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Personal strength is no coincidence

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persolog® e-book
persolog® e-book

Personal strength
is no coincidence

Friedbert Gay

Understand
yourself and
others better
 p-book persolog® e-book
Personal strength is no coincidence

Darlings of Fortune?
Are people with “strong personality” just “dar-
lings of fortune” – you know, born lucky or with
the right type of genes? No. We can all develop
personal strength. If you understand yourself, you
can shape your life so that you optimally realize
your personal capabilities and live in harmony
with yourself. And if you understand others better,
you can win them over to your ideas and success-
fully cooperate with them. Personal strength is
thus no coincidence but the result of a clear view
of oneself and others. How can you improve your
view? This article will explain just that.

Who has a strong personality?

Angela Merkel? Without her personal strengths
she certainly wouldn’t have made it all the way to
becoming German chancellor. Perhaps Ferdinand
Piëch, the cool-headed, tactically brilliant chairman of
Volkswagen’s supervisory board. In the beginning, he
successfully defended the company against Porsche’s
takeover ambitions only to turn the tables around at
the end. Thomas Gottschalk, the TV talk show host,
who attracts millions of viewers Saturday evenings by
casually chatting away? Or Mother Theresa who was
awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for her selfless work in
the slums of Calcutta? Without a doubt, people would
say that she too has a strong personality. However, ima-
gine for a brief moment that Thomas Gottschalk would
take over the job of German chancellor, Ferdinand
Piëch would host the Saturday evening show, Mother
Theresa would head an international company, and
Angela Merkel would serve in a hospice for the poor.
Overall, this would be a rather alarming picture.

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Stock photo © eyetoeyePIX

Personal strength is no coincidence
Even extremely successful people who attract
others through their personal strengths obvious-
ly have “weak” sides. However, they have found a
suitable environment – a job that allows them to put
their strengths to optimal use and one in which their
weaknesses are of less consequence. Most likely, they
worked hard on themselves at times when their goals
and the situation demanded. Angela Merkel is also a
good example of this: If you look at press photos from
the early 1990s, you hardly recognize the cosmopoli-
tan stateswoman she is now in the almost shy face of
the emerging politician she was back then.
Every person has “strengths” as well as “weak-
nesses”. I have intentionally put quotation marks
around these words because in certain contexts every
apparent strength can also prove to be a weakness,
and vice versa – for example, when the cool analyti-
cal person is suddenly expected to cover the Saturday
evening entertainment show. For this reason, I prefer
to speak of “shortcomings” or “limitations”.
„It is personalities, not principles,
that move the age.“
Oskar Wilde
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People with a strong personality:
➜ know their own strengths as well as their short-
comings
➜ s eek an environment ( a profession, a job) in
which they can put their strengths to use
➜ a ccept their counterpart’s “otherness” and deal
with others constructively
➜ seek opportunities for personal development.
Personality models help people to develop a clear
view of themselves and train them in understanding
human nature. A tried and tested model for better
understanding yourself and others is the persolog®
Personality Factor Model. It was developed by Dr. John
G. Geier and is based on the behavioral dimensions D
(Dominant), I Influencing), S (Steady), and C (Cau-
tious). For two decades, it has been used at a number
of companies for management and team develop-
ment as well as to optimize telephone behavior, sales
meetings, time management and conflict resolution.
The model systematizes the variety of human behavi-
or tendencies without oversimplifying them; it is also
easy for non-experts to understand and use – a fact
confirmed by more than 60,000 analyses per year.
3
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Personal strength is no coincidence

Understand yourself
and others better:
The four behavioral styles
Reflect for just a moment: What went through
your head when you picked up a book recently?
1. Did you impatiently thumb through it while
simultaneously wondering, “Which article is of
use to me?” because you hate wasting time and
want to see concrete results quickly?
2. What it the authors that piqued your curiosity –
“Who exactly has written this article?” Did you
look at the photos to see whose articles sounded
interesting and then read a bit here and there
until you remembered that you actually needed
to check your e-mails again and make a telepho-
ne call?
3. Did you look for familiar names and take your
time to decide “What more would I like to
learn?” and then decide that you weren’t in the
right mood and might better start reading on the
weekend?
4. Did you carefully study the table of contents first
to get an overview and preselect the articles that
appeared interesting and then – as a third step –
after taking a look at the summaries, circle those
you want to thoroughly work through?

