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LETTERS

to My
CHILDREN

A collection of thoughtful letters written by 35 parents

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The opinions expressed in this book are those of the authors only and do not
necessarily reflect the views of Summit Media.

Letters to My Children is published by Summit Publishing Co., Inc.


6F Robinsons Cybergate 3
Pioneer Street
Mandaluyong City
Philippines 1550

Copyright © 2016 Summit Books

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or
by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and
retrieval systems without permission in writing from the publisher, except by
a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review.

Visit www.facebook.com/SummitBooks for updates.


Follow us on Twitter and Instagram: @Summit.Books

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Introduction

Parents talk to their children


hildren ev
every day, whispering (or texting)
endearments, words of encouragement, and even reproachments.
But it is rare in these modern, click-and-you’re-gone times for busy
moms and dads to actually sit down and write a letter.
In this book, 35 writers, artists, media personalities, celebrities,
and businessmen take the time to put down their loving wishes for
their children in a collection of very personal letters. At their core,
they are simply mothers and fathers, and like all parents, they only
want the best for their kids and believe in teaching them how to
face challenges in a world that sometimes isn’t so kind.
Letters may seem old-fashioned, but they are great for
encapsulating that magic moment when you want to capture
your thoughts for your children to read today, or many years on.
Because just a few snapshots, Facebook posts, and journal entries
later, the child is an adult, the nest is empty, and all you’re left with
are delightful and sometimes bittersweet memories of a fleeting
childhood. Letters are as powerful as the spoken word, and they live
on—stashed in little boxes beneath their beds, or tucked deep into
their grown-up hearts.

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Contents
Things that Go Bump in the Night 6
Budjette Tan
Twinkling Moments of Fatherhood 10
Joshua Formentera Jr.
Sisterly Love 14
Ines Bautista-Yao
Joys and Pains of a First-time Mother 18
Patty Laurel-Filart
Unforgettable Times with Courageous Caitie 22
Jay Jay Lucas
A Mother’s Wishes for Her Son 26
Feliz Lucas
The Power of Reading Books 31
Xandra Ramos-Padilla
Riding the Waves of Life 35
Noelle Hilario
Extraordinary Journey of a Single Parent 39
Joel Cruz
Female Empowerment Through Sports 43
Ani de Leon-Brown
On Practicing Eco Habits 47
Paolo Abrera
Surviving Loss 51
Camille Prats
Achieving Harmony Through Dialogue 55
Risa Hontiveros-Baraquel
The Unparalleled Joys of Adoption 58
Chary Mercado
Conquering the World on Your Own Terms 62
Lea Salonga
The Journey into Adulthood 65
Edric and Joy Mendoza

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The Pursuit of True Beauty 72
Rissa Mananquil Trillo
On Finding the Right Mentor 77
Cyan Abad-Jugo
Experiences of an Entrepreneurial Mom 81
Janice Crisostomo-Villanueva
Discovering Fashion and Cultivating Style 85
Pauline Suaco-Juan
Four Generations of Fathers 89
Brian Adrian Borleo
Recipe for Success 96
Chefs Rolando and Jacqueline Laudico
Creating a World for Women 100
Merlee Cruz-Jayme
Lessons Gained from Marathon Running 104
Jaymie Crisostomo-Pizarro
The Importance of Family Time 108
Lance Gokongwei
Making the Right Choices 113
Elizabeth Zobel de Ayala
On Work-Life Balance 116
Dr. Vicki Belo
Saving for a Rainy Day 119
Rose Fres Fausto
Of Food and Family 124
Berna Romulo-Puyat
On Making a Marriage Work 128
Pia Magalona
From Story to Song 133
Gary Valenciano
On Taking the Next Step 137
Jesse Robredo
Following a Creative Path 143
Tippy Go

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hings that Go Bump
in the Night

Ad Man by day and Comic Book Man by night,


Budjette Tan is the writer and co-creator of the award-winning
comic book series TRESE and The Lost Journal of Alejandro
Pardo: Creatures & Beasts of Philippine Folklore.
Seraph is his firstborn and his latest creation—
a collaboration with his wife Wella.

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o my dear Seraph, my blessed little angel,
Before you were born, everyone was telling us, “Get as much
sleep as you can!” But then again, I normally don’t fall asleep so
early anyway.
I thought that my being an insomniac would come in handy
during these nights, but I end up staying awake, not because of the
next diaper change and not because I stay up with your mother as
you demand another round of milk. After you’ve had your fill and
you’ve finally fallen asleep and your mom has dozed off beside you,
I stay up and watch the two of you.
Maybe I feel compelled to stay awake and make sure nothing
creeps out of the dark that might do you harm and steal you away
from us, like what happens in all those old stories we’ve been told.
(Actually, sometimes I stay awake to make sure nothing gets ME
and drags me off into the night while I’m snoring.) I stay awake
until the sun rises and I feel safer and certain that you’re okay.
As you grow up, there will be nights when you’ll have a hard
time going to sleep, worrying about what might come out of one
of the dark corners of your room. You might be kept up by the
creaking wood that sounds like something is squeezing its way
out of the walls; the tree branches that scratch the glass of your
bedroom window; the dogs howling in the distance. These are not
things you should fear for they are stories waiting to be told.
Whatever it is you’re afraid of, we can find the secret stories
behind them and turn them into something not so fearsome.
Maybe the creaking wood is actually the sound of the house
snoring. It is dreaming, and in its dream, it can stand on its wooden
legs and explore what’s around the corner.

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The tree outside your room is a not really a scary, old tree. It’s a
skyport for elves who command and steer flying ships made out of
leaves. During the nights of the new moon, when the branches tap
on your window, that’s their last call for any additional passengers
who might want to join them for a tour of the night sky.
The dogs howling in the distance are just practicing for their
next big concert. They must sing and howl their best. The winner
will get a chance to sing for the Great White Hound on the moon.
Every time you’re in the dark and you feel afraid of the things
you can’t see, tell a story about it. Fill the dark with stories to help
you push back the gloom. The darkness is your black canvas, just
waiting to be filled with your colorful stories. Tell me about them,
and we’ll make those stories together.
Remember that your life is your story. Tell it the way you want
it to be told and fill it with the best stories only you can tell.
As you grow older, there will be nights when you can’t sleep
because you feel you’re in the dark about what might happen
tomorrow. You might be unsure of how your story will continue,
where to take your tale. You will hear stories of fortune tellers and
oracles that can supposedly shine a light on what will happen to
you in the future. You might hear of astrologers who claim to divine
your destiny by observing the stars. What they have to say will not
matter. Your future will be written by you and you alone.
Have an end in mind and work your way toward that ending.
Most people believe that their stories must end with “Happily Ever
After” (which is not a bad ending as most stories go), but maybe the
more important part is the middle of the story. No matter how bad
your day might be, it is important not to think of it as “The End.”
Always remember that each day ends with a “To be Continued”

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and that you must continue the telling of this tale happily. Finding
one happy thing that makes your day worth smiling for is more
important than finding the buried treasure or the magic ring.
There will be chapters in your life that will feel like your story
is just going around in circles, a manic pursuit of the next goal and
the next goal and the next. On these days, you need to take a break
from it all and just have fun. Do whatever you want. Then come
back to your story and you’ll see that you’ll know what to do next.
Maybe you won’t know what the next chapter will be like,
but sometimes, all you need is the next line to get you going.
Sometimes, figuring out the next word makes all the difference.
And that’ll be enough writing for the day. Get some rest. Come
back to your story tomorrow and start a new page.
Anyway, I can’t wait to tell you my stories, and I definitely can’t
wait to hear yours. We’ll have so much fun making stories together.

Love,
Dad

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winkling Moments
of Fatherhood

Joshua Formentera Jr. is a social activist. In 1998, he established the


Positive Action Foundation Philippines (PAFPI)—a non-government
organization working for reproductive health education, advocacy,
treatment care, and support for vulnerable people, focusing on those
afflicted with HIV/AIDS and their families. In 2003, he founded
the Centennial School of the Philippines (CSP), a private elementary
school that provides affordable, high-quality education for students from
deprived backgrounds in one of the poorer southern suburbs of Manila.

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My dearest Divina,
When I woke up this morning, I found a letter which you
wrote all by yourself:

Dear Daddy Bjorn and Daddy Josh,

I already miss you in the Philippines, but we talk on Skype every day.
I hope my visa will be there soon so I can go to you and see all the people
in Denmark. You are both very kind to me. I love you very much.

Love,
Ma. Divina Formentera

Reading this letter makes my heart smile. It brings me so


much joy and happiness, just like the way you have brought me
joy and happiness throughout your life. Even though you are only
seven years old, you are able to express your feelings toward your
family in the most loving way. You never cease to amaze me. We are
so blessed to have you.
I am so happy that I was finally able to adopt you last year. It
was a long and difficult journey through the Filipino court system.
But in the end, we managed. Throughout the whole process, we
talked to you about every step so that you would always know who
you are, where you come from, and why you are in our lives.
I know your mother, my niece, is happy, too. She did not give
up a child, even though legal custody was transferred. She has
nurtured you and loved you ever since you were a baby. She will
remain one of the most important persons in your life. Through

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her generosity, she has ensured that you now have a dad. Not a
biological father, who neither you nor I have ever met. But a true
dad—someone who cherishes you above anything else. In fact, you
now have two. And I know for certain that Daddy Bjorn loves you
just as much as your mother and I do.
As a father, I am not perfect, but I have tried to teach and
encourage you to do different things. I want you to know that
the world is open to you. You have all the possibilities. Do not
let anyone tell you what you can or cannot do. And if things do
not turn out the way you hope, know that your family is here to
comfort and support you.
When you were still a baby, I tried to communicate with
you through singing, giggling, and laughing. I played with you by
making funny faces and blinking my big eyes. You laughed at me
with strange sounds coming from your mouth. It is impossible to
understand those sounds. The true meaning is anyone’s guess. Still,
as a father, I felt that I understood everything you tried to convey.
I also remember the first time I brought you to school. You
told me you wanted to read and write the whole alphabet, and sing
together with your teacher and classmates. When I heard those
words from you, I realized how blessed I was as a father. Even
then, you already had a unique vision and an outstanding way of
expressing yourself. As we walked to school, I took your little hand
in mine. I wanted you to feel safe, but at the same time, I wanted
to give you space to grow and be yourself. To develop your own
personality while knowing that we would always be there for you.
As a small girl, you loved the song “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little
Star.” In my heart and mind, you are that twinkling star. No matter
what happens, you always will be. Despite the distance, I feel so

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close to you. I feel your love, and at times, the emotion of being
a father almost overwhelms me. We have such wonderful times,
reading stories to each other at night. One evening after dinner,
you sang for me before going to bed. I asked you, “All right then,
what would you like to sing?” You gave me your sweetest smile and
answered, “‘Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star,’ Daddy.”
You are my little star, forever sparkling and twinkling. Always
remember: Dream big and work hard to fulfill all your dreams.
Grow up being proud of who you are. Express yourself with true
determination. Be nice to everyone and treat them as you would
like to be treated. Show others love and respect. Understand that
everyone is different, and that beauty resides in diversity. Educate
yourself about human rights, the right to a decent life, and the right
to education. Be a volunteer and help the weak and elderly. Make
them smile. Teach respect and tolerance to young children. Learn
to cook so you will always be able to take care of yourself. Travel
and see the world, speak many languages, and keep a diary so your
future children can learn from you.
I’ve always loved children. All I wanted was to care for them, to
shower them with love, and to be surrounded by them. I established
a school to help educate them, but I never expected this miracle
of parenthood to happen to me. I never dared to wish for it. You
are the best gift that God has given me, Daddy Bjorn, and your
mother. We cherish you above anything else.
I love you with all my heart. You and Daddy Bjorn are my
greatest gifts in this world.

Daddy

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Sisterly Love

Ines Bautista-Yao is a wife and mother. Her daughters,


Addie and Tammy, make up her world. But while they’re
either asleep or in school, she writes stories about love.
Find her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/inesbautistayao,
Twitter and Instagram @inesbyao, or her website
theeverydayprojectblog.com/inesbautistayao-author.

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o my dearest Addie and ammy,
When I first found out I was going to have another baby girl,
a small part of me was disappointed. I wanted a baby boy because it
seemed that was what everyone wanted. The Yaos wanted someone
to carry on the family name, the Camuses were complaining that
the boys were hopelessly outnumbered, and the Bautistas wanted
to see what it would be like to have a little boy in the family for the
first time ever. So when the doctor doing my congenital ultrasound
said, “Oh, don’t worry about that. That usually happens with boys,”
I knew.
The disappointment didn’t last long. When I realized that my
four-year-old daughter was going to have a sister, I realized just how
lucky they were both going to be—just how lucky both of you are
now. Because one of the biggest blessings in my life are my sisters.
Growing up, your Ninang A and I used to fight all the time.
I didn’t want her following me around, and I didn’t want her
wearing the same clothes I did. But even if I always told her what
to do and got mad at her for telling on me every time we fought,
we always stuck together. Whenever we were dragged to parties
or events, we were grateful we had each other. We used to love
watching (and performing!) musicals together too. We’d sing and
dance to whatever we saw onscreen, even making up our own
musical numbers. Today, when we hear a line from one of our
favorite childhood movies, we automatically recite the dialogue
that comes next or break into song. But the most important time
was when we had problems in the family. I know I got through
that difficult phase because I had my sister with me. Ninang B was
still too young and at the time, all we wanted to do was protect her

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because she was our baby. But Ninang A and I held on tight to
each other. We leaned on each other because no one else understood
what we went through the way the other did. This is what is so
wonderful about having a sister. You will always have someone who
has your back, someone who understands what it’s like to deal with
your parents when they’re frustrating (yes, I know your papa and
I will annoy you girls to death, it’s a fact of life), and someone to
turn to when no one else will be there for you.
Right now, it drives me crazy the way you two fight every
few minutes, but when you play together and enjoy each other’s
company, like when you were singing Manang Addie’s made-up
song about Baguio, I want to cry because it reminds me of how
your Ninang A and I used to be. And I pray that when you get
older, your friendship will be just as strong or even stronger.
The age gap between me and your Ninang A is very small,
two and a half years. Your Ninang B and I have a 14-year age gap.
You two have a five-year age gap. But the number of years doesn’t
matter. Even if Ninang B was our baby and we took care of her
while we were growing up, now that she’s older, she takes care of us
too! Ninang B is the one who makes sure our birthdays and parties
are special because she knows how important it is to feel loved.
She worries about us and checks to see that we’re taking care of
ourselves—not just dressing right but also eating and living right.
But most of all, now that we’re older and all the petty fights
are out of the way, we can focus on being friends. We enjoy each
other’s company. Right now, because Tammy is still small and I can’t
leave her for longer than two to three hours, the only people I really
see are my family. But it’s not a chore. I love hanging out with my
sisters and spending time with them. I love listening to their stories,

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shopping, eating, and simply just hanging out with them. Because
no one in this world knows me or loves me like my sisters do, and I
can always take comfort and pride in that.
I know right now, it’s hard to see that.
Addie, you are seven years old. Tammy, though fun and funny
most of the time, can also be a burden on you. She grabs your toys,
takes up all of Mama’s attention, and destroys your stuff. But she
also loves to snuggle with you when you’re lying in bed, follows
every word you say because she wants to be just like you, and
runs to hug you when she sees you after school.
Tammy, you are two and a half. Though you adore your
Manang like crazy, you also get jealous when Mama sits beside her,
you don’t like sharing your toys with her, and you don’t listen when
she tells you to do things. But she takes care of you, especially when
you want to play with her and her friends, you’re the first person she
looks for when she gets out of school, and she always tries to teach
you what is right and wrong (as well as your ABCs and 123s).
When you two get older, these little annoyances and squabbles
will fade away to be replaced with genuine love and the desire to be
with each other. This is my prayer; this is my wish. And I hope that
when you see, from my relationships with your ninangs, just how
wonderful it is to have sisters, you two will treasure this gift you
have been given and nurture it for the rest of your lives.

Love,
Mama

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Joys and Pains of
a First-time Mother

Patty Laurel-Filart is an events host, model,


and lifestyle blogger at www.pattylaurel.com. 
She is a new mom to Theo (born on July 5, 2015)
and wife to Patrick since 2012. 

