5-MIN PROMPTS TO GET YOU

31 DAILY KICKSTARTERS INTO THE WRITING HABIT

HOW TO WRITE WHAT TO WRITE WHERE TO SELL IT

The £30,000
STAY short story
HOME Danielle
McLaughlin on
START writing tales
that wow judges
WRITING
OPEN DOOR
And let your
imagination roam… New fiction ed
Lucy Crichton
GOING VIRAL explains why the
People’s Friend
How authors are is also the
still launching new writer’s friend
books while isolating

FREE ONLINE COURSES

Plus virtual book festivals and other writing resources
INSIDE Workshops, exercises and market news to
Issue #223 2020 • £3.95

help you write better fiction, non-fiction and poetry

Sunk by self-doubt A dearth of detail Magazine markets
The Mentor helps a Lorraine Mace shows Including where to
reader who’s worried a reader where his story sell travel features while
she’s not clever enough needs to be developed still in lockdown…
 WELCOME

Writers FORUM
BIG ASK 31 DAILY KICKSTARTERS INTO THE WRITING HABIT
5-MIN PROMPTS TO GET YOU

A WORD FROM 4 HEADLINES 32 AGONY AUNT

Newsfront The latest in Dear Della Writer Della
THE EDITOR HOW TO WRITE WHAT TO WRITE WHERE TO SELL IT
the world of writing Galton answers your queries
6 HOW I WRITE 33 TALES OF MY GURU
STAY
The £30,000 The £30,000 Hugh Scott’s mystery mentor

S
short story
o many people have been HOME Danielle
short story is breaking the rules
terribly affected by this
McLaughlin on
START writing tales
that wow judges Douglas McPherson 34 KICKSTARTERS
pandemic that my news
WRITING
And let your
OPEN DOOR shares prize-winning author 31 brilliant prompts to spark
New fiction ed
rather pales in comparison.
imagination roam…
Lucy Crichton
explains why the
Danielle McLaughlin’s advice: your creativity
GOING VIRAL
People’s Friend just persevere 36 NOVEL MARKETS
But advertising and print How authors are
still launching new
is also the
books while isolating
writer’s friend
10 WRITERS’ CIRCLE Publishing now
sales have plummeted due Your letters plus a reader’s Kathleen Whyman
to the necessary lockdown, FREE ONLINE COURSES
Plus virtual book festivals and other writing resources
First Draft challenge asks Keshini Naidoo
and so the publisher has INSIDE Workshops, exercises and market news to 12 GET STARTED and other experts how we
Issue #223 2020 • £3.95

reluctantly decided that

help you write better fiction, non-fiction and poetry
Sunk by self-doubt A dearth of detail Magazine markets
Prep to press Douglas can make our books inclusive
The Mentor helps a Lorraine Mace shows Including where to
McPherson looks at the 37 STORY COMPETITION
Writers’ Forum has to take a reader who’s worried
she’s not clever enough
a reader where his story
needs to be developed
sell travel features while
still in lockdown…

production process when This month’s winners

break until things return to selling an article of £550 in cash prizes
normal. And no one can say how long that will be. 14 MARKETING 40 INSPIRATION
It’s ironic that many of you will have more time on your Life in the time of Ideas Store Paula Williams
hands and would be keen to have the magazine in them. The corona… Kate Chapman meets a fellow member of
writers have worked so hard to fill this issue with articles chats to three authors facing the UK Crime Book Club
unforeseen challenges in 48 FICTION WORKSHOP
that are still useful while in isolation. So although money launching their books Don’t skimp on the
is tight all round, if you can, please consider taking out a 16 FICTION MARKET words Lorraine Mace shows
subscription and encouraging others to do so, too, which will Meet the ed a reader why less sometimes
help us to return sooner rather than later. Meanwhile, we People’s Friend fiction does need more
aim to share information and inspiration via Facebook. editor Lucy Crichton 50 POETRY COMPETITION
is hungry for new writers, Poetry judge Sue Butler
Stay home, keep writing and see you soon, Carl she tells Douglas McPherson introduces this month’s
18 CHILDREN’S BOOKS theme plus Experiment
Follow us on Facebook @WritersForumMagazine The library champion 52 POETRY COMP RESULTS
Buy an issue or subscription at selectmagazines.co.uk ‘My fondest early memories The winner of £100 for our
are of the library’ – Jake ‘Dreams’ competition
Writers’ Forum Subscription rates Hope talks books and book 54 WRITERS’ DIRECTORY
Select Publisher Services Ltd UK £9.50 for 3 issues, £38 for 12 awards with Anita Loughrey This month’s events, writing
PO Box 6337 EUROPE £49, ROW £56
20 FREELANCE MARKETS courses and helpful books
Bournemouth BH1 9EH SUBSCRIPTION MANAGER Chris Wigg
TEL 01202 586848 EMAIL chris@selectps.com The Magazine Scene 58 MOTIVATION
AD SALES MANAGER Wendy Kearns
Adam Carpenter’s update The Mentor Emily
PUBLISHER Tim Harris EMAIL advertising@writers-forum.com on industry news and online Cunningham helps a reader
EDITOR Carl Styants TEL 01392 466099 opportunities plus Diary who’s feeling inadequate
CHIEF SUB Wendy Reed
CIRCULATION MANAGER Tim Harris of a freelance hack 60 WRITING KNOW-HOW
Photography and artwork PRODUCTION MANAGER John Beare 22 FICTION MARKETS Research Secrets
IT MANAGER Vince Jones
With thanks to Shutterstock Inside Story Douglas Under the Stars
COVER IMAGE Tithi Luadthong PRINTED BY William Gibbons & Sons, McPherson shows how to author Matt Gaw
26 Planetary Road, Willenhall, W Mids
© Select Publisher Services Ltd. No part of shape a saleable magazine talks to Anita Loughrey about
DISTRIBUTED BY
this magazine may be reproduced without the
Seymour Ltd, 2 East Poultry Avenue,
romance with a twist ending night walks and moonbathing
written permission of the publisher.
London EC1A 9PT 24 WRITING EXERCISE plus Writing Outlets with
Writers’ Forum cannot accept responsibility for
DATA PROTECTION For information about
The importance of Janet Cameron
any unsolicited material. Writers’ Forum is fully
independent and its views are not necessarily those how we manage personal data, please see revision Barbara Dynes 62 COMPETITION CALENDAR
of any company mentioned herein. All copyrights https://www.selectmagazines.co.uk/privacy-policy sums up what to look for and Morgen Bailey talks to comp
and trademarks are recognised. Every effort has Registered in England. Registered Number why – and sets an exercise and entrant Fran Tracey
been made to identify the copyright holders of 5450559. Registered Office: Princecroft Willis 27 THE BUSINESS 65 SUBSCRIPTIONS
images. Writers’ Forum cannot accept responsibility LLP, Towngate House, 2-8 Parkstone Road, Poole
for inaccuracies or complaints arising from BH15 2PW. A catalogue record for this magazine
Becoming a writer Kath Get Writers’ Forum delivered
advertisements featured. is available British Library. ISSN 1467-2529 Kilburn rounds up the best direct to your door
free online courses 66 WHERE I WRITE
For submissions, visit www.writers-forum.com/contact.html 28 FLASH COMP Phil Barrington joins Ross
We reserve the right to edit any article or letter received. Last issue’s results on the Greenwood, ex-prison
Please note that Writers’ Forum does not carry book reviews. theme of ‘Scorn’ officer, in his quest for peace

Writers’FORUM #223 3
 HEADLINES

newsFRONT
The latest in the world of books, the internet and publishing – written by you

BBC opens doors

Scriptwriters, hurry! The
’
BBC has opened the doors of
its Writers’ Academy to all for
a limited period. Previously, only
professional screenwriters have
been allowed to apply, but the
BBC wishes to encourage writers
from different backgrounds and
bring their unheard voices to
the fore.
The Academy gives writers
the opportunity to learn from
some of the biggest names in
the industry and the chance to
develop their skills on the BBC’s
flagship shows (EastEnders,
Casualty, Holby City, Doctors and
River City), and the opportunity
to work with some of the UK’s
best television drama production
companies.
John Yorke, head of the
BBC Studios Writers’ Academy,
believes applying could help
people trapped in self-isolation
as it will provide them with an
outlet to express themselves
creatively. He said, ‘It’s a great
Smashwords hosts online
ebook conference
Isolation book sales surge
A sharp increase in book sales has been
’attributed to preparing for isolation during the
COVID-19 outbreak. Fiction sales rose by a third
prior to stay-at-home measures, while children’s
education shot up by 234 per cent to the third
highest level on record.
Nielsen Book, which keeps track of the figures,
said: ‘The sales data suggests that the UK population has indeed been preparing for long periods of
isolation. We’ve seen significant jumps in sales of puzzle books, adult colouring titles, home learning
titles for children and study guides, and we have seen a big increase in sales of paperback novels.’
However, physical purchases have now plummeted after the public were told only to shop for
essentials when necessary; chains such as Waterstones, who saw its online sales surge 400 per cent
week on week, have temporarily shut their doors, while WHSmith has closed 60 per cent of its shops.
Independent bookshops have had to close too – many have asked customers to pre-order books for
when they re-open rather than turn to ‘tax-avoiding’ online alternatives, or perhaps catch up on reading
unopened books or return to old favourites on their shelves. Sam Todd
way of ordering your mind and drama script (max 30 pages) and those who need or prefer to read
thoughts but also allows you to a one-page story idea for one digitally and should contribute to
cope with the wider anxieties in a of the dramas above (all saved an increase in literacy in the UK.’
way that could be very beneficial.’ as pdfs) via the E-Submissions The Royal National Institute
Applications opened on System. Details at www.bbc.co.uk/ of Blind People was disappointed
30 March and will close at noon writersroom/opportunities/ the tax break was not being
on Sunday 19 April. Writers will bbc-studios-writers-academy extended to audiobooks, saying
need to submit their CV, agent Emma De Vito it was ‘not right’ that people with
details (if applicable), an original sight loss who prefer this format
will continue to be charged 20 per
cent more for books.
Reading tax axed Sam Todd

Smashwords is hoping to alleviate ’theInChancellor

his Budget on 11 March,
of the Exchequer,
’
cabin fever for writers with a free Rishi Sunak, announced that
one-day online conference for anyone VAT on ebooks and online
who wants to learn how to self-publish newspapers, magazines and
ebooks. The event is on 18 April. journals will be abolished from
Smashwords says: ‘Whether you’re a 1 December. It follows various
first-time author or an experienced veteran, you’ll leave this campaigns, including a letter
one-day e-publishing intensive inspired with fresh ideas that will signed by more than 600 authors
help you take your publishing to the next level.’ presented to Parliament last
The conference is made up of four sessions: Future Publishing October, to scrap the 20 per
Trends, Introduction to Ebook Publishing, Sixteen Secrets of cent tax on digital publications,
Ebook Publishing Success and Book Launch Strategy. Although the even though the European Union
event is free, advance booking is essential at www.smashwords. allowed member states in 2018 to
com/authorday. The conference will run on California Pacific drop the charge and bring them
Daylight Time, from 10am to 3.45pm which is 6pm to 11.45pm into line with printed matter.
British Summer Time. Possibly a Saturday night in well spent! The Publishers’ Association
Sally Jenkins said the decision ‘will bring an end
to the illogical and unfair tax on
Women sweep awards
Women dominated literary
’awards in 2019, winning the
Booker Prize, the National Book
Awards for fiction and non-fiction
as well as the Pulitzer for general
non-fiction. While the Pulitzer
fiction prize did go to a man, the
other finalist was a woman.
Eight out of the top ten
bestselling books of the decade
were written by women.
Juliet Lapidos, senior editor at
The Atlantic, suggests this trend
could eventually transfer to other,
more lucrative areas of the arts,

