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A few months ago, a man at VUS said to me, “What is your name.” I
didn’t feel like he was asking me my name but ordering me to tell him
my name as a man would order his dog to sit. Direct questions are
often considered to be rude when speaking to strangers.
Since that day I have gotten to know the man and he is actually very
friendly; he just sounded rude because he used a direct question.
There are two ways in which he could have sounded more polite.
Firstly, he could have used intonation when asking his question. When
intonation rises at the end of a question it can sound more polite than
a question without intonation. In general, speaking with intonation
makes you sound more polite, and interesting. Secondly, instead of
using a direct question, he could have used an indirect question.
This indirect question would have sounded much friendlier:
(Saying “Excuse me” would be even more polite; for example, “Excuse
me. May I ask what your name is?”)
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Examples:
• Where is Jack?
I was wondering if you know where Jack is? (Jack is at the store)
• When does Alice usually arrive?
Here are some of the most common phrases used for asking indirect
questions. Many of these phrases are used to make questions (i.e., Do
you know when the next train leaves?), while others are statements
made to indicate a question (i.e., I wonder if he will be on time.).
Do you know . . . ?
May I ask . . . ?
I have no idea . . . .
I wonder/was wondering . . . .