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My darling heo,
“I knew I loved you before I met you, I think I dreamed
you into life” was a cheesy song that played at our high school
prom. The lyrics sounded so fantastical and fanciful. I was a
wide-eyed, naive teenager at that time, but even I didn’t buy it.
Believing in a love like that was almost like believing that unicorns
existed. And yet here I am today at 33, with a good, heavy load
of life experiences, supposedly wiser and more rational than my
teenybopper self—and now I am totally owning that line like it’s
my life’s mantra. Because in many ways, it is a TRUTH for me and
your father. It basically sums up our love story as parents. 
Long before we met you, you were always there—carefully
stationed in our minds as the most exciting “what if ” that would
trump all the strings of “if ”s and “maybe”s that would come along.
We carved out a space in our hearts just for you, even before you
were conceived. Our hearts were beating for you, even before we
heard yours. The thought of you brought butterflies to our bellies
and made us kilig beyond words. 
As marvelous and wonderful as it seemed back then, the dream
of you pales in comparison to what YOU are to us right now. And
it’s all because our idea of best is nowhere near God’s best! You are
God’s best for us, our little Theo. He made every cell, every fiber in
you for a purpose. And we hope that even in our own imperfection,
we may be God’s best for you too as parents in the years to come. 
Motherhood did not come easy for me, and I am still learning.
But day by day, God’s faithfulness is revealed. I was faced with
many challenges early on, the biggest of which was getting
hospitalized again just four weeks after you were born. Being away

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from you for almost a week was the most painful experience of my
life. More than the excruciating pain my body had to endure, the
emotional longing to be with you and the depression was more than
I could bear. After being practically bedridden and in immense pain
for a whole month since you came into this world, I had to undergo
surgery and end my breastfeeding journey. To this day, I am still
filled with regret and shame knowing that my body failed to nourish
you with the most wonderful gift: breast milk. I remember just
saying sorry to you over and over again and crying in disbelief.
But you would always look at me with the most loving eyes, almost
as if you were comforting me with a “Don’t worry, Mama. We will
be okay! I still love you.” Thank you for being so patient and
understanding with your mama, my little one. 
Not only did you survive, you showed the world that you
could truly thrive despite these limitations. At every checkup, you
showed amazing developmental progress and you’ve been blessed
with great health ever since. This is proof that indeed the Lord has
been faithful in nourishing you in His spirit! It has been such a
humbling experience for me as a mother, and I know now that you
truly belong to Him fully.
Every day, I see myself in you, sweetheart. First of all, you are
such a good-looking little human. With those marshmallow cheeks
and a cute nose, you are stinking CUTE. And I would like to take
80% of the credit for that. Your father can contest this, but between
you and me, you know who the real winner is. MOM always wins.
Hahaha! But just like me, you are incredibly spunky, precocious,
and kengkoy with a thousand facial expressions. And then there are
traits that mirror that of your father—adventurous and brave. Just
like your dad, you like welcoming challenges and pushing yourself

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to great heights (much to the worry of your mother who catches
you in very compromising acrobatic positions!). You are never
dismayed by failed attempts and are even motivated to try again
despite encountering setbacks. Your perseverance always pays off
and I always stand in awe of how you manage to learn something
new all by yourself. 
And yet even if in many ways you are an intricate weave
of me and Patrick, you also stand on your own two feet. At just
10 months old, you have a sureness about you that makes me feel
mighty proud. You are your own unique person and you know it!
With your intellect, skills, and talents, you will be dreaming your
own dreams, pursuing your own passions, and fulfilling your own
purpose. It is our prayer that all these point straight to Jesus and
that as your parents, we will never get in the way of you living your
life to serve and honor Him. You are a ball of energy, and we can
only imagine great things as you start to direct that energy into
living for Jesus and being a champion for others. 
I thank the Lord each day for making me and Patrick your
stewards in this world. That even in our imperfection, we were
chosen out of the billions of people to be your parents. Ultimately,
you belong to Him and we trust that the Lord is in control of every
little detail in your life. You have taught us about God’s grace and
unfailing love just by being you! 
Oh, what an exciting adventure God has prepared
for you!!! Your dad and I can’t wait to witness it all
firsthand. We love you, Theo Oliver Filart. 

Forever yours,
Mama (and Dada)

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Unforgettable imes
with Courageous Caitie

Jay Jay Lucas is the father of Caitlin Soleil


(“Courageous Caitie”) and Ethan Jairo. One of Manila’s top
wedding photographers and co-founder of Chestknots Studio,
he aims to make a difference in this world for the Lord
one click at a time.

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Dearest Caitlin,
Papa here. Your rocket ship, the claw, your poop buddy,
bath and bubble maker, your helicopter in the pool, and
shadow puppeteer! 
I was the one who taught you the silliest things; ones that
Mom didn’t like, but they were ours to enjoy. When we played
inside your tent in the room, we had the grandest time. We danced
a lot together even though you know I don’t really dance.
My fondest moments with you are the times I would bring you
to shoots, because you loved being with me. You would always ask
if you could come. Whenever I said yes, your eyes would just light
up. I’d see you hurry up to get dressed, pick a bag, pack a Chapstick
or a puzzle inside your pouch, and most importantly, choose the
shoes that you liked. 
I would see you rush into the car, say “Let’s go!” to Mom,
and happily sit in the back seat. Sometimes, you would even sit
on my lap and try to drive. You were actually pretty good at using
the steering wheel! Songs kept us up and happy on the road. You
loved asking questions, spotting airplanes, playing “I Spy,” and just
napping when you got tired. I loved watching you sleep. Those are
some of my favorite moments as your father. 
Remember when you learned to swim? I was with you in
every Baby and Me swim session. I remember that cold shower
room where we always dressed up and rushed to our class for we
were often late. But, oh my, you were a fast learner! Doing the
monkey crawl, sorting colors, blowing bubbles, kicking your feet,
and following instructions came naturally for you.
I was amazed. I was proud. 

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The water will always be our special place and one of my
greatest memories of you. Your giggles and smiles, how you would
trust me whenever you jumped—all these made our bond as tight
as glue. We would always sing the “Bye, Bye” song after every pool
session so you would know that our time is over. But we always had
10 minutes after in the kiddie pool area with the slide. It was our
fun overtime. 
In this life, honey, I imagine that you just got out of the pool
and are going on the grandest slide ever. You are probably dancing
a lot in heaven now. I’m glad I got to dance with you too; that I got
to lift you up in the air and give you kisses. I’m looking forward to
that kind of dance again.
You taught me a lot about unconditional love because of how
you loved me, your mom, and your brother Ethan. We would read
books together every night. You’d run to your bookshelf and choose
five books and all of them would be your Bible stories. And then we
would pray out loud. You would pray for everyone and just ask God
to make you eat faster. We would always say, “I love you, I love you
more, I love you most… But Jesus loves me more than most.” Then
I would sing “Jesus Loves Me” and “Jesus Loves the Little Children”
to you. And finally, you would doze off.
Pictures will forever be something we shared. I always wanted
to record everything and anything about you. You are one of my
greatest subjects. You were always interested in cameras. You always
wanted to try mine and I would let you. And you took wonderful
photos and would be so proud to show them to me.
Well, Caitie, this time, you didn’t even need to click the
shutter for people to smile. Because of how you lived your life,
you made thousands and thousands of people smile. You showed

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Jesus how courageously you lived, and He just beamed with
gladness. Honestly, it now feels as if I will just see you when I
get home from a trip. I guess living in this world is just one long
journey, and eventually, being with you and Jesus would be my
real home. 
Thank you, Caitlin—my little sunshine, my princess, master
swimmer, dancer, painter, and most of all, my loving daughter—
for giving me a glimpse of heaven here on earth.

Love,
Dad

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A Mother s Wishes
for Her Son

Feliz Lucas is helpmate and wife to Jay Jay Lucas, and


mother of Caitlin Soleil (“Courageous Caitie”) and Ethan
Jairo. An engagement fashion stylist, she is also the owner
of Lifestyle by Feliz and co-founder of Chestknots Studio.

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Mighty Ethan,
As I put my hands around you and watch you sleep, I try to
gently give you a kiss and smell you with the hopes of not waking
you up. I try to envision you as a seven-year-old child and wonder
if you would ask about your older sister, Caitie. 
The day you were born, your sister was the first one you were
introduced to. She even gave you a kiss on the forehead. She slept
in the hospital with us, your Mom and Dad, and helped us change
your diaper, give you a bath, and put you to sleep. She patted your
thighs and wanted to give you her Chapstick to calm you down.
She also wasn’t able to sleep well because you kept on crying every
two hours. Every morning, we’d bring you out and she would rub
her hands and place them on your chest to keep you warm. 
Your sister loved you unconditionally her whole life, even if she
would run away from you ’cause you would either hit her, bite her,
or step on her feet. At home, she would put up her flash cards and
teach you about colors and numbers. Mom and Dad had a hard
time feeding you while you were in your infant years. It was only
through her that you would eat—you took whatever she gave. She
would join you in the tub and regularly be the one to give you a
bath. Whenever you cried, she would get a toy and balance it on her
head. Whenever it would fall, you would laugh so hard and forget
why you were crying in the first place!
As a family, our fondest memory would always be our car rides
going to a resort in Batangas. Both of you loved the pool and the
beach, and for Mom and Dad to throw you up in the air. We were
just full of laughter! When we were at home, we always made time
to dance, and you and your sister would do funny, frog-like break

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dance moves. Everywhere we went, the two of you would instantly
get up and dance whenever we’d play your theme song! 
When we brought Caitie to the hospital, you still didn’t know
how to talk. But when you arrived in Singapore, three months after
not being able to be physically together, I heard you say Achie and
Caitie. A glass door separated the two of you and it broke my heart
to see how much you wanted to go inside. 
 The last time you were together, we were in the ICU room
and the doctors allowed you to come in for a short time. Your sister
always asked about you and would tell us that she loved you. She
put up her hand and waited for you to fist bump with her, align and
hold hands, and that was it. You saw the Chapstick on the table and
you grabbed it because you wanted your sister to use it. Caitie tried
to open all the paint bottles and place them in the saucer so you
could dip your paintbrush and paint. 
When she passed away, it was difficult for us whenever we
would see you get excited about girl toys, shoes, and clothes because
you would always say Achie or Caitie upon seeing them. At the toy
store, the only toy you kept going back to was the same toy house
that you and your sister played with, which she used to teach you
about opposites. At home, you would see the tandem bike you used
to ride together and you’d still sit in the back seat, as if expecting
your sister to pedal for you from the front seat. 
Mighty Ethan, your sister always thought about you. Whenever
we would go out together, she would get a toy and say, “For Ethan”
or “This one is for Caitie, this one is for Ethan.” And when we
would buy just one toy, she would ask, “How about Ethan?” I want
you to know that I saw how much she loved you because you are
you; not because of what you should or can become. You loved each

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other’s presence and that was enough. Though she was just three
years and seven months old when God called her to be with Him in
heaven, I am excited for the day when we will all be together again. 
But while we wait and invest our time on earth to prepare for
heaven, I want you to know that I will continue to be dependent
on God so I can be the kind of mother He wants me to be. I pray
that I will be filled with wisdom and grace to build you up to be the
kind of man God has planned you to be. I want you to know that
above everything else, I choose to love you unconditionally for who
you are and I place my full trust in you. There are three things that
I have always instilled in your sister which I wish to pass on to you:

I will disappoint you and need your forgiveness.


As you grow up, there might be instances where you will feel
disappointed because I might fail you. I want you to know that
even if I disappoint you, God will never disappoint you. Whatever
you do, always remember your audience of one—that’s Jesus. With
this, I hope I will be a good example of saying “Will you forgive
me?” and pray that it will show you that there is strength
in humility.
 
“The first to apologize is the bravest, the first to forgive is the strongest,
and the first to forget is the happiest.” (Unknown)

Pursue God and continue to learn.


I hope that you will not simply love God, but I want you to
pursue Him, find out who He is, what His promises are, and how
you can continue to discover more things about Him. Because there
is no greater joy than to fall in love with someone you know so

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well. With Him, you will feel joy and feel complete and never feel
lacking in anything.

“But be sure to fear the Lord and faithfully serve him. Think of all the
wonderful things he has done for you.” (1 Samuel 12:24)

Communicate and think of others first.


When both of you were seven months old, we learned about
baby sign language. You were able to communicate to me what
you wanted and didn’t like. As the months and years went by, we
improved at communicating with one another, so I want you to
know how important it is to communicate. Pray and ask wisdom
from God on how, what, and when to say things, especially when it
comes to serious matters, as you grow older. As much as we have so
many things we want to say, think of others before yourself. Serve
the first scoop of your favorite ice cream to others before you
serve yourself. 

“Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of


others as better than yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3)

As we continue to enjoy and explore new adventures in life,


my prayer is that both you and I will be grounded in God’s love. 
I love you so much. On to our next adventure!

Tight hugs,
Mommy

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he Power of
Reading Books

Xandra Ramos-Padilla is the Managing Director of National Book


Store and the President of Anvil Publishing. Her grandmother,
Socorro Ramos, founder of National Book Store, recruited her straight
out of college to help with the book purchasing at the chain. Xandra
has a Master’s Degree in Business Administration from the Kellogg
Graduate School of Management at Northwestern University.

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Dear S and F,
My favorite part of the day is that special time before bedtime
when we are all cuddled up together in bed reading. I used to be the
one to read out loud to you, but now you read along with me, or,
even better, we read to each other. And no matter how busy a day it
was, no matter how tired I am from work, I always feel alive again
when I’m bonding over books with you.
When you were both babies, I used to read you Goodnight
Moon and Love You Forever. I loved those books, and it seemed like
you did too. S, you loved Eric Carle’s Hungry Caterpillar books and
I even tried to have them translated to Filipino so you could learn
the language. F, for years, you only wanted to listen to Goodnight,
Goodnight, Construction Site repeatedly until our copy was dog-
eared. I did my best to imitate the sounds made by the machines.
I tried my best to encourage you both to start reading. For you
S, I printed large flash cards and taped them on objects all around
our apartment. I also used the Oxford Reading Tree, Hooked on
Phonics, and the Clifford the Big Red Dog books. I would point at
the words as I read to you, so you could read along. All of a sudden,
it just all seemed to click for you. The letters suddenly connected to
each other and you were reading on your own.
F, when it was your turn, you refused to read by yourself. But
then one day, as we were driving down EDSA, you started reading
all the signs out loud. And then you started reading Mo Willems’
Elephant and Piggie books, laughing as we turned the pages.
This summer I have been pushing you, S, to transition to
chapter books. I gave you a copy of Matilda and you told me, “You
know, Mommy, we are not alike. I don’t like reading books.” But

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then we watched Matilda the Musical, and you said, “It’s great how
they made the book come to life!” You told me during intermission
what would happen next because you had apparently read the book.
That made me secretly very happy.
You also wanted to read up on the history of Rome and
London before we visited those places. I enjoyed reading those
books with you and learning more about those places, too. I know
that sometimes I may push you more than you like, but I hope that
someday you will love books as much as I do.
Did you know it was Lola Nanay who first pushed me to start
reading? Lola Nanay is the founder of National Book Store, so
she gave us lots of books. The very first series she gave me was the
Bobbsey Twins. It was about two sets of twins who went on all sorts
of adventures. She also gave me the Nancy Drew series, which was
about a smart, strong girl who solved all sorts of mysteries. Those
stories inspired me to be brave, adventurous, and inquisitive.
Sometimes Mommy interviews authors about their work,
and asks them what inspires them to write what they write. Those
conversations lead to a deeper appreciation of their words. How I
wish I could preserve all their collective wisdom for you. In the
meantime, I always ask them to sign copies of their books for you.
They wait on our bookshelves at home for the time when you are
ready for them. I believe books come into our lives at just the right
time, when we need them most.
You will move from Geronimo Stilton, to the Magic Tree House,
to The 39 Clues. And even though you’ve already gotten to know
Harry Potter through his movies, someday you will experience the
magical world that J.K. Rowling created in her books via your own
imagination. Someday you will realize it is better to read the book

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before watching the movie. Or someday we can have our own debate
about that.
I’m sorry that I can’t be there tonight to tuck you in. I’m at
work, attending a big book fair in Chicago. I’m excited to find more
books for you to read someday as I meet many publishers and
authors from around the world. One author I listened to at last
year’s book fair was Oliver Jeffers. It was amazing to watch how he
wrote a story and illustrated it at the same time. I brought home
some of his books for you, which we have enjoyed together. I plan
to bring many more books for you, even if it means no more space
in my luggage for other kinds of shopping.
Books help me express my love for you that I cannot always
show you. When I’m at work visiting various bookstores, I’m always
on the lookout for books that might interest you. I know you love
princesses, S. And F, how you love dinosaurs, dragons, and monsters.
On nights when I can’t be with you, I’m glad you have your
books with you. They are great life companions as they show you
worlds and possibilities. I love how you both write your own poems
and stories now, and I am amazed at the power of your imagination.
I hope books continue to open your minds and explore the depths
of your hearts and souls. Our library of books and the time we read
together are my gifts to you. One day when you are all grown up,
you will open those same books and share them with your own
children. And within those pages, you will think of me, and know
that I love you forever.

Mommy

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Riding the Waves
of Life

Noelle Hilario is an entrepreneur, artist, designer, and most


importantly, mother to her eight-year-old son, Kai. Her businesses,
Flow Retreats, Hillside Cafe & Juice Bar, Brown Belly Swimwear,
and Makai Bowls are all borne out of her passions for travel, surf,
design, and healthy eating. She spends her weekends surfing in
La Union and is a brand ambassador for Roxy Philippines.

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My dearest Kai,
I want you to know that you have brought constant joy to my
life. You are such a ball of energy and sunshine! I love it when you
give me your warm hugs and kisses or whenever you show off a new
song you learned to play on the recorder in school. That instantly
brightens up my mood. You are growing up to be a smart and
confident boy, and I am amazed at how you choose to go beyond
your comfort zone and overcome your fears. It makes me proud
knowing that you have that strength within you.
As you go through life, there will be days when you feel happy
about how everything is going right. But there will also be times
when you’re struggling and the whole world seems to be conspiring
against you. Pain, rejection, and failure are all part of life’s experiences
that teach us valuable lessons so we can become better people. When
things are tough, allow yourself to feel the pain or any emotion you
are going through, but eventually, move on and more importantly,
learn from what happened. Do what is right in every situation even
when it is hard for you to do so, and always be the bigger person.
You will never regret your actions when you do what is good, and
it will only lead you to more blessings. Remember that self-pity or
negativity will not get you anywhere. Stay positive and patient as
good things take time. I find that surrounding yourself with people
who love and support you and doing things that make you happy
help you get past these hardships. Keep your chin up and smile
despite the difficulties you face—that is an act of true strength.
With darkness comes light, and eventually, things will work out for
the better. Trust in what the universe has in store for you. It will
always lead you to the right path.