4 Writers’FORUM #223 This month’s winner of a free subscription is Sam Todd.

 claiming that women filmmakers show did so when Helen Archer
‘can hope that Hollywood will was being controlled by her Au revoir…
eventually solve its problem by abusive husband in 2014. but not goodbye

doing once more what it’s done
so often before: adapt a literary
success for the screen.’
Emma Worthington
New flash story site
Writers Fran Tracey and
’
Julia Underwood have created a
Facebook page called ‘Uplifting
stories for crazy times’ following
a suggestion by a reader friend,
Sarah Green, that it would be
nice to have cheerful, free-to-
access flash fiction to read at the
moment. They are looking for
both authors and readers. There
is no payment, but you may add
a link to your book, blog, website
or author page. Search for the
page and message Fran or Julia on
Facebook for further details.
Depressing storylines
prove a turn-off
A study of The Archers has
’
found that fans are most likely to
The second biggest turn-off
was Ed Grundy’s split from his
wife Emma last year, while others
quit listening during the 2011
story about Nigel Pargetter’s
death. The latter is thought to
have been introduced to make
The Archers more like EastEnders.
Douglas McPherson
Children's book helps
explain coronavirus
An intensive care nurse
’at Southampton Children's
Hospital has written an online
picture book to help younger
readers who feel worried about
coronavirus.
Molly Watts, who had been
planning to self-publish some of
the stories and poems she had
written when the outbreak began
to intensify, wrote Dave the Dog
is Worried About Coronavirus after
a nightshift. The book tells the
story of an owl called Nurse
Dotty, who explains coronavirus
to Dave the Dog with tips on how
to avoid and prevent the spread
Tim Mossholder/Unsplash
As we were about to go
’to press our publisher made
the difficult decision to halt
production of the magazine
while so many shops are closed.
The vast majority of our sales are through newsagents, which have
mostly shut up shop, and supermarkets, which are now offering
a reduced range. The magazine WILL be back as soon as trading
conditions return to normal. Subscriptions will run for the full
number of issues paid for, with the term extended to cover the
intervening period. We have kept the competitions in this issue of
the magazine, and results and winners will be published in the next
print edition as usual. You can continue to pay for critiques from
fiction judge Lorraine Mace and poetry judge Sue Butler.
In the meantime we plan to share information and inspiration on
our Facebook page @WritersForumMagazine. Take care and stay
safe, all of you, and hope to see you online.
anxious and didn't understand were initially sceptical of the idea,
exactly what was going on but others have been keen, suggesting
that reading the story had helped it is a way of thinking about things
them feel better.’ Sam Todd from a different point of view.
It is hoped that the use of
poetry is a way of encouraging
a wider use of language and
Write that book! moving away from the clichés
and soundbite nature of today’s
BBC Radio 4’s Woman’s Hour journalistic writing.
’is helping you make 2020 the year
you finally get that book written.
Nicholas Taylor

stop listening to the radio drama
during depressing or traumatic
storylines. Dr Sarah Merry, a
research fellow at Coventry
University, says that the largest
number of fans to abandon the
Hugh Scott is a Whitbread-winning author. He writes and illustrates for The Park Free Press
of the disease.
Watts said: ‘Big changes to
children's routines and lots of
stories on the news can make it a
really scary time. I’ve had lots of
people tell me their children were
Collating writing tips from some
of the many authors who have
been on the programme, they OUP rids dictionary of
have compiled a list of sensible sexist terms
ideas to get you started and keep
you going. Jojo Moyes suggests
you ‘make time to write when ’PressThehasOxford University
replaced thousands
you can’ while Elizabeth Strout of its dictionary definitions that

ODD SPOT BY HUGH SCOTT

– who is a self-proclaimed late
bloomer, publishing her first book
when she was 43 – found that
embodying the person she was
trying to write as really helped.
So, if you’re struggling to get
started and need extra advice,
go to the Radio 4 Woman’s Hour
website and find the article ‘How
to Write that Book in 2020’.
Emma De Vito
Poetry making the news  labelled as derogatory because of
’TimesA column in the New York
has revealed that during
the morning news conference,
Derek now saw what his new publishers had meant when poetry is read to ‘inspire and
they assured him that lots of money would change hands. boost creativity’. While some
inadvertently perpetuate sexist
stereotypes. Definitions for
words such as ‘nagging’ have
been changed so that references
to nagging wives have been
removed. Other changes have
seen references to traditional
gender roles adapted to remove
prejudice.
The OUP’s Catherine Martin
said: ‘There was a lot about
women's appearance that wasn't
necessary to explain meanings.’
Words such as ‘frigid’ have been
their negative connotations. It is
hoped the changes will prevent
the definitions perpetuating
everyday sexism when people
look up words.
Nicholas Taylor

Share writing, book and publishing news on Facebook @WritersForumMagazine Writers’FORUM #223 5
 I realised
there was a
lot to learn, but
also that it could
be learned.That
was a turning
point for me

6 Writers’FORUM #223

THE £30,000
SHORT STORY
Douglas McPherson meets the winner of the world’s
richest short story prize, Danielle McLaughlin
anielle McLaughlin’s big tip
D to writers is to keep sending
your work to competitions and
magazines.
‘We’re going to get so many rejections
for every acceptance that we need to be
consistently and persistently sending our
work out,’ says the Irish short story writer.
‘If we’re not putting our stories out into
the world, then good things can’t happen
to them.’
Good things have certainly happened
to McLaughlin’s stories. In March last year,
she was awarded the $165,000 (£132,000)
Windham-Campbell Prize for Fiction
in recognition of her debut collection,
Dinosaurs on Other Planets. In September,
she netted £30,000 as winner of The Sunday
Times Audible Short Story Award.
‘It’s been an unbelievable, astonishing
year,’ says the former lawyer, who turned
to fiction 10 years ago when illness forced
her to give up her job at the age of 40. ‘It’s
not the kind of year you expect to have
when you start writing, especially when
you write short stories. It still hasn’t fully
sunk in yet.’
The big wins didn’t come without hard
work. McLaughlin has entered the Sunday
Times competition every year since 2012
and never previously reached the long list.
‘It’s definitely a case of perseverance,’
she says.
Her winning story, meanwhile, took two
years to complete.
‘There were a lot of different versions.
I tried a lot of different things with that
character,’ says the author.
The story, which first appeared in the
Faber anthology Being Various, is about
a man drawn into a family drama when
his elderly father begins a romantic
relationship with a neighbour. His sister,
who still lives with her father, believes the
neighbour is a gold-digger with her sights
on the house and pressures the reluctant
hero to try and break up the romance.
The title, A Partial List of the Saved, refers
to a visit to the Titanic Museum in Belfast
HOW I WRITE
where the climax takes place, although
that element came late in the story’s
development.
‘I saw on the wall of a pub a framed
newspaper clipping with the headline
A Partial List of the Saved.’ McLaughlin
recalls. ‘I was struck by the idea of who
decides when there’s a definitive list and
there’s no longer that bit of hope for the
missing.
‘I thought my character was a bit passive,
so I sent him off on a road trip and decided
on Belfast. The museum was a place I’d
visited myself a couple of years ago.’
McLaughlin has loved reading since
childhood, when she used to make up her
own fairy tales. Although she embarked on
a legal career, she sees a lot of similarities
between writing and law.
‘So much in law is about very specific
definitions of words, and being aware of
nuance and tone. And being aware of point
of view, because in law there are always
competing points of view – and that can
be like the characters in a story. A story
can change very much depending on who
gets to do the telling, and what facts are
brought to bear, and where we decide to
end the story.’
Her first published piece was an article
about the difficulty of finding childcare
that she submitted to the Irish Times.
‘I wrote it quickly one evening, out of a
sense of frustration at having gone through
seven au pairs in two years. To my surprise
and delight they got back to me pretty
much straightaway and said yes, we’d like
to publish this.
‘I know now I was very lucky and that
it’s not usually that easy to get accepted,
but I think it gave a sense of possibility
to the idea of writing more things and
putting them out into the world.’
Months later a rare reaction to medicine
forced her retirement from the legal world.
Having sold more articles about parenting,
Mclaughlin switched to short stories after
attending the Cork International Short
Story Festival and a series of workshops
Writers’FORUM #223 7
 HOW I WRITE
run by the Munster Literature Centre.
‘I realised there was a lot to learn, but
also that it could be learned. That was
a turning point for me, when I realised
that writing doesn’t just happen, and that
there aren’t these magical creatures called
writers who sit down and manage to put
perfectly ordered words on to a page.
There’s a lot of learning and slog. But it
was a breakthrough realising that, because
I knew I was prepared to put in the work
and time.’
Despite her background, the author
wasn’t drawn towards crime stories or
legal thrillers.
‘It could be that it was the human
struggles at the heart of the legal cases
that caught my attention more than the
courtroom dramas or the police work,’
she reflects.
‘Architects keep coming into my stories
and I don’t know why that is. Architecture
is not something that I’m very familiar
with, so it interests me. I have a writer
friend who is married to an architect and
she has no architects in her stories. So
maybe it has to do with stories being the
place where we explore these things that
we don’t know much about but would like
to find out about.’
McLaughlin’s first published short story,
Earthworms, appeared in the Irish literary
magazine Crannog.
‘It was an odd sort of story about
a woman who worked in a lab with
earthworms and at the same time was in
dispute with her sister,’ the writer recalls.
‘I think I liked the science going side by
side with the human emotions.’
Further stories were published in
another literary journal, The Stinging Fly,
which ultimately led to Mclaughlin’s
collection Dinosaurs on Other Planets, first
published in Ireland by Stinging Fly Press
and then in the UK and US by John Murray
and Random House.
‘When I had a couple of stories published
around 2012 and 2013, the editor asked if
I would be interested in working towards
a collection. It took another couple of years
before I had enough stories of a good
enough quality but in the meantime it was
great to have the support of a publisher
who was prepared to afford the time and
guidance to a writer starting out.’
The news that Dinosaurs had earned
McLaughlin the Windham-Campbell Prize
came out of the blue.
‘It’s not something you enter,’ she says.
‘You get nominated and you never find out
who nominated you. The judging panels
are also kept secret. You just get a call
telling you you’ve won.’
For McLaughlin, the $165,000 phone call
8 Writers’FORUM #223
came during a surprise trip to Copenhagen
that her family had arranged for her 50th
birthday.
‘It was a very nice birthday surprise,’
she marvels. ‘An extraordinary time.’
Her other wins include the William
Trevor/Elizabeth Bowen International
Short Story Competition, the From the
Well Short Story Competition, The
Willesden Herald International Short
Story Prize, The Merriman Short Story
Competition and the Dromineer Literary
Festival Short Story Competition.
Exposure
Just as sending stories to The Stinging Fly
led to her first book deal and to winning
the Windham-Campbell, entering
competitions can also lead to unforeseen
rewards, Mclaughlin says.
‘One of my biggest breakthroughs was
with a competition that I didn’t win but
was shortlisted for. The New Yorker read
the shortlist and my story Dinosaurs on
Other Planets ended up being published
in the magazine. When work is out there
people can notice it. They can’t notice it
unless you take that step and send it out.’
McLaughlin offers an insight into her
writing process in an article in the Irish
Times called Maurice or Diary of a Short
Story, which is linked to from her website.
The piece describes how one of her stories,
The Smell of Dead Flowers, evolved over
two years, more than 50 drafts and a few
title changes. During that time it was
shortlisted for the Bridport Prize, before
undergoing more rewrites, plot changes
and switches from third person to first. In
the end, the original character, Maurice,
was written out but went on to a different
story of his own.
‘My stories tend to start out as a big,
tangled soup of material,’ the author
explains. ‘Then they might take a particular
direction or they might split up into a
number of strands that end up going into
different stories further down the line.
‘I’ve made my peace with the fact that
I’m a very slow, messy writer. I know some
writers who can produce an excellent
short story in less than a week, but for
me it’s a case of persisting until it works
out. Sometimes that takes weeks and
sometimes it takes months. Sometimes it
takes years.’
Crucial to her process is feedback from
a writing group she formed with three
other women that she met at a workshop.
‘They tell me when it’s finished and
when I need to go back to the drawing
board,’ says Danielle.
Short stories are sometimes seen as the
poor relation of novels, but McLaughlin
says: ‘I think we’re fortunate that in
Ireland the short story is appreciated as
a thing in its own right. It’s not seen as a
practice run for a novel because they’re
two completely different forms.
‘Bookshops are good at giving space
to short stories here. Waterstones in Cork
always has fabulous displays of short story
collections, and also sells some short story
journals.
‘I think short stories can do some things
that novels can’t,’ McLaughlin continues.
‘I think they can challenge readers and
ask more of readers than a novel might.
Because the short story is asking the reader
to work with it for a shorter period of time,
we can ask the reader to come with us
into very strange and challenging places,
and maybe challenging structures that
wouldn’t necessarily work if we did it over
100,000 words.’
McLaughlin has, however, just finished
her first novel, A Retrospective, which is
due for publication in 2021, after nearly a
decade of work.
‘It began at a writing workshop in 2012
with the writing prompt of a piece of
broken crockery. I thought I was writing
a short story and for a number of years I
tried it from different angles and character
viewpoints. It never worked out as a short
story but over time it kind of merged with
some other ideas I was working on and
knitted together to become A Retrospective.
‘I hope I’ll be faster writing my second
novel,’ she smiles, ‘but who knows?’
• Visit daniellemclaughlin.ie
10 –12 July, 2020

STILL ON!
NOW FULLY Keynote speaker – Eoin Colfer,
VIRTUAL award-winning author of the Artemis Fowl series

Workshops, talks,
and one-to-one
appointments with
top literary agents

For emerging writers

– from inspiration to
publication

Six writing
competitions Keynote speaker – Lissa Evans,
bestselling author of adult and children’s novels

BOOK www.writersweekend.uk
NOW! WritersWkend WritersWkend

THE NIELSEN
ISBN STORE
Our online store enables you to purchase a range of
Nielsen Book services for independent publishers and
self-published authors:

● Buy your ISBNs and barcodes online

● Market your books using our digital ‘Search Inside’ tool
● Enrich your title records with descriptive content
● Look up UK print book sales data for any ISBN
● Purchase book research reports

