumaang yung pakiramdam ko. Wow. Ang bilis naman mag kick in ng
alcohol sa system ko. Tagal na rin kasi e.
Hindi nagsalita si Zeo. Tumango lang siya at nag-shot. Umasim saglit yung mukha
niya pero agad itong nawala.
Bakit ganun? Ang gwapo pa rin niya kahit na maasim yung expression ng mukha niya?
Para bang he made it attractive. He made it hot, even.
Nilagyan ko ng Tequila yung shot glass ko. After nun, kinuha ko ito at nilunok ng
mabilisan. Hindi ko na masyadong pinadaan sa dila ko, para hindi ko malasahan.
"Bleah." AMPAIT.
Kinilabutan ulit ako, naginit katawan ko sandali at nawala din agad. Whoo. Umikot
ng konti yung paningin ko, kaya sumandal muna ako sa upuan.
"Sama 'ko."
I blinked after hearing what he said. Totoo ba narinig ko? Seryoso? Gusto niyang
sumama sa tinawag niyang 'bundok' just a few hours ago?
Lumingon ako kay Oliver at nakitang napapangiti siya pero pinipigilan niya.
Bakit siya napapangiti? At bakit niya pinipigilan? Shucks. Ang sabaw na ng utak ko.
Konti palang naman naiinom ko.
"Ikaw bahala," sabi ni Oliver, habang kinukuha niya ang shot niya.
After ng ilang shots, tipsy na ako. Feeling ko nga, kanina pa ako tipsy. 'Di ko
lang nahahalata. Ewan ko. Basta na-sure akong tipsy na talaga 'ko nang gusto ko
nang magsayaw.
Tumingin ako sa boots ko. Shiz. Oo nga pala. Humawak ako sa balikat ni Oliver at
inalis ang boots ko. Magpapaa nalang ako. Nakaitim na medyas naman ako e. Buti
nalang.
"Sure ka?" tanong ni Oliver, his eyes on my feet na parang natatakot siya sa
pwedeng mangyayari sa mga paa ko.
Ngumiti lang ako kay Zeo. Oo nga, tipsy na nga talaga ako para ngumiti sa kanya ng
hindi sarcastic.
"No, I'm tipsy," sagot ko. With that, tinalikuran ko sila at dumeretso sa dance
floor.
Actually, tama naman yung concern nila e. Meron kasing 90% chance na maapak-apakan
ang mga paa ko ng stilettos ng ibang babae. Kaso, I'm 100% past caring. I just want
to get loose and dance.
And so I did.
_____________
Let's play a GAME! Before reading, comment mo muna kung kanino ka boto between Zeo
and Oliver. After reading, tell me kung yung binoto mo pa rin yung gusto mo
still. ;)
_____________
Nasusuka ako.
Oliver parked the car by the side of the quiet road. As soon as it stopped, lumabas
ako at tumakbo sa bushes. Sinuka ko yung acid ng alcohol. My cousins taught me how
to properly get the alcohol out of your system, para hindi ako mahilo at feeling ko
gusto kong sumuka all the time. Acid lang talaga sinuka ko, kaya hindi naman
nakakadiri. Parang laway lang.
"What's the hold up?" narinig ko boses ni Zeo, at ang sarado ng pintuan ng kotse.
On the way na kami sa Largo Avenue from Haut. Sa bilis magpatakbo ni Oliver ng
sasakyan, na-feel kong umaakyat yung mga ininom at kinain ko. Kaya pinatigil ko
muna siya.
Zeo laughed. "Sa dami niyang nainom at bilis mong mag-drive, it isn't surprising."
I just waved him off from behind. Hindi pa 'ko makapagsalita at makaharap sa kanila
e. Pinilit ko pang sumuka. Tumingala ako at huminga ng malalim. Maluha-luha na rin
ako.
Nahihiya na nga rin ako kasi naririnig nila. Kadiri kaya ginagawa ko. Tapos may
kasama pa kong naggagwapuhang mga lalaki. Ugh. Sobrang nakakahiya. Pero kailangang
gawin kung gusto kong tumagal ngayong gabi.
"Una ka na, bro," Zeo suddenly said. "Sabay na kami. I'll drive slow nalang."
'Di ako lumingon kaya hindi ko nakita expressions nila sa mukha. Naririnig ko lang
sila from where I was. Gustong gusto ko pa naman makita expression ni Zeo. Never in
a million years ko siyang ine-expect na mag-volunteer.
"Yeah, sure."
"Okay. Heto bag niya. Lana, binigay ko bag mo kay Zeo ah."
Kumaway nalang ako uli. Malapit na akong matapos. Konti nalang. Nawawala-wala na
rin yung hilo ko e.
"See you guys there," I heard Oliver say, before I heard him climb inside his car.
He beeped before fully driving away.
Hindi pa muna nagsalita si Zeo. Bigla ko nalang naramdaman yung kamay niya napunta
sa likod ko. Napatalon ako ng konti sa gulat. Tumawa naman siya.
Grabe. Ang lapit niya sa'kin. Naamoy ko na siya. At ang bango niya ah. Kahit galing
kami sa Haut, mabango pa rin siya. Iisipin mong bagong ligo. Nagkaroon tuloy ako ng
sudden urge na sumandal sa kanya. Pero pinigilan ko ang sarili ko.
"Yan kasi," he scolded, chuckling. "Inom ng inom, 'di naman pala kaya."
Hindi ko siya masagot kasi baka bad breath ako. Actually, hindi baka. Talagang bad
breath ako. Tapos ang lapit pa niya. Ayoko nga. Baka ma-turn off pa siya sa'kin.
N - Not that I care kung ma-turn off siya. Unreachable siya, kaya there's no way.
Uh-oh. May paparating na acid. 'Di ko na napigilan, nilabas ko na. Buti nalang
parang dura lang, kaya I didn't make much mortifying sounds like before.
I breathed deeply.
"Here."
"Thanks," I murmured.
Sabay kami ni Zeo na pumunta sa kotse niya. Ang gara ng sasakyan niya, in fairness
talaga. Kulang dark gray na Mercedes Benz GL Class daw, sabi niya kanina nung nasa
parking lot kami ng Haut. SUV na pagka-lakilaki. Ang cool tignan. Bagay na bagay sa
kanya.
My jaw dropped, and I stared at him with a shocked face. Nabasa niya agad ang nasa
isip ko, because he rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, I can be a gentleman," sabi niya, like he was answering the unspoken
question in my mind. "It's not that shocking."
"It is for me," I snorted, before finally going inside his vehicle.
Wow. Ang linis dito sa loob. Again, hindi ko ine-expect yun. Napaka maalaga naman
nila Zeo at Oliver sa mga sasakyan nila. Pati kaya sa babae ganun din sila?
Like Zeo said, hindi mabilis ang pag-drive niya. It was as if we were cruising
around the city sa speed namin. Ayos lang. Feel ko din namang tumingin lang sa city
lights, sa paligid na walang katao-tao. Kami lang ata ang nandito sa road na 'to.
"Oo."
Bigla akong may naramdaman sa tiyan ko. Yung tibok ng puso ko naman, bumilis ang
beat. Oh, no. Holy shiz. I know this feeling. Bakit ganito? Hindi pwedeee!
Bakit . . . ako . . . kinikilig?!
"Babae ka pa rin e," dugtong ni Zeo. "I can't just leave you in the city by
yourself. May konsensya din naman ako . . . 'di lang halata." Nakangiti siya nang
dinagdag niya yung huling sinabi niya. Damn his uber sexy smile.
"Oo."
Oo nga naman. Paanong hindi sila magkakakilala, e parehas sila ng night life? Pero
wait lang, parating umuuwi si Benjo sa Tagaytay every weekend ah? Unless yung night
life niya ay tuwing Friday night. Tapos, ang uwi niya ay Saturday. That made sense.
"Close kayo?" I asked. Wala naman kasing naku-kwento si Benjo na kaibigan niya si
Zeo, o nakakasama man lang kung saan man.
I nodded in agreement.
Tumawa siya.
Ang hilig tumawa ni Zeo. Pero okay lang. Ang sarap naman pakinggan e. Napaka
natural at carefree ng tawa niya. Tsaka, ang cute niya pag tumatawa. May pagka-
boyish yung itsura niya, kaya mapapangiti ka nalang din.
He flashed me a crooked smile (yeah, the uber sexy one). "He knows popormahan kita
kapag nalaman ko existence mo."
Nabigla ako sa sinabi niya. Bigla akong kinabahan. Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko.
Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko. Seryoso ba siya?
Focus, Lana. Si Zeo Alcante ang kausap mo. He's a certified chickboy, remember?
'Wag kang magpadala sa charm niya. Remember your list! Ano yung rule #2?
He burst out laughing. "'Di lang ikaw ang babaeng narinig kong nagsabi niyan. In
the end, kinain din nila the things they said."
A very familiar car caught my eye. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. Tinignan ko kaagad ang
plate number ng kotse na yun. I gasped.
I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to breathe. Mabilis ang tibok ng puso ko, pero
hindi na in a good way katulad ng kanina.
Napalingon ako kay Zeo. Nakakunot ng konti ang noo niya. Nagkatinginan kami sa mga
mata. Nakita niya ata ang pagpa-panic ko dahil sumeryoso facial expression niya.
Iniwas ko ang tingin ko at na-realize kong naka-park na pala kami. 'Di ko man lang
napansin.
"Lana."
Napatalon ako sa upuan ko. I whipped my head so fast kay Zeo. First time kong
narinig na sinabi niya pangalan ko. Tapos, mababa at seryoso pa ang boses niya.
Oh, my God. Bakit ang hot niya? Umubod ang gwapo niya kapag galit. Unfair talaga.
Kapag galit ako, mukha akong aso e.
Napakagat ako sa labi ko, na sinundan naman ng mga mata niya. Fudge. Bakit parang
uminit dito sa sasakyan?
"Y - Yung . . ." Huminga ako ng malalim at diretsong sinabi, "Yung ex-boyfriend ko,
nandito. Nakita ko yung kotse niya."
Iniwas ko ulit yung tingin ko sa kanya. Masyadong personal yun. Sasabihin ko ba?
There were two reasons why I broke up with Calvin. One was worse than the other. So
sinabi ko muna yung hindi mas mabigat na dahilan.
"Just saying."
I sighed.
"Bakit ka affected?"
Pumikit ako at kinalma ang sarili ko. Calvin couldn't touch me now. He had no
right. He never had a right. I could take him. Hindi dapat ako matakot sa walang
modong lalaking iyon. He wasn't worth it. He never was.
Napansin niya ang pagbago ko ng usapan. He accepted it, nodded, and unlocked the
doors. Sabay kaming bumaba at pinuntahan ang kalagitnaan ng event. Habang
naglalakad kami, bumulong siya sa'kin.
Hindi naman niya siguro susugurin. Sino ba ako? Tsaka, nabugbog na rin naman ni
Benjo si Calvin e. Syempre, yung pinsan ko na yun ang tinakbuhan ko after mangyari
ng mangyari. Medyo nagwala pa nga si Benjo nun e.
Pagkadating namin sa may bandang gitna, madaming namukhaan si Zeo. Madaming bumati
at kumaway sa kanya. Lumapit si Oliver sa'min mula sa gitna. Sinundan siya ng
tingin ng mga tao. May mga taong nag-pat sa shoulder niya para i-wish siya ng good
luck. May mga nagbulungan naman habang pinapanuod siyang papalapit sa'min.
Tumango siya.
"Bro," sabi ni Zeo. Sumignal siyang lumapit pa si Oliver. Nang mas malapit na si
Oliver, bumulong si Zeo sa kanya.
Ang daya talaga ng dalawang 'to. Parati nalang akong pinagkakaisahan. Hindi ako
magugulat kung next week, may bromance na sila. Ano kayang pinagbubulungan nila? At
bakit feeling ko, ako yun?
Confirmed. Ako nga yun. For sure, kinu-kwento ni Zeo yung ex-boyfriend ko na
nandito lang sa paligid. For sure din, nakikita ako ng ex ko na yun ngayon. Nasa
bandang gitna kami ng crowd e, sa may likod ng starting line.
Napalingon si Oliver sa paligid, parang may hinahanap. Natigilan siya ng sandali,
bago humarap ulit kay Zeo. Makalipas ng ilang saglit, lumapit yung dalawa sa'kin.
Hindi naman seryoso ang mga mukha nila. Chill lang, pero I noticed the curiosity in
their eyes.
Natunganga ako kay Oliver. Paano niya nalaman? Nabasa niya ang expression sa mukha
ko at tumango. Humarap siya kay Zeo.
"Wait, race muna." Oliver nodded towards the guy handling all the bets, the guy
saluted him in some sort of signal. "Later na namin iku-kwento."
"Good luck!" sabi ko nalang, kahit na gustong gusto kong malaman kung anong meron.
Bakit small world ulit?
Oliver went to his car and got in. Naghiyawan ang mga tao. Apat silang magre-race.
Aakalain mo nga, color-coded e. Blue, red, green, at yellow ang mga kulay ng mga
kotse na hahataw ngayong gabi. Power rangers lang ang peg.
May pumuntang sexy at showy na babae sa harapan. Parating sexy nalang ang mga
nagpupunta dun, pansin ko. This time, agaw pansin ang naglalakihan niyang mga
pakwan.
Lumingon ako kay Zeo at nakita na he was smiling crookedly, obviously checking out
Ms. Pakwan. Tumingin ako uli dun sa babae. Maganda din naman, pero may pagka-trashy
yung dating niya e. 'Di tulad ko, classy. Sorry to say, pero totoo.
Ms. Pakwan raised her arms, tumunog ng malalakas yung mga kotse. She counted to
three and she quickly put her arms down. Lumarga ang mga kotse.
Simple lang naman ang route. Balikan lang. Pero sobrang haba ng avenue na ito. Kaya
madaming nagdadala talaga ng binoculars kasi matatagalan ng konti.
"Next time na," sabi niya, habang nakatingin sa malayo. I noticed something caught
his eye, though. Napalingon kasi siya sa gilid ng crowd. Bumalik ang uber sexy
smile niya sa mukha niya.
Sinundan ko ang tingin niya at nakita si Ms. Pakwan. Nakatingin din siya kay Zeo,
wearing a flirty smile. Eh.
"Wait lang, I'll be back," sabi sa'kin ni Zeo, habang tinititigan pa rin si Ms.
Pakwan.
Aaaaand iniwan niya ko dito. Keri lang. It's not like may responsibilidad siya
sa'kin. He's single and very free to mingle. I'm just some girl he's forced to hang
out with for a month.
Nilabas ko ang phone ko at napansing maraming text messages galing kina Cass at
Kylee. Oops. Nakalimutan ko silang i-text buong gabi. Masyado ata akong nag-enjoy
kasama yung dalawang lalaki.
Nireplyan ko agad ang dalawa kong girlfriends. In-update ko din sila na medyo okay
naman na yung dalawang kumag. We were surprisingly getting along.
Sent. Ayan. Bago ko pa mai-angat ang ulo ko, nag-reply na siya agad. Aba, gising pa
siya. Hmm. Ah, I bet nasa Dionysus 'to ngayon. Isang bar na mala-pub ang dating sa
Tagaytay na paborito naming puntahan kapag gusto lang naming uminom at mag-chill.
Benjo: D ko nman lam n big deal. Crush mo? D, ksama ko cna Ryan.
Benjo: Uiii, defensive! LOL! Wag k dun, playboy un. D e, knina p cla umuwi.
Defensive? Ha! No way noh. Tsaka, kahit na hindi naman niya sabihin na 'wag ako kay
Zeo e alam ko na yun sa sarili ko palang. Ang mga type ni Zeo, mala Ms. Pakwan.
Hindi ako ganun, at hinding hindi ako magiging ganun.
Bago pa man ako makapag-reply sa pinsan ko, na-feel ko na kaagad ang evil presence
ng ex-boyfriend ko. Natigilan ako at tumingala. Tama nga ang hinala ko.
Ganun pa rin siya. Moreno, matangkad, malaki ang katawan, at naka-gel ang buhok.
Mukha siyang half-Brazilian sa kisig ng mukha niya. Pero unlike dati, wala nang
epekto sa'kin ang itsura niya. Lahat yun, nasira sa mga kawalang-hiyaang ginawa
niya.
Naramdaman ko ang panic sa loob ko, pero hindi ko yun pinakita sa kanya. Instead, I
kept my well-known poker face na may halong katarayan.
Bitch-mode: ON.
I saw the corner of his mouth twitch. Nagtinginan yung mga kaibigan niya na nasa
likod niya. Namumukhaan ko pa sila, kahit na it's been more than six months
already.
Humakbang papalapit si Calvin sa'kin. He was wearing a soft expression on his face,
parang nagpapaawa sabay nangaakit. Pero manhid na 'ko sa kanya.
Useless.
I slapped him hard on his face. Nagulat siya sa ginawa ko, kumunot ang noo niya.
Akala ko magagalit siya, pero parang nasaktan ang facial expression niya. Good.
Malapit na ata matapos ang race dahil nagsigawan at nagtakbuhan ang mga tao. Hindi
nila alam ang nangyayari dahil naiwan kaming nasa likod ng crowd.
Tumawa ako without any humor. "Is that what you tell yourself tuwing naiisip mong
literal kang nanakit ng babae?"
Yes, sinaktan niya ko noon. Pumunta ako ng condo niya at nahuli siya doing the deed
with somebody else. Nagaway kami sa living room niya kung saan nandun ang buong
tropa niya. Instead na mag-sorry siya, sinampal niya ako sa harap ng mga kaibigan
niya. Sinumbat niya sa'kin yung lalaking kinakausap ko sa club the night before.
Kahit anong explain ko na high school friend ko lang yun, hindi siya nakinig.
Sobrang nagselos siya nun na nagawa niya kong gamitan ng kamay sa harap ng mga
kaibigan niya. Ang tropa naman niya, nanuod lang. Walang umawat.
Isang sampal lang yun. Pero sobrang lakas. Nag-bruise pa nga ng ilang araw e. Hindi
ako nakapasok ng school. Si Benjo lang ang nakakaalam sa buong pamilya namin.
Because pag nalaman ng angkan namin, baka ipapatay nila si Calvin.
Oo. Ganun ka-grabe ang family namin. Madaming connections, kung saan-saan. At ayaw
na ayaw nila ang pinagbubuhatan ng kamay ang mga babae, lalo na sa pamilya namin.
Nanlisik mga mata ko. "Hindi ka niya bubugbugin if you didn't do anything wrong." I
smiled sweetly at him, mocking pity. "I heard wala ka daw sa lasinggero kong
pinsan. And here I thought you were tough. You're just a pussy kapag lalaki na ang
kaharap."
Of course, that wasn't entirely true. Kayang lumaban ni Calvin kung sa ibang
lalaki. Nataon lang na si Benjo nakaharap niya. Bata palang kami, tinuturuan na si
Benjo ng mga basagulero naming pinsan na lumaban e.
At that, nakita kong unti-unti nang nagagalit si Calvin. Lalo akong napangiti. I
want him angry. Nage-enjoy akong makita siyang napapahiya. Tulad ng pagpapahiya
niya sa'kin noon.
"Nakita kitang dumating with that Soledarian," spat Calvin. "What happened to your
taste, Lana? Bumaba na ata standards mo."
Napalingon kaming lahat sa nagsalita. He looked relaxed and confident. He was also
smirking. Para bang Calvin ang his friends weren't a threat at all.
Lumapit si Zeo at inakbayan ako. "Grabe, girly," tumatawang sinabi niya sa'kin. "I
didn't know you used to date losers."
Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay, kaya nilapit niya ang mukha niya sa tainga ko.
Ngumiti ako ng malambing sa kanya when he pulled away, na para bang may binulong
siyang napaka-sweet sa'kin.
Oh, my God. Nanghina ang mga tuhod ko. Paano ba namang hindi, e nakita ko nang
malapitan ang uber sexy smile ni Zeo? Kahit sino, manghihina. Holy shiz.
Bumilis tibok ng puso ko. Hala. Alam ko 'to. Oh, no. Alam na alam ko 'to. May part
sa sarili ko na gustong ulit-ulitin ang sinabi niya. May part sa'kin na humihiling
na sana totoo ang sinabi ni Zeo. May part sa'kin na . . . na nagkakagusto kay . . .
Zeo.
NOOOOOOOOOO!
Hindi pwede! Hindi talaga pwede!!! Unreachable siya! How could this be?!
Nagwawala na ang puso't isipan ko, pero poker face pa din ako. Shucks. Ang galing
ko talagang magtago ng nararamdaman.
Nakakainis. Unreachable siya e! Dapat off limits siya! Bakit ako nagkakagusto sa
kanya?! Isang araw palang naman kaming magkakilala. Hindi dapat applicable yun e.
Ang daya talaga ni Tadhana.
"Anong sabi mo, Alcante?" hamon ni Calvin, taking a step closer. Galit na galit na
siya. It was written all over his face.
I couldn't help but smile. Pati yung mga babaeng kasama nila Calvin, napangiti rin.
May pagka-mayabang talaga si Zeo, pero lumalabas na confidence yun. Nadadala niya
kasi e. Hence, nagiging isa sa mga charms niya na pinagkakaguluhan ng mga babae.
"You don't wanna go there, man," warned Calvin. "It's not a place you wanna be."
"Kita mo 'to," sagot ni Zeo, na parang nakarinig ng joke. "You asked, I answered,
tas magagalit ka? Dude, I think you're PMS-ing. May vag!na ka ba?"
Nagtawanan yung mga babae. Namumula na si Calvin sa galit. Yung mga kaibigan niya
naman, uneasy na. Nakikinita na nila ang pwedeng mangyari.
Humakbang papalapit si Calvin sa'min. Bigla akong hinila ni Zeo papunta sa likod
niya. Tinakpan niya ako from Calvin, obviously protecting me.
Heehee!
Napatigil si Calvin sa paglapit nang napansin niya ang ginawa ni Zeo. Tumingin siya
sa'kin, bago kay Zeo. His scowl deepened.
"Bakit, selos ka?" reply ni Zeo. Sumipol siya. "Sorry, pare. 'Di tayo talo."
At that, naghalakhakan yung mga babae pati yung mga tao na nakarinig sa paligid.
Napalingon kami. May namuo na pala kaming audience, hindi namin namalayan. At dahil
nakatingin kami sa mga tao, Zeo didn't see the fist that landed on his face.
Zeo immediately retaliated. Then, it all happened so fast. Pagkasuntok ni Zeo kay
Calvin, agad naman siyang sinugod ng mga kaibigan nito. Zeo being Zeo, a lot of
guys came to his aid. Basically, nagkaron ng rambulan.
"Lana!"
Nanlaki mga mata ko. Holy shiz! Agad akong sumugod sa nangyayaring rambulan. Yeah,
may pagka-stupid yung ginawa ko. Pero may purpose ako noh. Nakita ko agad si Zeo na
nasa ibabaw ni Calvin. Bago pa siya maka-suntok ulit, hinila ko braso niya.
I quickly shook my head. Mamaya na ako magpapantasya. Focus muna. Patuloy ko siyang
hinila palayo. Buti nalang at nagpahila naman siya.
Dun lang ata siya natauhan. Hinawakan niya ang kamay ko at tumakbo kami papuntang
sasakyan niya.
Hindi naman necessary for him to hold my hand. Pero hindi ako magrereklamo. Ayoko
mang aminin, nakaka-comfort yung paghawak niya sa kamay ko e. Mainit, malambot, at
malaki ang kamay niya. Feeling ko tuloy, secure na secure na ako.
Kamay lang yun ah. Paano pa kaya kapag niyakap niya 'ko?
_____________
*evil laugh*
_____________
Nasa Bacoor, Cavite na kami. Yeah, mabilis lang talaga kapag madaling araw kaya
hindi na namin kailangang dumaan ng Cavitex. Halos wala ba namang sasakyan.
Napalingon ako sa kanya. Si Oliver ba kausap niya? Tumingin ako sa side mirror at
nakitang nasa likod na namin ang sasakyan ni Oliver. Muntik na kasing mahuli ng
police car. Ayun, nakatakas naman.
"Tagaytay, yeah," continued Zeo. He glanced at me and said, "Turo mo nalang daw
sa'kin, susunod lang satin si Oliver sa likod. Wala na ata sa mood humataw. Haha."
Nasa phone pa siya, kaya narinig ni Oliver. Mukhang may sinabi kasi lalo pang
tumawa si Zeo. Napangiti naman ako. Damn. Nakakahawa talaga 'tong kumag na 'to.
When he hung up, I told him, "Dire-diretso lang. Mga forty-five minutes to one
hour, nandun na tayo."
"Yup."
Lumipas ang ilang minuto ng katahimikan. Unlike ng kay Oliver, radio ang source of
music sa kotse ni Zeo. Ang music?
"Alam ko namang hindi ka gagawa ng kahit anong kabaitan kapag walang kapalit e."
Am I? Kaya ba parang nagkakagusto na ako sayo, dahil unti-unti kong nalalaman totoo
mong pagkatao? At habang papalapit ako sayo, parang lalo kang gumagwapo?
If so, hindi ako sure kung gusto ko pa siyang makilala. Hindi ako pwedeng ma in
love sa unreachable. Ako lang din masasaktan in the end. Nangangarap sa wala.
Bigla akong natawa sa sinabi niya. Seryoso pa yung pagkakasabi niya kaya mas lalong
amusing. Mas cute yung itsura niya ng ganito.
"Same old story," I sighed, looking at the road. "Hindi siya ganun nung umpisa."
"- na he hurt you, physically?" patuloy niyang sinabi na parang wala akong
siningit.
Hindi muna ako sumagot. Tinignan ko muna kung nasaan na kami. Dasmarinas, Cavite na
kami. Ang bilis talaga kapag ganitong oras.
From the corner of my eye, nakita kong ginrip niya yung steering wheel. His
knuckles turned white, pero saglit lang because he loosened his grip na din.
His jaw clenched. Ang seryoso ng mukha niya, na medyo may pagka-galit. Pero imbes
na matakot ako, mas lalo talaga akong napopogian sa kanya. Anak ng tokwa naman oh.
Kailan ba 'to matitigil? Habambuhay ko nalang bang ia-admire yung features niya?
"Kaya pala you panicked earlier when you saw his car."
I waited for him to continue. Parang may naalala siyang bigla because he suddenly
smiled and shook his head, as though in amusement.
Walanjo.
"Ayaw mo ng 'Simba'?"
"Simbaaaaa," I said in a very low voice before I could stop myself, imitating the
voice in the movie. Automatic reaction ko nang sabihin yun e.
Zeo burst out laughing. Namula naman ako. Shiz. Hindi ko talaga napigilan sarili
ko. May mga tendency nalang akong magsalita without thinking about it first.
Tawa pa rin ng tawa si Zeo. Hoy, tama na! May bukas pa!
"Fck, yan na itawawag ko sayo from now on," tumatawa niyang sinabi.
"Yeah."
Teka lang . . . Lalaki yun ah! Anak pa ni Mufasa! What the shiz?
"So?"
Inirapan ko siya.
Holy shiz. Bigla akong may naramdaman na butterflies sa tiyan ko! Diba usually,
ayaw ko ng inuutusan ako? Naiinis ako sa ganun. Sa sinabi ni Zeo, normally I'd snap
after hearing him say that. Pero bakit ngayon, parang mas kinikilig pa ako? Bakit
ngayon, parang gusto ko na yung bossy tone sa boses niya?
Oh, my God. Seriously, what's happening to me? Ayoko ng ganito. Ayoko talaga.
Buti nalang malapit na kami sa Tagaytay. Konting kembot nalang, nandun na kami. At
pag nandun na kami, sobrang lapit na namin sa Statique. Good. Baka mabuhayan ako sa
kape. Baka sakaling kape lang ang katapat nito.
Tinuro ko kay Zeo yung malaking sign na 'Statique Cafe'. Kumaliwa kami at pinasok
niya ang sasakyan sa entrance. Nasa likuran lang namin si Oliver. They parked side
by side sa deserted na parking lot.
Buti nalang at 24/7 itong Statique. Pwede muna kami ditong kumain at mag-kape,
pangpagising ng diwa.
Sabay sabay kaming bumababa ng sasakyan at pumunta sa entrance. Napansin kong medyo
nagliliwanag na. Blue na ang kalangitan e. Pumasok kami sa Statique. Napaka-cozy
talaga dito kahit kailan.
Um-order kami ng drinks at umakyat sa second floor. May malaking veranda dun. Feel
na feel mo ang lamig ng simoy ng hangin, kitang kita mo din ang Taal Volcano na
medyo nakikita na sa konting liwanag.
"Nga pala, nanalo ka?" tinanong ko si Oliver. Muntik ko nang makalimutan yung race.
Pero kahit hindi ko naman tanungin, alam ko na ang sagot e. Gusto ko lang
makasigurado.
A man with few words, that's totally him. Grabe. Mababaliw talaga ako kapag ganyan
siya parati. In fairness naman, napapadaldal siya ni Zeo tuwing magkausap sila.
Pero pinaka-madaldal pa rin si Zeo.
"Congrats!"
"Thanks."
"Okay lang." Ngumiti si Oliver na parang may inside joke siya. "Nakita ko naman na
you guys were preoccupied."
Umubo si Zeo. Sumimangot naman ako kay Oliver. Yung pagkakasabi niya kasi e.
Aakalain mo, Zeo and I did something . . . basta something.
"Later na ah," banggit ko, changing the subject. "Ano na yung sasabihin niyo
sa'kin?"
"A few months back," simula ni Zeo. "May sinugod si Benjo sa Haut. He was so
pissed. I've never seen him that furious. Syempre, pare ko kaya tinulungan ko kahit
'di ko alam what was up. Grupo pala ng mga soccer player sa Silvestre." Tumingin
siya kay Oliver.
"That's why I said na ang liit talaga ng mundo," dagdag ni Zeo, bago uminom ng
coffee niya. "And it is."
Yeah . . . it is.
Tumahimik kami. Pero hindi awkward yung silence. It was actually very comforting.
Chill lang kami, drinking in the view and the coffee. Nakatingin kami sa Taal
Volcano. Malapit na ang sunrise. Hay. Ang ganda talaga dito. That's why I love it
here.
Naisip ko yung first meeting naming tatlo nina Zeo at Oliver nung Friday. Hindi
kami nagkasundo. Puro bad impressions kami sa isa't isa. Kahit yung simula namin
last night, hindi rin ganun kaganda. Lalo na kami ni Zeo. Hindi ko nga alam kung
paano pa kami naging okay ng kumag na yun. I wasn't expecting that at all.
Then I found out, nag-krus na pala mga landas namin a few months ago. Hindi ko
binanggit sa kanila pero . . . nasa labas ako ng Haut nung gabing sinugod ni Benjo
si Calvin. Nasa kotse lang ako, sa parking lot. Nakita ko from afar na pinalabas ng
bouncer ang two groups of boys. Biruin mo, two of them were Zeo and Oliver.
And now, here we are. Hanging out because of a research project, kasi napili ang
names namin at pinagsama-sama.
Ang weird talaga ni Tadhana. Parang pinagplanuhan niya ang lahat. Hindi ko alam
kung hahangan ko siya at matutuwa e.
Tumawa sila.
"Easy ka lang, Simba." Zeo grinned, leaning back on his chair. "You weren't the one
who was in a brawl."
"'Simba'?" tanong ni Oliver. Bago pa ako makasagot, he suddenly laughed and nodded
in understanding. "Ah, I get it. Simba," he said, while pointing at me. Then, he
pointed at Zeo and added, "Mufasa."
Oliver was wearing a meaningful smile. Yung tipong, parang nagaasar. Nako, please
lang. 'Wag naman. Baka umasa akong may something kahit wala naman. Pero I knew
better noh. Of course, wala lang yon.
I didn't mean to laugh, pero natawa ako dun. Na-imagine ko yung mukha ni Oliver na
nasa katawan ni Rafiki (yung baboon sa The Lion King na cartoons). Tapos sumasayaw
siya kung saan-saan. Si Oliver, sumasayaw ng ganun? Oh, my God. That's hilarious!
Hahahaha!
"That's the first time na tumawa siya ng ganyan sa joke ko," narinig kong binulong
ni Zeo kay Oliver.
"Damn, me and my big mouth," muttered Zeo na parang nagsisisi, pero nakangiti naman
siya sa'kin. Yung smile na . . . Yes, his oh so uber sexy smile.
Nang tinitigan ko siya ng matagal, dun lang nag-register sa'kin na namumula yung
kaliwang pisngi niya. And no, hindi siya nagbu-blush. Duh. Isang pisngi lang e.
Namumula, as in dahil nasapak siya kanina.
"M - May bruise ka," sabi ko sa kanya, sabay turo sa pisngi niya.
"Huh?" Hinawakan ni Zeo ang left cheek niya and he winced from the contact. "Shit,
oo nga."
Umalis ako sa upuan ko at pumunta sa counter sa baba. Humingi ako ng madaming ice
na nilagay naman nila sa empty cup. Umakyat agad ako pagkakuha ko. Pinapanuod lang
ako nina Zeo at Oliver pero hindi ko sila pinansin. Kinuha ko yung extra face towel
ko sa bag.
Nilagay ko sa towel yung mga ice at binalot ito. Pagtapos, inabot ko kay Zeo ang
ngayong ice pack na.
Seriously?
I rolled my eyes and moved my chair closer to him. Dahan-dahan kong nilagay ang ice
pack sa left cheek niya kung saan may bruise. Nagkatinginan kami. Ang lapit ng
mukha namin sa isa't isa. Lumakas na naman ang tibok ng puso ko, while my stomach
was going in knots.
Na-confirm ko sa sarili ko na may konting freckles nga siya sa may bandang taas ng
cheeks niya pati sa ilong. Ilong niyang pagkatangos-tangos.
Shucks. Ang ganda talaga ng mga mata niyang chocolate brown. Ang warm ng dating. It
was as if I want to melt in them then and there. Ang haba pa ng eyelashes niya.
Parang baby eyes sa makisig niyang mukha.
Natauhan ako. Zeo was showing off his uber sexy smile again. Diniinan ko yung lagay
ng ice pack sa pisngi niya. He yelped.
"Dahan-dahan naman," sabi niya, at tuluyan na niyang kinuha ang ice pack mula sa
kamay ko. "Nagjo-joke lang e."
"Mukha mo."
Inirapan ko siya at umatras ako agad, binalik ko ang ayos ng upuan ko. Napalingon
ako kay Oliver na hawak ang phone niya. Nakangiti na naman siya na parang may
inside joke siya. Inangat niya ang mukha niya at ngumiti pa lalo sa nakita.
Sinundan ko ang tingin niya at nakitang sunrise na. From the corner of my eye,
napansin kong nakatitig na din si Zeo dun.
We were quiet as we watched the sunrise. It was so peaceful, being with my new
friends as we watched a beautiful thing happen together.
Girlfriends ko sina Cass and Kylee. No doubt that I trusted them more than
anything. I also have guy friends around from high school pero pang barkada lang
tratuhan namin. And then, I have my cousins who I loved so much.
But my friendship with these boys, Zeo and Oliver . . . I felt like it was some
sort of unique bond. We might go back to our own different lives after this. We
might not keep in touch. We might not become friends. Pero there was no doubt na
after this, we wouldn't forget this experience - this particular moment.
Nor forgettable.
_____________
The thing I noticed about Filipinos is, you guys do long comments. As a writer,
masaya magbasa ng mahahabang comments. Kaya thank you, dudes! :)
I looked at my watch impatiently. Ten minutes pa. Ugh. Bakit kasi ayaw pa kaming
palabasin ng prof na 'to e? Andami nang tapos mag-exam oh. Nakakainis. Gusto niya
lang kaming pahirapan kasi wala siyang magawa sa buhay niya.
While waiting in this torture, nagmuni-muni nalang muna ako. Para maalis din muna
isipan ko sa nagugutom kong tiyan. Pagkatapos ng exam na 'to, SEMBREAK NA! YESH!
Hindi naman obvious na excited ako sa sembreak. I was too stressed these past
couple of weeks because of the finals, school projects, and then the last-minute
school activities. Sa totoo lang, gusto ko nang mag-quit sa student council. Pero I
couldn't. The students voted for me and trusted me. I couldn't just disappoint
them.
Hay.
Pero hindi bali, sembreak na naman e. Makakapag-relax na ulit ako. Kahit na it's
only for a month, susulitin ko. Shucks. Bigla kong naalala yung mga nangyari nung
August, last month lang. So many things happened. So many unforgettable things.
Napangiti ako, remembering our first time together at Statique. Tuwing pupunta ako
dun ngayon, maaalala ko yung dalawang Manila boys na yun. Shiz, nami-miss ko na
sila.
"Pupunta ka next week?"
Ano bang pinaguusapan nila? Ang ingay nila ah, para silang nasa palengke. Grabe.
Ang moody ko talaga ngayon.
Nang sa wakas ay pinalabas na kami, dali akong pumunta sa cafeteria. Nakabili naman
ako kaagad ng waffles (thank goodness). Kilala kasi ako ni ateng lunch lady.
Masungit siya sa iba, pero mabait siya sa'kin. Ganun talaga kapag charismatic.
Bwahaha!
I opened my phone habang kinakain ang waffle ko, looking through the messages.
Halos lahat from Cass and Kylee, saying na they were finished with their finals at
nagaantay sila sa usual tambayan namin.
Napatigil ako nang makita kong may message si Oliver sa'kin. It's been a while na
din ah. Okay, not really. It's been only five days since last kaming nagka-text.
Finals din kasi sa kanila, kaya parehas kaming busy.
Nanlaki mga mata ko. Shiz. Ang tagal na naming hindi nagkita. The last time na
nagkita kami, last day of August ata. Basta yun yung huling 'hang-out' namin na
pinapunta kami sa De La Soledad for the conclusion naming tatlo. Middle of October
na ngayon.
Despite that, we all managed to stay friends. In-add namin ang isa't isa sa
Facebook, finollow din namin ang isa't isa sa Twitter and Instagram. Medyo nag-
fangirl nga ng konti sina Cass at Kylee kasi syempre big time pa rin si Zeo, tapos
finofollow ako sa Twitter at IG.
Pinigilan ko sarili kong kiligin kasi we're only friends. I shouldn't put any
meaning to that. My gulay, finollow lang sa mga social networks may meaning agad?
Over.
Nagkaka-text pa rin naman kami ni Oliver. Si Zeo naman, hindi hinihingi yung number
ko. At hinding hindi ko kukunin yung sa kanya noh. No way.
Rule #5: Never ask for his number. Magka-tigasan na kayo, pero huwag na huwag mong
kukunin ang number niya. Hayaan mo na siya ang humingi. Kapag binigay niya naman
sayo, huwag ikaw ang unang magte-text. (But that's a different rule) Kung hindi mo
matiis, sige at kunin mo. Pero huwag mo siyang itetext. Kaya mas mabuti na ring
huwag mong kunin para walang temptation.
Yun talaga ang kailangan para masundan lahat ng rules sa list ko. It took me a
while to manage it, pero nakakaya ko naman. Buti nalang. Kahit na I'm itching SO
bad na hingin yung number ni Zeo kay Oliver, pinipigilan ko pa rin ang sarili ko.
Mi hindi nga nagpaparamdam ang kumag na yun e. Hindi naman sa nami-miss ko siya.
Kahit na dalawang linggo na kaming hindi naguusap pati sa Facebook, hindi ko siya
nami-miss noh. Sobrang busy daw siya sa upcoming championship nila, sabi ni Oliver.
Ah! Baka yun yung pinaguusapan ng mga classmates ko kanina? Hala. Next week na pala
yun. Hindi rin naman ako makakapanuod e. Tinatamad ako. Tsaka, walang nagyayaya.
Ayokong namang pumunta mag-isa. Ano ako, loner?
Nag-vibrate yung phone ko, bringing me back to reality. Ay, shiz. Hindi pa pala ako
nagre-reply kay Oliver. Na-tempt akong itanong kung kasama si Zeo. Pero if
championship na nga next week, I'm sure hindi yun makakasama. Kaya hindi ko nalang
tinanong.
Tumingin ako sa relo ko. Thirty minutes nalang before five o'clock.
Kumaway ang girlfriends ko nang makalapit na ako. Ubos na yung kinakain kong waffle
kaya tinapon ko yung wrapper sa basurahan, bago umupo sa bench kung saan tanaw na
tanaw ang Taal Volcano.
I could see the disappointment from her expression. Malinaw na malinaw, kasi yun
din ang nararamdaman ko. And I know na disappointed siya para sa'kin. Alam kasi
nila na . . . I sort of somewhat slightly like Zeo.
"Nope."
"Ay, ang tibay naman niya," malungkot na sinabi ni Kylee. "Baka nagpapa-miss?"
Huminga ako ng malalim. "Hindi na 'ko umaasa. Unreachable siya noh. Mas mabuti na
rin na ganito. Baka mawala na 'tong feelings kapag nilagyan ng distance."
"I don't think na unreachable pa rin siya," said Cass, as though she really
believed that.
"Ako diiin," added Kylee. "Kasi, hello? Friend mo siya sa FB, finofollow ka niya sa
twitter pati sa IG. Ilang beses ka na ring nakasakay sa kotse niya. Ayeee!"
"Agree ako kay Kylee," said Cass. "Imagine, nasa five or six hundred thousand
followers niya. Tapos, isa ka sa one-fifty na finofollow back niya. Ano pa ba,
babe?"
Hindi ako nagsalita. Naman e. Ayokong umasa. Kapag napunta siya sa reachable na
category, baka tuluyan akong mahulog sa kanya. Nakakatakot.
"Do I have to mention the part na may tawagan kayo?" asked Cass, smiling evilly
with a raised eyebrow. Nakakaloka yung tingin niya.
Sa expression ng mukha niya, alam ko na ang susunod. Oh, my God. 'Wag masyadong
malakas. Please lang. Pero malakas at matining ang tili ni Kylee.
Ever since nalaman nila yung nicknames namin ni Zeo for each other, pinagsama nila
yung nicknames at gumawa ng sarili nilang OTP. Ang lalakas ng trip.
Go with the flow. Yang letseng line na yan ang parati kong nariring last month kay
Sir Danny e, na sinundan ko naman. O, ano 'ko ngayon? May gusto ako kay Zeo
freaking Alcante. Like the rest of the college-age girl population. Effing shiz.
"Yan din ba sinabi mo sarili mo nung may gusto ka palang kay Ryan?" tanong ko kay
Cass ng nakataas ang kilay ko.
"E kasi naman," dagdag ni Kylee, "walang mangyayari kapag nag-over think ka. Basta
think positive lang." She was smiling broadly.
Optimistic talaga 'tong si Kylee kahit kailan. Hindi ako ganun e. Realistic ako.
Inaalam ko muna kung may pag-asa ako, bago ako sumugod sa isang bagay. Ayoko kasing
umasa sa wala. Ayokong ma-disappoint ng bongga in the end.
"Hindi ko talaga kayo makikita this sembreak?" I asked them, pouting. Aalis kasi
sila ng Tagaytay e. May mga kanya-kanyang lakad.
"Oo e," sagot ni Kylee. "Pupunta kaming Hong Kong nila papa't mama."
"Out of town naman kami ni Ryan," sabi ni Cass. "Buti nga pinayagan. Akala ko wala
nang pag-asa. Tapos, kinausap niya. Ayun. Malakas siya sa mga magulang ko e."
I smiled. Happy ako for her. Ang tagal din niyang nagka-crush kay Ryan ah. Hanggang
sa finally, one drunk night in Dionysus, umamin sa kanya si Ryan. Next day, akala
ni Cass wala lang iyon. Tapos, inulit ni Ryan yung confession. Boom.
Mami-miss ko ang pag 'Ayeee' ni Kylee, even if I don't want to say it out loud.
"Baguio," sagot ni Cass. Halatang pinipigilan niya yung kilig, pero fail. Obvious
na obvious ang kilig to the bones niyang mukha.
Fudge naman. Ilang linggo ko silang hindi makakasama. Ilang linggo kaming hindi
makakapag-chill lang ng ganito. Ilang linggo ko silang hindi makakausap. Okay, OA.
Pwede ko naman silang makausap sa phone. Pero syempre, iba pa rin yung sa personal.
***
Hindi ko na kailangang sabihin pa kay Oliver kung anong order ko pagdating namin sa
Statique. In fairness, even after almost three weeks (tinignan ko kanina sa
calendar), naaalala pa rin niya usual order ko.
After kasi ng first mornight namin nila Zeo at Oliver dito sa Statique, napapadalas
na kami dito. Either hapon or gabi tuwing nandito kami. Ewan ko, pero sinipag na
silang magpunta dito after that mornight.
Naalala ko tuloy tuwing si Zeo ang susundo sa'kin sa school. Hindi siya lumalabas
ng sasakyan niya. Hindi ko alam kung pagod ba siya galing sa drive or what. Now
that I think about it, galing siya sa basketball practice parati nung mga times na
yun. Nakikita ko din yung gym bag niya sa back seat e.
"'Musta exams?" I asked Oliver the moment we took our seats sa usual table namin at
the corner of the veranda.
Lumingon ako sa kanya. He was gazing at the landscape in front of us with a small
smile on his lips. In the weeks na hindi kami nagkita, nagpagupit siya. Trim lang
naman, pero mas naging neat yung itsura niya. Medyo mahaba pa rin naman, enough
para magkaroon pa rin siya ng bangs.
Naalala ko nung first time ko siyang makita. I thought he was boyishly cute. Hindi
siya pangahan katulad ni Zeo, pero Oliver carried his cuteness naman in a manly way
pa rin.
Simpleng "Later" lang ang sinabi niya sa'min ni Zeo bago siya umalis ng tuluyan.
Hindi na siya bumalik that night. Nag-sorry naman siya the next day. In-explain
niya na bihira lang daw siya malasing ng ganun. He just couldn't take the . . . um,
you know . . . urge.
"Truth be told, hindi," sagot niya. "Tas, we spent that morning here nung first
hang-out natin. Something changed."
"I have friends," dagdag niya, na ikinagulat ko. He doesn't usually open up like
this. And I'm not about to stop him. "But there's just some sense of calm kapag
kasama ko kayo e."
Again, I couldn't agree more. Hindi ko ma-explain e. Basta iba kapag kasama ko
sila. It was as if they were my soul brothers or something.
Tumango lang si Oliver. We were quiet for a moment, then may bigla akong naalala na
gusto kong sabihin sa kanya.
Oh, my God. Parehas talaga kami ng taste sa music. Right down to the specific songs
na pinaka-favorite ko sa bagong album ng One Republic.
"Ooh. Ang hirap." I bit my lip. "Shucks. Um, Feel Again siguro."
He nodded and smiled, mukhang impressed. He reached out his fist for a knuckle
bump. Natawa ako habang I bumped my fist with his. Tuwing may sinasabi ako about
music na agree siya, ginagawa niya yun.
Nagpatuloy kami sa kwentuhan about music and school like old times nang nag-ring
yung phone niya all of a sudden.
*Krrriiinggg*
I took a sip of my coffee and looked away. Ang akward naman kung papanuorin ko siya
habang may kausap siya sa phone. Not to mention, ang creepy nun. Pa-simple nalang
akong tumingin sa malayo, kahit na naririnig ko yung mga sagot niya sa kausap niya.
At that, napatingin ako kay Oliver. Holy shiz. Si ano ba ang kausap niya . . . ?
When he saw me looking, ngumiti siya ng meaningful. Confirmed. Si Zeo nga ang
kausap niya. Ngumingiti lang ng meaningful si Oliver kapag related sa'min ni Zeo.
"Katabi ko."
Geez, Lana. Don't freak out just because of that. Ang babaw mo.
"Kausapin mo?"
"Sigurado ka?"
Bakit? Ano daw?!
What the? What the fudging shiz? Ayaw akong kausapin ni Zeo? Walang hiyang Mufasa
talaga yun. Nakakapang-init ng ulo. Nakakainis. Pa-importante ang kumag. Bahala
siya sa buhay niya. Akala niya nami-miss ko siya? ASA!
Napatigil ako. Nakatitig lang ako kay Oliver siya sa sinabi niya.
. . . . .
. . . . .
. . . . .
OH, MY GOD!
WAIT!
Wait lang, bakit ako nagpa-panic?! Anak ng tokwa naman oh. Hiningi lang niya number
ko. Hindi naman niya ako tinatanong ng kasal or other na nakakagulat na mga bagay.
Grabe. Anong nangyayari sa'kin? Hindi naman ako ganito dati e.
Maybe it's because unreachable siya, tapos parang nagiging hindi na kaya medyo
unsettled ako sa mga nangyayari. I mean, come on! He's Zeo Alcante. Can we just
pause for a moment and think about that little fact? Allowed naman siguro ako
kiligin ng kahit konti.
Nagising ako sa boses ni Oliver. Nakita ko siyang natatawa, most probably nahuli
niya akong nakatunganga. Fudge.
"Go lang."
I caught Oliver shaking his head in amusement, as he typed on his phone. Kung pwede
lang burahin yung meaningful smile sa mukha niya, ginawa ko na.
Halata namang nakakaramdam na 'to e. 'Di lang nagsasalita. Ayoko namang i-confront
noh. I won't give him the satisfaction of confirming his assumptions. Without my
confirmation, assumptions palang yun.
