Use Familiar Words

• The conclusion ascertained from a perusal of pertinent

data is that a lucrative market exists for the product.
• The data studied shows that the product has good
demand.
• Antiquated machinery was utilized for experimentation.
• Old machinery was used for the test.
• Company operations for the preceding accounting period
terminated with substantial deficit.
• The company lost much money last year.
• This machine has a tendency to develop excessive and
unpleasant audio symptoms when operating at elevated
temperatures.
• This machine tends to get noisy when it runs hot.
1
 Use familiar words
• We must terminate all deficit financing.
• We must endeavor to correct this problem by expediting delivery.
• A proportionate tax consumes a determinate apportionment of
one’s monetary flow.
• Business has an inordinate influence on governmental operations.
• It is imperative that consumers be unrestrained in determining
their preferences.
• Mr. Sanchez terminated Kevin’s employment as a consequence of
his ineffectual performance.
• Our expectations are that there will be increments in commodity
value.
• Recent stock acquisitions have accentuated the company’s current
financial crisis.
• Requisites for employment by this company have been enhanced.
2
• People’s propensity to consume is insatiable.
• We must stop all deficit financing.
• We must try to correct this problem by delivering quickly.
• A certain amount of income is taken as tax.
• Business has an huge effect on governmental operations.
• It is important that consumers have many choices.
• Mr. Sanchez fired Kevin because of his poor performance.
• We expect that prices of commodity will go up.
• Recent stock purchases have increased the company’s money
problems.
• This company has raised its job requirements.
• People love to shop.
3
 Use Short words
• During the preceding year the company operated at a
financial deficit.
• Last year the company lost money.
• They acceded to the proposition to terminate
business.
• They agreed to quit business.
• My thinking has evolved to the significant point where
a concept has emerged.
• I had an idea.
• We are endeavoring to construct a more inclusive
society.
• We are going to make a country in which no one is left
out. 4
 • The decision was predicated on the assumption that an
abundance of monetary funds was forthcoming.
• Definitive action was effected subsequent to the reporting date.
• This antiquated merchandising strategy is ineffectual in
contemporary business operations.
• The company must desist from its deficit financing immediately.
• The preponderance of the businesspeople we consulted envision
signs of improvement from the current siege of economic
stagnation.
• The decision was based on the belief that there would be more
money.
• Final action was taken after the reporting date
• This old sales strategy will not work in today’s business.
• The company must stop spending more than it receives now.
• Most of the business executives we talked with think the economy
will improve. 5
 • Sick and tired
• Grass is always greener
• Child’s play
• Play your cards right
• Bored to tears
• Green with envy

Usecolloquialwordsandclichés
with caution 6
• The engineers left no stones unturned to construct the
bridge in time.
• The engineers worked very hard to construct the bridge in
time.
• In this day and age, websites are one of the most
significant public faces of any organization.
• Today, websites are one of the most significant public faces
of any organization.
• At the end of the day, it is the minister himself who has to
make the decision.
• Ultimately, it is the minister himself who has to make the
decision.
• This ain't working.
• This is not working.
• It is kind of cold outside.
• It is rather cold outside. 7
•A significant loss •A 70% loss
•Good attendance record •100% attendance record

•The leading company •First among 20 corporates

•The majority •55%

•By noon Thursday
•In the near future
•Does the work of five
•A labour saving device
•Rs. 1 lakh
•Substantial amount

Use Concrete Language

8
• We have found that • Research shows that 87 percent
this technique is of those using this XYZ
successful. technique are successful.