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A part of every parent’s dream is for their child to be happy
and successful in life. But keep in mind that success does not always
mean having a high paying job or owning fancy clothing or the
latest gadgets. When you are pursuing your dreams, when you feel
content with what you have, that in itself is success. Go out there
and try different things that interest you. Find your passions, embrace
your uniqueness, and combine these to make a meaningful living.
Carve your own path and know that I support your every endeavor.
I am here to guide you and help you accomplish your goals.
Moreover, the biggest success you will ever have in life is
family. This is one of the most valuable lessons I have learned from
my parents (your grandparents), which I am passing on to you.
Always keep family your top priority—it should always come first
in your life. Make time for family trips, dinners, birthdays, and
important occasions. Despite the fights and arguments, your family
will always be there to love you and will be your greatest support
system. That is a gem you must hold close to your heart.
Take time to enjoy life. We only have so much time in this
world, so make it count! Sure, hard work is important, but don’t
forget to have fun. Go on outdoor adventures, treat yourself to a
massage, and spend quality time with family and friends. When
situations don’t go your way, don’t let the little things that annoy
you take over your life. Breathe in, let it go, and stop worrying. Live
in the moment. As clichéd as it may sound, it holds a lot of truth
in it. Holding on to the past or feeling anxious about the future
are things beyond our control. Be grateful for what you have in
your life right now and always be thankful for accomplishments or
blessings no matter how little or big they may be. With gratitude
comes a life of abundance and happiness.

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From being your mom, I have learned the greatest lesson which
is to unconditionally love beyond the self. Since you were born, all
my decisions—big or small—have revolved around you and what
is best for you. There was a time when a part of my life was put on
hold because I was too focused on you. I missed out on some work
opportunities, out-of-town trips with friends, and even stopped
surfing for more than a year, but all those I did not regret. Being a
mom to you is such a great blessing which I am truly grateful for. I
love watching you grow and learn new things. I love being there to
witness your milestones.
I am here to help and guide you to be the best person you
can possibly be. I pray you live a life filled with love, magic, and
adventure, and that you follow what your heart truly beats for.

Love always and forever,


Mom

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he Extraordinary
Journey of a Single Parent

Joel S. Cruz is the president and CEO of the leading Philippine


fragrance brand Aficionado Germany Perfume. Hailed “The Lord of
Scents,” Joel wears multiple hats as an entrepreneur, philanthropist,
and a father of two sets of twins: Prince Sean and Princess Synne,
and Prince Harry and Prince Harvey.

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o my dearest and precious children, Princes
Sean, Harry, Harvey, and my one and only
Princess Synne,
The way you were all brought into my life was unusual yet
possible with God’s divine grace. As a single parent, I had to wait
for years to have children. The days were equally exciting and
fearful, challenging and demanding, yet rewarding and fulfilling.
Failures happened, but with the courage and bravery I drew from
my faith in God Almighty, you were miraculously born into this
world. You are true gifts to me and to my family.
It was an easy decision for me to have children of my own
flesh and blood. I wanted to pass on the fruits of my labor to my
future heirs. I was motivated to go through the process of in vitro
fertilization, and though it was an arduous task, it has enabled me
to fulfill my desire to have beautiful children.
The act of nurturing and caring for you completes me. Even
though I am a night owl and would have heavy eyes when I wake
up, I try my best to be awake, perk you up, and give you pep talks
before you head off to school every morning. It takes a battalion
of people to help take care of the four of you (believe me, it can be
quite a challenge since you have different moods and personalities!),
but at the end of the day, the sight of you learning and growing
every day gives me a sense of fulfillment. Seeing you become
who you are destined to be fills me with pride and happiness.
As you are growing up, I will try my very best to mold each
one of you to be future role models in our society. Filipino values
and traditions should be within your hearts, to be shared and passed

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on to your future children and grandchildren. My generation may
not be perfect, but you should always strive for excellence as it is the
result of always doing better. Mistakes and failures will happen, but
these will mold you to be people of character and wisdom. You
must start living the true embodiment of Christian life. And most
importantly, I implore all of you to share your blessings by helping
the less fortunate for they are also children of God.
The day I picked each of you up from your respective cradles
at the hospital in Moscow, I shed tears of joy and felt a surge of
happiness in my heart. You heard my voice when I whispered,
“Daddy is here.” The smiles I received from you truly signified that
you are my flesh and blood, my children borne out of love for life
and living life to the fullest.
Sean and Synne, my first set of twins, your names mean
“precious gift from God” and you are truly gems in our lives.
To Sean, as the kuya of the bunch, you are truly a light in our
family. I believe that 20 years from now, you will be a good leader
as the first heir to the perfume empire I have established. You are a
very focused kid and your fascination with wheels and cars presets
you with a mind of an engineer. This would be an asset in creating
products for the company. However, if you choose to create your
own career, I will be there to support and guide you.
To Synne, my unica hija, you are truly a delight and a breath
of fresh air! Your regal bearing is truly captivating as you go on with
your ballet lessons doing pirouettes and pliés. Soon, you will learn
your arabesques. You will learn to fly high and carve an artistic
career that will make us all proud. Your life choices will always be
respected and supported; your inspired aesthetics will always be
appreciated and remembered.

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To my new twin boys Prince Harry and Prince Harvey, you are
so similar and yet so opposite. An oxymoron indeed.
Harry, your name means “ruler of the house.” Being the elder
of the two, you seem to have the bearing of a leader—serious yet
charming. I envision you to grow up to be one of the managers of
our empire, our house of perfumes. People will love you, and to be
a leader, you should learn to love people. Being a true leader means
being of service to people.
Harvey, your name means “battle-worthy,” and you must be
a fighter or a warrior. But right now, you are the most charming
baby, with doe eyes and a wide grin always plastered on your face.
In battle, you must have the capability to disarm your nemesis with
your charm. You will probably grow up to be a diplomatic person,
someone ready to conquer the world.
I want to let you all know that the four of you complete me
as a single parent. Society may give us its unsolicited critique or
disapproval of our unorthodox family, but I believe that as long
as we listen to each other, we would not be affected or dissuaded
by them. People have varying perspectives in life, and we should
respect each other’s opinions. I want to teach you this to help turn
you into intelligent and open-minded people.
You are all so precious to me. As my family and I shower
care and love on you, I hope you all grow up to be healthy, active,
playful, intelligent, loving, and God-fearing. May you grow to
follow my path and achieve greater heights as you
learn to fly free and yet be grounded with our family.

Dad

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Female Empowerment
through Sports

Ani de Leon-Brown was the first Filipina to qualify


for the Ironman Triathlon World Championships in Hawaii
in 2008. She is currently the High Performance Coach of the
Philippine Triathlon Team. She has two adorable children,
Dashell Daniel and Amaya Rosa. 

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My Dearest Amaya,
Today, we both attended a conference for a select group of
Philippine women in sports. You were the “youngest participant” at
four months of age. It was an enriching and enlightening experience
for me, and at this moment, I feel a renewed sense of hope for the
future—not only for women’s sports in the country, but also for
Filipinas in general.
It is no coincidence that I decided to bring you with me to
this gathering of strong, capable, brilliant, and inspiring women.
I may have had my apprehensions on how to manage being an
active participant while breastfeeding you at first, but I felt that in a
supportive environment surrounded by my sisters, it would be more
than okay. True enough, you charmed your way into everyone’s
hearts and they all loved you.
I attended this gathering because this is something which I
believe is important for your future, the future of your daughter
if you ever have one, and if you both choose the Philippines to be
your home. I love sports and love that it is such a great symbol of
strength and power. More importantly, I devote a lot of my time
helping other Filipina athletes achieve world-class standards of
performance. My dream is to see the day wherein there will be a
Filipina athlete so internationally successful that all the little girls in
our country will realize, “Hey, it can be done because she was able
to do so!” I believe that if more little girls see that it is indeed
possible, then more of them will be encouraged to do the same.
Perhaps you are wondering how I came to have the desire to
contribute to a culture of more empowered Filipinas. Let me tell
you about the women in your family, starting with your great-

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grandmother, Natividad Almeda-Lopez, who was the first woman
judge in the Philippines. Imagine her attending law school and
being asked to step out of the classroom from time to time as she
was the only female and the topic of discussion was suitable only for
males. She had to endure all sorts of challenges, but she paved the
way for lots of other Filipinas who at that time could only dream
of being lawyers and justices. What about your grandmother, Anna
Leah Sarabia, my own Nanay, who again defied convention and
publicly advocated lesbian rights (now more collectively known
as LGBTQ rights) and condemned violence against women and
children during the ’80s, when both were still very much taboo
subjects? My sister, your Tita Sinag, who loves mountaineering, has
blazed many a trail, literally, on local soil, and even has one named
after her! I could go on… But suffice it to say, there is a good
number of amazing women on both sides of your family tree, and
you don’t have to look too far for inspiration.
The generations of strong women in your family may have
pursued different careers, but what we shared was a similar passion
to uplift women’s lives. We did the best we could in our own little
sphere of influence so that you and your generation of girls would
have a better future. 
I started doing this kind of work without the knowledge that
I would have my own daughter one day. And now that you have
come into our lives, I feel an even greater sense of urgency and
responsibility to do even better. I’m not sure which path you will
choose when you are older, but I promise you that I will support
you and help you grow as best I can, and help you pursue your own
dreams. I want you to know that you were loved by your Nanay and
Dada from the very first moment we knew of your existence, and

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we will be there for you to cheer you on, be it from the bleachers or
any other kind of arena in life.
I only ask that in all your endeavors, do aim to put your heart
into it, and always act with well-placed courage and generosity.
You may only be a baby now, but I can already feel so much inner
strength in your spirit. Use this strength wisely, and fall not into the
trappings of material success. Focus instead on higher rewards—
that which will make you a greater human being.
And if, for some reason, my daily showering of hugs and kisses
and whispers of “I love you” are not enough for you to know how
much I care for you and your Kuya Dash, please know that the two
of you are my greatest treasures. The gift of your presence in our
lives has made your Nanay and Dada two of the happiest people
alive! Look after each other always. Nanay and Dada are already
so proud of the two of you.

Your number one fan,


Nanay

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On Practicing
Eco Habits

Paolo Abrera is a TV host and entrepreneur.


He is married to Suzi Abrera and is father to three
beautiful girls, Leona, Jade, and Antonella.

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Dear Leona, Jade, and Nella,
You probably know me as just your dad—the guy who goes
to work very early in the day for a morning show, the guy who
hosts Green Living, the guy who makes you fun stuff usually from
recycled materials, the guy who nags you to close the lights, and
the same guy you sometimes nag back to close the lights when he
forgets to do so! (The last point is most important because that
means what we’re trying to do is working. Haha!)
Girls, we live in a changing world, one with finite resources,
one with a hole in the ozone layer, one with melting polar ice
caps, one with so much garbage it’s choking all of us. I know you’re
aware, and I know you’ve seen it. But it’s not all bad. In fact, it’s
also a world filled with many beautiful things and beautiful
places—a few of which we’ve had the good fortune to see.
Remember the times we spent at the beach, sunny days playing
in the sand and paddling out on the water in a kayak in Cebu?
That wonderful rainforest walk we took in Australia, the time we
hand-fed the deer in Japan, and the time you roasted marshmallows
in your cousins’ backyard in the blue mountains and counted the
stars... Those are my happiest memories. Memories of a beautiful
world shared with you. And it’s not too late to keep it that way.
I found that the best contribution is to do your part in
whatever small way you can: segregate your trash like we do at
home, bring your reusable bags when you buy groceries, bike when
you can instead of taking the car, and more importantly, use
whatever talents you have to lend a hand.
In the past, I often asked myself, “What can I do to make
a difference so that the world stays a little bit kinder, a little bit

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cleaner, and a little bit greener for my children?” I’m not a scientist
who’s smart enough to come up with equations for computing our
carbon footprint, nor am I an inventor who can invent a new green
energy source. I’ll never be a president who can make laws to close
down our coal-power plants. I work in television.
And though it wasn’t clear to me at first, I eventually found that
my best contribution was to take advantage of whatever talents I
had to offer and come up with a show that talked about how easy
it can be to do the “little things that all add up.” Green Living has
been an ongoing passion for me and is my way of helping our
environment. Like I said, the show is about the little things, and it’s
those little things we can do every day that count. And that’s what
we’ve tried to model for you. 
I won’t be around forever, and I hope long after I’m gone there
will be days when you think back to those happy memories at the
beach, in the forest, and in the mountains. Maybe think of those
days we shared as you and your children share a similar experience.
If you are able to do that, that means we succeeded. The world is
still a good place, and those little things we taught you to do have
made a difference. Maybe those little habits we had at home rubbed
off on you, maybe those tips we shared on Green Living showed a
few other people how easy it could be to make greener choices, and
maybe those people influenced a few other people who inspired a
bunch of other people to think about making better choices for the
environment, and so on and so forth. 
You’ve all been blessed with your own talents, so use those
talents to make your small contribution to what we believe in:
a world that can be a better place if we care enough to be conscious
about the environment. That’s why we do what we do. We do it for

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you girls. So that one day you may share the same joys we’ve had
with you when you have children of your own—at a beach, on a
mountain, or under the stars. 

Like the Earth, you are our treasures,


Papa

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Surviving Loss

Camille Prats is an actress, a TV host, a school directress,


and a full-time mother to Nathan.

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Dear Nathan,
It’s such a blessing to watch you grow each day and to
experience your little milestones—precious milestones I hold in
my heart as you grow older and wiser. I hope you know that even
though Mommy is always at work, I do my best to be present at
every important event in your life: school programs, basketball
practices, art exhibits, dance classes, and soccer games. It makes me
proud to watch you do well in all the things you put your heart
into. Know that I will always be here to support you and cheer for
you. I will always be your number one fan!
You were only four years old when Daddy was called back to
God’s wonderful kingdom. It was easier for me that you didn’t have
to go through the pain of losing a loved one—you were too young
to understand that. You were the reason I remained strong because
I had to be strong for you. You didn’t deserve to have a mother who
could not cope, or who was impassive and dysfunctional. I had to
be whole, and you inspired me to be the best parent I could be for
you. Through God’s grace and our family’s support, we dealt with
grief and loss just fine.
With a lot of prayers, our wounds started to heal as time passed.
Our days got better and brighter with God’s gracious guidance.
Time came when I worried that I wasn’t enough for you, that not
having a father would create a hollow emptiness inside you that no
one could fill. When you were in preschool, your teacher told me
you would ask about heaven. You said that’s where your dad went
and that he’s never coming back. I felt a stab in my heart when I
realized that even though I try my best to fill up that missing part
in your life, it still wasn’t enough. It will never be enough.

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Having Dada (your grandfather) and Nongnong (your Uncle
John) in both our lives is a blessing. They gladly took the place of the
father you were yearning to have. Nongnong is always around when
I can’t be at your PTCs or sports games. They set great examples and
help me raise you to be God-fearing, responsible, and independent
(still a work in progress). Having Dada and Nongnong in our lives
serves as a reminder that God is looking after us. He surrounds us
with family who gives us the emotional support we need.
Tito VJ was a surprise. He came into our lives when we least
expected it. I’ve always known that God has wonderful plans for
us, and that in His own perfect time, He will show our hearts the
reason why things happened the way they did. My mind was set
that we are enough for each other—that we don’t need anybody
else. With evident effort, Tito VJ kept pursuing us and showed us
how much he wanted to play a big role in our lives. I prayed for
God to give me a sign if he was the man He had sent for us, and
when I saw how you two were getting along, I knew then that he
was indeed a package sent from above. I know losing your dad was
hard. I didn’t want you to grow up thinking that people always
leave, so I had to make sure that Tito VJ will remain constant in
both our lives and that his intention is to stay.
We want you to know that we will always be here to support
you in all your endeavors, to be your pillars of strength when you
feel weak, to celebrate your glories and comfort you at your lowest,
to tirelessly cheer for you to keep going after your dreams. No
matter what life throws at you, we will be here.
You are a blessing I am most grateful for each day. Having you
makes me feel that I must have done something good in my life.
You are the reason why I strive to be better, my driving force who

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inspires me to get to where I want to be. And I do this all for and
because of you. I pray for guidance and wisdom that I may raise
you after God’s own heart, that you may live out the purpose He
has for you. That your life be a reflection of God’s love.
You are my greatest achievement and being called your mother
is what I am most proud of. Go ahead and chase after your dreams.
I will be right here watching you grow into the fine young man I
hope and pray you will become.

Love,
Mommy Camille

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Achieving Harmony
through Dialogue

Risa Hontiveros-Baraquel is the mother of four


beautiful children—Kiko, Issa, Ianna, and Sinta.
She currently serves as a Philippine senator
focusing on universal health care.

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Dear girls and Kiko,
I really enjoy it when we’re all at home together. The house
feels and even sounds so peaceful. It’s been said that communication
is the key to a peaceful home, and because we’re always talking, we
can sit together while still doing our own thing.
Kiko, I’m so grateful when you drive me places. I take every
opportunity to ride with you when you’re driving for your sisters
because I love hearing how you and Maris are and how your work
is coming along. I also love asking for your advice about your
sisters. Issa, we have the sweetest and most generous conversations,
and even when we fight, I can fall back on the conversations, and
they always come again! Ianna, the lovely and powerful poems you
text me out of the blue on some mornings just make my day. I stay
up late on the rare occasion you want to talk a blue streak because
I am learning to respect your space and silence. Sinta (poor girl,
you still sleep in my room, so you have no choice but to talk to
Mama!), you know you’ll always have my ear and it cracks me up
when, if I go into hugot mode, you say, “Okay, Mama, I don’t want
to hear this!”
Creating harmony through honest conversations might sound
like a contradiction in terms, because sometimes we have to talk
about inconvenient truths that could generate conflict. Sometimes,
we argue to establish superiority, not to cultivate harmony. But I
guess we’re learning as a family that the way to peace is through
truth. So we talk about taking care of Lola, new love, failure, fears,
relationship issues, health choices, happy crushes, organizational
responsibilities, special friends, and whether or not to file a
complaint about bullying in school. Sitting around our

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harmonious table right now, I realize that our honest conversations
have also given us this shared silence that feels just like home.
Remember what I told you kids about how Jesus worked
miracles? That’s because He was “buo ang loob.” When He said
something, He made it so. The other important thing about this
story is the power of words. They can create something, but they
can also destroy. Having said that, always choose your words
carefully. They can create a world, name creatures and persons, and
affirm them as good. But they can also cause so much pain and
sorrow. And these can’t be unsaid, only assuaged over time and
through other words and silences. Some words or phrases should
always be spoken not just because of good manners and right
conduct, but because they are powerful keys to peace and harmony.
Magandang umaga po! Please. Salamat! Walang anuman! I’m sorry.
(And when we already mean it, I forgive you.)
I sit here at the table writing this while you all work silently on
your own thing, till the next time one of you speaks up, weaving
our bonds stronger between words and silences.

