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namo tassa bhagavato arahato sammā sambuddhassa
Homage to that Blessed One, the Worthy One, the Fully and Perfectly Awakened One
How Did I Start To Practice?
1
by Achan Naeb Mahaniranon
Excerpt from a Dhamma talk given at Wat Phra Chetuphon, Bangkok, Thailand
on April 25th, 2519 (1976 CE)
[7] Sawatdii kha—Good day respectful audience.
[23] …Now they would like me to talk about how I started to practice. I just have to say that at that time there was
no vipassanā (insight)2 practice at all [in Thailand]. The practice back then was just samādhi
(calmness/concentration meditation). People repeated [the word] “SammāArahant,” or said “Bud” when inhaling
and “dho” when exhaling. It depended on whatever people would use as a means for mental development
(bhāvanā), and whatever way in which they used it. The whole lot was samādhi. There was no vipassanā at all.
Although samādhi was practiced everywhere, people called it vipassanā. Anyone who went to sit to make himself
calm would say, “I went to practice vipassanā.”
All the places, all the centers, in Thailand offered only samādhi [training]. But people didn’t accept [24] that fact
because they didn’t understand the difference between samādhi and vipassanā. However, they did know that
vipassanā is the primary path of Buddhist practice, and that the development of wisdom is what can put an end to
suffering. No one, therefore, would ever admit he was doing samādhi. Everyone always said they were doing
vipassanā. But the truth is, there was no vipassanā at all.
I was kind of an unusually curious person: I would ask people who practiced—even the people at my house who had
also started doing vipassanā—why they kept sitting with their eyes closed. I felt, “Um? What’s the point? You close
your eyes and what do you know? Nothing. Even though they sit with their eyes open they know nothing, and on top
of that they go and close them!”
1
Achan: teacher; professor; instructor. Pali form: ācariya.
2
Vipassanā is a special type of penetrating insight that sees the three characteristics of all conditioned existence:
impermanence, unsatisfactoriness, and nonself.
1
for those who see the harm of perpetual wandering
Back then I had no idea what vipassanā was, either. I only knew that the Lord Buddha had to arise in order to
become aware of it, and that vipassanā must see3 the three characteristics (tilakkhana).4 Then I went around asking
people how they saw the three characteristics, and they said: “Well, quite so, we see impermanence!”
So I questioned them further: “And how do you see impermanence?”
They said that people, once they are born, have to age, get sick and die.
I wondered, “Is that all the Lord Buddha knew?” There’s no need to be a Buddha to know this. Even I could figure
that out. Who doesn’t know that once you’re born you have to die?! Is there anyone anywhere who doesn’t know
this? [25] But it’s just that we don’t know when we have to die, and we don’t want to [die]. In spite of knowing that
we’re going to die, still we don’t want to die. Everyone knows this, and if this is all the Lord Buddha knew, I
couldn’t see how he could have been holier than ordinary people. Even without the Lord Buddha’s teachings,
anyone can know that once we are born, we have to die. The Dhamma (Teaching) the Lord Buddha taught should
not mean merely this, otherwise nobody would praise this Dhamma as the most excellent teaching, and the most
difficult for ordinary people (puthujjana) to understand.
At that time I was only 34, but I was interested in the Lord Buddha’s teaching because at home my parents were
already fond of it. For that reason, monks and nuns often came to our house to converse about the Dhamma. I had
the feeling they were delighted when talking about Dhamma. Oh! At that time I was so amused by the things they
said, until once the nuns told me they felt pity for me: “We actually feel awfully sorry for you, Ms. Naeb.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Well, because you are going to go to hell!”
“Really? Is there any such thing?” I would make fun of whatever they said. Very bad ( pāpa). I laughed because I
didn’t believe at all the things they spoke about—what they said about vipassanā.
But I suspected that I probably had perfections (pāramī) from past lives, because I’d had an understanding come up;
namely, I had a direct experience about something concerning the [immediate] present. What is this condition we
call the “present moment” (paccuppanna5dhamma)?6
At that time, I usually kept one reclining chair on the verandah. At times I would lounge on it, and my eyes would
gaze vacantly at the trees. We all see, but I had a direct experience happen in the seeing: I could contemplate [26]
what seeing consisted of, and which defilement (kilesa, i.e., mental impurities such as greed, hatred and delusion)
occurred while seeing. How is the mind when it’s knowing this condition—that is, the seeing? Well, it seemed to be
calm and cool. There was no satisfaction or dissatisfaction at all, and no distracted mind to follow this or that arose
at all.
3
Insightwisdom (vipassanāpaññā) is an impersonal mental factor, and it is wisdom, not a self, which sees the three
characteristics. For this reason, it is expressed as, “vipassanā sees…” instead of, “one sees (through vipassanā)…” This
may sound strange because human languages are built upon the selfview. But in ultimate terms, there’s no “one” (or self)
involved in the seeing/understanding process of insightwisdom. In fact, there isn’t a self involved in anything anywhere
whatsoever, due to its nonexistence. However, the idea of a self does exist, and therefore has real implications for our
everyday experience.
4
Tilakkhana: the three characteristics of all conditioned mental and physical phenomena. The Buddha taught that all
formations are inconstant (anicca), subject to suffering (dukkha), and without self (anattā).
5
Paccuppanna: what is arising (right now); what is existing this moment; the present (as opposed to the past or future).
6
Achan Naeb still did not know the meaning of her experience, because there was no one as yet who could explain it to
her.
2
for those who see the harm of perpetual wandering
Later on, because of his reputation, some other Burmese in Talat Noi, Bangkok, invited this monk again. They
invited him because he was an expert in the Three Baskets.9 He was really an expert—it took him fifteen years to
complete his studies. It’s not that he merely graduated from studying the Baskets and that was enough. Once he’d
completed his studies, he still had to adapt the meaning or substance of everything he had learned to make the
different teachings compatible with each other. Sometimes the same thing is described one way in the Basket of
Discourses (Suttanta), another way in the Basket of Phenomenology (Abhidhamma), and another way in the Basket
of Discipline (Vinaya) [the same thing may be called by different names even though the meaning is the same]. If
the whole range of meaning of a particular teaching is not understood, one will not see how the different
descriptions are actually consistent with each other.
When one doesn’t understand the meaning or substance, how can one connect the causes with the results? We must
understand why something is given a certain name in one of the Baskets and a different name in another, in order to
realize that the meanings are not inconsistent. Even though there can be many names [for the same thing], there’s
only one real meaning, and this is what should be known.
Therefore, the monk needed two more years to complete his studies. That is how he studied. But even after he’d
completed his studies of the Three Baskets, he still wasn’t able to practice. Subsequently, he had to learn more: he
had to learn about the practice.