To find out more visit: www.nielsenisbnstore.com

 READER LETTERS
Writers CIRCLE
Your news and views, writing tips and funny stories
A BIG HELP
Much of what Sullatober Dalton
says in his letter in issue #222
about the comfort found in
writing has become even more
relevant as we respond to the
coronavirus, getting used to
social distancing, self-isolating and
working from home.
I belong to a wonderful,
inclusive writing group called
Norwich Forum Writers. As
we’re no longer meeting in
person, we are encouraging
members to engage via our blog.
We also have an email address
where we can share pieces of
work for others to read or
review. Now is the time to catch
up on reading all of those books
that have been sitting on our
shelves, waiting for our attention,
or finding stories online.
The ability to be able to escape
into an imaginary world with
our writing and our reading
has never been more a more
welcome distraction. This ‘writing
joy’ will be an enormous help
in protecting our mental health
as we move into these new
dystopian times.
Gill Wilson, Norwich
NIGHT OWLS
I thoroughly enjoyed reading
‘Is there a best time to write?’
(The Mentor, #221). I am new to
writing but when I was studying
for my degree, I found I was
always at my best when studying
at night. I consider myself to
be a night owl in that respect. I
love how the world calms down
after a busy day, and this quiet
environment creates the perfect
atmosphere for me to connect
to my inner self for creativity and
inspiration.
10 Writers’FORUM #223
end your letters to mily at mentor riters forum.com
Emily Cunningham helps
you find the ay for ard com/night-owl-society).
ith your riting
THE
MENTOR droopy-lidded early birds.
Is there a best time of day and art collide (giorgialupi.com/famous-
writers-sleep-habit-and-productivity). The
to write?
I prefer to write in the evening but I’ve
KHDUG\RX·UHPRVWFUHDWLYHÀUVWWKLQJLQWKH
morning. Please don’t tell me I have to set awards.
my alarm even earlier than it is already.
Cathy, Rochester
anxieties, producing insights and resolving
journalling are well-established. And
Proximity to sleep,
[LIXLIV½VWXSV
success.
creative worm. last thing, is key to
Tips to take away
If you can’t beat them, join them, by
keeping a notepad by your bed to jot down
creativity
any ideas that come to you on waking.
Every book or article I have words to write I can still get lost transportation into the world
read on productivity or success in the adventure later in the day you are trying to create.
declares that early morning is the and be productive. I try to keep Here is a photo of some pages
time to work, so it’s comforting final editing for the mornings I have constructed. I find flicking
to hear that I’m not bat crazy when I’m sharpest, plus I always through these before writing
working at night and that there have a cut-off at night – I never helps puts me in the right mindset
are other night owls out there. read in bed. for my story.
Crystal Jenkins, The psychology of it still eludes Lorna Stewart, Marston
Bolton, Gtr Manchester me but it’s about tailoring your Moretaine, Beds
writing time so that it can be both
BIRD BRAINED a lark and a hoot.
Nick Stuart, Kent
PLANE SALE-ING
Emily Cunningham’s Kat Day’s article in issue #222
PRIZE piece on the best
LETTER time of day to write SCRAP VALUE about reselling articles gave me
an immediate feeling of déjà vu.
managed to put some
science to what we all seem to
I was enthused to start my own
inspiration scrapbook after
My published writing has mainly
been in the fairly specialised field
work out instinctively without reading the children’s author of Australian aviation history,
quite understanding why. interview with Holly Rivers in having had many articles in
What it made me realise is issue #221. What a splendid Australian aviation magazines.
that I could be – to borrow an idea to help capture and map In the past few years I have
analogy from the car industry –a your ideas and provide a visual sent some of those articles
hybrid. That’s not to say I am an to English aviation magazines
early riser with night vision who who have published them. I
can write all day, more that I’ve was actually paid more for the
discovered a system that allows reprints, purely because of
me to be both. circulation numbers. My best
If I am working on complex result was one article being
plots or precise detail, mornings published in three different UK
are when I can get into the zone magazines without any effort
best. But where there are lots of from me. Those second and third

WIN A YEAR’S SUBSCRIPTION!
The writer of the prize letter each month will win
a year’s subscription to the magazine. Please make
sure that you include your full name and address in
your email. Write to letters@writers-forum.com
successes came from the article
being seen in the first mag.
I have mastered the technique
of having every article sent to a
magazine being published: think
like the editor.
Neil Follett,
Victoria, Australia
NAME ’N’ SHAME
A few years ago I had a novel
professionally edited. My main
female character’s surname
began with S and the main male
character’s first name began
with S. I was told in no uncertain
terms that this was not allowed
as it would confuse the reader.
I have just finished a brilliant
book by a very well-known
author in which six of the
main characters and five minor
characters have names beginning
with M. Two of them are also
referred to as Ma and Mother.
And, yes, it is confusing. So,
why, oh why was this author
allowed to do it and not me?
Sour grapes? Guilty as charged!
Muriel Waldt, Houghton
Conquest, Beds
SHOW AND TELL
In his comments on Flash Fiction
Comp #220, where we had to
tell not show a story, the editor
said there had been a larger than
usual postbag. I wasn’t surprised.
If the debate this competition’s
theme provoked within my local
writers’ group (Horwich Writers’
Cauldron) is anything to go by,
what a writer does about the flow
of ‘show not tell’ advice, how they
interpret it, what it means, how
they can achieve it, etc, is a very
pertinent topic.
One result of the debate at
our group was that I wrote and
submitted A Night Two Remember,
which Carl was kind enough to
class as highly commended. In
creating that piece, it was the
things I couldn’t do that I noticed
most. In particular I had to use
reported speech when dialogue is
usually important in my writing. I
tend to use the way people speak
and their vocabulary as a major
means of conveying personality,
mood and motivation.
Similarly, I found that any ability
to be subtle and leave it to the
reader to infer motive and mood
from an action was very inhibited.
I found myself wandering into
the style I use for writing up the
minutes of our meetings (I hope I
avoided this).
We’ve scheduled another
session on ‘show not tell’. It’s a
topic that never fails to spark
engagement.
David Jackson,
Bolton, Gtr Manchester
TWO SIDES TO
EVERY STORY…
I have two adult daughters, both
high achievers academically but
worlds apart in their approach.
One is organised and systematic
in her methods. Her motto could
well be ‘be prepared’. The other,
and it has been the case ever
since she was at school, does
minimal revision, only cramming
as exams or assignments loom
large, although she still somehow
manages to retain the knowledge
down the line.
A plotter and a pantser? I used
to be the latter with my writing
and now fall somewhere between
the two. But I am amused that I
have examples of both in my own
family.
Natalie Kleinman,
London SE3
JUST FOR FUN
Oh dear, can you spot the 20 errors in this
‘first draft’ of Lucia Graves’ translation of
The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafón?
I still remember the day my fat her took me to the Cemetery
of Forgotten Books for the first time. It was the early Summer of
1945, and we walk through the streets of a Barcelona trapped
beneath ashen skies as dawn pored over Rambla de Santa Mónica
in a wreath of liquid copper.
‘Daniel you mustn’t tell anyone what you’re about to see
today,’ My father warned. ‘Not even you’re friend Tomás. No one.’
‘Not even Mummy.’
My father sighed, hiding behind the sad smile that followed
him like a shadow all through his life.
‘Of course you can tell her,’ he answered, heavyhearted. ‘We
keep no secrets from her. You can tell her everything.’
Shortly after the Civil War, an outbreak of Cholera had taken
my mother away. We buried her in Montjuïc on my forth birthday.
The only thing I can recall is that it rained all day and all night
and, that when I asked my father whether heaven was crying,
he could’nt bring himself to reply. Six years later my mothers’
absence remained in the air round us, a deafening silence that
I had not yet learned to stifle with words. My father and I lived
in a modest apartment on Calle Santa Ana, an stone’s throw
from the church square. The apartment was directly above the
book shop, a legacy from my grandfather, that specialized in
in rare collectors’ editions and secondhand book – an enchanted
bazaar, which my father hoped would one day be mine.
Sent in by Debi Savage, from Teynham, Kent, who wins £25
20 secondhand books (plural). (missing hyphen). 11 outbreak of
19 specialized in in (repeated word). (question mark). 10 heavy-hearted
18 above the bookshop (one word). even (new paragraph). 9 Mummy?
17 a stone’s throw (wrong article). your friend (wrong word). 8 ¶‘Not
16 air around us (wrong word). warned (lower case). 7 not even
mother’s absence (singular). (missing comma). 6 my father
(misplaced apostrophe). 15 my over (wrong word). 5 ‘Daniel, you
comma). 14 he couldn’t bring walked (past tense). 4 dawn poured
and all night, and that (misplaced 2 early summer (no cap). 3 we
birthday (wrong word). 13 all day 1 my father took (rogue space).
cholera (lower case). 12 my fourth Corrections:
Could you ruin a passage from a modern novel? Send your
£25 error-ridden First Draft (around 250 words), and the 20
solutions, to firstdraft@writers-forum.com Please note that entries
are accepted via email only. We pay £25 for the best published.
Writers’FORUM #223 11
 FIRST STEPS

GET STARTED
Prep to press
Part two of Douglas McPherson’s step-by-step guide
to selling an article

32 OCT OBE R 31 2019 meant asking why they wanted

to do that and how they hoped
F O C U S E ve – Riot G rrrl s of Wre stl ing to benefit from it.
Editor Nick, meanwhile,
had requested that I ask if the
‘It’s like theatre, panto and an popularity of Netflix wrestling
drama GLOW has had an
action movie all at the same time’ impact on audience numbers
An all-female company has signed wrestling’s first code of conduct with Equity, proving that thrills and for wrestling in the UK.
spills in the ring are as much about performance skills as sporting prowess, writes Douglas McPherson I used to jot my questions
on paper but these days I type
them into a computer file. The
DALE BRODIE
ne of the most electrifying events this writer has
ever witnessed involved a 40-stone behemoth
called Giant Haystacks. As the wild-haired
man-mountain furiously leaned over the top reason is that I can write them
rope of a wrestling ring and teetered precari
ously above the orchestra pit of Wimbledon in whatever order they occur
Theatre, the entire audience waved its fists and roared back at
his taunting. My mum, brandishing an umbrella in the stalls, to me while I’m researching. I
Was it sport or pantomime, fighting or chicanery? The only can then easily cut and paste
them into the most flowing
certainty was that neither the worlds of theatre nor sport would

Historically, the ‘boo-hiss’ world of professional wrestling has

always lurked on the shady fringes of entertainment, alongside order to be asked.
circus freak shows and fairground fortune-tellers, claiming to
Although it didn’t apply
In 1985, when renegade grappler Tony ‘Banger’ Walsh
revealed that the Saturday-afternoon bouts on ITV’s World of in this case, any potentially
Today, by contrast, a groundbreaking wrestling promotion
with an all-female cast is battling to establish it as a legitimate
controversial questions are
strand of performance art, and to gain its participants profes
sional recognition as actors and stunt people. In August, Eve
best saved for the end so that
– Riot Grrrls of Wrestling, which has around 40 wrestlers on
its books, signed wrestling’s first code of conduct with Equity.
a) your interviewee is warmed
“Wrestling is one of the most under-appreciated forms
of storytelling,” says Emily Read, a lifelong grapple fan who
up and well disposed towards
founded Eve with her husband Dann. “It’s like theatre, panto
you before you hit them with
“When you go to a wrestling show, you’re not watching a
wrestling show – you’re watching a live-action stunt show about
anything tricky, and b) you’ll
a wrestling show,” Dann continues. “The wrestlers aren’t
wrestlers – they’re highly skilled performers playing sporting
have enough material already
characters. They’re actors, stunt people and fight choreogra
phers. They ad-lib and there’s improv, but they’re following a in the can if they decide to
terminate the conversation!
ast month we looked at wrestling promoters, agreed your interviewee that you We’ll look at article structure

L how I pitched an article

about a group of female
wrestlers to theatrical
newspaper The Stage, and the
brief I received from features
to do a joint interview, with
them both on a speaker phone
at their end.
That was helpful, because
having two voices in an article
could write a comprehensive
profile without speaking to
them. Once you know their
story, you’ll know which
points would be best served by
next month, but for the time
being, suffice to say that if you
prepare thoroughly enough
and the interview goes well, an
article will largely write itself.
editor Nick Clark. will always make a more a quote and therefore which
My next step was to contact lively piece and it saved me questions you should ask. Submitting
the group, Eve – Riot Grrrls from having to arrange a Remember also your article’s Many publications will require
of Wrestling, via the email separate interview with, say, main angle and anything your you, the writer, to supply
address on their website and one of their wrestlers. editor has asked you to cover photos to illustrate your piece.
arrange a phone interview. In this instance, the piece Publicity pics can usually be
Most people with a product Preparation was hooked on a news item obtained free of charge from
to sell are happy to be The most important part of about Eve being the first any PR person who sets up an
interviewed as it gives them an interview lies in the prep. wrestling promotion to sign interview for you.
good publicity, and Emily and You should spend plenty of a code of conduct with the In this case, I asked the
Dann Read, husband-and-wife time finding out enough about actors’ union Equity. That Reads for images at the end of