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Stock photo © kemalbas
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Personal strength is no coincidence

The four types of reader described above reflect the behavioral tendencies on which the persolog® Personality
Factor Model is based:

1. Dominant:
“I know what I want!”

P eople with a dominant behavior tendency are n I find it easy to make decisions.
self-confident, determined and assertive. They are
characterized by their strong willpower, tackling n I enjoy taking “command”.
challenges and actively shaping their environment. n Results are what matter.
The flip side of the coin is that people of this behavior
type are not very considerate of others’ feelings and n I strive for success.
needs. This behavior tendency is highly pronoun-
n Sometimes you have to talk straight.
ced in you if you strongly agree with the following
statements:

2. Influencing:
“Together we are strong!”

People with the influencing behavior tendency are n I like having a lot of people around me.
lively, optimistic and talkative. They are outgoing and
friendly when meeting others; they like enthusing other n I can get others enthused.
people and getting them roused. They are not afraid of n A good mood is important to me.
showing emotions. The flip side of the coin is that they
often start too many projects in their exuberance and n It’s great to accomplish things together.
then don’t finish them off. They may sometimes appear
n Y ou’ve got to be prepared to turn a blind
superficial to others with all their enthusiasm. This
eye sometimes.
behavior tendency is highly pronounced in you if you
strongly agree with the following statements.

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Personal strength is no coincidence

3. Steady:
“It would be better if we took
a calm approach to that …”

People with a steady behavior tendency are calm,
reliable and cooperative. They value predictable
processes and a relaxed, friendly atmosphere. They
perform their tasks reliably and with concentration.
The flip side of the coin is that steadiness is often
coupled with a dread of changes and a lack of initiati-
ve. People with this behavior tendency have a difficult
time dealing with conflicts. This behavior tendency is
highly pronounced in you if you strongly agree with
the following statements:
n I am sociable and willing to help people.
n I respect the needs of others.
n Y ou can achieve a lot with patience and
friendliness.
n It is easy for me to put myself in someone
else’s place.
n You should calmly weigh things before
starting them.

4. Cautious:
“Whatever I do, I do it right!”

People with the cautious behavior tendency are I have a sense of duty.
orderly, disciplined and tactical. They follow orders and
norms and perform their duties with exemplary diligen- I adhere to standards.
ce. Structured processes are important to them. The flip I strive for perfection.
side of the coin is that cautious people tend to get lost
in the details; it’s hard for them to let go and to delegate Mistakes annoy me.
and sometimes they are overly cautious. This behavior
I demand a great deal from myself.
tendency is highly pronounced in you if you strongly
agree with the following statements:

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Personal strength is no coincidence
It is very likely that you will see yourself in strong
agreement with the example statements of different
behavior tendencies but with a dominance in certain
areas. Every person possesses something of all four
behavior styles albeit to varying degrees. Which of the
statements would you agree with if you could choose
no more than six?
A lot of people have two strong tendencies – that
is, they primarily behave in a combinational style
of dominant-influencing, steady-cautious, cauti-
ous-dominant, etc. Some people even exhibit a trio of
tendencies while others are strongly characterized by
a single style.
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Of course, these brief self-assessments are not
equivalent to a comprehensive personality factor pro-
file. What I aim to do is convey a basic understanding
of the four behavioral dimensions D (Dominant), I
(Influencing), S (Steady) and C (Cautious) to you.
To this end, it’s very helpful to keep the original
basis of the four styles in mind. As early as the 1920s,
William Moulton Marston was intensively engaged in
the study of human emotions and behavior. Marston
determined two main differences between people:
❙ P
 eople consider themselves to be either stronger or
weaker than their environment, and
❙ T
 hey perceive their environment as either friendly
or hostile towards them.
Dr. John Geier used these results as a basis to
develop the persolog® perception and behavior/action
model, which served to systematize assessments of the
four behavioral styles.
❙ Individuals who perceive that they are stronger
than their environment tend to actively shape it
(> dominance or influencing).
❙ Those who perceive themselves as weaker than their
environment tend to react more cautiously to it
(> steadiness or caution).
❙ Those who perceive their environment as “hostile”
(strenuous, stressful), try to force submission
(> through dominance or caution).
❙ Those who perceive their environment as “friendly”
(pleasant, non-stressful), try to act in harmony
with it (> influencing or steadiness).
7