All my love, hugs, and kisses,


Mama

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he Unparalleled
Joys of Adoption

Chary Mercado is the adoptive mother of two children. 


She is involved in matching children in need of homes with families
living abroad through the Intercountry Placement Matching
Committee. Her other advocacies include promoting the rights
of persons with disabilities, educating and retraining prisoners,
and running a feeding and literacy center for indigent children.

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My dearest son,
When I was in my late 20s, I met a man who seemed to
be on top of the world. He was rich, well-respected in the most
elite circles, and was married to officially one of the loveliest women
in Manila. But one day, he confided in me that nothing gave him as
much pride as his son. He loved him ferociously.
That stumped me. How could a five-year-old boy who had
not even had a chance to compete in school or sports do anything
for his dad? That shows you how little I, as a married woman
who had earlier eschewed the thought of having kids, knew about
parenting. I’m not sure if it was the fear of missing out on life’s
greatest roller-coaster ride, or if it was just a surge of maternal
juices kicking in, but I started to look at all families with intense 
interest after that. I soon realized I wanted my turn at bat to be 
someone’s mom. I wanted your dad to have the chance to share his 
brilliant mind and his corny jokes with his kids. I wanted to share 
beach blankets on the sand with a wriggly water sprite. I wanted to 
teach someone the joy of ice cream and chocolate cake. There was
so much “joy” and “wisdom” to pass on.
But I didn’t want to do things the normal way. I saw no
reason to create my own biological child when there were so many
unparented children in the Philippines. Ever the practical ones,
your dad and I were keener to adopt and we put the word out
to a select few in the family.
It happened like in the movies. One random day, I got a call
that someone had found a baby. It was you, of course! Would I take
the foundling? I said yes and was in such a rush to tell your dad that
I forgot to ask if the baby was a boy or a girl. As with traditional

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biological parents, there was nothing premeditated or engineered
here. It was just a big, “open arms” yes.
I may not have told you this before, son, but not everyone
was as keen on this adoption idea as us. Some people were cautious
because they had very little exposure to it. My parents had been
pining for a grandchild for ages, but they didn’t expect the first one
to appear in an instant. They never said anything negative, but I
headed them off with a long letter that addressed whatever fears 
they may have had. I assured them that those fears could always
be addressed with the help of professionals if need be. Through
the years, the assistance of various experts has indeed helped us 
address the things we didn’t know.
When we tapped all these people, we were never intending to 
make you the straight-A kind of kid. We had other goals. When
you were just a baby, we thought long and hard about what kind
of child we hoped to raise. We zeroed in on only three qualities: 
happy, secure, and kind. Every time we are in a quandary as to
which school to send you to or which hobby is best, we go back
to these three goals to keep us on track.
You asked us a few years ago why we devoted so much time,
energy, and money to finding those trains, robots, and cars to
complete your precious sets. It’s because those things made you so,
so happy, and seeing your delight was the ultimate drug for us.
But building your confidence and kindness was and still is a
challenge for us. How do we do that? When we say—and honestly
mean—that we find you so witty and handsome, does it make a
difference? Or has our obvious bias whittled away the credibility of
our praise? How do we set your heart at ease that as you are
today, you are already God’s most amazing gift to us? You are a

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heartbreakingly beautiful reminder that He trusts me and your dad
to be inspired lifelong guides to one of His greatest creations. 
Teaching you kindness is something I particularly have
struggled with. Thankfully, you have a generous nature, surprising
your younger sister by bequeathing her your gadgets. But that is
generosity. Kindness is something much harder to impart. Whenever
I reprimand the household help too harshly, or laugh grudgingly at
your nasty jokes, I wonder how on earth I can model the virtues I
myself can’t get a handle on.
So let me close this letter with a prayer. If love is indeed the 
greatest virtue, then thankfully that has never been in short supply 
in our house. Hopefully, that assurance of our unconditional love
will boost your morale and self-esteem when your ego takes a hit
from the many unkind people or painful disappointments that lurk.
Hopefully, our love will multiply inside of you and spill out in the
form of kindness to all you meet who are in need. Hopefully.
We are imperfect people and consequently, imperfect parents.
You are 16 and I know from my own experience that teenagers see
the fissures and flaws of their parents in hyper-focus. For all our
failings, I beg your understanding. Perhaps it will help to remember
that our journey together began as a leap of faith—that with an
abundance of love, the missing biological connections wouldn’t
matter at all. They didn’t matter in the beginning, and 16 years
into this parenting experiment, the adoptive nature of our first
connection has become irrelevant, a postscript at best. You
and your sister will always be our greatest treasures—take
refuge in the fact that that will never change.

Mom

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Conquering the World
on Your Own erms

Lea Salonga is a singer, actor, wife, mother, foodie, traveler,


singing coach, newspaper columnist, and lover of life.

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My dearest Nicole,
There are only a few days left before your 10th birthday.
Daddy and I cannot believe how quickly time has flown, and
how you have grown to be a headstrong, determined, tough,
smart, beautiful cookie. To say that we are proud of you is the
understatement of the year.
When I was still baking you in my tummy, I could only
dream of what my little girl would be like, and what kind of mother
I would become. Would I be as tough as your Abu (my mom),
or would I be different? There were questions constantly swirling
in my head, and new ones would arise as I watched my belly
undulate when you would change positions. Or hiccup. Or both.
Over these many years, we have watched you grow. We
have seen what kind of person you are. You are fearless when
trying something new, but immediately run to us when you get
a boo-boo, a waterfall of tears streaming down your face. That
look of wonder and accomplishment when you’d get something
right. The frustration you’d feel when you thought you failed,
which meant we had to keep telling you to never give up, and
that things worth having don’t always come easy.
However, we are also the ones left in awe of you when
you very eloquently express an opinion about politics, television
shows, food, and fun. How creative you are when you sit in front
of a laptop, turn on Minecraft in creative mode, and erect some
of the most breathtaking structures one is able to make. Your
drawings and sketches reflect a thoughtful, contemplative spirit,
the depths of which are beyond even my own comprehension.
And the goofiness of your soul when you do something silly,

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accompanied by delicious laughter that makes our souls laugh along
with you.
We are raising you to be your own person, and not a mere
reflection of your ancestors, many of whom are, in their own right,
illustrious and successful. We are training you to carve out your
own unique path through which you will navigate the world. We
are pushing you to be outspoken about the issues you feel strongly
about while still remaining respectful and empathetic of others.
We can see that as you grow you are figuring all that out, and
will conquer the world, on your own terms. 
I truly cannot ask for much more of you, except that you
remain exactly as you are. And know that no matter how tall
you grow, you’ll always be my baby. All Daddy and I can promise
you is to nurture your gifts and encourage you to keep trying at
whatever your dreams might be. We will always be there for you,
no matter what.
Happy birthday, my sweet, sweet girl, favorite travel buddy,
fellow cartoon junkie, and junk food connoisseur. We love you
very much.

Love,
Mommy

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he Journey
into Adulthood

Edric and Joy Mendoza are parents to five children.


They are homeschooling advocates, speakers, and brand endorsers.
Joy writes regularly for her blog, Teach with Joy, while Edric is a
businessman and the lead anchor of ANC’s On the Money,
a daily show on personal finance.

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My Dearest Elijah,
Today is a very special day as we formalize your passage into
a young man. You are no longer a boy in my eyes, in the eyes of
the men who matter in our lives, and in the eyes of your mom.
In this new stage, my prayers for you are the following:
1. Be a young man of purpose. Grow and develop like Jesus
did: wisdom, stature, favor with God and men. (Luke 2:52) Don’t
waste time doing things that don’t fall under any of these growth
areas. As you do, have BIG dreams for God’s glory. Don’t fall into
the culture of mediocrity. Instead, try to envision the greatest thing
God can do through you with all that He has blessed you with. Do
all you do for His glory, my son. (Deuteronomy 6:5-7)
2. Be a young man of purity. This stage will usher in all sorts
of curiosity especially toward your body, a woman’s body, and the
natural sexual interaction God has designed between the two, but
in the context of marriage. As I’ve told you before, I cannot protect
you (not completely anyway) from the devil’s temptations in this
area—pornography, immoral relationships, and things of that
nature. But I can prepare you. This is my way of doing so. Letting
you know that it is a beautiful thing in the right context, in
marriage. “How can a young man stay pure?” The Bible says,
“By studying God’s Word.” (Psalm 119:9)
Remember that this is the only sin in the Bible that says “flee.”
(1 Corinthians 6:18) So many times, this is what you might have
to literally do when friends (maybe even relatives) expose you
to temptation.
3. Be a young man of strength and courage. As Joshua was
charged by God to take on leadership from Moses to complete the

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task of bringing His people to the Promised Land, God exhorted
him to be strong and courageous several times. He needed this pep
talk to accomplish the great task God had laid before him.
My son, the same is true for you. God has a great task before
you. I don’t know exactly what it is, but I know you will need
strength and courage. And that’s what I loved about our Apo
climb. It pushed you to apply strength and courage as we scaled
the boulders, pushed through the thickets, traveled the narrow
paths, braved the frigid cold, endured the scorching heat, and
braced ourselves against the wild cats! Life will hurl at you many of
these roadblocks that will require you to be strong and courageous,
pursuing the purpose and purity I encouraged you with earlier.
4. Be a young man of love. Jesus modeled this best. Fix
your eyes on Him, my son. Not daddy. I will do my best to model
Christ-likeness. Copy that. Where I fail, please forgive me and do
NOT do the same. Love like Jesus did. Have compassion toward
others. Be motivated ultimately by this. Help the poor, orphans,
and widows.
I love you with all my heart, my young man. I am very proud
of the young man you are becoming. I am here for you every step
of the way, as long as God allows, and solely by His grace.

Love,
Dad

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Dearest Elijah,
It is hard to believe that you are no longer the little baby
I once held in my arms. Have I prepared you enough, taught
you enough to navigate the years ahead of you—years that
will be marked by hormonal changes, growth spurts, and
emotional tests?
In our family, we don’t call these years the teenage years.
Your dad and I have explained that 13 means you are a young
adult. But this doesn’t mean that you won’t have to deal with
the same challenges that “teenagers” go through. You will meet
transitions, upsets, disappointments, failures, wins, highs, and
lows, and I want you to understand first and foremost that this
is all a part of growing into the person God has planned you to be.
You may be growing up in a positive home environment
where you are treasured and loved unconditionally by your dad,
siblings, and me. However, not everyone outside of our family is
going to applaud your principles, like who you are as a person, or
give you a medal for effort. Sometimes, reality will fall incredibly
short of your expectations. Worst of all, something precious and
important to you may even be taken away.
As you know, something unprecedentedly evil happened
to me when I was just a little older than you are now. We have
talked about how I was a victim of rape. This tragic experience
awakened me to the reality of evil in the world, deep pain, and
darkened hope. I think now, more than ever, it’s necessary for me
to remind you that we live in a fallen, sinful world. My tragedy
was not unique. There are many people who go through harrowing
circumstances, some much more terrible than what I had to endure.

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I tell you this not to frighten you or make you afraid of your future.
I tell you this because you must understand that there is brokenness
in this world because of sin, and someday, this brokenness may
pierce your own heart. You may question everything you believe
about who God is as you meet a crossroad where you must face the
question of faith.
It is at this juncture when you must cling to the truth that
will anchor you. God loves you. He has a plan for your life. Even
if you may not always be able to see this plan with your physical
eyes, believe that it is good because God is good. In the book of
Hebrews, it says, “Faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the
conviction of things not seen.” (Hebrews 11:1) My prayer is that
you will have the maturity to interpret every circumstance with
spiritual eyes—to have faith in God’s character.
Years ago, I chose to believe that God never wastes our pain.
He is a redeemer. He causes all things to work together for the
good of those who love Him. “And we know that God causes all
things to work together for good to those who love God, to those
who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)
When I look at my life today, you are a testament to this
goodness. God gave me a child like you to love. He gave me your
dad and our family. Furthermore, He gave me the privilege of
serving Him and telling others about Him by using my life’s story.
God is also writing your life’s story. Let Him continue to do
so by trusting Him always. Don’t try to grab the pen when the plot
becomes uncomfortable. He’s got everything under control.
In the meantime, walk with Him one day at a time. Love
and obey Him. If you do so, you don’t need to worry about what
lies ahead. As Jesus said, “These things I have spoken to you, so that

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in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but
take courage; I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)
When I think about you growing up, this is what comforts
me. If you have Christ in your life, you will be okay. You will have
His peace, joy, grace, hope, power, and presence. This means that
you will have everything you need to persevere and to overcome the
obstacles and challenges you will face. Best of all, you will come out
of these life lessons and tests stronger, better, and wiser. You will be
equipped for the special work that God will entrust you with. You
will also be able to maximize your gifts and talents for His glory.
Finally, let me end this letter with the charge and the
encouragement that God gave to Joshua when he was about to
conquer the Promised Land. “No man will be able to stand before
you all the days of your life. Just as I have been with Moses, I will
be with you; I will not fail you or forsake you… Only be strong
and very courageous; be careful to do according to all the law
which Moses my servant commanded you; do not turn from it to
the right or to the left, so that you may have success wherever you
go. This book of the law shall not depart from your mouth, but
you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful
to do according to all that is written in it; for then you will make
your way prosperous, and then you will have success. Have I not
commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or
be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”
(Joshua 1:5, 7-9)
Like Joshua, God has a purpose for you to fulfill. It stretches
out before you just as the Promised Land did before the Israelites.
This thought is both intimidating and exciting! Furthermore, your
dad, your siblings, and I may not be physically present everywhere

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you go (even if we would like to be), but God will ALWAYS be
with you. And just like Joshua, He is telling you to be strong and
courageous, to let His Word and principles guide you. If you do so,
you will be prosperous and successful.
Know that I love you always, through everything. And no
matter where you are or where you go, remember that I will be
praying for you, entrusting you to the One who is able to uphold
you and shield you.

Always here for you,


Mom

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he Pursuit of
rue Beauty

Rissa Mananquil Trillo is wife to Paolo and mom to


Enzo, Celestia, and Audra. The Philippine Star beauty
columnist, model, and entrepreneur is the owner and
co-founder of Happy Skin cosmetics, a homegrown brand
of skin-caring makeup, and was former president of the
Professional Models Association of the Philippines.

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Dearest Celestia and Audra,
It’s the eve of Audra’s birthday as I write this. She’ll be turning
two tomorrow. We had a simple celebration today by swimming
because Audra said that’s what she wanted to do. The shrieks and
giggles you shared were priceless. It makes me teary-eyed thinking
about how fast you’ve both grown.
By the time you can read this, your body will be going through
changes—both awkward and beautiful. Maybe you’ll get teased,
but you’ll be complimented, too. When I was your age, I had a
neighbor who called me names. This neighbor was even my crush!
In high school, my friends would always tease me for my looks.
I was an ugly duckling growing up, so I was always on a quest
to look better. I loved experimenting with various fashion and
beauty products. I even spent one Christmas with a half-burnt face
because of beauty boo-boos!
I’m sure this doesn’t paint the typical picture of a future fashion
model. I graduated from Ateneo with a degree in BS Management
and I was always a Dean’s Lister. During my Poveda grade school
and high school days, I was a nerd and a consistent honor student.
Perhaps that’s why Lolo Robert wanted me to become a lawyer and
Mama Millet wanted me to become a doctor.
Who would have thought I would become a model? I modeled
for over 15 years.
I’m also passionate about my role as a beauty columnist and
even created my own makeup line. So don’t ever think that the way
you are now is the way you will be for life.
Pursue your passions. Intelligence will never stop being
beautiful. By doing something you are passionate about, whether

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as a hobby or for a living, you become more connected to who you
are and ultimately, more beautiful.
As you grow up trying to define your own sense of style and
beauty, here are seven things I wish I knew when I was your age:
1) Fashion is like quicksand. The harder you try, the more
you sink.
I realized that the worst reason to buy something is because it
looks good on a friend or an actress. It’s okay to be inspired, but
don’t let glamour blind you. Buy something because it looks good
on you.
I remember the first time I wore a fedora hat. I paired it with
skinny jeans, ankle boots, and two layered tops. I felt cool because
I was the only one dressed like that. My classmates laughed behind
my back. Some told me straight to my face that I was baduy. It
made me sad, but I continued to wear my hat because I liked it.
A year later, I was asked to appear in a campaign for a teen
clothing line. I was only 12 years old and it was my first time to
model! The stylist liked my hat and told me to wear it during all
our photo shoots for the brand. That “baduy” hat later became my
trademark for the teen clothing brand.
2) Wear it only if you can relax and forget about it.
I cringe every time I see old photos of myself in clothes I did
not feel at ease in. Instead of enjoying the moment and the people
I was with, I was too preoccupied with my ill-fitting outfit. That
plunging neckline I had to keep adjusting. That last pair of shoes I
forced myself to buy even if it wasn’t in my size. Fashionable? More
like fashion victim. A fashion ensemble should be comfortable
enough for the wearer to forget about it, but fabulous enough to
be remembered by those who see it.