12 Writers’FORUM #223
 It’s good to submit early.That way
an editor may turn to you when they
have a job to be done at short notice TAKE THE STEP
Lesson 1
Preparation is key to
the interview and they emailed and proofreading before the British Wrestling Association, a successful interview.
me a link to a Dropbox folder publication, both to correct which states on its website: “The Aim to find out
with a large cache of photos grammatical and typing errors former is an entertainment and
enough that you could
taken at their events. and to check facts. the latter a sport.”’
write a decent profile
For print, image files usually You can expect queries The following day, Nick
need to be at least 1mb in size, during this process and, as the had a query from the art without speaking to
so having checked that the pics article will soon be going to department. The Dropbox the person.
measured up, I forwarded the the printers, it’s important to folder had no pictures of my
interviewees, could I get one?
Lesson 2
link to Nick in the same email respond quickly.
that I filed my copy (which is In this case, Nick emailed: It was a shame I hadn’t You must always
magazine-speak for ‘submitted The subs have flagged up a spotted that omission among obtain pictures to go
my article’). quote: ‘Because wrestling has the dozens of action pics, so with your copy, either
Although I had a long no governing body…’ I’ve been I had to email the promoters from a PR person or
deadline, I sent my piece in pointed to the British Wrestling to get the required shot. your interviewee.
early, as soon as I’d written it. Association, which in turn Images should be at
That proved helpful to Nick seems to be under the purview Finally… least 1mb in size and
as another article he was of United World Wrestling. Was When your article is published,
large caches are best
planning had fallen through, the quote referring to no women’s read it carefully and compare
so he moved my piece forward wrestling governing body? Or it, line by line, with your sent via Dropbox or
to fill the vacant slot. something else? original to see what you can WeTransfer.
As a rule, it’s good to submit After a quick online check, learn from the editing process.
early to establish yourself as I pinged back: I think we need to Look out for:
Lesson 3
a quick writer. That way an amend the quote to ‘professional You can expect
editor may turn to you one day wrestling has no governing ■ Sentences re-worded more queries from the
when they have a job that needs body…’ We should perhaps also concisely. editorial team and/or
to be done at short notice. add the following clarification ■ Changes to suit a particular the art department,
under Emily’s quote: publication’s house style, ie and you’ll have to
Editing ‘Professional wrestling is twelve to 12. answer them promptly
After acceptance, your copy unconnected with competitive ■ Any additional info inserted.
as by that point the
will go through several Olympic-style wrestling and so
rounds of editing, sub-editing its performers are not protected by In this case, one of the
magazine will be close
quotes had mentioned the to going to press.
GLOW actresses Betty Gilpin
Homework
and Kate Nash. The sub had
TRICKS OF THE TRADE inserted, in brackets, the We’ve looked at
Douglas shares writing tips he’s learned through experience names of the characters they finding article ideas
play in the show. It was an and markets to sell
#64 The competition isn’t as strong as you think interesting bit of additional them to, so now put
info that I easily could have what you’ve learned
New writers are often reluctant to pitch ideas to magazines because looked up and inserted myself. into practice by
they think the competition is too strong. It’s certainly easy to get So that was a lesson learned pitching at least one
discouraged when your pitches are met with silence, as they often for next time.
idea to a magazine.
will be. But how many other writers are you actually up against? Don’t assume that changes
I’ve had editors say they hardly ever get pitches from writers not to your work mean you’ve
Let me know how
already writing for them. And while it’s true that I’ve sometimes screwed up, however. While you get on via
pitched a very ‘obvious’ idea and been told ‘a lot of people have sent we should always be striving getstarted@
this’, that doesn’t mean there won’t be times when you’re the only to improve, it’s also the case writers-forum.com
one who will have suggested a particular topic, especially if you have that when you write for
good specialist knowledge and pitch regularly. I recently spotted a magazines you become part • Start Writing
new slot in one of the broadsheets and contacted the editor to find of a team and everyone is Today by
out more about their requirements. She replied: ‘Please send ideas there to make the final Douglas
for this slot as we’re desperate for them!’ product better. McPherson is
In this case, I was gratified available as
■ If you have a question about getting started as a writer, upon publication when Nick an ebook to
please email Douglas at getstarted@writers-forum.com emailed to say how much he’d download from
enjoyed the piece. Amazon now

Writers’FORUM #223 13
 MARKETING
LIFE IN THE TIME
OF CORONA…
Kate Chapman chats to three authors whose book
launches have been affected by the lockdown and who
are having to find new ways to promote their work
t’s already become a cliché, but it’s
I true all the same: we’re living through
unprecedented times. The spread of
the coronavirus COVID-19 is changing
everything about the way we live and the
way we work. Every industry is facing
upheaval, including the publishing world
– and a raft of authors whose labours of
love are imminently due to be published.
But rather than attending glittering
launches, book tours, a slew of festivals
and other events, they’re proving what
a versatile bunch they are by coming up
with alternative ways to promote them.
Although we’re all being asked to
physically distance ourselves from each
other, staying connected has never been
more important, says Dr Pragya Agarwal,
a behavioural and data scientist and
freelance journalist. She is taking part in
a ‘stay at home’ literary festival among
other online promotions for her non-fiction
debut Sway, and is hoping to write more
features for magazines and newspapers
to help publicise her work during the
coronavirus pandemic.
‘It’s a difficult time for a lot of authors,
but I feel bad complaining about this
when of course there are so much bigger
Pragya Agarwal
14 Writers’FORUM #223
things to concern us,’ says Pragya. ‘A lot
of authors have been affected, but so many
months – if not years – of work have gone
into this book; it’s hard enough to break
into the publishing industry. It’s very
disappointing.
‘I had a whole series of promotions
planned – literary festivals, a launch in
London and other events. There were a
lot of things I was looking forward to,
especially going out and talking to people I spent months
who had bought my book, but now we
have to find other ways.’
isolated while writing,
Published on 2 April by Bloomsbury so it’s ironic that now
Sigma, Sway – Unravelling Unconscious Bias
is a non-fiction title aiming to uncover I can’t go out and talk
the science behind our unintentional
biases, using real stories underpinned by
to people about it
scientific theory.
‘Things are moving constantly,’ says ‘I spent months isolated while writing
Pragya. ‘Amazon has been suspending this, so it’s rather ironic that now I can’t go
delivery of non-essential items and out and talk to people about it. But there
Waterstones has closed, so for me, social are other ways, and I just want to help and
media is huge now. I feel bad posting support others too.’
about my book so much as it’s a delicate
time, but on the other hand, people are ‘It’s still important’
anxious and need more books to read. Writer Tim Lebbon is planning to focus
‘I’m considering a live launch, maybe on ebook sales in the coming weeks,
on Facebook Live, and I’m getting following the release of Eden – his eco
involved in a stay-at-home literary festival,
hosting a session about writing a non-
fiction pitch.
‘I’m trying to pitch more freelance
features related to the book, although at
the moment anything that’s not related
to the pandemic doesn’t feel terribly
relevant. I’m also hoping to speak
on Radio 4, although the logistics
of that keep changing. It’s all about
thinking of other ways to connect
with other authors and writers to
talk about books and other book
launches that are happening.
‘Working from home is difficult,
too, as I have children at home all Tim Lebbon
the time now, but we’re taking it in
turns to look after them.

thriller released on 7 April.
‘I’m trying to stay balanced but it’s a bit
of a weird time. Eden was out in the UK
for a month in ebook form before it was
published and my thoughts are to push
the ebook harder when the time comes,’
says Tim, who writes horror and thrillers
including The Silence, screened on Netflix.
‘I’m hoping my publisher Titan might be
minded to lower its price to help do this.
‘A lot of work went into writing and
promoting it. I was told a few weeks ago
there was going to be a Tube campaign
to promote it, which is quite a big thing,
but obviously with how things are
now, no one’s going to see it, which is
disappointing. I don’t know if it can be
delayed.’
Tim has been forced to cancel several
other promotional events, including
Stoker Con, a large horror convention held
in Scarborough, as well as his first ever
book tour.
‘This is my 44th book, but I’ve never
been on a book tour before. I was
supposed to visit five cities with US
author Christina Henry, but that’s all been
cancelled now.
‘It’s very disappointing but there are
other ways I can promote it online. I’ve
had a lot of good reviews, some from big-
name writers, and at this time people still
want to, still need to read books.
‘There’s a horror blogger called Jim
McLeod, who has a site called Ginger Nuts
of Horror, where he pushes the genre
really hard, and he’s running a pandemic
book launch for anyone with a book
coming out in the next few weeks. I’m
hoping to have a live launch through his
site along with a Q&A session.
‘It would be easy to sit back and not do
anything and just think that in the scheme
of things it’s not that important, but it is
important. I wouldn’t want to get further
down the line and wonder if I should
have done more. I do think some of this
additional online promotion could become
the new normal for writers.’
‘Everything has changed’
Children’s author Lindsay Galvin is
finding the whole situation disappointing
and frustrating on many levels. Her
second book Darwin’s Dragons is due to
be published by Chicken House Books
in May, but at the time of speaking to
Writers’ Forum it had not yet been printed,
although it was available for pre-order.
Lindsay says her launch party is off,
opportunities to sell foreign rights have
been scuppered due to the cancellation
of book fairs, while school visits and
festival appearances she was planning
have also been put on the back burner
indefinitely.
‘As far as I know, the book is still coming
out in May, but it’s really frustrating as
absolutely everything has changed,’ says
Lindsay.
‘First off, all the UK and overseas
book fairs have been cancelled – and my
publisher relies on these foreign sales. But
we’ll just have to see how it goes further
down the line.
‘I’d been preparing for school visits,
too, and was about to start booking some.
And there’ll be no launch party, either,
just something online. It’s all going to
have a massive impact.
‘But there also could be positive changes
as we learn how to use the online world
to be more connected. I use all the social
media platforms and, while there’s a
lot of support out there in the writing
community, there’s also quite an overload
at the moment, so I’m holding off doing
too much immediately.’
Lindsay’s book – a historical tale billed
as a cross between Robinson Crusoe and
How to Train Your Dragon – is aimed at the
upper middle-grade market (9-12 year
olds) and has many ties to the school
curriculum including links to Charles
Darwin, explorers and fossils.
‘School visits were the main thing and
of course they are also a big source of
my income,’ adds Lindsay, who is also a
teacher. ‘I’d cut my teaching hours down
knowing the book was coming out in May,
because of its huge curriculum link.
‘It’s still early days yet. I may be able
to do some Skype visits to those schools
still open for the children of key workers,
but obviously I wouldn’t feel comfortable
charging a fee in those circumstances as
what is happening is just terrible.’
As well as the impact on her unreleased
book, Lindsay, whose debut The Secret
Deep was published in August 2018, is
also finding the situation is impacting her
current work.
‘I was about to present another book to
my publisher, as they wanted another one
in a similar vein to Darwin’s Dragons, but
I’m just not able to settle to write it. It just
doesn’t feel relevant at the moment and
not what I want to be writing. It’s all very
up in the air as the situation is changing
so quickly.
‘I’m hoping to do some online resources
and Skype lessons relating to my first
book too,’ she adds. ‘All we can do is wait
and see.’
Lindsay Galvin
Writers’FORUM #223 15
 FICTION MARKET
MEET THE ED
Douglas McPherson meets Lucy Crichton, new fiction editor
of The People’s Friend, which is still open to all writers
he People’s Friend is
T the world’s longest-
running women’s
magazine. It’s also
Britain’s biggest buyer of
women’s magazine fiction.
Each week, the mag includes
seven short stories, while a
separate People’s Friend Special,
with 14 stories, comes out
every three weeks.
That means the Friend buys
600 stories a year, not counting
multi-part serials, of which
there are always two running
in each weekly issue, and a
bumper crop of stories in the
Annual.
The mag receives hundreds
of manuscripts each month,
but unlike some other titles,
which have restricted their
submissions to a pool of
regular writers, it has an open-
door policy for new talent.
Indeed, in January, one
issue showcased seven writers
making their Friend debut.
‘The reason for the new
writers issue was partly
because last year was our
150th anniversary,’ says new
fiction editor Lucy Crichton.
‘One of the things about the
People’s Friend from day one
was that it was open to all. It
encouraged men and women
from all backgrounds to write
in, and that’s something we‘re
continuing to do.
‘So to mark the beginning
of our 151st year we had all
new writers. And it was great,
because it was a mix of women
and men and completely
different stories, some
humorous and some more
thoughtful.’
Having grown up in her
parents’ newsagents, Crichton
has magazines in her blood.
She began her career with
16 Writers’FORUM #223
the Friend’s Dundee-based
publisher DC Thomson in the
late 1980s, when she worked
on the teenage titles Jackie and
Blue Jeans.
After a career break to
raise her family, she joined
the Friend’s fiction team two
years ago before taking over
as fiction editor from Shirley
Blair, who retired in February.
The fiction team has five
members, including Lucy,
and she explains the process
by which submissions are
assessed.
‘Each editor has their own
writers who send work to
them, and when a story
comes in from a previously
unpublished writer, it’s given
to one of the team.
‘If one of the editors likes
the story, they’ll put a critique
on it and pass it to me. If I
feel it has potential for the
magazine, it’s then passed to
the magazine’s editor, Angela
Gilchrist, who has final
approval.
‘It’s very much a team effort,
which is good, I think, because
fiction can often be a personal
thing. What appeals to one
person may not appeal to
another, so to give everyone
the best possible chance a
story is never read by only one
person.’
Readers first
The People’s Friend is open to
stories in all genres providing
they’re handled in a way
consistent with the gentle,
feel-good nature of the existing
content, says Lucy.
‘The key thing about the
People’s Friend is the reader,’
she says. ‘We have a strong
idea of who our reader is and
we always have them in mind
when picking stories. We stop
and think: It’s not about what
we’d like to read but what the
reader would like to read.’
One way the team gets
to know its readers is by
meeting them on mini-breaks
organised by the magazine.
‘For many, it’s clear that the
Friend is more than a magazine
to them. It’s part of the family
and a friend they can rely
on and trust. We have a very
warm relationship with the
readers and hopefully that
comes across in the fiction that
we choose for them.’
A common pitfall is to
assume that the magazine’s
generally older readership
wants only stories about
grandparents.
‘We have young romances,
mature romances and
characters of all ages in our
general stories. We also have
junior stories, from a child’s
viewpoint.
‘It’s important to say that
although the readers may be
older in age, they’re not old
in mindset. They’re all quite
active, interested in what’s
going on and interested in
reading.
‘Something that’s come
across at the holidays is how
active the readers are in their
own communities, maybe
through keep-fit groups or
churches. They’re very much
part of the community and
family is important to them
as well.’
Having remained a top
seller since 1869, the Friend has
evolved with the times, says
Lucy. ‘But it sticks to the core
values of decency, kindness,
friendship and warmth that
we’ve always had. For example,
I think our readers and writers
acknowledge that family life
has changed enormously over
the past 100 years, 50 years
and even 20 years, but they
still respect the family in all
its different forms.’
Lucy’s biggest tip for new
writers is a common one –
to read the magazine over a
couple of months, ‘just to get
the general tone and to have
a look at the type of language
and vocabulary that we use’.
The illustrations can be a
good guide when it comes to
tone, she adds.
Another useful hint is
that each story in the mag is
introduced by a standfirst that
typically includes words like
‘tender’, ‘touching’, ‘moving’,
‘amusing’ and ‘charming’ –
words that convey the mood
the team is looking for.
‘We would never include
anything frightening,
upsetting or shocking. We
wouldn’t have violence, bad
language and intimacy. We
would never feature a murder
in progress. We have murder
mysteries, but they’re always
focused on the solving of the