"Who are you gonna root for next week?" I asked Oliver, changing the subject.
Ang kalaban kasi ng De La Soledad next week ay Silvestre University. Hindi na
actually nakakagulat na sila ang nasa finals dahil matagal na talaga ang rivalry ng
dalawang university na yun. Kaya matindi ang competitive spirits nila.
Natahimik kami. Parang may dumaang anghel. It's comfortable naman, as always. Not
awkward at all. And no, I'm not being sarcastic.
Tumango siya.
I sighed.
Yes, I will. Kahit ayaw ko, I'll definitely think about kasi yung pagkakasabi ni
Oliver aakalain mo talagang meron kahit wala naman. Kahit ayaw ko, hindi ko
mapipigilang mag over-analyze mamaya. Badtrip. Ang galing talaga ni Oliver
magpaisip ng tao.
_____________
Thank you to the person who commented the "Mufamba" thing last chappie. Nadagdag ko
pa dito. Hahaha! :D
Sabi nung friends ko: Yung mga ayaw pa rin daw kay Zeo, in denial lang daw.
Hahahaha! Totoo ba? ;)
Grabe ah. More than one week na simula nung kinuha ni Zeo number ko kay Oliver,
pero hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin nagte-text yung Mufasa na yun. Mi hindi man lang
niya sinundan yung three-day-rule. Hindi e. Gumawa pa talaga siya ng sarili niyang
rule.
Tuwing may magte-text, kahit ano pang ginagawa ko, pupuntahan ko kaagad yung phone
ko para lang tignan kung siya na. Nung naliligo ako, dali-dali pa akong lumabas ng
banyo para lang tignan kung siya yung nag-text. Nung nagluluto ako, tumakbo to the
other side of the kitchen para lang i-check kung siya na. Nasunog pa nga yung Pesto
e.
Peste.
Saturday pa naman na bukas. Championships na. Hindi ko alam kung pupunta ba ako or
what. Oliver's letting me take my time to decide. Kaso nakakahiya naman kung bukas
pa ako magte-text para lang sabihin na hindi ako makakasama.
Hindi naman kasi porke't kinuha niya ang number ko, e ibig sabihin magte-text na
siya agad. Pwede namang kinuha lang niya. End of story. I shouldn't put meaning
into things. Ayan tuloy. Nag-expect ako when I shouldn't have. Nasayang pa tuloy
ang eight days ko na kakamukmok sa wala.
Fudge. Ayoko ng ganito. Nagiging pathetic ako over a guy. I swore I'd never be like
this again. Tapos, kay Zeo pa? Holy shiz. No way.
So I stopped moping and sulking. Kinuha ko ang DVD copy ko ng Grease at nanuod sa
kwarto ko. Nagpaluto ako kay Manang Judith ng fried chicken, para habang nanunuod
ay may nangangatngat ako.
I was already at the part when Zuco and Sandy met unexpectedly at their school pep
rally when my phone vibrated. Napatingin ako dun. Nagkaron ako ng urge na tignan
kung sino, pero I stopped myself.
Baka sina Kylee lang, araw-araw kong katext yung mga yun e. So I just shrugged and
returned to watching the movie. Pero all through out the film, tingin ako ng tingin
sa phone ko. Hindi ko mapigilang i-wonder kung si ano na yung nag-text.
Before I change my mind, hinablot ko na yung phone ko at tinignan kung sino ang
nag-text. Pinilit kong i-expect na sina Cass lang ang nag-text, o kaya si Benjo.
E kaso hindi.
Huminga ako ng malalim. Okay, chill. Text lang yan. I tried to calm my abnormally
beating heart. Sa sobrang excitement ko, nanginginig ang mga kamay ko. What the
shiz? Nakakainis yung reaction na nailalabas niya sa'kin ah.
Rule #6: Never reply too quickly nor too long. Kapag nag-text ka kaagad, halatang
sabik ka masyado. Kapag nag-text ka ng masyadong matagal, nakakatamad kang maging
ka-text. Dapat tama lang. 4-8 minutes, para hindi halata. Edi mukhang may pagka-
busy ka or hindi lang siya ang ka-text mo. *exception: Kapag nag-reply siya after
30 minutes, mag-reply ka din after 30 minutes. Kapag 1 hour, after 1 hour din.
Tiisin mo.
I waited for another six minutes bago ako nag-text sa kanya. Inalala ko din yun
Rule #2 (Keep your cool) para kalmado lang ako sa pag-reply. Hindi halatang
inaantay ko text niya all week. I'll keep that secret to myself.
Rule #7: Lessen the smiley face and 'haha'. Whenever you're chatting with him,
bawasan ang smiley face at pagtawa. Magmu-mukha kang fangirl. Pwera nalang syempre
kung nakakatawa talaga ang pinaguusapan niyo. You can also use 'XD' pero huwag
masyado.
Nag-reply si Zeo after fifteen minutes. See? Sinusunod din niya ang rules. Or
sadyang busy lang talaga siya at assuming ako.
Zeo: U coming tomorrow?
Yes, I'm very well aware kung anong meron bukas. Pero he doesn't know that.
That's another rule. Oo, madaming rules pagdating sa chats and texts. Dito kasi
yung may pinaka-madaming nagkakamali na girls. Communication lang kasi ang basehan
dito. Kaya dapat very careful kapag katext or kachat yung gustong guy.
Rule #8: Appear indifferent. Don't let him find out na you know almost everything
about him. Kapag may sinabi siya once at tumatak sa isip mo, huwag mong ipapaalam
na naaalala mo pa. First of all, creepy yun for guys. Kahit na sweet for us girls
when it's the other way around. Sa mga lalaki, hindi. Obvious na agad na may
something ka para sa kanya. Second of all, he will be baffled by your indifference
making him more interested.
Zeo: 4 real? Championships na, Simba! U won't even come 2 support me? :(
Me: Oh, yeah! Well, u won't need me there. Dmi mong supporters kaya. Haha :P
At that, hindi siya madaling nag-reply. Napaisip tuloy ako. Hala. Tama ba yung
sinabi ko? Masyado ba akong naging harsh? Parang hindi naman ah.
Binasa ko ulit yung text ko. Ayos lang naman. Kung ganun, bakit ang tagal niyang
mag-reply? Okay, now I feel stupid. I should re-direct my attention muna while
waiting, para hindi ako nagpa-panic. Parati nalang ganto kapag nagte-text sa'kin
yung crush ko.
Shiz naman, Zeo oh. Kailangan talagang magpakilig? Bakit ang landi mo? Sa'kin ka
lang ba ganyan, or sa iba din ganyan ka? Of course, sa iba din ganito siya. Duh. He
wouldn't be a chickboy if he wasn't.
Still, 'di ko mapigilan ang puso kong bumilis ang pagtibok. Naks. Gumaganon.
Badtrip kasi 'tong kumag na 'to e. Napapadrama ako ng 'di oras. Fudge.
Me: Landi mo, Mufasa.
Nako. Kung alam mo lang, Zeo. Kung alam mo lang talaga. Pero buti nalang at hindi
mo alam. O, diba? Mixed emotions talaga e.
Alam mo yun? Hindi siya nagparamdam ng matagal, tapos - Boom! - ito ang bubulaga
sa'kin? Okay, fine. Merong mga moments sa FB, pero asaran lang yun. Like, may
picture siya na nasa tarpaulin and I'd comment na his hands look weird or
something. Tapos, he'd reply a quick comeback. Mga ganun lang.
OLLIE!!!
Hindi man lang niya sinabi sa'kin?! For more than one week, he kept that little
information to himself? Edi sana pumayag na ako last week pa! If only I'd known . .
. Ugh.
Pero teka, baka gusto nila that I come in my own will at hindi mapipilitan dahil
lang sa nandyan na yung tickets? Knowing these Manila boys, malamang na yun nga.
Fudge. Ang babait talaga nila, kahit papaano. Parang tuloy ang sama kong kaibigan.
Friend ko pa rin naman si Zeo kahit na may gusto ako sa kanya e. Bakit ba ayaw kong
pumayag? Ngayon ko lang na-realize na ang arte ko pala. Wala namang dahilan para
tumanggi ako. Ayan na nga oh, may ticket na. Tapos, may kasama pa akong manunuod.
Si Zeo na star player ng De La Soledad, siya na mismo ang may gustong pumunta ako
dun. Kahit pa sabihin nating gusto niya akong pumunta dun as a friend, I still have
to support him. Actually, no. I want to support him.
So I set my deliriously maarteng part aside. I won't let that part of me cloud my
decisions. Time to act as a friend that I am.
I laughed out loud. Sabay banat ng ganun. Typical Zeo act talaga. So I decided na
sakyan ko nalang siya.
I panicked.
Oh, my God! Bakit ko yun sinend? Ang stupid ko. Wala yun sa list e. (Huwag niyo
akong gayahin.) Holy shiz talaga. Ano kayang iniisip niya ngayon? Patay ako.
Ayokong maging awkward bukas! Nakakainis. Anong gagawin ko?
Tinititigan ko lang yung text ko. Oh, my God. Kailangan kong linawin sa kanya na
biro ko lang yun. I couldn't bare the thought na isipin niyang may crush talaga ako
sa kanya.
Grabe. Nakakahiya yung sinabi ko. Bakit ko pa kasi yun sinabi e? Bakit pa kasi ako
nag-joke ng ganun? Baka seryosohin niya. Hala. Paano na yun?
Hindi ko na kaya. I deleted the text. Magkukunwari nalang ako ng hindi ko yun
tinext sa kanya. Tama. I'll just pretend wala akong sinabing ganun sa kanya.
Ignorance is bliss.
Not long after I deleted the text, he finally replied. Dali-dali ako sa phone ko.
Binuksan ko kaagad yung message. Napakagat pa ako sa labi in anxiety.
Nung lumabas na yung message, napanganga ako. As in, abot sahig siguro na nganga.
Sabay pa na yung heart ko was beating so fast and hard, while my stomach was going
crazy in knots. I could only stare at his text.
Zeo: Joke my ass. Haha. Now I know u like me, too. ;)
Nakatitig pa rin ako sa nagi-isang word na yun. I couldn't remove my eyes from that
word na nakapag-bagabag ng buong isipan ko.
At twitter . . .
_____________
Lumingon ako kay Oliver. Nasa kabilang side siya ng VIP section. Kasama niya yung
mga co-Silvestrians niya. Ako naman, kasama ko si Benjo. Hindi ko ine-expect na
nandito siya kasi hindi naman siya uma-attend ng mga ganto.
"Finals na, cuz! We have to beat those Silvestrians into pulp!" determined niyang
sinabi kanina nung nagkagulatan kami dito.
Actually, ayos na rin na nandito siya para may kasama ako. Si Oliver kasi nakakulay
blue na long-sleeves. Halatang Silvestrian Dragons ang bet niya. Kaya nag-decide
kaming magkita nalang after the game.
Kanina pa nagwa-warm up yung players. Sa totoo lang, I couldn't take my eyes off of
that kumag. Ito ang first time na nakita ko siya wearing his jersey uniform in
person. Mas lalo ata akong nagkagusto sa kanya.
Let's just say I have a thing for athletes. But yung totoo, diba lahat naman tayo
merong 'thing' for athletes? Lalo na't gwapo, has great build, and skilled in his
sport. There's just something enchanting about a guy and his sport.
Zeo laughed with his teammates. Hanggang dito, tanaw na tanaw ko yung dimples niya.
Ang gwapo niya talaga. As usual, I couldn't help but smile while I watched him
laugh. But I quickly caught myself (thank goodness) bago pa may makakita sa'kin.
Tumingin ako sa paligid. Mukhang wala namang nakakita. Phew! That would be
mortifying kapag may nakakita sa'king nakatunganga habang nakatitig kay Zeo from
across the court. Shiz. Buti nalang naagapan ko.
I returned my eyes to Zeo and caught him looking at me. Tumingin ako sa likod ko,
just to make sure na ako nga ang tinitignan niya. Yup, ako nga.
Tinignan ko siya uli. He grinned boyishly at me, and I couldn't help but smile
back. Nakaka-miss talaga 'tong si Mufasa. He suddenly raised an eyebrow and pouted.
Hala. Bakit? Tapos, hinawakan niya yung damit niya sabay turo sa'kin.
Ah, I wasn't wearing green today. I chose to wear a white sleeveless 90's kid
shirt, para neutral. And he was clearly asking bakit hindi ako nag-green.
Tinuro ko si Oliver sa kanya. Sinundan naman ng mata niya. Tinignan namin si Oliver
na naka blue at mukhang kanina pa pala kami pinapanuod. Oh, my God. Naka-meaningful
smile na naman siya.
I rolled my eyes.
"Lana!"
Napalingon ako bigla sa kanan, pagkarinig ng pangalan ko. Nakita ko kung sino ang
tumawag sa'kin at namukhaan ko siya. Yung lalaking nagyayabang last week sa
classroom, nandito nga rin pala. Shiz. Ayoko sa kanya. Ang yabang masyado e.
Okay, mayabang din si Zeo. Pero kaibigan ko yun e. Itong lalaki na lumipat sa tabi
ko, hindi ko kaibigan. Tawagin na niya akong snob and unfriendly, pero hindi ko
talaga siya feel.
"Nandito ka rin pala?" taas baba niyang sinabi, naka-smirk din siya.
"Sino yan?"
Tumingin ako sa tall figure ni Benjo sa left side ko. He was wearing a green raglan
shirt and jeans, while his hair was in its usual curly disarray (a Lopez trait).
Parehas kaming maputi, at namana din niya ang big dark brown eyes ng pamilya tulad
ko.
Friendly naman ang pinsan ko. Pero parang may na-sense din siya na hindi maganda
kay . . . uh, hindi ko alam pangalan nung classmate kong lalaki.
Hindi siya gwapo. Nagfi-feeling lang. Halatang trying hard sa ubod ng daming gel
niya sa buhok. Obvious din na nagpupulbos siya sa sobrang puti ng mukha niya.
Aakalain mong binabaran ng espasol. Actually, kung hindi siya mukhang bakla, may
itsura na sana siya e . . . sa probinsya.
"Sean," sabi ni Mr. Espasol, nang nakalahad ang kamay towards Benjo for a
handshake. Tinanggap naman ni Benjo at tumango nalang sabay sagot ng, "Benjo."
I looked away, hoping to end the conversation. Harsh na kung harsh. May something
na hindi ko talaga gusto sa lalaki na 'to e. Hindi ako mapalagay. It was as if my
instincts were screaming at me to get away from him.
My cousin didn't look too sure, but he nodded all the same.
Tumingin ako uli kay Zeo pero kinakausap na siya ng mga teammates nila ulit. Oh,
well. Makakausap ko naman siya mamaya after the game e. May usapan na kaming tatlo
nila Oliver na magkikita-kita kami sa Haut ng mga 10pm.
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko. I automatically looked at Zeo. Pero hindi siya nakatingin
sa'kin. Nasa gitna pa rin sila ng court e. Tumingin ako dun sa lalaki sa harapan
ko.
"Uh, yeah," I said quietly, pasimpleng tumitingin sa paligid kung may mga
nakatingin. I noticed there were only three people looking in this direction; si
Benjo, Sean, at Oliver.
"Here," sabi nung lalaki, kaya napatingin ako sa kanya. "Pinabibigay ni . . ." The
blushing reserve player paused to clear his throat, habang inaabot sa'kin what
looked like a green letterman jacket. ". . . ni um, M - Mufasa. Wear it daw."
Napa-ubo ako. Wala naman akong kinakain or iniinom. Basta na-ubo nalang ako bigla
sa sinabi niya. Na-feel kong naginit yung cheeks ko, while my heartbeat accelerated
naman.
I slowly took the familiar green letterman jacket from him. Hindi na ako nakapag
thank you dahil umalis na siya agad.
Z. Alcante
I heard Sean gasp. Hindi niya nga pala alam na close kami ni Zeo.
There was suddenly a loud buzzing noise, indicating na simula na ang mismong game.
Pumwesto si Zeo sa may harapan ng VIP section. Basically, sa harapan namin. He
swiftly signaled me to wear the jacket, before facing the court again.
Napanganga ako sa sinabi niya. Ang lakas ng boses niya! Holy shiz.
Inirapan ko nalang si Benjo at sinuot ang jacket. Ayoko nang mag-inarte. Wala rin
naman akong mapapala kapag gumanon pa ako.
Napansin kong pinapanuod lang ako ni Sean, kaya tumingin ako sa kanya. Inalis din
naman niya agad yung tingin niya sa'kin. Good.
We watched the game na. When Zeo ran past us while dribbling the ball, he saw me
wearing his jacket. He raised his head and our eyes met. He flashed his uber sexy
smile at me, before turning around and making a three point shot.
He was smiling confidently. And for the briefest moment, I could swear that he
glanced at me again. Tapos nun, hindi na siya tumingin ulit sa'kin for the rest of
the game.
***
After the game, Benjo and I ate dinner first before going to Haut. Si Oliver,
makikipag-dinner sa other friends niya. While si Zeo naman, meron silang victory
dinner sa bahay ng coach nila sa Greenhills.
Akala nga namin, mago-overtime. Buti nalang, hindi na-shoot nung Silvestre player
yung last shot before the game ended. Grabe, tuwang tuwa kami at nagtatatalon dun
na parang mga ewan so sobrang saya.
Sa totoo lang, gusto kong puntahan si Zeo. Pero duh. Alam ko namang he was too busy
pa with his family, friends, teammates, and schoolmates na nagsuguran dun sa court
when the buzzer went off. May interview pa din siya with the press and everything.
Kaya I decided not to go nalang.
Yun nga lang, hindi ko alam gagawin sa jacket niya. Hinubad ko na rin yun nung
palabas na kami sa stadium. Baka kasi makita ng mga tao at baka rin gumawa sila ng
assumptions. Mahirap na.
To our surprise, sumunod at sumama sa'min ni Benjo si Sean sa dinner. Feeling close
si kuya ah. Shiz naman. Buti nalang, madami-dami yung mga nag-text sa'kin kaya
distracted ako sa pagre-reply. Hindi ako mapipilitang kausapin siya.
Cass: HOY! Nkita kita sa TV! Knin yung suot mong jacket ha? Details!!!
Cass: Anyway, congrats sa DLSU! Paki-kiss ako kay Zeo. Hahahahaha! JK.
Pinigilan kong ngumiti sa huling text na nabasa ko. Pinilit kong maging poker face
para hindi mapansin nga mga kasama ko ang kilig ko deep inside.
Inuna ko munang replyan sina Cass at Kylee, giving them all the details. No doubt
magde-demand 'tong mga ito na mag-skype kami bukas na bukas. Wala na kasi si Kylee
e, nasa Hong Kong na. Si Cass nalang ang nasa Tagaytay. Sa Monday pa ang alis nila
ni Ryan.
Yung kay Oliver, simpleng text lang na I'll see him later din - with a smiley face.
While waiting, nakipagusap muna ako kina Benjo. I regretted it immediately. Sean
was boasting about his trip to Palawan last summer. Ugh. Sarap kutusan nitong
espasol na 'to.
My phone vibrated. Taking the opportunity not to listen to this douche, kinuha ko
kaagad yung phone ko and saw na nag-reply na yung inaantay ko.
Zeo: Buti nlang pla maganda jacket ko and it carried u. Haha
Zeo: Ouch!
Ano daw? Sabay banat ng ganun? And is he referring to . . . No way. Si Sean ba ang
tinutukoy niya? Bakit ang interesado naman ata ni Zeo kay Sean? At bakit parang may
nafi-feel akong something sa stomach ko? Parang nae-excite na kinikilig? Nae-emote
lang ata ako. Pero hindi e. Iba ito.
Hmm. Sa bagay. Nung suot ko kanina during the game, hindi siya annoying e. Hindi
din niya ako masyadong kinausap. Para bang, he stepped away.
So ginawa ko ang sinuggest ni Zeo at sinuot ang letterman jacket niya. Buti nalang
pala dinala ko dito sa loob. Wala lang. Gusto ko lang amuyin kapag walang
nakatingin.
Oh, my God. I'm turning into a obsessive fan girl! Holy shiz. Pero I can't help it
e. Ang bango bango talaga ng amoy niya. I don't think magsasawa ako sa scent na
yun.
Nang tumingala ako, napansin kong nakatingin sa'kin si Sean. Blank yung expression
ng mukha niya. Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. Mukhang natauhan siya dun kasi binaba
niya ang tingin niya at kumain na.
Tumingin ako kay Benjo na parang may ka-text ata sa phone niya. Baka pinapapunta na
siya ng friends niya sa Haut. Magkikita-kita din kasi sila dun e.
I decided to text Zeo and thank him for his suggestion about the jacket. Perks of
being one of his close friends. Bwahaha!
Me: It worked! :D
When I felt so full, nagyaya na ako kay Benjo na umalis na kami. Hindi na naman
masyadong nagyabang si Sean kaya um-okay na rin yung dinner.
"Wait, fifteen minutes pa," awat ni Benjo. "Magpapababa muna ako ng kinain."
I sighed. Tumahimik sa table. Unlike yung silence kapag kasama ko sina Oliver at
Zeo na peaceful, dito ang awkward. I settled my eyes on the plates on the table to
distract myself. But then, someone broke the ice.
Sabay kami ni Benjo na lumingon kay Sean. His expression was full of curiosity,
pero not in a good way. It was as if he was digging dirt on me.
Wow ah. Feeling close na nga, tsismoso pa? Kapal din nito ah. Gusto ko siyang pag-
sabihan na it was none of his business. Pero I knew better. One wrong move, and he
could spread rumors about me in school that was anything but pretty.
VP ako sa school. I knew his kind of guy.
"Yup."
"Close?"
Grr. "Uh-huh."
"Pare, that's personal," Benjo said. "Back off lang ng konti, will you?"
Tinaas ni Sean ang mga kamay niya in a defensive way. He smiled sheepishly at us,
but I didn't believe it for a second.
He seemed to get it because he nodded and asked for the bill. Mabilis namang
naibigay sa'min yung bill kaya nakaalis din kami agad. Tinanong pa kami ni Sean
kung saan kami pupuntang mag pinsan. Buti nalang sinagot ni Benjo na sa condo muna
niya, when really pupunta na kami sa Haut.
We tried to keep our cool, pero may pagka-obvious na nagmamadali kami ni Benjo sa
pagpunta sa black na Jeep Wrangler niya. Kumaway nalang kami kay Sean sa kotse niya
nang dumaan kami. When we were out of sight, tsaka na humataw si Benjo.
Half-way na kami sa Haut nang nagsalita siya. Walang nagsasalita dahil dinadamdam
namin ang katahimikang hindi namin nakuha nung dinner.
Madali akong lumingon sa kanya after hearing what he said. Seryoso ang mukha niya.
Para siyang si Zeo e. Palabiro most of the time. Pero kapag nagseryoso, seryoso
talaga. No bullshits around.
Rule #9: Never spill on someone he knows. Kahit pa anong pilit sayo, kahit pa
sobrang close mo, kahit pa trusted mo talaga, huwag na huwag mong ipapaalam na
gusto mo siya sa kakilala niya (unless gusto mong iparating dun sa taong gusto mo).
You can never be too sure. And always remember, DO NOT underestimate the Bro Code
(Google it, kung hindi mo alam).
Si Zeo lang ang nakahuli sa'king magsinulang - ever. Yes, ganun ako kagaling. Kaya
no worries ako dito kay Benjo.
Nakangiti ako. "Oo nga." Hindi ko na dinagdagan. Magiging suspicious na kasi kapag
dinagdagan ko pa e.
"Pano pag nalaman mong may gusto siya sayo, anong gagawin mo?"
Napatigil ako dun. Biglang bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. Medyo na-mental block ako
sa sinabi niya. But I quickly caught myself, bago ako mahuli ni Benjo.
Tumawa ako. "E anong gusto mong gawin ko? Magtatatalon sa saya? I'm not that kind
of girl, cuz." Syempre, hindi sa harapan niya ako tatalon noh. Pupunta ako ng banyo
at dun ko ilalabas ang kasiyahan ko. Duh. "Tsaka, pwede ba? Friends kami ni Zeo. I
value that friendship. Kaya please lang, 'wag niyong lagyan ng malisya."
Obvious na narinig ni Benjo ang katarayan sa boses ko dun sa huli kong sinabi. That
seemed to have made him shut up.
Good. I didn't want to talk about it. Ayokong nagiisip yung ibang tao ng mga ganung
bagay. Ayokong umasa from their words. Okay lang kung sa sarili ko lang yung
assumptions e.
_____________
"Later, cuz," paalam sa'kin ni Benjo before going off to find his friends.
The dim-lighted and loud club welcomed me. I looked around. Holy shiz. Ang daming
tao. More than the usual. Mukhang galing din yung mga nandito from the stadium ah.
Naghanap ako ng familiar face and saw Oliver sitting by himself sa dulong booth. I
quickly made my way towards him through this thick crowd. Hindi ko man lang na-
realize na nagtitinginan na pala sa'kin yung mga tao kung hindi pa napatigil ng
bongga yung babae sa harapan ko. Nanlaki ang mga mata niya habang nakatingin sa
chest ko.
Grabe naman. Alam ko namang hindi ganun kalaki ang chest ko. Pero hindi naman siya
masyadong flat para pagtinginan ng mga tao. Napatingin tuloy ako sa dibdib ko.
Ay, shunga. Hindi naman pala yung dibdib ko yung tinitignan nila e. Yung pangalan.
Specifically, yung apelyido na nasa letterman jacket na suot ko ngayon. Nakalimutan
kong suot ko pala ito.
Naramdaman kong naginit ang mga pisngi ko. Shucks. Nakakahiya. Ito yung iniiwasan
ko e. Ayokong ma-tsismis. Friends lang kami ni Zeo! Baka kasi kapag may kumalat na
tsismis, layuan ako ni Zeo. Ayokong masira friendship namin.
Pero wait lang, hindi ba siya yung nagpasuot nito sa'kin? Hindi naman siya bobo.
For sure, alam niyang may tendency na matsi-tsismis at matsi-tsismis kami kapag may
mga taong nakitang suot ko 'to.
Conclusion: Okay lang sa kanya, kaya dapat okay lang din sa'kin.
Magpapatuloy na dapat ako sa paglakad when I felt someone put his arm around my
shoulders. Sa amoy palang, kilala ko na kung sino.
Nagkaron ako ng goosebumps from what he did. Oh, my God. Buti nalang at naka-jacket
ako. Hindi kita yung epekto ng boses niya sa'kin. Phew!
"May gustong um-arbor niyan," patuloy niya in his deep husky voice. "Better it be
with you than her."
Tumingin ako sa kanya. Shiz! Wrong move! Naka-close up yung face niya. Kitang kita
ko yung brown eyes niya kahit may pagka-madilim dito sa club.
Napatingin ako sa labi niya. Shucks. Natural pink, may pagka-kissable pa. Halatang
he doesn't smoke. Oh, my God. Nate-tempt akong . . . Nevermind. Parang tuloy gusto
kong umiyak sa gwapo niya. Ang unfair talaga.
Naglakad na ulit ako papunta sa booth kung nasaan si Oliver. Sure akong sumunod si
Zeo sa'kin kasi ang daming kumakaway at bumabati sa likod ko. Actually, nasanay na
'kong madaming bumabati at nagpapa-picture sa kanya tuwing lalabas kami nila
Oliver. Keri lang.
When I neared the booth, tumayo si Oliver at sinalubong ako. We briefly hugged. And
when he pulled away, umupo na ako sa booth. While nag 'bro hug' naman sila ni Zeo
saglit - yung with the pat on the back like boys do.
"Sorry, bro," nakangiting sabi ni Zeo kay Oliver. "We're just that good."
I shook my head in amusement. Ang yabang niya talaga. But the thing is, sanay na
kami ni Oliver sa kanya. And without his overconfident side, he wouldn't be the Zeo
we came to love as a friend.
Oliver shrugged. "Or maybe ganun ka lang ka-inspired." Sabay tingin sa'kin with a
meaningful smile, habang bumalik siya sa upuan niya sa harapan ko.
What the? Is he implying something that I shouldn't think about because my
delusional side would be rejoicing if so? Fudge. Oliver naman kasi e. 'Wag ganyan.
I laughed, habang Zeo took a seat beside me. Syempre, hindi pwedeng magpahalatang
affected ako noh. Kailangan cool lang.
"Inspired kasi alam niyang napuno yung stadium dahil sa kanya?" biro ko.
"Grabe, you really think I'm that conceited huh?" tanong ni Zeo sa'kin ng tumatawa.
He looked quite amused.
He stopped laughing. His infamous uber sexy smile was now plastered on his face.
"I am," he admitted. "Pero maybe Oliver's right. Maybe I was inspired, but not for
the reasons you think."
Hindi ako sumagot. Tinaasan ko lang siya ng kilay, waiting for him to continue.
Pero deep inside, kinakabahan ako. Hindi ko alam kung dahil sa excitement or fear.
Maybe both.
Pwedeng guni-guni ko lang. Pero may nagbago sa mata niya. I mean, the way he looked
at me. Parang . . . intense. Tapos, his gaze fell down to his jacket that I was
wearing. I caught the corner of his lips twitch, as if pinipigilan niyang ngumiti
ng malaki.
Tumango lang ako. "Worth it naman e." Ang galing ko talagang umarte.
We did shots. Inom ako ng inom hanggang sa I felt myself starting to get loose.
Gusto ko lang kalimutan yung pagka-miss ko kina mommy at daddy. Ilang araw na
silang hindi tumatawag to check on me. Baka busy. Either way, I wanted not to care.
Plus, gusto ko ring kalimutan 'tong unreachable na katabi ko even just for a night.
I swore I'd never like an unreachable. O, ano 'ko ngayon? Kinain ko rin mga sinabi
ko? Psh.
I know naman na hindi solusyon ang pag-inom. Duh. Pero I just want to have fun
tonight. Isang gabi lang, to forget everything else and focus on having fun.
Napansin ata nila Zeo at Oliver ang goal ko dahil at some point pinanuod nila akong
inumin yung pang seven or eight na shot ng Tequila? 'Di ko na sure. Haha.
Napatingin ako sa dance floor. Ooh! I wanna dance! So I got up from my seat at
tinulak si Zeo palabas so that I could get out also. Pero he wouldn't budge.
"Sige na, Mufasa," I pleaded him. Hinawakan ko ang braso niya, at napatigil ako
saglit. I glanced where my hands were at before going back to look him in the eyes.
"Ang tigas talaga ng braso mo," bulong ko. Napakagat ako sa labi ko.
He froze. Napatingin din siya sa labi ko. He wasn't smiling anymore. Hmm.
Distracted siya. My hands went to his broad shoulders, while I slowly straddled him
on his lap. Huminga siya ng malalim sa ginawa ko, making me smirk. I took off his
jacket and placed it on his side. I leaned closer until my lips were right beside
his right ear.
"See yah," bulong ko, sabay alis sa lap niya at tumakbo sa dance floor.
HA! Zeo fell for it! Kahit tipsy ako, kaya ko pa rin namang mag-isip noh. At kapag
may gusto akong gawin, nobody can stop me from doing it. Not even a kumag with the
most handsome face I've seen in person.
Sayang nga lang hindi ko na nakita yung reaction niya sa pagmamadali kong makaalis
dun bago pa nila ako mapigilan.
Pumwesto ako sa bandang gitna. Shiz. Ang init. Buti nalang hinubad ko yung jacket
ni Zeo. Kung hindi, lusaw ako dito ngayon. Kadiri kaya yun. Ayokong masira ng pawis
ko yung amoy ng jacket niya.
Biglang narinig kong pinatugtog ang isa sa mga favorite kong Maroon 5 songs na
mukhang ginawan ng remix nung DJ. Nice one, DJ!
I cheered along with the crowd, raised my hands, and started to dance with the
beat. Ngumiti ako sa sarap ng feeling of being free . . . Free of thoughts. Free of
feelings. Free of everything but the music and the moment.
Nasa bandang gitna na ng kanta when I felt a random stranger's hands on my waist.
What the shiz? Sisikuhin ko na sana pero bigla akong binulungan.
I froze for a moment but I loosened up just as quickly. Must be the alcohol.
I felt Zeo pull me into him, hanggang sa naramdaman ko na ang chest niya sa likod
ko. Dahil nga flirty ako kapag tipsy or lasing, I leaned my back pa into him.
Masyado akong brave ngayon kaya hindi ako natatakot to get flirty with him.
We started dancing. I could feel his breath on my neck, making me tilt my head
sideways. Yung isa kong kamay, napunta na sa ibabaw ng kamay niya. The other one
naman reached around his neck. Then, one of his hands traveled to my stomach. Sa
totoo lang, Unti-unti akong nagiinit sa ginagawa namin.
Holy shiz. The look on his face! Napaka-serious ng expression niya. Hindi naman
siya galit. Pero sobrang intense ng titig niya sa'kin na napanganga ako ng konti.
His gaze wandered to my lips. In a swift motion, nilagay niya ang kamay niya sa
likod ng leeg ko at nilapit ang mukha namin sa isa't isa - obviously aiming for a
kiss.
OH, MY GOD!
Pero bigla siyang tumigil. Isang inch nalang ang layo ng mga labi namin from one
another. No! Don't stop now! Pero he did. Huminga siya ng malalim at kinuha ang
kamay ko. He led me back to the booth, kung san nandun pa rin si Oliver na
nakangiti.
"You and your meaningful smiles," I muttered, habang inaabot ko yung tubig na
binigay naman sa'kin ni Zeo. Kinuha ko sa kanya at uminom. "Psh."
"And don't get me started sa ngiti mong kumag ka," sabi ko kay Zeo. Hindi ko na
mapigilan ang sarili ko. I wanted it all out. Pake ko ba kung malaman nila iniisip
ko? Mas okay nga yun e. Wala nang secrets.
"Bakit, what's up with my smile ba?" tinanong ni Zeo, sabay flash niya sa'kin ng
uber sexy smile niya. At tinatanong pa talaga niya ah? Langyang lalaki talaga 'to.
"That!" Tinuro ko yung ngiti niya. "Yan mismo! Nakakainis kaya yang uber sexy smile
mo. Nakakapanghina! Like, hello? Alam mo bang hindi ganun kadaling mag-poker face?
Duh!"
Oliver burst out laughing. Napatalon ako, sabay tingin sa kanya. Nagulat naman ako
dun. 'Di ko pa siya nakikitang tumawa ng ganyan ka-jolly. Hala. Anong nangyari sa
kanya?
Binalik ko ang tingin ko Zeo. Parang natatawa rin siya, like Oliver. Pero
pinipigilan niya. Hala. Bakit niya pinipigilan tawa niya? Mukhang ewan lang.
Iirapan ko na sana sila when Zeo caught my chin between his fingers. Nagkatinginan
kami. His intense gaze was back. I gulped. Carefully, he leaned his face closer to
mine.
Sobrang lakas ng tibok ng puso ko na hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko habang
pinanuod ang mukha niyang papalapit. Napatigil ako sa paghinga. Oh, my God. I can
clearly see every detail of his face.
OH, MY GOD.
I knew what he was doing; he was letting me decide kung hahalikan ko ba siya ng
tuluyan. But like I said, nakainom na ako. At kapag ganto ang state ko, malakas
talaga ang loob ko. Not to mention, I'm such a flirt when there's alcohol in my
system.
. . .
. . .
. . .
. . .
Gently, I pulled away and opened my eyes. Feeling ko, ang high ko sa nangyari. For
a moment, I saw na mukhang dazed si Zeo. Tinitigan niya ako as if trying to figure
me out.
Hindi ko alam kung paano, pero it was like the alcohol suddenly left my system at
naging sober na ako uli. Like, POOF! Sober na, hindi na tipsy. Kaya naman na-
realize ko kung anong ginawa ko. And of course, I panicked.
HOLY MOTHER OF SHIZNESS! WHAT DID I JUST DO?! DID I JUST KISS ZEO?! WHY THE FUDGE
DID I KISS HIM?! OH, NO! OH, NO! OH, NO!
Gusto kong magsalita. Gusto kong i-justify yung actions ko. Gusto kong bawiin yung
kiss. Okay, well not really bawiin kung kiss kasi . . . basta worth it yung kiss.
Pero ayokong lang mag-isip ng kung ano si Zeo! Baka masira friendship namin! 'Wag
naman sana please.
Magsasalita na dapat ako when Benjo stumbled on our table. Oliver and Zeo caught
him naman. Tawa siya ng tawa. Halatang wasted na. Pinaupo siya nung dalawa sa tabi
ni Oliver. Abot tenga yung ngiti niya.
"Tara road trip!" yaya niya.
Napatingin ako kay Benjo ng matagal. Parang nakikinita ko na kung anong gusto
niyang sabihin. Sa Monday ang alis nina Cass at Ryan papuntang Baguio e.
"Bahala kayo, basta I'll go on a road trip. It's all settled. Nakausap ko na sina
Ryan. Naghahanap nalang ako ng mga kasama."
"Sina Sev ba, have you asked them na?" tanong ni Zeo.
"Oo," sagot ni Benjo, papikit-pikit. "Punta raw silang Europe nila Filipina e." His
eyes found me. Uh-oh. "Cuz! Samahan mo 'ko! Sige na, please!"
Napatingin sa'kin sina Zeo at Oliver. I bit my lip. Wrong move. Sinundan ni Zeo
yung labi ko. Inalis ko agad ang pagka-kagat and I cleared my throat.
"Solo trip yun nila Cass ah," I reminded Benjo. "'Wag mo na silang istorbohin."
"Yun na nga e," sagot niya. "Natatakot si Ryan na magmaneho ng ganun kalayo. Baka
daw 'di niya kayanin. Tsaka, ano ka ba? The more, the merrier!"
Medyo gumaang ang loob ko. May pagasa pa yung friendship namin kung normal na ang
trato namin sa isa't isa kahit papaano. Pero nalungkot din ako ng konti. Kasi if he
could act as if nothing happened, ibig sabihin talagang sanay na siya sa mga ganun
and then act indifferent afterward.
Lumingon ako agad kay Benjo na kinakausap si Oliver na akala mo e close na sila.
Shiz. Nakakahiya naman talaga 'tong si Benjo kapag lasing.
Oh, my God. Seriously? Anak ng gulay talaga 'tong si Benjo. But then again, I think
mas mabuti nang sina Oliver yung niyayaya niya kaysa sa complete stranger.
Nagkatinginan kaming tatlo. We were asking one another the same question with the
use of our eyes. Natuto na kaming mag-converse from just an eye contact dati pa e.
"YES!!!" sigaw ni Benjo na nag-fist pa sa ere sa sobrang saya. "Akong bahala sayo
kina Tito. No problem!"
Pagkasabing pagkasabi niya nun, knock out siya sa lap ni Oliver. Kawawa naman si
Oliver. Nag-panic siya sa gulat. Paano ba naman, lalaki yung bumagsak at natulog sa
lap niya? Hindi lang yun, face head on sa . . . um, ano niya. Tapos, nasa club pa
kami.
Hindi namin napigilang tumawa ni Zeo. Oliver doesn't make faces very often. Kaya
priceless yung itsura niya sa nangyari. Imbes na tulungan namin siya, tumawa pa
muna kami. When he glared at us, dun lang kami kumilos ni Zeo at inayos si Benjo.
Agad namang lumayo si Oliver at umupo sa kabilang side ng booth. Halatang
kinilabutan siya.
It felt nice. Hindi naman pala magiging awkward e. The usual pa rin ang pakikitungo
namin sa isa't isa. The kiss was . . . a sudden urge. And I was glad na hindi
nagbago pagtrato sa'kin ni Zeo. I just hope 'wag niyang isipin na meron akong
feelings sa kanya, kahit na meron naman talaga. Ayoko pa ring ipaalam.
"I want to help," said Oliver, looking very sorry. "Pero may lakad ako tonight."
"Yeah."
Oliver hesitated.
He grabbed his leather jacket and made a move to leave. Naglalakad na siya palayo
when he suddenly stopped. He looked over his shoulder at tinignan niya kami ni Zeo.
Then, he smiled. Oh, my God. Not that damn meaningful smile of his again! Ugh.
After the last word, that cute chinito left with a facial expression na halatang
nagpipigil ng tawa. Holy shiz! Nako, lagot yung Oliver na yun sa'kin bukas.
Tatadtaran ko siya ng spam messages! Nakakainis siya! Bakit pa niya kailangang
sabihin yun? Shiz talaga.
Nagulat ako nang marinig kong tumawa si Zeo. He was laughing wholeheartedly that I
almost smiled. Almost, kasi nakakahiya pa rin yung reason kung bakit siya tumatawa.
"As if naman, diba?" Zeo asked me. Tapos, inalis niya ang tingin niya sa'kin.
Wow. Nasaktan ako dun ah. Para na rin niyang sinabi na wala talaga akong pagasa sa
kanya. Para na rin niyang pinaalala kung gaano siya ka-unreachable. It stung.
Kinuha ni Zeo yung natitirang shot glass na may laman sa table. Habang nakatingin
sa crowd sa dance floor, tinungga niya yung shot. He briefly made a sour face, bago
niya binalik yung shot glass sa table. Tinignan niya ako. Then, he smiled his uber
sexy smile at me.
_____________
Siya daw yung nanantsing? Sa pagkakaalala ko, ako yung pumayag at dumiin nung kiss
namin. So how could he say that? Hmm. Was that . . . Was him saying that his way of
being a gentleman?
Tumingin ako sa kanya. Hindi ko alam yung ibig niyang sabihin. He glanced at me and
saw my expression. Tapos, nagsalita ulit siya.
"Ba't ka naglasing?"
Ah. I looked down on my hands na nasa lap ko. Nag-hesitate ako kung sasabihin ko.
Tapos, I remembered na isa siya sa mga pinaka-close kong kaibigan. Pwede kong
sabihin sa kanya what was troubling me.
"Na-miss ko lang sina mommy't daddy," I said quietly. "Almost a week na silang
hindi nagpaparamdam e. It happened many times before na naman. Nakakalungkot lang
minsan."
'Di ko na babanggitin yung part na isa siya sa mga reasons why I wanted to be brave
and flirty tonight. Hindi ko lang ine-expect na siya pala yung magiging ka-flirt
ko. Suddenly, I felt like I should say something. Hindi pu-pwedeng akuhin niya yung
kiss kanina. It was partly my fault, too.
"I'm sorry if I kissed you," bulong ko, biting my lip. "Kapag naka-inom lang talaga
'ko nagiging ganun ka-minx. 'Di ako iyakin or laugh trip kapag nakakainom. Instead,
I'm very flirtatious to the point na sobrang lakas ng loob ko."
"Bakit naman?"
Tumaas ang kilay ko. "And what makes you think na virgin pa 'ko?"
He instantly stopped laughing. Tumingin siya sa'kin with a shocked face. Buti
nalang, red light at nakahinto kami sa tagal ng titig niya sa'kin. His shocked face
turned serious and curious, while he was studying me. Nang nag-green light na,
nakatingin pa rin siya sa'kin. It took all my will power para naka-poker face pa
rin ako. Siya naman, seryoso pa rin yung mukha. Hindi naman mukhang galit. Sayang.
"First mo yung gago mong ex?" tanong niya sa'kin na parang hindi makapaniwala.
Pinilit kong pakinggan yung selos sa tono ng boses niya. Kaso parang wala naman.
Mukhang disappointed lang siya. Sobrang disappointed.
"Shucks, joke lang!" inamin ko kaagad ng tumatawa. Ayokong magbago yung tingin niya
sa'kin kaya I gave in. "Virgin pa 'ko noh. Kaya nga naghanap yun ng iba e."
"Oo nga."
I caught a ghost of a smile from his lips, bago pa niya inalis ang tingin niya
sa'kin at ini-larga ang sasakyan. Maaaring guni-guni ko lang. Pero kinikilig pa rin
akong isipin.
"Good," he mumbled.
Lumaki ang ngiti ko sa mukha. Naks. Concerned siyaaaaa. Haba ng hair ko. Ayos lang.
Minsan lang naman e. Tsaka, it's not like ipagyayabang ko. Itatago ko lang 'to sa
sarili ko.
"Basta don't drink without me or Ollie around," dagdag niya. Sa tono ng boses niya,
it was more like an order.
E bakit ba? Hindi ko na mapigilan yung ngiti ko e. Tsaka, nakakatawa naman talaga
si Zeo kapag seryoso. Parang out of character. Haha!
Grabe 'tong pinsan ko. Naglalasing talaga ng bongga kapag may celebration. At dahil
nag-champion nga ang De La Soledad kanina, he made it an excuse to get wasted.
Sheesh.
Si Zeo mostly ang nagbuhat kay Benjo. Wala namang masyadong tao sa lobby kaya wala
masyadong nagtinginan sa'min. Taga-pindot lang ako ng elevator at taga-bukas ng
pintuan sa condo unit.
Naalala ko bigla si Dex nung napatingin ako sa door ng kwarto niya. I also
remembered na baka tulog na yun. Unlike Benjo, Dex is a good boy. Puro aral ang
inaatupag. Hindi naman siya mukhang nerd. Actually, he looks decent enough. Alam mo
nga alang talaga na seryoso sa studies niya.
"Dito nalang," sabi ko kay Zeo, pumasok ako sa kwarto ni Benjo at tinuturo ang
queen-sized bed niya.
First time niya kasing maka-akyat dito sa condo ni Benjo. Usually, hinahatid lang
nila ako ni Oliver hanggang sa entrance ng Magnifico Tower. Plus, hindi tumatambay
dito si Benjo. Kaya kahit friends silang dalawa, sa mga bar at clubs sila nagbo-
bonding.
Zeo laughed out loud. "I wasn't gonna say anything. Defensive mo."
"Umalis ka na nga," sabi ko, while pushing him out of the condo.
"Thank you."
"Wait."
He planted his feet on the ground bigla kaya hindi ko na siya natulak. I looked at
him, wondering what made him stop all of a sudden. Tapos, nakita kong nakatingin
siya sa pintuan ng kwarto ni Dex.
And as if on cue, lumabas si Dex sa kwarto niya na kinakamot ang mata. Napatigil
siya nang makita niya kami ni Zeo. Naka boxer shorts lang siya and white shirt.
Maputi siya at baby face ang itsura kaya medyo cute din.
"Oo."
I bit my lip, pinipigilan ang tawa ko. Yung expression ng mukha niya ay priceless.
Hindi ko ine-expect na ganto magiging reaction niya over this. Akala ko, magiging
wala lang sa kanya na may nakatira pa ditong lalaki bukod sa pinsan ko. Pero now na
nakikita ko yung expression niya, let's just say na kinikilig ako na he's sort of
freaking out.
Napanganga ng konti yung bibig ni Zeo. He looked at Dex who was still watching us,
and then back at me. Sinarado niya ang bibig niya at tinignan ako with a suspicious
look.
"Lalaki siya, Simba," sagot ni Zeo, as if that explained everything. "Okay lang
sana kung bakla siya. No offense, man," dagdag niya kay Dex na pinapanuod pa rin
kami.
"What's the big deal? Gentleman naman si Dex kahit na may cr -"
I didn't continue. Parang ang kapal naman ng mukha ko kapag sinabi kong, 'kahit na
may crush siya sa'kin.' Even though it's true, 'di ko pa rin dapat sabihin yun.
Lalo na't nandyan lang siya sa tabi.
Tsaka, malakas ang kutob ko na bakla siya kahit ayaw niyang aminin e. Feeling ko
talaga si Benjo yung crush niya at dinadahilan lang niya dun na ako daw. 'Di lang
ako nagsasalita kasi baka paalisin siya dito ni Benjo kapag nalaman. Kawawa naman.
Mukhang na-gets ni Zeo yung muntik ko nang sabihin, kasi understanding crossed his
features. Ang bilis talaga niya maka-gets. Nakakainis. Buti nalang hindi pa niya
nage-gets yung feelings ko. Phew!
Sa totoo lang, ine-expect kong magagalit si Zeo. Or at least, I was hoping. I mean,
obvious namang nag-freak out siya after finding out all about Dex. Pero hinding
hindi ko ine-expect na he would look smug. Kasi yun yung naging expression niya e.
"Hey, man. Thanks for looking out for my girl ah." Sabay akbay sa'kin ni Zeo.
Nanlaki ang mga mata ko at napanganga ako habang tinititigan ko siya. Tung tibok ng
puso ko, nagwawala na naman.
WHAT?
"Uh." Dex glanced at me. "Sure, Zeo." Tinalikuran niya kami para kumuha ng bottle
of water sa fridge. When he faced us again, he said, "Um, good night."
Inantay ko munang makapasok si Dex sa kwarto niya bago ko tinulak si Zeo palayo
sa'kin. Pero mukhang inaasahan na niyang gagawin ko yun, kasi he was able to dodge
my shove and step away from me.
Tumatawa na siya.
"Bakit mo yun sinabi?" I demanded. Namumula ako, pero hindi dahil sa galit. More
like, kinikilig ng bonggang bongga.
"Ayaw mo nun? He won't make a move on you na." He flashed me his uber sexy smile
after saying that.
Oh, my God. Bakit parang dumadami yung kilig moments ko with him? At bakit parang
lumalala yung pagkakilig ko sa kanya habang tumatagal? Oh, no. Please, no. I don't
want to fall for him. 'Wag muna noh. Masyado pa kayang maaga.
Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. "And so what naman ba kung pumorma siya sa'kin? Single
naman ako ah."
"What, gusto mo yung ganung lalaki?" snorted Zeo, amused. "Mukhang bading?"
"Inggit ka lang, light brown eyes kasi siya," asar ko kay Zeo.
"Contact lens lang yun. Mine's the real thing," he added smugly.
"Gwapo naman."
"Hatid na kita."
"Yeah," he grinned.
"Minsan na nga lang mag kusang loob, you'll reject me pa. Wala 'to."
Aw. Sobrang cute niyang mag tampo na hindi ko tuloy napigilang ngumiti ng abot
tenga. Shiz. Ang galing talaga niyang magpa-kilig. My gulay. Pero teka lang, the
list! Rule #2!
Inalis ko agad ang ngiti ko bago pa man niya makita. Buti nalang at hindi siya
nakatingin. Dapat cool lang. Dapat hindi niya makitang nasasabik ako ng bongga. Oh,
my God naman kasi e. Nakakakilig na magyaya siya.
Nawala ang kilig ko sa katawan nang sinabi niya yun. Tinignan ko siya ng masama,
giving him my best evil look. Yung evil look na pati angry bears e magmu-mukhang
cute.
Hindi siya natinag ng evil look ko kasi nakangiti pa rin siya. Actually, nag-smirk
pa siya lalo. Kailan ba siya natinag? Badtrip siyang kumag siya ah. Ang tibay
tibay. Parang never pa siyang natakot sa tana ng buhay niya. Langya.
Sinuntok ko ang braso niya. Gusto kong sabihin na nasaktan ko siya sa ginawa ko.
Gusto kong sabihin na napaluhod siya sa sakit. Gusto kong sabihin na I walked off
with my chin held high. Kaso, hindi yun ang nangyari e.
Nakakahiya mang aminin, nasaktan ng sobra ang kamao ko sa pagka suntok ko sa mala
posteng braso ni Zeo. Pinigilan ko namang hindi mag make ng face. Kaso talagang
masakit e. Lumaki na nga butas ng ilong ko sa pag hinga ng malalim na hindi naman
effective.
Syempre, tumawa ng bonggang bongga si Zeo. Obvious naman kasi sa namumulupot kong
mukha na ako yung nasaktan sa ginawa ko e. Hindi pa nakuntento si Zeo. Hinawakan pa
niya ang tiyan niya sa kakatawa. Mala LMAO lang.
Hala, sige! Tawa pa! Hindi pa abot sa lobby yang halakhak mo.
"Yan kasi e," natatawa pa rin niyang sinabi. He straightened up and looked at me
with the biggest grin I've ever seen him wear. Tinaas niya ang braso niyang
sinuntok ko at nag-flex ng biceps sa harapan ko.
Aaah! My eyesss!
Ang yabang talaga nitong kumag na 'to. Fudge. Nakakapanggigil. Argh. Siya na gwapo.
Siya na may dimples. Siya na magaling mag basketball. Siya na magaling magpakilig.
Siya na may uber sexy smile. Siya na may drool-worthy hot bod. SIYA NA!
"Sarap putukin ng ego mo," irap ko. Then, I mocked a sad look. "Kaso 'di kakayanin
ng needle e, kailangan ko pa ng drill."
May dumi ba sa mukha ko? Shiz. Baka may pimple ako? Hinawakan ko yung mukha ko.
Wala namang masakit.
I frowned. "What?"
Nagising siya. He shook his head lightly and smiled at me, flashing his dimples in
the process. Amused siyang sumagot ng, "Wala." Pagka-sabi niya nun, nauna na siyang
naglakad papuntang elevator.
At twitter . . .
_____________
"Nasa bahay nila," she answered. "Mas convenient kasi 'tong Montero kaysa dun sa
Mustang e. Lalo na't road trip 'to." Ngumiti ng malaki sa'kin si Cass.
I returned her grin. Nakaka-excite naman kasi talaga itong gagawin namin. At first,
I thought magrereklamo si Cass na hindi niya maso-solo si Ryan. Pero mukhang mas
na-excite siya when she found out na kasama ako. Oha.
Too bad nga lang na Kylee couldn't come with us here. We Skyped with her last
night, sobrang lungkot niya na hindi siya makakasama sa'min. Mamayang madaling araw
pa kasi uwi nila. Hindi siya aabot.
"You got one helluva luggage, Lan," chuckled Oliver, shaking his head in amusement.
"Damn," breathed out Zeo, after arranging our bags sa likod ng SUV niya. "You're
such a girl, Simba."
Duh. Four days and three nights kami sa Baguio noh. Not to mention, magba-bar kami
for sure. Tapos, baka mag swimming pa kami sa may falls dun. Kung saan saan kami
pupunta, kaya kailangan prepared. Yung beauty essentials pa, hindi pwedeng
kalimutan.
Ay, dinala ko nga rin pala yung favorite books and DVDs ko. Hindi naman kasi
pwedeng iwan ko sila sa bahay. Baka malungkot.
Tumango kaming lahat at sumakay na. Ako, Oliver, at Zeo sa Mercedes Benz na SUV ni
Zeo. While sina Cass, Ryan, at Benjo naman ay sa Mitsubishi Montero Sport ni Ryan.
Nag eye-contact kami ni Cass saglit bago kami sumakay sa kanya-kanyang mga
sasakyan.
Sa backseat ako, while the Manila boys took up the front. Sa kabila naman, I saw na
si Benjo yung nasa backseat.
"Akong bahala sa music," declared Oliver, habang kinakalikot na yung audio system
ng kotse ni Zeo. Nagpatugtog siya ng Parokya Ni Edgar.
Hindi na kami umangal ni Zeo. Ever since naman kasi, si Oliver na talaga and nagha-
handle sa music tuwing magkakasama kami sa iisang sasakyan e. Nasanay na kami. Ayos
naman taste ni Zeo sa music, kaso puro old school hip hop. Wala namang masama dun.
Puro yun nga lang.
"Excited?" tinanong sa'kin ni Zeo from the rear view mirror. From here, kitang kita
ko yung ngiti niyang nakakaloko.
Zeo laughed and put the car on gear. Nauna sina Ryan sa'min. Dadaan pa naman kami
sa Statique before fully hitting the road e. Bili ng kape, pang pagising. I glanced
at my watch.
04:23am
Dumaan kami sa Statique para mag-takeout ng coffee and bagels. Medyo na-shock ako
na hindi lang pala si Oliver ang hindi pa nakakalimot. Pati si Zeo alam pa rin ang
usual order namin ni Oliver nung siya yung nag-order for us.
Mukhang hindi naman nagulat si Oliver. Malamang, hindi naman big deal sa kanya yung
little things na yun e. He's a guy. Pero sa'kin, oo. Kaya na-touch kaya ako ng
konti.
That's the thing kasi e. When it comes to girls remembering details about a guy,
creepy ang dating for the males. Pero kapag boy naman ang nakakaalala ng
information about a girl, it's very sweet. Ang labas ay they pay attention. Not for
girls, though. Sa babae kasi, ang tingin nila ay may pagka-obsessed dun sa dude
kapag naalala niya.
Unfair, diba?
Lumingon ako sa kanya. He looked bored and impatient. Well, hindi ko siya
masisisisi. Nagugutom na 'ko e. I sighed and went over to the counter.
"Hi, follow up po ng order namin," I smiled at the female who was flirting with
Zeo.
"Wait lang po ng ilan pang minutes, ma'am," sagot sa'kin nung babae, sabay tingin
ulit sa kumag na naka-smirk sa tabi ko.
Kung hindi lang ako natatakot na baka duraan nung babae yung inumin ko, tinarayan
ko na siya ng abot langit ngayon. Kaso baka kung ano pang kababalaghan ang ilagay
niya dun ng wala akong kamalay-malay kaya 'wag nalang.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit, pero parang nage-enjoy si Zeo sa attention that he's
getting from the female bartender. And I'm also getting this feeling na alam niyang
badtrip na ako, pero natutuwa siya sa pagkainis ko.
Aba, ang kapal ng mukha. Pinatulan pa yung babae nang ngitian niya nung uber sexy
smile niya. Nakakainis siya! Akala ko ba nagbabawas na siya ng mga babae niya?
Bakit pa niya dinadagdagan? Shiz.
Someone authoritative-looking passed by. I caught a glimpse of his name tag, and
nag-rejoice ako nung makita kong 'Manager' ang nakalagay sa ilalim ng name niya.
"Ay, ganun?" malungkot kong sinabi ng medyo malakas, with the sad face and
everything. "We've been waiting for a few minutes na kasi e. Ang layo pa ng
lalakbayin namin. Wala na bang ibang way para ma-rush yun, miss? Sige na naman oh.
Please?" Binuhos ko na ang puppy dog look ko dun.
Napalingon naman yun Manager. Kumunot ang noo niya at napatingin dun sa babaeng
lumalandi kay Zeo. Hindi makapag-salita yung babae. Ha. Ano ka ngayon, miss?
Tinignan ako uli nung Manager at nilapitan ako. He smiled warmly, as though gagawin
niya ang lahat ng hilingin ko. Pinigilan ko na mag mukhang smug.
"What's your order, ma'am?" the manager asked politely. Sinabi ko. He nodded and
said, "Right away, ma'am."
Wala pang isang minuto, naka-ready na yung takeout namin. See? Ganun lang naman ka-
simple e. Pinapatagal nung babae para makalandi siya. Psh. Desperada si ate.
"Finally," narinig kong sinabi ni Oliver. Yung boses niya sobrang bored, like that
first meeting namin as groupmates sa De La Soledad. Tapos, he gave the female
bartender a superior look nung dumaan kami sa counter. Parang irap, pero guy
version.
"May lumandi pa kasi kay Zeo e," I replied, before I could stop myself.
I bit my lip. Fudge. Dapat hindi ko yun sinabi. Lumalabas tuloy na parang -
Napatawa silang lahat sa sinabi niya. Wala akong nagawa kundi tignan nalang siya ng
masama habang isinusumpa ko siya sa isip ko.
"Yuck. We're friends kaya," I reminded him, making a move towards his SUV.
Napatigil ako, my eyes widening. Lahat din sila napatigil sa sinabi ni Zeo. Holy
effing shiz. He did not just say it out loud, did he? Guni-guni ko lang yun, diba?
Diba?! Pero I looked at everyone's faces. Yup, sinabi nga talaga ni Zeo. Even
Oliver was surprised na that kumag just announced and acknowledged that kiss in
front of every-effing-body.
"Mufasa," I started. "Kung may gusto ka sa'kin, just say so." Hindi pa ako
nakuntento. Kinindatan ko pa siya, bago tuluyang sumakay sa backseat ng SUV niya.
As soon as the door was closed, huminga ako ng malalim. Shiz. Nagha-hyperventilate
ata ako. Badtrip talaga yung Zeo na yun. I-announce daw ba bigla bigla yung
nangyari? 'Di man lang ako winarningan para makapag-handa man lang kahit papaano.
Holy shiz.
Nag-vibrate yung phone ko. Thankful for the distraction, kinuha ko agad ito from my
pocket at nakitang nag-text si Cass. I rolled my eyes. Alam ko na 'to.
Nang umandar na ang sasakyan, biglang may tumugtog na kanta na para bang sakto sa
sitwasyon ngayon. What the?
Natawa si Oliver. Tahimik lang kami ni Zeo. Nahalata din kaya niya? Hindi naman sa
awkward, nakakabigla lang na yun pa talaga yung kantang nag-play.
"Memorable, bro," replied Zeo. Hindi ko nakikita itsura niya, pero I know him well
enough to tell na nakangiti siya nung sinabi niya yun.
"Definitely."
Ayan na naman sila sa bromance nilang dalawa. Sila lang talaga nagkakaintindihan
minsan. Sometimes lang naman, kaya no worries. Pero feeling ko may hindi sila
sinasabi sa'kin e, which is saying something kasi we're really tight.
Letseng Bro Code na yan. Kung tao lang yan, pinitik ko na yan sa noo e.
***
Nag-stop over kami somewhere in Bulacan, yung mga gas station with the restaurants
along the expressway. We had a heavy breakfast sa McDonald's. I thought
magrereklamo yung Manila boys, but they surprised me by appearing as if they were
used to it.
Tuwing magkakasama na kaming tatlo lang, hindi kami kumakain sa McDo or sa Jollibee
e. Then again, parati nila akong libre. Imagine how much I was able to save because
of that. Don't get me wrong, I've tried to treat them many times. Kaso sobrang
persistent talaga nila. Nasanay na tuloy ako.
Tapos na kaming kumain. Nagpapababa lang muna ng nakain before going on the road
again. Nasa CR sina Benjo at Zeo, while kaming apat natira dito sa McDo.
"Sama 'ko, Ollie," sabi ko, standing up and following Oliver outside.
Pagtingin ko sa likuran ko, nakita kong naka-smirk si Cass sa'kin habang naka-akbay
sa kanya si Ryan. Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay. She still hadn't forgiven me for not
telling her the 'kiss' thing. I shook my head in amusement and went up to Oliver na
naghi-hintay sa'kin.
Kung 'di ko pa siya close, baka binatukan ko na siya ngayon sa sinabi niya.
Assuming e, kahit na tama naman talaga siya. Pero dahil close na kami, tinawanan ko
nalang siya.
"Kayo kasi e," dagdag ko. "Sinanay niyo 'ko sa libre. Ayan tuloy."
I followed Oliver inside. A few heads turned to glance at me. Tumaas naman ng konti
yung confidence level ko habang naglalakad to where Oliver was.
Simple lang naman suot ko, with the plaid shirt, denim shorts, and Nike kicks. Pero
shiz. Ang galing ko talagang magdala ng damit.
I know. How conceited of me, right? Pero I can't deny the fact na may itsura ako
kahit papano. Kaya nga hindi ako nai-intimidate nung dalawang Manila boys e.
"What happened last Saturday night, pag-alis ko?" asked Oliver suddenly. Tinapos
muna niya yung tine-text niya before turning his eyes to me. As usual, hindi ko
mabasa yung expression ng mukha niya.
I was about to answer na wala naman, but then I remembered how Zeo reacted when he
found out about Benjo's male roommate Dex.
"Yup."
"I mean, okay lang sayo na dun ako mag-stay knowing the fact that there's another
male living there na hindi ko kaano-ano?"
Tinitigan ako ni Oliver. I could clearly see the curiosity in his eyes boring into
mine. But before he could say anything, siya na yung next sa cashier. Inantay ko
siya sa gilid.
He smiled and nodded. Dinagdag niya yun sa cashier, then paid everything. In a
couple of minutes, tinabihan niya ako sa may malapit sa receiving area.
Napalingon ako agad kay Oliver. Nakita ko siyang nakangiti na parang natatawa.
Grabe. Ang cute niya talaga, especially when he's smiling. Nakaka-proud maging
kasama niya, sa totoo lang. Yung tipong, kapag may mga babaeng nago-ogle sa kanya
habang magkasama kami, mapapaisip ako na, 'Close ko yang cute na yan! Bleh!'
"Pano mo nalaman?" I asked him, a little bit in shock na he figured it out agad.
Ngumuso ako. Oo nga. May point siya. Irrational sometimes si Zeo, pero that still
doesn't explain the reason why he freaked out. Fine, aaminin ko na. Gusto ko talaga
lagyan ng meaning until someone says na hindi big deal yung reaction ni Zeo.
At that, Oliver laughed out loud. Hindi basta basta tumatawa si Oliver ng ganito.
Bihira lang. Sa totoo lang, ang weird na makita siyang humahalakhak. Parang hindi
siya.
"Yeah, I can imagine," bulong niya, nang humina na ang pagtawa niya.
Napatigil ako dun. Effing shiz. Nakakainis 'tong ability ni Oliver to read minds.
Hindi ko alam kung may powers talaga siya or magaling lang talagang magbasa ng tao.
Sanay na naman ako. Pero 'di ko pa rin mapigilang mag-isip.
"Isn't there?"
Anak ng gulay naman oh. Pinipigilan ko na ngang hndi mag-assume para hindi ako ma-
disappoint at masaktan sa huli e. Pero sa mga banat ni Oliver, sino ba namang hindi
mapapaisip? Nakakainis. Kahit sobrang simple lang nung sinabi niya, malaman e.
Shiz.
Kitams? Babanat ng ganun, tapos bibitinin ako? Ang harsh! Torture kaya ang mag-isip
at pilit intindihin ang mga actions ng mga lalaki. Oh, my God. Nakaka-frustrate!
Tumayo si Oliver para kunin yung orders namin, iniwan ako with my mind going on
overdrive. Iniisip ko yung actions ni Zeo recently. From the texts last Friday
hanggang sa pag-blurt out ng 'kiss' in public kanina.
Pero kasi . . . Nanglalandi lang yun e! Hello? Hindi naman ako bobita. I'm well
aware of his girl conquests. Hindi yun nagco-commit. Hanggang fling lang yun. And
besides, paano naman siya magkakagusto sa'kin? That's like, next to impossible.
Why? Kasi unreachable siya! I don't care what Cass and Kylee said. Basta
unreachable si Zeo. Tapos.
Mukhang hindi naman nagulat si Oliver sa tanong ko. His facial expression remained
unreadable as he stared at me.
Holy shiz. Since when did he know how to smoothly divert the conversation?! Oh, my
God. Nahahawa na siya kay Zeo. Paano ko siya mahuhuli ngayon?
What the? Bakit ba niya pilit na dina-divert yung topic? Ibig sabihin ba, meron nga
talagang something and he's helping to cover it up? Hmm.
"Nevermind na nga lang," I said, turning my back to him and heading to the exit.
And they say having guy friends are easier. Psh. Hindi lagi noh.
Oliver caught up easily with me naman. Napatingin ako sa suot niya. Ngayon ko lang
napansin na naka blue plaid polo shirt siya over a white sando, tapos jeans. He
looked laid-back na may pagka boy-next-door ang dating.
"Why not?"
Bumalik kami sa McDo at nakitang nagaayos na yung iba palabas, kaya naman inantay
nalang namin ni Oliver silang makalabas.
Before I could reply, nagsi-labasan na ang mga kaibigan namin. Lumapit agad si Zeo
kay Oliver and nilahad ang kamay. Inabot naman ni Oliver yung Frappe kay Zeo.
"Yeah."
Zeo grinned. "Thanks." Nagkatinginan kami when he turned his eyes to me.
Ever since Saturday night, parang napansin ko na ang intense na tumingin ni Zeo
sa'kin. Hindi naman sa uncomfortable. May 'oomph' factor lang tuwing titingin siya
ng ganun.
Naka simple dark green shirt and jeans siya that fit him in all the right places.
He looked buff, but not in a scary 'I'm a wrestler' kind of way - it was more along
the lines of 'Hey, look at me! I'm drool-worthy' way. I noticed din na he had on a
thin silver chain necklace. All in all, he looked effing hot.
"Let's hit the road!" exclaimed Benjo.
"Tara!"
_____________
Kakababa palang namin ng sasakyan and we immediately stared at the house that we
were going to stay in for a few days. Mala mansion yung laki, pero at the same time
ang homey. Pang rest house talaga.
I looked around. Ang lalayo din ng agwat ng mga bahay dito sa village nila Ryan.
Pero obvious din naman na pang mga mayayaman yung mga may-ari ng mga bahay dito.
"Pasok nalang kayo," said Ryan. "Inayos na nila manang yung bahay para sa'tin. They
stocked it with food na rin. We're good for the next few days."
After a few moments, we started getting our things from the vehicles.
"Yun oh!" exclaimed Benjo from the front door ng bahay. "Sino sino?"
"Siya, tsaka si Mika," sagot ni Ryan, without looking up from his phone.
Kung hindi lang siya pinsan ni Ryan, hindi namin yun ito-tolerate.
"You better prepare, man," Benjo told Zeo, laughing. "Obsessed yun sayo."
Fudge. Yun pa pala. Mika has a major crush on Zeo since forever. Ugh.
Tinitigan ko siya. For sure, mage-enjoy siya sa attention na makukuha niya from
that girl. No doubt about it. Na-feel ata niya na may nakitingin sa kanya because
he looked up from picking up his bag and his eyes landed straight on me.
He smirked at me. Obvious na nasa isip niyang magseselos ako about the fact na may
pupuntang girl na patay na patay sa kanya.
Ha! As if!
Kaya I smirked back at him while I got my heavy luggage from the back of his SUV.
Muntik ko na rin mahulog sa bigat. Shiz. Ang bigat nga. Pano ko nakaya 'to kaninang
umaga?
Narinig kong tumawa si Zeo. Without warning, he took my luggage from me. Sabay abot
sa'kin ng bag niya.
I inwardly smiled. He knew me well enough to know na I didn't like feeling useless,
kaya sinabi niyang palit nalang kami ng bubuhatin.
Kinuha ko agad yung inabot niya. Hindi kasing bigat nung akin. Actually, hindi
talaga mabigat. Grabe. Anong laman nito? Bakit ang gaang?
Sabay kaming pumasok sa bahay. Kahit yung loob, ang ganda pa rin. It was grand, but
at the same time very cozy. The place made you want to cuddle with someone.
Oh, my God. Meron silang fireplace! Meron ding mga blankets and cushions sa harap.
Tapos, nakapaligid yung sofas and armchairs around it. Ang cute!
"Ah! What time alis nila Patrick dun?" asked Cass, right after binaba niya yung
maleta niya sa tabi ng sofa. Yup, naka-maleta si Cass.
Cass and I exchanged looks. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko in realization of where she was
getting at. She quickly faced Ryan.
I nodded eagerly. "Later tonight flight nila from Hong Kong e. Sakto uwi niya!"
Oh, my God! Makakasama namin si Kylee! YAAAY! May pag-asa pa 'tong vacation na ito
kung kasama siya! Woohoo!!!
"Sige," agreed Ryan, taking out his phone and texting again.
"Good," said Cass. "Pero please lang, 'wag mong i-expect na magiging friends kami
ng pinsan mong yan ah."
"And she has a huge crush on you, Zeo," said Cass. Her expression suddenly turned
thoughtful. "Kaya siguro yun pupunta . . ."
Cass, Benjo, and I looked at Ryan. Nagbuntong hininga siya when he saw our faces.
"Okay, aaminin ko na," sabi ni Ryan. "Nag-post ako sa IG kanina. Nakita niyang
kasama si Zeo. Sakto din kasi susunod naman talaga si Patrick bukas. Ayun, sumama
na siya. Alam niyo namang 'di ko yun mapipigilan kapag may gusto."
"Is she that bad?" asked Oliver, who was sitting on one of the armchairs. "Grim
yung looks niyo e."
"Let's just say na we came here to have fun, not to listen to her whine."
Tumahimik bigla.
"Gala na nga tayo!" declared Benjo animatedly. "'Wag muna nating isipin kung paano
natin iha-handle si Mika. For now, let's party!"
"Pahinga na rin muna tayo for an hour," dagdag ni Cass, sabay upo sa lap ni Ryan.
"I agree," said Zeo, lounging on the sofa. "I'm dead tired. Chill muna tayo."
"We have all day naman, cuz," I told Benjo, settling myself beside Zeo sa sofa.
Tumango si Ryan. "Seven bedrooms ang meron sa bahay. Isa dito sa ground floor,
which is the master's bedroom. Tatlo sa 2nd floor, tatlo din sa 3rd floor. By twos
tayo; Benjo and Patrik; Zeo and Oliver; Lana and Kylee. May sariling kwarto si Mika
sa 3rd floor. Dun din kwarto namin ni Cass. Kayo nang bahala which room you guys
will take sa 2nd floor."
Nagtinginan kami nina Benjo at Zeo. After a beat, sabay sabay kaming tumakbo
papunta sa main hall, tapos takbo paakyat. Oo, para kaming mga bata kasi nagu-
unahan kami sa kwarto. Pero duh. Ayokong mapunta sa'min yung nakakatakot na itsura.
Since athlete si Zeo. Siya yung nauna sa taas. Nakuha niya yung gitnang kwarto,
with the view of the valley. Shiz! Sayang yun.
Nakita kong nauuna na si Benjo kaya hinila ko yung tuhod niya, causing him to trip.
Carpet naman na yung buong 2nd floor kaya hindi gaanong masakit.
Haha! Loserrr!
Madali ako sa unang kwarto na mapuntahan ko. Pagkakita ko, umalis ako kaagad at
dumiretso sa natitirang kwarto. Katabi nung kwarto nila Zeo.
Ah. This is it. Malaki yung kwarto. May window couch pa. Very nice. Also, maganda
din yung view. Maaliwalas din yung atmosphere. Yung isa kasi, yung village na puro
bahay ang view. Not like this one, merong landscape.
"Don't be a sour loser, cuz," I told him sympathetically. "Loser ka na nga, sour
pa? 'Wag ganun."
Lalong tumawa si Zeo. Slowly but surely, ngumiti na rin si Benjo. He shook his head
in amusement. And as if may naalala siya, ngumiti siyang nangaasar.
"Ayos lang sa'kin," shrugged Benjo. "At least may sarili kaming CR. You guys have
to share yours." With that, sumipol siya at bumababa na para kunin ang gamit niya.
Nagtinginan kami ni Zeo. Dali dali kaming pumasok sa kanya-kanya naming mga kwarto
at pumasok sa CR. Sure enough, connected ang rooms namin through the bathroom.
Oliver suddenly showed up behind Zeo. Halatang sinabi ni Benjo sa kanya yung about
sa connected bathroom and he came here to see it for himself.
"Kitang kita nga sa mukha mo na it's not a big deal," mocked Zeo.
Aba, natural na big deal! Pano kung madumi sila sa banyo? Pano kung makalimutan
kong i-lock? Pano kung makalimutan nilang i-lock? Andaming pumapasok na scenarios
sa isip ko na puno ng kahihiyan.
"Don't worry, Lan," said Oliver. "Magpapaalam muna sayo si Zeo, bago siya
mangboso," he added, laughing.
Napangiti ako, despite myself. It sounds like something Zeo would do nga. But I
quickly changed my smile to a devilish sweet one.
Nahulog ang panga ko sa sinabi niya. He was wearing his confident uber sexy smile
when he said that. Argh. Nakakainis talaga yung smart mouth niya minsan. Anak ng
gulay. Bakit kasi napaka confident niya? Then again, isa yun sa mga charms niya.
Psh.
"Move on from the kiss, Mufasa," I snorted. "You make it sound as if you want
more."
"Hindi ba?"
"Dapat ba?"
"Hindi ba dapat?"
"Bakit dapat?"
Hindi ko namalayan, our faces were only a few inches apart nalang. Neither of one
us was backing down from this argument. I noticed na nahahawa na siya kay Oliver.
Some of their personalities and way of speaking e nagkakahalo-halo na.
We're all different in our own way. Our only similarity is our strong will. Kasama
na dun yung opinionated sides namin. Kaya kapag may pagtatalo kami, walang basta-
bastang nananalo. At kung nagkakahalo-halo na ang mga ugali namin . . . Wow. Never
ending discussion - unless someone stops it.
Zeo and I froze. Dahan dahan kaming lumingon kay Oliver. His fingers were on his
temple, as if sumasakit ang ulo niya sa'min ni Zeo. It was nothing new since parati
naman niyang ginagawa yun tuwing may argument kami.
There was a moment of silence. Binalik ko ang tingin ko kay Zeo. He stared back at
me with a blank expression.
"Okay, fine," I said, giving in. "Buhatin mo yung bag ko, and I'll carry yours."
"Deal."
I made a move to leave, pero may naisip ako bigla. Yung 'issue' naming dalawa, I
want to get it over with. Para hindi na nabubulabog ang isipan ko. Gusto ko nang
maging in peace about it all. Para rin alam ko kung nasaan ba talaga kaming dalawa.
Hindi yung naghuhulaan.
"Let's make another deal," I told him. Tumingin ako sa kanya. Seryoso yung
expression ng mukha niya. No nonsense. Good. "Mag-usap tayo later. I want to talk
to you about something. Until then, walang ilangan between us ah?"
He studied me for a long moment, bago ngumiti siya. A genuine grin.
"True," I agreed.
Kahit anong situation, never kong na-feel ang maging awkward around him. Sobrang
comfortable na kami sa isa't isa e.
He chuckled. "Tara na nga." Sabay umakbay siya sa'kin habang bumababa kami pabalik
sa living room. "Oh, and it's a deal nga pala. Pero . . ."
"Hmm."
Pero ano?
Hindi siya nagsalita pa muna. He leaned his head closer until his lips were
directly by my ear. Kinilabutan ako sa warm breath niya.
Wha - ?
Ano yun?
_____________
Dedicated to my high school friend Kenncy. Dahil sa kanya, merong update ngayon.
She made me promise kasi e. Haha! XD
_____________
Bago pa ako ma-tempt ng tuluyan na halikan siya, I gently pushed him away. Pero
konti lang. At dahil pinush ko nga siya, obligado akong hawakan yung chest niya.
Shiz. Smooth and hard. Perfect combo.
Naka get over na ako ng konti sa shock ko after hearing na he liked me. Now, I
wanted to know why - and how. Pano nangyari yun? Was it because of the list na I
worked hard to follow? Was it 'just because'? And what in the world did he like
about me?
Hindi naman sa dina-doubt ko ang sarili ko. It's just . . . It's just . . . He's an
unreachable. I wanted to know paano niya ako nagustuhan. Parang hindi kapani-
paniwala e.
"Pano ba . . ." Naging thoughtful yung expression niya. "I guess it's because hindi
ikaw yung typical na babae. Yeah, I know. It's cliché. Pero that's the truth e."
"'Di mo ako hinahabol. I even had to ask for your number para lang magka-contact
ako sayo. The weeks before that were torture. It drove me crazy kasi I was waiting
for you, pero ang tibay mo." He chuckled, running a hand through his hair.
"Truth is, you make me want to be committed." He shook his head, as though he
couldn't believe it himself. "It's scary as shit. Pero there it is."
Wait. Nagsi-sink na ba itong mga information sa'kin? I mean, si Zeo Alcante may
gusto sa'kin. Oh, my God. Si Zeo freaking Alcante, may gusto sa'kin! Holy shiz! The
list worked!
My heart was pounding so hard and fast na I didn't think it was normal anymore.
Pero I couldn't help it. This was so surreal. Ganito ba ako kaswerte? 'Wag naman
sanang joke 'to please. Pero Zeo wouldn't joke about something like this.
Then, totoo nga ang lahat? Kaya umiiwas na siyang makipag-flirt sa iba? Pero ano
yung kaninang umaga sa Statique? It took me a moment, but I managed to got the
answer within me. Sinadya niya yun to get a reaction from me. Halata naman e,
actually.
If so, hindi rin siya sure sa nararamdaman ko? Kaya it drives him crazy kasi hindi
siya makasigurado. Lalo na kung umasta ako, hot this minute and cold the next.
Zeo leaned forward and softly claimed my lips. Hindi ito yung kiss na katulad nung
nasa Haut kami. That was sort of innocent and sweet. This time was sweet naman din,
but it was also a little bit more intense.
Before I knew it, napunta na ang mga kamay ko sa leeg at buhok niya while his hand
naman was on my waist and the other was caressing my neck. He turned his head
sideways to make the kiss deeper somehow.
Kissing him sober was probably the best thing I've ever experienced. Grabe yung
sensation. Shucks. Napaka good kisser ni Zeo. Hands down ako.
"I . . ." I panted, as soon as we pulled away for air. I squeezed my eyes shut, at
huminga ng malalim.
This is it. Wala nang balikan kapag sinabi ko sa kanya. Tsaka, I didn't have to act
all lovey-dovey naman porket inamin ko sa kanya yung feelings ko, diba?
"I like you, too," I blurted out, bago pa magbago ang isip ko. Hindi ko siya
tinitignan. Sobrang kahihiyan ito. Natatakot din ako sa reaction niya.
"I know."
Pagkarinig ko nun, tumingala agad ako sa kanya. Zeo was wearing his uber sexy
smile. That confident one na I wanted to wipe off his face right now. Ang yabang
niya. Nakakagigil.
I raised my fist, susuntukin ko na sana siya. Kaso iniwasan ng kumag, tapos he was
able to catch my wrist pa. Bakit ba kasi athlete siya? Anak ng gulay.
Grr. Kaya ayaw kong sabihin sa kanya e. Alam kong malakas mangasar 'tong si Zeo.
Abot langit ang aabutin kong pangaasar nito, no doubt. Badtrip.
Bumuntong hininga siya. Bigla niya akong hinila papalapit sa kanya at niyakap.
Hindi na ako nakagalaw. Nakakahiya mang aminin, satisfied na ako sa position namin.
Ayokong umalis dito sa arms niya.
"Wala nang bawian ah," he chuckled quietly in his deep husky voice.
May mga something na nangfa-flutter sa tiyan ko. Butterflies siguro. Shiz naman.
Kinikilig ako ng bonggang bongga. 'Di ko ma-take ang mga pangyayari.
I smiled, despite myself. Dahan dahan kong ni-return ang hug ni Zeo. Grabe. Parang
gusto kong umiyak sa sobrang saya.
***
Actually, natatakot din akong matulog. Baka kasi pagka-gising ko, panaginip lang
pala ang lahat. Although pinisil ko na ang pisngi ko ng ilang beses para lang
mapatunayan sa sarili ko na real life nga ito.
Bukod pa dun, medyo natatakot din akong mag-isa sa kwarto. Wala pa kasi si Kylee e,
kaya ako lang nasa kwarto namin.
Bumababa ako wearing my red plaid pajamas. Dumeretso ako sa kitchen and made myself
a hot chocolate. Tapos, nag-proceed ako sa living room.
Muntik ko nang mabitawan yung mug na hawak ko when I saw na merong tao na nakaupo
sa isa sa mga cushions near the fireplace.
"Shiz, Ollie," I muttered, clutching my chest with my free hand. "Akala ko kung ano
na." Umupo ako sa lapag at sinandal ang likod ko sa may armchair.
"Ba't gising ka pa?" asked Oliver. Sinarado niya yung librong binabasa niya and he
put it down. Sumandal siya sa kabilang armchair naman.
He nodded. "Same."
Lumingon agad ako kay Oliver. Naramdaman kong nag-init yung cheeks ko. Inalis ko
yung tingin ko kasi hindi ako makatingin ng diretso sa kanya.
Syempre, sinabi ni Zeo kay Oliver. What did I expect? Mas matindi pa mag-gossip ang
mga lalaki kaysa sa mga babae. Kaya nga may Bro Code e. Para hindi halatang tsumi-
tsismis din sila. My gulay.
Inantay kong ipagpatuloy niya ang sasabihin niya pero he didn't say anything more.
Umaasa pa naman akong sasabihin niya kung ano man lang yung reaction ni Zeo after
what happened. Pero I guess loyal si Oliver sa stupid Bro Code na yan.
"Fine, you can say 'I told you so,'" sabi ko regretfully.
Napapikit ako. At talagang sinabi niya nga? Adik talaga 'to. Huminga ako ng malalim
at idinilat ang mga mata ko. Hindi ako makapaniwala sa mga nangyayari. Masaya ako
na Zeo feels the same for me. Pero I guess na hindi parating lahat ay perfect.
"Hindi kami official," I mumbled. Nag-sip ako sa mug pagka-sabi ko nun, while
tinutok ko ang mga mata ko sa flames.
Yup, hindi kami official. Hindi naman niya ako tinanong about being his girlfriend
or anything like that. Sinabi niya lang yung feelings niya, and the fact na he
wanted me. And since alam niyang I felt the same, understood na.
Fudge.
I know. Hindi rin ako makapaniwalang I'm settling for just that. Parang ang cheap
ko tuloy. Nakakainis. Nakaka-disappoint. Pero it's not like pinagusapan namin ng
maige and defined our relationship on the spot. It's not like he said, 'Hey, MU
lang tayo ah?' It doesn't work like that.
It just happened.
And we both understood it. No more explanations needed. Pero that's the thing nga
e. Kaya nakakalusot yung guys kadalasan. Dahil sa walang explanations na yan.
Tapos, kapag dinemand naman nung girl kung ano na ba talaga status nila, pwedeng
lumusot yung lalaki kasi nga they're not official in the first place.
Kaso, there were cases like Zeo who didn't ever commit. Yun ang nakakatakot. If I
fell too hard, ako ang kawawa. If I demanded naman, wala akong makukuha kahit ano.
Baka he'd stay away from me pa. At least if I went with the flow, na-enjoy ko pa
yung ride, diba?
All I needed to do was to have a strong self-discipline; not to fall in love him.
Basically, hanggang infatuation lang pwede. Anything more, a definite no-no.
Thinking about it, I believe I could. I created the list, after all. And yung
overall rule ng list was to have self-control. So even if MU kami, I still had to
follow the list.
And my heart.
"Alam mong may phobia si Zeo sa commitment," he continued. "So just give him some
time. Bago yan sa kanya e."
Inalis ko ang tingin ko kay Oliver. Hindi ko kinakaya ang mga sinabi niya. Pero I
had to trust him, diba? He wouldn't want me to get hurt. At kung sinasabi niya na I
should wait, ibig sabihin may patutunguhan talaga itong 'something' with Zeo.
"Ayokong masaktan, Ollie," I admitted.
Uhhh, okay.
Lumipat ako sa tabi niya. As soon as I got myself comfortable, kinuha niya yung mug
sa kamay ako at nilagay sa lamesa nearby. When he faced me ulit, niyakap niya ako
in a way na sobrang soothing.
He only raised an eyebrow in reply. Wala akong nagawa kundi bumalik sa yakap niya.
He started patting my back, the way Benjo did kapag tinatakbuhan ko siya tuwing
magaaway sina mommy't daddy nung high school.
Huminga ako ng malalim. Nung um-exhale ako, it was a shaky breath. Nagulat ako.
Tapos, my eyes started to sting. Oh, my God. Bakit parang paiyak na nga ako? SHIZ.
Pero kahit ano mang pigil ko, tuloy tuloy pa rin yung pag-tulo ng mga luha ko.
Hindi naman ako humahagulgol. I wasn't making any crying noises din. Basta lumuluha
lang ako, tapos yung mukha ko hindi maipinta. Buti nalang hindi nakikita ni Oliver.
First step kasi yun e. After that, no breaks na. No stopping it anymore. Tuloy
tuloy na yun. Nakasakay na ko for the whole ride. At ayokong sumakay dun. Not now.
Please, not now.
The very thing I prevented myself from doing with guys like Zeo.
Napansin pa nga ni Cass yung happy mood ko nung pinuntahan niya ko dito sa kwarto
kanina e. And of course, she made me spill. Sa totoo lang, akala ko susugurin niya
si Zeo kasi napapayag niya ako na 'di kami official, pero she surprised me when
kinilig siya tapos she agreed with what Oliver said last night.
Yan dapat ang motto ko e. Sobrang applicable to everything that's happening to me,
especially to the part of my life na involved si Zeo.
Nakakatuwa lang din. Thinking about it kasi, I'm his special someone. He's Zeo
effing Alcante. He's the guy na tinitilian ng mga babae kahit san siya magpunta.
He's the guy na sobrang hot pag nasa court kasi yung game face niya 'nakaka-laglag
panty' (sabi nga ni Cass).
Kaya I wouldn't think about the complications. I wouldn't think about my fears. Ie-
enjoy ko nalang yung moment. Sabi nga nila, "Live in the now."
Tok! Tok!
"Ready, Lan?"
Nasa kalagitnaan kami ng stairs when Oliver's phone rang. Tinigan niya yung phone
niya at napatigil siya sa pagbaba. Tumigil din ako.
"Audrey."
Aaminin ko, nag-eavesdrop ako. Nakaka-curious e. Bihirang may tumatawag kay Oliver,
much less a girl. Usually, he was texting. Hmm. Must be an important call.
"I can't. I'm in Baguio . . . Sure . . . Okay, see you then," added Oliver, before
hanging up and continuing to climb down the stairs.
"Wow," sabi ko nalang. Na-shock ako ah. I didn't expect him to say that. I bet
maganda yun. Ganun naman parati e. "Detaaaaails," kulit ko.
Hindi siya sumagot. Pagdating namin sa bottom of the stairs, he faced me. I looked
at him expectantly. Tinitigan niya 'ko. Then, he sighed.
Whuuuuut?
"Mukha nga." I could definitely imagine him being friends with his exes.
Tumango ako. Hanggang sa marinig namin ang boses ni Cass from the living room.
"'Wag nga muna tayo sa Camp John Hay," I heard her say in frustration. "Bukas
nalang tayo dun pag kumpleto na tayo."
Oliver and I exchanged looks tapos we entered the living room. Nakatayo na ang
lahat and ready to leave na, except nagtatalo pa sina Cass at Benjo kung san
pupunta. Na-feel kong tumingin sa'kin si Zeo, pero hindi ko pa muna siya titignan.
Para may thrill.
Naks. Taraaay.
"Wala na naman tayong pwedeng puntahan na just as fun e," reklamo ni Benjo.
'Di ko na mapigilan sarili ko. I glanced at Zeo. He was still staring. When our
eyes met, hindi ko alam kung bakit pero automatic na nagngitian kami. Yung ngiti na
parang may secret kaming dalawa? Yung ngiti na parang shy na kinikilig? Yung ngiti
na parang mga high school kids lang kami na nagpapasahan ng love notes?
Ang CHEESY! 'Di naman ako usually ganito. Actually, hindi kami usually ganito.
Parang ang weird na ewan. Ugh. 'Di ako sanay.
Heehee.
Oliver shook his head in amusement and followed them out of the house.
Oh, my God. Kaming dalawa ni Zeo ang natira. Pano ba to?! Nakalimutan ko nang
maging casual! Pano ba ulit maging casual? Shucks! Sabaw ang utak ko.
Sabay kaming lumabas ng bahay. He locked the door and sinundan namin ang iba sa SUV
ni Zeo. Isang sasakyan lang ang gagamitin namin, of course. Hassle pang maghanap ng
parking space pag dalawa yung dinala namin, e kasyang kasya naman kami sa iisang
vehicle.
Bakit niya tinatanong yun? Oh, my God. Sinabi ba ni Oliver yung quality time namin
last night sa fireplace? Pero that's doubtful. 'Di naman ako ilalaglag ni Oliver ng
ganun. If so, bakit siya ganyan kung makatanong?
Wait nga. Kalma, Lana. Tinanong ka lang niya kung kamusta tulog mo, kung ano ano na
iniisip mo. 'Wag ka ngang OA.
Fudge. What's happening to me? Hindi naman ako ganito ka-paranoid dati. Goodness
gracious. I need to chill out.
Rule #12: Don't overthink. Madalas, napaka-simple lang naman ng intention nung guy
pero nilalagyan na natin ng mabigat na meaning. Madalas kasi, literal ang mga
lalaki. Natataon, walang meaning behind their words or their actions. Sinasabi or
ginagawa lang nila yun just because. Syempre, may mga exceptions (lalo na pag girly
yung attitude nung lalaki or yung mga lalaking may agenda). You NEED to know the
difference between a guy with an intent or a guy who's naturally nice.
For all I know, may sexual innuendo 'tong binabalak para mang-asar lang.
Holy shiz! Sabi na e! I totally saw it coming! Kilala ko na ata 'tong kumag na 'to.
Ha! Akala niya ah. Maasar nga rin.
I flashed him my sweet smile. "Mi hindi nga tumayo e." Pinigilan ko ng sobra yung
sarili ko na tumawa.
Zeo, on the other hand, didn't restrain himself. He laughed his ass off at what I
said. Kaya iniwan ko siya at sumakay na ng sasakyan. Tumabi ako kay Cass, sa
pinaka-likod naman sina Benjo at Ryan. Not long after, Zeo climbed inside. He was
still grinning while he revved the engine.
"Found my equal, bro," nakangiting sagot ni Zeo, sabay sulyap sa rearview mirror
kung saan nagkatinginan ang mga mata namin saglit before he focused on the road
again.
Okay, kinilig ako dun. Duh. Obvious naman na ako yun. Nakakatuwang marinig yun, sa
totoo lang. Kasi at least 'di inferior yung tingin niya sa'kin, diba?
_____________
So imagine the faces of young teens and young adults that recognized him. Syempre,
maraming lumilingon at tumititig. Wala pa namang nagpapa-picture. Pero to be
honest, hindi ko ine-expect na aabot ng Baguio yung kasikatan niya. Buti nalang
hindi kasing grabe kapag nasa Manila kami.
We ate at Army Navy, SM Baguio. Sa labas kami para feel namin yung breeze pati yung
view of the city. It was incredible. Ang sarap sa feeling to be away on a vacation.
It felt nice to be problem-free, just enjoying the moment - the unfamiliar place.
My eyes wandered to Zeo na nasa tabi ko. I watched him eat for a moment, frowning
sa way ng pagkain niya nung burger and fries.
"Mas masarap kung kakagat ka muna sa burger, sabay subo ng fries," I told him.
"Oo nga," sabi ko truthfully. I grabbed my burger, took a bite, tapos kumuha ako ng
fries at sinubo sa bibig ko while meron pang burger. Napapikit ako sa sobrang
sarap.
Rule #13: Have a healthy appetite. Hindi ito naga-apply sa lahat ng lalaki, pero
impressed sila sa mga babaeng malakas kumain and at the same time can carry
themselves. They appreciate a girl who can appreciate good food. Of course,
kailangan pa rin mag-diet ng mga hindi mabibilis ang metabolism. Diskartehan mo
nalang, girl.
Natigilan ako for a moment. Nung nag-sink in na yung sinabi niya, I made a face.
Oh, my God! Mas naging manyak na siya ngayon! Kung dati, medyo discreet pa siya,
ngayon lantaran na. Sheesh.
"Ang horny mo!" I hissed, looking around the table kung may nakarinig. Buti nalang
at maingay si Benjo na nagku-kwento.
"You ba, hindi?" asar niya, flashing me his uber sexy smile.
Napanganga ako ng bongga bongga na abot sa paanan ng bundok. Mahina lang yung
pagkakasabi ni Zeo pero holy mother of shizness! Bakit siya ganyan?
So ginawa ko ang bagay na na-feel kong gawin sa moment na yun. I mustered all my
strength papunta sa paa ko at inapakan yung paa niya. He yelped, nabitawan niya
yung burger niya at napa-lean forward siya. Heads turned to his direction.
"Yan kasi e," tawa ni Benjo. "You ordered two burgers pa ah."
Inangat ni Zeo yung ulo niya. Mukhang lumipas na yung sakit sa paa niya from my
apak kasi he grinned at everyone.
"Nah, I'm good," he assured us. "Simba's just making excuses kasi she wants to
steal my fries. So takaw."
"So pakipot."
"So presko."
"So pikon."
"So -"
"Stop! So conyo! My ears!" cried Cass, covering her ears with her hands.
Nagtawanan kami.
I saw a potentially never-ending match between them. Kaya before they could start,
I quickly said, "Tapusin na natin agad yung kinakain natin so we could go na."
And we did.
Pero of course, hindi papayag si Zeo na hindi siya ang last say. He leaned forward
para may ibulong sa tainga ko. With a deep husky voice, he whispered, "So mine."
Nako. It took ALL my will power to prevent myself from smiling. Kaso may nag-slip
pa rin na sobrang liit na ngiti. Nakakainis. Nakakakilig. Badtrip siya.
. . .
After eating, dumiretso na kami sa Burnham Park. 'Di ganon kadami yung mga tao kasi
school day pa rin naman. Kaya nakapag-chill lang kami around.
We rode a boat. We ate dirty ice cream. We rode a bike. All the while, we were
having the time of our lives. Seryoso, ang saya.
May napansin din ako. Yung kamay ni Zeo, parating nakahawak sakin whenever he gets
the chance - whether sa kamay, sa tuhod, sa balikat, o sa elbow. Don't get me
wrong, he's still the same Zeo. He's still the same ubod ng confidence na kumag.
Mas ma-touch nga lang siya ngayon. And if I'm not mistaken, mas . . . showy?
Then again, that's sort of what we are, diba? Yun nga lang, wala kaming labels. Not
official, but definitely acting like one.
Since hindi bobo yung mga kaibigan namin, na-gets nila agad what was going on. At
least, na-gets ni Ryan at Benjo kasi alam naman na ni Oliver at Cass e.
Nakaupo kami sa isa sa mga picnic tables sa park, when Benjo let out this big sigh.
All eyes landed on him. His eyes were trained on Zeo alone. Tapos, he shook his
head.
Zeo considered and nodded. "True." He looked at me, before flashing me his uber
sexy smile of his that I adored so much. He didn't say anything. Nakatingin lang
siya sa'kin.
Shiz naman oh. Nakakapanghina yung titig niya. Hindi ko naman maalis yung tingin
ko. Parang kasi may magnet na nagho-hold sa'kin dun.
"Oo nga," agreed Benjo. "Please for the love of all that's holy, don't eye-fuck
each other sa harap namin."
At that, inalis ko na yung tingin ko kay Zeo. He was still gazing at me, though.
Pero pinigilan ko na yung sarili ko na lumingon sa kanya.
"Where to next?" I asked the others casually.
Cass gave me a look that said, "Mm-hmm." But I just rolled my eyes at her. Sigurado
akong I will never hear the end ng pangaasar niya.