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3) Mistakes pave the way for perfecting personal style.
I’ve tried it all. Sporty. Preppy. Rocker. Glam. Hip-hop.
Grunge. Girl-next-door. Boho-chic. Minimalist. Avant-garde.
Classic. When it comes to discovering your personal style, your
teen years are the best time to experiment. You’ll make mistakes,
but that’s okay. Mistakes are what help you develop and understand
your own sense of personal style.
4) Rise above your flaws.
Classmates would make fun of me because I was dark-skinned,
skinny, and shapeless. After receiving so many labels, what I did was
accept these names and transcend them. Even if I wasn’t the tallest,
thinnest, or prettiest, I made it my mission to be the best model
people could work with. One of my modeling milestones was when
I modeled for United Colors of Benetton as one of the first Filipinos
to represent a global campaign that celebrated all forms of beauty.
5) Confidence is not “They will like me.” Confidence is “I will
be fine if they don’t.”
Say “thank you” when complimented. Don’t look away or look
at the floor when someone says you’re smart, pretty, or talented.
Saying thank you is the best response a confident person can give.
6) The beauty world is magical. Everyone can look beautiful
with the right beauty tools!
I’m passionate about my beauty advice column because
growing up, I was teased a lot and I wanted to find the best beauty
solution. That’s why I would always try so many products and
recommend them to my readers if they worked. I wanted to help
transform others through my column because I knew how it felt to
be called names. Ultimately, I discovered that with proper care and
the right products, you can become even more beautiful.

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Truly good makeup should be your ally—not your enemy—in
making you look and feel more beautiful! I realized it’s best to invest
in makeup that also cares for the skin. Trends come and go, but
overall skin? It’s most beautiful when it’s healthy and happy.
7) That awkward stage of puberty is not going to last forever.
My high school barkada is called the UDC, short for the Ugly
Duckling Crew. It started when one of our kabarkada’s boyfriends
saw all our old high school photos and teased us about our looks.
With our overbite teeth, braces, excess facial hair, pimply round
faces, oily skin, ill-fitting clothes, and horrible haircuts, he said
sobrang pangit namin and that we were all ugly ducklings! And so,
the Ugly Duckling Crew was born.
Today, we continue to call ourselves the UDC. It’s a wonderful
reminder to never be insecure of how you look, no matter how
pretty you think your friends are. You’ll later realize that you have
turned from that seemingly ugly duckling into the prettiest swan
of them all!

Love,
Mommy

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On Finding the
Right Mentor

Cyan Abad-Jugo has written a book called Father and Daughter


with her father Gémino H. Abad, a book of stories for children
entitled Leaf and Shadow, and a short novel for young adults called
Salingkit: A 1986 Diary. She lives in Quezon City with
her husband and twin hobbits, Megan and Colin.

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My dear child,
You said that when you grow up, you want to be like your
teacher Mr. K because he is kind and handsome. I’m not sure
you can at all help what you look like on the outside. As my own
mother, your Wawa, has said: we must be grateful to have two eyes,
a nose, a mouth, and ears. And as I have told you before, what is
more important is that you are handsome on the inside. And to be
handsome on the inside is—among other things—to be kind.
I am very glad you have found someone to admire who is not
an immediate part of the family. Sometimes your dad and I become
very busy and are not always there with you, not always there to
answer your questions. Mr. K also knows more about your favorite
subject, Science, than either of us. You can ask him your questions
about animals and plants. You can ask him to explain things or ask
him what made him decide to be a teacher. You have observed he
is strict, but that is okay with you. I think you see that he is strict
because he cares for you, and rightly demands the best from you.
As you grow older, you will find yourself among all kinds of
people. Some will become friends, others will be acquaintances, and
a few might even be people you don’t like. There could be bullies,
liars, and mean persons. Then there will be people you look up to,
usually an older person, a teacher, or a mentor.
A mentor is someone who is wise. The word “mentor” comes
from the story of Odysseus. When Odysseus did not return home
for 10 years after the Trojan War, his son Telemachus went looking
for him. With Telemachus went Athena, the goddess of wisdom,
in the form of Odysseus’ trusted friend, Mentor. She guided
Telemachus through great dangers, gave good advice, and treated

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him with great compassion and charity. A good mentor will
possess all these qualities: wisdom, courage, compassion, and a love
for humankind.
Now there are many people you like to follow on YouTube
and in the movies. You like them because they are fun, funny, clever,
and inventive. These qualities are admirable, and these people are—
in their way—admirable, too. But I hope you will not always be
guided by them, or at least not by them only. Sometimes they can
also be irreverent. If you make them your mentors and imitate their
behavior, I don’t think you’d be the best possible YOU that you can
be. In other words, you have to be careful in choosing your mentor.
One of my first mentors was my aunt, Tita Thel. She lived with
us while I was growing up. Incidentally, she was a college professor.
While my dad and mom were busy at work, she would come home
early and keep me company. She sometimes had a little something
to bring home—banana cue or sweet corn, a comic book or a
coloring book, or a bit of stationery. In her spare time, she would
take me to a park or zoo, a playground or bookstore. When my
cousins spent the summer with us, she took all 20 of us to the
carnival, all by herself. We filled up a whole jeepney!
Mentors are people you’d like to imitate. Since my Tita Thel
taught Chemistry, I also wanted to do experiments, and she helped
me keep my own chemistry set. When she checked papers, she
would hand me her black and red ballpens and an empty test
booklet so that I could make my own test to answer and check, too.
When I said I wanted to write letters like her, she bought me my
own pad of writing paper and envelopes. Because she liked to paint,
she gave me my own set of watercolor paints and brushes and let
me paint beside her. Sometimes she would tell me how to do things

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better, and then praise my perseverance and take photographs of me
or my work to send to my cousins and grandma in the province.
Mentors are people who take an interest in what you do, and
encourage you to do your best. When I started collecting comics,
she added to my collection. When I grew fond of horror films, she
took me to the movies. When I wanted to learn a new language,
she enrolled in a German language course with me and we became
classmates. It was wunderbar (that is German for “wonderful”)!
You know our Tita Thel. You like to greet her at the door
and demand some kind of surprise. She often has something to give
you, but I don’t think you like her just because of her little presents.
You like her because she is thoughtful, generous, and kind. She likes
to joke with you and tell stories. She also takes an interest in your
stories, the movies you watch, the games you play, the books you
read, and the drawings and artwork you create.
My wish for you is to always find a mentor at every stage
of your life, someone to encourage you in all your interests and
endeavors, someone to help you decide what is right and what is
wrong. A mentor would always wish for your safety, but would also
keep challenging you to be wunderbar, to be the best you can
possibly be.
Yes, that sounds just like Mr. K, and I hope you meet with
people like him all through your life.

Love,
Mom

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Experiences of an
Entrepreneurial Mom

A passionate mom to three children, Janice Crisostomo-Villanueva


is an advocate of parenting and mom-entrepreneurship in the
Philippines. She is the founder of MommyMundo.com, a resource
portal and community of moms, as well as its lifestyle event, Expo
Mom, which goes all over the country. Janice is also half of the
management team behind Creative Juice, an events management and
communications agency which she runs with her husband Gary.

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Dear Coby, Zach, and Reese,
By now you guys must know how much your dad and I love
the three of you, how you are the center of our lives, and how being
your mom and dad is our favorite roles to play. Now that you are
19, 17, and 10 respectively, no longer babies or toddlers needing
our full attention and care, we’re able to enjoy your company
more as individual personalities. So far, you never fail to amaze us,
entertain us, make us laugh, make us proud, and bring us joy.  
Time really has flown by. Even if we had the privilege of
being ever present in your lives due to our flexible schedules as
entrepreneurs, you guys just grew from adorable infants to the
tween, teen, and grown-up you are today in the blink of an eye.
Looking back on your formative years, I can’t help but think of
all the memories we’ve made together. Some stand out more than
others such as...
How I found out you were growing in my tummy. With
Coby, our honeymoon baby, the whole family (clan) rejoiced with
the news. With Zach, I was made to stay home from the second
trimester onward because you wanted to come out early. Finally
with Reese, Dad thought I was gifting him with an iPod shuffle
only to realize it was a pregnancy test kit with two red lines that I
was flashing in front of his face.
Breastfeeding each of you as babies. How it was always
challenging at the start, but almost automatic after a few weeks.
I think those will always be my favorite moments with you, worth
all the time and effort. How we breastfed in the car, fitting rooms,
dark corners—all before there were breastfeeding rooms in malls.
How, years after, with the concept of breastfeeding rooms being

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new to everyone, Reese and I excitedly tried out one only to find
people’s faces pressed against the glass walls, as if we were fish in
an aquarium.
Play time through the years. Jumping on beds, goofy dancing,
shooting balls, reading and singing together, painting with Baby
Mozart playing in the background, swimming in the inflatable
pool, pretend playing with Reese’s dolls, playing card and board
games—we just never seem to run out of things to do. Now I
may look devastated when I lose, but there’s actually a sense of
fulfillment seeing you guys beat us all on your own.
How being your mom sparked my creative spirit. Being
passionate about being a mom to you guys made me realize what
was lacking out there, that there were better ways of doing things
and helping moms just like me. Did you know that along the
course of your childhood, I had wanted to be a breastfeeding
counselor, kids’ party planner, baby shop owner, nursing wear
designer, publisher, columnist, writer, scrapbook artist, and website
developer? With the pure inspiration you constantly provided me
with, I was able to pursue most of these, and I am sure there are
even more fulfilled dreams ahead for us.
How you teach me what’s truly important. Of all people, you
know firsthand how I’ve always been involved in a lot of different
things, sometimes all at the same time. I hope that the sometimes
crazy, usually busy ride you’ve been on has been more like that
awesome Harry Potter roller coaster in Florida than a bad horror
booth. We’ve always tried our best to put you guys at the top of our
priorities, and that accounts for why you would always come along
to our events, the office, and how we’ve tried to make you think
packing loot bags is one of the most fun experiences in life. We’ve

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always tried to build our business together with passion, a spirit of
fun, and a strong purpose behind whatever we do for your future.
Sometimes, I wish I could turn back time and have more
moments with you just by my side, holding my hand. But come
to think of it, I’m also having the time of my life experiencing new
things with you in these more progressive times...
Taking each other’s #OOTDs and laughing at how posing
does not come naturally to us most of the time. Waiting for
your Mother’s Day and birthday greetings and feeling your love
through either a status post or a handmade card. Having engaging
conversations at the dinner table about how your days went, current
events, or new jokes from 9GAG. Seeing the three of you looking
at each other in amusement whenever Dad and I share our “during
our time” stories. Comparing Spotify playlists and laughing aloud
to old episodes of FRIENDS. Knowing how you secretly love it
when I burst into your room with my extemporaneous dancing
and you guys would say, “Get loose!” Hanging out in Starbucks
together, with each of us just doing our own thing and still being
happy. Visiting the Blessed Sacrament after Sunday mass and
finding peace in that extra set of prayers to start off a new week.
Life did not only change when I became a mom. It totally
transformed my life into something wonderful, beautiful, and truly
blessed. Thank you for always inspiring me and enriching my life.
I pray that no matter what happens in our lives and in the world
around us, that you all just stay the way you have
always been—my sweet, thoughtful, funny, caring,
God-fearing sons and daughter.

I love you,
Mom

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Discovering Fashion
and Cultivating Style

Pauline Suaco-Juan. Wife. Mother.


After 15 years at the helm of Preview, the country’s
best-selling fashion magazine, she quit without a plan other
than to be the best wife and mother that she could be. Six
months down the line, she’s pleasantly surprised that the
thought of staying at home does not faze her one bit.

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o my dear Yas, Coq, and Boo,
Let it be said that I never dressed you up like dolls even if I
could have. When I was much younger, my vision of motherhood
was leading a kikay fest of mini-mes dressed in flouncy ruffles,
gladiator sandals, and flowers in their hair. But it was not meant to
be, and instead, fate dealt me a handful of football jerseys and high-
tech trainers. The three of you know this, and, in fact, tease me
about my would’ve-been daughter relentlessly. I’ve told you many
times before that I had prayed for a girl because I wanted to play
dress up; there is something so primeval about this shared bonding
ritual, something sacred about sharing how best to present yourself
to the world. But since you are boys, Dad and I decided that I’d try
to keep fashion as impalpable as possible—save all those matching
outfits, like the striped sailor tops with camo-print cargo pants that
I made all of you wear when we were traveling so that I could spot
you from a mile away—because we didn’t want to call attention to
the “cute little Thom Browne (he of the bitin pants phenomenon)
wannabes.” We wanted you to learn, without the aid of fashion,
how to speak for yourselves. 
Now that you are older and have started to put your own
outfits together, I find it imperative to school you on the basic
tenements of style and fashion, and to write them down in this
letter, something you can reread over the years for you will view
fashion and style with different eyes as you age. It will start in high
school, how you will be judged for what you are wearing, and you
will need to develop a sartorial vocabulary that you can use to your
advantage. To do so, you need to understand how to use fashion
and develop your own style. 

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Style is what you make of the things you like and the causes
you care about. Do you like polished leather wingtips and the
sound they make as you walk across a wooden floor, or do you
prefer to be barefoot with the sand between your toes and the wind
on your back? Finding your style, however, isn’t as simple as taking
a pop quiz, although I am sure if you Google it, you will find 101
ways to discover your style, which inevitably leads you down that
road of self-discovery. Style is something you cultivate through the
years—through the prose and poetry you read, the images—artistic
or otherwise—that grow on you, the travels (real and imagined) you
embark upon, the people and characters you aspire to be. The more
you love, the more you risk, the more adventures and heartbreak
you have, the more nuanced and distinct your style becomes.
Fashion is but one way to express style, for it is what gives you
the courage to dress in a plaid button-down and tapered trousers
when everyone else is decked out in sweats. 
Fashion, to put it bluntly, is the business of selling clothes
and accessories (although most fashion houses will likely say that
they are in the business of selling dreams, and if you’ve ever seen
a Calvin Klein ad—nubile bodies, all impossibly cool and overtly
sexual—you realize how brands paint a particular lifestyle for
themselves). Fashion manifests in seasonal trends and brands, from
that Neymar x Jordan Hypervenom collab that everyone is crazy
about to the Savile Row suit you purchase to signal that you have
“arrived” to athleisure (fashionspeak for refined workout wear) and
the movement toward health and well-being. But before you write
off fashion as purely the work of market forces, I can tell you from
experience that to be fashionable is to be open and ready for what is
new. The last thing I want to happen is for you to decide that you’re

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preppy and build a whole wardrobe of blue shirts and chinos (it
happens; you have titos like this). Fashion exists so style can evolve.
The most valuable thing you can learn from fashion is to go forward
with the times. 
You’re probably rolling your eyes now and saying “there goes
Mom again with her lofty ideas,” but I’ve really always believed that
knowing how the system works makes you a better player. I do have
two practical and non-negotiable tips you should make part of your
sartorial strategy. The first is to wear only what fits you. Tailor-fit
your clothes if you must because they will look so much better on
you and you will feel much better in them, too. The second: Do not
spend beyond your means. There will be brands that will produce
the most devastatingly have-to-have statement pieces, and while
they can confer status or boost your self-confidence, any pogi points
you gain for sporting the latest Yeezys disappear if you need to beg,
borrow, or steal to acquire them. If you can’t be, as they say in the
industry, “fasyon,” you better pray that you’ve honed your personal
style. In the words of the late great designer Yves Saint Laurent,
“Fashions fade; style is eternal.”

Talk to me soon?

Mom

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Four Generations
of Fathers

Brian Adrian H. Borleo is a father of three.


When not dumping more content on the Internet, he stays home and
enjoys the company of his rambunctious children. Yes, he really is
overweight, and he plans to work on that soon right now.

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o my children,
I first thought of writing this letter when I first learned I was
considered clinically obese. I was a hundred pounds overweight. As
I write this, I’m 120 pounds over. I’m not proud of it, but I vowed
to myself that I will do something about it. I want to see you all
grow up. I want to give my daughters—that’s you, Ate and Bunso—
away at the altar. But just in case something happens, and I’m no
longer around to tell you these stories by the time you’re old enough
to understand it—well, I’m a writer, and writers write.
There are a lot of things I could teach you. But probably
it’s best that I share with you how I chose to tackle the biggest
challenge I’ve ever faced in my life: parenting.
So here goes.
“Efren, sa panget mong iyan, kung hindi ka mag-aaral,
ang mapapangasawa mo, panget din. Ang magiging anak ninyo
ASWANG!”
Your lolo, my father, considers that to be the greatest lesson/
threat your great grandpa (my lolo) ever gave him. Your lolo wasn’t
an exceptional student, but he was someone you would call
“marunong.” He was both book and street smart, but around his
senior year in high school, he was letting his affinity with the streets
take hold of him. He was spending more time at the pool table than
the classroom, hence that threat.
With that in mind, your grandpa devoted more time for
school, went to college, graduated from a state university, passed
the board exam of his chosen profession, got married to an equally-
educated woman, got a job, and had three non-monster kids, whom
he could afford to buy a house for and send to reputable schools.

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And, although he might never say it, he was able to achieve all that
because of your lelong.
That’s what it takes to be a parent. You have to have the guts
to tell your kid if he’s fucking up. Sure, you’ll rain out praises here
and there, but you’ll have to be mean sometimes. Especially if you
don’t want your kid to be the neighborhood’s tambay, or worse,
someone’s bitch at the city jail.
Some people would call what your lelong said cruel. But in
his defense, he was never given a chance to be a tender, loving dad.
Being cruelly honest was the kind of parenting he experienced from
his own dad.
Your great-great-grandfather was a machinist and caretaker at
a hacienda in Nueva Ecija. He was only able to finish high school
but was brave enough to start a family—he and your great-great-
grandmother had seven kids.
Actually, bravery was his best trait. During World War II,
he joined the local guerilla forces fighting against the Japanese. He
rose through the ranks, becoming a captain and joining the United
States Army Forces in the Far East. He was known to make tough
decisions, often doing so to strike a point. For instance, upon
learning that one of his cousins provided information to the
Japanese—the proper term for such spies/traitors was “makapili”—
he ordered his cousin’s beheading.
A few years after he left his family to fight, his oldest son,
your lelong, who was then only 13 years old, followed him to the
mountains. And so the latter part of your lelong’s so-called formative
years were spent hiding from enemies, stalking enemies, getting
shot at, and the occasional killing. Perhaps only those who grew up
in totally bad-ass places—like the ghettos in Hollywood movies—

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would understand how disturbing this could be for a young mind.
Your lelong’s father, however, refused to make war easier for his kid.
Instead of requesting for his son to be assigned to his command, he
allowed his son to be stationed two provinces away from him. The
message was clear, “Magpakalalake ka.”
The lessons didn’t stop there. A couple of years after the war
ended, your lelong was charged with rape by the family of his then
girlfriend, with whom he eloped. Although his father was by then
employed as a bodyguard/aide-de-camp of President Manuel Roxas,
he chose not to use whatever clout he had to protect his son.
“Hinayaan niya ako makulong para raw magtanda ako,” recalled
your lelong to me once.
After getting out of jail, your lelong briefly went to college, got
married, had four kids, and chose the profession closest to what he
grew up knowing. He became a policeman.