crime, never the murder itself.’
Although characters can
be divorced or single parents,
the process of divorce rarely
happens ‘on stage’ in the mag.
Online resources
The Friend’s website has an
extensive section devoted to
fiction writing. As well as the
submission guidelines, there
are blog posts on all aspects of
writing for the magazine.
There’s a list of each issue’s
contents to give you an idea
of what they’re currently
buying, while the Daily Serial
(published online) is a prime
example of the way People’s
Friend fiction is written.
Particularly useful are
regular writing prompts
consisting of a photograph
and some suggestions as to
the many different types of
story it might inspire.
‘Quite often writers send in
a story they say was inspired
by a particular prompt,’
says Lucy. There’s no need to
worry about everyone being
prompted to write the same
tale. ‘Everyone has their own
Lucy Crichton (right)
with former fiction
editor Shirley Blair
writing voice and no two
people are going to tell the
same story,’ she assures us.
Special lengths
The Friend’s standard story
lengths are 2000 and 3000 words.
They use around 300 of the
former and 200 of the latter
each year, but advise you to
keep an eye on the fiction ed’s
blog as there are times when
their current stock means they
are only looking for one of
those lengths.
The mag also prints one
1200-word story each week.
The People’s Friend Special
uses 1000, 1500, 2000, 2500,
3000 and 4000-word stories,
plus a long read of 10,000
words every other issue.
‘The specials have a slightly
younger readership,’ says
Lucy, ‘so stories can be slightly
more modern, adventurous
and edgy in tone, while still
retaining the Friend identity.’
Seasonal stories should be
submitted at least six months
in advance. But if you were
moved to write a Mother’s Day
story on Mother’s Day, you’re
advised to send it in now for
next year.
‘We look for seasonal stories
all year round, especially for
our annual,’ says Lucy. ‘It’s
actually helpful for us to have
them in advance, because
there’s more time for it to flow
from our desk to Angela and
back again. Stories also need
to be sent out for illustration,
which takes time. So the sooner
we have them the better.’
Serials
Every issue of the Friend
includes two ongoing serials,
one contemporary and one
historical.
‘We’re definitely looking
for serial writers,’ says Lucy.
‘Serials start at two instalments,
and I think the record was 20.
Most have five or six parts.’
Unlike short stories, which
are submitted on spec,
serial writers should begin
by sending a synopsis and
opening pages. Once the first
instalment has been accepted,
the writer and their editor
will discuss the ongoing story,
with each instalment approved
before the next is written.
‘There’s a time commitment
with serials,’ says Lucy, ‘but
it’s not a scary process because
there’s support and guidance
the whole way. At no stage
would you be unsure of what
you were being asked to do.’
Pay
New writers to the magazine
are paid £80 per story, rising to
£95 after six acceptances and
£110 after 12. Serials pay £150
per instalment.
Feedback
The Friend is well known for
giving encouraging feedback,
even when rejecting stories.
In many instances, the fiction
team will ask for changes to a
story that’s ‘almost there’.
‘We ask for rewrites all the
time and it’s never a criticism,’
Lucy says. ‘Generally, it’s
just tweaks here and there.
It may be there’s not enough
characterisation or the plot
needs to be a little stronger.
‘Sometimes it can be a bit
SUBMISSION
GUIDELINES
■ Stories must be sent
by post only – typed,
double-spaced on one side of
numbered A4 pages. During
the lockdown previously
published writers can
send stories via email.
■ Use double quotes, with
no paragraph indents.
■ Include a cover sheet with
the title, wordcount, your
name, address and email.
■ Paperclip the pages and
send flat in an A4 envelope.
■ For seasonal stories, write
the season on the envelope.
■ Submissions will only be
returned if you include an sae
or international reply coupon.
■ Allow up to 16 weeks for
a response.
■ Send submissions to: The
Fiction Team, The People’s
Friend, DC Thomson & Co
Ltd, 2 Albert Square, Dundee
DD1 9QJ.
back and forth, with further
changes asked for, but that’s
completely normal. It’s just
about getting the best possible
story that we can put forward
for publication.
In general, she adds, it’s a
very open office. ‘If anyone has
a question, then please do get
in touch.’
Lucy’s final advice to
aspiring People’s Friend writers
is: ‘Just try it. If you’re not
successful, it’s no big worry.
We reply to everyone with a bit
of guidance on how they can
move forward.’
Writers’FORUM #223 17
 CHILDREN’S BOOKS

WRITING4CHILDREN
THE LIBRARY CHAMPION Jake Hope tells Anita Loughrey about the
importance of children’s books, libraries and children’s book awards

tories play such a key

S role in shaping both

who we are and the way
we see the world. This
is both exciting and hugely
powerful. Some of my fondest
early childhood memories are
of being taken to the library
with my mum where I’d hear
stories read aloud by the
authors and the librarians, as
well as having the opportunity
to browse different books. It
was a hugely empowering and
exciting way to discover one’s
own tastes.
At university I studied a very
traditional literature course;
the first seminar was based
around Russian Formalism. It
reduced reading to a series of
tick-boxes and leached the life
from it. I became increasingly
interested in how what we read
connects with us and began
reading through a collection
of children’s literature in the
university library.
I immersed myself in them,
exploring different themes and
styles of writing, becoming
more and more certain that this
was the field I wanted to work
in and that I wanted to be able
to do so without commercial
interest. This brought me
back to my early childhood
experiences in libraries and I
knew I wanted to give back to
these incredible institutions
where one can access almost
every book every printed.
With around 10,000
children’s books published
every year, navigating through
these to find the right book
for the right child at the right
time can be a real challenge.
Libraries help by offering
expert guidance, providing
reading groups, schemes to
encourage wider reading
and to make reading social

18 Writers’FORUM #223
PICTURE BOOKS STORY BOOKS EASY READERS CHAPTER BOOKS MIDDLE GRADE YOUNG ADULT
EASY READERS CHAPTER BOOKS MIDDLE GRADE YOUNG ADULT PICTURE BOOKS STORY BOOKS
with
children’s author
Anita Loughrey
and creative. With increasing
demands on young people’s
time, reading has to be
framed in a way that makes it
responsive and relevant and
librarians are experts at this.
Libraries can provide a
safe and neutral space where
this can happen and where
individuals can explore their
own tastes in a cost-free,
risk-free environment. It is
no exaggeration to say that
libraries grow the readers of
the future, and as children’s
book writers and illustrators
you make this possible.
Youth Libraries Group
The Youth Libraries Group
is all about connections. We
are one of the special interest
groups of CILIP (the library
and information association)
and have over 1500 members.
The membership is comprised
of librarians working with
children and young people in
public libraries, school libraries
and for school library services
– these are organisations who
tailor collections of books to
meet curriculum needs and
who work to provide support
and advice on reading for
pleasure and library provision
to schools.
The Youth Libraries Group is
an extraordinary collective of
committed and knowledgeable
experts who share a unique
passion for reading and for
library provision for children
and young people. The
connections the group have
means we are able to support
through giving advice on what
has been published in the past
and present, providing access
to groups of young readers
who can often test manuscripts
or provide insight into their
reading tastes. We can also
support authors and illustrators
through organising events,
promotions and competitions
to bring greater focus and
profile to creators.
Book awards
Children’s book awards play
a role in helping to make sure
that certain types of book
do not go unrecognised.
Humorous writing, for
example, does not always get
the most recognition through
awards, though funny books
play such an important role
in reading for pleasure.
Awards like the Roald Dahl
Funny Prize, as was, and the
Laugh Out Loud awards,
the LOLLIES, help to make
sure these titles don’t get
overlooked.
Over the course of my
career I’ve been lucky enough
to be involved with a large
number of book awards. I have
co-ordinated and chaired the
Lancashire Book of the Year
Award, the oldest regional
book award and one of the few
prizes where young people
are responsible for all of the
judging, selecting their own
shortlist as well as choosing the
overall winner. I’ve been a jury
member on international prizes
like the Bologna Ragazzi award
for illustration and the Little
Hakka illustration awards.
I have judged the Blue Peter
Book Awards, the Costa, the
Branford Boase, the Diverse
Voices, the CILIP Carnegie
and Kate Greenaway Medals
(whose judging panel I’ve
also chaired), the Macmillan
Illustration Prize and the
STEAM prize and am currently
judging Oscar’s Book Prize
and the Klaus Flugge award. I
have also helped to set up the
BookTrust Storytime prize.
Having such a populous award
landscape enables different
types of books to gain focus
and creates jumping-on points
for readers with different
abilities and tastes. Authors
should make themselves
familiar with these awards and
the criteria for judging them.
For example, the Carnegie
and Kate Greenaway medals
are unique in that they are
wholly judged by librarians.
To nominate a book for an
award a librarian has to think
your work outstanding and on
the basis of that passion will
put your name forward. It is
very important therefore that
authors and illustrators make
sure their books are known
by librarians.
The Costa Awards are
different: submissions are
made by publishers and entry
details and forms are available
via the Booksellers Association.
Book awards play a huge
role in helping to stimulate
people to read more, to read
more widely and to discuss
and debate the books they are
reading and the impact that
these make.
The Carnegie and Kate
Greenaway awards were
established to help lobby for
better quality children’s books.
Over the years the way they
are organised has been honed,
with the introduction of a
judging panel, the opening
up of the award so that medal
winners can win twice, and to
allow the inclusion of writing
from other countries and
translation and work by dual
creators. It feels important that
awards remain responsive to
the culture and society that
they exist within.
A large range of books are
published now, but the awards
still play a lobbying role. One
of the largest areas of focus at
the moment is in encouraging
diversity and inclusion, helping
to make sure that the doors
of reading are wide open and
inviting for all.
A great story has something
to say to all readers regardless
of age. There are lines in the
preamble for the Carnegie
Medal which talk about
‘vicarious experiences’ to be
lived by the reader, experiences
that last. A great story seeds
ideas and emotions that we
readers continue considering
and feeling long after the final
pages are finished. Italian
author Italo Calvino once
wrote: ‘A classic is a book that
has never finished saying what
it has to say.’
People visiting bookshops
and libraries can easily feel
overwhelmed by the huge
range of choice available
and it is easy to feel under-
confident about which book
might suit which person best
at which point in their lives.
Book awards can help to
build awareness and boost
confidence. In spite of the value
of awards, it is important not
to downplay the fact that every
time a reader picks up a book
and connects with it, this is the
biggest win of all.
The present is not an easy
time either for libraries or
for authors and illustrators.
Challenging times can
present real opportunities for
innovation and imagination,
however, and by working
together and creating critical
mass we can support one
another and build new
opportunities. With our
combined skills and knowledge
we can experiment and excite
new generations of readers.
• See www.jakehope.org
Writers’FORUM #223 19
 FREELANCE MARKETS
THE MAGAZINE SCENE
Adam Carpenter gives a round-up of launches, trends and other magazine news
Changing focus
London listings guide Time Out
has changed its name to Time
In, and, adapting to the sudden
redundancy of its print version,
has gone digital-only, as has
women’s lifestyle magazine Stylist.
It’s a good time to shift your
thinking in terms of the type of
features that may now appeal.
For Time Out/In, the focus
will be on the different ways
musicians and theatres are
bringing the live experience into
your home over social platforms.
And you don’t need an expensive
ticket to see any of these. There
will also be lesser-known artists
and performers that deserve to
be seen by a wider audience.
As for Stylist, think about which
temporary changes may become
the new normal. Look out for
stories of people whose lives are
changing for the better due to
the enforced isolation and how
they have already made positive
life changes that will impact their
careers and relationships.
Above all, stay positive – no
commissioner is going to jump on
anything that projects doom and
gloom for the sake of it.
Calling old clubbers
Once the domain of the young,
dance music is enjoyed by all ages
these days and it isn’t unusual for
the middle-aged generation to
frequent gigs by Pete Tong, Clean
Bandit or Stormzy.
With this in mind, you might
wish to consider pitching ideas
20 Writers’FORUM #223
to DJ Mag. Here are a few
pointers…
■  The team are actively seeking
new writers to add to their pool
of freelances and there are a
variety of sections to consider,
most of which involve gaining
access to a particular artist.
Don’t be put off by this. Instead,
try the Get To Know slot – a
500-word feature on a newcomer
to the scene who may welcome
an approach from you.
Or how about the longer
1800-word regular feature,
Game Changer, which is an
artist’s reflection on a classic
track and how it affected their
career, the development of the
genre and the impact on the
dance scene overall. This would
require an interview with the
track’s producer or writer but
sometimes it’s not too difficult
finding a contact email via their
own website, and you will be
surprised how many would
welcome the opportunity to talk
in depth about their work.
In both cases, make sure you
can get access to the artist first
before approaching the team.
■  Composite features are
trending this year so rather than
focus on one artist, develop
an idea that shines a spotlight
on particular genres, cities and
micro-scenes.
Features editor Lauren Martin
explains: ‘This can be a focus on
an emerging sound, a reportage
deep-dive into a subject
surrounding dance music, culture
and technology, or an opinion
piece on a timely – and potentially
divisive – talking point.’
■  Go easy if you’re thinking of
pitching an artist for a cover story
and instead consider a softer
approach.
Lauren says: ‘We do not
accept pitches from freelancers
for DJ Mag cover stories. The
artists are chosen in-house and
then commissioned out to our
regular feature writers. However,
if you have experience in writing
long-form profiles and are
interested in writing a cover
story, please email with a short
paragraph about your work, with
links to your profile writing, and
we can talk.’
■  You don’t have to take the
subject matter completely
seriously. Lauren is also album
reviews editor and says: ‘If you
can write about dance music in a
humorous way, which critiques
the culture fairly but playfully,
we’d like to hear from you.’
Visit: www.djmag.com
Travel possible
You’d have thought travel mags
wouldn’t be commissioning
anything, uncertain of how things
will unfold over the next few
months. Not so with Horizons,
who we featured in this column
a couple of months ago. Although
they won’t need as many features,
they are ramping up commissions
for their online guides.
Founder Matthew Barker has
tweeted asking for hiking/walking
guides in the Balkans and guides
to places in Japan beyond the
cities, but presuming these will
have been filled by the time you
read this, it’s worth mining your
own travel experiences for places
that may not have been covered
in a time when no one can visit.
To be among the first to hear
about further opportunities, join
the contributors’ mailing list by
visiting: https://horizonguides.com/
journalists#join
Euro vision
As communities come together
to help one another, it seems
appropriate to consider ideas
for the magazine Are We Europe,
which is a collective of over
450 contributors across the
continent. The aim is to explore
a different theme each issue that
reveals something about what it
means to be a European and how
Europe interacts with the rest of
the world.
■  The main criteria is to dig out
European stories that aren’t being
told elsewhere. The guidelines
say: ‘We’re not interested in hard
news, but original and well-
researched background stories that
shed light on the most important
issues in Europe today.’
■  Recent features have included
a study of Luxembourg becoming
the first country to pioneer free
public transport and a piece about
four unofficial languages around
Europe and what they mean to
their speakers’ identity.
■  The editorial team were
appealing for pitches in two
specific areas recently. One was
the music and culture section,