He used to say that in Burma there was an awful lot of “vipassanā” too—so many kinds of “isms,” theories and
beliefs about it. Mostly it was samatha—much the same as in Thailand. Moreover, this [particular] method of
vipassanā10 had just become established two years before [28] he had ordained as a monk; previously he had been a
novice. Then the Burmese invited him to come to Thailand. He accepted 11 and stayed at the deserted Mon 12 temple
[in the center of Bangkok], which is near the alley of Wat Don. You walk several kilometers through a cemetery
before reaching it. They invited the Burmese monk to stay for one rainy season retreat [Buddhist Lent]—that is, for
three months, right?
7
Paccuppannadhamma (the presentmoment condition) exists all the time, while ārammaṇapaccuppanna exists only
when paccuppannadhamma is known.
8
Monastery or temple.
9
Tipitaka: the Three Baskets or sections which make up the Buddhist Pali Canon, namely, the Suttas or Basket of
Discourses, the Vinaya or Basket of Discipline, and the Abhidhamma or Basket of Phenomenological Higher Teaching.
10
This method, which Achan Naeb learned from the monk in question, the Venerable Achan Bhaththanta Vilāsa, is the
one she eventually taught her own students.
11
In one recording, Achan Naeb says he accepted because he enjoyed taking trips.
12
An ethnic group now living in the southern part of Burma (Myanmar), originally from Kalinga, India. Large numbers
have been immigrating to Thailand from Burma for many centuries.
3
for those who see the harm of perpetual wandering
People needed an interpreter when they wanted to communicate with him, because he couldn’t speak Thai, and so
Mr. Praphan, an interpreter from the library, translated between Thai and Burmese. Mr. Praphan had built his house
there, at Wat Prok, which was a pretty small temple—nothing big. It was a twelve square rai13 monastery
surrounded for several kilometers by a Chinese cemetery.
In that period there were many Dhamma meetings going on at various places—one day here, one day there. I went
to every single meeting. I was eagerly searching for the real meaning of the present moment. At that point I could
understand only about seeing—what seeing was. About [29] hearing, I knew nothing. I didn’t know if seeing was
rūpa or nāma14—I knew nothing at all.15 I only knew that if the mind is here [present at this moment of seeing],
defilement (kilesa)—liking and disliking—would not occur. That was as much as I could observe. But I didn’t know
whether it was rūpa or nāma.
One day I met Mr. Praphan at a Dhamma meeting in the Brahman temple next to Wat Sutat. Knowing that I was
hungry for knowledge about vipassanā, he talked to me about it then, saying: “Look, there’s this Burmese monk
who came to teach vipassanā. He’s staying right here at Wat Prok. When he teaches, he says not to think, which
means, ‘Don’t be interested in the past or the future.’ He’s not interested in thinking about something. He says you
should not think or imagine that rūpanāma –the five khandhas16– are impermanent, suffering and notself. You have
to see such truths for yourself, not just think about them.”
My goodness! I became interested, and asked Mr. Praphan how seeing happened. Mr. Praphan really had no idea
about this subject, even though he was the interpreter. He told me to look for a chance to meet with the monk and
ask him myself. [30] I decided to go with him [Mr. Praphan] to see the monk that same day.
We arrived at the temple in the afternoon. Once I’d made a prostration of respect to the teachermonk, Mr. Praphan
told him I was very interested in knowing about the subject of vipassanā. The monk remained motionless, saying
nothing. I asked him, “What I want to know, Venerable Sir, is about the path to Nibbāna, the path to the eradication
of dukkha;17 on what is it based?” He answered, “It is based on sati (mindfulness).”18 He never said it was based on
the presentmoment object; he only said “sati.” I told him I knew that already. However, the sati of the Lord
Buddha’s purpose, which is the path, the path to Nibbāna—where is that sati established—on what object? He said,
“It is established on the six [sense] objects.”19
13
A measurement of land equal to 1,600 square meters.
14
Nāma means mentality or mental phenomena. It is subdivided into consciousness and mental factors. Consciousness has
the nature of knowing an object, and mental factors are such things as volition, feeling, attention, etc., which accompany
consciousness. Rūpa has the nature of not knowing anything at all. It means materiality, that is, physical or material
phenomena or events. These terms are used to differentiate it from “matter.” Because, for example, the bodily postures,
although relying on matter (the four great elements), are not in themselves matter or “concrete matter,” but “derived
materiality” (upādāyarūpa). Specifically, they are “mindproduced materiality” (cittajarūpa). Therefore they are to be
known through the minddoor, not through any of the sensedoors.
15
That is, her knowledge was derived only from experiencing the intrinsic nature of the phenomenon, the direct
experience of the object, not from concepts or mental constructs.
16
The five aggregates that comprise what we call a “being,” namely, materiality, feeling, perception, mental formations,
and consciousness. Although beings cling to these aggregates, in truth they are nonself.
17
Suffering or unsatisfactoriness. On the ordinary level this means obvious suffering such as physical pain. On the deepest
level, “dukkha” refers to the unstable, changing nature of all mental and physical phenomena, even the most pleasurable.
That’s why even pleasant feelings are unsatisfactory and not worthy of being wanted. From this perspective it can also be
defined as “oppression” or “stress” (generated by constant change). And in the ultimate sense whatever we call
“happiness” or “pleasure” is nothing else but a decrease in dukkha.
18
Sati: Mindfulness. Alertness, carefulness. Presence of mind, attentiveness to the present; the state of being turned
towards the object.
4
for those who see the harm of perpetual wandering
“Eh! So in Thailand they don’t practice vipassanā, then?”
“They do, sir. In Thailand we definitely have nothing but vipassanā. In every place there is only vipassanā—there’s
no one doing any samatha here,” I told him.
19
The six sensespheres, or āyatana. “The 12 ‘bases’ or ‘sources’ on which depend the mental processes, consist of five
physical senseorgans and consciousness, being the six personal bases; and the six objects, the socalled external bases
namely: eye, or visual organ; visible object; ear, or auditory organ; sound, or audible object; nose, or olfactory organ;
odour, or olfactive object; tongue, or gustatory organ; taste, or gustative object; body, or tactile organ; bodyimpression, or
tactile object; mindbase, or consciousness mindobject. ‘By the visual organ is meant the sensitive part of the eye built up
of the four elements ... responding to sensestimuli’ (sappaṭigha).... (Vibh. II). Similar is the explanation of the four
remaining physical senseorgans.” Buddhist Dictionary: Manual of Buddhist Terms and Doctrines, Nyanatiloka, Kandy:
Buddhist Publication Society, 1988, online edition, http://www.palikanon.com/english/wtb/dic1titel.htm.
20
Here Achan Naeb means, “Don’t cite the Pali Canon to me assuming that because it’s Pali, what you are saying must be
correct,” which would turn the Pali Canon into a dogma. The Pali Canon is, on her view, actually correct, but people’s
interpretation of what is written there is not necessarily so. Therefore, she says, “Don’t speak Pali to me. If you don’t
speak with causeandeffect consistency, then whatever language you use is irrelevant to me.”