At dahil sa wala naman kaming alam na pwedeng pang puntahan, pumunta kami sa Grotto
na sinasabi ni Ryan. Aakyat kami ng hundred or more steps ata tapos magaalay kami
ng flower dun sa shrine sa taas.
Pagdating namin dun, nag-backout yung mga lalaki. Kakain nalang daw sila ng toron.
Keri lang, kaming dalawa nalang ni Cass ang umakyat. Bumili na rin kami ng mga
kandila kasama nung mga flowers.
Girls being girls, pinagusapan namin yung mga boys habang paakyat kami.
"Si Ryan, babe!" shrieked Cass na todo ang kilig. "Mukhang pinaghandaan niya talaga
'tong bakasyon na 'to. Grabe yung mga ginawa namin kagabi, sobra. I'm weak in the
knees! Lalo na nung -"
"TMI!" sabi ko agad sa kanya before she could say anything else.
She laughed. "Sensya naman. 'Di ko nasabi sayo kanina kasi masyado 'kong na-windang
sa nangyari sa inyo ni Zeo kagabi."
Bago pa ako mawala sa wisyo, binalik ko ang usapan sa kanila ni Ryan. Syempre,
medyo censored na yung pagkwento niya. Nakakatuwa talaga kiligin si Cass. Nanggigil
kasi siya e.
When we got at the top, we paid our respects and prayed. After doing that, nag
strawberry-flavored taho kami sa may baba ng Grotto. Tsaka ulit kami nagkwentuhan.
I looked away from her. May hiya din naman ako. Aminado akong nakakahiya yung
kanina. Pero 'di ko kasi mapigilan sarili ko e. There was this thing pulling me
towards him.
"Tell me about it," I sighed. Tumingin ako sa kanya. "Pero 'lam mo, I'm happy."
Nakaupo lang kami sa tabi nung mga nagtitinda ng taho, letting the peace engulf us.
Pinanuod lang namin yung mga tao with their business. Until may group of guys na
lumapit para bumili ng taho. They looked about our age. Mukhang mga turista din.
I caught some of them eye me and Cass. Obvious naman na nagandahan sila sa'ming
dalawa, pero we played it cool as if wala kaming napapansin.
She raised an eyebrow. "Aba, kasalanan nila. 'Di sila umakyat e."
"Uh, hi."
At the same time, lumingon kami ni Cass sa nagsalita. Tapos na yung group na um-
order ng taho. Now they were all looking at us. Yung naglakas loob na magsalita ang
pinaka malapit sa'min. In fairness, may itsura siya.
"I'm Matrix," pakilala niya, reaching out his hand for a handshake.
Tinanggap ko nalang, kesa naman mapahiya siya. Kawawa naman. Hindi kaya madaling
lumapit sa'min ni Cass. Lalo na't mukha kaming mataray. Kaya nakakabilib din yung
mga naglalakas loob.
Cass scoffed, halatang nagpipigil ng tawa. I gave her a look, which she returned as
if innocently saying, "What?"
Nginitian ko ulit si Matrix, but I didn't tell him my name. Pagkakuha ko ng kamay
ko, lumingon siya sa friends niya then turned back to me.
My lips twitched, daring to release a laugh. Pero pinigilan ko sarili ko. That
would be rude kasi e. Although, we barely knew them. Still.
Fortunately, one of Matrix's friends came to his rescue. Isang matangkad na lalaki.
The first thing that came to my mind was baka basketball player siya. If not, basta
athlete.
Englishero.
I took another look at their group. Tsaka ko lang na-realize na hindi sila mukhang
mga basta basta lang. I'd bet my Louis Vuitton suitcase na mga rich kid ito.
I glanced briefly at Cass. She was studying them. It seemed like na-realize din
niya yung nasa isip ko. Pero I noticed na naging rigid siya. Nakatitig siya
intently dun sa matangkad.
"Ox?" I repeated to the tall guy. Not that I was interested. Curious lang ako sa
name.
"It's a club near Kennon Road," sagot niya with ease. It was like, he was talking
to an acquaintance rather than a total stranger. 'Di tulad ni Matrix na medyo
uneasy pa.
I nodded.
Hinila na siya nung tall dude before pa siya makapagsalita ulit. Their group left
na rin sa wakas. When they were out of sight, nagtinginan kami ni Cass.
I frowned. "Who?"
"Yung matangkad."
I blinked. "Oh."
"Yeah, 'oh.'"
Wow. Grabe naman yung liit ng mundo. Sa dinami-dami ng pwede nilang puntahan,
Baguio din? What are you playing at, Tadhana?
Alam ko na kakapanuod ko lang ng championships last week, pero naka-focus kasi ako
kay Zeo kaya hindi ko na napansin yung ibang players. Ang hot kaya ng game face
niya, sinong hindi mapapatitig?
"Si Matrix, rookie nila," sabi ni Cass. "'Di ko man lang namukhaan nung una."
"Nasanay na e."
While we were laughing at our inside joke, nag-vibrate yung phone ko. I took it out
and saw Zeo calling. Nakita rin ni Cass.
But I did tell him. I tell him and Oliver everything. Kaya pagbalik namin sa bahay
na tinutuluyan namin, kinuwento ko sa kanila. Cass joined me sa pagkwento in the
end, kahit na siya yung nagsabi na 'wag daw ipaalam.
Wala namang kaso yun e. I mean, hindi naman war freak si Zeo. In fact, he looked
smug all throughout dinner. Hindi nga lang ako sure kung bakit. Kukulitin ko sana
siya kaso dumating na sina Kylee!
Syempre, nagtakbuhan kaming dalawa ni Cass palabas ng bahay para salubungin sila.
Si Kylee naman, agad bumababa ng sasakyan. She ran to us. Mukha kaming mga shunga
sa kakatalon pero wala kaming pakialam. Excited kami e, bakit ba?
Cass rolled her eyes, smiling. "We were just on the phone not two hours ago."
Tumingin kaming tatlo kay Kylee. Hindi siya nagsalita. She only nodded, tapos
ngumiti na parang kinikilig. Cass and I exchanged glances.
I bit my lip. Nako, patay. Yung ex-girlfriend slash first love ni Oliver kakabalik
lang from abroad. Hindi ako sure where, pero yun yung sabi.
Habang tinutulungan ni Oliver si Kylee sa mga gamit niya, bumaba na si Mika. Yup,
ngayon lang siya bumaba. With her look, it was obvious na nag-ayos muna talaga siya
bago siya bumaba ng sasakyan. Ever perfect yung bangs niya, while the rest of her
long hair ay kulot. Digital-perm, no doubt. Korean-style yung porma niya, which I
had to admit was cute - huwag lang siyang magsalita, okay na.
Dumaan sa harap namin si Patrick. He greeted us on the way, and we nodded in turn.
Ryan naman gave us the look that said, "Behave."
Palapit sa'min si Mika when she suddenly halted. Nakatingin siya sa malayo. It was
like she was seeing her biggest treat. Which, na-gets ko naman agad. I looked over
my shoulder and saw na tama ako. Nandun nga si Zeo sa may doorway.
"Shems," whispered Mika, while staring at Zeo like an awe-struck fan girl.
Naisip ko tuloy, buti nalang hindi ako ganyan. It was really a good thing na I knew
how to hide my kilig to the max moments with a straight face. Of course, may
konting slips. Pero bihira lang yun. Ewan ko. Parang nakakawala lang ng digninad.
I felt Cass's hand on my arm. Mahigpit yung hawak niya, causing me to look at her.
She was preventing herself to laugh out loud.
Then, boom! Biglang nawala yung spell at dali dali si Mika na pumunta kay Zeo.
He greeted her with his infamous grin na lalo namang ikinatuwa ni Mika. Ang weird.
Seeing her so bubbly like that . . . Hindi ako sanay. At mukhang hindi rin sanay
sina Kylee and Cass kasi they were also staring. Baka nagbago na siya?
"Lan, let your friend eat muna inside," Oliver told me, referring to Kylee.
Tinawanan namin ni Cass si Kylee habang papunta kami sa front door, kung nasaan
sina Zeo at Mika. Bakit hindi sila pumasok? Parang mga timang lang.
Hindi naman sa nagseselos ako. I know naman na he was just being friendly. Kaya
hahayaan ko silang mag-bonding. Gusto nila yan e.
Again, hindi ako nagseselos. Hello? Si Mika, pagseselosan ko? Yeah, right.
Dahil nakaharang si Zeo sa doorway, naunang pumasok sina Cass at Kylee kasunod ako.
But when I was about to enter the threshold, naramdaman ko bigla na may kamay sa
waist ko. I stopped and looked down. Kamay ni Zeo. I raised my head and turned to
him.
"Saan ka pupunta?"
Lumingon ako saglit kay Mika na pinandidilatan na ako. Took her long enough to show
her true colors. I returned my eyes to Zeo who was still waiting for my answer.
He smirked. Hindi man lang tinablan ang kumag. Then again, when ba siya tinablan ng
comebacks ko sa kanya?
"Wanna go out tonight, Simba?" he asked with an odd expression on his face.
Holy shiz. Nagpapa-cute siya. Hindi na niya kailangan magpa-cute kasi ubod na siya
ng gwapo. But because he was doing that expression, he looked so adorable! Shucks.
Nasisilaw ako sa sobrang pagka-endearing ng itsura niya.
"Just us?" I asked, glancing at Mika ulit and saw na nakasimangot na siya sa'kin.
Mukhang nare-realize na niya na may something kami ng crush niya. For a moment, I
actually felt sorry for her. Only for a moment.
Tumingin ako sa kanya. He had that twinkle in his eyes, like he couldn't wait for
me to agree and get the hell out of here.
Oo nga naman.
I stared at him. He stared back. Gusto kong paalisin si Mika kasi I felt like she
was watching an intimate thing between me and Zeo. Pero biglang inalis ni Zeo yung
tingin niya sa'kin and looked at Mika.
"You go ahead and eat, Mika," he told her. "Ikaw rin, 'di ka makakasama sa'min
later."
Mika might've missed it, pero I could clearly detect his tone. Yung tono niya
parang ang kausap niya ay little girl instead of a seventeen-year-old. She fell for
it, though. She nodded wildly and left agad to go to the kitchen.
Zeo, on the other hand, grabbed my waist and pulled me towards him. Sumandal siya
sa doorway, positioning me between his legs. I placed both of my hands sa chest
niya para mas comfortable. This felt nice. Even more, this felt natural.
"Don't act as if ayaw mong i-parade ako as your date," biro niya.
As soon as I asked it, I regretted it. Alam ko na ang isasagot niya. One hundred
percent sure ako. And as I have predicted in my mind, his boyish grin turned smug.
Without a warning whatsoever, he leaned closer and kissed me full on the lips.
I froze, caught off guard. Shucks. Ang lambot talaga ng lips niya. Before I could
recover, he pulled away already. I could feel his warm breath on my cheeks. His
brown eyes looked fervent as he looked into mine.
Pano ba naman ako makakasagot e high pa 'ko sa ginawa niya. Kahit na ilang segundo
lang yun, it was still intoxicating. Addicting, even.
"I'm guessing that's your way of saying you want more," he chuckled, holding my
hand na nasa cheeks niya. "Just ask, Simba."
I looked away, kasi naramdaman kong nag-init yung cheeks ko. Sobrang nakakahiya
kaya umamin ng ganun. Lalo na't babae ako. Duh.
"Alis na nga tayo," I declared. Hindi ko ma-take yung heat ng tingin niya e. "You
want to go out, diba?" I made a move na kumalas sa grasp niya pero he held me
there.
Huminga ako ng malalim. Oh, my goodness gracious. Bakit ba kasi ang hot niya? Bakit
ba kasi nakakapanghina yung boses at kilos niya? And to think, first day palang
namin as . . . whatever we are. Parang hindi ko yata kakayanin kapag tumagal 'to.
_____________
Bitin ba? LOL. I was looking through my music library, naghahanap ng maibabay dito
sa chapter na to, when I saw Fearless by Taylor Swift. I listened to it, tapos I
realized that it was PERFECT for this chapter. Yay! \(^_^)/
Turned out, hindi naman pala ganun ka-hopeless yung mga Manila boys. They ate
street food din pala. Medyo na-guilty nga ako e. I was stereo-typing them, even
after knowing them for quite a while now. They looked like they enjoyed the food,
too.
After nun, umuwi na rin kami. We were done for the night.
The next day, nagising ako na sobrang gutom - at nilalamig. I looked at Kylee's
figure beside me on the bed. Tulog na tulog pa. Her mouth was open and she was
slightly snoring. I giggled. Kinuha ko agad yung phone ko and took a picture. Hehe.
After laughing to myself, I got up and took a hot shower. Nagmamadali na rin ako sa
sobrang gutom. Alam mo yung feeling na nagising ka nalang na kumukulo yung tiyan
mo?
Well, that's what I'm feeling right now. So I hurried in getting dressed. Simple
knitted sweater, skinny jeans, and my favorite kicks. That would do for today.
Bumababa ako and went straight to the kitchen. I opened the fridge, looking for
something to wolf down. I grabbed the carton of milk, along with a couple of eggs.
What the?
Muntik ko nang mabitawan yung mga hawak ko. I turned around and saw (who else?)
Mika. Naka blow dry na yung buhok niya into perfection.
"Uh, seryoso ka?" I asked, kasi she has got to be kidding me. Ano 'to, teleserye?
Wake up, girl. This is real life.
I snorted. "Mukha kang joke," I muttered, placing the milk carton and eggs on the
counter. Baka bigla niya akong sunggaban e. Mahirap na. Ayokong masayang yung
pagkain.
Hindi maipinta yung facial expression ni Mika. For a moment, naisip ko na baka
umiyak siya at tumakbo kay Ryan. But she should know better. Her cousin didn't get
involve in girl fights, especially hers.
"'Wag mo 'kong hamunin, Lana," she warned, taking a step towards me.
Duh. Mas matangkad naman ako sa kanya. Naka-heels na siya sa lagay na yan ah. As if
I'd be intimidated by her.
"Ito na yung chance ko na mapa in love si Zeo sa'kin," said Mika, parang may hint
of plead yung tono ng boses niya. "Don't be in my way."
Sa totoo lang, I almost felt sorry for her. I knew how it felt like to admire a
person from afar - to want that person to at least notice you, know you exist.
Almost. Natalo yung feeling of pity ko sa kanya with a feeling of hunger from my
stomach. Nagugutom na talaga 'ko.
I yawned genuinely. "Tapos ka na? Gusto ko nang kumain," I told her, getting a
glass from the cabinet.
Nagsalin ako ng milk sa glass. Hindi ko muna sinagot si Mika. I took a drink,
savored the moment, and made a satisfied sound. Sarap. Tapos, tumingin ako sa kanya
with an indifferent expression.
She faltered.
Hindi siya nagsalita. She only looked dumbstruck. Tama lang yan. I'm giving her my
coldest, bitchiest look ngayon.
But then, I realized na nauubos lang ang energy ko sa kanya. Hindi worth it. So I
let it go. I just looked at her in a bored expression.
"Look," I sighed. "If you wanna seduce Zeo and make a fool of yourself, fine by me.
'Di naman ako yung mapapahiya. And honestly, I don't care." I really don't. Alam ko
namang hindi interesado sa kanya si Zeo e. Confident? Yes, I am. "Kaya please lang,
umalis ka na and let me eat in peace. Panira ka ng appetite e."
Tinitigan niya ako ng matagal. Pero she took my advice in the end. She left the
kitchen. Buti naman. Nakaka-stress siya. My gulay.
Nagluto na ako ng French Toast. Yun ang favorite breakfast ko kapag nasa malamig
ako na lugar. In a matter of minutes, kumakain na ako sa dining table. Mukhang ako
yung early bird. Tulog pa silang lahat e, pwera kay Mika.
Cass and Kylee entered. Nakita nila yung expression ng mukha ko. In an instant,
they knew. Medyo naiinis pa kasi ako ng konti sa little incident kanina sa kitchen.
Ne-delay ang pagkain ko e. Edi sana kanina pa ako busog. Sumasakit tuloy tiyan ko
ngayon.
I rolled my eyes. Nilunok ko muna yung iniinom kong gatas bago ako tumingin sa
kanila ulit. "Masyado siyang nanunuod ng mga teleserye, naga-astang kontrabida."
"Bakit kasi madaming nagkakagusto dun?" I complained. Ayan tuloy, nadadamay pa ako.
Psh. Nung makita kong sasagot sina Cass at Kyle, I added quickly, "Don't answer
that."
"Ay, grabe, noh?" sabi ni Kylee, making a face. "Bakit kaya siya ganun? Nakakaawa
siya pero hindi ko siya maintindihan. Tapos ayaw pa niyang kumain ng kwek-kwek. E
parati naman natin siyang nakikita na kumakain nun sa tapat ng school natin."
"That's where mali siya," I said. "Dapat hindi niya pinapaalam na nagpapa-impress
siya. She should always keep her cool, para hindi halata. Kaso lovestruck siya.
Ayan."
And we went on talking about the rules - my infamous List. After a while, kumain na
rin sila. Nagluto si Cass ng maraming bacon, ham, and hotdogs. Breakfast foods
talaga. In no time, they were eating with me.
Lumingon kaming tatlo sa bagong dating. He was wearing a gray long-sleeves with a
silver necklace around his neck. He held a leather jacket on one hand, looking all
neat and fresh. He looked like a bad boy, pero when you look closely sa face niya,
akala mo walang gagawing masama.
Lahat kami napatitig sa kanya. Minsan, yung effect ng chinito na 'to hindi mo ine-
expect. Parang - Boom! Titig! Maglaway! Deads.
It made me wonder why I didn't fall for him. Mas type ko naman siya kaysa kay Zeo.
We had more common interests pa. Ehem, hindi siya pervert.
Rule #14: Know the difference between friendship and romance. Sabi nga sa One Tree
Hill, "Sometimes, romance confuses friendship." That quote couldn't be more true.
Akala mo gusto mo na, nag-effort ka pa and everything, tapos hindi pala. Dapat alam
mo difference kasi nakakasira ng friendship yun. So here's what you do: Pumikit ka,
tapos imagine yourself with the guy doing sweet things (holding hands, kissing,
etc). Kapag kinilig ka, may feelings ka for him. Kapag kinilabutan or nandiri ka,
friend lang ang tingin mo sa kanya.
Kaso hindi ko ma-imagine na ginagawa namin yung landian namin ni Zeo. Parang
kinikilabutan ako. Ugh. Nope. Friends lang talaga. Phew. Holy shiz. Buti nalang. My
friendship with him was too precious for love to be involved in.
"Baka may girl talk kayo e," he replied, pouring himself a glass of water.
My eyes turned to slits. I knew he was talking about the stupid 'Bro Code'. Alam
niya kasing hindi ako masyadong natutuwa on the said code.
Nanlaki ang mga mata namin ni Kylee kay Cass, while Oliver almost spluttered his
drink in surprise. I briefly patted him on the back, shooting a look at Cass. Alam
naman niyang hindi bakla si Oliver. Sinabi ko na yun sa kanila.
He glanced at me, halatang nagtatanong what was up. I shrugged, loss for words.
Hindi ko din alam e. He turned to Cass and gave her a small smile.
Cass studied him ng matagal. Tapos, she nodded and let it go.
May awkward silence na pumapalibot samin, kaya I changed the topic to where kami
pupunta after everyone got ready. Napag-desisyonan kahapon na sa Camp John Hay
kami. Lahat kami excited about that.
We all went to Camp John Hay. Pasyal pasyal, tapos dun kami kumain ng lunch. We
strolled around after ulit. We took pictures - a lot. Then, nag-horseback riding
kami for an hour. Pumunta din kami dun sa may creepy display house.
Hanggang sa may nakita kaming Paintball games. Of course, naglaro kami. Matitiis ba
namin na hindi maglaro, lalo na't nagpunta kami dito to have fun? Excited kaming
lahat. We were all grinning as we listened to the instructor.
Uneven yung division ng groups, but that didn't stop us. Nag-complain pa nga si Zeo
kasi ayaw niya sa 'Blue team'. Ang arte ng kumag. Sorry siya kasi walang kulay
green na team, panigurado dun yun pupunta if ever.
Red team: Zeo, Cass, Ryan, and Mika (much to her delight).
Seemed fair enough, considering na nasa amin si Kylee. Alam naman naming lahat na
hindi siya violent. Namamalo lang siya kapag sobra yung kilig niya.
Medyo badtrip nga lang si Cass kasi nasa kanila si Mika. Competitive naman si Mika.
She always wanted to win kaya Cass shouldn't be worried. The problem was, ayaw lang
talaga niya kay Mika.
Nag one-on-one pa nga sina Zeo at Oliver e. Sila nalang kasi yung mga natira sa
field. Well, yun ang akala nila. Nakalimutan nila si Kylee na nagtatago lang all
throughout the game.
Oo, nakakakilig. Hello? Parati ka ba namang tignan ng gusto mong tao e, sinong
hindi kikiligin? Pero mixed feelings ako about that. Nakakatuwa na nakakailang.
Syempre, kailangan kasi parati akong cute. At hindi ganun kadali yun. Kaya iniisip
ko nalang kunwari hindi siya nakatingin sa'kin. Mind you, it was probably the
hardest thing I'd ever done.
When night came, nag-chill nalang kami. Sobrang nakakapagod yung paintball. Worth
it naman yung sakit ng tuhod ko kaya keri lang.
Lahat kami nakatambay sa malaking living room, surrounding the fireplace and
watching American Pie. Chill lang talaga, which was nice after the eventful day we
had.
My eyes wandered to Cass, who was sitting on Ryan's lap. She rolled her eyes, but
she didn't say anything as she continued to watch the movie. Obviously, kunwari
wala siyang narinig. Si Kylee naman, uminom lang ng hot choco niya na parang wala
siyang narinig. But her eyes shifted around us, waiting for someone to speak.
Patrick sighed, while Ryan looked at Mika with a tired expression.
"'Di ka ba pagod?"
"Magyayaya ba 'ko kung pagod ako?" Mika told Ryan in that annoying child-like
voice. Her eyes landed on Benjo, the known party boy. "Tara, Benjo. Masaya yun."
With his eyes locked on the screen, he said, "Nah. Sakit ng katawan ko. 'Di ako
makaka-party tonight." He glanced at her. "Sorry, Mika."
She pouted, and then went for Zeo. He made the same excuse. Hindi na nakakagulat na
hindi niya kami niyayaya nina Cass at Kylee. It was as though she was pretending we
weren't in the room. She was like that all day. We were more than happy to return
the favor.
Kaso she didn't stop. Tuloy tuloy yung reklamo niya. Pinipilit pa rin niya kami -
or silang boys. Tapos, she started going for the paawa effect. Hindi raw siya
nakakapunta sa mga ganun. She even went beside Zeo, with her hand on his arm,
trying to convince him.
"Ang ingay," mumbled Oliver, standing up and quietly leaving the room.
Ooh. Umiral ang pagka-mataray niyang nilalang. Snob siya sa mga ayaw niyang tao, or
dun sa mga naiirita siya.
Nakatingin din si Zeo at the direction where Oliver went out of sight. We exchanged
glances. Nasira yung eye contact namin nung niyugyog siya ni Mika.
At dahil ayaw kong marinig at makita ang whines ng bratella na yun, tumayo ako at
sinundan si Oliver. I caught up with him easily.
Nandito lang kaming tatlo, peaceful like old times. Even without speaking, I felt
like we were conversing through our breathing. I know, weird. Pero I guess that's
our connection.
We couldn't see it, but we could feel it. Naks. A Walk To Remember lang ang peg.
Pero hindi nga. I missed our little trio bonding moments. Shucks. Na-guilty tuloy
ako. Masyadong na-fill yung utak ko ng puro 'Zeo. Zeo. Zeo.' Shiz. That wasn't
good. I didn't want to be one of those girls who centers their world around a guy.
Tuwing magkakasama kami, no third wheel, I promised myself. Just like old times.
The only difference now is Zeo and I have a thing.
"So, Ollie," started Zeo, looking over to Oliver. "Who's this Audrey?"
"She's my ex," simpleng sagot ni Oliver. Ever the man of few words.
"Special child?"
Tinignan namin ni Oliver si Zeo, giving him a 'what the hell' look.
Tumawa si Oliver, while Zeo only smirked. As usual, hindi natatamaan ang kumag ng
mga banat ko. Walanjo. Ang tibay talaga.
"Mutual decision yun," he answered, anyway. "We both knew na it'd be better for us
to go back to being friends."
Tapos bumalik yung girl and she suddenly wanted to meet up with her first love.
Wow. Parang movie lang. Ano kayang ending?
"I can't imagine breaking up with someone," murmured Zeo, looking at a distance.
"Which you've done countless of times," I added. Sana hindi ako mapabilang dun sa
mga broken-hearted.
Ouch. Reality's slapping me in the face. Anak ng tokwa naman oh. Ang saya saya na
e. Kailangan pa bang ipaalala sa'kin na hindi kami official ni Zeo? You're so mean,
Tadhana.
"That's different," countered Zeo, frowning a little. When his eyes turned to me,
the frown slowly disappeared. "Wala akong feelings for them."
Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. Parang may double meaning e. Parang sinasabi niya na
wala siyang feelings para dun sa mga past flings niya, pero this time meron.
With me, meron.
Napatingin ako ulit kay Oliver. He was wearing that damn meaningful smile of his.
It looked like it was back.
"Look who's talking," said Zeo. "Ikaw kaya ang always busy."
"Whoa, teka lang," banat ni Oliver. "Both of you are the ones na parating busy. I'm
always free. Except at night, syempre."
Zeo grimaced. "Ew, bro! Too much information! I don't want to hear you admit that
you jack off at night."
Ack! Yung image! Yung image! 'Di maalis sa isip ko! Holy shiz! Oliver, with the
face close to his climax . . . Parang ang hot . . . OH, MY GOD. BAKIT KO NAISIP
YUN?! NO! YUCK! ERASE!
Inalis ko agad yung tingin ko sa kanya. Shiiiiiiiz. I couldn't look him in the eye
without that image popping in my head. Badtrip naman kasi si Zeo e!
Iniwas ko yung tingin ko sa kanila. I focused my eyes on the city lights below us.
Gusto kong pumikit, kaso mas magiging malinaw yung image. Ugh.
This shouldn't be a big deal. I mean, I was used to my male cousins talking about
masturbation. Nakikitawa pa nga ako sa kanila e. Kaso kasi . . . si Oliver 'to.
Parang ang weird lang kasi I always pictured him as well composed. Tapos na-imagine
ko yung itsura niya pag . . . alam mo na? Tapos naisip ko na ang hot? What the
hell?
"Tumatae si Ollie."
I blinked.
Slowly, as the words sunk in, my face morphed into an expression of disgust.
Tinignan ko yung dalawa. Hindi maipinta yung mukha ko, for sure.
Just like that, the disturbing image was replaced by an even more disturbing one.
They clearly saw right through me. Buti nalang sinabi yun ni Zeo. Kahit na sobrang
nakakadiri.
"What?"
"Huh?"
"Aray naman!"
"'Wag ka na uli magiisip like that, ha?" pa-joke na sinabi ni Zeo na may halong
gigil, without letting go of my nose. Yung gigil na ginagawa mo when you find
something so cute? Pero may halong warning yung sa kanya e.
"It was a joke," he defended. "'Di ko naman alam na you'd take it seriously."
Wow. I've never seen Zeo look so frustrated. Usually, napaka-carefree niya. It's
strange seeing him this way. This must be really bothering him. Kung ganun, edi . .
.
"You know what's not fair?" he continued. "I've never seen you jealous."
Zeo flashed his uber sexy smile. "It worked, didn't it?"
Inirapan ko siya, making him laugh harder. Sakto, bumalik na si Oliver. Natahimik
kami ni Zeo sa expression niya. He looked thoughtful as he leaned against the
railing.
. . .
Gusto ko siyang yakapin. Hindi ko alam pano ko sasabihin sa kanya yung tungkol kay
Audrey. Alam ko namang crush lang yun. Pero I was rooting for them to be together,
kahit na medyo malabo. Ayan, ngayon tuloy sobrang labo na kasi this Audrey girl
entered the picture.
Tumango si Kylee, her eyes lingering on Oliver for a moment before she went inside.
"Like I recently told someone," he smiled a little, "I'll just go with the flow."
"We can still get together naman, diba?" natatawang sinabi ni Zeo. "It's not like
you'll be with her twenty-four seven."
Sumipol si Zeo.
"We can still have those 'little trio bonding moments'," assured Oliver. "Not just
as often nang inaakala natin when the break started."
"Why is that?"
Hindi sumagot si Oliver. He just stared at Zeo, conveying a message through his
eyes. Zeo seemed to get the message naman, kasi he nodded and smiled
appreciatively.
Ay, grabe. Ang bait. Hindi man lang ako sinali sa silent conversation nila. Parati
nalang. Nakakapikon na talaga.
"Ewan ko sa inyo," I snapped, turning away and heading back to the house.
"Guy thing niyo mukha niyo," I retorted. Malapit na 'ko sa pinto. Naririnig ko ang
footsteps nila sa likod ko.
"'Wag ka nang magselos, Simba. You know naman na ikaw ang gusto ko."
"Ouch, bro. And here I thought I'm the love of your life."
Bromance.
_____________
"Ow!" I yelped.
May point siya dun. "Gisingin mo ba naman ako ng ganto, sinong magiging jolly?"
mataray kong sagot. It was true na I love mornings and breakfasts. Pero this was
one of those times na my dream was so good! Action! Bitin tuloy. Langya.
I tried getting up from his body on top of mine kaso ang bigat talaga ni Benjo.
With all that height and muscle, I really shouldn't be surprised. Besides, I was
used to this.
Grr. Asaaar.
"LANA NADINE LOPEZ!" natatawa niyang sinigaw, like some sort of cry bago niya ako
nilabanan.
I shoved his face with my right foot, while my left foot kicked his arm away. Wrong
move, kasi he was able to grab both of my feet. He pulled me toward him gamit ang
mga binti ko. I started kicking wildly, pero malakas ang grip niya.
Medyo malapit yung mukha niya from mine. I took that opportunity. Huminga ako ng
malalim. Then, binugahan ko siya ng hininga ko na hindi pa nakakatikim ng
toothpaste ngayong umaga. His face made a scrunched up face. Tapos, he instantly
let go.
Lalo pa akong tumawa. "Hoy! Kayo kaya ang nagturo ng tactic na yan sa'kin. Just
returning years worth of that."
Ang OA kung maka-react. Mas malala pa nga sila e. Yung mga pinsan kong lalaki, they
fart on my face all the effing time. Hindi pa sila kuntento dun. They had to shove
their armpits sa mukha ko para amuyin ko daw. Hanggang ngayon, they still do it.
"I'll tell everyone," he declared, dashing out of the room before I could say
anything.
For a moment, kinabahan ako. Baka kasi kung anong isipin ng iba. I've always been
careful about what people think about me. Then, I remembered I was with my friends
kaya okay lang. Although, I wouldn't exactly call Mika my 'friend'. Still, I didn't
care about what she thought of me. So I shrugged and let it go.
Yan ang unang sumalubong sa'kin the moment I stepped foot inside the dining room.
Nagsitawanan sila. Benjo flashed me a grin, which I rolled my eyes at.
"Be thankful nalang na hindi ko yun ginawa sayo," sabi ko kay Zeo.
Of all the times na merong sense of humor si Oliver, he chose this time as one of
them. I humored him. Minsan lang siya ganto e.
"You're welcome," I told him, going to my seat between Cass and Kylee.
"Oo nga," added Kylee in a hushed tone. "Tawa pa nga siya ng tawa e."
Okay, medyo hindi ko ine-expect yun. Actually, I didn't even consider na baka nga
ma-turn off si Zeo sa unladylike behavior ko. Then again, we've been very good
friends first. Kaya siguro I didn't think it mattered.
Not all guys are like this, though. Hindi lahat nagto-tolerate ng ganung
klaseng . . . well, kadiring ugali ng babae. So as much as possible, better be
private about your gross activities until you're very sure na comfortable na kayo
sa isa't isa.
"Tama na ang girl talk," Ryan piped up. "Kumain muna kayo."
Ah. Kaya pala. Come to think of it, tahimik lang si Mika habang kumakain. Baka
hindi na nakapagtimpi si Ryan at pinagalitan na siya.
Napangiti ako dun. Excited na 'ko! I brought my jar of Nutella kasi alam kong
dadaan kami para bumili ng strawberries for sure. 'Di na ako makapagantay!
After eating, everyone loaded their things sa mga sasakyan. Binilisan ko ang
pagaayos ng mga gamit ko so that I could take a picture of the house we stayed in.
I planned to post it on Instagram, syempre.
Pagkatapos kong kunan ng picture yung bahay, I stood outside staring at it. Buti
nalang at kaibigan ko si Ryan, aside from the fact na boyfriend siya ni Cass at
best friend siya ni Benjo. Pwede naming balik-balikan 'tong bahay kapag gusto namin
mag-weekend dito.
Oliver called me para sumakay na sa SUV ni Zeo. He was driving this time. I obeyed
and climbed in at the back.
Cass and Ryan got the Montero all to themselves. Mika wanted to ride with us sa
kotse ni Zeo, but Oliver didn't bother hiding the fact that he was against that
idea. That left Benjo, Kylee, and Mika in Patrick's car.
Ooh. Naawa naman ako kay Kylee, left seating right next to Mika for hours.
"Wait," I told the Manila boys, before Oliver could step on the accelerator. I
opened the car window and called over to my girlfriend. "Kylee! Sakay ka nalang
sa'min."
"You cool with this, Ollie?" Hindi ko natanong si Zeo kasi busy siya sa phone niya.
And Oliver's the one na may issues with noisy and nosy people. I'm not saying na
ganun si Kylee . . . Okay, ganun si Kylee. But only to people na close na niya. So
I think she's safe.
"Yeah," he answered.
"Tara na, Kylee!" I motioned for her to get in. Pinigilan ko ang sarili kong tumawa
kasi it was pretty obvious na natataranta siya habang papalapit sa'min.
I opened the car door para makapasok si Kylee. I glanced behind her and saw from
afar na naka-pout si Mika. I waved at her and flashed her my winning smile.
Inirapan niya 'ko at pumasok na siya sa kotse ni Patrick.
She grinned and didn't say more. Tinitigan ko siya habang umandar na ang sasakyan.
Holy shiz. Parang hindi niya kayang magsalita sa harap ni Oliver. She needed a
girlfriend intervention. ASAP!
I tapped the Instagram app. Wala namang bago sa notifications ko. Likes here and
there, pero that was it. Anong tinutukoy ni Cass?
Kylee gasped beside me. Hinablot niya ang phone ko and scrolled through the news
feed. When she found what she was looking for, she handed my phone back to be.
Muntik ko nang mabitawan yung phone ko when I saw the picture. Tumingin ako kay
Kylee with a questioning look. She nodded excitedly. Binalik ko ang mga mata ko sa
screen.
Rustic yung effect ng photo, tapos may light leaks. It was an image of my
silhouette by the house. I was standing against the sun light, kaya outline ko lang
yun kita. It was during the time na pini-picturan ko yung bahay kanina before we
left.
Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko. I had no idea that Zeo took a picture of me. Syempre,
kinilig din ako. Duh. Sinong hindi kikiligin? Ang ganda pa ng pagkakakuha. Gusto ko
tuloy gawing Display Picture sa facebook. Kaso hindi naman ako tinag ni Zeo, so I
guess he was keeping my identity a mystery.
Is he not ready to share me to the world yet kasi he didn't want unnecessary rumors
going around, lalo na't hindi naman kami official? Or is it because he didn't want
his fans to bash and hate me?
Sa totoo lang, mas gusto kong hindi pinapaalam ni Zeo kung sino yung girl sa
picture na yun. I didn't like negative attention. Mas okay nang hindi muna public
yung relationship namin ni Zeo until we were official - if we ever got official.
♥ 3597 likes
TheZeoAlcante :)
Smiley face lang. Lakas talaga maka-intriga ng kumag na 'to. Tamo, 281 comments na
agad in 30 minutes. I didn't even want to view all those comments. Baka mawindang
lang ako. Kaya tinitigan ko nalang yung smiley face.
Is it weird kung para sa'kin, mas meaningful pa yung smiley face na yun than any
other words na he could put dun sa caption? It wasn't cheesy. It was simple. It
screamed of Zeo.
***
Before I knew it, nasa Strawberry Farm na agad kami. Bumili kaming lahat ng mga
ipapasalubong namin sa Manila at Tagaytay. It took us longer than needed kasi
nagharutan pa yung mga lalaki sa pagtikim ng strawberries.
I didn't mind. I soaked up the serenity of the town as much as I can bago kami
tuluyang umalis ng Baguio. I even closed my eyes para feel na feel ko talaga.
Click!
Napadilat ako sa tunog ng camera shot. I caught Zeo with his iPhone directed
straight at me. Ha! Huli ka, balbon!
"I'd say 'take a picture, it lasts longer' kaso ginawa mo na," sabi ko, shaking my
head.
Pinilit kong hindi ipakita na natutuwa ako na ako yung napili niyang target na
picturan, kahit na sobrang daming magagandang landscapes dito.
"Hindi naman abot sa 'net yung breath mo e. You're safe, Simba." Then, he winked.
WOW. Abot lupa ata ang nganga ko sa sinabi niya. I can't believe he brought that
up! Kung kanina, I could care less what he thought about it. Pero the way he said
it ngayon, nakakahiya! Yes, I admit it. Nahihiya ako sa kumag na 'to. Pinapamukha
niya e. Especially when we kiss occasionally.
"Wait," he paused, unsure. "You did brush your teeth and rinse your mouth, did
you?"
Grabe. Ang kapal ng mukhaaa. Ang sarap upakan ng kumag. Nakakabwisit siya. Panira
ng peaceful atmosphere. At the same time, gusto kong matawa kasi we're still the
same old bickering us despite our so-called relationship now.
"Don't worry," I sighed, mocking boredom. "'Di na kita hahalikan. Ever. Again."
Hindi nag-reply si Zeo. I took all my will para pigilan ang sarili ko na hindi
tumingin sa kanya to read his expression. Kaso hindi ko kaya e.
I looked at him sideways. He seemed to waiting for me to look at him because when I
did, his lips broke into his infamous uber sexy smile.
"As if naman you can keep yourself from doing it," he said confidently.
"Like you tried not to look at me, but you did anyways?"
I bit my lip. I mentally groaned at the realization na sinadya niyang hindi sumagot
para tumingin ako sa kanya, with him knowing na hindi ko mapipigilan ang sarili ko.
Badtrip.
"Accept mo nalang the fact na you're Zeofied."
I blinked. Pano niya nalaman yung word na yun? Narinig ko lang yun kina Cass nung
inaasar nila ko one time e.
Oh. Sa twitter pala galing yun. Grabe naman maka-come up ng words yung fans ni Zeo.
In fairness, creative. Kahit nga ako ginagamit ko na rin.
"Uwian na!"
Our heads turned at the same time. Nagsisibalikan na ang mga friends namin sa mga
sasakyan. Zeo and I followed after them. Without warning, he took my hand and
intertwined our fingers together.
Swiftly, Zeo pulled me towards him and leaned his face closer to mine. "I wouldn't
care if you have the baddest breath every morning," he whispered against my ear.
"Even if I have to cover my nose, I'd still kiss you."
Tinitigan ko siya. Did he really just say that? Nang mag sink in na talagang sinabi
niya yun, I burst out laughing. It sounded sweet and ridiculous at the same time. I
liked it. I liked seeing this side of Zeo. I think I might even like it too much.
Lalo akong natawa. "Ay, sorry! Hahaha!" Ang cute niyang mag-tampo kahit kailan.
Gwapo kasi e. Sobrang adorable tuloy ng itsura kapag naka-pout.
I keep asking myself how I managed to get him. Of all the girls na nakaka-mingle
and nakikilala niya, I was the one who made him want to be committed. Why? How did
I do that? Did I really do anything? Kung dahil sa list, grabe naman ka-effective
yung list ko.
I couldn't ask for anyone else, really. Gwapo na, makisig pa. Matangkad na,
athletic pa. Malakas na ang sense of humor, gentleman pa. Easy to be around with
na, never a dull moment with him pa. Most of all, I managed to get past the walls
he put up from everyone.
He let me in.
What more could I ask for? Well, that thing. The labels. The official thing.
But I'm giving him time. I won't rush this. It'll happen. Tiwala lang.
Zeo was still shaking his head when we got to his SUV. When he opened the car door
to the back seat, sabi niya, "Kylee, ikaw na sa front seat. I want to hold this
Moment Destroyer for the next few hours e."
Tumingin sa'kin si Kylee with a confused look, pero sumunod naman siya. Nahuli ko
pa nga yung cheeks niya na medyo namumula. Halata namang dahil yun sa makakatabi
niya si Oliver the whole way back. Oh, babe. Sisimulan ko na talaga yung girlfriend
intervention namin pagbalik sa Tagaytay.
Zeo didn't let go of my hand as he let me get in before him. Nang makaupo na siya
ng maayos, hinila niya ko closer hanggang sa nakasandal ako sa chest niya. It was
warm and hard.
Sa totoo lang, I felt safe. Then, he put his arms around me. At that, I felt
protected - owned. Weird na ma-feel ang stability sa situation namin, but I felt
it. This . . . What we have? If I ever doubted it before, hindi na ngayon.
I could feel it with the way he held me so gently but possessively, like he didn't
want to do anything else other than this; with the way his lips were against my
hair, like he found the most precious thing he'd treasure; with the way we seemed
to perfectly fit, like an energy transferring from his body to mine. I've never
been more certain in my life.
This is genuine.
When we were all set, lumingon sa'min si Oliver. He opened his mouth to say
something, but then he changed his mind and closed his mouth. He just shook his
head in amusement and faced the road again.
At twitter . . .
@LanaaaLopez: "I would rather have hope with you than certainty with anyone else."
These past weeks passed by like a blur. Minsan nga, naiisip ko kung nangyari ba
talaga ang mga nangyari. But then, there were the videos and pictures in my phone
to prove it.
For the past couple of weeks, Zeo and I were always together. Kung saan-saan kami
nakakarating. We traveled wherever we felt like it. At some point, nakapunta kami
sa Puerto Galera ng kaming dalawa lang. That was the very highlight for me in those
two weeks.
For three days and two nights, we stayed there. Sobrang paradise nun. Away from it
all, tapos kaming dalawa lang ang magkasama. We strolled around the beach, went
scuba diving and kayaking, laid on the sand at night to stargaze . . . and we
talked. A lot.
Nag-kwento siya about all the pressures and high expectations he got from
Basketball, his carefree high school life, his closely watched life right now, his
family na he cared about so much kahit na they could be high maintenance most of
the time, the fact na he loved being the youngest sa kanilang tatlong magkakapatid
kasi wala sa kanya yung responsibilities, and the fact na siya daw yung favorite ng
mga grandparents at kamaganak nila (I playfully rolled my eyes at that one).
I also found out na their father left them when they were still young. Wala na raw
silang balita about him. Last they heard, nasa Singapore daw. That was it. Zeo and
his brothers didn't bother to find him. They were satisfied without him in their
lives. It was sad.
Na-realize ko nung kinwento niya yun sa'kin kung bakit siya masyadong unready sa
idea ng commitment. Now I get why Oliver said to be patient.
All this time, I always thought na I knew Zeo already. Pero those nights with him
sa Puerto Galera, I realized na in the time that I've known him, I only got to know
the parts na he allowed me to see. Spending that time with him changed that.
Hindi ko alam na possible pa, pero I felt even more comfortable with him na. Sa
totoo lang, parang he's the most wonderful part of my life right now. The one I
looked forward to talk to - to tell about my day.
When sembreak ended, I had to leave Benjo's condo. I stayed there tuwing gagala
kami ni Zeo kung saan man, which was practically everyday for the past two weeks.
"Tulungan mo 'kong maghanap ng kakainan natin, Lana!" Kylee half pleaded and half
demanded, pulling me out of my deep thoughts. "Kanina ka pa out of this world ah."
"Sorry," I giggled, thinking about the girls with envious looks nung naglalakad
kami ni Zeo sa beach last week. A topless Zeo, mind you.
Yup, I got to touch the abs. Perks of those make-out sessions, baby.
Hmm. Ayos lang. You could never go wrong with pizza. So I followed Kylee papunta sa
Pizza Hut, doing my best to focus on what she was talking about.
Date namin ni Kylee today sa SM Dasma, yung closest mall from where we lived na may
actual cinema house.
Remember that girlfriend intervention thing? Hindi ko din nagawa with Cass kasi
busy ako traveling with Zeo. Failure as a girlfriend ako kina Kylee and Cass. My
gulay.
Kaya ngayon, bawi ako ng bawi kay Kylee. Si Cass naman ang MIA.
The new semester started nung Wednesday, kaya hindi pa masyadong hectic sa school.
May time pa kami para maging loose ng konti.
"Uy!" cried Kylee, running in to a DVD store just across Pizza Hut. "Sale ang High
School Musical DVD set oh! Sandali, bibili ako."
Naglakad-lakad ako sa loob ng store habang nag-aantay kay Kylee na bilhin yung High
School Musical DVD set niya. Bigla akong nakakita ng The Lion King DVD.
Rule #15: Never message first. Either chat, PM, email, or text, huwag ikaw ang
mauuna. The simplest explanation dito ay: Guys like the chase. Hindi ka niya
exactly hinahabol kung hindi ka magpapahabol. Kung ikaw ang unang maga-approach,
lumalabas ka nang easy sa kanya. And there's another issue na 'what if hindi siya
magreply'? Tapos, seenzoned ka pa. Pahiya ka na agad dun, girl. Hayaan mo siya ang
unang mag-message. That way, you have the upper hand. *exception: You can only
message him first IF random. Example nun ay kung may makita/mapanuod/marinig ka
that reminds you of him.
Since random naman 'to, I decided to text Zeo. I took a snapshot of the DVD, tapos
in-iMessage ko siya.
(image)
I chuckled sa caption na nilagay ko. Habang nagaantay sa reply niya, nakita kong
tapos na si Kylee magbayad sa counter. Lumapit na ako sa kanya at pumunta na kami
sa Pizza Hut.
Nag-vibrate yung phone ko. Hindi ko na napigilan yung ngiti ko nang makita ko yung
pangalan ng nag-text. Ano kaya reply niya?
Napatawa ako ng malakas pagkabasa ko. I automatically covered my mouth with my hand
kasi nagtinginan sa'kin yung mga tao habang papasok kami ni Kylee sa restaurant. I
pressed my lips together, ignoring Kylee's questionable look.
I knew for a fact na hindi mabuhok si Zeo sa katawan. Meron naman siyang buhok sa
binti, pero hindi masyadong halata kasi light brown hair. Kaya nga parang ang linis
linis niyang tignan e. Kahit ganun, hindi rin naman siya nagmu-mukhang bakla.
'Di pa muna ako nag-reply kay Zeo. Umupo muna kami ni Kylee in one of the booths,
at nag-scan ng io-order. Bago bumababa ang paningin ko sa menu, a familiar figure
from a distance caught my eye.
Holy effing shiz! Dito nagtatrabaho si Tristan, yung dati kong crush! Siya yung
dahilan kung bakit ko ginawa yung List. Masyadong nasaktan yung ego ko nun, kaya I
swore I'd never be that pathetic over a guy ever again. And here I was, better than
ever.
Sa totoo lang, I'm not holding a grudge against him. I'd like to thank him pa nga
e. He made me realize na I shouldn't be the one chasing the guy. I have more worth
than that.
So nagbago ako. Nag-improve na rin ng bongga yung itsura ko from the last time na
nagkita kami, which was probably more than three years ago.
Teka lang. Papalapit siya sa table namin. Oh, my God. Siya yung magse-serve sa'min!
Couldn't this get any more awkward?
Tumango si Kylee. Humarap siya kay Tristan at sinabi ang mga order namin. I finally
looked at him then. We made eye contact. There was a clear recognition there.
"Heto, ganun pa rin." Psh. Yeah, right. Ang laki kaya ng pinagbago ko, lalo na on
how to handle guys. Thanks to you. "Ikaw?" I added, being polite.
"Ah." Awkward. Awkward. Awkward. "AH. Tristan, si Kylee. Kylee, Tristan - kapatid
ng tropa nila Ryan."
"Hi." He smiled back at her, tapos tumingin ulit siya sa'kin. "'Di na kita nakikita
sa school."
He was being friendly. Okay, I could deal with that. Nakakapanibago lang kasi
tuwing magkakasalubong kami dati sa school, puro nods and polite smiles lang.
"Parati lang ako sa student council room e," sagot ko nalang, which was partly
true.
"Woo," singit ni Kylee with a teasing smile. "Student council room lang daw. 'Di ka
na kaya masyadong tumatambay sa campus kasi palagi ka nang nasa Manila noh."
Nakakainis yung tono ng pananalita niya. Hindi ko nagustuhan. Yung tono niya para
bang hindi ako bagay na gumala sa Manila? Ewan ko ba. Basta parang may mali.
Shy daw, sabi ni Oliver. Nasan ang shy dito? Hindi ko makita.
Awkwaaaaard.
Ngumiti ako. "Thank you." Yes, tapos na sa wakas ang pilit at awkward na usapan!
"Sino dun?" she whispered back. "Madami kang naging crush kaya."
