Translation Preparation

for an iFixit Guide

XBOX ONE WIRELESS CONTROLLER BUTTON REPLACEMENT
ANDREA AUSMUS (TWC 435)
Analysis and Revisions

The iFixit Guide for repairing or replacing the buttons on an Xbox Controller had many issues. The original,

written by Dylan Gross, can be found at the following website:

https://www.ifixit.com/Guide/Xbox+One+Wireless+Controller+Model+1708+Button+Replacement/98312

Before establishing the changes, I needed to establish the needs of the document. I chose Germany as my

location because my family is planning a trip to Berlin next summer and I wanted to take this chance to

familiarize myself with the culture prior to the visit.

After the insights were made for the target culture, I looked through the guide for issues that would not

translate well. These included word choice, strong verbs, grammar and sentence structure.

As this is a guide there was little need to expound on the document. Especially because Germans, like us in

the United States, have a low power distance. This was especially important for the formatting and the

required introduction to the guide. Dylan’s version of the guide appears to have been targeted for an

audience from the United States.

Cultural Insights
The following insights are applied to information taken from the website: www.hofstede-insights.com

Germany has a low power distance (35).

Due to Germany’s low power distance I edited the document in a more direct way.

Communicating the dialog as short commands with little background to establish a credibility of

knowledge in the product.

Germany is also an individualistic society (67).

Direct communication is expected. They also expect benefits from their own hard work. In my

document the connection to the cultural preference is found by the direct information, calling

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 attention to possible points of failure, and indicating that this is a solution for anyone.

German culture is also masculine (66).

Knowledge and status are prized in Germany. This indicates the successful Germans can afford

and maintain nice products. If there is need to fix a controller, they are willing to learn how. They

are also likely knowledgeable of the correct terminology for the parts of a controller. In Dylan’s

copy, his terminology was often incorrect (e.g. motherboard/circuit board)

Germans trend toward highly uncertainty avoidant (65).

The more possibilities for failure from lack of knowledge the more uncomfortable the typical

German feels. In the original document there is a need for easy to follow, direct instructions. If

there is any risk of failure, they will likely not use the document.

Germany has high long-term orientation (83).

Germany is described on Hofstede Insights as highly pragmatic. This makes the typical German

willing to “save and invest”, if they are giving the option to save money by fixing a controller, they

are likely to follow a how-to over purchasing a new controller.

Evaluation
The original document created by Dylan Gross uses several poor word choices. I analyzed this document

for a localization in Germany.

His language at times is ambiguous for a multicultural audience.

Some examples of these are:

• “sticky” (when describing the controller buttons)

• “Lift up” the batteries

• “peel the battery label”

There are a few instances of strong verbs.

Examples:

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 • “Pull the joysticks off of the controller.”

• “Slide the battery cover toward the top of the controller to remove it”

He also uses culturally-dependent terms.

An example of this is:

• “as if opening a laptop”

There are multiple uses of noun stacking.

Examples:

• “After you release these hooks, be careful as you separate the face plate from the back

of the controller.”

• “To avoid disconnecting the wires connected to the motherboard, lift the mother board

away from the plastic frame as if opening a laptop.”

Dylan also has a problem in one section with his use of pronouns.

Examples:

• “After you release these hooks, be careful as you separate the face plate from the back

of the controller.”

Revisions and Explanations

Original

“The Front Buttons on your Xbox Controller could become unresponsive or sticky. If this happens it could

be necessary to remove the Front Buttons to either replace or clean them.”

Revised

“The front buttons on your Xbox Controller may stop responding. If this is the case, you may need to

remove the front buttons to replace or clean them.”

In this example Dylan used the word, “sticky”, and then continues with, “if this happens. These

are examples of ineffective word choice. “Sticky” and “happens” are culturally-dependent words

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 and are also ambiguous in meaning. Using Google Translate, the original reads as: “The front

buttons on your Xbox Controller may stop responding or hang. In this case, you may need to

remove the front buttons to replace or clean them.” Though this is close in meaning the word

hang is also ambiguous. I removed the word sticky as it is similar enough in intention that it

appeared repetitive and was self-explained with the end result of cleaning the controller.

Original

“This guide will teach you how to access and replace the Front Buttons on your Xbox One Wireless

Controller Model 1708.”

Revised

“This guide explains how to access and replace the front buttons on your Xbox One Model 1708 Wireless

Controller.”

I changed the text from the original because “will teach you” is a “Who Does What” formula.

Dylan was to express the guide as a method to teach an individual how to fix a controller. Instead,

using a direct translation to German it relays this message: “This guide tells you how to access

and replace the front buttons on your Xbox One Model 1708 Wireless Controller." Unfortunately,

it loses the intention behind the words in the translation.

Original

“…a plastic opening tool…”

Revised

“…iFixit “opening tool”…”

There are several instances like this one where the instructions were unclear from a localized

view. By adding the iFixit brand and quotation marks it more closely connects to the tool list

established at the top of the guide.

Original

“Gently peel the battery label or punch a hole in the center of the sticker in the battery compartment to

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reveal the hidden screw.”

Revised

“To expose the hidden center screw, carefully pull off the label in the battery compartment.

Alternatively, punch a hole in the center of the label in the battery compartment to expose the hidden

screw. “

This was a more difficult translation. The words “peel” and “punch” are ambiguous and do not

translate well. I chose to keep “punch” though as when translated to German there was not any

evident meaning loss. To be more direct and lose the least information I split the directions into

two bullets.

The original version was also a “Who Does What” format. Removing the superfluous directions

allowed me to find the intent of the sentence. Adding the second line let me add an alternative

method, like the original had intended.

Conclusion
There are many more changes not mentioned in this analysis report. The focus of the revision was on the

topics outlined in the “Editing for Translation” assignment. Dylan, for the most part, kept his instructions

concise and specific. His images were well thought out and planned for the topic at hand I did not feel

culturally they needed to be changed for a translation for a German market.

Dylan struggled in keeping an even tone throughout, writing in circular sentences, and writing in an

ethnocentric method. He also uses some words inappropriately, like the word “motherboard” for “circuit

board”. The lack of knowledge of tools and materials would not translate well to a German audience and

would be the most damning language mistake of them all.

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