21
Achan Naeb means that anyone, merely by knowing the Pali language, could have composed the Buddhist Pali Canon
(what she refers to as “a book”), and therefore it doesn’t necessarily represent the Buddha’s words (although for other
reasons we might say that it does, but not merely because it is written in Pali).
5
for those who see the harm of perpetual wandering
At that point the monk said: “I’m not interested in ‘cakkhuviññāṇa sees rūpa’.28 What is the function of cakkhu
viññāṇa? Its function is to see a visualobject. You don’t have to say ‘cakkhuviññāṇa’, or, ‘it sees rūpaārammaṇa’.
There’s no need to use those names. Just say ‘seeing,’ because seeing is cakkhuviññāṇa’s function, and that way
people can understand immediately. What is cakkhuviññāṇa’s real nature? Seeing. When practicing, one must be
mindful of seeing, because seeing is cakkhuviññāṇa’s intrinsic nature. When one practices, one works with the
intrinsic nature. Therefore one should use the word ‘seeing’ instead of ‘cakkhuviññāṇa.’” He taught me like this in
person for two days.
At first he [the monk] told me to observe the six [sense] objects. And in fact it has to be like that: to teach vipassanā
one has to teach about the six objects. My goodness! For the most part I found practicing with the six objects really
difficult. Just practicing the four postures is still very difficult; but the six objects are much more difficult to know,
and it takes many more days to understand them correctly. Therefore, he let me take [34] the four postures [as
objects of contemplation] first, because with the four positions one can also attain Nibbāna and became an
Arahant.29
22
In genuine vipassanā practice one only contemplates ultimate realities, i.e., nāmarūpa, hence the teacher’s surprise that
she hadn’t heard of them.
23
Dhamma: thing, condition; event; that which is a phenomenon in and of itself; a reality; all things and states, whether
conditioned or unconditioned.
24
This means, for instance, “at the time of seeing one should know seeingnāma,” and likewise for the other sense
perceptions of hearing, etc.
25
Sabhāva, the intrinsic nature of a phenomenon, is identical with the phenomenon itself.
26
Even though the act of knowing a concept is a real event, the content of a concept is not, in the ultimate sense, a real
phenomenon with its own intrinsic nature. The act of thinking, as it is happening, is a reality—it is something that is
actually going on right now, in the present moment. But the “story” or content of the thought is always a concept. The
topic of the concept—the thing the concept is about—is not actually being experienced in the present.
27
Including the names from all the world’s many languages.
28
“Cakkhuviññāṇa” means “seeingconsciousness,” and “rūpa” in this case means “colour” or “visual object.”
29
One who has purified the mind of all delusion and attained full awakening.
6
for those who see the harm of perpetual wandering
There were a lot of Arahants who got enlightened by practicing with the four postures. So he taught me only the four
postures at first. I was afraid that if I had too many objects (kammaṭṭhāna),30 I wouldn’t be able to recall all of them.
And we, Thai people, understood Abhidhamma only a little. In order to practice vipassanā one has to understand the
meaning or substance according to the intrinsic natures described in the Abhidhamma [i.e., in vipassanā practice one
must know the intrinsic natures of what is observed as opposed to only knowing names or concepts, so that these
intrinsic natures become actual objects of mindfulness].
This monk said we should have mindfulness at the time of seeing. Seeing is nāma [i.e., a mental phenomenon]. At
the time of seeing, we should experience that particular moment of seeing as nāmaseeing [as opposed to “we
ourselves” seeing]. Nāmaseeing has the specific function of seeing. Since seeing is the presentmoment condition
(paccuppannadhamma) [i.e., the thing happening in the present moment], in order to see the impermanence of
seeingconsciousness (cakkhuviññāṇa) we must have mindfulness during [the act of] seeing. Or, to see the
impermanence of hearingconsciousness (sotaviññāṇa), we must have mindfulness at the moment of hearing, in
order to know its permanence or impermanence.
Normally, an intrinsic nature must always consist of arising and passing away. “Seeingconsciousness” as a concept
does not arise or pass away (therefore, it lacks the characteristic of impermanence). When we use only the name
with no understanding of its meaning, then the intrinsic nature [of the real phenomenon] cannot be experienced. We
have to experience nāmaseeing [instead of “ourselves” seeing] in order to know that nāmaseeing is impermanent,
because seeing is the intrinsic nature of consciousness, one moment of which lasts only as long as [a single instant
of] arising (uppāda), persisting (thiti), and passing away (bhanga).
So the monk taught me that the eye sees and the ear hears. When hearing, we must know [ 35] that that particular
moment (khaṇa) of hearing is [a moment of] nāmahearing [i.e. nāma is carrying out the hearing, not us; not a self].
We should know the [actual] moment of hearing, rather than knowing according to the book(s). When practicing, we
must know at the moment when the object is actually happening. If there is no such object, then there is nothing that
can give us the truth.
Ah! I was glad after that first lesson—at that time I hadn’t yet practiced, hadn’t yet seen anything, but I understood,
because the teacher told me that the knowing is at the seeing, at the nāmaseeing moment. At that time I understood
seeing, but I was not aware that seeing is nāma. It is nāma because it knows by itself.31
At that time there was no study of Abhidhamma in Thailand at all. After paying attention in that way, I was glad. I
felt that my confidence had increased, and so I became interested in the practice. The teacher tried seriously to help
me to know the presentmoment object. I practiced for four months nonstop.
First I saw anattā;32 that is, I saw that there was only nāma and rūpa. Oh! My heart saddened. It was something like,
“this body of ours means nothing at all. It has no substance. ‘Self,’ it has none; ‘I,’ it has none; ‘me,’ it has none...
something like that. They all resemble each other.” My goodness! I had no refuge anymore. It was the end of all
dependence. In other words, [I realized] there is nothing at all in this body that can make us feel at ease or
comfortable. My heart sank. I was dismayed.
30
The word “kammaṭṭhāna” has two meanings: 1) ārammaṇa, object (of contemplation); and 2) bhāvanāvidhi, the means
for mental development. If the word “kammaṭṭhāna” appears with verbs such as, “know, contemplate, investigate [the
kammaṭṭhāna],” then the first definition is meant. If it appears in phrases such as, “ kammaṭṭhāna practice” or
“kammaṭṭhāna development,” the second definition applies. Kammaṭṭhāna means “workingground;” the “work” here is
the practice of mental development (bhāvanā). Specifically, it is the act of causing to arise instances of morality (sīla:
virtue), concentration (samādhi), and understanding (paññā) that had never arisen before; and the development of factors
of morality, concentration, and understanding that have already arisen in oneself.
31
Meaning, there’s no entity involved, no self.
32
Notself; the absence of any ‘me’ or ‘mine’; insubstantiality; the lack of any fundamental entity; impersonality; a
condition of not being amenable to control.