Personal strength is no coincidence
Stock photo © kupicoo
Underlying the behavior styles are thus basic atti-
tudes and patterns of reaction, which are conditioned
in part by one’s upbringing, role models, experience
and genetic disposition. Think for a few moments
back to our initial example: It surely isn’t difficult
now for you to ascribe a prevailing behavior tendency
to the famous people mentioned above from Angela
Merkel to Thomas Gottschalk. And if you mentally
go through your colleagues at the company, this fact
may well shed a different light on many a case of
friction. Your “pedantic” colleague who insists on
planning and a structured approach is following her
very own style just as is “Joe Go-getter”, who immedi-
ately gets all fired up about new ideas. The differences
in the behavioral styles become tangible, particularly
when it comes to dealing with change. When I give
presentations, I like to explain these differences using
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the example of how people react to a relatively
boring change step – a freshly renovated and newly
furnished open-plan office. Here’s how it goes:
❙ C
 olleague D (with a clearly critical underto-
ne): “Okay. That needed to be done years ago. Let’s
step back and have a look at it first. I see they’ve
bought the cheapest furniture again!”
❙ C
 olleague I (friendly and hopeful): “Great!
Have you guys noticed – everything is new!? Where
am I going to sit?!”
❙ C
 olleague S (confused and aghast): “Oh no,
they have ruined everything. It’ll take forever before
I learn where everything is now! The whole routine
is gone now – this is a disaster…”
❙ C
 olleague G (scrutinizing the scene and wag-
ging a finger): “Does the management know about
this? Was this carefully planned in advance?”
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Personal strength is no coincidence

I am just
as I am.
The persolog® Personality Factor Model helps you
to be more aware of yourself and others. So far so
good. However, the point is not to neatly sort people
into one of four “pigeonholes”, including many a
mixed or borderline type. To avoid doing this initially
may demand more understanding from you on a
daily basis. For example, if you (as a dynamic-deter-
mined personality type) decide that you are no longer
going to regard Mr. Smith from the accounting
department as a “pedantic” person but as a cautious
“C” type. However, as soon as you “immediately”
need a few figures from him for an important project,
he will fall back on his customary explanation (“It’s
impossible to get them that quickly. First I need to …
and anyway, have you got the request form filled out
and signed?”). At this point at the latest you will most
likely react just as impatiently as you did in the past.
Recognizing your own behavior tendencies and
those of others is one thing. Using them constructi-
vely is another: How can people improve cooperation
without giving up who they are? How can you effec-
tively work together with others and achieve targeted
results with less friction loss? These are in fact the
exciting questions. They quickly lead to a very basic
point: Are we as we are or can we change?