where the aim is to introduce
the reader to new artists or
musical traditions. Freelance
commissioner Inbar Preiss
says: ‘We encourage personal
experiences and storytelling in
these articles’ and adds that the
appeal is part of a wider project
to display Europe’s musical and
cultural diversity.
The other area was, needless
to say, the current COVID-19
situation, titled: The silver lining:
solidarity in a time of crisis. The
team is looking to ‘showcase the
people, places and politics that
are taking advantage of this crisis
to build a better future for us all.’
Submissions for this are invited
until 29 April but if this is too
soon, future issues are planned
on Sport and also Climate.
The magazine is beautifully
illustrated and the writing is ‘filled
with intricately woven sentences’
according to the guidelines. So
be sure to write to style, telling a
story and painting pictures instead
of reeling off facts and quotes.
Visit: www.areweeurope.com
Armchair critic
Why not turn your increased
TV viewing time into a part-time
career? With ever more content
put out on Netflix, Now TV,
Amazon Prime, Apple TV and
Disney Plus, there are numerous
sites and magazines out there in
need of reviewers.
GRV Media runs a number of
sites such as Reality Titbit and
is actively seeking freelancers to
cover reality TV and also people
to review the shows that ‘drop’
online at the weekend. If you
enjoy anime or Korean dramas,
there’s a niche for you too.
There are many other places
that could be interested in your
reviews, especially if you have
chanced on something that a
quick internet search will show
that few others have noticed.
Alternatively why not use your
extra time to set up your own
TV review blog which will impress
any commissioning editor and
make it easier for them to see
what you can do?
Hyperlocal help
At a time when community
journalism can come into its
own, a lot of the hyperlocal
publications that have been
springing up over the last few
years – and have been celebrated
in this column – are suddenly
under threat, and considerably
more vulnerable than the bigger
organisations which closed the
local titles they sought to replace.
Emma Meese, director of
the Independent Community
News Network (ICNN) told
journalism.co.uk: ‘Because
advertising has disappeared
overnight, their main revenue
has disappeared overnight.
If nothing happens, these
independent publishers will get
squeezed out first.’
On a more practical level,
when the lockdown became law,
journalists working on these
small publications didn’t have the
necessary identification to class
them as key workers and some
members have reported being
ordered home when they have
genuinely been out reporting.
More recognition of their worth,
given they often provide the sole
source of local news to older
members of the community,
is being sought from the
Government, as well as financial
support, but whether it is seen
as enough of a priority is sadly
doubtful.
It’s more important than ever
to support local journalism,
whether by providing ready-to-
use content (especially if you’ve
been undertaking essential jobs in
lockdown) or simply by continuing
to buy their publications.
THIS WRITING LIFE
MAKING IT UP
ometimes I think editors have me filed under Emergency
S Services. Last-minute interview needed by yesterday?
Call Emergency Hack! Last issue I told you how Mrs
Broadsheet replied to a pitch I’d sent more than a year
before. It was an interview with the elderly widow of a famous
person to mark the 50th anniversary of his death. At the time,
Mrs Broadsheet hadn‘t felt the half-century worth marking, but
with the 51st anniversary looming – and what self-respecting
newspaper misses a 51st anniversary! – she’d decided it was the
perfect story to fill a last-minute gap in the glossy supplement.
Only problem was, she emailed me Wednesday and wanted
the copy by Friday. Not only that, but when I’d interviewed
the reclusive widow for another mag last year, it had taken
weeks just to do an email interview. The reason editors call me,
though, is because I never turn down a buck. So I phoned the
PR and asked if an interview was possible.
‘No problem!’ he declared. But he’d said exactly that last
year – before a month of to-ing and fro-ing. So I emailed Mrs
Broadsheet back: No problem! But can we stretch the deadline until
after the weekend?
Monday, then. But I absolutely need copy by Tuesday morning
because we’re going to press and we’ve no back-up plan for that slot.
No pressure to deliver, then – just a blank page in the
magazine if I didn’t!
By Friday, Mrs Broadsheet wanted to know how I was getting
on, but Mrs Widow had taken to her bed and the PR had got no
further than leaving messages with her maid.
On Saturday, the PR suggested I email just my most important
questions. He’d try phoning them through to Mrs Widow and
writing down her answers. It wasn’t ideal, as I was supposed to
be writing a first-person piece in her words. I had some material
from my previous interview, though, and was sure I could
cobble something together.
‘Have you got her yet?’ Mrs Broadsheet asked on Monday,
but Mrs Widow hadn’t been well enough to even answer the
email questions. By that point, Mrs Broadsheet was in such a
panic that she’d almost taken to her bed herself. So we decided
I would have to ghostwrite the whole piece from research. The
PR would email it to the maid, who would read it to Mrs Widow
in the hope that she’d nod her approval.
Because she was nine hours behind in California, none of
that would happen until almost midnight. So I breathed a sigh
of relief when word came back that not only could we use the
piece but: ‘You wrote it exactly the way I talk!’
Writers’FORUM #223 21
 FICTION MARKET
INSIDESTORY
Douglas McPherson reveals the recipe for
a hospital romance with a twist
ccording to Stephen
A King, people enjoy
reading about work.
I guess the reason is
that some jobs are easier read
than done. But a well-realised
workplace setting can give
a short story an extra selling
point.
Like exotic foreign locations,
a peek into a working world
unlike the reader’s own will
take them an extra step away
from their everyday life and
add another layer of intrigue
to an otherwise simple plot.
So, rather than see your
day job as a hindrance to
your writing, ask yourself
if you could use your inside
knowledge of a particular
trade or business to enhance
your next tale.
Consider any past
occupations, however short-
lived. That awful part-time
job you had as a student may
be something you would
prefer to forget but, viewed
from the safe distance of time,
could provide a quirky setting
for the mishaps of a comic
character.
It doesn’t matter if your
experience of a particular
working environment is
decades out of date, because
you can simply set your tale
in that era. Nostalgic stories
set in the ’60s, ’70s and ’80s
are popular with the women’s
weeklies, so if you have an
interesting workplace setting
plus some evocative period
atmosphere, you’ll have two
strong selling points before
you begin.
Starter
Once you’ve mined your
own CV, consider the jobs of
22 Writers’FORUM #223
The barrier that separates hero
and heroine is the driving force of
any romance
friends and family. People
like chatting about their
past careers, and you don’t
need a huge amount of detail
in a short story, so a quick
conversation will often yield
all you need to give your
reader a sense of being there,
even if you’ve never been
there yourself. You can check
back with your source later for
any plot-specific details that
you need to know as you’re
writing.
Magazine and newspaper
profiles of people in various
trades can give you a good
starting point, too. I once
wrote a story for the My
Weekly annual about the trials
of a female lorry driver after
reading a letter by one in
Truck and Driver. The other
features in the mag gave me
all the background details and
slang I needed to construct a
roadworthy tale.
Main course
The inspiration for my short
story Don’t Tell Matron came
from a chance conversation
with my partner about her
time working in a hospital’s
staff canteen.
Sensing the potential for a
story, I quizzed her about the
daily routine: what time they
started, what time the chefs
brought down the food from
the kitchen above the dining
room etc. Also, I asked her for
details of some of the people
who worked there and any
funny happenings.
Later, I wrote a timeline of
the canteen’s working day,
from 7am to 4pm, and realised
that if I pinned my scenes and
plot points to the events on
the timetable, I would have a
ready-made structure.
But what could the story be?
Medical romances are a
hugely popular genre. It’s
usually a romance between
doctor and nurse, so for
something a little different,
how about a romance between
a doctor and one of the
catering staff?
That suggested an upstairs/
downstairs romance in which
the conflict that keeps the
characters apart is the gulf
between their social statuses.
The barrier that separates
hero and heroine is the driving
force of any romance. Like
the mystery in a crime novel,
it has to appear increasingly
insurmountable so that we
read on, tensely wondering
how the heroine will ever
overcome it.
My job in Don‘t Tell Matron,
then, was twofold. First, I had
to show that Katie, the canteen
waitress, was attracted to
James, the doctor. Second, I
had to make it believable that
her status as a humble caterer
would keep them apart.
To show her attraction, I
used each juncture of her daily
routine to put him at the centre
of her thoughts:
■  When she clocks on for
work, she looks around hoping
for a glimpse of him, but he’s
not to be seen.
■  When the canteen opens for
breakfast, she hopes he’ll show
up, but he doesn’t.
■  He comes in at lunchtime,
but she can’t speak to him,
except to take his order,
because he’s dining with the
matron.
My other task was to make
their differing social status a
credible obstacle to them ever
getting together.
To that end, I set the story
in the 1970s, when the classes
were more divided than they
are today, especially in the
workplace.
I made clear that, in the
canteen, the different grades
of workers – porters, nurses
and consultants – kept strictly
to their own groups and that
Katie, as a humble waitress,
displays a strong sense of
deference towards the doctors
and senior staff.
I also threw in a subplot in
which Nino, the Italian chef,
is going out with a nurse. Their
rank-crossing relationship
is a source of intense gossip
and disapproval among the
other staff, including Katie’s
co-worker, Mo.
Not wishing to be the subject
of similar talk, Katie keeps
her feelings for James a closely
guarded secret from her
colleagues.
To add to her own sense of
social unsuitability, I made her
a divorcee with a young child.
The impression I wanted to
give was that her crush on the
suave doctor was entirely in
 32

A nurse has a secret in this romantic vending cabinet that served

the night workers.
short story by Julia Douglas. Most of the glass doors
had been opened with the
aspect of it, saying: ‘The little
drop of a coin, but a few
points of etiquette reminded me

Set in
compartments remained of the staff canteen when I was a
closed as always,
containing plastic trays of Saturday girl at Littlewoods in
the sausage and mash, rissoles
and beef stroganoff.
Each plate was covered
the ’70s.’
To my dismay, though, she
1970s with cling-film, ready to be
heated in the microwave sent my carefully made dish
oven next to the cabinet.
Katie used her master back to the kitchen with a
key to transfer the leftover
meals to a fridge in the
couple of complaints.
preparation area. First, although she liked the
She didn’t earn much,
but one of the perks of the twist ending, she felt it wasn’t
job was that she and her
colleagues were allowed to sufficiently foreshadowed by
take home any leftovers. enough chemistry between
It was better than
throwing the unwanted Katie and the doc. She wanted
food in the pig bin and
meant that she, her ‘a few sparkly looks’ between
parents and her little son,
Joe, always ate well. them to let us know it was a

Don’t Tell Matron

Katie had just laid out romance and not just a day in
tablecloths, place mats and
cutlery when a clanking and the life of a caterer.
rattling heralded the arrival
of the lift. More serious than that, the
“Brrrrr-eakfast is served!”
Nino sang in an operatic
boss in Shirley was offended
tenor as he slammed open by the petty pilfering of Katie
He was a doctor; she was a canteen assistant. Could the lift’s cage-like door and
pushed a trolley of tin trays and her colleague Mo, who
there ever be anything between them? to the serving cabinets.
keep illicitly squirreling away
“Mmmm, lovely!”