7
for those who see the harm of perpetual wandering
Seeing any one of the three characteristics is like seeing into all three. For example, to see notself (anattā) is to see
impermanence (anicca) and suffering (dukkha), too. It’s like in the Discourses, in the Dhammacakka, 33 when the
Lord Buddha asks his first five disciples (Pañcavaggiya) whether this rūpa [body] is permanent or [36]
impermanent—he asks this question regarding all five aggregates, from the corporeality aggregate (rūpakhandha)
to the consciousness aggregate (viññāṇakhandha).
When the five disciples answered that the body was impermanent, the Lord Buddha continued to question them
about whether it was suffering (oppressive) or happiness. They answered that it was suffering. He then asked
whether that which was impermanent and suffering should be taken as self or “I.” They said, no. So, according to
the three characteristics, when one sees impermanence one also has to see suffering. Whatever is impermanent has
to be suffering, too. And whatever is impermanent and suffering must also be notself, because one cannot control or
direct [it]; it has to be that way.
I practiced seriously there. Before I went to practice like that, I had been addicted to all kinds of things: coffee, betel
nuts,34 cigarettes. I’d take everything—snuff; well, why not, I used snuff. I had all these things available to take with
me [to the practice place]. But once I got there and started practicing, [I found] there was no one who would prohibit
me from taking them. I myself didn’t want to use snuff. I stopped craving cigarettes. That is, it was as if the
heart/mind lifted itself above defilement (kilesa), the defilement that infiltrates [the mind] to feed and sustain us. It’s
like a fish that is taken from the water; he’s totally without the water that sustains him. The water is like the
defilement.35 The heart did not see a thing that could relieve suffering. It did not see a thing it could rely on. There
was none of that. Anattā—my goodness!—does not contain anything at all.
That’s when my teacher asked whether I had lost weight. My goodness! I was thin. [37] Normally, I used to be the
fussiest person about food. If the dish was missing anything—just one ingredient!—like parsley for example, I
would not eat it. The dish had to be complete, perfect. When you are someone as fussy as this, well, you have to
cook your own food, and when I had to go to buy fish sauce—even if it was just one bottle— I had to go from store
to store trying them all out, and I would not buy anything until I had found the best one. The same with the other
condiments.
So I had to prepare many kinds of food before going to practice, just in case I wouldn’t be able to eat the food
[cooked by] others.
[During the practice] I only ate one meal a day. Actually, I had never kept this [observance of eating one meal a day]
before. The teacher asked: “Which precepts are you going to keep, the Five or the Eight Precepts?” “It’s better I
keep the Five Precepts and not the Eight—soon I’ll get hungry and that would be trouble,” I told him. But I never
had supper, although in fact I took only the Five Precepts. I experimented with not having dinner. I abstained from it
myself. I refrained from having dinner. I did not have any [food after noon]. And—hey!—there wasn’t much food.
But the heart/mind felt relieved. It didn’t have any obstructions: those issues that make us feel unhappy, those issues
that compel us to get involved and attached to things. The mind was completely devoid of all that. Here is where the
practice went very smoothly. I could pay attention to every object (ārammaṇa) that was [appearing in the] present
moment (paccuppanna). And the food that I myself prepared—I never touched it, since the mind kept itself in the
present and never thought: “I have this there, I have that there.” Absolutely never.
Talking was something that was absolutely forbidden by the teacher. No one was allowed to see [38] or visit me.
The teacher would sit in his kuti (monk’s hut), from which he had a view of the monastery entrance. As soon as any
Thai people walked in, he would quickly inform Mr. Praphan. Mr. Praphan would immediately go to my teacher’s
33
Dhammacakkappavattana Sutta: “Setting in Motion the Wheel of Truth,” the Lord Buddha’s first discourse.
34
Betel nut is an evergreen vine with wide leaves that Asians chew as a mild stimulant and digestive aid.
35
In the same way that water has always kept fish alive, the defilement in the mind ensures our survival, keeping us going
in the wheel of existence.
8
for those who see the harm of perpetual wandering
practice hut, where the visitors would declare their intention to see me, and Mr. Praphan would then lead them to my
teacher instead. The teacher would ask the visitors whether they had come on an urgent matter, and they would say,
no, they just wanted to visit me—I was quite well known at that time, too. The teacher would tell them I was fine
and all right, so a visit was unnecessary. Visits were forbidden because talking was forbidden. If they had something
important to say, they could leave a message. But they never had anything important to say.
There was one woman who came to the temple to see me, but she said clumsily—I don’t know how [it happened]—
that she had come in order to practice [and so the teacher misunderstood her reason for going to the temple]. The
teacher, therefore, took her to another hut to practice. That’s when she got mad at me and cried, “My goodness! I’m
here already but I can’t see you even for a moment? I don’t know where you are—why don’t you tell me! Oh my!
Since I’ve already come here, I at least want to meet you.”
They would put the food outside the door. I’d come out and see it there. “Eh! Whose is this?” But I knew it was for
me; that’s all I knew. [39] Regarding this issue of food—when the mind kept itself in the present moment, I still
couldn’t tell what the dishes consisted of: if they were meat or fish or pork. I didn’t know at all. If the dish they
brought me was vegetarian, I didn’t know that it had no pork or fish. I didn’t know, because the mind couldn’t reach
all the way out to there. Anything that was not immediate, it was incapable of reaching. The mind felt troublefree!
It was extremely easy!
Normally we ate by putting the food in our mouths with the fingers. 36 The teacher said that eating with a spoon [and
fork] was not convenient, because the two hands would have to be used [simultaneously]. That would cause us not
to observe skilfully, because [the objects] would get mixed up; mindfulness would not be able to follow up [all] the
objects. Thus I ate with the hands.37
When I picked up rice, meat and vegetables, I didn’t know what [kind of food] it was—I didn’t want to know
anything—not at all. When picking up the rice, meat or vegetables, I didn’t know what they were. I didn’t need to
know anything at all. When picking up the food, bringing it to the mouth, putting it in the mouth, etc., the mind had
to order [the movement] first before each single action [was carried out]. Just as the hand brings the food up to the
mouth, the mind has to give an order first—it has to order the hand to go up to the mouth. As soon as the hand
reaches the mouth, the mind has to order the mouth to open. Once [the food] is in the mouth, the mind has to order
[the jaws] to chew, then [the throat] to swallow, and so on.
Whatever orders the mind gives, it has to give in advance (before the action itself). And it is doing this while we are
totally ignorant, completely unaware of the fact [i.e., it happens automatically].
But when one observes the present moment, it is not like that. When I picked up the food, if the mind didn’t instruct
the hand to rise, the hand wouldn’t go up; it would not rise up to the mouth. When the mind instructed [the hand], it
moved. It was very obedient. And when the food was in the mouth, the mind had to order the mouth to chew, and
then [40] it chewed. Here, as soon as the mind ordered [the mouth] to chew, I would chew, and I could be mindful
of the chewing. The chewing became the present object, moment by moment, absolutely every moment. My
goodness! It was so easy.