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Personal strength is no coincidence
Paradoxically, most people expect the “others” to
change, but they themselves are not prepared to do so.
If Mr. Smith in the accounting department were just
a little less “pedantic” and would react just a little
quicker, everything would be okay. From Mr. Smith’s
point of view, everything would be fine if others would
just plan a little bit and approach things as he does by
following the procedures.
Where is the way out of this dead-end street of each
party expecting the other to change? Imagine for just
a moment the following two scenarios:
1. You have just successfully concluded an import-
ant project – acquired a key customer, convinced
management of an idea, already achieved your
annual target ….You are fit as a fiddle, well
rested, in a good mood and very optimistic that
the current plan will also be successful. You enter
Mr. Smith’s office to ask for the figures you need
as quickly as possible.
❙ How is the conversation likely to go?
❙ How will you act? How will Mr. Smith react? And
how will you deal with a reluctant reaction?
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2. You have just suffered defeat –an important
customer has surprisingly defected, management
continues to be against one of your ideas, you
may as well forget your bonus this year…You are
tired, on edge and, as can be imagined, in a bad
mood. You now want to finally get the new project
underway so that it doesn’t go wrong too. You
enter Mr. Smith’s office to ask him for the figures
you need for the project as soon as possible.
❙ How is this conversation likely to go?
❙ H ow will you act? How will Mr. Smith react? And
how will you deal with a reluctant reaction?
Is it conceivable that in the first scenario you
would muster up patience and friendliness, prepare
yourself a little more for Mr. Smith, bearing in mind
how he is, and almost effortlessly achieve an agree-
ment both parties could live with? And that in the
second scenario you would react gruffly and apply
pressure with the highly likely result that Mr. Smith
really would react stubbornly.
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Personal strength is no coincidence

The well known psychologist Kurt Lewin was one

of the first in the field to draw attention to that fact
human behavior is not purely a reflex of our charac-
ter but the result of an interaction between our per-
sonality and our environment. We are not simply “as
we are”; rather our behavior is the result of a complex
interplay in which our counterpart and our current
situation play an important role.
This is nothing new to most people. “You ought
to see my boss at the tennis club! He’s like a different
person there!” or “My colleague Ms. Jones is actually
quite nice. But lately when we were under so much
pressure, she acted as if friendships didn’t matter at
all!” You hear such observations time and time again
in daily life. People react to their environment and
adapt their behavior. In difficult times we fall back on
our inner convictions of what is essentially important
to us and what characterizes us. The persolog® Per-
sonality Factor Profile reveals not only one’s public
self-concept but also private self-concept. The former
refers to how we project ourselves externally, what we
consider appropriate in our professional environment
or private life because this image corresponds to
social expectations. The latter refers to how we react
spontaneously, especially when under pressure. In
these reactions, our personal convictions, which were
formed very early in the development of our emoti-
onal world, prevail more strongly. When a healthy
person’s private self-concept emerges, he or she does
not undergo a radical Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde-like
transformation. Instead it is as if certain contours of
that person’s personality appear more strongly defined
while others appear less pronounced.

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Personal strength is no coincidence

Professional self-management
as a characteristic of a strong
personality
The person who consciously bears in mind the
relationship between environment and his own beha-
vior can overcome reflex-based reactions and control
his behavior in a targeted manner. People with strong
personalities are capable of adapting their behavior to
the situation and constructively dealing with people of
different behavior types. This has nothing to do with
chameleon-like adaptations but much more with not
submitting to direct behavioral impulses and emotions.
And this is because the systematic conditionality of
human behavior has an encouraging consequence:
I cannot change others but by changing myself I auto-
matically get different responses. This means that
others change themselves.
Cautious Mr. Smith reacts differently if I behave less
impulsively and take his considerations more seriously.
Stock photo © franckreporter

If I conduct the conversation in a different way, I get a

different reaction, which in turn plays a role in deter-
mining my further behavior. If I more strongly respect
the advance timing Mr. Smith demands, he is potential-
ly more likely to act differently in spite of his fussy self.
“Professional self-management” sounds good you
may say, but how does one put it into practice? Remem-
ber that as a general rule our behavior is motivated by
certain goals. Different behavioral tendencies correlate
to certain basic aims.