The typical Pinoy grandfather is hip, wise, generous, and will


condone anything an apo does.
In short, they’re cool.
When I hit puberty and began exploring other forms of
entertainment, lolo and I had routine “viewing” sessions. He was
staying at our place at the time. Coming home from school one day,
I heard a loud moan from my room’s window. When I got to my
room, I saw my lolo watching one of my videos. “Hindi mo sinabing
may bago ka pala,” he said after I barged in.
On women, he had this to say: “Bago mo galawin, siguraduhin
mo munang may pruweba ka na magkasintahan kayo.” When I
scoffed at him, he reminded me of the tattoo on his back, which

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he got when he was imprisoned: a topless woman, below her is the
phrase, “Taksil ka, Nene.”
And whenever my parents didn’t give me extra baon because
they knew I was going to spend it on dates, my lolo, who was always
aware of whatever my parents and I argued about, was always there
to help.
In contrast, fathers, especially for teenagers, are just downright
pains in the ass.
Although my dad tried to be cool about certain things (after
my mother discovered my stash of porn, he told me, “Huwag ka
kasing nag-uuwi ng ganoon sa bahay. Ako nga, nasa opisina lang.”
And after my mom discovered my stash of condoms, he advised,
“Tama ’yon, mag-condom ka para ’di ka makabuntis nang maaga.”),
there were certain aspects about life that he never, ever was
calm about:
• Whenever my grades dipped, my father showed his
disappointment by always saying, “E kung ’wag ka na lang
kaya mag-aral.” I always thought about that whenever I took
an exam.
• When I didn’t bother telling anyone that I was spending the
night at a friend’s house, he welcomed me the next day with a
right straight to my chest. From then on, I made it a point to
ask permission.
• When he learned that I took the family car the night before
and drove around our village, he got so mad that he wept.
Later that day, my mom told me that he was afraid that I
might get into an accident and be sent to jail because I didn’t
have a driver’s license. The very next day, he drove me to the
nearest LTO office.

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• And when I got your mom pregnant right after finishing
college and told them of my intentions of getting married,
your lolo said, “Bakit, kaya mo na ba?” Almost a decade later,
I’m still trying to prove to him that I can provide for my
own family.

I was a nervous wreck an hour before all of you were born. I


always planned everything I was going to teach you: how to dribble
and shoot a basketball; how to swim; how to choose the music
you’ll listen to—rock ‘n’ roll, hip-hop, RnB, and maybe some love
songs but never those by David Pomeranz; how to choose the films
you’ll worship and hopefully learn something from (The Godfather,
Pulp Fiction, and anything starring TVJ); how to pick your lifelong
friends; and, most importantly, how to tell if the person you’re
falling for is a maputi-lang-kaya-may-hitsura type or the type
who’ll still catch your attention when she’s old and wrinkled.
I wanted you all to be funny, smart, and athletic. I wanted you
to be someone who everyone knew and liked.
And then it hit me: Does that shit really matter?
Actually, it might. But you wouldn’t really know until the right
time comes.
That’s vague, I know. But I do know that when Kuya and
Bunso weren’t walking at 10 months old, I wasn’t worrying about
your future choice of music. That when none of you couldn’t
identify the color red from the color blue at one year old, I couldn’t
care less if you all watch rom-coms all your life. And although you
all seemed to have a fondness for sports at three years old, I was
more worried about your inability to speak clearly.

9
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I’m also worried that I’m starting to become my father. But
when you think about it, everyone’s a version of their father, who’s
a slight version of his father and so on. It’s up to us if we become a
complete remake of the man or an “inspired by” version.
In their own ways, my father, my grandfather, and my great-
grandfather were all worriers. And I’m taking a somewhat similar
path as them: We let our children choose who they will become (in
my case, it’s are you a Nickelodeon or a Playhouse Disney kid?).
And once they’ve made their choices we’ll have to endure seeing
them suffer if it turns out to be a mistake and hope that they’ll learn
from it. (After I taught Kuya how to use utensils, he insisted on
eating the next meal on his own. And despite my warnings to “blow
at it first,” he put a mouthful of newly cooked soup to his mouth.
It burned his tongue. For the next six months, before every meal,
he would ask, “Mainit?”) It will be painful. Maybe even expensive
(read: medicine, therapy sessions, bail money). But as long as you
believe that you gave them the guidance they needed, you just have
to hope that everything will work out for the best.

If I’m no longer around to make you feel all these, I sincerely


hope that you’ve faced enough challenges in your life to mold you
into a BETTER version of me.
Worry. Love. Work hard. Then believe that everything will
turn out okay. The same way I believe that I have it
in me to make sure that you will never have to
read this letter in your life.

Dad

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Recipe for Success

Chefs Rolando and Jacqueline Laudico are


Filipino food advocates and executive chefs at
Chef Laudico Restaurants and Catering. They
enjoy life’s journey with their fantastic kids,
Orlando and Keona.

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Dear Orlando and Keona,
Let us share with you this one-of-a-kind recipe:

LAUDICO RECIPE FOR SUCCESS


Ingredients:
12 cups of Talent                                      
1 pinch of Uniqueness
10 gallons of Confidence
1 lifetime of Craftsmanship 
7 cups of Energy
A stream of Sacrifice
21 grams of Soul

Directions:
1. Uncover talent.
Starting at a young age, do what you love doing, whatever
it is that makes you happy. You will discover that those things are
actually talents that you can develop. Top the talent with passion
and perseverance, and you will eventually be very good and very
skilled that it would be like second nature. We were lucky that we
discovered the joy of cooking and baking at an early age, so we just
kept doing them and somehow never got tired of them. We still
have fun cooking and baking to this day.
2. Add uniqueness.
Always be yourself. Don’t be afraid to be unique and different.
Sometimes it’s hard to fit in and be accepted by your friends and
classmates, so you try so hard to be part of a group and just belong.
True friends will accept you for who you are; great friends would

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even admire you. Don’t just blend in—stand out from the crowd.
Be comfortable in your own skin. Which brings us to the
next step... 
3. Build confidence.
Self-confidence is one of the most important ingredients for
success. Without it, you will be afraid to tackle challenges, try new
things, or handle problems that arise in your life. Confidence gives
us the strength to learn from our mistakes and not look at them
as failures. Have the heart to rise above life’s challenges. Before we
became chefs, we probably failed a hundred times at cooking. But
instead of giving up, we chose to believe in ourselves. 
4. Hone craft.
Never stop learning your craft. Craftsmanship is all about
improving your work and striving for excellence. Learning is a
never-ending process, so always have an open mind and be ready
to pick up new ideas. There is always room for improvement, and if
you’re humble enough not to think you know everything, then you
will see and learn everything!  
5. Replenish energy.
Always take care of yourself and your body. Without your
health, you would not have the energy to reach your full potential.
Energy is the driving force for everything, even in cooking. It’s
impossible to bake without energy, and life would not be possible
without it. But being full of energy can also be bad if it is mostly
negative. So always share your positive energy to the world so
everyone can feed off of it and it can make a lot of people happy. 
6. Learn sacrifice.
It requires a lot of sacrifice to reach your goal in life and to
succeed. Nothing comes easy and you need to work hard for it.

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Going to school and studying take a lot of sacrifice, but without
education and hard work, it is impossible to become the person
you dream of becoming. As parents, we sacrificed a great deal to
be where we are right now. We continue to work hard so we can
provide only the best for you.
7. Maintain essence of soul.
Lastly, never compromise yourself—not for money, fame, or
anything else. There will come a time when you will have a choice
to become someone you are not because it’s the easy way out. Don’t
do it because you will just end up being unhappy and eventually
lose your soul. Without happiness in your soul, life will be sad, and
all the money or fame in the world can never fix it. 
Just follow this simple recipe, share generously, and hopefully
you will cook up something fantastic in your life. But whatever it is
you end up cooking, we will always be here for you.

Love,
Papa and Mama

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Creating a World
for Women

Merlee Cruz-Jayme is the first Filipino to be awarded


The Creative of the Year for Southeast Asia in the Campaign Asia
Pacific Agency of the Year. Working as a creative for 25 years, she
has also been recognized with The Hall of Fame Award from the
Creative Guild of the Philippines and the New York Festivals Creative
Achievement Award. She is Dentsu Jayme Syfu’s “Chairmom” and
Chief Creative Officer, and the only woman in the 20 top creative
directors in Asia as reported by Campaign Brief Asia this year. 

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Dear Isabella, Inez, Sofia, and Sabine,
“I wish you were a teacher in our school. Then you’d be with
us every day.” This is something you’d tell me when I would come
home late for two to three consecutive days. In fact, a week can go
by when we don’t see each other—you’ve all left for school by the
time I wake up, and you’re all fast asleep by the time I come home.
One time, I remember coming home at 3 AM after working
on a pitch. Feeling guilty for not spending time with you girls, I
forced myself to wake up early just to drive you to school. With a
few hours of sleep, I wasn’t very alert and had slow reaction time.
When I drove back home, a man suddenly entered the car right in
front of our gate, and pointed a gun at me point-blank. Thank God
I was calm and collected enough to hold his gun away and to slowly
leave my car. This made me think that there must be a better way to
“balance” my work and family life.
At this time, I was struggling as a copywriter. I was hell-bent
on succeeding at home and at work, but this was also the time I felt
the most guilt. In fact, the quote “success does not compensate for
failure in the home” was and still is my biggest reminder every day.
Since Dad was traveling most of the time, my support family
helped immensely. I was so thankful we were living with Lola and
Lolo then. Somehow, they “covered” for me and took care of all of
you. Then, I asked myself, “Is it impossible for me—a woman, a
mother—to really succeed in my creative field?” Is it possible for me
to be creative enough to come up with brilliant ideas 24/7, take care
of four daughters, and survive this manly industry?
It took 25 years of unbelievable energy, courage, passion,
and determination to wake up early to attend parent-teacher

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conferences before work, finish pitch materials until the wee hours
of the morning even when I was eight months pregnant, think
of new lyrics for a jingle while singing you lullabies, write scripts
in the dark while you were asleep in the crib, run to your ballet
recitals in between client presentations, write never-ending palanca
letters, create campaigns for five different brands in a week, make
reviewers for your exams, defend my ideas with the right “reasons to
believe,” talk to your teachers when you’re failing in Math, draw my
storyboard for the next day’s presentation, talk to you about boys,
and later on, start my very own agency.
Girls, it is possible. Do not let anything or anyone persuade
you that it “can’t be done.”
Through the years, I’ve discovered that there are two big
barriers that keep girls from succeeding. The first is thinking you’re
“not good enough.” Dad and I helped nurture your talents as you
were growing up. Each of you has your personality and creative
instinct. You just have to believe in yourself, take time to develop
your talent, find a great mentor, and patiently work hard to achieve
your dream.
The second barrier is gender inequality. In my 25 years in this
industry, I’m still trying to find ways to make women succeed in
this masculine-friendly world. I’ve had my share of sleazy comments
and harassment. I’ve had experiences when men were chosen for
a promotion or given nice, big budgeted projects instead of me.
To fight back, I never chose the path of self-pity or acted like the
victim. I simply changed my view on gender equality.
People think gender equality will help women fulfill all
their goals. I think the biggest factor for us to reach our goals is
“opportunity equality.” We have to keep on breaking that “glass

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ceiling” to prove to the world that we are just as good or even
better. Give us equal opportunity and we will teach differently, but
brilliantly. We will solve problems differently, but efficiently. We will
fight differently, but bravely. We will lead differently, but greatly.
To be able to achieve your utmost creativity, enrich your mind
every day and expose yourself to all kinds of interesting stuff. Don’t
accept everything as it happens. Question it. Be curious. Be restless.
Lastly, success in this world is not all about fame and money.
It is about having a purpose and contributing something good
to others. That is why I’m always restless—because I’m afraid to
be useless. As you know, I’m a member of a feminist group that
protects women and children against violence and abuse. My sisters in
GABRIELA mean so much to me. Helping them gives me a higher
purpose in life, which is to create a safer and better world for all of
you. I hope that one day, you’ll also find a cause that’s close to your
heart. It’ll really make you feel fulfilled and a better person.
I’ve also put up my agency to create a workplace that respects
women and encourages them to succeed as creatives, and more
importantly, as mothers. All these pave the way for your future.
This year, I turned 50. Your dad and I are also celebrating our
25th wedding anniversary. I have to give it to your dad—it’s never
easy being married to a creative, you know. By now, I’ve achieved
half of my bucket list. Thank you for making it all memorable
for me!

Love,
Mommy

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Lessons Gained from
Marathon Running

Jaymie Crisostomo-Pizarro is better known as The


Bull Runner. She is the founder of the award-winning blog
www.thebullrunner.com, and The Bull Runner Dream Marathon—
the first and only marathon in the world designed for first-time
marathoners. Jaymie is the first Filipino to finish the World
Marathon Majors and has run 15 marathons to date.

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Dear Anton and Nia,
As I write this, the three of us are 35,000 feet in the air on
our way to Vancouver for my 15th marathon. There’s nothing that
makes me happier than having both of you close to me when I run.
You’re the first ones I want to hug after a grueling marathon. You’re
the ones I want to celebrate with over a huge bowl of pasta (or two!)
as I eat to my heart’s content to make up for the thousands of burnt
calories. But, beyond that, I love having you both with me so that
you see with your own eyes the magic of the marathon.
I want you to witness how the marathon, 42 kilometers
of simply putting one foot in front of the other, can transform
people—from sick to healthy, insecure to confident, weak to brave,
pessimist to believer, and doubter to dreamer. More than that, I
must confess, I secretly wish that, when the time comes, you will
want to conquer the marathon for yourselves.
You see, kiddos, the marathon isn’t so much about running
as it is about life. The shiny new medal you earn after crossing
the finish line won’t even compare to the life lessons you learn
when you undergo months of training for this single event. The
marathon develops grit, builds character, and makes you believe
that absolutely nothing is impossible if you work hard. Survive a
marathon and you can face anything life throws at you.
Whether you decide to sign up for your own marathon when
you’re old enough or not, let me share the lessons I learned on my
own journey that you can use in your lives:
Commit to a Scary Goal
After I signed up for my first marathon, I asked myself, “Oh
no, what did I get myself into?!” The night before the marathon

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was even worse. I was tossing and turning in bed with butterflies in
my tummy, still asking myself the same question! But because I had
trained for the marathon and I stayed positive throughout the race,
I conquered my fears and finished. It’s the same with any other goal
you set in life. It’s these scary goals that make you doubt yourself
that will allow for the most growth and success. When setting goals,
ask yourself these questions: Does it challenge me enough to scare
me? Will this goal push me beyond my limits and motivate me to
work hard? Will I end up becoming a better person for it? If the
answers are a resounding yes, then go for it! Everyone gets scared;
it’s what you do with that fear that makes you a winner.
Embrace the Suck
Marathon training isn’t easy. There will be days when you
wish you didn’t have to run or you would rather stay up late and
party with friends rather than sleep early for an early morning run.
Sometimes, during a long run, you will feel exhausted, hot, tired,
and you’ll think: “This sucks!” When that happens, just accept the
hardships as part of your journey and push even harder. In life,
it’s not always going to look like a perfect Instagram feed where
everyone is all smiles. There will be days of sacrifice, hard work,
and pain. During the tough times, embrace the difficulties and
work your way through them with your goal in mind.
Push the Wall
The greatest fear of a marathoner is to “hit the wall.” This
“wall” is usually at around 32K right at the last 10K of the race.
This is when your body feels like it’s given up on you and you
don’t think you can take another step. It is at this point where I
believe that the marathon becomes a test of your spirit more than
your body. Always remember that your mind is stronger than your

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body. If you have the determination to push or even break that wall
toward the finish line, then you will get there. As you grow older,
you will be faced with walls, roadblocks, or speed bumps along
the way. Find the strength within you to overcome these obstacles.
If you have the passion and heart to accomplish your goals, then
absolutely nothing can stand in your way.
Be a Winner
In a marathon with over 40,000 participants from all over
the world (some of whom are Kenyans who run twice as fast as we
do!), it is only the top three winners who get trophies. But, guess
what? All 39,997 marathoners get medals! We are all winners for
committing to a scary goal, embracing the pain, and breaking
our own records. In fact, we are all winners for showing up at
the race instead of staying in bed! In running, you are your own
competition. You try to run faster than you did yesterday, you battle
your own laziness and weaknesses, and you break your own records
on race day. What I hope for you both is this: For you to grow up
to dream big, do good, and live a life with integrity on your own
terms and at your own pace. Have a winning attitude and a positive
mind-set at all times, especially when the going gets tough. Enjoy
the journey of becoming who you are and what you’ll become as
you work toward your goals. And, lastly, if somewhere along the
way, you get the urge to run a marathon, go for it. I’ll be there to
hug you at the finish line or, perhaps, if I’m still strong enough,
I’ll be running by your side.
Love you both always.

Gotta run,
Mama

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he Importance
of Family ime

Lance Gokongwei is the president and chief


operating officer of JG Summit Holdings.
He is the only son of John Gokongwei, Jr.,
one of the pillars of Philippine business.  