I didn’t eat much, but I wasn’t hungry or anything. So the teacher asked me, “Ms. Naeb, have you been taking betel
nut?” I said no. “Have you been smoking?” No. “Taking snuff?” No. He wanted to know the reason [I wasn’t]:
“Why? Are you being lazy?” He meant, was I reluctant to [make the effort to] eat, smoke, etc.
“No,” I told him, “I’m not being lazy; by itself it just doesn’t want to eat.”
36
The way traditional Thai (and Indian) people used to eat, before westernization.
37
Which means using only one hand, normally the right.
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for those who see the harm of perpetual wandering
“Laziness” here means being tired of something, which is a type of aversion (dosa).
38
“Rūpakammaṭṭhāna (i.e., knowledge regarding the true nature of material phenomena) does not actually occur because
39
of thinness. It occurs because of understanding or wisdom (paññā). However, when there is wisdom, defilement
diminishes. When defilement diminishes, one eats only out of necessity; and when one eats out of necessity, one does not
want much food.
10
for those who see the harm of perpetual wandering
raising the hand or whatever—is done [for the sake of] ease, in order to relieve suffering. Please be aware of the
truth that if we don’t feel comfortable because the room is dirty, it means the mind isn’t clear. 40
So if I swept and mopped, I had to be aware that I was doing it in order to relieve suffering. It’s not that we sweep
and then as soon as things are clean we feel comfortable (happy or satisfied)—no, it cannot be that way. Whenever
we think we are going to obtain [43] happiness, it is a perversion [of view (vipallāsa)] right away. The perversion
of happiness41 has entered the mind right away. We must realize that everything we do is only done in order to
relieve suffering. We can do anything, but we must understand it according to reality. Then such understanding will
not be a supporting condition for [the arising of] defilement. We must have yonisomanasikāra (proper
consideration or skillful attention).
Skillful attention is very important for the practitioner. It means that our understanding of direct experience
corresponds with reality. In that way, wise attention becomes food [i.e., becomes a supporting condition] for
wisdom (paññā). When practicing, we should bring wise attention in line with reality [so wise attention can know in
accordance with the nāma or rūpa that is actually taking place at that moment]. Only then can wisdom arise and
enable us to know the truth. We should always have wisdom know the truth. On the other hand, unskillful attention
(improper consideration, ayonisomanasikāra) is food for defilement, and wisdom therefore cannot arise. That’s
why we should use skillful attention—so it can serve as an aiding condition for wisdom. In other words, let’s feed
wisdom to make it strong so that defilement cannot fight back. When defilement doesn’t get any food, its power
must surely weaken. Only then can wisdom destroy defilement.
Therefore, we must teach the vipassanā practitioner to have skillful attention: How are we to know the sitting
[posture]? Why should we change posture, such as when we are sitting and dukkha [ stiffness, aching, the need to
evacuate, hunger, etc.] arises?
When we sit, we are knowing sittingrūpa. We [44] must know where we know sittingrūpa, where sittingrūpa is.
For the most part, people have no understanding about kammaṭṭhāna [the object of contemplation] at all.
For example, I ask them, “Right now, are you sitting or lying down?” They say they are sitting. But when I ask
where the sitting is, they don’t answer correctly. Where is the sitting—is it in the coccyx [i.e. the buttocks], or in the
leg, or in the feet? The sitting is not in any of those places. So I have to let them know that when we sit, we have to
know sittingrūpa. Where do we know the sittingrūpa? Where is sittingrūpa? It’s like satipaṭṭhāna. I mean, suppose
we take a photograph: we can figure out from the picture whether the body is sitting, lying down, standing, or
walking. We [should] know in the same way as if taking a picture, because the posture is the mode (ākāra)42.
[Now] this rūpa is sitting—the body is sitting: the awareness goes to the sitting mode (ākāra) to know [the object]
there —or to the lying down, standing, or walking modes. So one must directly experience it at the mode [i.e., one
must experience the current position or attitude of the body]. One doesn’t take the awareness here and then there—
such as to the legs or the buttocks. Eh! Walking has buttocks and lying down has buttocks, so is there any sitting
mode there? No, there isn’t. If the mode is in the buttocks, then during lying down there must be sitting, too. This
has to be understood. We have to make the knowing (i.e., the awareness) correct according to reality.
When we are already stiff or sore, what do we do? When having sat for some time, we feel stiff or sore. From what
we have studied, we know that such stiffness, unpleasant bodily feeling, is dukkhavedanā. So when stiffness
40
In other words, if we clean the room because we desire cleanliness or dislike dirtiness, it means the mind is ayoniso
manasikāra, i.e., it lacks skillful attention.
41
The perversion of view about happiness (sukhavipallāsa) wrongly regards our own rūpanāma (bodymind) as
something which can provide happiness, whereas in truth it is suffering.
42
Ākāra: “the (way of) making”, i.e., mode, manner; gesture, sign, appearance; indication; expression. With regards to the
bodily postures, “the (way of) making,” executing or adopting a posture means the mode in which the body is presently
displayed. The mode is the posture itself, thus it comprises those characteristics that distinguish one posture from another.
11
for those who see the harm of perpetual wandering
occurs, what should we do? We must know!—must know that dukkha has arisen. Know who [or what] suffers, and
at which rūpa or nāma dukkha has occurred. When dukkha occurs at sittingrūpa, we must have direct awareness of
that fact. If we are not aware that dukkha has occurred with the sittingrūpa, that the sittingrūpa is dukkha, then we
are bound to take the self as dukkha, thinking, “it is me who suffers [45] the stiffness or aching” (or “it is me who is
the stiffness or aching”).
In regard to the four postures—sitting, lying down, standing and walking—we must realize that we adopt them
because we have to, not because we want to. To “want to” is defilement (kilesa)—wanting to lie down, to sit, etc.
Defilement is that which conceals the truth. We cannot penetrate the truth because defilement is strong. Therefore,
in order to cut off defilement’s food, we should cease to desire. Desiring to lie down shows that defilement wants
the lyingdownrūpa, because it understands it as comfort or happiness. Perversion of view has entered into the
comfort.43 Defilement always wants a comfortable position. Once greed (lobha) has entered [the mind], then wrong
view (diṭṭhi) follows. Greed is the rootcause (mūla).44 Wrong view can arise because greed is a cause that has
entered before.