• Your department may • Your production department

may hire three new
hire some
management trainees.
new employees.
• We will ship the Mobile phone
• We will ship your set order of January 12 by Blue
order soon. Dart on January 15.
• Each of the branch • Each of the branch managers
managers will receive will receive a 15 percent pay
a substantial pay raise. raise.
• This procedure • This xyz process requires a
requires a constant constant temperature of 10
low temperature. degrees centigrade. 9
10
 Use concrete words
• We have found that young men are best for this work.
• John lost a fortune in Las Vegas.
• If we don’t receive the goods soon, we will cancel it.
• His grade on the aptitude test was not high.
• Some years ago she made good money.
• The cost of the online subscription was reasonable.
• We will need some new equipment soon.
• We have found that men under 30 are best for this work.
• John lost $7,800 in Las Vegas.
• If we don’t receive the ordered goods by January 15, we will
cancel it.
• He scored 54 percent on the aptitude test.
• In 2003 she made Rs. 1 Lakh.
• The cost of the online subscription was only $39.
• We will need new equipment before September 1. 11
 Avoid discriminatory writing
• Avoid words that discriminate against
➢Race
➢Sex
➢Nationality
➢Age
➢Disability

• Eg: If a customer pays promptly, he is placed

on our preferred list.
12
• Avoid gender discrimination by
1. rewording to eliminate the offending word
➢ A customer who pays promptly is placed on our preferred
list.

2. making the reference plural (their, them, they)

➢ If customers pay promptly, they are placed on our preferred

list.

3. substituting a neutral expression (he or she, he/she, s/he,

you, one, person).

➢ If a customer pays promptly, he or she is placed on our

preferred list. 13
• When an unauthorized employee enters the
security area, he is subject to dismissal.
• An employee who enters the security area is
subject to dismissal.

• When unauthorized employees enter the

security area, they are subject to dismissal.

• When an unauthorized employee enter the

security area, he/she is subject to dismissal.
14
• When a customer needs service, it is his right to
ask for it.

• A customer who needs service has the right to ask for

it.

• When customers need service, they have the right to

ask for it.

• When one needs service, one has the right to ask for it.

15
Avoid words with a masculine origin
Sexist Gender- Neutral
Man-made Manufactured, of human origin

Manpower Personnel, workers

Businessman Business executive,
businessperson
Chairperson, presiding officer
Chairman
Police officer
Policeman
Salesperson, sales
Salesman representative
Cameraman Camera operator

16
 Avoid words that lower one’s status
by gender

lady doctor doctor

authoress author

actress actor

poetess poet

sculptress sculptor

male nurse nurse

male secretary secretary

17
 Other stereotypes to avoid
• Race • Disability
➢ A generous Jew ➢ Deaf and dumb
➢ A Chinese manager ➢ Crippled
➢ A hardworking African American
• visually impaired, Hard-
of-hearing, Person with a
physical disability
• Age
➢ Old people- Appropriate words are:-retired, -experienced, veteran

➢ Young people- Appropriate words are: young accountant,

accomplished young manager
18
 Avoid discriminatory language
• Any worker who ignores this rule will have his salary reduced.
• A good executive plans his daily activities.
• The employee may exercise his right to seek a review.
• The executive committee consists of an engineer, a business man and a
lady doctor.
• We need someone to man the desk.
• Two representatives of our company attended the conference: a
Hispanic engineer and one of our younger managers.
• Workers who ignore this rule will have their salaries reduced.
• Good executives plan their daily activities.
• The employee may exercise her/his right to seek a review. (or) Employees
may exercise their right to seek a review. (or) You may exercise your right
to seek a review.
• The executive committee consists of an engineer, a business person and a
doctor.
• We need someone to staff the desk/attend to the desk.
• Our company was represented by two employees—an engineer and an
19
assistant manager.
• Annuity • Form of insurance or
investment entitling the
investor to a series of
annual sums.
• Employment covered by
• Covered employment social security

• Huge pipes • High-bandwidth Internet

connection
• Juried • Judged

Use technical words with caution

20
• RFID • Radio frequency identification
• LASER • Light amplification by the stimulated
emission of radiation
• North Atlantic Treaty Organization
• NATO
• Initial Public Offering
• IPO
• Indian Revenue Service/ Internal
• IRS
Revenue Service/ Indian Railway Service
• Specific Absorption Rate/ Saudi Arabia
• SAR Riyal
• SARS • Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome/
South African Revenue Service

Use acronyms with caution

21
• The injured were taken to the hospital by the fire
fighters.
• The fire fighters took the injured to the hospital.

