Recovery- Forever Growing

by Eilís Scully – Gateway member

I think after a period of mental distress or unwellness, many of us feel a pressure to recover.
It may be that we want to earn an income, to pay all of those bills coming through the door. It may be
for family members or friends who have looked after us so well. It may be me, putting pressure on
myself, asking myself questions like “Why am I like this”, “Why is this happening to me?” or “Why
can’t I be different?”

I think that the most valuable thing that was ever said to me by a psychiatrist one day was
“You’re recovered”. I nearly died of shock at the doctor saying that as I felt sluggish and down and
generally not my best self. But I became curious as to what he had said and his words stuck with me.
Why couldn’t I recover? Recovery to me at the time, about eight years ago now, meant not feeling the
depression and other unpleasant things. But when I realised that others believed in me and my power
to become myself again, I started to believe in myself – the most important person in my life.

Now what recovery means to me is very different. Once I took those tiny first few steps to try
and improve my life physically, mentally, emotionally and in my environment, recovery, for me, took
on a life of its own. Now that I know what is possible, my definition of recovery is dramatically
different. I now know that with the right steps, support, time and patience, I can not only live the life
I want, but excel at it. One step at a time. There are of course bad days and times now, but there is
much time, I hope, left in the future to live the life I always wanted to live. The possibilities are
blooming.