"Remember the guy na nagpa-mukha sa'kin na may gusto siya sa ibang babae para lang
tigilan ko na siya kasi he doesn't have the balls to say it to my face?"
Shucks. Ang pathetic talaga ng sixteen-year-old self ko. Napapa-wince ang twenty-
year-old self ko whenever it crosses my mind.
"Oo."
I laughed out loud when she said that. Yung mga nakakakilala lang talaga sa'kin ang
nakakapansin.
Before ako maka-reply, napansin kong umilaw yung phone ko. May text uli.
Me: SM Dasma, with Kylee. Nakita ko yung ex-crush ko. Ang awkward. >_<
Me: He's working here sa Pizza Hut. And he's being friendly. And Kylee's being a
blabbermouth.
Zeo: Perhaps you need a little rescuing. *biceps emoji* *smirk emoji*
Zeo: Otw na ko. Coach invited the team to have dinner there in Tagaytay. See
you. :) xxx
I was about to ask him if he was driving and texting, but then knowing him, tatawag
nalang siya kung siya yung nagda-drive. Malamang may kasama siyang teammate.
"AYEEEEE!"
"I don't think so," sagot ko. "May dinner daw sila with their coach sa Tagaytay e."
"We haven't seen him in two weeks, babe," I said a little sadly. "Nag Asian Cruise
sila ng family niya with Audrey. Next pa daw balik nila."
"You need to find another guy to crush on, Kylee. Ollie's sort of taken na kasi e."
"Kakaiba siya!" cried Kylee. "Ang hirap maghanap ng tahimik na lalaki na mahilig sa
indie music noh. Tapos ang astig pa ng dating niya. Huuu! Bakit kasi hindi pe-
pwedeng akin nalang siya?"
Hindi ako sumagot. Mabuti nalang at dumating na ang mga food namin. Kaso, heto na
naman ang awkwardness.
"Okay," sabi ko nalang, hindi kasi siya pinapansin ni Kylee. "Thank you," I added
to Tristan. When he was gone, I turned to Kylee and said, "Masyado kang obvious."
"Oy, hindi ah." Sumimangot siya. "Hindi naman siya gwapo e."
Kung ikukumpara mo ba naman kay Zeo or Oliver, malamang hindi talaga. Wala pa nga
sa binti nilang dalawa si Tristan e. Pero may itsura na rin naman siya. Tsaka,
sobrang gentleman ni Tristan. Feel mo talaga yung pagka-babae mo kung itrato ka
niya. Medyo kilala din yung family nila in some parts of Tagaytay.
Tingin ko naman, hindi niya sinasadya yung nangyari. Siguro, hindi niya lang alam
kung paano i-handle yung ganung klaseng situation na yung babae ang naghahabol sa
kanya.
Geez. Nakakahiya talaga yung sarili ko that time. Sarap kong sampalin nung time na
yun. Seriously. Then again, kung hindi yun nangyari, I wouldn't be where I was now.
Kylee sighed. "Mabuti pa ang pagkain, parating nandyan kapag malungkot ka."
"I told you, hanap nalang kita ng ibang guy." Medyo mahirap nga lang yun kasi
mataas standards niya katulad ko. "Or better yet, mag-focus ka nalang muna sa ibang
stuff. Like Four! You have a major crush on Four, diba? Or Augustus Waters?"
Oops. Dapat pala hindi ko binanggit si Gus. Ayan na. Nagwa-watery na yung eyes ni
Kylee, as expected.
"Tapos, manuod uli tayo ng sine mamaya. Chick flick uli, okay?"
"Okay," I chuckled.
I shook my head in amusement, and began eating na. Kylee and I argued about Reign,
one of the many tv series na kinababaliwan namin ngayon. Team Bash kasi siya, while
Team Francis ako. Ilang episodes palang ang napapalabas, pero sobrang hooked na
namin ni Kylee.
'Di ko namalayan, may pinagtitinginan na pala ang mga tao sa labas. Wapakels lang
kami. Or at least, wapakels ako. Si Kylee, lumilingon na rin sa labas through the
glass para tignan kung anong meron.
Hindi ko alam kung bakit hindi ko na-gets agad. I should've known it the moment na
nagkaroon ng mga echoserang waitress na lumabas pa talaga sa may entrance ng
restaurant para makasulyap sa kung sino mang sikat ang nandito sa SM Dasma. I
should've known it the moment na yung mga mata ng tao sa labas ay papunta dito sa
Pizza Hut.
I faintly heard Kylee shriek under her breath, habang naka-focus ako kay Zeo.
Bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko sa sobrang sabik. Kung wala lang taong nakatingin,
siguro tumakbo na 'ko sa kanya to hug him.
I feel like I haven't seen him for months. Paano ba naman, almost twenty-four/seven
kaming magkasama for a couple of weeks. Kaya it feels like months, when really
several days lang ang nakalipas since we last saw each other.
Zeo scanned the room with his eyes. Naka-simpleng white shirt and jeans lang siya
that fit him in all the right places. Yun lang suot niya pero my gulay. Ang lakas
ng dating!
I involuntarily bit my lip, thinking about what was under that shirt.
Kitams? Medyo pervert na rin ako after spending that much time with him. Pero sa
totoo lang, I didn't care. I could touch him whenever I felt like it. Sinong hindi
magiging pervert kapag meron kang karapatan to do that?
May lumapit sa kanyang waitress, obviously offering help. Sakto, his eyes found
mine at that moment. Siguro sa point of view ko lang, pero parang slow-mo yung pag-
ngiti niya na abot hanggang mata. Kitang kita ko din yung dimples niya from where I
was sitting.
I must have a goofy looking smile plastered on my face, but I'm too giddy to care.
I got out of the booth. Zeo raised his arms when he got near and pulled me into a
hug. Putting my arms around him, I rested my head on the crook of his neck.
There are times na hindi mo na kailangang mag-pakipot. Like now, alam na naman ni
Zeo yung feelings ko sa kanya e. Plus, he feels the same way. So okay lang na
aminin na na-miss ko siya. Especially after spending that time with him in Puerto
Galera.
"Good to know I'm not the only one," he grinned, pulling away. Reluctantly, his
eyes left mine and wandered sa table. "Yo, Kylee."
"This is Sev," pakilala ni Zeo sa naka semi-kalbo niyang kasama. "Sev, Kylee -
close friend ni Simba."
Bumalik na ako sa pwesto ko, Zeo followed and sat beside me. Si Sev naman, umupo sa
tabi ni Kylee. In no time, dinaldal na ni Kylee si Sev. Kapag hindi niya talaga
crush, sobrang friendly niya.
Suddenly, I felt Zeo's fingers on my chin. He gently turned my face to him. Kahit
kailan talaga, I'm always entranced by those brown eyes pati yung little freckles
niya. Medyo tan na siya ngayon from all that time in the beach pero if anything,
that only made him look huskier.
I noticed his lips curve into that damn uber sexy smile.
. . .
OMAYGAHD.
"Craving for dessert," sagot ko casually. Sana hindi niya halata yung kilig ko.
Aasarin niya 'ko ng walang kamatayan, if ever. Lalo na, napaka-simple lang ng
sinabi niya.
The uber sexy smile was the last thing I saw before he leaned in and kissed me full
on the lips. Smack lang naman, pero grabe. I totally lost focus.
Holy shiz. I'm turning into goo.
"Is that sweet enough for you?" he asked when he pulled away, obvious sa boses niya
na nangaasar siya.
Ahh. So he's teasing me. Well, two can play at this game.
I hooked a finger sa may collar ng shirt niya. Hinila ko siya papalapit and placed
my mouth on his. I swiped my tongue across his bottom lip. I instantly felt his
hand grip my waist, making me smile inwardly. When he opened his mouth, lumayo ako.
Hindi ko maalis yung ngiti sa mukha ko. Yung itsura ni Zeo when I pulled away . . .
Priceless! He looked so hot and bothered. Akala niya ah. Bwahaha!
"You sure?" tanong ni Zeo. "Baka you need another taste pa."
What the?
Sinawsaw niya uli yung mga daliri niya sa baso ng tubig, tapos winisikan niya uli
kami ni Zeo while making a sizzling sound like, "Sssssssssssssssssh."
"Sabi ko na e!" exclaimed Kylee, sabay turo kay Zeo. "Selos ka noh?"
Although thrilling kung iisipin na makikita ni Tristan kung sino ang sort of
boyfriend ko ngayon, ayoko naman ding ipa-mukha sa kanya yun. Bakit pa, diba? I
mean, it won't make me a better person. But too late, I guess. Nakita na niya, for
sure. The only thing I can do right now is to not rub it in his face.
There was an uneasy silence habang tumitingin si Kylee sa menu. I guess it was time
to introduce those na mga hindi pa napapakilala.
"Tristan, si -"
"Zeo Alcante," nodded Tristan. Lumingon naman siya kay Sev. "Sev Rufino."
Of course, kilala niya. Ako lang ata ang hindi masyadong pala-nuod ng UAAP.
"Nice, Lana," sabi ni Tristan. "Si Zeo Alcante pala yung tinutukoy niyo kanina."
Medyo nagulat si Tristan sa biglaang tanong ni Zeo, pero mukhang nagustuhan naman
niya yung attention. "Sa birthday nung mutual friend namin dati," simpleng sagot
niya.
Hindi pala umabot kay Tristan yung balita. Pinagkakalat kasi ni Mika yun sa campus.
Syempre, siya ang bida sa story niya kaya hindi niya kinu-kwento yung part na may
something sa'min ni Zeo. In fairness, may bright side din yung pagiging self-
centered niya.
Sa wakas, nakapili na rin si Kylee ng dessert. We all went with what she picked.
After taking our order, umalis na ulit si Tristan.
"Dude, Lana's right," said Sev. "Awkward nga. I could literally feel the tension."
"There's something fake about him," observed Zeo. "'Di ko ma point out what."
Nung dumating na yung dessert, hindi na nag-linger around si Tristan para makipag-
kwentuhan (thank goodness). Hindi na talaga ako comfortable around him. Actually,
never akong naging comfortable kapag nandyan siya kahit dati pa.
After an hour of chatting, including na dun yung time na lumapit yung ibang mga tao
na may mga lakas ng loob para magpa-picture kina Zeo at Sev, kinuha na namin yung
bill. Nag-away pa kami ni Zeo kung sino ang magbabayad. Inaako niya kasi e. Parati
nalang. Hindi kaya healthy sa ego ko.
In the end, si Sev ang nagbayad habang busy kami ni Zeo mag-argue.
"Swerte ni Lana," I heard him tell Zeo nung papunta na kami sa exit. "Clingy pala
mga type mo, dre," pabiro niyang dinagdag.
I could see it with the way he looked at me na he was putting two and two together.
He knew all about the boy who changed me. Naikwento ko sa kanya. Hindi ko lang
sinabi kung sino exactly. Since nabanggit ni Tristan kung paano kami nag-meet, at
nabanggit din niya na 'clingy' ako, nagka-hint si Zeo just who Tristan is.
Ngayon, mukhang alam na niya. Hindi ko sure kung guni-guni ko lang, pero parang
something changed in his eyes.
"You guys go ahead," sabi niya sa'min, nodding towards the exit.
Sumunod sina Sev at Kylee. Nauna na sila sa labas. I looked at Zeo curiously muna,
bago ako sumunod sa labas.
From outside, through the glass, kita ko ang nangyayari sa loob. Inakbayan ni Zeo
si Tristan as if long time friends sila. May sinabi siya kay Tristan, causing my
ex-crush to become pale. After seeing the effect his words had, Zeo smirked in
satisfaction. He patted Tristan and left. Just like that.
"Simba."
"Mufamba!"
Tumingin sina Zeo at Sev kay Kylee, confusion etched on their faces.
"Anyway, date namin ni Kylee today," I reminded the two tall Soledarians bago pa
makapagtanong si Zeo tungkol sa nickname nila Kylee sa'min. "Manunuod pa kami ng
movie. How about you guys?"
"We'll go ahead na," declared Zeo. "Have fun," he added, stepping closer to give me
a hug.
"Later, Simba," he said, gently grabbing my neck towards him in order for him to
lay a kiss on my forehead.
Nang wala na sina Zeo at Sev, nag-fangirl kami ni Kylee syempre. We honestly didn't
care kung may mga tumingin na tao habang papunta kami sa cinema house.
"Ayeeeee! Grabe, ang sweet talaga nung kiss sa noo!" kinikilig na sinabi ni Kylee.
Hanggang ngayon, mainit pa rin yung cheeks ko. Zeo started doing that nung nasa
Puerto Galera kami. And every time he does it, nagi-init ang mga pisngi ko. Simula
nun, naintindihan ko na ang expression na 'I'm fanning myself.'
Iba talaga yung feeling e. Yung para bang he's making little promises from that
soft peck? Parang he's telling me how important I am in his life and he's not going
anywhere.
_____________
Dapat wala akong pasok ngayon e, kaso we had a student council meeting regarding sa
upcoming school event this December sa campus.
Ha?! Anong ibig niyang sabihin? Pero wait, parang may clue ako.
Zeo: Hell yeah. Natalo ko si Kuya sa poker last night. He lost his yacht to me. :P
Wow. Ganun ganun lang yun? Ang taray. I had to admit, though. Excited ako. I've
never been on a yacht before.
Zeo: Too excited to wait e. I stopped by somewhere to buy take-out for us to eat
later.
Sasabihin ko sana na magkita nalang kami somewhere in between para hindi na siya
mag-abala pang pumunta dito. Malayo din 'to from where he's coming from ah.
But then . . .
Rule #16: Let him make an effort. Heto ang isa sa mga bagay na makakapag-patunay
kung interesado or seryoso ba talaga ang guy sa'yo. Mage-effort ba naman siya kung
hindi? (Unless may motive siyang hindi maganda.) Kung hindi siya nage-effort, bakit
ka pa aasa na magkaron kayo ng something? Hindi pwedeng ikaw lang ang magpipilit.
It comes both ways.
Keeping that rule in mind, hinayaan ko nalang siya. I'll let him make an effort. In
turn, I'll be patient about this thing we have.
Pinigilan ko ang tawang nagpipilit lumabas. If I laughed out loud, patay ako kay
Joshua. Tamad na nga ako sa tasks, pati ba naman sa meeting hindi ako makikinig?
Well, hindi naman talaga ako nakikinig. Kapag sa ideas lang ako nagpa-participate.
Kaya siguro hindi sila masyadong nagre-reklamo kasi magaganda yung mga naiisip ko.
Zeo: Aight. :) xx
Buti nalang pwede yung suot ko na ipang-lakad; white sundress, white tennis shoes,
and army jacket. Simple.
At buti nalang, patapos na rin yung meeting. Naga-add nalang si Joshua ng several
reminders. Grabe. More than four hours din yung meeting ah.
"I need results next meeting, guys," said Joshua over the table with a no-nonsense
facial expression. "Dismissed."
Nagsi-tayuan na kami from the table. I was putting my notepad back to my bag when I
felt someone tap me on the shoulder. When I glanced back, nakita ko yung student
council Secretary namin na si Rica.
Siya lang ata ang hindi ako napipilitang pakisamahan sa mga officers. Dirty ang
politics, and even university ones weren't exempted to that fact. Pero for some
reason, magaang ang loob ko kay Rica.
It took some time bago mag-sink in yun mga sinabi ni Rica. Medyo mabilis din yung
pagkaka-sabi niya e - dahil sa excitement from her theory malamang.
"Nung in-interview siya sa site ng Candy Mag, sabi niya he's 'seeing someone' daw,"
Rica added. "Ikaw yung special someone na yun, Ate Lana!"
Hindi na siya nagtatanong dun sa last statement niya. Naniniwala talaga siya sa
theory niya. It made me wonder, siya lang ba ang nagiisip ng ganun?
Nakalimutan kong i-consider na madami-dami din pala yung mga naka-follow sa'kin sa
social networks dahil sa status ko sa school. Kaso, hindi naman na ako mahilig mag-
basa ng comments sa Instagram. Basta post nalang ako ng post. Hindi na rin ako
nagbabasa ng tweets sa timeline ng twitter ko. Halos hindi na nga ako nagti-twitter
e.
I forgot na marami nga palang stalker sa mga ganun, lalo na if yung tao ay
associated with a famous person.
Napaisip si Rica dun. "'Di ka naman kasi pala-tweet pati post ng kung anu-ano kaya
'di gaano. Tsaka, walang proof talaga na ikaw nga yung mystery girl. May haters at
bashers sa mga post ni Zeo, pero mas nangingibabaw kaming shippers niyo."
'Di ako masyadong thrilled sa idea na yun. I mean, not being ungrateful . . . pero
I don't like the idea na may mga echosera sa buhay namin. It's none of their
business. Kaso yun nga, sikat si Zeo e. Wala na akong magagawa.
Tumili siya sa sobrang tuwa, she even bounced a little. Napalingon ako sa student
council room. Kaming dalawa nalang nandito. Buti nalang.
"Oh, my gosh! Sureness, Ate! Sabi na e! Ikaw nga yun! Aaahh! Yung mga post at tweet
ni Zeo, grabeng nakaka-oomph talaga! Tapos - oh my gosh - ikaw pala tinutukoy niya
sa mga yun! Kinikilig ako!"
I laughed kasi parang she voiced out lahat ng kilig na naiipon sa loob ko all this
time.
Nag-kwentuhan pa kami ni Rica on our way to the gate. It was refreshing seeing
things from her point of view. She made my life sound so interesting. In a way, I
guess it was. At least, having friends like Zeo and Oliver made my life much more
eventful.
While waiting for Zeo sa may gate, nagkwentuhan pa kami ni Rica about naman sa
school events next year. Lahat kami, looking forward sa Valentines' Day. Madami
kasing possibilities sa booths and attractions.
I didn't even notice Zeo's SUV pull up sa may harap. Narinig ko nalang na nagiingay
yung mga grupo ng lalaki sa may gilid na gate. I looked at them, they were admiring
something. I followed the direction of their eyes and saw the SUV.
"You look cute," was the first thing Zeo said when I got inside.
He laughed harder.
Hindi ako nakasagot kasi naka-amoy ako ng pagkain. Burger. Mmm. My eyes wandered
around, searching for the source of the smell until nakita ko yung paperbags sa
backseat.
"Thank youuu."
Sa sobrang tuwa ko, I hugged him kahit na medyo uncomfortable ang pwesto namin.
Shucks. Feeling ko, ang swerte swerte ko talaga sa kanya.
***
WOW.
Nandito kami sa docks ng exclusive yacht club ng Manila. I've always imagined na
luxurious ang pamumuhay ng mga elite ng Pilipinas. Pero grabe, seeing it firsthand
like this is something else. Sa totoo lang, nakaka-intimidate.
"It's not that big," Zeo told me. "Mas malaki yung kay Lolo."
Big or small, yacht pa rin. Expensive pa din. Besides, hindi pa ba malaki yan? It
could hold probably twenty or more people.
"Is it okay na po, Mang Jose?" tinanong ni Zeo yung lalaki na parang may inaayos sa
loob ng yacht.
Sumampa na kami sa yacht. After that, I watched Zeo as he drove the yacht with
ease. Mukhang sanay na sanay na siya. Still, I had to ask.
In no time, we were in the middle of Manila Bay. Kitang kita ang Manila Skyline.
'Di ko aakalain na it would be so pretty. Speechless ako sa view, lalo na sa orange
sky from the sunset. Kaliwa't kanan, mamamangha ka sa makikita mo.
Tumango nalang ako, still dazed by the incredible view surrounding us. Ang
peaceful. Wala kang halos maririnig. It was like being isolated from the world.
It reminded me of that time na nag-kayak kami. We just laid our backs there on the
kayak in the middle of the sea, away from it all. Our eyes were closed and the
warmth of the sun was hitting our faces. It was as if kami lang ang tao sa mundo.
"Kapag I'm pressured or stressed," started Zeo, looking at the lowering sun, "I'd
nick the keys from Kuya Zander and sneak out here. Lolo would always cover for me."
Tuwing nababanggit ni Zeo ang lolo niya, I'd always hear admiration from his voice.
He told me once na very close silang magpipinsan sa lolo nila. But he was the
favored one.
"Defensive," I teased.
He studied me with curiosity in his eyes. "Ang lakas mo mang-asar ngayon ah."
Masaya kasi ako.
Gusto ko sana siyang tanungin kung bakit niya ko dinala dito. Pero instead, I just
smiled gratefully at him and said, "Thanks for bringing me along."
"Alam kong you'd like it. It's your first time on a yacht, diba?"
Pinigilan ko ang sarili kong kantahin yung kanta ni Lady Gaga na ganun ang title.
"I know."
"It's not my money," he admitted, staring into the horizon. "It will be soon,
though. Tapos nun, I'll have the responsibility to handle it wisely."
Zeo's living the luxurious life. Ang tanong, is it as easy as those outside of
their circle think it is? Syempre, kailangan nilang i-maintain yung ganung
lifestyle. In order to do that, they have to keep their companies and businesses
running well. When you think about it, it's not as easy as it sounds.
"You lead a completely different life compared to mine," I stated, habang nakatitig
pa rin ako sa kanya.
He'd always been happy-go-lucky sa paningin ko. Pero after everything he showed and
told me, there was depth e.
"Yet here we are," he murmured, staring back at me. Then, he flashed me his uber
sexy smile, showing hints of his dimples.
'Di ko alam how long we looked in each other's eyes. I easily got lost in those
brown orbs. And before I knew it, my eyes were closed and his lips were on mine.
One of his hands made its way to my back, pulling me closer to him hanggang sa wala
nang space between us. Both of my hands naman were around his neck, then went to
his hair.
I love the way he kisses me. It's as if he's kissing right into my soul.
By the time na nagkaron ako ng lakas to pull away, one of Zeo's hands was already
under my dress.
"Sorry," I panted, out of breath from all that. I knew for sure na mas mahirap 'to
for him. I felt bad, pero we really had to stop.
He rested his head on the crook of my neck, catching his breath. Tumaas balahibo ko
because his warm breath was hitting sensitive spots sa neck ko.
"I forgive you." I could hear the smile from his voice.
I laughed softly, thankful that he was keeping this light. May mga lalaki kasi na
sobra kung ma-badtrip kapag nabibitin. Sa totoo lang, hindi ko alam kung anong
mabuting ginawa ko to earn someone like Zeo's affection. He's so good to me.
Napatigil ako bigla. All thoughts flew out of my mind when I felt Zeo's lips
brushing against my skin. He left little kisses along my jawline . . . to the spot
beneath my earlobe . . . to my neck . . . to my collar bone . . .
"Did it work?" he whispered in a low husky voice, the warmth of his breath hitting
my skin made me shiver.
Grabe ang panghihina ang tuhod ko. Fuuudge. Hindi na niya kailangan pang mang-
seduce! Seductive na siya without him doing anything. Anak ng tokwa talaga. Gusto
ko nang bumigay.
"Ikain nalang natin 'to?" pabiro kong sinabi. Bigla kong naalala na I said the
exact same words to Kylee weeks ago. Food is the solution to almost everything.
He smiled warmly. "It's cool. I understand naman e." Leaning forward, he kissed me
on the forehead before going to get the food.
You'd think na yung tipo ni Zeo yung hindi talaga makakapagantay. Because of all
his flings, you'd think na magiging upset siya about not getting some. Pero that
was the thing about him nga e. There's more to him than meets the eye.
Kaya lang, hindi ko talaga kayang ibigay yung virginity ko. Sobrang important nun
e. Hindi naman ako santa to believe in marriage before sex. I just think na kung
sino man yung first ko, dun sa taong sigurado akong hindi ko pagsisisihan.
I want it to be with someone that I love and who also loves me back.
"Here you go," declared Zeo, placing the paper bags on the nearby table. "Just do
me a favor," he added, looking at me na parang handa siya to beg.
At that, natawa ako. I remembered nung last time we ate food from Army Navy
together. I moaned so hard that day. Lakas pa niyang mang-asar nun.
At twitter . . .
"Dapat dito 'ko nag-aral e," said Sean, thinking I'd care.
Two different classes ang pinapunta dito sa Silvestre University nung magaling
namin na prof. Ang pinunta namin dito? Yung famous Silvestre Art Gallery. We were
required to do a paper on the artworks. Since it has over five hundred, pipili lang
kami ng twenty-five. The paper holds 50% of our midterm grade. Walang choice kundi
pumunta talaga dito.
The only bright side here is, dito nag-aaral si Oliver. And I haven't seen him in
almost two months! Oo, we've texted to catch up with each other's lives pero that's
it. Mi hindi pa nga namin nami-meet ni Zeo yung Audrey niya e.
Rule #17: Make him miss you. Sooner or later, baka magkasawaan kayo kapag everyday
kayong magkausap. Wala nang room for space. So give him one. In the meantime, do
the things that you enjoy. If you have school or work, do that. Don't revolve your
world around him. May buhay ka din. Live it.
Naging busy ako with school mostly. The school event we were preparing for was last
week, tapos midterms this week. Sobrang hectic ng schedule ko na hindi ako nakaka-
reply sa mga texts ni Zeo. Kapag tatawag naman siya, hindi ko nasasagot kasi naka-
silent so that I could concentrate on school stuff.
I told him na I was studying for the coming hell week, besides the fact na sobrang
busy ako sa pagaasikaso ng mga kulang sa school event. He understood naman.
Finally, nakarating na kami dun sa building where the art gallery was. Goal ko
talaga to get to the task as soon as makapasok kami. Kaso napatigil ako when I saw
all the place.
The place was clean, neat, and orderly. Very sophisticated ang feel ng lugar. After
seeing the artworks around, I wanted to stay and appreciate every single one of
them. My original planned was shattered.
"Nag-pair up yung iba," sabi ni Sean. "Partner na tayo, Lana." He said it like the
decision was final already, parang privilege ko pa na partner ko siya.
Hindi ko na kaya.
Tinalikuran ko na siya. Siguro naman okay na yun. Pero hindi, he still fell in step
beside me and said, "Ayos lang. Hindi nalang ako magiingay."
What the fudge? Argh. Fine. Bahala siya. 'Di ko nalang siya papansinin.
All throughout ng pag-wander around the art gallery, magkasama kami ni Sean. We
were ten feet away from each other na parang hindi rin kami magkasama. In fairness
sa kanya, hindi nga siya nag-ingay. Hindi rin niya ko inistorbo.
When I got twenty-five artworks picked, tinago ko na ang notepad and ballpen ko sa
bag. Nagda-dalawang isip pa 'ko kung magpapaalam na 'ko kay Sean na mauuna na 'ko.
He wasn't as annoying as I expected him to be, after all.
"Una na 'ko, Sean," I told him, loud enough for him to hear.
Kaya ba siya nagpi-pilit makipag-close sa'kin, dahil kay Zeo? At first, akala ko na
kasi VP ako sa school tapos medyo may kaya family ko kaya pasok sa high standards
of friends niya. Pero of course, it was because of Zeo.
Tinitigan ko pa siya more. Bakit may feeling ako na closet queen 'tong si Sean? At
bakit ngayon ko lang napansin? It would explain kung bakit parating natatahimik
siya tuwing suot ko yung jacket ni Zeo nun. Obviously, nagseselos siya.
Ollie: That, and baka makita mo ex mo. Ayokong ma-suspend for getting into a fight.
Shiz! Hindi pumasok sa isip ko si Calvin. Dito nga rin pala siya nag-aaral. Fudging
shiz. Hindi ko talaga yun naisip. Mi hindi ko naalala man lang. Wow. I guess this
proved na wala na talaga akong pakialam sa kanya.
Kaso it would totally complicate things kapag merong unfortunate chance na magkita
kami ngayon. Ayaw kong masira araw ko. I've seen enough of his face to last me a
lifetime.
Kaya I stayed put inside the art gallery habang nagaantay kay Oliver. Iniwasan ko
na yung mga schoolmates ko. Hindi ko na rin masyadong naisip yung pagka-bakla ni
Sean kasi masyado akong alert in case na makita ko si Calvin or kahit sino sa mga
barkada niya.
After a few minutes, dumating na rin si Oliver. He looked pretty much like the last
time I saw him. He wasn't wearing his favorite leather jacket, though. Blue raglan
shirt, jeans, and black Converse shoes lang. Typical nice guy look, only Oliver
gave it an edge.
"Lan," he greeted with a smile.
'Di ko napigilan ang sarili ko. My arms flew around him and hugged him tight.
Sobrang tagal naming 'di nagkita, grabe tuloy ang pagka-miss ko sa kanya.
"Almost," he corrected.
We started walking. I let him lead the way since wala akong idea about this place
and where the closest fast food chain resto was.
"Hala. Bakit?"
Oliver replied thoughtfully, "Hindi rin naman. We got closure. Hindi na kami magwo-
wonder about what ifs."
Tinry kong pakinggang mabuti yung tono ng boses niya. Hinahanap ko if there was any
hint of regret or sadness, pero parang wala naman. Instead, parang there was peace
- closure.
He nodded.
"She's curious."
Oliver's smile widened. "When was the last time ba na nagkita kayo?"
I thought about it. "Mga three weeks ago? Pero it's been two weeks since last time
na nagusap kami. Busy e."
He looked amused.
"Wala."
"Wala nga."
"Nosy ka lang."
"Ditto," I smiled.
Palabas na kami ng gate ng campus nila nang may sumalubong sa'ming girl. I noticed
na mahinhin siya. Tapos, simple but elegant ang peg ng porma niya. Alam mong rich
kid. Hindi lang niya pinamumukha sayo tulad ng iba.
Pinakilala kami ni Oliver sa isa't isa. I found out that her name's Angelica. Medyo
nagulat nga ako e. Her name fits her very well.
May inabot lang siya kay Oliver na hiniram daw ng kuya niya. Now na natitigan ko
siya, I realized na isa siya dun sa mga kasama ni Oliver nung UAAP Championships.
"Ikaw ah!" asar ko kay Oliver, when Angelica left. "Sino yun?"
Ay, hindi niya type yung mga mahihihinhin. Hmm. 'Di naman mahinhin si Kylee, pero
nagmumukha siyang shy type whenever Oliver's around.
"Bakit naman?" tanong ko uli. Ang weird lang. Hindi ko naisip na hindi ganun yung
mga type niya. Akala ko mas type niya talaga yung mga ganun. Tas, hindi pala.
"Masyado kasing maalaga," he said, frowning a little. "I can take care of myself."
Wow. Medyo sexist, pero gets ko naman yung point niya. After what he said, napansin
ko na very Oliver-ish nga yung reason niya kung bakit ayaw niya sa sweet girls. Edi
yung mga type niya pala yung mga confident girls? Or ano?
Ang hirap talagang basahin ni Oliver. Sometimes, I wonder how we get along so well
despite our differences and our clashing personalities.
"Besides," he paused to open the door for me, "I'd rather take care of her."
We fell in line. Hindi ko alam ang pipiliin kong kainin kasi first time ko dito. It
wasn't a fast food restaurant. Mukhang mahal yung mga price ng food, not that
expensive naman pero not that cheap either.
I looked around. 'Di rin ganun kadami ang mga tao. Sakto lang. At least, walang
chance na makita ko yung schoolmates ko. I was fed up with school at the moment.
I let Oliver choose the food. He ordered some lasagna and a large pizza. After
that, we chose a table sa may window. In no time, dumating na yung food.
"Lan."
"Smile."
Ako naman si gaga, ngumiti kahit walang idea kung anong meron.
*click*
I shrugged and started eating. Naisip ko yung sinabi niya kanina about preferring
to take care of a girl than being taken care of. Sa totoo lang, it sounded too good
to be true.
"You guys are too good to be true," I stated out what was on my mind.
"Akala mo lang yun." He shook his head and took a bite of the pizza.
"Hindi kaya," I couldn't help but say kahit na may pagkain pa 'ko sa bibig.
"Normal guys lang din kami. We drink. We've tried smoking weed. We get horny. We
watch porn. We crave for sex. We'd rather play video games than go on a date. We
make mistakes and mess things up. We have flaws, too."
Hindi ako sumagot. Sumubo ako ng lasagna while thinking about what he said - and
admitted. I wasn't surprised.
"Nasasabi mo lang yan kasi Zeo and I know how to treat girls properly," he added.
"At least, we try our best to."
"Yun na nga e," I countered. "Not many guys are like that nowadays, especially guys
with your looks." Ang mga gwapo ngayon, either bakla or playboy. Sad, diba?
"Girls aren't looking in the right place kasi," he said disapprovingly. "Kaya nga a
lot of girls get heartbroken madalas kasi they get tired of waiting, so they settle
for less. Result? They think guys like me and Zeo are some sort of endangered
species. When really, that's not the case."
Okay, napapaisip ako dun. Medyo speechless din ako. Every time na our opinions were
involved, lumalabas ang pagka talktative ni Oliver. I-add mo pa na may sense yung
mga sinasabi niya.
"Heto nalang, try looking around you," he suggested as he put a slice of pizza on
my plate. "Observe."
"Kadalasan kasi, sa simula lang ideal yung lalaki," sabi ko, which was the truth
naman talaga. "Kapag sila na, guys change."
"Break up, then," he said as if it was the easiest thing to do in the world. "He's
not the guy she said 'yes' to. Why put up with him?"
"No, girls should wait for someone who'll treat them right all the time."
Hmm. Tama siya. I'm reminded of why I loved talking to Oliver. May natututunan ako
sa kanya e. Tsaka, nakaka-refresh isipin ang mga bagay from his point. He could
make you think about some things differently.
Kaya madami ding nagkakagusto dito sa taong 'to e - like yung girl kanina. She
seemed cool and collected. Pero I saw right through it. Alam ko yung ganung
expression niya, na aakalain mong poker face pero self-conscious din naman. Ganun
din kasi ako e.
Biglang tumahimik yung buong place. Tahimik na naman before, pero this time it got
eerie quiet. Something wasn't right.
I turned around so fast that for a moment akala ko may super speed ako. And there
he was, wearing a crooked smile as if walang masasamang looks directed his way.
Shiz. Siya ang dahilan kung bakit hindi champions ang Silvestre University. Anong
pumasok sa kumag na 'to at nagpunta siya dito? Is he out of his mind?
Zeo then sat on the vacant chair, facing the window. He took the last piece of
pizza and began eating. He looked so at ease na parang walang mali sa mundo.
Na-miss ko siya ng bongga. Seeing him in person like this makes the butterflies go
crazy in my stomach. Gusto kong halikan yung buong mukha niya, pero nakakahiya.
Tsaka, baka isipin nitong kumag na 'to na masyado akong obsessed sa kanya.
I didn't deny it. "Mas na-miss ko si Ollie, though," asar ko, grinning.
He laughed. "Ditto."
"I can't take the pressure ng pinagaagawan," Oliver said, mocking a look of stress.
He turned to Zeo and patted him on the shoulder. "I don't know how you do it."
"With your picture, Simba," added Zeo, before taking a sip from my glass of Coke.
Psh. Kaya pala. Contact photo daw. Gusto lang niyang asarin si Zeo e.
Zeo glanced at me. When our eyes made contact, his lips stretched into that uber
sexy smile again. "Inspired e."
Pinigilan kong ngumiti. As in, pigil na pigil. Kaya I just rolled my eyes at him to
cover for the smile daring to show.
"How're you guys?" tanong ni Oliver, with a voice na nangaasar. "I bet you have
plenty of alone times without me."
"She's turned into a pervert," sagot agad ni Zeo with a huge grin.
Napanganga ako sa sinabi niya. Oh, my God. Ang kapal ng mukha niya. Okay, totoo nga
yung sinabi niya. Pero still, ang kapal pa rin ng mukha niya!
"Mataray pa rin siya at times," considered Zeo, thinking about it. As his eyes
landed on me, a crooked smile creeped its way to his lips. "I managed to tame her a
bit, though."
Hindi ako nakapagsalita. I felt na nag-init yung cheeks ko. For sure, namumula na
yung mga yun. Pero nakaya ko namang i-maintain yung poker face ko.
"That's not news," smirked Zeo. "Oliver knows that whenever I talk about you."
I blinked. What?
Lumingon ako kay Oliver. Tumango lang siya with that meaningful smile.
Holy shiz. Feeling ko yung mga butterflies na nasa stomach ko ay naging mga dragon
na. Nagwawala sila sa sobrang kilig.
"Anyway, kailan kayo free?" Oliver asked us, mukhang nagpipigil din ng tawa. "Gusto
kayong ma-meet ni Audrey."
"What, like a double date?" replied Zeo, raising an eyebrow. "Akala ko ba things
didn't work out sa inyo?"
Madalas siguro mag-usap 'tong dalawa. Updated si Zeo e. Pero anyway, medyo natuwa
ako sa idea ng double date. Cheesy, pero parang ang cute kung iisipin. Depende din
siguro sa mga kasama.
"'Di nga," sagot ni Oliver kay Zeo. "She just wants to hang out before she leaves."
Sa Saturday sana kaso may lakad kami nila Cass and Kylee. Magce-celebrate kami ng
pag-survive namin from the Hell Week.
"Going to Greece with the fam for the holidays," he explained, grinning.
Wow. Sosyaaaaal.
Zeo nodded.
Napatingin kami ni Zeo sa kanya. We didn't have to say anything. I knew we both
agreed. Sobrang nakaka-miss nga talaga.
Times like these with them made my life much brighter. Parang kahit walang sense
yung pinaguusapan, the company itself could make such a difference? Ang sarap
talaga sa feeling ng moments na ganito namin.
Kaso, biglang nagbago yung expression ng mukha ni Oliver. He turned very serious.
Parang may nakita siyang nakapagpasira ng araw niya. Sinundan namin ni Zeo yung
direction where Oliver was looking at.
My eyes widened.
Ayokong magkaron ng brawl dito. Alanganin si Zeo, nagiisa lang siya. Baka ma-
suspend din si Oliver. Mahirap na.
"They won't easily allow that," muttered Oliver, looking extremely displeased.
Fudge. Oo nga. Knowing Calvin, hindi nga niya kami papaalisin without having a say.
Lalo na't panigurado, tingin niya naghahanap si Zeo ng away by coming here.
"Lakas ng loob mo, Alcante," said Calvin when he got near our table.
The whole place grew quiet, nagaabang ng mangyayari. Calvin wasn't alone. He had
his usual tropa with him. Napansin kong they were throwing uneasy looks toward
Oliver.
"At least, walang vag!na," smirked Zeo, taking a sip from my Coke and not bothering
to get up from his seat to face Calvin.
Ngingiti na sana ko sa sinabi niya if it weren't for the fact na nakita kong walang
natatawa. Wow. It was this serious, huh? Parang nung first time ko lang ma-meet
sina Oliver at Zeo. Grabe yung tension between them.
This time, mas malala kasi kakapanalo lang nila Zeo nung UAAP.
"May kailangan pa ba 'kong patunayan?" chuckled Zeo as if it was the most amusing
thing na narinig niya. "I already beat your asses."
Tumingin ako sa paligid. Marami ngang hindi natutuwa. Patay. Paano kami makakaalis
sa lugar na 'to without a scratch?
Nagkaroon ako ng urge na batukan si Zeo. Lalong lalala yung situation namin sa mga
sagot niya e. Parang wala talagang kinakatakutan. Then again, dati na siyang
ganyan.
"You don't fvcking say that here," growled Calvin, through gritted teeth.
Zeo finally stood up and faced Calvin. Mufasa was taller. Hindi ko napansin nung
last time na nasa Largo Ave kami. Gabi din kasi nun. Medyo distracted din ako sa
realization na nagkaka-crush ako kay Zeo that time.
"I just did," shrugged Zeo, smiling like everything was dandy. "What are you gonna
do about it? Bugbugin ako like a bunch of scoundrels? Oh, wait." He paused and
pretended to remember something. "You only do that to girls, don't you?"
I stiffened in my seat. Holy shiz. Binanggit talaga ni Zeo. Not specifically, pero
duh. Obvious naman sa mga nakakaalam e.
"She told you," seryosong sinabi ni Calvin, pagbalik ng tingin niya kay Zeo. He
didn't sound angry. He was just stating out the facts.
"She didn't have to," piped up Oliver, getting up from his seat.
Napaatras yung ibang kasama ni Calvin, making me tilt my head a little. Just what
is Oliver's reputation dito sa Silvestre? At least, sa mga dati niyang teammates?
"We figured it out," continued Oliver. "I already got a hunch from that night when
those Soledarians attacked us in Haut."
Aba, ang sarap kutusin nitong walang kwentang garapata na 'to ah. How dare he para
pagsalitaan ang pinsan ko ng ganun ganun nalang?
"Warfreak or not," singit ko, "he wasn't the one who ended up with a broken nose."
Calvin glanced at me for a second, pero tumingin ulit siya kay Oliver.
"You run with a Soledarian, Oliver," he stated na parang hindi ako nagsalita.
Sobrang over na sana kung maka-asta sila e. Kaso seryoso yung mga expression ng
mukha nila. Atsaka, I knew talaga na grabe ang rivalry between the two
universities. Something like this wasn't unusual, just occasional.
"I used to," replied Oliver. "But then I quit the team, got rid of them."
Hindi naman bobo si Calvin para hindi niya ma-gets yung ibig sabihin ni Oliver. It
was written all over his face naman na naintindihan niya.
Hindi nakapagsalita si Calvin sa sobrang galit niya. Pero for some reason, wala
siyang magawa kay Oliver. Halata namang gusto na niyang sunggaban. Something was
preventing him from doing so.
Hindi gumalaw si Calvin. Nagtinginan yung mga kasama niya. Tumango sila kay Oliver,
while hinihila si Calvin paatras para makadaan kami.
Yes! Makakaalis na din kami dito. 'Di ko na kaya ang tension. Magkakasakit ako sa
puso sa sobrang kaba at pag-worry.
"They don't have the balls," said Oliver, looking straight sa ex-teammates niya.
"Remember what I said about how much you Soledarians are talkers?"
Ako, I remember. Oliver said it on the first day na magkakila-kilala kami. And I
thought wala kaming pag-asa na maging friends. Tapos, ngayon best friends na kaming
tatlo.
"Ganun din some of us Silvestrians," admitted Oliver. Tumingin siya kay Zeo,
ngumiti na parang nangaasar, and added, "Not as big-headed as you, though."
Gusto ko nang umalis dito. Baka kung ano pang gawin ni Calvin. I've never seen him
na natameme ng ganun. Well, napahiya na rin siya sa witty mouth ni Zeo. Pero yung
tipong hindi man lang siya makaporma ng suntok kay Oliver? Never seen that before.
"That was fun," sabi ko, after namin makalayo dun sa restaurant.
"Ang gago ng ex mo, Simba," chuckled Zeo, sabay akbay sa'kin. "He's playing the
villain role too seriously."
Wala na. Nasira na ang araw ko dahil kay Calvin. Badtrip talaga. Nakakainis. Ang
saya saya na kanina e. Bakit pa kasi dumating yun? Panira ng mood.
Na-touch naman ako kasi they tried to cheer me up when sila nga yung muntik nang
mapasubo sa away kanina. Swerte ko talaga to have friends like them.
I need a car.
Naisip ko 'to pagkasakay na pagkasakay ko sa sasakyan ni Zeo. Hindi pwedeng parati
nalang nila ako sinusundo mula sa bahay. Unang una, malayo. Pangalawa, hindi ko
gusto yung feeling na parang nagiging dependent ako sa kanila ni Oliver or kung
sino man ang may kotse na kakilala ko.
Alam ko na! I'll ask for that as a graduation gift from Mommy and Daddy nalang!
Okay lang kahit hindi na magpa-party. Family dinner lang, keri na.
"Uwian ba talaga tayo?" I asked Zeo, when we passed a toll gate.
"Looks like it," he shrugged.
I raised an eyebrow. "Kaya mo?"
Dalawang lugar pupuntahan namin ngayon. At hindi lang sight-seeing ang gagawin
namin. Talagang outdoorsy activities kami the whole day. Dora the Explorer ang peg.
"Oo naman," he snorted. "'Sides, switch nalang kami ni Ollie."
May point siya.
Shucks. Mami-meet ko na si Audrey, ang tinaguriang first love ni Oliver. I have no
idea kung anong klaseng babae siya. 'Di ba naman ako binigyan ng description nung
chinitong yun. Hindi ako prepared.
Zeo's phone rang. Since traffic naman, sinagot niya.
"Yeah, bro?"
For sure, si Oliver kausap nito.
"MOA? . . . Where? . . . Ah, dun . . . Nah, it's cool . . . A'ight, see you there."
I looked expectantly at Zeo.
"Meet up nalang daw tayo sa McD's," he informed me, putting his phone back between
us on the holder.
Wow. Sosyaaal. McD's na ngayon ang McDo.
Tumingin ako kay Zeo, and said, "Madaming McDo sa Pilipinas."
He rolled his eyes and grinned. "The one along Macapagal."
"Yan. Dapat kasi nililinaw."
"Sometimes kasi, wala nang thrill kapag masyadong malinaw. Some things must be left
to imagination. Para hindi 'in your face' ang approach."
"Hashtag hugot."
He burst out laughing, making me smile.
Soon enough, dumating na kami sa McDo. Guess what?
Ang. Daming. Tao.
Shiz naman oh. Gutom na gutom na 'ko! Ang aga-aga pa, bakit ang dami nang tao dito?
Anong meron?
I looked around and saw DFA (Department of Foreign Affairs) across the street. I
let out a sigh. Kaya naman pala e. No wonder.
Tumingin ako kay Zeo, pouting kasi I'm starving to death and I'm close to crying.
Ganto talaga kapag gutom, lumalabas ang vulnerable side. Parang may period ako, sa
totoo lang.
Zeo reached out his hand and pushed a strand of hair away from my face, placing it
behind my ear. His thumb caressed my cheek, then he seemed as if he was hesitating
on something. Without warning, he leaned close and pecked my nose.
I blinked, taken aback.
"What was that for?" I asked, feeling my cheeks heat up.
"Distracting you," he grinned.
Oh. Napatitig ako sa dimples niya for a moment, enchanted. Damn. Ang galing niyang
mang-distract talaga kahit kailan. Snapping out of it, I shook my head.
I sighed, placing a hand against my tummy as I looked around the place. Kahit saan
ako tumingin, walang vacant table. Ayoko naman sa labas. Grahobe ang init dun, dre.
"Take-out nalang tayo, you want?"
I bit my lip. "Pano ka kakain, e nagda-drive ka?"
"Ollie will feed me," he replied, amused.
Edi wow. 'Di man lang niya ko na-consider as an option. Grabe. The force of
bromance is too strong!
"Sakto, they're here," said Zeo, nodding behind me.
I turned around and laid eyes on the girl who I bet was Audrey.
She had shoulder length hair, and she wore glasses. A bit short sa height, pero
cute and petite ang dating. She was wearing a grey poncho over a black sando and
denim shorts, tas limited edition Taylor Swift Keds.
Taylor Swift. Huh. Magakaksundo sila ni Kylee.
"Hiyah!" she beamed, when she and Oliver neared.
Hala. Ang cute niyaaa.
"This is Audrey," introduced Oliver, scratching his head as if nahihiya siya. Aw.
Audrey waved at us with a toothy smile. "Auds, these are Zeo and Lana."
"Hey," nodded Zeo.
"H - Hi," I stammered, medyo na blown away e.
I mean, oo nga. Obvious naman na I couldn't expect any less from Oliver's first
love. Hello, si Ollie yan e. Pero still, hindi ko ine-expect na magiging super cute
yung girl. Alam yun, parang natural na sa kanya maging cute kahit wala siyang
ginagawa?
"Keys, bro," Oliver told Zeo. "Load ko lang yung gamit namin sa Benz mo."
"Pano kayo nagpunta dito?" tanong ko.
Supposedly kasi, susunduin namin sila.
"Cab," he simply said.
Hindi ko siya ma-imagine na sumakay ng taxi. Ang weird!
"Here." Zeo threw the keys to Oliver, which he easily caught. "Order mo?"
"The usual."
Mufasa saluted. "Got it."
"Wait," sabi ko. "Ikaw, Audrey?"
She smiled at me. "Quarter pounder, large fries, and apple pie."
Not bad. Malakas siya kumain. Magkakasundo kami.
I gave her a thumbs up. I also caught Oliver smile a little.
"C'mon, Auds," he called her.
She waved a hand at us as he almost dragged her out of the joint, habang pumila na
kami ni Zeo. We stared at the exit for a moment, bago humarap na kami sa counter.
"Holy shiz! Ang cute niya!" I gushed. "Gusto ko siyang i-uwi!"
"Where will you hide her naman?" chuckled Zeo.
"Car mo. Duh."
He shook his head in amusement, then he had a thoughtful look on his face as if he
just figured something out.
"Nerd pala type ni Ollie," he mumbled.
I playfully slapped his arm. "Hey! Malay mo naman malabo lang talaga mata niya." I
tsked. "Ang judgmental mo."
"Ganun talaga," he sighed, feigning sadness. "Minsan, we become judgmental kasi
nasaktan na tayo before."
"Kailangan pa rin natin magbigay ng benefit of the doubt. Kasi wala tayong malay,
pinapakawalan na pala natin yung destined para sa'tin."
"It's hard to mend a broken heart."
"But it's worth a shot to try and love again."
"Mahirap magmahal kapag nasaktan na."