• The minister was welcomed by the people.

• The people welcomed the minister.

22
• There are over 300 customers served by our help
desk each day. The help desk personnel’s main tasks
are to answer questions, solve problems, and
educate the callers about the software. Without
their expert work, our customer satisfaction ratings
would be much lower than they are.

• Our help desk personnel serve over 300 customers

each day. They answer questions, solve problems,
and educate the users about the software. Without
their expert work, our customer satisfaction ratings
would drop significantly.
23
24
 Why Active voice?
•Active voice is more direct
•Emphasizes action

•Keeps sentences short

•Livelier, stronger & more interesting writing

Eg.
My first visit to Boston will always be remembered
by me.
I will always remember my first visit to Boston. 25
 What happens when active sentence
becomes passive

• The car hit the tree. (Active)

• The tree was hit by the car. (Passive)

26
• New regulations were proposed by the Department
of Transportation.

• The Department of Transportation proposed new

regulations.

• The memo was written yesterday by the Director.

• The Director wrote the memo yesterday.

• The results were reported in our July 9 letter.

• We reported the results in our July 9 letter.

27
• They should have submitted the project report.
• The project report should have been submitted.
• The employees brought up this issue during the
meeting.
• This issue was brought up by the employees during
the meeting.
• They were interviewing her for the job.
• She was being interviewed for the job.

28
• The office will be inspected by Mr. Hall.
• All the necessary precautions were taken by them.
• The profit and loss statement is prepared by the treasurer each month.
• The new process is believed to be superior by the investigators.
• This policy has been supported by our union.
• The policy was enforced by the committee.
• A gain of 30.1 percent was reported for hardware sales.
• A complete reorganization of the administration was effected by the
President.
• Our action is based on the assumption that the competition will be taken
by surprise.
• Mr. Hall will inspect the office.
• They took all the necessary precautions.
• The treasurer prepares the profit and loss statement each month.
• The investigators believe that the new process is superior.
• Our union supported this policy.
• The committee enforced the policy.
• Hardware sales gained 30.1 percent.
• The President completely reorganized the administration.
• We take this action because we believe that it will surprise our 29
competition.
 Passive voice is better
• When the doer of the action is not important
Eg: The package was delivered this morning.

• When the doer of the action is unknown

Eg: The lights were left on.

• When the doer of the action is someone you don't

want to name
Eg: I was given the wrong directions.
The damage was caused by exposing the material
to sunlight.
(You don't want to blame anyone in particular.)

30
Avoidoveruseof Camouflagedverbs
• Elimination of the surplus was effected by the staff.
• The staff eliminated the surplus.