[But we should understand that] once dukkha occurs, we must lie down. We should know that we are lying down
because we have to—not because we want to. Because wanting to lie down is not in accordance with reality. Why
not? Because if we desired not to lie down, could we then refrain from lying down? If it were possible to lie down,
sit or walk whenever we wanted to, then it should also be possible to refrain from lying down, sitting, or walking
according to our desire. But is that possible? No, it’s definitely impossible. 45
The truth is that we have to sit, we have to lie down, we have to stand, and we have to walk. But if we don’t pay
attention or consider things according to the truth, then we will say that we sit because we want to [sit], eat because
we want to, take a shower because we want to. That means that everything we do [46] is done entirely with
defilement [i.e., with wrong view and therefore with desire present in the mind].
Regarding walking, it is the same. Every step is carried out with defilement, every single step. Whenever we are
going to walk somewhere, see someone, buy something, etc., every single step of that walking is done with
defilement. Then we do not know the truth of who walks or who suffers. And so we are bound to put self into the
walking [“I am walking,” “It is me who is walking”]. When we sit, we don’t know who sits. Consequently, we are
bound to put self into the sitting [“I am sitting”]. When dukkha occurs, we don’t know who is [experiencing the]
dukkha. Consequently, we are bound to put self into the dukkha [“I am suffering,” “I am oppressed”].
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for those who see the harm of perpetual wandering
too long, we get dukkha. Therefore, because it arises at the rūpa, we have to relieve it at the rūpa. If the nāma has
dukkha,48 then we have to relieve it at nāma. Dukkha is a feeling (vedanā), so then we have to relieve it at nāma,
[that’s what makes sense,] right? [I.e., it is a mental phenomenon, and therefore it makes sense we would have to
relieve it at the mind.] [But] why are we then relieving it at the rūpa?
The truth is that it arises at the rūpa: If we didn’t have the body (rūpa), would there be any pain and aching? Even
though there would be feeling [referring to mental, not bodily, feeling], there wouldn’t be the dukkha of stiffness,
aching, or sickness. Thus we have to relieve it at the rūpa.
Like when we are sick and go to the hospital – would the doctor treat the vedanā (feeling) or would he treat the
sickness? He would treat the sickness, right? He would give some kind of medicine to treat the body, right? This
shows us that truth is always here. Actually, we are doing absolutely nothing unusual here. We are simply allowing
ourselves to know as much truth as is normally here already.
As I mentioned, [47] we must be careful about the walking posture. When we enter the practice of kammaṭṭhāna, we
tend to walk in an unusual way—ordinarily we don’t walk like this—we change it into “walkingkammaṭṭhāna.” It is
not walking to relieve dukkha. When walking, we walk sort of slowly. In some places—my goodness!—they even
walk doing a three, five, or sixinterval exercise for each step! For what reason do they do it?
We have to have a reason for whatever we are going to do. Otherwise we will be following defilement, and wisdom
(paññā) will not be able to know the truth of the presentmoment object at all, because defilement will have entered
and gained power over the object already. We should walk in a normal way, without feeling that we are “doing
kammaṭṭhāna” [i.e. that we are practicing vipassanā]. When we sit, we [only] sit to relieve stiffness or aching, as we
normally do [in daily life]—we don’t sit to “do kammaṭṭhāna.”49
Some people are not aware of this. When I ask them if they sit kammaṭṭhāna or not, they say they do, but I have
already told them not to sit kammaṭṭhāna. Some already know, so they don’t do it. Several days later when I ask the
same question again they tell me they don’t, but they are not aware that they’re still doing it. I ask them how they sit,
and they show me by adopting the concentration (samādhi) posture and hand gesture [sitting crosslegged with the
hands in the lap]. I ask them, “Like that? That’s not sittingkammaṭṭhāna? Are you sitting to relieve dukkha? Then
why do you have to sit like that?” Whatever way we sit is fine—with the feet stretched out, or however—it depends.
Whatever posture we adopt that allows us to relieve the stiffness, aching, or suffering is already correct.
Sometimes when people who have been practicing meditation (samādhi)50 in the past come to do [48] vipassanā,
concentration or calmness disturbs them too much. They need vigorous energy [not to delight in the pleasant feeling
arising from strong concentration], and they must have observation, too. They should use many [different] objects,
too, but they shouldn’t use them for too long. When they stay with an object for some time, concentration arises.
For those who have not practiced concentration before, who have not practiced at all—like me, who, before
practicing at Wat Prok, hadn’t done any at all—it’s easier. I’d never liked any of the practices around, mainly
because you couldn’t know the presentmoment object. They made you quiet, and you knew nothing—therefore, I
never practiced them. Because I’d done absolutely no practice in the past, things went smoothly, easily.
But for former concentration practitioners, a lot of observation is needed, especially in being aware when
concentration occurs. People may loose awareness when concentration occurs; this can cause them to have different
48
In other words, if the unpleasant feeling is not caused by the body but is a purely mental condition. Unpleasant mental
feeling, displeasure, or grief, is called “domanassa” in Pali.
49
Mindfulness (sati) knows naturally at the naturally occurring mode. Everything must be known naturally. “Naturally”
means, as one has always known things in daily life. There should not be any special feeling. There should be no feeling
that one is “practicing” (doing kammaṭṭhāna) or doing anything out of the ordinary.
50
That is, samatha, tranquility meditation.
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for those who see the harm of perpetual wandering
Some people ask me whether they should think (recall) often about what position they are in. I say, “no!” [49] We
must really understand that to think and to be aware are different things. Awareness reaches to the presentmoment
object. Thinking can only be [about the] past or the future. We can make it up, though—think it up—but that’s not
[being with] the presentmoment object.
Some people are not aware, so they ask me how to do it: “Should I be thinking often, ‘sittingrūpa’ or ‘lyingdown
rūpa,’ like that?” I tell them it’s not like that, that awareness is like listening to what I am saying right now.
I ask, “Are you aware that you’re listening to what I’m saying? Whoever it is that you are listening to, are you aware
of that? I’m sure you are aware that you’re listening to Achan Naeb, right? And there’s no need to keep thinking that
you’re listening to Achan Naeb, right? Do you have to keep thinking like this or not? No, you don’t have to, right?
Because we are already aware of who’s talking, right? Even though I might speak for one hour, two hours, or you
listen for a few hours, you don’t need to be thinking, you don’t need to label or murmur like that. Awareness has to
be there continuously, on and on.”
This is something difficult—some people don’t understand it at all, because they lack observation. Observation is to
study [to learn; train oneself; probe; examine]. In Pali, we call it “sikkhati”: sīlasikkhā, samādhisikkhā or paññā
sikkhā, that is to say, the training or study of morality (sīla), concentration (samādhi) and wisdom (paññā). Sikkhati
is nothing but observation. People who study well, or do anything well, must be people who have good observation
in order to do things effectively or do things right. If that’s not the case, [50] then it’s impossible.