Nagtinginan kami, trying to keep our straight faces still. I covered my mouth to
keep myself from laughing. He pressed his lips together and looked away, letting
out a chuckle disguised as a cough.
"Oi, tumawa ka!" I accused him. "Talo ka na," I added, laughing.
"Nobody said it was a contest."
"'Di pa rin kayo nakaka-order?" asked Oliver, when he arrived with Audrey.
"Si Zeo kasi," sabi ko, sabay turo sa kumag. "Lakas maka-hugot."
"It's not my fault," denied Zeo. "May line oh."
"Wala nang vacant table?" tanong ni Audrey.
Zeo and I shook our heads.
Tumingin sa paligid si Audrey. Tapos sa may glass window, may table for six na
nililinis nung staff. Kaso, may batang lalaki nang nakaupo. Lumapit pa rin si
Audrey.
"Excuse me, kid," she smiled. "May kasama ka?"
Lumingon yung bata sa kitchen staff na dumaan, then shook his head when he looked
back at her. Hmm. Staff siguro yung kasama niya.
"Pwede kaming umupo?"
Tumango yung bata. Yes! Ngumiti sa'min si Audrey.
Zeo gave a thumbs up. I clapped, impressed. Oliver just smiled.
"Why the hell didn't you bring trunks?" demanded Zeo, when we were settled and
about to eat na.
"I wasn't sure kung serious kayo about swimming," shrugged Oliver.
Binato ko siya ng crumpled tissue. "In case nga, diba?"
"I brought a swimsuit," piped in Audrey innocently.
"See?" I said. "Buti pa si Audrey."
"Edi I won't swim," replied Oliver nonchalantly, after taking a sip from his soda.
"No big deal. Ako nalang watch-out for our things. Problem solved."
Zeo shook his head in disagreement. He swallowed what he was chewing, then said,
"No way. You're gonna swim. Just buy what you need there. Madami sa Subic, bro."
Oliver let out a breath. "Fine."
Zeo and I grinned at each other, tas nag-apir kami triumphantly.
"Oo nga pala," I mentioned. "Alam niyo ba papunta sa Sandbox?"
Excited na talaga ko. Yung Sandbox kasi sa Porac, Pampanga parang playground for
adults. Literally in the middle of the desert. Astig, diba?
Ang plano, after namin sa Sandbox, diretso kami sa Subic para kumain. After nun,
mag-swimming sa beach. Talagang susulitin naming ang araw na 'to.
Nakaka-excite talaga! Woohoo!
"Waze," sabay na sagot nina Zeo at Oliver.
"Magaling," I nodded sarcastically.
Audrey giggled, making me glance at her.
"Iitim tayo," I warned her. Baka kasi manghinayang siya sa kutis niyang pang-
mayaman. Mabuti nang alam niya ang pinapasok niya.
She grinned at me. "Exactly."
Ooh. Hindi siya maarte.
I'm really starting to like her.
***
"Ollie, take over sa music please."
Hindi ko feel yung pinapatugtog ni Zeo. I want something with road trip feels. Chug
chug with lights yung peg niya ngayon e. Hindi bagay.
"Ouch," cried Zeo, from the driver's seat.
Oliver chuckled and leaned over from the passenger's seat to plug in his phone.
Soon enough, American Authors were playing. Indie rock. Ahh, now that was more like
it.
Sumandal ako sa likod and looked out the window to the clouds in the sky, nag
senti-sentihan habang nakikinig sa kanta. Parang music video lang.
Nasa NLEX na kami, sa wakas. Na-survive namin ang traffic ng EDSA.
I closed my eyes.
This is life.
Without meaning to, I fell asleep.
I woke when a warm hand was gently shaking my arm. Pag-dilat ko, nakita ko si
Audrey. She smiled and waved a hand. I blinked and straightened up.
"We're here," she said.
Tumingin ako sa paligid. Nasa parking lot na kami, in the middle of nowhere. I'm
not even kidding. From afar, kitang kita yung mga bundok. Pero before that, miles
of sand.
"You awake, Simba?" called Zeo, looking through his rearview mirror.
"Yeah," sabi ko, gathering my stuff.
"Mukhang mainit," commented Audrey.
Binuksan ko yung car door, then lumingon ako sa kanya.
"Yep," I confirmed.
I jumped out of the SUV and pulled off my plaid shirt. Dahil sa taas ng araw, I was
pretty sure mangingitim ko kahit konti. Mabuti nang naka white sando lang ako para
pantay yung tan sa arms ko para hindi naman masagwa sa future.
I looked down. Naka cut-off shorts ako and black sneakers. Ayos na 'to. Kinuha ko
yung classic Ray Ban ko and wore it. Done.
I closed the door and tinignan ko sila kung ready na. Zeo pressed the locks on his
car key as he walked towards me. He flashed his uber sexy smile at me, looking so
cool with his shades on. Naka white-grey stripes sando and khaki shorts siya, with
black Janoski shoes.
Natawa ako ng konti. Typical rick kid look. Pero ang lakas pa rin ng dating. Iba
talaga 'to magdala ng damit.
"Finished checking me out?" he teased.
I rolled my eyes and turned my back on him, making him laugh. He put an arm around
me as we caught up with Oliver and Audrey.
Ang tibay ni Oliver, naka blue shirt and jeans pa rin siya. Akala mo, pupunta lang
sa mall e. Samantalang si Audrey, inalis na yung poncho niya. Then again, wala nga
palang pang-palit si Oliver na dinala.
Naglakad kaming apat papunta sa entrance. When we passed by the huge life-sized
sign na 'SANDBOX', syempre we stopped to take a few pictures.
"Wait," stopped Oliver, "kunin ko lang yung camera ko."
Kinuha niya yung keys from Zeo and ran to the parking lot. Medyo malayo. In the
meantime, umakyat kami sa ibabaw ng letters at pumesto na kami nina Zeo at Audrey.
After a couple of minutes, hindi pa rin nakakabalik si Oliver. Nararamdaman na
namin ang matinding sinag ng araw. At grabe, masakit na sa balat ha.
"Ollie! Hurry the fuck up!" sigaw ni Zeo, with a playful tone pa rin naman.
"Nasusunog na kami, Ollie!" I yelled. "Maawa ka!"
"Namumula na kami dito, dude! I thought you're Blue Blur! Faker!"
"Poser!"
"Phony!"
"Impostor!"
"Hypocrite!"
"Deceiver!"
"Fraud!"
I opened my mouth to say something, kaso napatigil ako.
"Naubusan na 'ko ng synonym, Ollie! Wala ka pa rin!"
Zeo and Audrey laughed.
"Feeling ko kinukuha na 'ko ni Lord!" I whined really loud. Ang init kasi. Feeling
ko talaga nasusunog yung balat ko.
"Take me, Lord!" added Audrey suddenly.
Napatingin kami bigla ni Zeo sa kanya, our eyes wide. Audrey smiled sheepishly and
made a peace sign. The three of us burst out laughing.
As if on cue, dumating na si Oliver (thank goodness). He ran to us while he carried
his SLR camera. Kinausap na rin niya yung guard, if okay lang na magpa-picture
kami.
"Ang ingay niyo," sabi ni Oliver sa'min, paglapit niya.
Zeo helped him climb up the letters. Nasa gitna nila kong dalawa, while si Audrey
katabi ni Oliver on the other side.
"Narinig mo kami?" I chuckled.
"Oo. Crazy peeps."
We all laughed at that.
After ng picture-taking, pumasok na kami. We filled up some forms (medyo madami)
and paid our entrance fees, pati na rin yung package na pinili namin.
Ang laki nung place! Sandbox talaga. Ang cool. Hindi mapakali yung mga mata ko. May
Archery, Roller Coaster Zipline, Wall-climbing, Free Fall, Giant Swing, Mini Golf,
atsaka yung Aerial Walk. Gusto kong i-try lahat!
We tried the zipline first. Nung una, medyo nakaka-excite pa. Pero habang umaakyat
kami sa stairs, nari-realize namin kung gaano pala kataas yung ride na 'to.
Audrey and I exchanged nervous looks. Dahil takot kami, pinauna na muna namin yung
boys. Obvious na nag-enjoy sila. Mukhang ang saya-saya pa nila. Nakaka-encourage
kaya ako na sumunod na mag-try. Pero nalinlang ako.
I screamed bloody murder, shrieking like a mother-effing biik.
Walang poise. Hindi graceful at all. Hindi rin cool e. As in, sigaw ng
nakakarinding biik na kakatayin na para gawin lechon. Yun ang sigaw ko.
Halos hindi ako makalakad pagtapos, sa sobrang nginig ng tuhod ko. Yung pagbagsak
kasi yung nakakagulat e. Aakalain mo talagang mahuhulog ka.
Nung lumapit sakin yung Manila boys to check on me, sinuntok ko sila sa braso. They
yelped, but laughed nonetheless.
Audrey was another story. It took her twenty minutes before having the courage to
get the ride over with. Natakot ata sa mga sigaw ko. Oliver had to go up and ride
the zipline again to show her na hindi naman talaga totally nakakatakot.
Tawa kami ng tawa ni Zeo kasi before Oliver went up, sinabit ni Audrey yung legs
niya around a staff sa sobrang takot niyang tumuloy.
Tapos namin dun, we went to the archery! Katniss Everdeen ang peg ko ha. In
fairness, um-effect ata kasi halos lahat ng tira ko, pasok sa circle. Bwahaha!
Zeo and Audrey sucked on that one, while Oliver was the best amongst us. Sabi niya,
kakalaro lang daw siguro niya ng darts. Tas pabirong inaasar ako ni Zeo na
beginner's luck lang daw yung akin. Tse.
Dapat ita-try pa namin yung Aerial Walk, kaso sumakto na tanghali na. Gustong gusto
ko pa talaga. Kaya lang kasi, bukod sa napaka taas na ng araw, hinahabol na kami ng
gutom. Ayun, nag Giant Swing nalang yung boys for the finale while Audrey and I sat
that one out. Okay na kami dun sa nakakalokong zipline. 'Di na namin kaya.
"KJ!" yelled Zeo to us.
"Kuya, yung pinaka-mataas po ah," I whispered to the staff.
I heard Audrey giggle. Ngumiti lang si Kuya pero napansin kong he did what I asked.
"Salamat po!" I grinned.
"Woohoo! Let's do this!"
"'Wag kang sumigaw sa tenga ko."
"Gusto ko e."
"Bingi na 'ko tapos nito."
"Yeah! Ang taas! Sayaaa!"
"Masyado nang mataas, bro."
"Hindi pa ah. Higher po!"
"No! Okay na 'to!"
"Higheee - Ay, Kuya! Tama na!"
Audrey and I slapped each other from laughing too much.
"They can't hear us."
"Shit. It's too high. Ayoko na."
"Too late to back out, Zeo."
"Shut up, Ollie."
Silence.
Then, boom.
"AAAAAHHHWWWOOOOOHHHOOOHAHAHA!!"
Nagtinginan kami ni Audrey. And we laughed our asses off.
***
Natatawa na naman ako.
Every time maaalala ko mga pinaggagawa namin kanina, I'd burst out laughing. 'Di
maka get over e. Sobrang maloko pero sobrang saya. Just what I needed after a few
weeks of nonstop school work. Nakaka-refresh!
Heto pa. Biruin mo ba naman, tumigil kami ni the middle of SCTEX just to take a
picture sa gitna ng daan. Buwis buhay. Trip ng isa, trip ng lahat. Ang pinaka
masaya kasi, lahat kami go lang - kahit si Oliver na may pagka serious minsan.
Just now, we finished eating at a famous steakhouse in town. Nasa Royal Duty Free
na kami, shopping for essentials and Oliver's swimming trunks.
Nahiwalay kami ni Audrey from the boys. They went on to the clothes section, while
tengga kaming girls sa toys section.
"Wow! I want that!" she exclaimed, sabay takbo sa Spongebob-themed waterguns na
naka-display sa may center isle.
"Cute," I agreed, studying the odd-looking watergun. Blue and yellow, very simple
yung design. I took one and examined it, stretching it and got shocked. Madami-
daming tubig yung kaya niyang i-shoot. Ayos.
"Bili tayo," yaya ni Audrey, kitang kita ang pagiging excited niya.
Ang cute niya talaga. Sabi ni Oliver, ayaw niya sa mga sweet girls. Pero bakit
ganun, sa nakikita ko kay Audrey, parang medyo ganun siya?
"Tapos ambush natin yung boys mamaya sa beach!"
Of course, maloko din.
I thought about it. "Parang mas masaya kung bibili rin sila," I said, grinning
evilly. "Para full on war tayo later."
"Ooh, that sounds better." She raised an eyebrow and put a hand below her chin as
if she was stroking an invisible beard.
I laughed at her silly face. Oliver was right. She was cool.
"Game?"
She nodded. "Game!"
We high fived each other and bought four waterguns.
After namin sa Royal Duty Free, dumiretso na agad kami sa Camayan Beach Resort. It
was getting late in the afternoon na rin kasi. Natagalan kami sa pag-kain namin
kanina, lamon ba naman ang ginawa namin. Nahirapan lang ng konti sa daan, lubak-
lubak kasi e.
"Yan ang mahirap sa road na 'to e," began Zeo, sighing, "kailangan mong mangapa."
Here we go again. "Pero hindi ka lang dapat mangapa," I added seriously, "kailangan
mo ding iwasan yung mga lubak."
"May mga bagay talaga na kailangan mong iwasan," biglang sabi ni Oliver. "Baka kasi
may dumating na mas para sayo."
I bit my lip, pinigilan kong tumawa. Shucks. Iba talagang bumanat si Oliver.
"Ayan!" exclaimed Zeo. "The road's smooth again - Ay, 'di pa pala."
"Akala mo okay na, hindi pa pala."
Napatingin kami saglit kay Audrey. Bumanat din siya! Because of that, we all burst
out laughing. Pero behind the laughs, all of us knew there was some truth to the
statement. Hindi nalang namin pinansin.
Pagkadating namin sa resort, literal na nagtakbuhan kami papunta sa beach. Syempre,
nagbayad muna kami ng entrance, pati na rin yung cottage na gagamitin namin.
Hanggang 10pm pala yung use ng cottage pati yung beach. Awesome~!
We wasted no time. Nagpalit agad kami into our swimsuits. Mga sabik sa dagat.
Medyo madami ding tao. Holidays na rin naman kasi. Na-conscious pa nga ako e. Hindi
na talaga maiiwasan yun kapag nasa beach. Pero you know the weirdest part?
The moment we set foot in the sea, I didn't care anymore. The people around me
ceased to exist. I only saw the three people I was here with. Bakit? Kasi they were
pointing her water guns at me!
"It's on like Donkey Kong!" I war-cried.
Pinuno ko agad yung water gun ko, and quickly pointed at the boys. When I felt
someone hitting me from the back, I turned around. It was Audrey!
"Audrey, magkakampi tayo!" I told her, pulling up my arm to shield my face.
"Ay, sorry! My eyes were closed!" she apologized.
I inwardly facepalmed, then I heard Zeo and Oliver laughing.
Game on, bitches!
I loaded my gun before turning around and pointing to Oliver muna. Hindi ko
tinaasan yung water gun sa tubig para madali mag-load. The key is to hit the target
while they were still loading their guns. And that's exactly what I did.
Natamaan si Oliver sa mukha, making me laugh out loud - like, really loud.
"HAHAHA! HEADSHOT!"
Kaso sa kaka-celebrate ko, hindi ko namalayan si Zeo. He hit me right in the mouth.
I almost choked. Tinawanan lang ako ng walang hiyang kumag. Yung super lakas na
tawa pa, tipong abot hanggang kabilang island.
"You'll pay for that, Mufasa," sabi ko venomously.
He smirked. "Come at me, babe."
And so, the war went on. Tawa lang kami ng tawa, wapakels sa paligid namin. For
sure, may mga namukhaan si Zeo. Hindi lang sila makalapit kasi ayaw nilang i-
interrupt yung saya namin. Kung pwede nga lang may mag-picture samin e. Sobrang
cool siguro ng kalalabasan ng photo - with matching #SquadGoals.
Eventually, we called truce. Napagod din kami, kaya nag-chill nalang kami sa dagat.
"How'd you guys meet?" I asked Audrey, nodding to Oliver.
Lumingon siya kay Oliver and smiled. When she turned back to me, she answered, "We
were high school classmates."
"'Di ko ma-imagine si Ollie na nanliligaw," I admitted, chuckling.
She giggled and opened her mouth.
"Auds, don't," pleaded Oliver.
"He was shy," sinabi pa rin ni Audrey. Good girl! "He didn't speak up much, but he
gave me lots of gifts. Tapos, he'd open the door for me, carry my things - you
know, that sort of stuff. Even when we were together, he'd still do it. He's the
sweetest."
Oliver snorted, but didn't say anything.
"Mushy Ollie," chuckled Zeo.
Natawa na rin ako.
"Kanina pa sila dun," pouted Audrey, pointing to the floating raft thirty feet from
us.
May group of people na kanina pa tambay dun. Ayun, wala tuloy makalapit na ibang
tao. Palubog na rin yung araw, hindi pa sila umaalis.
"Tara," yaya ni Zeo, with an evil smile. "Let's attack them with our water guns."
"Lalapit tayo tas nasa ilalim ng tubig yung water guns," I cottoned on. "When we're
near enough, paawa effect kung pwedeng makiupo dun."
"Then, bam! We pull out our guns and splash them! Pew pew!"
"Sheerk sheerk!"
I comically demonstrated with Zeo, causing for Oliver and Audrey to laugh.
"Uy, teka," I said, looking at the raft. "Nakaramdam ata."
Yung group of people na kanina pa nakatambay dun, isa-isang umaalis. The four of us
exchanged looks for a couple of seconds. Quickly, we swam towards the floating raft
bago pa kami maunahan. Sakto, solo na namin. Yes!
When we're settled, we looked around. The sun was only just setting, as if it
waited until nasa perfect place na kami to watch it work its beautiful and colorful
magic.
We watched in silence.
Today was absolutely fun. Sobra-sobra. Everybody was cool and happy to be with. It
was always good to be with genuine people. They were natural, walang bahid ng
kaartehan. Walang bad vibes. Chill lang, pero adventurous pa rin.
When the sun was gone, I leaned my back on the raft and stared at the night sky.
The stars were coming out na. Without word, the others followed suit.
No one said anything.
We let the waves rock our bodies.
We let the moon shine on us.
We let nature do the talking.
I raised a hand in front of me, reaching for the stars. I wondered about the
universe. I wondered how many galaxies there were. I wondered if the other species
thought about the humans, too.
If there was a parallel world out there, friends pa rin kaya kaming tatlo? Would
Oliver choose to fight and still be with his first love? Would Zeo and I be
officially together?
Would I still be me?
"That's the Orion's Belt, diba?" asked Zeo's voice, bringing me back to reality.
I looked to where he was pointing to.
"I think so," sagot ko.
"Where's the North Star?" tanong naman ni Audrey.
"'Di ko lang alam," I admitted.
"Yun ba?" turo ni Oliver to a random star.
Walang sumagot. Wala sa'min ang nakakaalam e.
"Whatever," said Zeo. "Clap your feet nalang if you had fun today."
Lahat kami, nagtaas ng mga paa and clapped them. We all laughed at our silliness.
"Ang chill lang dito," I breathed out, closing my eyes.
"Yeah," they all sighed in unison.
"Thank you for this day, guys," whispered Audrey.
"Blame our curiosity," replied Zeo lightly. "You know, we couldn't pass up the
chance to meet Oliver's only ex."
I glanced to Zeo beside me and covered my mouth with a hand, muffling my laughter.
I saw Oliver raise a hand to flip the bird, causing Zeo to laugh harder.
Someone whistled from a distance.
Aw. Our time's up.
Bumangon ako and looked around. Maliwanag pa rin ng konti dahil dun sa spotlight
from the safeguard's house. Atsaka, 'di pa ganun kadilim. Kaya naman nakita yung
something not five feet from us.
"Uy! Ano yun? Shark ba yun?!"
Nagtinginan silang lahat dun sa black smooth thingy na tinuturo ko. It's not moving
. . . I think. I hope. I wish!
Zeo patted my head and sighed, "That's a rock."
"Mukhang kalbo," murmured Audrey.
"Kalbong shark?" said Zeo.
At that, naghalakhakan kami.
That's when I realized, this road trip turned into a laugh trip. Sobrang saya. No
dull moments with these people. I'm so lucky to have met them, even Audrey. She's
cool. I honestly like her. Sayang, babalik na siya sa abroad. At least, we got a
chance to bond.
May mailalagay na naman ako sa treasured memory chest ko.
2013 is such an awesome year.
At twitter . . .
@TheZeoAlcante: #TeamKalbongShark
_____________
SA WAKAAAAAS! << Yan sinisigaw niyo sa isip niyo noh? Hahaha!
Heto na. Advanced pa-birthday ko sa inyo (a year older na ko sa 7th. Huhu). Kayo,
anong pa-birthday niyo sakin? HAHA! JK.
Ngayon, di ko na talaga iu-upload ang Epilogue. Na-meet pa naman na ni Lana yung
mommy and lolo ni Zeo dun. Bwahaha~! Mababasa niyo ang epilogue sa... >:)
WARNING: Btw, barely edited to. 6:30am na. Kaya check ko uli pagkagising ko tapos
revise revise nalang pag may nakita akong mali or feel kong palitan. Gusto ko lang
kasi na mabasa niyo na. Ganyan ko kayo kamahal. Chika. Hahahaha!
_____________
Kakatapos lang ng Noche Buena a couple of hours ago. Buong clan ng father's side ko
nasa bahay nina Lolo at Lola sa Supremo Heights na nasa Tagaytay din naman. Dun
kaming lahat mag-stay hanggang sa Media Noche. Mala-mansion din naman yung bahay
nila kaya kasya kaming lahat.
And yes, nandito din si daddy kasama ang new family niya. Medyo awkward, pero dahil
sa 'friendly' skills ko, ayos naman. Mabait naman stepmom ko, sort of. 'Di kasi
kami close kaya wala akong masyadong masabi. Thankfully, wala naman akong step-
siblings. Pero magkakaron na ako ng half-sister soon. Yun ang pinagkakaabalahan
nila ngayon.
Buti nalang wala naman masyadong tinatanong si daddy tungkol sa love life ko. Alam
niya kasing nadala na 'ko sa cheating cheater kong ex-boyfriend. Ha. Kung alam lang
niya kung sino bago kong nilalandi ngayon.
You'd think na tatanggi ako kasi nandito sa Luzon ang daddy ko. Pero kahit naman
nandito si daddy, busy pa rin siya dun sa stepmom ko. I didn't mind. Sanay na 'ko
e.
Kaya syempre, go ako pati si Benjo. Sumama na rin si Tin na younger sister ni
Brent. Dalawang taon lang ang tanda ko kay Tin kaya parang magkasing edad lang din
kami. Same for Brent. Mas matanda lang siya ng dalawang taon sa'min ni Benjo.
Sinama na rin namin yung dalawang nasa puberty days na nila na sina Elmo at Liam.
Yung iba naming pinsan, mga tsikiting palang kaya 'di namin pwedeng isama.
Nag-groan yung dalawang batang lalaki sa likod. Okay, hindi naman na talaga sila
bata. Fourteen yung isa, while fifteen yung isa. Pero parang ganun na rin yun kasi
sila yung pinaka-bata sa sasakyan.
"Nagtatanong lang," said Brent defensively. "Maka-react kayo 'kala niyo dadalhin ko
kayo sa buffet e."
Brent shook his head. "Wala. Ginaganyan niyo na 'ko porke wala sina Kuya Qin."
Ang tinatawag na three musketeers ng pamilya namin ay sina Kuya Al, Kuya Jino, at
Kuya Qin. Sila yung mga basagulero kong pinsan na nagturo kay Benjo at sa iba pa
naming mga pinsan na lalaki na lumaban. Sobrang pasaway ng mga yun na para bang
walang maka-control sa kanila.
Nasaan yung tatlo? Ayun, nasa bahay at nakikiinom sa mga tito namin. Hindi na sila
interesado masyado sa mga joyride tulad nito kasi napagsawaan na nila.
"Try natin yung Starbucks sa may papuntang Picnic Grove," said Benjo.
Ay, gusto ko dun. Maganda yung ambiance ng place. Sa totoo lang, yun na ata ang
pinaka-magandang Starbucks na napuntahan ko.
In no time, nakarating na kami dun. Malapit lang naman e. Kaso, sobrang matirik nga
lang yung pababa papuntang parking lot.
"Pag hindi kayo namatay, ililibre niyo 'ko ng Coffee Jelly na vista ah?" pusta ni
Brent, lumilingon sa rearview mirror. "O, ano?"
Benjo, Tin, and I slowly turned our heads to him. Slowly, para may effect. Tapos
sabay sabay kaming nagtawanan.
"Pano ba yan, edi libre mo sila?" biro ko kay Brent. I glanced behind me, and saw
the two boys grinning hopefully.
"May mga pera naman kayo ah," protested Brent, after turning off the engine.
Nag-cheer kaming lahat. Brent just shook his head, but I caught him smiling.
"Sarado," he announced.
Tumingin ako sa mga tao sa loob. Madami-dami pa naman. Ah, baka inaantay nalang
nilang umalis. Shiz. I'm craving for a frappe pa naman.
"Tinanong ko sa guard kung may bukas pa na Starbucks around Tagaytay," started Tin,
naglalakad papalapit sa'min. "Sila na raw yung pinaka late."
We all walked in silence pabalik sa CR-V. Pagpasok naming lahat, hindi muna
pinaandar ni Brent yung sasakyan. Parang may hinahanap siya sa phone niya.
"Laguna?"
"Oo nga."
"Oo."
"Ano, gusto niyo ba?" tinanong ni Brent kaming mga nasa likod.
Tumango sila.
"Ayos lang yan, cuz," Brent told me. "Ginanyan din naman tayo nila Kuya Al e."
Sa bagay, may point siya dun. Sinasama nila kami dati kung saan saan kahit nasa
early teenage years palang kami. Para daw mamulat na yung mga mata namin at hindi
kami tatanga-tanga sa future.
Okay lang naman sa mga magulang namin. Alam din kasi nila na hindi hahayaan nila
Kuya Qin na may mangyari sa'ming masama. Lalo na si Kuya Al, siya pa naman ang
pinaka matanda sa'ming lahat.
Hindi niya inantay ang reply namin, kusa nalang niyang sinaksak na yung iPhone niya
para ma-connect na sa audio system ng kotse ni Brent.
Yung pinili naming mga kanta after that ay yung mga masasaya din. Sa sobrang saya,
hindi namin namalayan na nasa Nuvali na pala kami.
Wala rin kaming masyadong nakita kasi gabi na, pero halata naman na maganda yung
lugar. Malinis.
Nagpaikot-ikot saglit si Brent, hinahanap yung Starbucks. When we finally found it,
to our dismay, sarado na rin pala.
"'Di ko alam kung meron sa Sta. Rosa e," said Benjo, rubbing the back of his neck.
And so, nag-drive na uli si Brent. Makalipas ang ilang mga minuto, hindi ko alam
kung nasaan na kami pero bigla ko nalang narinig na nagbubulungan yung two boys sa
likod.
"Sagad sa astig," replied Elmo in the same tone. "Heto pala yung pinagkukwentuhan
nila dati. Naranasan na rin natin."
Nako, mas malala sina Kuya Qin. Grabe ang experience namin sa mga pinaggagagawa ng
mga yun. Hindi naman sila nagda-drugs or doing anything illegal. Like I said, mga
basagulero. Ano ba ang ginagawa ng mga ganun? Naghahanap ng away kung saan saan.
Bukod pa dun, ang dami nilang kalokohan. Kami bali ang minions. At dahil mas
matatanda sila, wala kaming choice kung hindi sumunod sa mga utos nila.
The two boys on the front laughed suddenly, bringing my attention to them.
Napatitig ako dun sa ngiti niya. Hindi yun yung usual na pangasar niyang ngiti.
More on, parang he was recalling something pleasant that made him happy.
Ang pinaka matagal niyang girlfriend, two years. High school kami nun. Nang mag-
college kami, isa lang ang naging girlfriend niya. And they lasted for about nine
months.
Yung mga nakaka-date naman niya, walang tumatagal enough para ipakilala niya
personally. All in all, dalawa palang ang mga nagiging girlfriend niya.
Hindi halata pero seryoso siya kapag gusto niya talaga yung girl. Ibibigay niya
talaga lahat, kaya medyo nakakatakot din 'to magmahal e.
Isa pang clue besides dun sa smile niya, yung fact na he used the term 'nakakatuwa'
instead of 'nakakatawa.' There's a difference.
Nakaka-curious naman. Lalo na't hindi basta basta nagkakagusto si Benjo sa babae.
Madali kasi siyang ma-turn off. Kaya nga usually, yung mga nagugustuhan niya,
kilala na niya.
Tumingin ako uli kay Tin with a questionable look, baka kasi narinig niya yung
sinabi ng kuya niya. Pero she only shrugged.
"Nasa SLEX na rin naman tayo, pumunta na tayong Alabang," suggested Benjo.
For sure, in-inform na ni tita ang buong family namin kung nasaan na kami. For sure
din, pinagtatawanan kami ngayon ng three musketeers. Mas hardcore kasi sila.
04:37am
Ilang oras na pala ang nakalipas mula nung umalis kami ng bahay.
Biglang nag-vibrate yung phone ko. Actually, kanina pa nagva-vibrate. Puro texts
and GMs wishing everyone a "Merry Christmas." I've replied to every single on of
them, including yung iMessages nung dalawang Manila boys.
Break muna 'ko sa love life - or at least, that part of my life - ngayong Pasko.
It's good for my soul to chill with my family, talking about childhood memories and
catching up with each other's lives. Hindi lang halata, pero family-oriented person
talaga ako. Hindi naman na ganun ka-close sa parents, close pa rin naman sa mga
pinsan, tito and tita, at sa grandparents ko.
"Bakit, anong ginawa?" natatawang sinabi ni Brent, alam na agad na may ginawang
kawalanghiyaan yung two boys sa likod.
"Si Liam!" sumbong ni Tin, glaring at the back. "Inututan yung mukha ko!"
"Hindi kaya nakakatawa," irap ni Tin. After a moment, lumingon siya sa likod.
"Bakit parati niyo sa'kin ginagawa yan? Kay Nana, 'di niyo ginagawa."
Diba may nicknames tayo na yung mga kamag-anak lang natin ang gumagamit? 'Nana' ang
nickname ko sa family namin - from LaNA NAdine. Laking pasalamat ko nalang at hindi
'Ding' or anything na masagwa.
I smiled evilly.
Sinubukan nila Elmo at Liam gawin yun sa'kin dati. Pero dahil sanay na ako ng
bongga dahil ako ang ginaganun parati dati nila Kuya Qin (isama mo na si Brent at
Benjo), natuto akong lumaban at makipag-wrestling sa kanila.
Medyo naawa ako sa kay Tin, lalo na't napagdaanan ko din yan kaya alam ko ang
feeling. Yun nga lang kasi, yung mga nakakaurat na pangbabara ng mga lalaki naming
pinsan ang nagturo sa'kin not to take crap from anyone else.
Lahat kami naka-abang para makita ang bukas na Starbucks. And the moment we did, we
literally cheered out loud. Masyado kaming excited e.
Brent parked right out front kaya hindi na gaano ang nilakad namin. We embraced the
smell of coffee when we got inside. Pagkasabing pagkasabi ng orders nila, nauna na
sina Elmo at Liam para maghanap ng upuan. At baka kung anong kalokohan ang gawin ng
mga binatang yun, pinasunod namin kay Tin.
I looked at him.
"'Di ka approve?"
Seryoso yung mukha niya. Oh, shiz. I know that look. That's the look that all of my
guy cousins make when they get protective.
Tignan mo nga naman oh. Kanina lang, pinaguusapan namin nila Ate Janelle yung pagka
protective ng mga pinsan namin. Five lang kasi kaming babae sa generation namin,
baby pa lang yung isa.
"'Kami'?" I repeated.
Si Brent talaga parating 'Kuya Al' ng 'Kuya Al'. Ako naman, si Kuya Qin. Si Benjo
naman, mala Kuya Jino. May kanya kanya kaming favorites. Pero pinaka close ko pa
rin si Benjo.
"Sinabi sa inyo ni Benjo kung sino?" I asked, cutting to the chase. I glanced at
Benjo na madaling umalis sa counter pagkabayad niya.
"'Di ko siya boyfriend," I clarified, before Brent could reply. Um-order na 'ko ng
paborito ko at sinundan si Benjo sa claiming area. "Bakit hindi approve sina Kuya
kay Zeo?"
"I talk, cuz," shrugged Benjo. "Nakwento ko sa kanila yung mga kalokohan namin ni
Zeo for the past four years."
Sa'kin lang ata niya hindi nasabi na medyo close niya si Zeo e. Apat na taon na din
silang magkaibigan ha. Napapaisip tuloy ako. Sinadya ba niya yun? Was that his way
of protecting me?
Benjo nodded.
"Buhay mo pa rin naman yan, Nana," Brent simply told me, ruffling my hair.
Ah! Oo nga pala! Siya pala yung nag-text kanina. Nilabas ko agad ang phone ko and
went through the notifications.
Si Kuya Qin talaga, para siyang darker and edgier Oliver. Meron siyang broody look
and soft features, pero yung aura niya lalayuan mo talaga. Isang tingin palang,
alam mo nang walang gawaing matino. Hindi naman siya parating tahimik, maloko din
naman. Pero parating may sense kausap.
Kaya din siguro comfortable na agad ako kay Oliver kahit dati pa. He reminds me of
Kuya Qin. A brighter version, at least.
Dumating na ang mga orders namin and hinanap na namin ang mga pinsan namin. We
found Tin, Elmo, and Liam sa second floor.
To get rid of my troubling thoughts, nakipagkwentuhan ako kay Tin. Pero sa totoo
lang, nagi-eavesdrop kaming dalawa sa conversation nina Brent at Benjo.
Pinaguusapan na naman nila yung girl na nagugustuhan ata ni Benjo.
. . .
Inisip ko yung times na magkakasama kami sa Dionysus. Pinilit kong i-remember yung
behavior ni Benjo. Normal lang naman. Hindi talaga halata.
I looked at him.
"Tira mo na."
Tumingin ako sa table. Naglalaro kami ng Tong-Its sa family room on the second
floor. Maganda yung view dito kasi glass yung walls facing the Taal Volcano. Kahit
na gabi, yung city lights sa baba, kitang kita.
Kanina, my cousins and I were playing poker. Kaso bumaba sina Kuya Jino kasama si
Brent at Benjo para ayusin yung mga paputok para mamaya.
Bumunot na 'ko ng card at nagbaba ng baraha. Si Kuya Qin naman ang titira.
Naiwasan ko siya for a few days dahil alam kong ibi-bring up niya yung tungkol kay
Zeo. At dahil naiwan kaming dalawa dito, he grabbed the opportunity to have a
'talk' with me.
"I'm sure nakwento na sayo ni Benjo." I rolled my eyes. "What's there to tell?"
"Why do you like him?" he asked casually, pero he still wasn't looking at me.
I stared at him. He was laid back as he sat on the arm chair across from me. Naka
simpleng black hoodie sweatshirt lang siya, with the sleeves pulled up to his
elbows. Unlike most of us, hindi siya kulot. Pero may dark brown eyes siya, tsaka
maputi ang kulay niya.
Hindi naman halatang iniiwasan ko yung tanong niya, noh? Kapag kasi sinagot ko yun,
parang feeling ko isa ako sa mga fangirls ni Zeo. Parang ang silly ng dating, lalo
na para kay Kuya Qin na medyo deep na tao.
I sighed.
This time, nakatingin siya straight into my eyes. Hindi ulit ako sumagot. Siya
naman ang bumuntong hininga, sabay shake ng head.
Patay. Binanggit niya yung full name ko. Seryoso talaga siya dun sa text niyang
yun. Shiz. Wala pa namang kasiguraduhan yung sa'min ni Zeo. Nakaka-sad.
"Opo, Kuya Joaqin," I replied with a grin, mentioning his full name din.
I caught a small smile from his lips. Okay na yan. At least, he'll let us be. Hindi
naman kontrabida type yung mga pinsan ko e. They let us live our own lives.
Biglang nag-vibrate yung phone ko na nasa table. Nagkatinginan kami ni Kuya Qin. I
looked at the screen to see kung sino ang nagtext.
Ollie
"Hindi siya 'to," sabi ko, while unlocking to open Oliver's message.
"Nagtatanong?"
Ollie: We're having a garden party dito sa house. You wanna come?
Hmm. Sa Alabang si Oliver nakatira e. Pwede naman siguro. After all, ang importante
namang gawin with the family is yung Media Noche, which is happening tonight.
Wow. I just realized na mami-meet ko family niya for the first time. Shucks. Nahiya
naman ako bigla. Baka sobrang high-class nila. Magpapaka prim and proper nalang
ako.
"La Loma."
Me: Meet nalang tayo sa QC. Pupunta cousin ko sa La Loma. San ka?
Ollie: Oh? La Loma din. I'll buy a lechon for the party.
Tinitigan ko siya.
Binaba ko ang mga cards na hawak ko and slowly placed it on the table. I stood up
and headed to the stairs.
"Nagugutom na 'ko," sagot ko, without looking at him. Dali-dali akong pumunta sa
hagdan. "Ikaw naiwan, ikaw magligpit!" Lumingon ako para dilaan siya, tapos tumakbo
na 'ko pababa bago pa niya 'ko maabutan.
Nagmadali ako para magtago sa kitchen. Oops. Wrong move. Baka mautusan ako dito.
Nahuli na nila tita si Tin kanina, kaya wala siya sa taas e. Kaso, mahilig naman si
Tin sa culinary kaya okay lang sa kanya.
"Nana."
Medyo naawa naman ako, kasi kahit madami sila, kasama na dun yung dalawang maid
nila Lola dito sa bahay, kulang pa rin ang human resources.
"Sige po."
And so, I spent the next hour helping them set the dining table. Nginingitian ako
ni Ate Janelle kasi alam niyang ayaw ko ng gawaing bahay. Wala akong magagawa.
Nahuli ako e.
Karma siguro 'to. Tinakasan ko kasi si Kuya Qin sa pagligpit ng mga baraha e. Mas
malala tuloy yung karma sa'kin. Badtrip.
Naawa sa'kin si Ate Janelle, kaya pinatakas na niya 'ko. Agad naman akong pumunta
sa living room, kung saan nakatambay si Benjo. He was smiling gently habang
nakatitig sa phone niya. Hindi niya 'ko napansin na nag-enter. I took that
opportunity to play a little prank on him so I sneaked up behind him.
Gugulatin ko na sana siya when I saw a girl's facebook profile sa phone niya. Abot
lupa ang nganga ko when I saw exactly who that girl was.
I gasped. "Crush mo si Kylee?!"
Benjo jumped straight off the couch and turned around to face me.
"Oh, my God!" I yelled, my eyes were about to pop out from its sockets sa
confirmation na nakita ko. "Crush mo si Kylee!!!"
Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay. "Mukha kang in-denial. Caught in the act ka na, cuz!"
"Tinitignan ko lang naman wall niya," said Benjo indignantly. "Crush na agad?"
Ako ang sinabihang mukhang tanga, pero siya naman 'tong halatang hindi mapigilan
yung ngiti niya. Parang ewan lang.
"Hala," he laughed.
I took out my phone. "Mai-text nga si Kylee," sabi ko. On the corner of my eye,
nakita kong nagpipigil si Benjo. I cleared my throat and said out loud, "'Kylee,
alam mo ba na nahuli ko si Benjo na -'"
"Okay, sige."
"She's cute," pa-cool niyang sinabi, aakalain mong hindi ko siya nahuling nags-
stalk ng facebook profile ng crush niya.
"Thank you."
He must have seen the wonder in my face because he said, "Napansin ko."
I studied his expression. He didn't seemed fazed about knowing that fact. Parang
wala sa kanya na may gusto si Kylee na ibang guy. He looked . . . at ease.
"Anong balak mong gawin?"
Hindi siya sumagot. He just continued smiling as if he was being humble, pero at
the same time there was confidence hidden beneath.
_____________
This chapter was supposed to be looong. Kaso nawala yung mood ko ng pagta-type sa
nabasa kong spoiler sa facebook. Lesson learned: Stay away from social networks
when writing. Haha. Update ko nalang to kahit maikli. At least may update, diba?
Bawing bawi naman sa next chappie e. Puro *tooooot* ang susunod. Magugustuhan niyo
yun. May rule pang kasama. ;) #evillaugh
Listen to the song Guilty by Blue while reading this chappie! :D (Thanks to my
special friend Pends for playing this in her car. Sakto sa chapter. Haha! :) xx)
_____________
Sunod-sunod ang pag-vibrate ng phone ko, texts and GMs wishing everyone a happy new
year. Nag-reply lang ako sa mga close friends ko; girlfriends kong sina Cass and
Kylee; tropapeeps na sila Ryan and Patrick; iMessage kina Oliver at Zeo. Tamad ako
mag-GM e, unless official Student Council business.
Bigla naman akong na-excite for 'later'. Hindi kami masyadong nakapagusap these
past few days dahil busy kami sa kanya-kanyang families.
After eating with the whole family, umakyat kaming magpipinsan sa family room para
uminom. Before I could follow them upstairs, Daddy stopped me.
My eyes widened at what he said. Oh, my God! Ilang months nalang, graduation na! Sa
sobrang tuwa ko, nayakap ko si Daddy.
Todo ang ngiti ko pag-akyat ko sa family room. Napansin nilang lahat. Gumawa nalang
muna ako ng dahilan kasi baka ma-jinx kapag sinabi ko na bibigyan ako nila mommy at
daddy ng car for graduation.
Naka ilang shots na rin ako nang mag-ring ang phone ko.
FaceTime Audio . . .
I hurried to somewhere quiet. Nagpunta nalang ako sa attic, where lahat kaming
single and young ay natutulog. I sat by the window and leaned on the wall before
answering the call.
"Musta?"
I have no idea how he's doing dahil hindi naman ako nagi-iMessage sa kanya. Well,
may idea ako ng konti because I stalk him in his Instagram.
Rule #18: Don't be clingy. Most guys don't like clingy girls - especially those na
wala namang karapatan. Cool ka lang. Kung mag-share siya, edi okay. If not, okay
lang din. Same goes for you. Hindi mo kailangang magsabi ng bawat galaw mo. Keep
him interested.
Wala naman talaga sa boses ko na nagseselos ako. Pero yung thought na maraming
nakakakita ng mala movie star niyang hot bod, tas wala ako dun para ipakita na
hindi siya available . . . Ugh. Kung nandun ako, baka kalmutin ko ang mga mata
nila.
"Wooshoo! Ano ka ba, enjoy your days there. If you wanna flirt, flirt."
After all, hindi naman tayo. Pero syempre, ayaw ko. You could say na test 'to.
Feel na feel ko yung uber sexy smile niya through the phone. Anak ng tokwa. Boses
na nga lang, abot pa rin yung ngiti niyang nakakalaglag panty. My gulay naman.
He burst out laughing. "Bakit mo kasi ako pinipilit sa kanila? Alam mo naman na
ikaw ang gusto ko."
Ang lakas talaga nito magpakilig. Shiz. Okay, I admit. Na-miss ko yung mga banat
lines niya na ganito. Kainis. Gusto kong tumili kaso baka marinig nila ako sa baba.
"Okay naman," sagot ko, grateful for the topic change. "Nag-roadtrip kami ng mga
cousins ko nung Christmas." Kinuwento ko lahat ng nangyari. Cheerful pa akong
nagkukwento, pero pagdating sa part na pag-disapprove nila Kuya Qin sa kanya,
napatigil ako.
"Tapos?"
"Uh, ayun. Bahala daw ako." I hesitated. "Pero sabi nila, 'if you break my heart,
they'll break your bones,'" I added in a light tone para 'di masyadong serious.
Tumawa si Zeo. "Now I see where Benjo gets his protective side."
"Crystal clear, Simba." I could hear the smile from his voice. "Tight ang family
mo. That's good."
"Well, yeah." He paused. "It's funny how we both come from separated parents, pero
we're still so close to the rest of our families."
"Oo," I breathed out, with a small smile. "Swerte mo pa nga na may mga brothers ka
e."
"They're pain in the ass, though," he laughed. "You're lucky din. Despite having no
siblings, you're close with Benjo na parang kayo yung brother and sister."
"I know."
"Since nung nasa Baguio tayo. Nahuli ko siya hiding his smile when Kylee made that
silly face whenever she squeals."
Hindi ako sumagot. There was a long pause. Then, I heard him sigh.
"'Lam mo na yun."
"Daya mo."
"Been doing lots of things," he finally answered. "But mostly, I've been missing
you."
"I didn't want to disturb your time with your family e."
A warm smile stretched across my lips. Ang considerate niya. Actually, yun yung isa
sa mga bagay kaya hindi siguro kami nakakapagusap these past few days. Bukod sa
hindi ako nagiging clingy, ayaw ko ring istorbohin yung time niya with his family.
Hindi ko alam kung 'kilig' ba yung proper term sa nararamdaman ko ngayon. Basta
natutuwa ako ng sobra sa kanya. Naa-appreciate ko yung bawat galaw at iniisip niya.
It's safe to say na I'm absolutely happy with my life right now.
Patay. Nasabi ko! Buti nalang, medyo joke ang labas. Pero everybody knows that
jokes are half-meant.
"Ouch."
Pinilit kong tumawa para lumabas na hindi ako seryoso sa sinabi ko. Sakto, may
pumasok sa room ng hindi kumakatok.
"Kuya Qin!" I shrieked in startle. "Katok katok din 'pag may time."
Speaking of the devil, tumatawa siya at the other end of the line.
"Uh, si . . ."
"Go ahead and drink if you want to pa," Zeo told me.
Kausap ko pa siya e. Na-miss ko boses niya kaya ayaw ko pang i-end yung call. Pero
kung magmi-midnight na dun, I understand if we had to end the call na.
04:09am
"Lolo will call us naman if it's time na," he assured me, reading my mind. "So what
else happened to you?"
"Usual kulitan lang with the cousins. Nag-ikot ng konti around town. Nag-marathon
kami ng Harry Potter and Disney movies." I paused, remembering the feud between his
older brothers. "Ikaw, bati na yung mga kuya mo?"
Nag-away kasi yung mga kuya niya because of a girl. Caught in between sila ng mama
niya. Nothing serious naman. Tampuhan lang daw. Neither ended up with the girl pa.
Medyo naaawa nga ako sa mama niya e. Iniwan siya ng ganun ganun lang ng father nila
Zeo, tapos umalis na rin sa bahay nila yung panganay na si Zoren. They all kept in
touch, pero it wasn't the same daw.
Buti nalang, inayos ng lolo nila na ilipat yung last name nila sa 'Alcante' right
after their father left all those years ago kaya medyo safe sila sa upper class
world. Kaya rin matindi ang kapit ni Zoren sa lolo nila. Ayun, napilit naman na
sumama sa kanila sa Greece.
"Yeah, they worked their issues na ata," replied Zeo. "Ewan ko sa mga dickheads na
yun. Nothing but trouble."
Natawa ako.
"A'ight, sunod na 'ko," sabi ni Zeo dun sa nagsalita. I heard a door closing,
before he spoke again. "Kuya's telling me to go downstairs."
"Ah, okay." Nalungkot ako, pero I didn't let him know. "Good night! Happy new year
uli!"
"No, don't hang up," he quickly said. "Naka-earphones ako. You do the same."
"Ha?"
"Put on some earphones, kahit one lang," nilinaw niya. "Then, go join your cousins
while I join my family. We don't have to speak to each other. Basta don't end the
call."
If possible, lalo akong tumawa. Hindi ko tuloy maisuksok yung dulo ng earphones sa
phone ko dahil nakapikit na 'ko sa kakatawa.
"Lalabas na 'ko ng room," sabi ko, when I finally put on the right side of the
earphone on my right ear.
"Same."
I heard walking noises from his end. Nai-imagine ko tuloy yung scenery sa Greece.
Ang ganda. Parang ang peaceful. Tapos nakapaligid pa yung dagat. It was our kind of
place.
Ang astig lang, pero sakto yung pagtigil niya sa paglalakad sa'kin.
"Welcome to mine, Mufasa," I murmured. Right after saying the last word, umupo na
'ko sa pwesto ko kanina.
The rest of the hour went on like that. Feeling ko nandun talaga ko with Zeo. Medyo
mahirap sumabay sa dalawang conversations at the same time, kaya mas nakinig nalang
ako sa end ni Zeo.
I noticed na siya yung laging nagpapatawa sa family niya. Napansin ko rin na very
smart magsalita ang mga relatives niya. Nakaka-intimidate, pero they sound like a
wholesome bunch naman.
When midnight came, nilakasan ko na ang loob ko. Kahit ayaw kong maging mushy,
kahit ayaw kong dagdagan ang vulnerability ko when it comes to him, I said the
words I felt most at that moment anyways.
"I miss you," bulong ko, pouring our my feelings in those three little words.
Buti nalang, maiingay at sabog na ang mga pinsan ko at hindi nila narinig yung
sinabi ko. 'Di ko rin sure kung narinig ni Zeo kasi nagputukan ang mga fireworks sa
end niya. Plus, hindi rin siya nagre-reply.