31
Action Verb Noun Form Wording of
Camouflaged Verb
• Acquire • Acquisition • Make an acquisition
• Appear • Appearance • Make an appearance
• Apply • Application • Make an application
• Appraise • Appraisal • Make an appraisal
• Assist • Assistance • Give assistance to
• Cancel • Cancellation • Make a Cancellation
• Commit • Commitment • Make a commitment
• Discuss • Discussion • Have a discussion
• Investigate • Investigation • Make an investigation
• Judge • Judgment • Make a judgment
• Liquidate • Liquidation • Effect a liquidation
• Reconcile • Reconciliation • Make a reconciliation
• Record • Recording • Make a recording
The result is passive voice 32
 Prefer strong verbs to verbs
turned into nouns.
Verb turned into noun
. . . make a classification . . .
. . . make a computation . . .
. . . conduct an exploration . . .
. . . provide information . . .
. . . engage in negotiation . . .
. . . make an observation . . .
. . . provide representation . . .
Strong Verb
. . . classify . . .
. . . compute . . .
. . . explore . . .
. . . inform . . .
. . . negotiate . . .
. . . observe . . .
. . . represent . . .
33
 Camouflaged Verbs
• Cancellation of the order was
made on the 12th.
• Elimination of the deficit was
brought about by the change.
• Application of the mixture was
accomplished.
• Distribution of the special
equipment was accomplished
by the safety officer.
• An arrangement was made to
meet for breakfast.
• Control of the water was not
possible.
Strong Verb
• We canceled the order on the
12th.
• The change eliminated the
deficit.
• They applied the mixture.
• The safety officer distributed
the special equipment.
• We arranged to meet for
breakfast.
• They could not control the
water.
34
 Avoid overuse of Camouflaged verbs
• Harold made a recommendation that we fire Mr. Shultz.
• The new policy involved the standardization of the procedures.
• Application of the mixture was accomplished.
• We must bring about a reconciliation of our differences.
• The establishment of a wellness center has been accomplished by
the company.
• It was my duty to make a determination of the damages.
• The president tried to effect a reconciliation of the two groups.
• Harold recommended that we fire Mr. Shultz.
• The new policy standardized the procedures.
• They applied the mixture.
• We must reconcile our differences.
• The company has established a wellness center.
• It was my duty to determine the damages.
35
• The president tried to reconcile the two groups.
Adapting to Multiple readers

Construction of clear sentences

36
• Bill Jones is a drill press operator. He has been employed
by Allied Manufacturing. He has been employed for 15
years. He is retiring. He is retiring on June 15.

• Bill Jones, a drill press operator who has been with Allied
Manufacturing for 15 years, will be retiring on June 15.

• Bill Jones will be retiring on June 15. He has been a drill

press operator with Allied Manufacturing for 15 years.
37
 When an employee has changed from one job to
An employee may change jobs. The change may result in a
another job, the new corresponding coverages will be
lower pay as
effective bracket.
of theThedate new
thecoverage
changesisoccurs,
effective when this
provided,
The new insurance coverage becomes effective when
however,The
happens. if due jobto change
a physical disability
must be becauseor infirmity as a
of physical
result ofofadvanced
because disability, age, an employee
infirmity, or age an is changed job
employee’s from
disability.
one job to It another
can also jobbe because
and suchofchange
infirmity. Old age
results may
in the
employee’s
be another
change results new
cause. job
Therate
in lower pay. coming
company itswithin
But athas some a lower
the hourly
discretion
discretion, in the
job-rate bracket in the table, in which case the
matter. It can permit continuing the accidental death
employee
company maymay, at the
permit thediscretion of the
old insurance company,
coverage to
insurance.
continue the It can permit
amount of continuing
group termthe life dismemberment
insurance and
the amount of accidental death and dismemberment
continue.
insurance.
insurance that the employee had prior to such change.

38
 Use short sentences

• You can write short, simple sentences in two

ways

1. by limiting sentence content

2.by using words economically

39
 Limit sentence content

• We can see from the above list that though the average
number of customers per day is small, the turnover is
maximum because at other restaurants the main items
of sale are tea, coffee, and snacks, whereas at this
restaurant meals are also available.

• The above summary list shows that this restaurant has

the maximum turnover of xxx though the average
number of customers per day is yyy. This is because
besides tea, coffee, and snacks, it sells meals also. 40
• This letter is being distributed with enrollment
confirmation sheets, which are to serve as a final check
on the correctness of the registration of students and
are to be used later when obtaining semester grades
from the system, which are to be available two weeks
after the term officially ends.

• This admission letter is being distributed with

enrollment confirmation sheets. This sheet will serve
now as a final check on student registration. Later, the
codes on them will be used to access course grades
through the register system; the grades will be available
two weeks after the term officially ends.
41
• Regardless of their seniority or union affiliation, all
employees who hope to be promoted are expected to
continue their education either by enrolling in the special
courses to be offered by the company, which are scheduled
to be given after working hours beginning next Wednesday,
or by taking approved online courses selected from a list,
which may be seen on the company portal.