I tell people who have practiced in other places before—my goodness! some people come after having practiced in
so many places!—I talk to them like this, “People of old had to charge a lot of money for teaching. If a person came
without knowing anything at all, the teacher would charge a little, just six baht. However, if he or she [the student]
already knew something or had any previous experience, the teacher would ask for twelve baht. Why? Because the
teacher had to charge for repairing, too. The students had to pay the price of repairing.” It’s like with clothing: if you
have the tailor cut a new shirt, it’s cheaper than having him fix an old one, because he doesn’t have to undo any
seams, doesn’t have to be careful not to damage it, etc. He doesn’t have to waste time repairing it. 51
It’s the same with this. Some people are so attached to concentration (samādhi) that I have to move them outdoors,
have to let them rest for a while until they get free of the concentration, and then, slowly, let them come back in to
practice again. This is no game—once they get attached to concentration, oh my, they really get attached to it!
In my case, I practiced for four months. At that time there still wasn’t any Abhidhamma [being taught] in Thailand.
Nobody studied or knew anything about it at all. Whoever recited the Abhidhamma had no idea what it all was (nor
did the people who listened). But they believed that [reciting or listening to] it made merit, and that [buying a copy
of an Abhidhamma text and] offering it [to the Saṅgha] was like repaying, and showing gratitude to, your parents.
51
We should emphasize that students who have practiced in other places before are very hard to teach due to the wrong
habits, i.e., wrong views, they have acquired. The longer they have practiced incorrectly, the harder it is to remove their
wrong views. Despite Achan Naeb’s playful comparison, the “teachers of old” did not charge for their instruction, nor do
contemporary instructors who teach the genuine practice. Since the Buddha’s teaching doesn’t belong to anyone, it cannot
fall into the worldly realm of buyingandselling.
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for those who see the harm of perpetual wandering
Supremely holy these words, “cit, ce, ru, ni,” the holiest of the Abhidhamma.52 By [writing them on a piece of paper
and] placing them in the mouth of the dead, people believed that [the body of] the deceased would not stink. 53 My
goodness! They really held on to such “holiness,” and so truly offered it according to this belief, but they had no
idea whatsoever about what the Abhidhamma [51] [actually] talked about. My teacher became aware of this as soon
as I told him that I didn’t know about rūpa and nāma, but wanted to practice vipassanā. The fact that Thai people
wanted to practice vipassanā without knowing rūpanāma made him understand immediately that we had no study of
Abhidhamma—which means that there was no Abhidhamma in Thailand.
So when I completed my practice, my teacher wanted me to set my mind to studying. I already knew a bit about
vipassanā, such as the order of the various kinds of insightknowledges (ñāṇa), like anulomañāṇa and gotrabhū
ñāṇa.54 One time [when I had just come to practice] I asked him [my teacher] what the meaning of anulomañāṇa
and gotrabhūñāṇa were. He raised his hand to stop me from asking, and said that it was not time to know about that
yet. Later on I would know. He meant that these knowledges should not be known through someone telling us about
them. They have to be known by means of our own work, through our own correct practice. If he were to talk to me
about that now, he told me, I would lose [awareness of] the present moment, because the mind would be thinking
about ñāṇa.
He asked me to set my mind on studying with determination, because he had the intention to teach me with the
purpose of having me become a master in preaching the Dhamma (desanā pātihāriya), which means teaching others
to make them understand [how to practice].
I told him I could not do it because I couldn’t teach. When he asked why not, I said that because I didn’t know
anything about the scriptures (pariyatti), it would be impossible to teach others. He said that that [having prior
knowledge of the Buddhist scriptures] was unnecessary, and then told me his story.
He had turned to this practice because of his [own] teacher, a layman who had practiced for ten months. The
layman’s teacher was [in turn] a 70 yearold novice. In Burma, if you are elderly, you would normally ordain as a
novice instead of a monk. They think you might be unable to keep [52] the monk’s discipline (vinaya) pure. Just
because you’re over 20 doesn’t mean you should necessarily ordain as a monk. Those who ordain as monks must be
people with the ability to uphold all the rules of the DhammaVinaya.
So the layman’s teacher became a novice when he was 70. However, he had studied the scriptures (pariyatti) very
well—the Burmese are generally very good in the study of pariyatti. He had carried a book, the “Foundations of
Mindfulness Discourse” (Satipaṭṭhāna Sutta), with him into the forest. He stayed in a cave, and because he could
read Pali, he practiced every subcategory [from the “Foundations of Mindfulness Discourse”]—he was skillful with
Pali; he could translate anything. So he practiced every subcategory (pabba), and succeeded [in attaining wisdom]
when practicing with the postures and clear comprehension subcategories, which are pure vipassanā. Satipaṭṭhāna,
the foundations of mindfulness, consists of 44 subcategories within the four [main] categories. 55 Each category has
it’s own particular group of subcategories, which add up to 44.
In the “Contemplation of the Body as a Basis for Mindfulness” category (kāyānupassanāsatipaṭṭhāna), we find two
or three subcategories that are pure vipassanā, for which it is not necessary to develop samatha (concentration).
These subcategories are: the “Four Major Postures” (iriyāpatha), the “Minor Postures” (sampajañña), and then the
52
Citta, cetasika, rūpa, and Nibbāna are the crux of the Abhidhamma.
53
This is a peculiarly Thai belief.
54
These two insightknowledges concern awakening, whereas vipassanā practice concerns becoming aware of and
comprehending the defilements in the mind. The former (awakening) is the result of the latter (the understanding of
defilement).
55
Contemplation of the body, feelings, mind and specific mental qualities.
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for those who see the harm of perpetual wandering
four elements [earth, air, fire, and water] belonging to the “Elements” (dhātu) subcategory, in which we contemplate
the entire body as [nothing but] elements.
But [in this category, “Contemplation of the Body as a Basis for Mindfulness”] there are also subcategories that
have to be practiced by way of samatha [i.e., in which concentration has to be developed first], like the 32 parts of
the body, consisting of hair, body hair, nails, teeth, skin, and so forth (when a monk has just ordained, it is
traditional to practice this kammaṭṭhāna).
There are only three subcategories of pure vipassanā. Apart from these, in the remaining subcategories, although one
also practices the Four Foundations [of Mindfulness] to reach Nibbāna, one must do samatha first. One needs to
have concentration (samādhi) first, and one should attain absorption (jhāna) first, too. Only then can one switch to
vipassanā. Otherwise one cannot do it: [in regard to these latter subcategories] if one succeeds in samatha but
develops no jhāna, then vipassanā cannot happen.
[53] Once the teacher of the layman had become a novice and had [gained] the knowledge of vipassanā, he didn’t
know who he could teach, because in Burma it was the same thing [as in Thailand]: there was only samādhi, not
vipassanā.56 The wealthy Burmese would make merit by building small huts (kutis) in the forest and leaving them
there for [the use of] anyone who wanted to meditate. But here again, there was no vipassanā. My teacher said, “The
novice had it, but he didn’t know who to transmit it to, so he thought he would transmit it to the wealthy man who
supported the monks in that temple.” Every Burmese temple always had to have a rich man as a benefactor. For that
reason the government had nothing to do with the temples or the running of them. The English administration was
not concerned. Then how would the temples support themselves? Impoverished or not, they had to take care of
themselves. A rich man would be the benefactor of a temple, supplying the four requisites (paccaya) according to
his means.