I blinked, after hearing someone say that from his end of the call.
"I feel like it's gonna be a good year, lolo," Zeo answered, the smile clear from
his voice.
All throughout the night, pinipigilan kong maging sweet sa kanya. Pinipigilan ko
ang sarili kong i-express masyado ang feelings ko. Mahirap kasing mahulog when
we're still at this stage of waiting - of going with the flow even when we lack
stability.
Kaya mahirap mag-show ng feelings when anytime pwedeng bumitaw yung isa. Kapag weak
ako, wala na. Kaya I have to be strong. I have to hold back a little. Kasi in the
end, kapag sobra sobra akong nagpakita ng weakness, ako rin ang kawawa. Pero wala
e.
In love na 'ko.
Kaya kahit anong pigil ko sa pagngiti, even if I wasn't sure of our tomorrow, I
couldn't stop myself from hoping.
At twitter . . .
@TheZeoAlcante: How I started the new year. *smirk emoji* *thumbs up*
#donthateappreciate
(screenshot: January 1, 2014 - 02:37am - Outgoing FaceTime Audio - 5 hours 9
minutes)
_____________
Paalis na dapat kaming La Loma e. Dadaan sana kaming shortcut na alam ni Oliver
nang maramdaman niyang may problema sa isa sa mga tires.
I took my phone out of my pocket while Oliver worked on his replacing his flat
tire. I took a picture of him, laughing my ass off.
"Pano kita mata-tag, e wala ka namang kahit anong social networks," I snorted. 9GAG
account and Skype lang ang alam kong meron siya.
I offered to help kanina kaso kaya na daw niya. Hindi ko na siya pinilit. Wala rin
naman akong masyadong maitutulong e.
Buti na nga lang may silong dito. Atsaka, the weather wasn't as hot today. For
Quezon City, I'm actually surprised na medyo malamig yung hangin.
"Pumayag ka na," I urged him. When he turned to me, I grinned really wide and
added, "Para mabilis?"
"Practice."
Ah, gets.
I couldn't hide the giddiness on my face. Alam ko na naman yung basics, tinuruan na
'ko ni Benjo. Kaya siguro Oliver let me drive his car for a little bit.
Sinundan namin si Manong na naglalakad. Ayaw niyang sumakay kasi rear tire yung may
singaw. Besides, malapit lang daw talaga.
Kumanan si Manong.
I nodded and turned on the signal. Nasa first gear lang naman ako kaya no need to
step on the breaks as I turned right.
Seconds passed, nandito na kami agad sa talyer na nasa tapat ng chapel. Tama si
Manong. Grabe ang lapit nga lang talaga. Kabilang kanto lang pala. Ang swerte din
namin at nasiraan kami sa may malapit sa talyer.
When we got out of the Challenger, I looked at the chapel. It was open. Parang
kakatapos lang ng mass. Then, I remembered na bagong taon ngayon.
Tumawa si Manong. "Happy New Year din sa inyo." He gestured toward the chapel.
"Magdasal muna kayo."
"E mag halo-halo nalang muna kayo dyan," sabi ni Manong, sabay turo sa labas ng
bahay na may nagtitinda.
Yan pa, pwede. "Salamat po." Nauna na 'ko, habang may sinasabi pa si Oliver kay
Manong. Guidelines siguro ng tamang pagalaga sa kotse niya.
I ordered two halo-halo for us. Saktong pagdating ni Oliver, tapos nang gawin yung
mga halo-halo namin. Inuna kong kainin yung slice ng ube at leche flan.
"'Di naman ako mao-OP sa family mo?" I asked Oliver, after swallowing.
I got distracted when I felt someone staring at me. Lumingon ako. It was a girl.
Yung kasama niyang bumibili ng halo-halo, kinalabit niya.
"Izel, si Lana Lopez oh," she whispered. Or at least, tried to whisper. Rinig pa
rin namin ni Oliver e.
"Ha?" Tingin agad yung isa pang girl. When she got a good look at me, her eyes
widened. "Ay, shet. Oo nga."
I smiled briefly at them and looked away, pretending na hindi ko sila narinig. Pero
deep inside, ang lakas ng heartbeat ko at nagpa-panic ang utak ko.
Then, it clicked.
Zeo.
"Ikaw nalang."
"Tara na."
Kain lang, Lana. Kunwari, wala kang naririnig. Kumain ka lang ng halo-halo.
"Sige na nga."
Silence.
"Girlfriend na kaya siya ni Zeo?"
Boom. Confirmed. Kay Zeo nga nila ko nakilala. They must have seen me in some of
his posts. We're friends, after all. Natural lang na mag-post siya minsan ng
picture ko kapag magkasama kami. Pero mas madalas kapag marami kami.
Ouch.
I felt Oliver's eyes on me. Naka-focus lang ako sa halo-halo ko, as if hindi ako
aware sa nasa paligid ko. Poker face. I've mastered that skill na talaga.
Double ouch. Grabe naman, mga ate. Ang ha-harsh niyo naman. Ang lapit lapit ko lang
sa inyo oh. Be sensitive naman please.
Finally, umalis na sila. I watched as they went inside the yellow gate right in
front of the halo-halo stand, thinking about the things they said.
Totoo naman yung mga sinabi nila e. It just stings, hearing it from another person.
Nakaka-sad, pero poker face pa rin. Nasanay na e.
"Yung inaantay mong mangyari sa inyo ni Zeo," he sighed. "I don't think it'll
happen anytime soon."
Hindi ko alam kung anong dapat kong maramdaman. Na-caught off guard ako sa
bluntness ni Oliver, while at the same time I was expecting him to say it.
As his words started to sink in, bumigat yung feeling ko. Masakit. Sobrang masakit
to hear it from someone who I know would tell the truth.
Oliver, the one who told me to wait and have faith. Now, he's telling me this. What
am I supposed to think? How am I supposed to react?
I could feel my eyes getting watery but I held back the tears. I wouldn't cry in
public. I couldn't. Kahit na it hurts talaga.
"I told you to wait and go with the flow," he stated. "Kaso tingin ko, that only
made him feel assured. Naging kampante si Zeo that you won't go anywhere."
Nagkabaliktad yung roles namin ni Oliver. This time, siya yung pala salita while
tahimik lang ako - unable to speak.
But what if this is a never ending ride? What if walang balak si Zeo na itigil yung
ride to finally define our relationship? What if . . . What if his strong feelings
for me aren't enough to make him fully commit?
"Make him see that he's not your only option," said Oliver firmly, looking me
straight in the eye.
Weird.
Bakit . . . parang may double meaning yung pagkakasabi niya nun? Yung tingin din
niya, iba. Guni-guni ko lang ba or parang may sine-send saking message si Oliver
without saying anything? What would it be, though?
"Yeah."
'Di naman siguro counted yung kina Sean at Dex. Alam kasi ni Zeo na 'di ko type
yung mga yun. Besides . . .
No. I won't use someone like that. That wouldn't be fair to that person.
Oliver tilted his head, in a gesture that he was agreeing with what I said.
Bakit ang complicated ng love life? Wala bang problem-free na relationship out
there? Yung tipong, you meet a guy and you end up liking the guy then you date and
then you get together as a couple and fall in love then you get married eventually.
Simple.
"Matalino ka, Lan," breathed out Oliver. "Just figure out a way to bring him out of
his comfort zone."
"You make it sound so easy," sabi ko, nakatingala pa rin. "Lalo na't it's Zeo we're
talking about here."
He didn't reply.
As if on cue, dumating na si Manong para sabihing okay na yung flat tire. Tinapon
na namin ni Oliver yung plastic cups and went to the mechanic shop. After paying
Manong, we thanked him for his help.
_____________
Yung neighboorhood nila, nakakalaglag panga na sa kabonggahan. Double the size ang
laki ng mga bahay dito if compared sa mala mansion na bahay ni Lola. Imagine that!
Yung bahay palang nila, nakaka-intimidate na sa laki. How much more yung mismong
mga may-ari at nakatira dito? My gulay.
"Oo," said Oliver, leading me with his hand at the small of my back as we walked
towards the front door. "They don't bite." He paused, then added, "On second
thought, Jinny does. She's easy to please, though."
As if inaabangan kami, the door opened just as we reached it. A chinita girl around
thirteen years old came to view. Mahaba ang buhok, may bangs. She looked super
cute.
"Ahia!" she exclaimed, upon seeing Oliver. Her eyes wandered to me. "You're Lana?"
"Hi, Jinny."
"Garden," answered Jinny tonelessly, pointing outside. Tinitignan pa rin niya ako
from head to toe.
Napatingin na rin tuloy ako sa suot ko. Skinny jeans, fitted cropped tee with white
and blue stripes, and white Converse shoes. Okay naman ah. Very simple, but at the
same time effortlessly elegant.
I looked at what Jinny was wearing. A white directioner shirt tucked in a black
skater skirt, and blue Keds. My eyes went back to the shirt. Interesting.
Jinny's face literally lit up. "You're a directioner din?" She looked at me
suspiciously. "Who's your favorite?"
"Spoken like a true directioner! I like you na," she giggled. She then looked at
Oliver in disbelief. "Why did you bring her ngayon lang?"
I took that chance to look around their house. Mataas ang ceiling. Maaliwalas. Yung
interior design, combination ng stones and wood. Tapos yung mga furnitures,
naglalaro lang sa mga earthly colors. Very cozy ang dating.
"I love her," sabi ni Oliver, while naglalakad kami palabas, "pero minsan she
annoys me to death."
"Sometimes."
This would be the first time that I would be around such people - the 'elite' as
some would call them. High-class.
Iba yung mayamang show off. Yung tipong alam mong mayaman with the way they dress,
their branded clothes, their expensive gadgets, and stuff.
Pero yung mga tao na nandito, sila yung mga tahimik na mayayaman. It was as if
their prosperity was oozing off their skin. It was like an aura engulfing them. It
was in the way the brought themselves, calm and confident.
"Pa, Ma," bati ni Oliver, leaning closer to kiss them both in the cheeks. He pulled
away and gestured a hand towards me. "This is Lana."
"You're Lana," stated Mrs. Cojuangco, smiling at me. "Nice to finally meet you."
"Madaya ha," biro ng father niya. "You already met his mother and grandpa but we
have yet to meet him personally."
What does that say about me? Hindi man lang ako mapakilala as a friend. Kahit
friend lang. Wala na ba ako sa category na yun kay Zeo?
Akala ko maganda ang umpisa ng new year na 'to. Wow. Too joyful kaninang madaling
araw, kaya binawa agad ngayong hapon?
Test ba ito?
We went to the buffet table, and she ordered me lots of food that I didn't catch
because I was too busy staring at all the food laid out in front of me. Shucks.
Mouthwatering!
"Ay, I almost forgot," sabi ko, handing her the bottle. "I brought wine po."
Nakakahiya naman kasing magpunta ng wala akong kahit anong dala for them. Naisip
kong bumili ng cake, pero handaan kasi 'to. Kaya wine nalang.
"That's nice of you. Thank you." Mrs. Conjuangco accepted the bottle and handed it
to the waiter para ilagay sa kitchen. "Oliver tells me you're graduating this
year?"
She nodded. "Nakakatuwa talaga how you kids got together. Planned by fate, don't
you think so?" Then, she laugh gracefully.
"Sobra po." Nagiging comfortable na 'ko. Dumadaldal na 'ko e. "At first, Ollie and
Zeo didn't get along talaga. The next thing I know, parang long time 'bros' na
sila."
"Yes po. Tapos ngayon, we get along so well na no one would dare to think we
started rough," I added, laughing.
Aw. Nakakahiya naman. She looked like she really meant it.
She laughed. There goes the graceful laugh again. Napapatitig tuloy ako.
Tita Danica looked really beautiful. Parang Kris Aquino yung dating, milder nga
lang kasi may pagka mahinhin si Tita Danica.
"Ma, can I take Lana to my room?" called out Jinny, running to us.
"No."
"Daya!"
"I told you she's clingy once you pleased her," he told me.
"Okay lang," tawa ko. Okay lang naman talaga. She seemed like a good kid.
We walked to an empty table by the far end at sat down. Oliver settled himself
beside me and immediately began eating, while I looked around. Naghahanap ako ng
mga kasing edad namin. Sino pa kaya ang mga dinala niya dito?
Pero the more I looked around, the more I realized na magkaka-mukha yung mga tao na
nandito. Puro singkit.
"Ikaw."
"Bukod sa'kin."
Unang reaction ko sa loob-loob ko: SHOCK. Bakit niya 'ko in-invite kung family
thing pala 'to?! Feeling ko tuloy nagi-intrude ako.
"No, it means you're special," he said casually, as though it wasn't a big deal.
Hindi din siya nakatingin sa'kin when he said it.
Uh, what?
What?!
WAIT.
"Naks naman," biro ko, trying to keep things light. "Dapat ba 'kong kiligin dyan?"
"Kumain ka na before your food gets cold," he said instead, bossy but he look
amused naman.
After that, things got easy. Oliver introduced me to his relatives. Tapos, his
cousins stopped by the table to chat. They were all very nice and accommodating.
Nung una, sabi ko na magpapaka prim and proper ako. Alam ko naman kasi when to
behave myself. Pero I guess no need for that, really. I could be myself with these
people.
Their family room consisted of a big flat screen TV na nasa wall. Pang-sine ang
dating. All around audio system pa. There were three big sofas na nakapaligid,
facing the TV. Nagkalat yung cushions around the center. There were shelves of
DVDs, VCDs, and vinyls on either side of the TV. There was even a jukebox on the
back corner.
"I wanted to show you my posters saglit," she explained, sabay turo sa wall niyang
puno ng 1D posters at Taylor Swift.
"When Harry and Taylor broke up, I was torn kung kanina ako kakampi. So I stayed
neutral," I laughed.
"Oo nga."
"As a friend."
"How . . . ?"
"Basta always come here ah," she half-pleaded. "I'm sorry I got carried away when I
found out you're a directioner."
This girl can be really sweet when she wants to be. Glad ako na nagustuhan niya
'ko. Ayos lang sa'kin pagka clingy niya, no matter what Oliver says.
"Don't worry," I assured her. "I'm always here to fangirl with you."
Knock! Knock!
"Tapos na girl talk?" checked Oliver, cautiously entering the room. "Hinahanap na
si Lan for another round."
I haven't seen Oliver this happy. Yung face niya kasi, very bright yung aura.
Tapos, parang nagti-twinkle din yung mga mata niya sa tuwa. Yung mouth niya,
stretched into what looked like a permanent smile.
"Let's go na," decided Jinny, pulling me by the hand papunta sa family room.
"Jinny's finished welcoming you to her obsessive fandom, Lana?" joked Lian, older
girl cousin ni Oliver.
Bumalik na si Oliver sa sofa at the right side of the room na inuupan niya kanina
pa, while the rest of his cousins ay nasa gitna or nasa lapag. We were a little
more than fifteen people siguro in the room.
Sanay na 'ko sa malaking pamilya, kaya this wasn't new to me. In fact, I liked the
familiarity. Lalo na't okay ang pakikitungo sa'kin ng family ni Oliver.
Jinny playfully stuck her tongue out at Lian, causing Lian to laugh.
"Game na, Lana?" challenged Matthew, younger boy cousin naman. Naka pwesto na harap
ng flat sceen TV.
"Game."
TIP: Play Miguel Mendoza's version of Foolish Heart while reading this chapter.
(Thanks to Oldy for the recommendation months ago.)
_____________
For some reason, I grew to love that song. Whenever I hear it, mixed emotions ako.
I feel giddy but scared at the same time. Pero mostly kilig.
"But will my lonely heart play the part of the fool again?"
Suddenly, may humawak sa mga kamay ko. I opened my eyes and saw Zeo. He was back
from Greece since this morning. Nagpunta siya kaagad dito sa bahay. And now the sun
was setting already. Ang bilis talaga ng oras.
He went to his car to get something when Foolish Heart started playing on my iPod.
I didn't even hear his steps na paakyat.
My heartbeat accelerated at how close he was. I could never get used to his touch.
It always catches me off guard. He always catches me off guard.
He pulled me closer, so I laid my head on his chest. I inhaled his scent and parang
it was the best thing I ever smelled. I wanted to rub my face on his shirt. Pero
that'd be weird na so I didn't.
My eyes widened at the realization that Zeo was singing. Well, more like humming
pero still! Na-shock ako dun ah. Tapos, sakto na yung kinanta niya! Shucks!
I remained still. We were slow dancing while he murmured the lyrics against my
ears. Hindi naman sobrang ganda ng boses niya, pero nasa tono naman siya kaya keri
na.
Yung kanta.
Na sakto sa'min.
Holy shiz.
Napakagat ako sa labi ko para pigilan yung kilig na umaapaw sa kalooblooban ko.
Baka kasi mag-squeal ako ng wala sa oras.
My eyes closed. Suddenly, all the fears came rushing back. The doubts, the lack of
commitment, the never-ending ride . . . Kaya ko pa ba?
I'm so in love with him it hurts. Love's not supposed to hurt this bad. Love
shouldn't be this complicated. It's supposed to make you be happy about life,
believe in hope, and just glow in euphoria.
With Zeo's actions, it's as if he's in love with me, too. But is he, really? They
say 'action speaks louder than words.' Kaso kasi, sometimes, hindi enough ang
actions.
I felt him tense, being called by his name for the first time in forever. He
obviously sensed na may something sa pagka bigat ng boses ko.
Sa totoo lang, I don't think makakatagal pa 'ko sa never-ending ride na 'to. Ayoko
ng ganitong feeling. Gusto ko yung care-free lang. I guess we passed that stage na.
"Why?"
If not now, then when? Pero 'di ko sinabi yun. Tinignan ko lang siya, waiting -
always waiting for him. Pero walang choice e. Inlababo ang madir mo.
"I don't wanna ruin this," he whispered. His eyes went back to mine. He looked like
he was close to pleading. "Please 'wag muna nating pagusapan."
Tama yung sabi ng mga kaibigan ko. Si Zeo yung tipo ng guy na magpapakilig sa'yo ng
bonggang bongga na abot sa Jupiter, pero may chance din na masaktan ka ng bongga.
Nakakainis. Of all the people, of all the effing guys, si Zeo freaking Alcante pa
ang natipuan ng foolish heart ko. Anak ng tokwa talaga si Tadhana.
Ano pa nga ba ang ire-reply ko sa kanya? 'Di ko naman siya mapipilit kung ayaw niya
talagang pagusapan yung 'relationship' namin. Naiiyak ako pero pinigilan ko. I
won't show him how much this is hurting me. Ayokong mag-commit siya dahil yun ang
gusto ko.
I want him to commit because he wants to, not because I forced him to.
_____________
You guys are hating on Zeo so much. :( Time for Lana to face the sad reality.
Napatingin ako sa paligid ko. Puro students at buildings ang nasa paligid.
Ay, oo nga pala. Nasa Silvestre University ako, with Cass and Kylee. Nag-inquire
kami for our Master's Degree. Kanina pa kami tapos mag-inquire, actually.
Naglalakad-lakad nalang kami dito sa loob, absorbing the university life in Manila.
Pero syempre, hindi nagre-register sa utak ko ang surroundings sa kaiisip sa'min ni
Zeo.
"Pagselosin mo na kasi," sabi ni Cass, irritated. "Ang lagay e ikaw lang ang
magseselos? Tapos siya, kampante na nagaantay ka para sa kanya?"
She was talking about Tracy, yung varsity volleyball player ng Soledad.
Since Zeo got back, nagte-training sila ng madalas. Tinutulungan siya ni Zeo for
the upcoming UAAP for the girls volleyball team. I don't know much, but from what
I've heard magaling daw yung girl.
Magaling naman pala siya e. Bakit kailangan pa niya ng tulong sa training niya,
diba?
Maybe a little insecure din, kahit ayokong aminin. Pero DUH. Sinong hindi mai-
insecure dun sa Tracy na yun? She's pretty, she's rich, and she's athletic. Shiz.
Nakakababa ng self-esteem.
Tapos, madami pa silang shippers ni Zeo. As in, akala mo love team talaga sila. My
gulay. Tinatanggi naman nila, pati si Tracy. Pero na-sense ko na gusto niya yung
attention kahit dine-deny niya.
Duh again. Sinong hindi magugustuhan na i-love team ka ba naman kay Zeo Alcante?
"'Di din basta basta nagseselos si Zeo," I pointed out. "Parang sobrang laki ng ego
ng kumag na yun na drill ang kailangan para matamaan yung core."
"It has to be someone na alam niyang type ko," I said, pursing my lips.
'Di ko alam kung bakit, pero parang may magnet pushing me to look to my right. When
I did, I saw a familiar tall figure. Sa shock ko, nagtaka pa ako saglit kung anong
ginagawa niya dito. Then, I remembered dito nga pala siya nagaaral.
'Di niya kami napansin, he continued on walking. I honestly doubt na maaalala niya
kami. Five minutes lang ata ang paguusap namin nun e.
He stared.
Slowly, I could see recognition forming through his eyes. He instantly changed
direction and walked back to us.
Napatingin ako kina Cass at Kylee. Speechless si Kylee. Si Cass naman, mukhang
curious at nakangiti na parang may binabalak.
"We don't," I admitted. "We're just here to inquire for grad school."
"Oh, I'm Jesse," he introduced himself, reaching out his hand for a handshake.
"Lana," I replied, taking his hand. "These are my friends, Cass and Kylee."
He nodded. "Hey."
"Well, I can't pass this by," he stated, flashing his charming smile. "Coincidences
like this isn't meant to be ignored."
Wow. That is one killer smile. Yung tipo ng ngiti na nakakahawa? Yun ang meron
siya.
I shot her a sharp look, which she ignored. While Kylee's jaw dropped in surprise
from what Cass said.
I studied his expression. Hmm. I didn't see any playfulness I saw in most flirts.
Safe. He was just being friendly.
"Okay, then." He smiled approvingly at me. "You girls game to have lunch with me
and my friends?"
Napansin ko, everything he did, he did with ease. Very laidback siya. Parang walang
pinoproblema sa mundo.
Buti pa siya.
"We're game!" sagot ni Cass, before pa ako makapagsalita.
"Awesome." He began texting, probably to inform his friends. When he was done, he
looked at us and added, "Let's go."
"Nagta-tagalog ka ba?" I asked him, after a few minutes of walking alongside him.
In-ignore ko nalang yung mga looks that we were getting from the students.
Bakit parang magnet ako ng mga campus celebrities this past school year? Yung mga
nagiging kaibigan ko . . . Grabe. Be careful what you wish for talaga.
"Not really."
I stared at him.
Tanned ang skin niya, kaya hindi mo matatawag na tisoy pero hindi rin naman gaano
ka moreno. Mukhang Pilipino, pero gwapo at matangkad na Pinoy. Yung mata niya,
parang pinaghalong bilugan at singkit. His black hair naman was clean cut.
"Tell you what," he began with a grin, "if you survive the next hour talking only
in English, I'll speak as much Tagalog as you want."
Ooh. Challenge.
Ah! Heto rin yung place na kinainan namin nila Oliver nun!
Speaking of Oliver, wala siyang klase ngayon kaya hindi kami makakapagkita. He told
me na susulitin daw niya yung Sabado na 'to at matutulog lang siya buong araw.
Jesse led us inside. After ordering, we headed to a long table already half full of
guys. Big guys, mind you. Isang mukha lang ang familiar sa'kin. Si Matrix - and he
still looked as shy as he did the last time I saw him.
Magkakatabi kami nila Cass at Kylee, while the boys were seated across from us.
Kaharap ko si Jesse, keeping an eye for me because I was supposed to speak in
English for an hour. Madali lang naman siguro 'to.
"You guys remember?" Jesse asked them, sabay turo sa'min ni Cass.
Napapanganga kami ni Cass dun sa nagsalita. He looked serious. What the? Hindi
naman kami um-oo nun ah!
Jesse shook his head. He introduced everyone to lessen awkwardness. We found out na
yung malakas mag-joke, Yves ang name.
Kylee burst out laughing, making others look at her. Napatigil siya agad.
Papanuorin ko pa sana sila kaso na-feel kong may nakatitig sa'kin. My eyes wandered
around the table, and bingo. The boy named Troy was looking at me.
"She's friends with Zeo Alcante," said Troy, nodding to me. "Diba?"
So what naman ba if kaibigan ko yung mga yun? Big deal much? OA naman. Ano ba
reputation ni Oliver dito? Nakaka-curious na talaga ah.
Troy snorted. "Besides the fact that he's Blue Blur? He's pretty influential.
Anyone who's somebody in Silvestre knows him."
"He used to be the star player of our football team din," added Yves.
Matrix placed his elbows on the table and leaned closer. Mukhang nawawala na ang
shyness niya and nagiging comfortable na siya.
"He's good friends with all the right people, too," he grinned. "Like Jesse here."
I didn't expect that. I opened my mouth to say something when I realized na magta-
tagalog ako. Phew. Muntik na!
Jesse nodded. "Now, I get it. You're with him that time in Baguio."
Hindi naman siya mukhang galit kay Oliver because he befriended Zeo. Then again,
that was a pretty shallow reason. And he didn't look unreasonable naman.
Sakto, the food came. We busied ourselves eating while the others continued to talk
about the facilities. Ako naman, lumilipad ang utak sa mga nalaman ko kaya
absentminded ako kung kumain.
Big time pala dito si Oliver e. Unreachable din, when you think about it. Shucks.
Ang a-astig naman ng mga naging ka-close ko.
Thank you po, Lord. Hindi niyo po ginagawang boring ang buhay ko kahit papaano.
"Interesting."
"Ollie isn't friends with just anyone, you know," sabi niya sa'kin, his eyes
scrutinizing me.
"So you must be cool to hang around with," he concluded, smiling delightedly.
Hindi naman sa I wanted him to take it. Nakakapag-wonder lang na sinabi niya kanina
na kukunin niya yet he still wasn't asking for it.
. . . . .
The Fast Chaser. Ito yung sa sobrang straightforward niya, maca-caught off guard ka
sa charm niya. He's unpredictable and charming. Super direct, sasabihin niya talaga
kung gusto ka niya. Walang paligoy-ligoy. He'll sweep you off his feet. And before
you know it, you've fallen hard for him. Downside? He could be gone just as fast.
The Slow Pacer. This type will be your friend, always there for you when you need
him. You'll joke around, open up to him, tell him your problems. He'll show you
that he can be the perfect boyfriend without actually being the boyfriend kasi nga
you're 'friends'. Mararamdaman mo na unti-unti, mahuhulog ka sa kanya. Ikaw ang
magtatapat so he won't have to do it. And when you do tapos he rejects you, you'll
feel like it's your fault that you fell for him. He gets away with it without
'doing' anything. Tapos the feelings? It'll take time to go away just like it took
time for you to fall for him. Deadly.
Looking at Jesse, nababasa ko na siya. He's definitely a Slow Pacer. Now that aware
ako, medyo safe na ako sa silent charm niya. Buti nalang nahuli ko kaagad.
"I guess it's because I call them out on their bullshits," I told him with a
straight face.
"I think you knew all along that I'm friends with both Zeo and Ollie," I stated,
not daring to look away. "You knew about the incident that happened here last
December so you're curious. You're curious on what's so special about me that I'm
tight with those you consider unapproachable. You took the chance when you saw me
earlier and now we're here."
His eyes never left mine, his lips stretching into a wider crooked smile.
HA! Akala niya ah! Sa totoo lang, hula ko lang yun. Pero kita mo nga naman, tumama
ako sa hula ko. There was something about him kasi e.
"I get why they're friends with you," he explained. "Pretty sharp for a
probinsyana."
He laughed. "Ollie always went there last year. It made us wonder, you know. Gotta
be a girl, I thought. And what do you know, it is a girl."
Nagsa-start na 'kong maging comfortable around him. Wala na yung tension before.
Kung hindi mo siya makakausap ng ganito, nakaka-intimidate siya ng sobra. Bagay nga
silang magkaibigan ni Oliver.
He smiled and shook his head, grabbing the napkin to wipe his mouth from the
dessert he was eating. I waited until he swallowed his food and drank his glass of
water.
"Hmm."
Nag-isip ako. Kinuha ko yung phone ko at nag-google ng mga lumang kanta. Yung
traditional talaga, with matching sobrang malalalim na Tagalog words. Soon,
nakahanap ako.
Smiling evilly, I handed him my phone. I was shaking in silent laughter when Jesse
groaned as he scanned the lyrics.
Tumigil na sa pakikipagusap yung mga kasama namin to listen to him do the end of
his deal. Tawa ng tawa yung mga lalaki in anticipation. Apparently, it was rare for
them to hear Jesse speak in Tagalog.
Sa totoo lang, it felt good to laugh like this again. Yung tipong, wholeheartedly
and carefree. Nakaka-gaang sa pakiramdam. Nakaka-miss tumawa ng ganito.
_____________
Like I said in twitter, I'm starting to like Jesse. Siguro kasi ayaw ko din ng
complications. If he and Lana were to be together, parang easy and laidback lang.
Pero yun naman e opinion ko lang. Tapos yung song pa! Haha! :P
Between acquaintances and friends kami. Not quite friends, but past acquaintances
na. We text each other sometimes, so that was refreshing.
Nakaka-miss din magkaron ng kakilalang guy who doesn't give a shiz about my issues.
He doesn't ask. He doesn't attempt. He doesn't even flirt with me. Tipong, he's
just there to have mindless fun.
Pumapasok sa isip ko yung word na 'Slow Pacer', pero tingin ko wala ako list of
quests niya e. I think he genuinely wants to be my friend. Just that.
"Ano ba yan," whined Kylee. "Hindi ko alam kung saan ako mag-aaral."
Nasa Soledad naman kami ngayong Wednesday. Inquire ulit, like nung sa Silvestre.
And as usual, nagiikot kami after naming mag-inquire. Sinusulit namin ang time
namin dito.
"Baka 'di na 'ko mag-grad school," admitted Cass, flicking a strand of hair away
from her face. "Gusto ko nang mag-work para may kita agad."
"Psh," grumbled Cass, rolling her eyes. "Daming backers nila papa. Sa panahon
ngayon, 'di na credentials ang kailangan. Influences na."
"Oh, my gosh!" gasped Kylee, her eyes wide. "Dahil ba yan kay Jesse? Paano na ang
Mufamba?"
Mas peaceful kasi ang ambiance dun. Dito kasi, pressure na agad ang nafi-feel ko.
To think, hindi pa ako nagaaaral dito ah.
Yun din, si Zeo pa. He basically reigns this place. Not sure if that's a good thing
or a bad thing. Hindi ko masyadong gusto ang attention when I'm getting it because
of him.
"Mas gusto ko si Zeo," stated Kylee. "Ang dami niyo nang napagdaanan, ngayon ka pa
ba gi-give up?"
"Ewan ko," banat naman ni Cass. "Nadi-disappoint ako sa kanya. Nasaan ang balls
niya? Akala ko ba, he 'wants to claim you'? Anyare?"
"'Di pa siya ready e," defended Kylee. "Darating din sila dun. Tiwala lang!"
"Ang daling gawin ah," sabi ko sa kanya nang nakataas ang isang kilay.
Zeo: Where r u?
Nakarating kami ng girlfriends ko sa fifth floor ng Aguinaldo Hall. May mga bean
bags pala dito. Ang cool! Nakwento na nila Zeo 'to e. Hindi ko lang sure kung heto
yung mga bean bags talaga na may disgusting history.
May mga naka-display din na art exhibit. Naalala ko bigla yung Silvestre Art
Gallery. And from that, naalala ko naman si Oliver.
Speaking of Oliver, nagyayaya siya sa Haut this Saturday. May dinagdag pa siya sa
text niya na 'just like old times.' Hmm. We'll see about that.
"NO!"
Our heads instantly turned to the direction where the voice came from. We saw Sev a
few feet away hurrying towards us.
"Trust me, you don't wanna sit there," he said, when he got near.
Shucks. Muntik na kaming umupo sa mga bean bags na may disgusting history. Buti
nalang dumating si Sev kundi hindi ko alam kung gaano kadaming germs ang lumipat
sa'min.
"Masters?" he guessed.
I nodded. "May training daw kayo with the girls volleyball team ah."
"Oh, shit," he muttered, his shoulders slouching. "Oo nga pala. Nakakatamad."
Zeo: Here.
Hindi na 'ko nagreply kay Zeo. I lifted my head and looked at Sev.
"She's cool," he answered. "Parang ikaw, but a little more on the girly side."
My eyes instantly flew back to him. Sev only smiled as if he knew my secret. In
turn, I gave him my most innocent expression.
Hindi possible na alam niyang nagseselos ako. No. Hindi pwede! Nako, pag umabot 'to
kay Zeo, madadagdagan na naman reasons niya para maging kampante. Shiz.
"Yo." Zeo came from behind and kissed me on my temple. "Kumain na kayo?"
"'Di pa," sagot ko.
Syempre, bumilis ang tibok ng puso ko sa ginawa niya. Kinilabutan pa, reminding me
how soft his lips were. Hindi na nagbago ang epekto niya sa'kin. His smell, his
touch . . . I will never get used to it. I'll always crave for more - more of him.
All of him.
Tinitigan ako ni Zeo with a serious look. Last time we saw each other was the day
when he got back from Greece. That was almost two weeks ago.
Oo, naguusap naman kami. Pero whenever we talk, nakakalimutan ko yung mga issues
namin. Nakakalimutan ko yung mga problema na kailangan namin i-face sooner or
later.
Pero the moment na hindi na kami magka-usap, parang bagyo kung bumuhos pabalik sa
utak ko. It's overwhelming.
Cass and Kylee immediately followed after him. Sumunod na rin kami ni Zeo behind
them. When we reached the bottom floor, Zeo stopped me.
I considered confronting him again. Pero I changed my mind. There was a time and
place for that. And hindi ito yun.
At least, napansin niya na hindi ako okay. Kudos to him dahil expert ako sa poker
face. The fact na napansin niya ay medyo big deal para sa'kin.
"Simba, what's up?" he asked, the concern clear in his voice. Nakakunot na rin yung
forehead niya in worry. He leaned his face closer to mine pa.
"The question should be 'what's down'?" I managed to get out of my mouth. "Down ang
tolerance ko for starvation kaya kumain na tayo."
Bravo. I just won the award for coming up with the lamest excuse ever.
Zeo looked like he didn't believe me, but I could that he was letting the matter
go. He could probably see it on my face that I didn't want to talk about it.
Malamang, may idea na na siya kung anong problema. And he didn't want to talk about
it, too.
"Down din tolerance ko for lame jokes," he chuckled. "But for you, titiisin ko," he
added, mocking a pained expression.
The next hour continued like that. Our usual banter eased the tension away. Nung
papunta kami sa KFC, madaming tumititig kina Zeo at Sev. Syempre, there was no
place they were better known at than here at Soledad.
May mga naglakas ng loob at nagpa-picture. For the first time, nakita kong annoyed
si Zeo. Yung pilit na ngiti with a closed mouth. Pati si Sev, ganun din. I guess
they also have their limits. Lalo na't lunch hour. Kumakain rin sila e.
Other than that, it was a pretty normal lunch hour naman. I was slowly remembering
the happy times with Zeo. Masaya talaga ako kapag kasama ko siya e.
Heto pa, he didn't let go of my hand. Pahirapan sa pagkain, but he didn't let go.
Para bang, he was silently assuring me that it was all going to be okay.
I felt secure with his warm hand intertwined with mine like that.
"Hey, guys."
Ang ganda niya talaga. Nakaipit yung buhok niya in a ponytail, which only made her
beautiful face stand out. Morena, tapos halatang makinis. Alagang Belo siguro siya.
Seryoso. Abnormal yung pagka-kinis niya e.
Bwahaha!
Oo na. Maganda ka na. Wala na 'kong binatbat sayo. Please go away. Now na.
"Lana, Tracy," introduced Zeo. "Tracy, Lana and her friends Cass and Kylee."
She smiled that polite smile again na hindi ko alam kung fake ba or what. Pero
malakas kutob ko na fake. Hindi lang halata kasi she polished it to perfection.
"Sorry, but I have to drag these two knuckleheads to the gym," she laughed.
Pati ba naman tawa, maganda pa rin? Seryoso. Joke time ba 'to ni Tadhana sa'kin?
Rule #19: Don't be a nagger. Unang una, may karapatan ka ba? Pero kahit na meron,
'wag kang maging palengkera. Hindi mo ikagaganda ang pointless na pagtatalak. Hindi
rin maganda sa paningin ng guy na gusto mo, or kahit sino. May pinagaralan ka man o
wala, learn your manners. It's his own life. You're not his mother. Let him be.
"Go ahead," I laughed. Fake laughed, more like. Pero dahil ako nga ito, hindi nila
malalamang peke yung tawa ko.
"You want me to call Oliver to get you girls?" Zeo asked me.
Ngumiti ako kay Tracy. Slight lang naman yung urge, pero sarap sabunutan ng bruhang
'to. Kitang naguusap pa kami ni Zeo e. Asar.
Ang mas nakakaasar pa, pinipilit niyang magkaibigan lang sila ni Zeo pero obvious
naman talaga na natutuwa siya kasi nali-link siya sa tinaguriang Lion King ng
university nila.
Tumayo na sila ni Sev and made a move to leave when Cass spoke.
"Tinext ako ni Matrix, babe," sabi niya sa'kin. "Ano daw sinabi mo Jesse kanina,
tawa daw ng tawa. 'Di daw maka-shoot ng maayos sa practice nila."
I frowned in confusion. Nung isang araw pa yung last text namin ni Jesse. What Cass
said didn't make any sense. I stared at her, then it clicked. May binabalak 'to.
She was making things up e.
Ah, gets. Alam ko na ang binabalak ni Cass. Pinagseselos nito si Zeo. Oh, well.
Nasabi na ni Cass e, better for me na sumakay nalang.
"Yup, nung nagpunta kami sa Silvestre last week," I answered, with just the right
amount of innocence.
"Nag-lunch din kami kasama barkada niya," bragged Cass, clearly enjoying herself.
"Medyo parehas nga kayo ni Jesse e," piped up Kylee, talking to Zeo.
Zeo's eyes switched to her. For the briefest moment, may pagka intense akong nakita
sa mga mata niya, before it disappeared na parang guni guni ko lang.
"Natamaan yun," I said, recalling that tiny second of intensity in his eyes. "He
hid it well, pero nahuli ko for a moment na nawala yung wall of confidence niya."
"Ang ganda pala talaga ni Tracy sa personal ah," commented Kylee, na parang hindi
makapaniwala. "Kung wala lang sila sa hate list ko, nagpa-picture na 'ko sa kanya."
"Bagay sila," I murmured, hindi ko mapigilan yung sarili ko but to say it.
Cass sighed in frustration. "Nasaan na yung Lana na ina-admire ko? Yung kaibigan ko
na hindi ipagpipilitan ang sarili niya sa ibang tao. Yung hindi nagse-settle for
anything less. Yung hindi nai-insecure? Miss ko na siya."
Masakit to hear those things from a friend. Isang malaking sampal e. Pero somehow .
. . it fired up something inside me. It angered me how much she was right. Tama
talaga siya sa mga sinabi niya. Bakit ngayon ko lang na-realize?
Love is supposed to bring out the best part of myself, but somehow it brought out
the worst part of me. The weak side of me.
Cass's words were some sort of wake up call. It was time to turn things around. It
was time to do things my way.
Sabi nga dun sa quote na nabasa ko, "Accept what you can't change, and change what
you can't accept."
I needed to have that conversation with Zeo again. I was going to make him talk.
____________
I like Jesse. I really do. But remembering the early chapters, naalala ko just how
uber charismatic Zeo is. Ewan ko. Naguguluhan na ko kung sino ishi-ship kooo. >_<
Listers (LL readers): Loko ka pala, miss author e! Alam mo na mangyayari pero di mo
alam kung sino ishi-ship mo? Niloloko mo ba kami? XD
_____________
"We meet again," he said, loud enough for me to hear despite the loud roar of
dance music in the club.
I smiled at him, before ordering Zeo and Oliver's usual drinks to the bartender.
Kaso madami ding umo-order na iba kaya baka matagalan ako dito sa bar from waiting.
Tumingin ako kay Jesse, who happened to be here. At least, hindi ako mabo-bored sa
paga-antay. The Manila boys didn't want me to go here, pero I insisted.
It was exactly one week ago since I last saw him. Syempre naman, nothing changed.
He was still the easy-going guy I came to know.
So many things have changed since the last time I set foot in this place. Feels
like sobrang tagal nang hindi ako nagpupunta dito. Parang a lifetime ago na.
Oliver set up tonight para daw magkaron ulit kami ng 'little trio bonding moments'
namin na parang hindi naman nangyayari. It wasn't the same like before. Para bang,
something tainted our friendship.
Heto ang kinakatakot kong mangyari noon. I guess in a way, it was my fault. I gave
in to mother-effing love e. Syempre, something was about to change.
Tapos, parang pissed off pa si Oliver. Even though he was the one who planned and
insisted on making tonight happen, siya yung wala sa mood. He kept shooting glances
at Zeo, while Zeo kept brushing it off naman.
I couldn't take the silence, so I volunteered to get the drinks from the bar. Hindi
kasi yun yung peaceful silence na we used to have.
"Tell your boyfriend to chill out," Jesse told me. "Ain't gonna steal you from
him."
Napatingin ako kay Jesse. I followed where he was looking at, and I saw Zeo staring
this way from our table. He didn't look happy. He didn't look entirely furious
either. Basta he looked ready to charge, as if signal ko nalang inaantay niya.
"He's not my boyfriend," I said quietly, looking away. I wandered my eyes to the
sea of bodies on the dance floor.
I glanced at Jesse. Nakakunot yung forehead niya in wonder. Samantalang ako, patay
malisya lang. Hanggang sa slowly, understanding crossed his features.
I smiled sadly.
No shiz, Sherlock.
"Pa-fall, amputa."
Flabbergasted, napatitig ako sa kanya ng matagal. As in, sobra talaga yung gulat ko
na nakatitig lang ako sa kanya.
Sa kaka-english niya, super duper weird na marinig siyang mag-tagalog tapos may
kasama pang mura tapos malutong pa! Holy shiz!
"You should speak Tagalog more often," sabi ko, natatawa pa rin. "It fits you."
"After what you made me say that day?" he snorted incredulously. "No, thanks."
At that, lalo akong tumawa. Naalala ko yung time na yun. Naka-focus talaga siya nun
tapos minsan confused pa yung expression niya sa sobrang bigat na Tagalog words.
Buti pa kay Jesse, easy lang. Walang complications. Then again, we both know na
we're just friends. Nothing more. Kaya siguro easy lang, kasi alam namin exactly
where we are.
I froze. Instantly tumigil yung tawa ko. I looked up and laid my eyes on the boy
who was making me feel like nakasakay ako sa Flying Fiesta. Sobrang sarap pag nasa
taas kasi yung high nandun pa, pero nakakahilo pala pag nakababa ka na.
Lumingon ako sa bar. I brought my eyes back to Zeo and shook my head. Hindi ko
napigilan, my eyes switched to Jesse who was beside me.
Zeo was forced na rin to look at Jesse, kahit mukhang ayaw niya.
Awkwaaaaaaard.
"Balik ka na sa table," Zeo told me. "You don't have to wait here."
I was about to say something but Jesse piped up, "We're still talking."
"Oh?" Zeo's face looked fairly innocent, but his eyes were full of mock. "Sorry,
pare. 'Di halata e."
Holy mother of shiz. Hindi ko gusto yung aura na nararamdaman kong pumapaligid
sa'min. Kinakabahan ako. Tumataas balahibo ko.
"It takes one to know one," countered Zeo, with a crooked smile.
"I know when to commit, though," shrugged Jesse, a smile playing on his lips.
"Clearly, you don't."
May nagbago sa paningin ni Zeo. It seemed like his eyes blazed, the crooked smile
was still there pero it looked humorless na. Jesse's grin grew wider, obviously
knowing he hit a sore spot.
I looked around for help. Hindi ako sigurado kung kakayanin kong awatin 'tong
dalawa kapag nagkaron ng brawl. Malalaking tao sila. Hindi ako shunga para
pumagitna sa kanila dahil alam kong mayuyupi ako kapag ginawa ko yun.
Nakita ko si Oliver sa table. Using my eyes, I willed him to look this way. He did.
Oh, my God. Buti nalang. It took him one look at the situation here. Tapos, he
quickly stood up and walked papunta dito.
"Couldn't keep your nose out of it, can you?" he told Jesse, his voice amused.
"What, is your life really that boring na?"
Jesse laughed.
Hala. Ano ba ito?! Tumatawa sila na parang may nakakatawa pero wala naman. Parehas
silang nakangiti kahit wala namang pleasant thing na ikinangingiti. The tension was
practically oozing off their skins pero they still managed to act cool?! Yung
totoo, what kind of human beings were they?!
"Stop," I demanded, glaring at both of them. "Oo na, parehas na kayong magaling.
Walang magpapatalo sa inyo - ever. I get it. The whole effing universe gets it.
Now, just stop bago ko kayo pag-jombagin."
Walang sumagot.
Tinaasan niya ako ng kilay, but I glowered and looked away. Medyo amplified din
yung emotions ko dahil may period ako ngayon. Second day pa. Kaya konting kalabit
lang, boom.
Jesse groaned. "Look, I came here to have some fun. Tell this ass to stop being
possessive over someone who's not even his girlfriend."
Ouch.
Ouch din for Zeo, for sure. When I snuck a peek at him, he had a serious face. Ha.
Natamaan ng todo ang kumag that he couldn't even hide his expression.
"I'm outta here," declared Jesse. Tumingin siya sa'kin. When our eyes met, he
nodded in goodbye. Tapos, he patted Oliver on the shoulder as he passed him.
Even after wala na si Jesse, hindi kami nagsasalita ni Zeo. In fact, walang
nagsasalita sa'ming tatlo. There was too much angst.
I could feel Oliver's stare, so I looked up at him. His expression was grave, like
he wasn't too thrilled at what was happening with us - with his friends.
Bigla kong naalala yung time na akala ko nagpaparamdam si Oliver sa'kin. Grabe.
Nakakahiya talagang isipin na pumasok yun sa mind ko. Ang feelingera ko nun. I
completely misread things. He was only looking out for me, like he was looking out
for Zeo.
Like he's looking out for his friends that is so close from ruining the friendship
we built and considered like a safe haven.
How do I know? It's all over his face. Ayaw niyang may magbago. Kaya nga pinilit
niya yung paglabas namin ngayon e. Pero now, alam niyang meron nang iba sa'min.
Alam naming tatlo na may nag-iba na sa'min. Walang may gusto nito. It just
happened. And there's nothing we can do about it but face it.
"You two seriously need to talk," said Oliver, with a tone na sinasabing wala
kaming choice kundi magusap. Tumingin siya kay Zeo, like he was conveying sa silent
message.
Oliver shook his head, before declaring, "Mauna na 'ko." He turned towards the exit
pero tumigil siya saglit to add very seriously, "Talk."
"Tara," yaya ko sa kanya, not waiting for him and heading to the exit.
"Condo mo."
____________
Madalas ako dito sa condo ni Zeo nung sembreak. Nakaka-amaze kung gaano na kadami
ang nangyari since then. To the highest level ang honeymoon stage namin nun.
Ngayon, heto na kami. We're gonna have the 'talk.' I'm not backing down. Paguusapan
namin 'to whether he likes it or not.
While I waited for Zeo to get our hot chocos, I looked around his condo.
Malinis pa rin. Oo, may mga kalat here and there. Lalaki pa rin siya, after all.
Pero nothing too gross. Not much sa mga gamit din, kaya mas lalong na-emphasize
yung pagiging spacious nung lugar. Yung interior design, modern, black, and
screamed of a young man's flat. Walang trophy case or anything kasi inuuwi niya
yung trophies and medals niya sa bahay ng mom and lolo niya.
After a couple more minutes, dumating na si Zeo with the mugs of hot chocos. He sat
beside me on the leather sofa and handed me my mug.
I looked at Zeo, studying his features. Sumasakit puso ko just staring at his
handsome face. Ang haba ng eyelashes niya. Almost perfect yung structure ng face
niya, from jaws to his lips to his nose to his eyes to his brows.
As if sensing my gaze, his eyes wandered to me. The moment our eyes met, all kinds
of feelings engulfed me at once - overwhelming me.
"Ano ba talaga tayo, Zeo?" I asked him, close to pleading him to just tell me.
He looked away and didn't answer, which only made it even worse.
Pagod na 'ko. I'm tired of hoping for something that might not come soon. I'm tired
of feeling so weak. I'm tired of stressing over this.
"I want . . ." he whispered, trailing off. "I just want . . ."
"I want this with you," he admitted, bringing his eyes back to mine. He hesitated,
then added quietly, "Pero kasi . . ."
He frowned and ran a hand through his hair. He looked at anywhere but me.
"Hanggang fling lang ako," I concluded, my voice so quiet I doubted if he heard it.
But he did.
"No!" he told me indignantly, nakatingin na ulit sa'kin. "You're more than that."
"I've never," he paused to take a deep breath. "Never pa 'kong nag-commit. Fuck,
Lana. Natatakot ako."