A
COUPLE of
minutes before
seven a.m., Katie
hurried through
the entrance of
St Herbert’s Hospital,
where she’d been born
24 years before.
As always, she scanned
the large reception hall,
hoping for a glimpse of
James to lift her spirits, but
there was no sign of him.
It being early, there were
just a few souls huddled on
the rows of dark green
metal-and-canvas chairs in
the waiting area.
A man in dressing-gown
and striped pyjamas
hobbled on crutches along
the corridor at the back,
his plastered leg jutting
stiffly out in front of him.
Illustration by Gerard Fay.
as she headed behind the
reception desk to clock in.
The blue-rinsed
receptionist, wearing her
customary white blouse
with pussycat bow, granted
her the smallest nod and a
tight-lipped smile.
Her haughty manner
changed abruptly as Miss
Bottomly, the imposingly
built matron, sailed up to
the desk like a warship.
“Good morning, Matron.
How are you today?”
Taking a side corridor,
Katie passed the open door
of the porters’ lodge, with
its whiff of Woodbines,
blokey laughter and the
tinny sound of Steve Harley
singing “Come Up And See
Me” on the radio.
A wolf-whistle greeted
office, which wasn’t open
yet, and took the stairs to
the staff dining-room on
the first floor.
It tickled Katie to think
her employers were too
posh to call it a canteen,
and that they expected a
Ritz-style waitress service.
From a glance at the
restaurant’s plush post-war
decor, no-one would have
thought it was 1975.
Letting herself into the
preparation area, she
swapped her coat for a
pale blue overall.
Then she switched on the
serving cabinets, to heat
the water that would keep
the trays of food warm
when Nino, the Italian chef,
brought them down from
Katie rolled up a rasher unwanted meals to take home
of bacon and popped it into
her mouth. Having had no to their families. Also, the fact
time for breakfast at home,
her stomach was hollow that Katie routinely covers for
and the bacon tasted like
heaven. Mo coming in late and leaving
“One day I open the early, by punching the clock
finest restaurant in
London!” Nino proclaimed for her.
Shirley suggested I make
as he put steaming trays of
fried eggs and baked beans
into the serving cabinet.
“And you, my little Katie,
clear that they were allowed to
will be head waitress!” take the leftovers, rather than
“We’ll make a fortune!”
Katie played along with ‘effectively stealing them’. Also,
him. “What’s for lunch?”
that I do something about Mo’s
“Fish pie, shepherd’s pie
and, as a special treat, my
secret recipe chicken pie!”
timekeeping – ‘otherwise she’s
“My favourite!” Katie just taking the mick.’
grinned and chalked the
options on the blackboard. My view was that the
“Strewth, you wouldn’t
caterers’ actions were not only

the kitchen upstairs. believe the traffic!”

A pair of elegant nurses her passing legs, but she Going into the empty
wafted by like angels in Mo, a wiry, black-haired true to life but added to their
just smiled. The porters, a dining-room, with its tall girl burst in – late as
their freshly starched rough-looking bunch, were sash windows overlooking
uniforms and blue capes. good lads and she knew
always – through the door charm as plucky underdogs.
the hospital grounds and from the fire-escape steps.
“Morning, Mrs they meant no harm. terraced houses beyond, Here were a couple of poorly
Brownsteps.” Katie grinned “I thought I’d be on that
She passed the admin Katie went to the chilled blinkin’ bus for ever!” paid workers striking back
against the system by claiming
a few unofficial perks.
her head and that there was Playing fair Shirley’s judgement,
no way they would ever get The rule with twist endings she’s making a fool of herself however, was a reminder
together in real life. is that you can mislead the by having a crush on a man that women’s mag heroines,
reader but you mustn’t lie with no interest in her. perhaps especially in the
Dessert to them. When you re-read Read again, once we know People’s Friend, have to embody
I had a happy twist up my a story knowing the twist, she’s seeing James, we realise traditional values and be
sleeve, however. At the end everything should still make that she feels insecure within morally upstanding citizens.
of her shift, Katie climbs sense. Nothing should make their clandestine relationship As Shirley put it: ‘It’s in the
the fire-escape stairs to the you say: ‘That character could and doubts whether their fling interests of fairness and honesty
flat roof. There she meets not possibly have done, said will have a future. and keeping our heroine and her
James and, alone at last, they or thought that, because of Her words ring true in both mate from being freeloaders.’
passionately embrace. what we find out about them scenarios, thus misdirecting Luckily, it was an easy fix,
It’s revealed that they met at the end.’ the reader without cheating and I’m pleased to say that
outside of work at a nightclub The trick is to omit anything them. my swiftly reheated story was
some time before and, to that would give away the twist, accepted, with compliments
avoid gossip, decided to keep while diverting attention to Back to the kitchen to the chef.
their courtship secret during information that can be taken I sent Don’t Tell Matron to the
working hours. more than one way. People’s Friend with high hopes How to Write and
The happy ending is that For example, at her lowest that the period setting and Sell Fiction to
James has been offered a ebb, Katie mutters to herself: authentic depiction of hospital Magazines by
partnership at a country ‘He’s a doctor. You’re a divorced life would make it a shoo-in Douglas McPherson
practice far from the hospital waitress with a little boy. You‘re for publication. is available to
– and he wants Katie to go making a fool of yourself.’ The then fiction ed, Shirley download from the
with him as his wife. On first read, we assume Blair, did indeed like that Kindle store.

Writers’FORUM #223 23
 WRITING EXERCISE
THE IMPORTANCE OF
REVISION
Barbara Dynes explains the next steps you should take
when you’ve finished a first draft – and sets an exercise
Interviewer: How much rewriting do
you do?
Hemingway: It depends. I rewrote
the ending of ‘Farewell to Arms’,
the last page of it, thirty-nine times
before I was satisfied.
Interviewer: Was there some
technical problem there? What
was it that had stumped you?
Hemingway: Getting the words right.
The Paris Review, 1956
H
ow much rewriting do
you do? We all write
differently. Some like
to perfect each page
before they move on, in the hope
they’ll have little to do when they
finish the first draft.
I find this puzzling. Though you
might have corrected grammar,
spelling and small mistakes as
you went along, it’s surely not
24 Writers’FORUM #223
until you view the story as a
whole that any big errors show
up. I’m thinking of unclear scenes
that seemed fine when you first
wrote them, dialogue that could
be sharper, even a more suitable
name for your main character.
There is, of course, no right
or wrong way to tackle revision
but, if you’re a relatively new
writer, I recommend that, at
first, you just aim to get the story
down. Don’t stop to fret about
any part of it. Then congratulate
yourself!
But now begins the hard work:
the revision. Where to start? A
few suggestions follow.
The big picture
First, do a read-through of the
whole story or novel, trying at
this stage to ignore any easily
correctable errors such as bad
grammar, repetition and over-
long paragraphs. (Scribbling a
few notes and page numbers to
remind you later is a good idea.)
You are first checking to ensure
you have a workable story:
■  What was your initial theme?
Does the plot succeed in
achieving that goal?
■  Is the storyline clear?
■  What about the length – does
the plot drag anywhere or appear
rushed?
■  Is the ending satisfactory?
If you have doubts about any
of this, structure-wise, there
will probably be considerable
rewriting to do. But do it you
must, however roughly, so that
you have a more solid foundation
to work on. Get this right, before
you move on to correct words,
sentences and the like.
But be warned! This is from
Virginia Woolf’s diary The Voyage
Out:
When I read the thing over I
thought it so flat and monotonous
that I did not even ‘feel’ the
atmosphere… Next morning I
proceeded to slash and rewrite,
in the hope of animating it…
destroying the one virtue it had – a
kind of continuity. I have kept all the
pages I cut out, so the thing can be
reconstructed precisely as it was.
Save all of your drafts is the
moral here!
The beginning
Keep in mind that the beginning
of a story is hugely important and
is probably going to need more
revision than any other part. It is
the first example of your writing
the editor sees and, if it’s poorly
done, is he/she going to read on?
Hooking the editor – and your
reader – is crucial, whether you
do it dramatically or just hint at
the intrigue to come. Have you
started at the right point? If it’s a
short story that has to be where
the conflict really begins.
The characters
People are mostly interested
in people; it is why they read
fiction. Good characterisation is
essential, especially of the main
characters. But include too many
and you will irritate your reader.
Uncle George might be your
favourite member of the cast, but
if you realise he does nothing for
the story – cut him.
Try not to make your people
too stereotyped. And thinking

Uncle George might be your
favourite member of the cast, but
if you realise he does nothing for
the story – cut him
about your characters before
you start writing really pays off. If
your hero is a bit of a wimp, will
his actions seem credible to your
reader if he ends up murdering
his grandad?
Being familiar with your
characters’ personalities will also
help when writing their dialogue.
You’ll instinctively know how they
speak and react to situations.
Regarding viewpoint, if you’ve
told the story from one person’s
angle, check that you’ve stayed
consistent throughout and not
jerked the reader into someone
else’s mind anywhere.
Moving the story on
Whether short story or novel,
you need to make sure that every
scene moves the story on in some
way. Not necessarily through
action – a reflective scene can
move it on just as well if it is
making an important point.
While it’s true that too much
description can hold things up
(depending on the type of story)
– and readers often comment
that they find description boring
– yet every story needs a certain
amount. The best writers will use
it to add to the atmosphere and
tension of the scene.
Words, sentences,
scenes
Never skip revising these. If you
shorten over-long sentences
and superfluous dialogue, cut
repetition of words or substitute
something original for a clichéd
phrase, you are bound to improve
the writing no end.
Keep asking yourself as you
revise: is there a more interesting
way of saying this; can I add
something extra to the story? All
the while remembering to keep
Writers’FORUM
EXERCISE
You the editor
A Revise and rewrite the following passage.
Here are a few things to look out for:
■ Any names sounding alike
■ Does it start in the right place?
■ Is the conversation about the tea important enough to be
in direct dialogue?
to the tone and style of your
intended market, of course.
■ Should the main problem – Shelley’s distress over her
husband – be in direct dialogue, making it stand out?
Grammar etc ■ Long sentences, incorrect punctuation, paragraphing and
The computer will help here, to spelling. Also misplaced capitals and repetition of words
a certain extent, and rarely ■ Cut clichés – find original expressions
do any of us get this exactly
right. But it is important. A first
glance at a sloppily punctuated There was a knock at the door and Sheila’s best pal
manuscript could encourage
an editor to anticipate that the Shelley was standing there which was a bit of a pain
writer might be equally sloppy
with the content. because Sheila hadnt done any housework for a few days
If you’re not confident with
grammar and punctuation, there but she smiled at her. ‘Come in and have a cup of tea
are lots of helpful books on the
subject, such as Lynne Truss’s shelley’
Eats, Shoots and Leaves. As the
title suggests, it’s essential for
“OK thanks”
clarity to get even the humble
comma in the right place.
Inside Sheila moved stuff off the clutterd jampacked
Walk away
A good piece of advice is for a settee and then realised that Shelley was in tears and
writer to walk away from the
manuscript after getting that first when she asked her what was wrong she started wailing
rough draft down. Unless you are
working to a deadline, abandon hysterikly saying her husband, Don, had someone else so
it – go and do something else, or
just think about it.
what was she going to do. maisie and mandy were at her
This will pay dividends because,
at that point, you are too closely
involved and can be ‘blind’ to any mother’s watching Childrens Television and she really
faults. After a gap you will have
a more detached approach and didnt know how she would tell them as for her Mother
errors will jump out at you.
Another sound piece of she would go stark staring mad.
advice: after the final revision, if
there is a section you’re still not Sheila made tea in the kitchen thinking she really didn’t
happy with, try reading it aloud.
Stumbling over the words? Sorry, want to hear all this seeing as she felt so guilty about don
it will need yet another rewrite!
maybe thinking she should come clean with shelley and
Barbara Dynes’ latest
book, Masterclasses turn over a new leef so to speak.
in Creative Writing,
is published by
Constable & Robinson Completed / / My rating /
at £9.99
Writers’FORUM #223 25
How To Write For Children!
Writing for children is one of
the most pleasurable and fun
types of writing you can do. It’s
a market that is in demand
and offers a variety of
opportunities to writers.
Our specialist home-study
course – with personal tuition –
teaches you the specific skills
needed to write for children. You
are shown how to write novels,
picture books, story books,
puzzle and activity books, non-
fiction and educational books,
poetry and for magazines. You
are taught how to generate ideas,
develop plots and structure
storylines. You learn how to
FREEPHONE 0800 856 2008
create realistic characters, WB Student
& Successful
12 Reasons To Enrol
believable worlds and how to
Writer,
tame the wildest ideas into
Lou Carter =Specialist course on writing for children
publishable form. You are shown
=Written by published children’s authors
how to contact editors, how to
present your work and HOW TO =Personal advice from expert tutors
SELL YOUR WRITING. In =15 writing assignments
"After completing the course
short you learn all you need to =Flexible study programme
I began writing as much as I
know for writing success. could. I was finally signed by
=Learn to write for all age groups
my agent and within two
If you want to write for months I had a contract with =Learn to write different genres
children this is the place to Bloomsbury. =How to sell your writing
start. It’s ideal for beginners. To date I have nine picture
=How to present your work
Your course comes on a 15-day book contracts all at various
trial and you have two years to stages of publication. There =15-day trial
complete it. Details are free, Is No Dragon In This Story =Student Community Area
with no obligation to enrol. So (Bloomsbury) and Pirate =Certificate of Completion
call our freephone number or Stew (Orchard) both
published summer 2017 and All this for only £374 (or Easy Pay Plan from £34 per month)
visit our website today!
Oscar The Hungry Unicorn email: CW@writersbureau.com Please include your name and address
Ad ref:
HBC620
(Orchard) was released in
Sept 2018." Please send me free details on how to write for children. No
stamp required. We do not share your details with any other

www.writingforchildrencourse.com person or organisation HBC620

START LEARNING TO WRITE FOR CHILDREN TODAY by visiting our
website. Your course modules and the first assignment are available online so
you can start studying while you wait for your course books to arrive.
NAME ...........................................................................................................
ADDRESS .....................................................................................................
........................................................................................................................
POST CODE
.............................................................. .........................................................

www.facebook.com/thewritersbureau EMAIL ..........................................................................................................