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Personal strength is no coincidence
One important aim underlying “steady” behavior,
for example, is achieving harmony with the environ-
ment (being accepted, satisfying others and making
them happy). In “cautious” behavior, caution plays a
major role (avoiding risks, doing things the right way)
while “influencing” behavior is motivated by the desire
to realize own ideas and remain capable of acting. “Do-
minant” behavior is less characterized by caution as it
is by striving for power (responsibility) and success.
Our aims trigger certain perceptions and cause us
to act in certain ways. A desire to achieve success soon
with my project motivates me to act energetically. If I
don’t want to make any mistakes, I am not going to be
affected by people trying to hurry me up. Thus, recog-
nizing and reflecting on one’s own aims are of major
importance to successful self-management. Being
conscious of my own aims and ensuring that these
agree with a given situation give me an emotional
advantage in successfully adapting my behavior: aim +
perception = action.
Here is an everyday example of this relationship:
People hate doing their tax declarations; a lot of people
put them off week after week. Imagine, however, that
you intend to recover a nice amount from the tax
authorities. The job suddenly appears easier and you no
longer dread filling out those “awful” forms.
Professionally managing your behavior thus means:
1. Consciously assessing situations
What exactly is occurring in this situation? What
demands are being made of me? How do I classify
this specific situation on the basis of my experience?
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2. Being clear about your own intentions
What are my intentions? Which aim is realistic and
appropriate for the situation?
3. Determining the behavior required
What behavior will serve my purpose? How can I
achieve my goal? If I am serious about my aim I
will generate the energy needed to adapt my behavi-
or to this end.
4. Strengthening the new behavior
How do others react to my behavior? What feedback
do I get? What proves successful?
5. Reflecting on the entire process
How successful am I in this specific change process?
Are my aims strong enough for me to adapt my be-
havior? Am I less successful in doing so because other
aims I have are possibly stronger?
You may have noted that this is somewhat different
than just telling yourself you are going to be more
patient from now on in tolerating Mr. Smith’s sense of
thoroughness or that you are not going to take your
“influencing” colleague’s very verbal outbursts of ent-
husiasm so seriously in the future. The main thing is
to understand that your own actions and emotions are
the result of your intentions and thoughts and to align
them accordingly.
Professional self-management means no longer
making other people or events responsible for our
behavior but rather reflecting on the causes within our-
selves. The situation is what it is. But I can choose how
I react to it: Do I want my behavior to be dominated by
spontaneous reflexes or do I want to target my behavior
to agree with my intentions? Do my emotions control
me or do I control my emotions? ■
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Personal strength is no coincidence

Suggestions
for leadership
and teamwork
Most problems in companies are of an interperso-
nal nature. Ask a close friend about his job and you
will hardly ever hear about impersonal work-related
issues such as difficult new software or the like. Most
often you will hear about his new boss that is too strict
or not decisive enough, or about colleagues that reject
your friend or try to get too close, about employees that
don’t pull their weight or that run away with the ball.
According to an old personnel saying, people are hired
for their expertise and dismissed for their personalities.
Nonetheless, in companies, completely different types of
people have to work together.
As a manager, your performance is measured
by your success in leading your staff. Your job is
to achieve results. For this to happen you have to
motivate the people in your department. However,
what motivates one staff member and drives them to
top performance can have exactly the opposite effect
on another member. One person loves challenges
and plenty of flexibility while another person feels
alarmed and lacking orientation under the same
conditions. A third person finds it difficult to perform
routine tasks and abhors precise scheduling, while the
colleague sitting across from him reacts sensitively
to always having to get used to something new and
changing plans in mid-stream.