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Dear Hannah and Jacob,
I wanted to write you to tell you a bit about our family history,
where we came from. About your angkong, your ama, and your
angkong’s mother Juanita, who you never met. She was the strong
matriarch of our family who, while I was growing up, lived with us
in this same house we live in now. She died when I was 24.
Juanita always believed in the importance of family. Her
husband died when she was very young. Her eldest son, John, your
angkong, was only 13 years old and he had to work very hard to
support his mother, four brothers, and one sister. To this day, over
75 years later, your angkong remains very close to his brothers and
sister and their children and grandchildren—your aunties, uncles,
and cousins.
Growing up, Juanita made sure that no matter how hard they
worked during the day, her children would have dinner together at
night. That’s what my father (your angkong) wanted for us while we
were growing up, too.
Your angkong worked very hard six days a week, many hours a
day. But he always made sure that when we sat down for dinner at
7:30 PM after a long school day, he was there to join us after a long
workday as well. Some days he had to leave after dinner to go back
to the office or to go to another meeting, but at dinnertime, he was
there with us. Your angkong’s presence made me realize that despite
the pressures from his growing business, our family was always
important to him. He always made time for his family.
The best lessons I learned from my parents were from being
with them and observing and listening to them at the dinner table.
I learned about the importance of family. I learned about the

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importance of working hard. I learned about running a business
from the stories my father told all of us. So many adventures! We
shared in his successes and his failures. There were many of both.
Fortunately, more the first than the second.
Now that all of his children—your aunties and I—are married
with children of our own, Angkong and Ama make sure we are all
together for lunch every Sunday. That’s when we share stories with
each other about what is happening in our lives. That’s when we get
helpful tips or give advice to each other.
We also get together regularly to honor our Chinese heritage.
Our extended family, including Angkong’s brothers and their
families, all get together to celebrate the Lunar New Year and the
Mid-Autumn Festival. We play a traditional dice game where we
play for mooncakes in different sizes and flavors.
Your great-grandparents came from China. A few years ago,
your angkong took me and my male cousins to see where we had all
come from. We saw how our family had very humble beginnings,
starting from a tiny house in a small town in Xiamen. Seeing where
our family started made us appreciate what we have and where we
came from. It made us grateful, without any feeling of entitlement.
That’s why I want you to learn Chinese, to be in touch with our
roots and our heritage. I want you to learn the value of being
thankful and grateful.
Our family has always been a simple one. We’ve always worked
very hard and we continue to do so. Your angkong experienced
many years of hardship and learned how to be frugal. He was
known to be a bad dresser. He never spent a lot of money on
clothes, shoes, watches, cars, or other flashy things. He never
flew business class while he could still fit in economy class seats.

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He never believed any of those frills were important. What he
did spend money on was books. When we were growing up, he
would take us to the bookstore and let us buy as many books as
we wanted. Books opened our minds and made us curious about
the world we lived in. They made us open to new ideas, excited to
try new things. That is why your mom and I let you buy all the
books you want, too. We want you to expand your minds the way
your angkong and ama had us expand ours. Your grandparents
also spent money to give us experiences. They took us to different
cities around the world to see the sights, watch different shows,
and explore many museums. That’s why we also try to give you
experiences, like deep-sea fishing on a small boat in Hawaii (even if
the choppy waters made your mom and me seasick) or swimming
with the whale sharks in Oslob (even if we had to go over many
bumpy roads to get there). We want you to explore the world.
Your ama never coddled or spoiled us. She was never ever
overprotective of us. She let us play in the mud and in the rain.
She allowed us to live life and didn’t worry about us too much.
Till now, she loves to laugh and always sees the brighter side of
things. She always tells us, “Be yourselves. Don’t compare yourself
to others. Because someone will always be smarter than you.
Someone will always be better-looking or richer. So just go
out there and be yourselves.”
So that’s what I want you to do, too. Have fun. Enjoy your
childhood. Do what you want to do, not what others want you to
do or what others consider to be cool. Choose your own path that
will lead you through school and through the rest of your adult
life. When you find joy in your chosen field, then working hard
to be the best you can be at it will come naturally. You will excel.

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On the flip side, sometimes there will also be things you really
don’t enjoy doing, but you will need to do because they’re the right
things to do. During those times, you just have to keep steady and
suck it up. You do what you have to do. Because that’s what life’s
all about. It’s not all about you. It’s not all about what makes you
happy. It’s about doing what is right.
I’m very proud that you have very good grades, but more
important than that, I want you to earn other people’s respect. I
want you to be considerate. I want you to be kind. I want you to
be known more for your good character than for anything else.
I want you to learn how to share. I want you to learn how to
give back. Your angkong earned a lot of money through the years,
and he shared his abundance with other people. He was only 30
years old when he made his first large donation to the Sacred Heart
School in Cebu. Later on, your angkong put up the Gokongwei
Brothers Foundation, and has built schools in Ateneo and La
Salle here in Manila. The foundation awards many scholarships
to deserving students all over the Philippines who want to build
brighter futures for themselves. He wants other people to be given
the opportunity to learn about the world the way he did.
Your angkong has always been different from other people.
He has marched to the beat of his own drum all his life. That’s what
I want for you, too. Don’t be afraid to take risks. Live out your
dreams. Be adventurous. Do your own thing. Do what you want
to do. Be who you want to be. Do it.

Love,
Dad

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Making the
Right Choices

Elizabeth Eder Zobel de Ayala is a socio-civic entrepreneur in the Philippines.


Lizzie is a co-founder and chairman of Teach for the Philippines, an
organization that works to provide Filipino children with inclusive, relevant,
and excellent education. She is a member of the Board of Trustees of the
Center for Asian Philanthropy and Society, board member of the Population
Council, and a founding member of both Friendly Care Foundation and
Forum for Family Planning and Development. For nine years, she served as
a presidential appointed Board Member of the Philippine National Museum.
Lizzie is married to Jaime Augusto Zobel de Ayala, chairman and
CEO of Ayala Corporation, and mother to four children.

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Dear Mariana, Jaime Alfonso, Eugenia,
and Mercedes,
In a life that is filled with beautiful possibilities, I know that
you will agree with me that the choices you make shape the journey
and, eventually, the people you will become. Listen to your heart
and make these choices carefully for they must be deeply personal
and driven by your own aspirations, not those of others. Know that
the paths you choose will require perseverance and discipline but,
above all, they will require a sense of responsibility—to yourself and
toward others.
Be responsible, to yourself. Sign up for life. Seek to find your
passion and pursue it without restraint. You will need to be brave—
take on as many experiences as possible and immerse yourself in
those that you find meaningful. Finding meaning in the work you
do will cue you where your passions lie. But know that, although
you will feel enormous happiness when the results of your work
are positive, inevitably some of the tasks involved in getting the job
done will be at times tedious and uninteresting. Remember always
that happiness in life is not spread along one single continuum.
Fortunately, there are moments of extraordinary happiness and
you should not confuse the tediousness of some of these tasks with
unhappiness. They will simply serve to get the job done.
Be responsible, toward others. Remain cognizant that as much
as our choices affect us, they will most definitely affect others. We
form a part of an extraordinary community that strives to provide
us with a sense of possibility. Remember that these possibilities
have been constructed by those who courageously responded

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to the challenges with a vision for the future. And, if you take the
time to listen and watch those around you carefully, many of the
most important lessons have already been learned, and some of the
more painful ones may be avoided by those who remain attentive.
Ultimately, you must treasure what has been achieved and do your part
to contribute toward a fairer and more just Philippines.
Always persevere. Although the contradictions and challenges
may seem overwhelming, there are solutions and they become
more apparent when we realize that it’s the work of many that will
build a nation that provides opportunities and where possibilities
are real. There is no single answer to the issues we face, but the
coming together of efforts that restore hope. Your efforts—sincere
and honest—will bear fruit, so do not give up easily on the
challenges you face.
My thoughts are abundant with admiration and love for the
wonderful human beings that you are. I cannot end this brief letter
without saying that I feel that “I am preaching to the choir.” I have
learned more from your grit, perseverance, and compassion than I
could have ever hoped for. You make me very proud. But, if these
words serve as a reminder of how significant it is to find meaning in
the work that you do and that true meaning will ultimately come
from serving your larger community, my heart is with you. Remain
brave and always true, but mostly deeply compassionate.

May the sun shine on your paths,


Mom

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On Work-Life Balance

Dr. Vicki Belo founded the Belo Medical Group


26 years ago. Today, it is the number one aesthetic ambulatory
clinic in the Philippines. She is also the loving mother of
Quark, Cristalle, and Scarlet Snow.

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o my dearest Grundy,
I don’t need to tell you how proud I am of you and everything
you have accomplished in your life so far. You aren’t just successful
in your own right, but you are the sweetest and most caring person
I know. But, my darling, there is still so much more ahead of you,
so much more happiness in store for you. You have been by my side
throughout everything—through the ups and downs, through the
fun times and the difficult ones, but what I also appreciate is being
able to work with you every day. Not all moms can say that they
have a daughter who works harmoniously with them—making her
own name for herself while she’s at it.
You work so hard, just like someone I know. Sometimes
you work too hard. When you’re caught up in a task, you sleep, eat,
and breathe it. This is why whatever you touch becomes a success,
because of all the work and heart you put into it. I just worry that
when you get too exhausted, your passion can fizzle out. I can see
you working on projects that take up less than a year; don’t let them
drag out for too long. Let the flame burn bright and burn strong.
Then take a break. Breathe. Relax. You need it.
The next step in your life is one of the biggest moves you
are going to make. I have been ready for you to get married since
Christmas of last year, but I don’t really need to spell it out, my
darling, how much I am going to miss you. I will miss when you’d
come home and the first thing you’d do is look for Scarlet so you
two can play together. I will miss you always being by my side, I
will miss my Grundy. But yes, I knew this was going to happen one
day and that I would have to cut the apron strings. And yes, I am
ready, but that doesn’t mean letting go will be easy.

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One thing I want you to remember now that you are starting
your own family is that your family should always come first. Of
course, you already do this—you are such a great ate to Scarlet and
such a loving sister to Kuya, but when it’s your own family, the
priority changes. You can’t lose yourself in work when you have a
husband and children who need you. You need to put them first.
You are the best daughter any mom could ask for and the best
role model for Scarlet. Because of this, I know you will also be the
best mom to my future grandchildren. I can’t wait to meet them,
Darling. Even if I will miss you so very much.
I love you to the moon and back.

Mommy

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Saving for a
Rainy Day

Rose Fres Fausto was an investment banker turned full-time


homemaker and now a writer and speaker. She wrote the best sellers
Raising Pinoy Boys and The Retelling of The Richest Man in
Babylon (English and Filipino versions) and has a weekly column in
PhilStar.com entitled Raising Children with High FQ. She’s also a
Behavioral Economist and Gallup Certified Strengths Coach.

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o my dearest Martin, Enrique, and Anton,
I am so pleased that you have all grown up confident,
optimistic, kind, and of course, with high Financial Quotient (or
FQ for short!). You are indeed God’s greatest gifts to me and Papa
and our greatest gifts to the world.
We have come a long way since you were born, and I look
back with fondness at how we raised you boys through some not-
so-conventional ways. I now realize that way before I discovered
Behavioral Economics, I was already practicing its principles on
you without the label.
1. Once you were born, we opened savings accounts. This
was where we deposited your ang paos and other cash gifts. The
process made it easier for us to avoid the commingling of funds.
2. And because you were in no position to need those cash gifts
yet, we invested them for you, both in fixed income and stocks.
When you started asking about money, we already had something
to show you under your name. You understood that your money
should not be kept in your savings accounts (which you called small
accounts) because the interest earnings were too small. You were
thrilled to see how your big accounts (fixed income investments)
gave you earnings as much as double in five years! (Gee! I miss
those times.) You were always excited to open your mail to see your
cash dividendsi from easy-to-understand stocks like Jollibee, SM,
Meralco, and the like.
3. When you entered Grade 1, we used your weekly
allowance as your training ground for regular saving and
budgeting. Do you still have those treasure boxes where you
kept your P100 per week allowance? I remember how you set

i
Payments made by companies to investors resulting from earnings.

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aside at least P20 in an envelope every Sunday night, right after
you received your allowance. Little did we know that you were
practicing the principle “pay yourself first.”
Enrique, I still remember how your eyes lit up when you first
saw my simple Excel file showing the power of compoundingii. It
blew you away how your 20% regular saving and investing could
make you a millionaire in no time!
4. Remember those times when we would go to toy stores and
you would ask us to buy you unreasonably expensive toys? Papa and
I never said, “We don’t have money for that!” Even if that would
have made life easier for us, we thought it would be a disservice
if we used that lazy reasoning. We didn’t want you to grow up
thinking that your having or not having the money is the factor
that decides in buying stuff. We wanted you to exercise control
over money instead of the other way around. It wasn’t easy, but we
did pretty well.
5. We knew it wasn’t going to be easy for you to exercise this
control over money all the time. (Heck, even Papa and Mama find
it hard sometimes!) That’s why your nerdy mom taught you how
to make your own balance sheet. Nothing intimidating—just a
simple listing of your cash and investments. It helped you delay
gratification because you could see how your total assets grew. I
remember hearing you say, “I can buy many pieces of that toy, but
I’d rather buy stocks. I’ll wait for my birthday so I can have that toy
without spending my own money!” Little did we know that you
were learning firsthand what opportunity cost is all about. You were
able to delay gratification because you were getting gratification
seeing your assets grow in your balance sheet! Pretty nifty tool to
teach something abstract in a more tangible way, huh?

ii
Investment value increase due to capital gain and interest earned over time.

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I dream that someday, all individuals will know their Total
Net Asset Valueiii (NAV) the way they know their height, weight,
and other vital signs. And just like how we don’t have to announce
these stats to the whole world, we can keep our NAV confidential;
well, unless you decide to be a public official, in which case, you
would need to report your SALNiv every year.
6. Do you remember our dinner conversations about money,
and how Papa and I would get valuable insights from your young
minds? Anton, you once said, “I will put all my money in the stock
market” while you were still in grade school. When I warned you
about the volatility of the market, you said, “You and Papa always
say that in the long run, stocks will give me the highest earnings.
You see, even if my stocks go down, my lifestyle will not change. It
is when your stocks go down that my lifestyle will change, right?”
You just blurted out the concept of risk appetitev articulately!
7. And of course, it’s always a joy to reminisce your summer
jobs. Martin, your experience as crew member in a restaurant didn’t
only give you extra cash but also taught you how it was to be on the
service-providing side. Enrique, wasn’t that a great summer when
you taught someone how to play the guitar for a fee? Anton and
Enrique, your summer dance class was a hit! It was a great idea to
end it with a recital concert with the help of Kuya Martin who
sold the tickets.
8. Martin, when you graduated from college and we told you
it was already the end of receiving allowance from Papa and Mama,

iii
Total value of an entity’s assets minus its liabilities.
iv
Short for Statement of Assets, Liabilities, and Net worth, this annual document
must be completed and submitted by all government workers. It contains their
total assets and liabilities.
v
Amount and type of risk (of losing money) an organization is prepared to accept
in order to meet their strategic objectives.

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you exclaimed, “Ouch! You’re cutting my financial umbilical
cord!” Hahaha! But hey, look where you are now. You did great!
No unnecessary delay in getting a job. It also helped that your
allowance was a lot lower than the starting salaries out there. So
we’re now two down (as Enrique joined you recently as a working
boy) and one to go. Right, Anton?
I really thank you all for being such wonderful kids. I savor
each moment I spent and continue to spend with you—triumphs,
failures, heartaches, and all. Thank you so much for spending time
to help Papa and me spread this advocacy of financial freedom and
happiness, one family at a time. Now that you’re all grown up with
schedules more hectic than ours, you know it’s pure bliss for Mama
when I can contain all of you in one room.
I’m excited to see you raise your own kids to be loving and
confident, and of course, with high FQ. You don’t have to hurry,
okay? Have them at the right time. I pray that you marry women
who share the same values, including money values. Should you
end up falling in love with a gastadora (spendthrift), just go through
those eight points with her. Convince her that you can only raise
your children well when you are united in values. Employ choice
architecturevi and design something that would make it easier for
your family to practice high FQ. I’m sure your kids will be as kulit
and precocious as you were, so make it fun and easy!

I love you all so much.

♥ Mama

vi
A careful design of environments that influences the way people
make decisions.

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Of Food and Family

Berna Romulo-Puyat is a mom of two wonderful children.


She loves to eat and work for those who produce food.

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o my dearest Maia and Vito,
It has been six years since your dad passed away. I still
remember what our conversation was about and what he was
cooking a few hours before he died. While he was cooking Kielbasa
pasta, we were talking about our upcoming trip to Japan and what
food we both wanted you to try for the first time. Your dad and
I always believed that understanding the culture of a country not
only meant going on tours or visiting museums, but eating the local
cuisine as well.
Food has always been an important part of our lives. Trying
out new dishes was how we bonded while traveling. Sunday lunch
was when Dad cooked our favorite dishes.
Maia, you know how frustrated your dad was when the only
thing you wanted to eat when you were a kid was mac and cheese!
But when he found out you started to like katsudon, he read so
many cookbooks and made so many variations of it just so he could
make you a decent version of that dish. Remember how thrilled he
was when you announced (after so many tries) that he had made
the best katsudon ever? Since he passed away, we have been to so
many katsudon restaurants here and in Japan, and you still tell me
that nobody makes it like Dad.
Vito, Dad loved cooking and fattening you up. He knew
you were overweight but it gave him so much joy seeing you finish
everything he would cook for you. He was so proud when he taught
you how to make this chicken dish for a school project and when
you made it for us one Sunday lunch. I am pretty sure that he is
smiling up in heaven, seeing you cook your own meals while you
are studying abroad.