"Tingin mo hindi ako natatakot? I'm scared din, Zeo." Tumigil ako saglit para
huminga. Shiz. Nanginginig na boses ko. "Unreachable ka e. But still I fell for
you," I continued, my voice finally cracking and tears finally falling. "Nakakainis
ka," I cried, punching him on his shoulder. "You should've stayed away. You
should've stopped me. Ang daya mong kumag ka."
The tears continued to roll down my face as I covered it with my hands. Tuloy tuloy
lang. Ayaw tumigil. Lahat ng inipon kong luha these past weeks, nagsisilabasan
ngayon. Lahat ng sakit poured out with my tears. Hinayaan ko lang.
Suddenly, I felt arms pulling me into a warm hug. Lalo akong naiyak. Ang ironic na
yung object ng pain ko was also the one who was comforting me. Ang ironic na I felt
so safe in his arms when our relationship was never safe from the start.
"I'm sorry," he whispered softly against my hair. "'Di ko napigilan sarili ko."
"The things is, I expected this," I managed to say through my sobs. "Pero hinayaan
ko pa rin, hoping for an effing fairy tale. I brought this to myself."
Hindi ko siya kinontra. Technically, kasalanan din naman niya e. Parehas kaming may
kasalanan. He made me fall for him. And I did.
I followed my list, pero nasaktan pa din ako. Why? Because I broke Rule #1. I
defined his status nga kaso naman I still chose to ignore it.
Rule #20: Accept defeat. Kung hindi gumana yung list, tanggapin mo nalang. There's
no point in deluding yourself that you can still make your crush fall for you.
Kahit gaano ka pa ka-determined, if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Hindi mo
mapipilit yung feelings niya. So just move on, girl. It's over.
Tama na. Naglolokohan lang kami sa ginagawa namin. He'll never commit. And I'll
never be satisfied. Itigil nalang namin.
"Balik nalang tayo to being friends," bulong ko, my tears finally stopping.
He gently leaned away to look me in they eye, probably to see if I was being
serious. When he saw that I was, his expression turned from concerned to serious.
"Anong gusto mo?" I asked him rhetorically. Pinunasan ko yung luha ko and stared at
him in disbelief. "We can't be official. And I have to stop settling for anything
less. Wala tayong claim sa isa't isa, kahit na parang meron. Ang hirap." I shook my
head, my determined face coming on. "I can't wait for you, Zeo."
He genuinely looked pained at what I said. He didn't look away from me as his brows
furrowed, his eyes expressing hurt. Para bang he was silently telling me to take
the words back. Bawiin ko and tell him otherwise.
I'm done.
"Can't we just enjoy the moment?" he asked, almost begging. "'Wag nating hayaan na
i-ruin ng labels 'to."
Hindi siya sumagot. Instead, his eyes turned away from me. He rubbed his face using
his right hand. He looked so lost - so sad. He looked as though he wanted to do
something about this - us - but he got no idea how to fix this. Not right now.
My heart broke. Isang tingin ko lang sa mukha niya, gustong gusto ko nang bawiin
lahat ng sinabi ko. Pero hindi pwede.
"Aren't you?"
Tumingin ulit ako sa kanya. For a moment, tahimik lang kami as our eyes met -
connected like the way it used to be.
I watched as his eyes turned flat. Then, inalis niya uli yung tingin niya sa'kin.
All throughout the night, napansin kong he couldn't seem to stare at me for so
long.
"Shit. I've been dumped," he said, with a smile that didn't reach his eyes.
Napangiti ako dun. I couldn't laugh yet, kaya ngiti nalang muna.
I wasn't happy. Pero parang may malaking bato na umalis sa'kin at nag-vanish off
the face of the universe. Hindi man ako exactly masaya, pero magaang ang loob ko.
It just wasn't meant to be. Hindi talaga kami ni Zeo para sa isa't isa. We were
fooling ourselves that we could pull it off. Ayan tuloy, it didn't end well. At
least, lesson learned.
Sa totoo lang, I didn't regret anything. For a time, I was blissful. Nasa cloud
nine talaga ako nung mga panahon na yun. But it was time to go back down sa lupa
and face reality. I may have ended up broken and hurt, pero hindi ko
pinagsisisihan.
No regrets.
Basta ngayon, I feel relieved.
At twitter . . .
"Salamat," I replied, opening the wrap para makakain na. "Nasan si Kylee?"
Nandito kami ngayon sa usual tambayan namin sa Liberty. Heto yung isa sa mga bench
na kitang kita mo yung Taal Volcano. Dahil uwian na, wala na masyadong nakatambay
kaya feel namin yung serene atmosphere.
"Nag-promise siya na 'wag ko munang sabihin sayo e," teased Cass, grinning.
"Spill!"
"'Di pwedeee."
Nung Christmas pa yun e. It was about time! Grabe, pano kaya dumiskarte yung pinsan
ko na yun? Never pa siyang nagkwento kung exactly paano siya dumidiskarte.
"May date sila ngayon?" I asked Cass.
"Talaga," she agreed. "Text pa nga lang, ramdam na ramdam ko nang sumisigaw siya ng
'ayeee' sa utak niya. Kahit sinasabi niyang ayaw niya kay Benjo, obvious namang
kinikilig yun."
I stiffened at the mention of the name. Napansin ni Cass yung reaction ko kasi
nagiba yung expression ng mukha niya.
Wala akong balita sa kahit sino sa Manila boys since last week. Si Oliver, tumawag
lang nung Sunday. After that, wala na. Pati si Zeo, ganun din. Parang binaliwala
niya yung sinabi kong maging friends nalang kami. I meant it. Sayang yung
friendship e.
MIA silang dalawa sa buhay ko this past week, which was probably the longest na
wala kaming communication sa isa't isa since after ng hell week last year. Wala
namang social networks si Oliver, tapos hindi na rin ako pala-check sa mga ganun ko
kasi busy ako sa pagaasikaso sa events ng school.
Si Jesse lang ang nakakausap ko, pero twice lang din kaming nagka-text this week. I
texted him to say sorry nung Monday. And of course, he was cool about it. Yun pa.
Hindi ko ina-apply yung list sa kanya kasi friends lang kami. In a way nga, we
friendzoned each other e. Seryoso. I guess we both want to treasure our easy
friendship.
Hindi ko alam ang iisipin ko dun kina Zeo at Oliver. Is our friendship over? Ganun
nalang yun? After ng ilang months naming pagsasama, pagiging sobrang close, POOF!
Ni ha ni ho, wala.
Tapos, napaka laking coincidence naman yun na nasakto pa after naming mag DTR
(Define The Relationship) ni Zeo, tsaka sila mawawala. Duh. Syempre, mapapaisip ako
dun.
Sinubo ko yung huling piece ng waffle, before leaning back at the bench and closing
my eyes. I focused on the taste of what I was eating. After I swallowed, I opened
my eyes and the Taal Volcano came to view.
Ahhh. Peaceful.
"Yup."
He smiled, the meaningful one like he was having an inside joke to himself.
"'Starting over'?" I asked incredulously. "Ano na namang pakana 'to, Ollie? After
niyong hindi magparamdam pagtapos nung nangyari, bubulagin mo 'ko? 'Wag ganun."
BOOM! Parang sapul ako sa mukha ng déjà vu moment. Those exact words came out of
his mouth that first hangout we had. Yun din yung eksaktong pose niya kanina nung
unang punta niya dito.
"Tara na," yaya niya, turning around and heading to his car.
Parang nage-gets ko na yung sinabi niyang starting over kami. Edi gagawin namin
yung mga ginawa namin nung unang araw ng little trio bonding moments namin na yun?
After all, that was basically the day that changed everything for the three of us.
Wala naman sigurong mawawala sa'kin dito kung bibigyan ko ng chance yung sinasabi
ni Oliver. Sabi nga niya, we were starting over. So we all had clean slates
somehow.
"Ang lakas ng trip niyo," I murmured to myself as I put my seat belt on, shaking my
head in amusement.
Nasa road na kami when It's Time by Imagine Dragons began playing on his stereo. I
whipped my head so fast to look at him.
He grinned. I laughed.
"Alam mo yung The Lumineers?" I asked him, smiling at how silly we were being but
also knowing that I loved it.
"Yeah, wait," he said, kinakalikot yung iPod niya na naka-connect sa stereo ng car.
That song reminds me of the earlier episodes of Reign, nung wala pa masyadong chaos
sa buhay nila Francis and Mary. Ewan ko. Listening to it calms me.
He chuckled.
I ignored him and just listened to the song. At some point, hindi ko namalayang
kinakanta ko na ng pabulong yung lyrics while staring outside the window.
Tumingin ako sa paligid and realized na malapit na kami sa MOA. As Oliver looked
for a vacant spot to park at, nagsalita siya.
"Sure," I smiled.
"Good."
Dumeretso kami sa Charmuel's Cuisine from the parking lot. Naisip ko tuloy kung
iisa-isahin ba talaga namin yung mga ginawa namin dati. Nakaka-aliw in some way.
Pero parang wala ako sa mood na pumuntang Haut tonight.
We entered the place, and I followed Oliver to . . . Of course. Pinili din nila
yung exact table nung first hangout namin. 'Di ko napigilan ang sarili ko.
I laughed wholeheartedly.
Sa sobrang silliness ng trip namin ngayon, hindi na ako nagkaron ng time para
maging awkward makita ulit si Zeo. Mas napupuno yung self ko ng tuwa - sa effort
nila, sa trip nila, and sa will nila to make our friendship work again.
He looked at me the way he did before Baguio. Parang ako uli si Lana, his Simba,
one of his best friends. He looked confident, not at all the guy na kausap ko nung
Saturday night na full with uncertainty. It was as though 'us' never happened. He
did what I asked him to.
Sa totoo lang, I couldn't ask for more. Thankful ako na sinunod niya 'ko.
"No, not really," replied Zeo, 'di natinag kasi naka-plaster pa rin yung ngiti niya
sa mukha niya e. "It's supposed to make other people laugh, which Olle just did."
"Hey," protested Oliver, looking up from the menu. "Leave me out of it."
I scanned the menu, taking my time. When I found something I liked, sinabi ko dun
sa waitress. She nodded and turned to take the boys' order, making me look at them.
I missed this so much. Kaya siguro sila MIA this past week, kasi talagang pinag-
planuhan nila 'to. Siguro, MIA din sila with each other. Para talagang may effect
yung 'starting over' namin na 'to.
Syempre, it doesn't change the fact na meron talaga kaming history ni Zeo. Hindi
yun mabubura. But the thing is, we were friends before all the shiz complicated
everything. It almost ruined us. Pero heto na nga oh. Start from the beginning.
Friends uli.
One thing I learned from experience is kapag friends kami sa simula, kaya naming
maging friends even after the 'break-up' kasi we know how to be friends. Unlike dun
sa mga nagsimula ng may connection na agad na kapag nag 'break-up' e hindi na
talaga kayang maging friends, kasi hindi nila alam kung paano maging ganun dahil
hindi sila ever naging ganun.
Oo, I'm still in love with Zeo. It won't easily go away like that. Pero kaya ko
namang tanggapin na hanggang friends lang kami kasi alam ko sa sarili ko na
mawawala din 'to in time. Maybe not now. Maybe not tomorrow or next week. But
someday.
Kaya habang nagaantay ako sa time sa magle-level down yung pagka 'in love' ko sa
kanya to 'love' nalang, I'll focus on what's happening right now. I'll focus on
restarting our friendship. I'll focus on restoring our little trio bonding moments!
Pagkatapos nilang mag-order, ngumiti ako sa kanila as I recalled the really fun
things we did after we ate here.
"After dito, bowling tayo," I told them excitedly. Totoo, excited ako kasi ang
tagal ko nang hindi nagbo-bowling kasama sila.
"Pero bago yun," I stopped them, raising a finger, "I'll defeat you both sa
bowling."
Neither of them disagreed, which made me look smug. Alam kasi nila na tama ako. Dun
ko na nga lang sila natatalo e, sasagarin ko na.
This is starting to feel like old times again. I just hope this aura lasts through
the night.
On my defense, hindi ko kasalanan na maraming aggressive fans at this time and age.
Madami ding bruhang assumera at pakielamera na wala sa lugar nila. Ang sarap lang
nilang hambalusin ng malaking tank ng tubig para magising.
Alam mo yun, kung kailan wala nang 'something' sa'min ni Zeo, tsaka sila umariba sa
mga pakikielam nila. Badtrip. Pero sobrang nakakainis talaga yung mukhang
sinindihang posporo na sumuntok sa'kin! Yun talaga e.
Aba, kasalanan ko bang nasa tabi ko Zeo habang nanunuod kami ng race ni Oliver?
Kasalanan ko bang kinurot niya yung pisngi ko na ginagawa na naman niya even before
pa kami magkaron ng 'something'? Kasalanan ko bang hindi na uma-attend si Zeo ng
training nila with the volleyball team?
Pinigilan naman ni Tracy yung kaibigan niya na nagskandalo. Bigla nalang kasing
nag-demand sa'kin na bakit ko daw inaagaw si Zeo kay Tracy. Blah blah blah. Pero
seryoso, mukhang ayaw talaga ni Tracy yung ginawa nung kaibigan niya.
Queen of Faking It ako, diba? Kaya kita ko talaga na nahiya siya sa'kin. She might
have liked the attention and the ship but I guessed she didn't want it to come to
the point of this. Over na rin naman kasi yung kaibigan niya. My gulay.
Besides, the bitch who hit me got what she deserved. Hahayaan ko bang masuntok ako
tapos hindi ako gaganti? Hindi pwede yun. Hindi ako tinuruan ng mga pinsan ko na
lumaban para lang sa wala.
Ayun, sinipa ko si Ms. Posporo reflexively. Sa waist lang, kasi yun lang naabot ko
e. Medyo napalakas nga ata yung sipa ko kasi natumba siya agad. Weak.
Gaganti pa dapat si Ms. Posporo pagtayo niya pero tinalikod na ako ni Zeo, as if
shielding me from further attacks.
I admit, kinilig ng konti yung butterflies ko sa tiyan when he did that. Pero hindi
tulad ng dati na nagpa-panic pa 'ko tuwing mararamdaman ko yun. Ngayon, hinayaan ko
nalang.
Someone burst out laughing beside me, bringing me back to the present. I looked at
him with a bored expression, my right hand softly caressing the bruise on my cheek.
Nafi-feel ko na yung sting.
"I was honestly about to step in and tell her off," said Zeo, chortling while
trying to keep his eyes on the road. "Pero nakita ko na you had the situation under
control so I let you handle it. That kick, though." Tumawa ulit siya.
"Sorry," he cleared his throat, trying to be serious. "We should ice that bruise."
"Sa Statique na," sabi ko, tumitingin sa labas para tignan kung nasan na kami.
Dasma na. Ilang minutes nalang, nasa Tagaytay na kami. I glanced at the side mirror
and saw Oliver still following us.
At dahil nasa race ulit siya, hindi niya nakita ang nangyari kanina. When he found
out, he wasn't too happy. Yung snobbish and uber sungit personality niya, lumabas
kanina while he looked at Ms. Posporo's group.
Totoo yun. Nilapitan niya kanina yung grupo nila Tracy after mangyari yun.
Nakatalikod si Zeo, kaya hindi ko nakita kung ano expression ng mukha nila. Pero I
saw them flinch. Hindi ko lang sure kung ano yung sinabi niya.
Hindi ko alam kung ako lang, or excited ba kaming lahat. Sobrang tagal na since the
last time na nandito kami. We were all looking forward to watching the sun rise
together. After all, that sort of sealed our friendship.
Nauna na akong umakyat sa kanila, picking our self-proclaimed table with the
perfect view of the sunset. Lumiliwanag na naman kaya medyo kita na yung Taal
Volcano, bukod sa maliliit na city lights sa baba.
"Here you go," said Oliver, as he handed me my frappe. He placed another one sa
table for Zeo, before finally settling himself sa usual seat niya.
"Thank you!" I giggled, thrilled at what was happening with us. Nakakatuwa yung
trip namin. It brought back so many memories while also creating new ones.
I immediately winced sa sakit ng bruise nung ngumiti ako. Shiz naman. Wrong timing
talaga yung bruise. Badtrip.
"Don't worry, kumuha na si Zeo ng ice," Oliver informed me, noticing my reaction.
As if on cue, dumating si Zeo with a little white face towel on his hand and a grin
on his face. He sat down and pulled his chair closer to mine.
"Oy, saglit!" napasigaw ako sa gulat from what he did. "W - What do you think
you're doing?" I demanded, leaning as far away from him as I could.
Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay, hindi nagpapa-apekto sa charm niya kahit ang lakas lakas
na ng force at nahihirapan na akong umilag.
"Kaya ko on my own, thank you," I told him, reaching for the towel with the ice in
it.
Nilayo niya from my reach. Duh. Syempre, dehins ako nagpatalo sa kanya. I leaned up
para maabot ko, pero his arm was too long. I leaned up more, basically squatting on
tiptoes, my right hand reaching for the towel while my left hand searched for
something to hold for balance. Pero na out of balance na ako.
SHIZ.
Yung kamay ko . . .
FUDGE.
Tumingin ako kaagad kung san nahulog yung left hand ko.
Agad agad kong binawi yung kamay ko. OH, MY GOD. Punong puno ako ng kahihiyan.
Ayokong tumingin sa kanya. Hindi ako makatingin sa kanya. Nakakahiya! Sa dinami-
dami ng aksidenteng mahahawakan, yung ano niya pa!
Lalo pa 'kong nahiya to the highest level when I heard Zeo laughing his damn ass
off at what just happened. Nagiinit na nga yung mukha ko from embarrassment e.
Sumilip ako kay Oliver at nakitang nakakanganga siya. Wow. Okay, first time
makitang shocked ng ganito si Oliver na his mouth was open. After a couple more
seconds, he covered his face with his right hand and started shaking his head. I
was pretty sure I caught a wide smile behind his hand.
"Ayan kasi," piped up the person I didn't wanna see right now. "Kulit mo e. If you
just let me take care of that bruise, edi sana tapos na."
Huminga ako ng malalim before facing him. Na caught off guard ako when I saw that
he had his uber sexy smile on. Anak ng tokwa. Ang gwapo niya talaga.
May point siya dun. Pero still, hindi niya kailangang gawin 'to.
"Edi even na tayo kasi nagka-bruise ka din dati because of me, diba?"
"Yeah, and I let you put the ice on my face. So let me do it this time."
Taking that as a yes, he smiled and cautiously leaned forward. He turned my face by
my chin and gently patted the bruise on my cheek with the ice.
I winced at the cold contact. At first, iniwasan kong tumingin sa kanya. Pero sa
sobrang lapit niya, impossible na hindi ako mapapatingin sa kanya at some point.
And when I did, nagsisisi ako na hindi ako tumingin sa gwapo niyang mukha kanina
pa.
Then, I realized something. I paused admiring his features long enough to notice
that his focus wasn't on the bruise.
His eyes were on me - watching me, studying me. Para bang mine-memorize niya yung
mukha ko? Like what I was doing with him. (Thank goodness wala akong pimples
ngayon.)
"Alam kong maganda 'ko," I whispered, "pero baka malusaw na 'ko niyan."
He blinked, his eyes automatically finding mine. Nang ma-realize niyang nahuli siya
sa pagtitig sa'kin, he laughed. He didn't even look ashamed of it.
Suddenly, I heard a click. Napatingin ako agad kay Oliver. He was gazing at the
view, his right hand on his coffee while the other one on his phone placed on his
lap.
Before I could ask kung narinig ba niya yung narinig ko, the sun began to rise.
Heto na. Yung pinaka-aantay naming tatlo.
Medyo weird siguro na ito yung ulitmate favorite thing to do naming tatlo tuwing
magkakasama kami. Pero iba kasi talaga sa feeling e.
The sun rising symbolizes hope. Hope for a new beginning, a good start. It reminds
us that whatever we did yesterday, we can make up for today. It tells us that no
matter how hopeless something may seem to be, there's still another chance to have
a go at it.
Last Saturday, I could've sworn that things wouldn't go back to the way it used to
be. Ang labo na talaga. But then, they came up with the super duper brilliant idea
of starting over our friendship. Katulad nung sa kauna-unahan naming hangout.
Perhaps the past couldn't be changed, but the future could surely be rewritten.
At twitter . . .
@TheZeoAlcante: Not liking her for me doesn't give you the right to attack her.
STOP. She doesn't deserve the hate. #pissedoffsofuckoff
_____________
THE END.
(No Epilogue)
.
.
Special day e. Plus, yun na rin ang last university event namin for this school
year. Kaya kailangan talaga na bongga.
After going through the check list one last time for today, I declared myself
dismissed. Nagsimula na 'kong ayusin yung gamit ko para makauwi na at makapag-chill
sa bahay.
Besides, nawi-weirdohan na ako sa tingin sa'kin ni Rica. She looked like she was
trying to figure something out. And I know kung ano yun.
I wasn't about to tell her na wala na kaming 'something' ni Zeo. Kahit na it had
been a month since nung breakdown ko that night, medyo raw pa rin sa'kin yung
topic. The way I felt for Zeo still hadn't changed. Konting patience pa siguro,
mawawala na rin 'to.
I said goodbye to the people in the room, who were doing some last-minute retouches
pa sa mga signs and props for tomorrow. Umalis na 'ko, taking a detour para
makadaan sa usual tambayan namin ng girlfriends ko.
On the brighter side, the things with Zeo and Oliver were really going great.
Things were back to the way it was. The flirting went down a notch, pero the
sarcastic banters were still there.
Sometimes, I wonder what if hindi ko kinausap si Zeo about 'us'. If I had a little
more patience to wait for him, would things have changed for the better? Or would
it turn out even worse that we couldn't even be friends na talaga?
My phone vibrated, pulling me out of my thoughts. Nakatayo pala ako sa may favorite
bench namin nila Cass and Kylee as I stared off to space.
I frowned at my phone. Wala ba 'tong mga pasok bukas? Well, si Zeo walang pasok
talaga kasi their classes end on Thursday. Pero si Oliver? Gabi na, tapos biglang
naisipang pumunta dito. Napaka random talaga nitong dalawa kahit kailan.
I took one last look at the dark view, with the city lights below, then took off.
I'd be lying if I said na hindi ako nagmadali palabas ng school. Buti nalang,
nakita ko si Ryan na pasakay palang ng kotse niya.
"Ryan!" I called, running towards him. "Pasabay naman oh. Dyan lang ako sa Sky
Ranch."
"Thank you!" I said, before opening the passenger's car door. When I settled myself
on the seat, I told him, "Akala ko magkasama kayo ni Cass."
"Umuwi lang sandali kasi nandun yung baby ng Ate niya," explained Ryan, putting his
Mustang on gear. "Ikaw, ba't ka pupunta sa Sky Ranch?"
Hindi ko alam kung bakit nag-hesitate ako. Siguro kasi understood nang kasama si
Zeo, and alam ni Ryan na nagtapos na ang pagiging mag-MU namin.
His brows raised in surprise, but he didn't say anything. At least, hindi siya nag-
comment tungkol dun. Tapos, bigla siyang nagtanong.
"Nagbubukas ka ba ng twitter?"
Napatingin ako sa kanya in confusion. His face was unreadable as he focused on the
road while driving. Napaka out of the blue nung tanong niya na it took a long while
before it mag-sink in sa utak ko.
"Anytime," he saluted.
I closed the door and he drove away. Nilabas ko ang phone ko at tinawagan si Zeo.
On the second ring, sumagot siya.
"Yo."
"Kenny Rogers," he said. "We ordered your food." Before I could ask, he chuckled as
he added, "Oo, we didn't forget your beloved mac 'n' cheese."
I grinned, half-running na. Nanlalasap na 'ko! Ngayon ko lang na-realize yung gutom
ko. Kaninang lunch pa pala yung huli kong kain, sa sobrang busy ko sa Student
Council Room.
I hung up and almost ran to the entrance. Hindi naman ganun karami ang tao kasi
weeknight, kaya it wasn't that hard to spot them. Dali-dali akong pumunta sa
kanila. Saktong sine-serve na yung pagkain.
YUMMEH.
"I'm starving," I said, my eyes never leaving the food laid out on the table.
I could hear Zeo and Oliver laughing at me. Pero wapakels ako. Nagugutom ako e.
Atsaka, sanay na naman sila sa'kin na ganito kumain kapag gutom. Walang kinakausap.
Kain lang ng kain na parang walang kasama.
Nung medyo may laman na tiyan ko at hindi na galit ang sikmura ko, tumingin ako sa
kanila and finally acknowledged their presence.
"No classes," simply said Zeo, before taking a bite of his chicken.
I hesitantly nodded. "Where I've always wanted to study; sa Soledad. Mas convenient
din kasi yun dahil may condo na si Benjo near the place. Graduating na rin naman si
Dex, so he'll move out and will be long gone before I move in." With the last word,
I put a spoonful of spaghetti in my mouth.
Jesse and I aren't even that close like I am with Zeo or Oliver. Pero nagkakasundo
kami na masasabi mong good friends kami somehow. Purely platonic ang relationship
namin kaya magkausap lang kami kapag bored siya or bored ako.
"Looking forward sa next school year," said Zeo to no one in particular, stretching
his arms wide. Kulang nalang mag-yawn din siya. He looked adorable.
"I bet you are," Oliver muttered under his breath, with a meaningful smile.
I looked at him curiously. Anong ibig niyang sabihin? Andami na talaga nilang
sikreto sa'kin. Madaya. Tsk.
"Baka masuntok na naman ako," I explained. "Ma-suspend pa 'ko ng hindi oras for
kicking some student's face."
"Subukan lang nila," he added under his breath, letting out a small chuckle.
"Kaya ka ba excited sa next school year kasi makikita mo ulit si Tracy?" I blurted
out, before I could stop myself.
Shiz. Baka isipin ng kumag na nagseselos ako. Kahit hindi naman. No. Hindi kaya.
He immediately turned his eyes on me - watching me. Lumakas yung heartbeat ko. Yung
mga tingin niyang ganyan na nahuhuli ko ang isang bagay na nakakapag paisip sa'kin
if all his 'friendship only' treatment was fake. And if deep inside, meron pa ring
spark sa'min.
Friends lang din naman tayo ah. That didn't mean na wala tayong history.
As if reading my mind, he added, "She's not type. Never has, never will be." It
looked like he wanted to add more but he didn't.
"Sino ba type mo?" tanong ni Oliver kay Zeo, his eyes twinkling in a silent tease.
Zeo's lips stretched out into his uber sexy crooked smile.
"Hey, remember that research thing we did last year?" he said instead, completely
ignoring Oliver's question and changing the subject.
My curiosity peaked at the mention of that research that was the reason why we were
all here right now. Together.
"Yeah," nodded Zeo. "Successful daw. Three out of five groups remained friends
after that, including us."
"Well," I started, "kapag nakita mo si Sir Daniel Chavez, tell him my thanks."
We were silent for a long while, taking in the fact that our friendship started out
as an experiment that ended up as a choice.
After a few more minutes, Oliver asked for the bill. Lumipat kami sa Statique Cafe.
Dala nila yung kanya-kanya nilang mga sasakyan, as always. We hung out there for
hours, talking about everything that came to mind.
"Nag-text yung friend ko," he explained, seeing my expression. "It's kinda urgent.
I have to go."
Zeo and Oliver exchanged knowing looks, causing me to frown in frustration at their
silent conversation. In front of other people, I was included in that. Pero kapag
kaming tatlo lang, nako. Umaapaw ng bromance.
"Sige," said Oliver, grabbing his leather jack off his chair. With one last nod, he
turned and left. He looked like he was hurrying.
Zeo stood up and walked over to the railing, leaning over it. With nothing else to
do, sinundan ko siya and positioned myself next to him. We let the calm silence
engulfed us as we looked at the city lights below us.
I closed my eyes and felt the cold wind breeze against my face.
"There's this dude," he continued, his eyes focused afar. "He likes to go out and
party. Meet people, flirt with girls. Live the most out of his youth. He was
satisfied with everything. He didn't bother with his studies, though. Kaya he
almost failed a couple of his classes. Napilitan tuloy siyang mag-volunteer for his
university's research program to make up for it."
I stared at him. He was talking about himself. Bakit parang kinakabahan ako?
"Four weeks lang naman e. He thought it'd be easy. And it was. Ang 'di lang niya
ine-expect, he'd meet two of his best friends from it. In his life kasi, it's hard
to find true friends. He's damn lucky. But here's the tricky part . . ."
Oh, my God.
"'Di niya in-acknowledge at first. Kaso it was hard to ignore something that was
right in his face. So he accepted it. Kahit na he feared as hell that he might ruin
their friendship."
"Tapos nagulat siya kasi the girl felt the same. He then started to express himself
more. He couldn't stop himself. Dream girl niya, nasa reality na niya e."
Yung tibok ng puso ko, sobrang lakas na. I kept my mouth shut. I wanted to hear
more. Grabe. Sinong hindi? He was confessing his side of the story!
"He didn't think much of the risk as he took it recklessly. What came next became
the best weeks of his life," he said, softly smiling up to the starry night sky. It
was as if he was recalling precious moments. "He couldn't remember being happier.
He loved every minute with the girl."
Naluluha ako, pero I kept the tears from falling. Hindi pa siya tapos magkwento.
He sighed. "Kaso he screwed up. Naunahan ng takot. May trauma kasi siya sa
relationships, seeing what happened to his parents. He was skeptical of the thought
of 'true love' dahil dun. Hindi siya naniniwala basta basta."
"Then, the girl cried in front of him." He took a deep breath, his fists gripping
the iron railing. "He didn't like it. He hated it. 'Di siya makatingin ng maayos sa
girl kasi feeling niya dinudurog yung pinaka-mahalagang tao sa buhay niya. Masaklap
pa, siya yung dahilan."
Yun pala ang reason why he couldn't look at me straight in the eye that night. Yun
pala ang reason why he kept looking away from me.
"The thought . . . of losing the girl scared the shit out of him." He shook his
head. "But he couldn't do anything unless he was sure. Gusto niya, absolutely sure
siya bago pumasok sa isang bagay na seryoso. Gusto niyang alamin muna sa sarili
niya kung kaya ba niya yung responsibility ng commitment bago siya pumasok sa ganun
kasi ayaw niyang mag-backout bigla." He stopped, his eyes finally finding mine.
"Gusto niya na if he's in, he's in for good."
Sa sobrang lakas at bilis ng tibok ng puso ko, feeling ko hindi na ako makahinga.
Hindi ko maalis yung tingin ko sa kanya. Para bang, he was holding me in place with
the use of his warm brown eyes.
"The douchebag let her go," he answered in the same whispered tone. "Tapos nun, he
couldn't go to school for a week."
"Yeah, I was too busy keeping my shit together. I was coming up with a way to get
you back. Ollie made me realize something that time . . . Fact is, committed na 'ko
sayo even without the labels."
Napahawak ako sa chest ko, right by my heart. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ko hinawakan
yun. Parang the information was too much. It was all too much. Whether it was a
good thing or a bad thing, hindi ko alam. Too many emotions swirling around me.
"Pero you treated me like you used to," sabi ko sa kanya. "Walang kahit anong trace
na naging more than friends tayo. I know I asked us to be friends again, but . . .
it stung a bit."
"Ikaw din kaya, hiding behind that poker face of yours," he countered. "Besides,
that's not true at all. You caught me staring at you while I was icing your
bruise." He smiled, amusement filling his eyes. "Gusto na talaga kitang i-kiss nun.
In fact, I want to kiss you all the time. Even now." His lips flew to my lips.
"I wanted to take my time," sabi niya, his eyes still not leaving my lips. Then,
they went back to my eyes. His expression was serious. "Ayokong isipin mo na I only
wanted you back because I couldn't differentiate love from need. I didn't want you
to doubt yourself."
Holy shiz. I wanted to kiss him right then and there. But he didn't look like he
was finished with his little speech yet. Kaya hiyaan ko lang siya. Minsan lang 'to
mangyari. I wanted to savor every moment of it.
"Gusto kong malaman mo na I really did fall in love with you." He grimaced,
squeezing his eyes shut as if he said something wrong. "Shit, wait."
Hala. Nire-regret niya na sinabi niyang he fell in love with me? Ouch.
"Pano ba . . . ?" He took a deep breath. His eyes found mine again. They were full
of emotion that I couldn't name. "I'm not sure if this" (gestures between us) "is
love already. One thing I'm rock solid sure about is that . . ." He sighed, running
a hand through his hair. "I'm fucking crazy about you. Madly and deeply crazy about
you. And if this isn't love, then I don't know what is."
Nakikita ko yung sarili ko sa kanya. He has the same look as I do whenever I stare
at myself in the mirror. He doesn't know how to describe it kasi hindi pa niya
nararanasan before, pero alam niya kung gaano kabigat yung nararamdaman niya.
"I know," he nodded in defeat. "Cliché na I only realized how I felt after I lost
you. But I'm not perfect. And I'll understand if it's too late." He bit his lip. "I
just - I just want you to know that I've known your worth from the start. I just
didn't have enough balls to acknowledge the fact that you're it."
That's enough for me. Fudge, that's more than enough for me.
As if acting on their own, my hands pulled him towards me and my lips kissed him. I
didn't let go. For one tiny moment, he froze in startle. But then, he slowly
relaxed. His arms went around my waist, pulling me closer.
His kisses were slow, taking its time. Like he took his with me. I was getting lost
in him yet again. But this time, it was different. Good different.
Hindi ko alam exactly how long we stayed like that. Ang alam ko lang, I didn't want
to let go and I wanted to stay like that for so long to make up for the lost time.
Finally, I pulled away. Sabay sabi ng, "It's not too late." My eyes were still
closed as I tried to catch my breath.
Tumawa siya, hugging me. It felt like he didn't want to let go, as well.
Yes, nauna yung kiss bago ligaw. Wala e. 'Di ko napigilan sarili ko. Who could
resist him naman, diba? At least, hindi ko nasuko yung virginity ko. (Ehem, yet?)
Shucks. Na-miss ko din yung pagtawag niya sa'kin ng 'Simba.' Ever since that night
kasi hindi na namin tinatawag yung isa't isa by our nicknames. It held too many
memories, emotions.
"It wasn't necessary in the past," he said defensively. "Tayo nalang kasi."
I laughed. Ang gwapo niya talaga. He looked adorable being childish like that.
I pretended to think about it. Nakakatuwa na siya naman yung namimilit na maging
kami ngayon. Hmm. Hindi pala ako dapat mag-inarte o mag-pakipot. Konti lang.
"I'll let you know bukas," I grinned, loving the power I had over him. Malakas ang
loob ko kasi this time, I knew we were even with our feelings.
I wanted him officially mine. Legally off limits to anyone but me. Bwahaha!
***
So nakatulog lang talaga kami nung hinatid niya ko kaninang madaling araw. Hindi pa
muna siya umuwi. We talked. Non-stop talking, like we used to.
It was funny how things we did were done before pero the feelings were all renewed.
There was assurance now - commitment.
I smiled at his sleeping face. I ran a finger along his eyebrows, his nose, his
lips, his chin, to his jaw. I giggled when he was still sleeping.
Grabe. I feel so giddy right now. This handsome creature was mine.
Mine.
OH, MY GOD.
I automatically got up, mumbling a sorry to a sleeping Zeo. Madali akong tumakbo
papunta sa bathroom. I took a quick shower and dressed up. Hindi na 'ko nag-bother
na maglagay ng too much make-up kahit na big event sa school. All the more reason
not to wear too much make-up. Mawawala din sa pawis. Kaya BB cream lang, okay na.
When I got out of the bathroom, Zeo was yawning at the edge of my bed. He grinned
when he saw me.
Isa sa mga favorite kong pakinggan ang sleepy morning voice ni Zeo. Umaapaw sa
hotness. Unfortunately, I can't enjoy for much long.
"Good morning, Mufasa," I replied, running around my room. "Late na 'ko. I gotta
help set up sa school." I picked up things needed and shoved them in my bag. "Kain
ka muna ng breakfast before you go home."
It wasn't long before he came down after me. I headed straight to the door when he
reached the bottom stair.
He pursed his lips, but didn't say anything as I closed the door and walked with
him towards his SUV. He understood the urgency in my actions, kaya naman mabilis
lang din kami makarating ng school.
First time niyang ginawa 'to. I mean, first time niyang lumabas ng sasakyan dito sa
Liberty. All those times na sinusundo niya 'ko, hindi siya bumababa ng sasakyan.
Ever.
"Thanks, Mufasa," I told him, ignoring the stares we were receiving. May mga nakita
akong nagbubulungan na. I tiptoed and hugged him. "Ingat ka."
"Kiss ko?"
Napanganga ako. Seryoso ba siya? Tinitigan ko siya and realized na seryoso nga
siya! He wanted to do it now. In front of everyone.
"Landi mo."
"So what if I am?" he said in that confident way he did. "Girlfriend kita. I have a
right na," he added. As though realizing what he said, he flashed me his uber sexy
smile.
Napangiti na rin ako. Badtrip. I could feel the butterflies rejoicing in me.
"Don't overthink kasi." Sabay hila sa kamay ko papunta sa kanya, kissing me full on
the lips. It was only a smack naman. "See you later?"
"Why?"
"You think I'll let my girlfriend starve?" he asked me in disbelief. "Uh, no."
"Burger ah," I informed him, kahit na alam kong alam naman niya yung gusto ko.
"Large coke. Large fries na din."
He leaned forward and gently kissed me on the forehead. Na-miss ko din 'to ng
sobra. Andami kong na-miss. Pero this time, iba na talaga e. There was more to it.
Every look.
Every move.
Every word.
I sighed in satisfaction.
He chuckled at that. "See you later." He pulled away and went to his side of the
vehicle. With one last grin at me, he climbed inside and went off to buy me food.
I was so lost in my own little world habang naglalakad papasok ng school. Hindi ko
napapansin yung mga tingin na natatanggap ko. Sa totoo lang, I didn't care.
I was happy. Blissfully happy. Even more so than the time when we were still on the
honeymoon stage late last year. This time, alam kong it will last kasi lahat ng
issues namin are laid out and resolved.
No complications na.
My phone vibrated. Agad kong kinuha from my pocket and binuksan, in case it was
Zeo. Pero hindi siya yung nag-text.
It was Oliver.
Curious, I opened his iMessage.
I blinked at the photo he sent me. It was a snapshot of our very first meeting.
Yung kamay ko na may hawak na towel na may ice, nasa cheek ni Zeo kasi he had a
bruise. We were staring at each other, looking into each other's eyes.
My eyes wandered to the message Oliver sent along with the photo.
Ngumiti ako.
He knew it from the start, even if neither Zeo and I knew it yet.
Akala ko dati, my List worked. Siguro naman, it did in some ways. Pero sa totoo
lang, hindi fully kasi I broke some of them. Tapos, hindi naman agad nag-commit si
Zeo. Depende rin sa lalaki yan. Hindi naman kasi sa lahat, nagwo-work yung List.
Some guys like honesty, some guys don't like games, and some guys like girls for
being girls. It's a never-ending puzzle.
Minsan, it takes more than one heartbreak to finally find the right man for you.
There's no such thing as perfect or ideal. There's only that right one made exactly
for you.
Using my List or not, I just hope other girls out there find their Zeo. I hope din
na they have the patience. I hope na hindi nila isipin that the next guy that comes
around e yun na agad. Lastly, I hope they realize their worth and not settle for
anything less.
At twitter . . .
Second, THANK YOU. Thank you so much for going on this ride with Lana. Thank you
for cheering her, relating with her, crying with her. Grabe hindi ko aakalaing
iiyak ako. Naiiyak ako. Haha! A few minutes ago, parang wala lang. Nawe-weirdohan
ako kasi bakit parang wala lang sakin na iu-upload ko na yung last chapter ng
Lana's List pero now that I'm typing this, I'm really getting emotional. :'( Thank
you talaga sa pagbasa at pagsuporta nitong storyang ito. It meant everything to me
kasi I truly created the list to protect myself. And now I've shared it with you. I
hope it helps you din in ways that it helped me be confident. This is my first
Taglish story, and I'm so very thankful na it received warm feedbacks. Maraming
maraming salamat po talaga. :)
Third, kung may tanong pa po kayo about Lana's List or the List Series, ask in the
comments. I'll answer them in a video. Gusto kong gumawa ng video saying my thanks.
It feels a bit more personal that way. :)
He's here.
I could hear his deep voice slice through the quiet night.
He was wearing a blue striped long-sleeved shirt, pulled up by the elbows. His
black hair was in a mess, making that bad boy look incredibly sexy with his gentle
face. Mukhang galing siya somewhere far and cold.
Tagaytay? He always went there. The group wondered for a while last year kung bakit
madalas siya dun. Eventually, we found out that he became friends with Zeo Alcante.
Akala ko, imagination ko lang when I heard his voice as I passed by the glass
doors. Naka earphones din kasi ako kaya I wasn't sure. I had to pull one out to be
certain.
I'm somewhat thankful to my nightly routine to get a glass of water from the
kitchen. If not, wala akong idea that he was even here.
Oliver rarely shows up like this. To talk to my brother. With tons of beers.
Looking very serious and troubled.
"Is that why you brought her to the family thing you had last New Year's day?"
asked my brother, Jesse.
Oh. Siya din pala. Uncharacteristic of my brother to look serious. He was usually
laid-back. But tonight, it was as if Oliver's problem was his problem as well.
"Oo," breathed out Oliver, staring at the bottle in his hand. "I was confused back
then. After namin magusap ni Auds, I started . . . looking at her in a different
way. I tried to stop it, but it just kept slipping sometimes."
I frowned. Who was 'her'? They couldn't be talking about Audrey kasi I knew she
went back to the States before Christmas.
Wait lang. I remember seeing Oliver with a girl at Silvestre around December last
year. Yun ba yung 'her' that they were talking about? Lana, I think her name is?
"You let him have her, though," replied Jesse, bringing the beer bottle to his
lips.
"I did," finally admitted Oliver, looking calm. He didn't look defeated.
Hindi ko maintindihan what was going on. He let some guy take this girl he liked?
Or starting to like? Pero he didn't look sad or angry. He just looked calm, like he
already accepted his fate long ago.
"What isn't?"
"Us. Me." He paused. "I admit that Audrey's right. I like her."
My heart broke at the sound of his voice. There was only a tinge of sadness in it.
More than that, tanggap niya. He accepted the fact that he and this Lana weren't
meant to be.
Should I rejoice? Kasi hindi pa rin siya magkaka-girlfriend e. But that's really
just selfish of me. And even if wala siyang girlfriend, I know naman na wala akong
chance.
Kaya I'm sad. Kung hindi niya kayang maging malungkot para sa sarili niya, ako
nalang ang magiging sad for him. It's sort of ridiculous of me, I know. Pero ganun
kasi parati si Oliver e, hiding his feelings and accepting things he can't change.
Then again, 'like' palang naman yung nafi-feel niya dun sa girl. I'm just thankful
for that tiny mercy of fate that he didn't fall in love with her.
I don't want to see him brokenhearted. Hindi ko kakayanin to see him torn apart.
"You think Zeo Alcante's meant for her?" snorted Jesse. "Bullshit."
"No matter which start it is, their chemistry's inevitable. Wala akong magagawa but
to step back." A small sad smile made its way to his lips. "They're it, Jesse."
"Thank Zeus you're not in love with her, then. That would've sucked more."
Oliver didn't answer as he drank from his beer. His eyes wandered to the pool as he
swallowed the alcohol into his system.
I had to strain my neck a little to be sure kung yun nga ba sinabi niya. Pero it
looked like yun nga kasi Jesse didn't reply anymore.
I didn't personally know this Lana. Pero she was stupid if she chose that Zeo
Alcante over Oliver. If I was her, I would've chosen Oliver over any guy on the
planet.
Hello? Napaka caring kaya ni Oliver. He's the perfect boyfriend. Maaasahan mo siya
when you need someone. He's smart and responsible. Mabait pa, especially to his
little sister. Athletic din, kahit na mas prefer niya ang street racing than
sports. He's family oriented. Alam ko for a fact that he loves them to bits.
Oo nga, he has that chinito broody look going for him. Pero I love it most when he
smiles and his eyes disappear. Gosh, when he smiles my knees turn Jell-O.
It had been three years since nung nagsimula akong magka-crush kay Oliver.
Of course, I wasn't fully devoted. I'm not head over heels gaga over him naman. I
had a couple of boyfriends in the past years. One in high school, one in college.
Actually, in my senior high school pala. Nagpupunta na siya even before dito sa
house. He and my brother were a year older than me, see. They met during
orientation.
Anyways, I got intrigued by his mysterious personality the moment I laid my eyes on
him. Until slowly, nagpapakita na siya ng bits and pieces of himself the more I (or
we) got to know him. Lucky ako na I got included in their group when I entered
college.
I closed my eyes as the melody of the song changed. I swayed my hips, wanting to
get lost in the music. Gusto ko munang i-forget yung never-ending crush feels ko
kay Oliver.
I carefully placed the empty glass on the counter para mai-raise ko yung hands ko.
I slowly turned and swayed, bobbing my head slightly.
I love music.
I love singing.
I love dancing.
But I'm not a dancer. Gusto ko lang isabay yung body ko sa beat. I like dancing to
feel good songs. It makes me happy - makes me forget the reality.
"Dreaming . . . Mmmmm . . . I know 'cause I've spent half this morning, thinking
about the tee shirt you sleep in . . ."
I stopped singing for a moment kasi hindi ko na alam yung lyrics. But then my
favorite part came next. Only one person ang nasa mind ko while singing the next
lyrics.
"When I saw you, everyone knew I like the effect that you had on my eyes . . ."
!!!!!
With my eyes wide in shock, I instantly stopped dancing and froze on the spot.
Naka-ngiti siya.
I blinked.
A real smile.
I put a smile on that handsome face. Me, when just minutes ago nagmumukmok siya
with my brother. Pero embarrassing pa rin na he saw me dancing na parang crazy
person lang ang peg ko. I wanted to hide.
"What were you listening to?" he asked me, as he opened the refrigerator to get
more bottles of beers.
Of course, I already knew the kind of music he liked to listen to. It just so
happened na I prefer even mellower songs.
Clearing my throat, I added, "It's not nice to sneak up on people like that."
Him and his one word sentences. Okay, fine. Looks like wala nang patutunguhan ang
conversation namin. Time to leave him alone.
"Akyat na 'ko," I told him. "Good night." I turned my back to him and walked away.
Paalis na rin siya ng kitchen and I felt na nasa likod ko siya mismo.
My heartbeat accelerated.
I quickly looked at him but he was already heading outside towards the glass doors.
Pero kailangan kong i-ask. Hindi ako makakatulog until I ask.
He looked over his shoulder to me, stopping by the glass doors. I couldn't see his
expression through the dark. I could only make out his silhouette.
I frowned in confusion.
What?
Pero he was already outside before I could ask more.
I'm nineteen years old na. What did he mean 'don't grow up'? Am I not already a
grown up? Ang gulo niya talaga sometimes.
I went back to my room upstairs, trying hard not to think about what Oliver said.
Always naman kasi siyang nagsasabi ng mind-boggling things e. Kaya I better let it
go.
Also, I need to get over my crush on Oliver Conjuangco. I know naman din na there's
no possibility of him ever liking me. I'm not his type. I heard him say so when
Jesse grilled him a year ago.
I opened my bedroom door and walked inside, closing the door behind me. I leaned my
back on the door for a minute, tinitignan ang room ko.
Princess style bed with canopy frame. One huge bookshelf. Another princess style
white desk. A mini sofa by the bed where my childhood stuffed toys were.
Okay, so maybe medyo pangbata yung kwarto ko. But I like the color pink. I like the
memories held here in my room.
Ugh.
I need to stop doing this to myself. I have to move on and terminate these
butterflies whenever he's around. I have to uncrush him.
_____________
Any thoughts? Violent reactions? For sure, meron. Hahaha! If you're gonna tweet
your reaction, put the hashtag #ollified so we can all see and fangirl together. ;)
At dahil alam kong mas dadami pa ang inyong mga katanungan, I decided na i-upload
muna itong special chapter bago ko gawin yung video. :) Now, ask away, my little
darlings. #lmao
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
No.
Attached is the video where most of your questions about Lana's List and the List
Series are answered. Nag-tagalog ako sa video, dudes. Kaya parang kausap ko talaga
kayo. :)
PPPS. MMMMMMMWAH!
PPPPS. Kamusta ka na? Nagkakaron ka ba ng withdrawal from LL? Gumagana ba yung list
sayo at sa crush mo? Nag-move on ka na ba zeofied and olliefied feels? Anyare na
sayo? Haha.
What are you waiting for? Let's hunt down the book!!
You know, it was only supposed to be a list. It was only supposed be a guide for
myself that I decided to share with my friends. Then, it turned into a story - a
story that's real in sooo many ways.
It's my first Taglish book, and I didn't expect other girls to relate to it so
much. Maybe because it deals with the issue of that "it's complicated" crap, maybe
because girls are so fed up with being hopia to boys who are pa-fall, or maybe
because they're finally realizing their worth.
Sure, it's basically a how-to-make-him-fall-for-you list. But it's also a way to
keep up with the 21st century dude, with all the mixed signals and shiz that
confuses the heck outta you.
Don't settle for less. Know your worth.
I hope this book helps you be that strong person I know you are deep inside.