• Regardless of their seniority or union affiliation, all

employees who hope to be promoted are expected to
continue their education in either of two ways. 1)They may
enroll in special courses to be offered by the company,
which are scheduled to be given by the company. 2) They
may take approved online courses selected from the list on
the company portal.
42
 Economizing on Words
Avoid ClutteringPhrases

• In the event that payment is not made by January,

operations will cease.
• If payment is not made by January, operations will
cease.

• In spite of the fact that they received help, they failed

to exceed the quota.
• Although they received help, they failed to exceed the
quota.
43
 Cluttering Phrase Shorter Substitution

• For the purpose of • For

• At the present time • Now
• In the near future • Soon
• In view of the fact • Since, because
that
• In the amount of • For
• In the meantime • Meanwhile

44
 Eliminate surplus words
• It will be noted that the records for the past years show a
steady increase in special appropriations.
• The records for the past years show a steady increase in
special appropriations.
• There are four rules that should be observed.
• Four rules should be observed.
• His performance was good enough to enable him to qualify
him for the promotion.
• His performance was good enough to qualify him for the
promotion.
• The machines that were damaged by the fire were
repaired.
• The machines damaged by the fire were repaired. 45
 Avoid roundabout constructions
• The president is of the opinion that the tax was paid.
• The president believes that the tax was paid.
• The department budget can be observed to be decreasing each
new year.
• The department budget decreases each new year.
• He criticized everyone he came in contact with.
• He criticized everyone he met.
• The union is involved in the task of reviewing the seniority
provision of the contract.
• The union is reviewing the seniority provision of the contract.
• During the time he was employed by this company, Mr. Sharma
was absent once.
• While employed by this company, Mr. Sharma was absent once.
46
 Avoid unnecessary repetition of words or ideas
• We have not received your payment covering invoices
covering June and July purchases.
• We have not received your payment covering invoices for June
and July purchases.
• Please endorse your name on the back of this cheque.
• Please endorse this cheque.
• If you are not satisfied, return it back to us.
• If you are not satisfied, return it to us.
• One should know the basic fundamentals of writing.
• One should know the fundamentals of clear writing.
• In my opinion, I think the plan is sound.
• I think the plan is sound.
• Our new model is longer in length than the old one.
• Our new model is longer than the old one. 47
 Giving the Sentences Unity
Avoid the unity error- Unrelated Ideas

• Mr. Jordan is our sales manager, and he has a degree in law.

• Mr. Jordan is our sales manager. He has a law degree.
• Mr. Jordan, our sales manager, has a law degree.

• The restaurant served excellent food; it was only two years

old.
• The restaurant, which was only two years old, had excellent
food.

48
• Our production increased in January, and our equipment
is wearing out.
• Even though our equipment is wearing out, our
production increased in January.

• We concentrate on energy- saving products, and 70

percent of our business comes from them.
• As a result of our concentration on energy- saving
products, 70 percent of our business comes from them.

• Our territory is the southern half of the state, and our

salespeople cannot cover it thoroughly.
• Our territory is the southern half of the state. Our
salespeople cannot cover it thoroughly.
49
 Avoid the unity error- Excessive Detail
• We have attempted to trace the desk set you ordered from us
on November 21, and about which you inquired in your
December 11 message, but we have not yet been able to
locate it, although we are sending you a rush shipment
immediately.
• We are sending you a rush shipment of the desk set
immediately. Following your December 11 inquiry, we
attempted to trace your November 21 order. We were unable
to locate it.
• Our New York offices, considered luxurious in the 2010s, but
now badly in need of renovation, as is the case with most
offices that have not been maintained, have been abandoned.
• Considered luxurious in the 2010s, our New York offices
have not been maintained properly. As they badly need
repair, we have abandoned them.
50
 Avoid the unity error- Illogical Constructions

• First we cut prices, and then quality was reduced.