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I am glad that we have continued our tradition of
having Sunday lunches together even if it’s just me and Maia
while Vito is away for school. Though Dad is no longer with us
to cook our favorite dishes (instead we eat out or order takeout
from our favorite restaurant), it still feels like he is present. We
still pretty much do the same things. It is still our time to catch up
and tell each other stories about how our week went. It has also
become the time when I tell you both funny stories about your
dad. Even though I tell you the same stories over and over again,
you still both crack up as if you were hearing it for the very first
time. Sunday lunch has become a way for us to keep your dad’s
memory alive. But instead of being sad that he is gone, it has
become a way for us to remember the good times that we had
while he was alive.
Aside from Sunday lunches, I am happy that we still take
the time to travel and try out the local dishes of the countries we
visit. In fact, our itinerary seems to always center around the food
that we have to try. Museum tours always come second. I guess this
is how your dad would have wanted to plan our trips.
Both of you are growing up so fast. That’s why I treasure
each time I spend with you. I am so proud of what you have both
accomplished.
Maia, I love reading your articles in the newspaper and I love
seeing your posts on Instagram. It’s not a surprise to me that food
has become the main subject of majority of your articles and posts
because that’s the environment you grew up in. I love it when you
accompany me to some of my trips where you get to meet the
farmers and see the produce that they grow. I have never been so
proud as when you started the slow food youth movement and even

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started an urban gardening project in an orphanage. While I am
amazed at how hard you work, I also worry that you are losing too
much weight and that you are pushing yourself too hard. Please
take it slow.
Vito, I miss you so much. It was hard for me to allow you
to study abroad, but I know that it would have been selfish of me
to let you miss this opportunity. I also know that I have to slowly
let you go. I appreciate the fact that you never fail to call me up
on Sundays. Hearing your voice and finding out how you are is
something I look forward to every week. I am happy that you are
now conscious of what you eat (I remember back when you were
a kid, you used to tell us that brown rice was your nemesis!), but I
am also worried that you are not eating as much as you should since
you have given yourself such a small budget for food every day. You
are also pushing yourself too hard when it comes to your studies.
Maia and Vits, I know you are both responsible adults, but I
am your mom and I will always worry about you. You are both still
young and have a lot of time to accomplish all your dreams. In my
eyes, Maia is still the little girl who only ate mac and cheese while
Vito will always be that chubby little boy who ate everything.
Pretty soon, I know that you will have your own lives and may
not have the time to have Sunday lunches or travel every year with
me. But for now, I treasure each moment spent with you as we talk
about what new dishes we want to try and what food we want to eat
for Sunday lunch.

I love you both very much!


Mom

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On Making a
Marriage Work

Mother to eight, grandma to four, and widow of Philippine rap master


FrancisM, Pia Magalona is also the president of The One CORE Success
Center (www.theonecore.com), aiming to help individuals make better
life decisions through real-life education. She is also her family’s business
manager and a passionate partner-preneur at Milky & Sunny Breakfast
(@milkynsunny on Twitter and Instagram) and the FrancisM Clothing
Company, founded by her and her late husband, which creates t-shirts
with designs based on his music and lyrics. 

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You see, Kids:
Having the right marriage partner is of utmost importance
when raising a family. I had my first child at 19, and the second
after just two years. My partner then and I were both immature,
and we admittedly rushed into that union mostly because of peer
pressure. (What will people saaaaay?!) We eventually had to go our
separate ways.
Soon after, I met Francis, your Papa, and together we had six
more children. We were both 21 then. I was back in college, and he
was just starting his acting career.
We hit it off right away because I actually knew his older sister
from school. We also had the same interest in the arts, although
he was into hip-hop and I was into classical piano and ballet. We
did find common ground in rock music. His parents were both
actors, but he and his siblings weren’t really encouraged to follow
in their footsteps. Meanwhile, my mom, while taking care of
four kids, continued her job in advertising, and my dad, a civil
engineer, was in the construction business. They both had creative
jobs and hobbies (such as photography), so my siblings and I were
encouraged to be unique and creative in our own way.
Your Papa and I also raised you all to find your passion
and talent, empowering you to pursue your interests yet never
compromising on the values we instilled in you. He once said:
children are like sponges. They will absorb anything you teach
them. It was not by sheer coincidence then that I turned out to be
the disciplinarian in the family, while he provided the adventure.
I liked following rules because having a system actually made life
easier. That way, we were able to enjoy our adventures more.

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Maturity is really the key to a successful marriage. I have to
admit that together, your Papa and I had a lot of growing up to
do since you children were already around, and it was a huge risk
we took in bringing you up. The proper sequence is to have a plan
before getting married and then the kids arrive. Children are not
objects, and you need to be responsible enough to bring them up as
future adults. Marriage has the greatest chance of being successful
if the partners come from the same background and share the same
values. One reason we were able to make ours work was because we
faced our situation and got help from experts. Personally, I made a
commitment to myself that since I was in a second partnership, I
didn’t want it to fail again. We asked for help from family ministries
and marriage counselors, and all that helped in finding ways for us
to be able to work through difficult times.
Unna, when you were about to get married at 23, your now-
hubby, Bryan, asked Papa for your hand in marriage. I was not
around then because of a previous commitment, but I do remember
giving you a reminder in the early days of your marriage—that
showing respect for each other is the most basic factor toward a
successful marriage. And now, you two have four children! ♥
More recently, you followed suit, Saab, and got married in
2014, at the age of 24. This time, it was from me that your now-
hubby Jim asked for your hand, since Papa had already passed away
in 2009. I was stunned when Jim scheduled dinner for just the two
of us. I took it for granted that you were always together, but didn’t
realize that although you were both in a rock band, you were still
quite traditional. To my credit, although I was caught off-guard, I
managed to keep my bearing and drill Jim about his intentions. To
his credit, Jim passed the test, by answering in the affirmative to all.

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Among my concerns were:
• Are you sure you are both mature enough to accept that you are
two different personalities, and neither should impose the other to
change for their own benefit?
• Do you respect that Saab must continue with her work?
• Do you realize that you will both have to commit to this?
I may have also aired a few more concerns, but that’s just
between us.
In short, marriage is the union of two consenting and loving
adults, for sure, BUT it is also filled with a lot of responsibility
toward each other and to society in general. This union, ideally, is
respected and is a commitment that you enter into after weighing
your options and assessing the reality of your readiness to commit
to a partnership toward one life together. I wish I’d known that
before, had taken it seriously, and not believed marriage to be
like the fairy tales we were brought up on. Not that I blame that
wholly… It’s just a fact that that medium really had us believing in
Prince Charming!
Obviously, the most important factor is being with someone
you just really want to be around. This actually applies to both
friendships and partnerships: be with someone who has ambition,
whom you can learn from, and who will also learn something from
you. You need to grow together, not one outgrowing the other.
Otherwise, you will end up losing respect for them, and finding
fault instead. A most important trait would also be a healthy sense
of humor. Not the dark kind! You should also both seek to be
healthy—especially in this day and age when we are more educated
about what’s good and bad for our bodies. Make sure there are
endless possibilities of how you can be educated and entertained at

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the same time. It’s imperative that you each agree on spending time
apart as well. “Me time” is important, so that you look forward to
seeing each other again.
Don’t forget to have an opinion. The most boring thing would
be to agree on everything under the sun. As long as it’s just the little
things, it’s still awesome to be your own person. Lastly, it still holds
true to not let the sun set on a quarrel. There is no point in having
useless anxiety. So make sure you have a good night’s sleep because
after all, tomorrow is another day!

Pia

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From Story to Song

Gary Valenciano was born on August 6, 1964 to parents


Vic Valenciano and Grimilda Ortiz. He is is a multi-awarded
singer/performer, songwriter, musical arranger, and record producer,
winning 12 Best Male Recording Artist trophies from the Awit
Awards. A juvenile diabetic, he has been in the industry for over
33 years and has been a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador for the
Philippines since 1998. Gary is married to Angeli Pangilinan and
is blessed with three children: Paolo, Gabriel, and Kiana.

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Dearest Paolo, Gab, and Kiana,
The inspiration behind the song “When I Hear You Call” came
to me when I first entered a house called the Big Brother House. It
was for the show Pinoy Big Brother: Teen Edition 1. When I entered
the house, I was faced with the last six housemates. Each of them
carried their own back story. A song is not just created to sound
good. It’s created because of a good back story.
By the time I left the house, I was in tears because I had met
these beautiful people including superstars-in-the-making Gerald
Anderson and Kim Chiu. So I wrote this song that stems from a
father’s heart. There’s no need to go into detail, but I know you (like
yours truly) have suffered some deep pains or wounds. Perhaps from
relationships that never flourished into what they should have been.
Human fathers can never really “be there” 24 hours a day. They
may often promise that they’d be there, but that is really impossible.
However, there’s one Father who promised He would never leave
you nor forsake you—and that is your Heavenly Father. I hope this
song inspires you to have a stronger relationship with someone you
can call a father. You still can. He is waiting for you.
 
“When I Hear You Call”
When I
Look into those bright eyes
So young
Always so ready to run
Then I
See your change when fun subsides
And new colors start to arise

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There’s a hidden picture
That wasn’t seen outside

When you run, don’t tire


Keep on reaching, higher
Even when the pain and trouble bring you down, sometimes
I will see you through
I’m forever right here with you
Even when you feel you don’t need me around

I will be your friend, forever


I will be your one, big brother
Even when I see you fall
I will be your father
When I hear you call

Don’t cry
This is not the end, nor goodbye
But begin
To know I’m with you till the end
And when you pray
I will hear every word you say
And so with all my promises made
For one like you
Someone who’s especially made

When you run, don’t tire


Keep on reaching, higher
Even if the pain and trouble bring you down, sometimes

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I will see you through
I’m forever right here with you
Even if you feel you don’t need me around

I will be your friend, forever


I will be your one, big brother
Even when I see you fall
I will be your father
Yeah

I will be your friend, forever


I will be your big brother
Even when I see you fall
I will be your father
Yeah

I will be your friend, forever


I will be your big brother
Even when I see you fall
I will be your father
Be your friend, your brother
When I hear you call
Lift you when you fall
When I hear you call

I love you all,


Dad

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On aking the
Next Step

Jesse Robredo is survived by his three daughters (Aika, Tricia, Jillian)


and his wife Leni, the current vice president of the Philippines.
He served as Naga City’s mayor for 19 years before his appointment
as Secretary of Interior and Local Government in 2010.

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Subject: [Untitled]
Date: December 4, 2007, 4:55 PM

Hi Aiks,
I was trying to call. Baka nasa class ka na. There is a paid
lounge here. Matagal pa hintay so I took time out kahit na P560
ang bayad.
You have not written for quite awhile kaya ako na lang. While
we are worried that you might lose your momentum if you join
Jesuit Volunteers Philippines (or if you do not immediately work
after you graduate), do not worry. Palagay ko, you have earned the
right to decide for yourself. Okay ka naman.

Pops

Subject: Sulat pa rin


Date: April 2, 2008, 8:58 PM

Hi Aiks,
I was waiting for your letter but it never came. Hahaha!
Anyway, I got to go. Pahabol pa rin. We are very, very proud of you.
I am sure you can be much, much better than us. Konting pasensiya
at konting pagbibigay sa iba. You will surely go a long way.

Labs,
Pops

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Subject: Mga pangarap
Date: April 28, 2008, 12:54 PM

Hi Aiks,
We did not have the chance to talk. I am glad we were able
to go to University of Pennsylvania. That is the kind of exposure
that might help you work on what you want to do. Do not worry,
ipapang-utang ko naman ang pang-aral. Mag-umpisa tayo doon sa
nakuha ko sa Ramon Magsaysay award ko.
You are fortunate because you have the option to choose what
you want to do so plan it well. Excel. Work hard. Kahit hindi mo
gusto yung ginagawa mo, you are still expected to work hard and
excel. I just hope that when you work, you will be more enabling.
There is little future in production, Aiks, unless you discover
and produce the product yourself or you are the brains of the idea
like Apple and Microsoft. The safer way is marketing and finance.
As they say, the best business is money. You might not have liked it
so much when you were still in school, but anyway, that is a must-
learn in MBA.
As I have told you, you might want to look at Singapore.
In fact, you might want to look at schools where your current
employer has a nearby office or division so you can establish
contacts and work from there. While I believe you owe it to where
you came from to make a contribution, you will get there more
comfortably if you succeed in your own career first. You cannot give
what you do not have (unless you want to run for mayor. Hehehe!).

Labs,
Papa

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Subject: Pampatulog
Date: September 30, 2008, 12:02 AM

Hi Aiks,
I have around 21 months left before I end my term as mayor.
I need to find something to do. Parang ikaw but in a different and
limited way. If I can find work in Manila, palagay ko mas mabuti
siguro. Magkakasama uli tayo. Tricia will be in college by then.
I need to be able to move on from Naga and sort of put it behind
me—lahat ng bagay, problema, sama ng loob, kasiyahan, tsaka
intriga na rin. I’ve always loved Naga pero parang mahirap na
nandito right after I finish my term. Baka lumabas na ang
natural (hahaha!).
Seriously, I do not think I will be happy with that setup (kahit
temporary). I am even considering leaving the country. Of course
together with all of you. Kapag mag-aaral ka na, it would be the
best time to do so. Medyo mahirap lang maghanap ng gagawin, but
at least tahimik na buhay at tahimik na isip na rin.
Looking back, mahirap din pala na naitulak ka lang ng unos sa
ginagawa mo. In a way, you are fortunate that you are seeking what
you want to be this early. Mahirap iyong walang benefit ang talent
mo. Not so many choices, so you take what is given you. Yan ang
buhay ko. Masuwerte na rin. Overachieving (depending on who is
giving the assessment) pero parang may kulang.
I intend to write something on what would have been para
huwag mong gayahin, pero actually kumpleto na rin naman lahat.
It is 11:59 PM. Lahat tulog na. Magpapagising daw si Jillian ng
6 AM. Bye na ako. Baka mapagalitan ako kapag ’di ko siya nagising.
Do not read between the lines. I just whiled away the time

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para antukin ako. At tsaka para naman ma-feel mo na normal yung
mga problema mo.

Labs parati!
Pops

Subject: Gising na
Date: September 30, 2008, 7:38 AM

Aiks,
Office na ako. Woke Jill at 6 AM. Getting old na.
I hope you get accepted sa Chevron. Do not worry. Wala
namang nag-uumpisa na alam talaga ang gusto. Ang iba, sweldo
lang. Ang iba, significance. Ang iba, bahala na. Ako, I just took the
first opportunity that was made available. Kaya eto, matanda na.
Still looking for what is right. I look forward to the day I will be
stepping out of office. I dread it at the same time, kasi maghahanap
na ako ng gagawin. Sometimes, work allows you to keep your sanity
(of course the children always do), pero pagod na rin. No more big
mountains to conquer, only molehills that seem like mountains.
Have to go. Will be there on Thursday. Speaking at Adamson
and AIM. We can have late dinner.

Labs na labs,
Pops

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Subject: Balak sa buhay
Date: November 18, 2008, 1:28 AM

Hi Aiks,
Mama left a few hours ago for the airport. Paalis na. Tapos na
vacation namin. Thanks for coming home to babysit. I hope you
can do it more often.
Last week, Mama submitted our résumé to test if we can
qualify to move to Canada. It seems that we do. Just one of the
things I am considering for my retirement. Anyway, I am no Barat
Obaba. I am just like most na naghahanap ng tahimik na buhay.
This is not why I wrote you. I was reading an article in Fortune
magazine on the most critical element for success. First, it is not
talent. Many people who have more talent than others did not
succeed. Your father did not have much (hahaha!). Second, it is not
education. Sample niya yung dalawang regular students from
Harvard and Dartmouth who became COO of Microsoft and GE.
Ordinary students lang sila like Obama and Bush (kagaya ng tatay
mo). Ang sagot niya, it is desire and perseverance and being good
at things that you do not want to do. The article coined the term
“deliberate practice,” meaning working to be skillful at things that
are difficult and unpleasant to do. Deliberate practice on things
you do not want to do before doing what you want to do. This is
what distinguishes the ordinary from the extraordinary. Anyway,
my Christmas gift to you is a one-year subscription to Fortune
magazine. Malay natin, it might inspire you to build
your own fortune. Hahaha! Barat nga! Tulog na ako!

Labs,
Pops

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Letters to My Children
Editor in Chief Mimi Tiu
Managing Editor Macy Alcaraz
Art Director Ramona Gonzalez
Consultants Rachelle Medina, Paul Villariba
Illustrators Alysse Asilo, Sha Erandio, Tippy Go

Contributors
Cyan Abad-Jugo, Paolo Abrera, Ines Bautista-Yao, Dr. Vicki Belo,
Brian Adrian Borleo, Ani de Leon-Brown, Janice Crisostomo-Villanueva,
Jaymie Crisostomo-Pizarro, Joel Cruz, Merlee Cruz-Jayme,
Rose Fres Fausto, Joshua Formentera Jr., Tippy Go, Lance Gokongwei,
Noelle Hilario, Risa Hontiveros-Baraquel, Jacqueline Laudico,
Rolando Laudico, Patty Laurel-Filart, Feliz Lucas, Jay Jay Lucas,
Pia Magalona, Edric Mendoza, Joy Mendoza, Chary Mercado,
Camille Prats, Xandra Ramos-Padilla, Jesse Robredo, Berna Romulo-Puyat,
Lea Salonga, Pauline Suaco-Juan, Budjette Tan, Rissa Mananquil Trillo,
Gary Valenciano, Elizabeth Zobel de Ayala

Summit Books
President Lisa Gokongwei-Cheng
Publisher Edna Tancongco-Belleza
VP For Operations Hansel dela Cruz
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Production Manager Eliz Rellis
Production Coordinator Dina Jesuitas
Books Editor in Chief Marla Miniano
Books Assistant Managing
g g Editor
d Mica De Leon

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