The novice really had no idea who to turn to, because nobody would be able to understand anything. But since he
intended to teach some monks who were under a layman’s support, he decided to talk to and explain everything to
that layman. The layman, having some knowledge about pariyatti (theory), said, “No, sir, I cannot force the monks
[54] to practice what you say. I don’t yet know whether or not it is correct or justified. I have to try it myself first.”
If he was to disseminate this knowledge to the monks, he had to prove its worth by practicing it himself first, to see
to what extent it was true.
So the novice took the layman to practice, and he [the layman] practiced the postures (iriyāpatha) and the clear
comprehension (sampajañña) categories for ten months. After ten months, the layman gained the wisdom that
penetrates [ultimate] truth. [Since] he knew that he [now] had right view, he wanted the monks to practice, too—in
particular the monks who were keen on pariyatti. Only then, by also including the knowledge derived from paṭipatti,
would their knowledge become broad.
Someone advised the layman to see my teacher, who had completed the study of the Three Baskets, and at that time
was teaching [a number of] monks and novices at the same temple. So he [the layman] went to see him, but in the
status of a student. He went to ask questions, because he was told that my teacher was an expert in the Three
56
In another talk Achan Naeb puts it this way: “...The 70 year old novice took with him a copy of the “Satipaṭṭhāna Sutta”
to look at. But the novice’s pariyatti was also very good. He was intelligent about the scriptures. He took the copy with
him to look at, examine, and then practice. Once he had investigated it, he followed it. He followed it until he met with
sure evidence. In order for vipassanā to be visible it must be done in this way. And then in the sections where you do pure
vipassanā, not having to rely on samatha first—where you don’t have to do samādhi and get jhāna first—that is what the
novice took [with him] to study, examine, and train in. He took the guidelines to look at, to study—basing himself [his
practice] on this for ten years. It took ten years from the time he went to live alone in a cave in the forest [in order] to give
it a try, to inquire and verify, until it became ‘apparent’ to him. He was then 80 years old. And then, at the age of 80, he
returned. So who could he speak with? Nobody believed him. No one could understand anything [he taught]. How would
he transmit it like this? To whom would he transmit it? ...”
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for those who see the harm of perpetual wandering
Baskets. Therefore, he had some challenging question to ask. When he asked about pariyatti, my teacher could
answer everything, but as soon as he started to ask about paṭipatti (practice) he [my teacher] could not answer,
because he had never practiced.
Then the layman said that since he had been studying, he would like my teacher to ask him some questions, and he
would try to answer them. My teacher did so, and the layman answered all the questions easily. My goodness! That
layman had no difficulty with the path of practice! My teacher then realized that the layman’s way of practice must
be correct, must be right view, otherwise there’d have been no way he could have answered all the questions, no
matter what means he used. The layman then asked my teacher to [55] practice [vipassanā]. So my teacher went to
practice with the layman. He, too, practiced for four months. After four months he [my teacher] quit, meaning, he
had succeeded [attained insight].
The layman also wanted my teacher to become an instructor himself. However, although my teacher actually
understood the practice [from firsthand experience], he still didn’t know how to teach kammaṭṭhāna [i.e., he didn’t
know how to explain it to others]. Each practitioner makes his or her own particular mistake(s), 57 which is an
obstacle in developing vipassanā. So my teacher had to stay there first to listen to how the layman interviewed and
taught other practitioners, and how he corrected their mistakes. Then, unexpectedly, he [my teacher], a Burmese
instructor, was invited to come and teach kammaṭṭhāna [in Thailand].
After I finished my four months of practice, my teacher, knowing that in Thailand there was no study of
Abhidhamma (with which I myself wasn’t even yet familiar) said to me, “Ms. Naeb, if it’s not yet necessary [for
you to go home], could you postpone your return?”
Oh! I wondered what other duty he could have for me. But I said, “Okay. Is there anything else the venerable
teacher wants me to do, or…?” He said he wanted me to learn Abhidhamma—he said it like that, straight away—he
said he would teach me himself.
The reason [he wanted to teach me] is because the intrinsic natures are very [56] clear to practitioners who have just
finished kammaṭṭhāna [i.e., who have just finished their practice]. That’s because, in vipassanā practice we work
with intrinsic natures rather than concepts (paññatti) or names. He said that the intrinsic natures were still clear [to
me] then, meaning that it hadn’t yet been long enough for me to forget them. So he had me learning.
My goodness! It wasn’t easy. It all had to be translated from Burmese. When my teacher finished writing it in
Burmese, he would have Mr. Praphan come and write it in Thai, and then it would be my turn to read it and commit
it to memory. Then, when it was time, he would examine me to see whether I had already memorized what he had
written down or not, if I understood it yet or not.
He taught me and I studied for a long time. Later I went back home, but that didn’t mean I had completed my
studies. I still had to return twice a week to study, every Wednesday and Saturday. I would go to see my teacher on
Wednesday and come back home on Thursday. I would go again on Saturday, spent a night, and return home on
Sunday. I studied for a long time. But even after ten years of having studied both Vipassanā and Abhidhamma,
people would listen [to what I said] but understand nothing. I didn’t talk about it at all. And why did I not teach
Abhidhamma? Because they were all utterly mystified! 58 They had absolutely no idea about what consciousness
andmental factors (cittacetasika) and materiality (rūpa) were. They understood nothing. They had never learned or
heard about them before, not even the monks. For those first ten years the people I taught could understand a bit
about vipassanā, [57] but not about Abhidhamma. Ten years later it was better. So twenty years passed.
I.e., every student has his own particular misunderstandings.
57
From the Thai idiom: “to be in darkness about the eight sides,” which are: the Four Noble Truths, past time, future time,
58
present time, and dependent coarising (paṭicca samuppāda).
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for those who see the harm of perpetual wandering
I first taught Abhidhamma at one temple only, Wat Rakhang [in Bangkok]. There were about twenty students—that
is all I wanted for a start, or so I thought. 59 I also started teaching vipassanā there, in a deserted sermonhall with
many bats flying around. The wooden door had been hammered shut with nails. I asked permission from the abbot
to have it opened. We cleaned and fixed up the hall, then divided it into small rooms for practicing vipassanā. There
were about twenty students the first day. I continued teaching there…
Translated by Rodrigo Aldana
Edited by Cynthia Thatcher
Dhamma Garden (2012)
Trat province, Thailand
round.free@gmail.com
www.dhammagarden.jimdo.com
www.sites.google.com/site/roundfree/home
59
Achan Naeb was the first person to teach Abhidhamma in Thailand.
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