• First we cut prices, and then we reduced quality.
• I never knew an executive who was interested in helping
workers who had got into problems that caused them to
worry.
• I never knew an executive who was interested in helping
worried workers with their problems.
• Because our salesperson are inexperienced caused us to
miss our quota.
• The inexperience of our salespeople caused us to miss our
quota.
51
• In view of the fact that we financed the experiment, we were
entitled to some profit.
• I will talk to him with regard to the new policy.
• The candidates who had the most money won.
• We purchased gloves that are lined with wool.
• Sales can be detected to have improved over last year.
• The chairperson is engaged in the activities of preparing the
program.
• The requirements for the job require a minimum of three years
of experience.
• We expect to deliver the goods in the event that we receive the
money.
• We must keep this confidential information from being shared
with others.
• Thank you for your feedback that will help us continue to
improve. 52
• Because we financed the experiment, we were entitled to some
profit.
• I will talk to him about the new policy.
• The richest candidates won.
• We purchased gloves lined with wool.
• Sales have improved over last year.
• The chairperson is preparing the program.
• The job requires a minimum of three years of experience.
• We expect to deliver the goods if we receive the money.
• We must keep this information confidential.
• Thank you for your feedback. It will help us maintain our high
standard of . . . . 53
Adapting to Multiple readers

Writing for Effect

54
• I am happy to report…
• You will be happy to know…
• We are pleased to have your new account.
• Your new charge account is now open for your
convenience.
• “We make Kodak digital cameras for three levels: beginner,
intermediate, and professional.”
• “So that you can choose the one camera that is just right
for you, Kodak makes cameras for you in three models:
basic, standard, and full- featured.”

• We have been quite tolerant of your past due account and

must now demand payment.
• If you are to continue to enjoy the benefits of credit buying
you must clear your account now. 55
 You- Viewpoint
Emphasizes reader’s interests and concerns
• I need to know a few more details and would like your
immediate feedback.
• Your feedback is valuable. Would you help me with a few
more details.
• We have received your report of December 1.
• Thank you for your report of December 1.
• We have shipped the two dozen desk sets you ordered.
• Your two dozen desk sets should reach you with this
letter/ by Friday, 23 December 2016.
• So that we may complete our file records on you, we ask
that you submit to us your November report.
• So that your file records may be completed, please send us
your November report. 56
 Use positive language
• We cannot mail the order as you failed to provide the
address.
• Kindly provide your mailing address so that the order can be
mailed to you.
• Your order cannot be shipped until Friday.
• Your order will be shipped on Friday.
• Smoking is not permitted anywhere except in the lobby.
• Smoking is permitted in the lobby only.
• We regret to inform you that we must deny your request
for credit.
• For the time being we can serve you on a cash basis only.
• You were wrong in your conclusion, for our agreement
clearly states…
• Please read our agreement which clearly explains….
57
• We will be pleased to deliver your order by the 12th.
• We invite you to buy from the enclosed catalog.
• I am pleased to inform you that I can grant your request for
payment of travel expenses.
• We have worked for 37 years to build the best air purifier for
our customers.
• We give a 2 percent discount when payment is made within
10 days.
• Do not walk on the grass.
• I regret the necessity of calling your attention to our letter of
May 1.
• You cannot visit the plant except on Saturdays.
• We regret that we must call your attention to our policy of
prohibiting refunds for merchandise bought at discount.
• We have received your complaint of the 7th in which your
claim that our product was defective, and have thoroughly
investigated the matter. 58
• You will receive the goods you ordered by the 12th.
• You will find many good buys in the enclosed catalog.
• Your request for travel expenses is approved.
• Our 37 years of experience have enabled us to offer you the
best air purifier at the lowest possible price.
• You receive a 2 percent discount by paying within 10 days.
• Please walk on the sidewalk.
• Please refer to our letter of May 1.
• You may visit the plant only on Saturdays.
• Refund is only available for the full priced merchandise.
• As you requested in your December 7 letter, we have
thoroughly investigated the performance of your Samsung
Copier.
59