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Personal strength is no coincidence
One important initial step in professional leaders-
hip is to accept this diversity and to actually value it
as a gain. However, our efforts are often thwarted in
the process by something that is a common human
tendency: We tend to judge people that have the same
behavior tendencies as we ourselves do on the basis
of their strengths and people with other prevailing
behavior tendencies on the basis of their weaknesses.
In either case, our view is myopic. When we judge
people on the basis of their weaknesses it is impossible
to establish a good long-term relationship with them.
There are five steps we can take to prevent this
from happening:
Step 1:
Identify the behavior of others through observation.
Step 2:
Learn to understand the personal needs of others.
Step 3:
Develop a positive attitude toward people with
different behavioral styles.
Step 4:
Find out what could cause tensions in the
relationship with certain people.
Step 5:
Use your own ability to adapt so that the
interpersonal needs of these people are met.
Being adaptable means that we treat others like we
want to be treated ourselves. This statement is often
quoted and just as often misunderstood to mean a
superficial rule to “treat everybody the same way”
and “be fair”.
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However, if we are honest with ourselves, we also
expect something different from our counterpart:
We want him or her to listen to us, to make a
serious effort to understand us, to respect our needs
and not try to set us on another course with unsoli-
cited advice. For management, this means protec-
ting individual employee strengths and balancing
their weaknesses with our strengths. This is, of
course, an ambitious plan and a continuous daily
challenge. But you ultimately became a manager
yourself because you dare to act, isn’t that right?
Treating dissimilar people the same way is not
“fair” but extremely unfair..
Insight into people’s different strengths and limita-
tions has consequences for teamwork as well. Recog-
nizing that genuine teams benefit from the different
contributions made by their members is meanwhile
common knowledge. A team that is exclusively made
up of “pioneers” or “entertainers” or “perfectionists”
would probably hardly ever get anything accomplis-
hed due to lots of cunning planning, lively debate or
painstaking fiddling with process requirements; ins-
tead, such a team would end up standing in its own
way. The atmosphere in each of these “monocultu-
res”, on the other hand, would probably be great: As
the team members would be similar, everybody would
be likely to get along automatically. Dealing with
people who are like you, who think like you do, is
generally easy.
On high performance teams, in contrast, the sum
of the different strengths of the members ideally adds
up to more than the individual parts. For such teams,
individual diversity is their biggest opportunity and
biggest challenge at the same time.
15

Personal strength is no coincidence
This is because diversity demands that all involved
recognize the strengths, needs and limitations of the
others and that everyone be prepared to accept these
differences and even put them to productive use. Most
people however are hardly aware of the variety of
personality types there are and the behavior dynamics
generated as a result. The same is also true, by the
way, for the much praised diversity model practiced in
companies: Having a variety in age, gender, natio-
nality, religion, educational background, etc. can
potentially benefit performance, and just as easily be
a source of conflict that limits performance. It also
depends in such cases on what you do with what you
have.
Conclusion:
Personal strength is no coincidence ...
…but the result of reflected behavior towards oneself and others instead. And the best basis for targeted develop-
ment of one’s own personality is a more in-depth understanding of personal strengths as well as limitations:
one’s own and those of one’s counterpart.
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Diversity in teams and in companies can indeed be
beneficial to realizing potential if we take the follo-
wing steps:
Step 1:
Make the diversity of those involved a topic of
discussion, steering the focus to the strengths of the
individual team members.
Step 2:
In assigning tasks on a team, take account of
strengths and tendencies insofar as this is possible.
Step 3:
Make conflicts a topic of discussion as soon as they
are evident and eliminate misunderstandings that
result from different behavioral tendencies.
Step 4:
Promote a culture of discussion (and set an
example as a manager) in which individual aims
are discussed rather than speculation about others’
motives or even assigning blame.
Step 5:
Offer development opportunities instead of deman-
ding that a person “change”. There’s a difference in
whether somebody gets a chance to expand his or her
range of behaviors to agree with their aims or whether
they are quickly sent off to a “re-education” seminar.
16
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persolog® e-book
Personal strength is no coincidence

Friedbert Gay

Friedbert Gay, master trainer and managing direc-

tor of persolog GmbH in Remchingen, Germany, has
introduced the persolog® Personality Factor Model in
Germany and regularly holds seminars and presenta-
tions on personality and organizational development.
persolog GmbH specializes
in conceptual plans, systems and instruments for
organizational and personality development. www.
persolog.com

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Create success in your career - and in your life!

„The Behavioral Blueprint“ English
Lothar Seiwert / Friedbert Gay (Ed.)
This may be the most important key to success you‘ve ever found: Always under-
stand the type of person you‘re dealing with. Communicate with each person the
way that person is „wired“ to accept, and wants to respond. This book provides
you with valuable orientation toward understanding the complexities of personali-
ty. Practical Application in Business and Private Life including Time Management,
Leadership, Teamwork, Sales, Partnership and Parenting.
Hardcover, 144 pages, 4-colored with a short test and many practical facilities

➜ To order the book, email us to mail@persolog.com

info@persolog.ro

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