Members of
www.twitter.com/writersbureau 31 Freepost THE WRITERS BUREAU
Writers Years of
Bureau Success ITOL and NAWE

STAMFORD COURT CONFERENCE CENTRE, UNIVERSITY OF LEICESTER

Saturday aPrIL 25th 2020 Registration is open online at £75 per delegate

8CONFERENCE
TH

SELF-PUBLISHING The UK’s only dedicated

self-publishing conference
The Self-Publishing Conference is the UK’s only
dedicated self-publishing event, offering authors

2020 Key speakers include...

A choice of sessions includes...
Choosing a reputable self-publishing company
Soc of Authors; Writers’ Guild of Great Britain; W&A Yearbook
Experiences of publishing
Sophie Hannah, Paul A Mendelson, Bali Rai, Steve Moore
• How to boost the buzz around your book
• Subject trends in book publishing
• The importance of editing your work
• The storytelling aspects of marketing a book
• Writing for TV and radio
• Routes to getting reviews
www.selfpublishingconference.org.uk
a chance to find out about a wide range of
publishing options, to hear from and question
those who work within the thriving self-publishing
world, and to network with fellow authors, many
of whom will already be experienced self-
publishers.
Now it its eighth year, the conference is supported
and sponsored by many familiar names, including
SOPHIE HANNAH MERYL HALLS
Bestselling novelist MD, Booksellers Association Writers’ & Artists’, Nielsen, Matador, The
Historical Novel Society, The Book Guild Ltd and
Indie.Go.co.uk. The event attracts experienced
professionals from the worlds of editing,
marketing, production, design and distribution. In
2020 we welcome speakers from, among others,
The Booksellers Association, the Society of
KATE NASH ALYSOUN WEIR Authors and the Writers Guild of Great Britain.
Literary Agent W&A Yearbook
Organised by Troubador Publishing Ltd, 9 Priory Business
Park, Kibworth, Leics LE8 0RX. 0116 279 2299.
Books@troubador.co.uk

BECOMING A WRITER
Freelance Kath Kilburn shares a round-up of FREE ONLINE COURSES
e’re living in interesting
W times – please feel free
to replace ‘interesting’
with an adjective of your
choosing. But the fact is, it’s likely many
of us are in a slightly unusual situation at
the moment, featuring a combination of
less income and more leisure time.
If you’re in that situation and think this
would be a good time to pursue some
low-cost professional development type
activities… well, I’m here to help. What
follows is a whirlwind tour of free, online,
writing-related training courses that you
can access from the comfort and seclusion
of your own sofa to improve your skills
– and your chances of success once the
world’s back on its feet.
■ FutureLearn (www.futurelearn.com
and also mentioned in this issue’s Diary
pages) is chockful of great courses for
writers. I took a gander at Start Fiction
Writing, offered in association with the
Open University. The blurb invites you to:
‘Get started with your own fiction writing,
focusing on the central skill of creating
characters with this hands-on course.’
Other courses cover more specific
aspects of writing, such as research writing
and screenwritng. And did I mention it’s
all free? – how fabulous is that. Courses
typically last six to ten weeks and are
repeated several times. If your chosen
course has already started, you can still
join in or wait for the next start date.
Want to improve your general
knowledge alongside your writing? No
problem… other subjects covered include
nature, politics, business and many more.
■ Another well-regarded provider is
Udemy (www.udemy.com), which offers
a massive range of subjects including
Creative Writing (listed under the general
category Personal Development). Some of
the courses are paid-for options, although
the cost is generally very low, but my
search for ‘writing’, further filtered by ‘free
courses’, brought up 28 pages of courses,
most of them pretty relevant. Short Story
Masterclass, anyone? Or can you face a
Novel Bootcamp?
Tuition is delivered via varying numbers
of online lectures. Udemy student Nathan
Tracey told me: ‘I find the courses
generally of a high quality and helpful.
They’ve encouraged me to pursue my
interests further and I’ve learnt a lot.’
■ A brief mention for ALISON (alison.com)
which I have a soft spot for, having used it
with my own literacy students. Generally,
it doesn’t feature advanced subject matter,
but it’s all free, is great for improving
your grammar, and there are some useful
business courses such as Technical Writing
Essentials and Public Speaking.
■ Despite its invitation to ‘browse
thousands of free classes for your career,
passions and everything in between’
Skillshare (www.skillshare.com) actually
offers both free and paid-for courses. But
I was able to sign up for a basic account
without inputting any card details or
being pressured to go for the more costly
‘Premium’ membership.
The site is focused on creative pursuits
for beginners and more advanced learners,
and free courses include poetry, getting
published and kickstarting your novel.
The Related Skills button takes you from
writing to other potentially useful courses
including How to Make a Podcast and
Blogging Basics.
■ I quite like Skilla (www.skilla.co.uk)
and am impressed that it starts with a
brief analysis of your personal learning
style. You need to sign in (I used ‘freelance
writer’ as my organisation name) and
then choose a subject for your free sample
course – Professional Writing, in my case.
The tutorial was fairly basic but
very clear and enjoyable to watch. The
information was also given in printable
pdf form for future perusal.
Given the level and clarity of the
presentation, I’d definitely use Skilla again,
particularly for a new area of writing I was
considering or a peripheral subject I felt
less confident in, such as digital skills.
THE BUSINESS
■ You might have heard of Coursera
(www.coursera.org), which is a long-
established provider of online courses.
They used to all be free, but now some
are paid-for. It concentrates on business
and computing areas, but there is, for
example, a free course called Speak
English, Professionally in Person, Online
and on the Phone, which will come in
useful if you’re likely to be beset by nerves
when your local literature festival invites
you to talk about your writing career.
Also free are Memoir and Personal
Essay and Write Your First Novel. It’s
worthwhile scrolling through the options
for something that meets your own
particular needs.
■ Finally, the UK Writing College has a
special time-limited offer until 30 June – a
free, one-module taster of their Writing
Short Stories That Sell, run by writer Ginny
Swart. Ginny has sold over 750 short
stories to women’s magazines. She also has
three romance novels and various literary
stories to her name, and is a past winner of
the prestigious Real Writers Prize.
The free module covers a variety
of aspects: how to sell your story to a
magazine; how much you can expect to
earn from writing short stories; how to
write for a specific market; how to study
your market; and how to get to know
your readers – plus the chance to submit
a story to Ginny for feedback. There is no
obigation to take the rest of the course,
which costs £495. For full details, please
see https://bit.ly/2JhYAhr
I hope there’s something here that
seems worthy of further investigation.
I certainly think all the sites have
something to offer the fledgling freelancer.
Remember that while writing skills
themselves are vital to your new career,
there are many peripheral skills that
would be very useful – for example,
computing, psychology or marketing.
And developing a beginner’s interest
in art or a science subject could both
enhance your stories and also furnish
you with a wider range of subjects for
your articles.
Every new area you take an interest in
has a knock-on effect for both your fiction
and your non-fiction writing.
Happy learning!
Writers’FORUM #223 27
 SHORT SHORT WRITING

Writers’FORUM
FLASH COMP RESULTS
The task was to write a short short story on the theme of ‘Scorn’

adly, this will be the last Flash Comp in the magazine until Things

S Get Back to Normal, but as we have more editorial space in

this issue than usual – many of our advertisers are having to
cancel because there are no events, workshops and so on during the
lockdown – I’m able to present more of the runners-up.
The standard of entries on last month’s theme of ‘scorn’ was very
high. I think the only major problem I can highlight is that some of
you immediately thought ‘Hell hath no fury…’, came up with a scorned
woman scenario, and didn’t really develop the idea or the resulting
story enough to make it stand out.
Several of you used current events to inspire your stories, either
overtly – like the darkly-comic-but-at-the-same-time-deadly-serious
winner by Kevin Cheeseman – or by adding themes of cooperation and
thoughtfulness. That makes sense because it’s an important time to
think about other people and how to get along together.

£100 winner
Dominoes by Kevin Cheeseman

id you hear about my run-in with the landlord of The

D Pheasant? He wouldn’t let our walking club into the pub

before we’d washed our hands with that disinfectant gel
stuff. Have you ever heard such nonsense?
I said to him, ‘Viruses? We’ve been walking over the moors, in
the fresh air and sunshine. You should try it sometime – do you
a damn sight more good than washing your hands.’
Then I told him where he could put his flaming gel and the
miserable sod barred me.
The others kowtowed, of course. I said to them, ‘You’re such a
load of sheep, there’s more chance of you catching foot-and-mouth
disease than ruddy coronavirus.’
Still, I’m not sure we’ll be going for another hike any time soon,
with so many members kicking the bucket. I don’t believe this
baloney about a virus, though. It’s just old age, isn’t it? You can’t
fix that with soap and water, can you?
Speaking of fallen brethren, it was John’s funeral on Monday.
John’s wife wasn’t well enough to go, sadly. Doesn’t have long
herself by the sound of it. Which was a shame because he had
a good send-off. Bit of a low turn-out but that was only to be
expected with all this fuss going on.
It was that new woman vicar did the service. I don’t normally
hold with women vicars but she did a decent job, to be fair.
Mind you, I could have done without her pontificating about
coronavirus, telling us we all have a responsibility to stop it
spreading. More propaganda about washing your hands, in other
words. What a load of twaddle.
I wanted to say to her, ‘Stick to the God stuff, love, you’re not a
flaming doctor.’
Well, you don’t go to church to be lectured on public health, do
you?
And then, blow me if it wasn’t the same at Paddy’s funeral. The
priest – little African chap – was spouting some claptrap about
‘super-spreaders’ propagating the disease.
I was sat next to Frank and I said, ‘What the heck’s a super-
spreader when it’s at home? Sounds like a piece of farm machinery.’
Frank told me to keep my voice down, which is typical of him.
Or was. He’s at death’s door too now, apparently. So much for
‘blessed are the meek’.
To top it all, the priest wouldn’t shake anybody’s hand. He stood
at the church door doing ‘fist bumps’ with us mourners as we filed
out. Fist bumps – I ask you.
I’m not being racist or anything but a proper English priest
wouldn’t do that, would they? After all, it’s a funeral, not a bloody
football match – show a bit of respect.
I mean, what would you have thought, if I’d bumped your fist
just now instead of shaking your hand, eh?
Anyway, must be off – I’m going down the social club. There’s
always a good crowd in there and I’ve lined up some old pals for
a game of dominoes.’
• Kevin, from Haddenham, Bucks, says: ‘Inspired by current events,
obviously. Apologies for the dark humour. Putting myself in the place of
grumpy old cynic came quite easily for some reason, but hopefully I’m
better informed and behaved than my protagonist. Keep well, everyone.’
Runner-up
Masterclass by Jane Odriozola
i, Madre – how do you expect them to follow you with a
A beat like that?’
I’m shrivelling inside, trying to maintain my façade. I
feel the stage lights burning the back of my neck. The suit jacket
traps the sweat running between my shoulder blades. I turn back
to the orchestra. At this moment, I imagine a semi-circle of wolves
crouched, lips curled, waiting for my next move. Will they torture
me a little first – lead me to believe I can get out of here alive? The

28 Writers’FORUM #223
cigar-thickened voice stabs at me again from the audience seats.
‘Well? Is that all you can show me? Take the opening again.
Presence! Presence!’
‘Yes, Maestro.’ I take up the baton, stretch up my spine, lift my
chin. Instruments are raised and ninety pairs of eyes pin me. I’ve
been longing for this masterclass, this chance, hard-earned and
so easily lost. And as usual, I’ve had to fight twice as hard to be
taken seriously. I open my arms and give the impulse, setting this
glorious music in motion and locking eyes with the timpanist as
he carries my pulse. Strings and winds surge. I encourage and
direct the flow of sound, all with the choreography of gesture. An
air traffic controller, juggling the flight paths of many instruments
in my two hands. The orchestra begins to read me and I relax into
what I love.
A brisk clap of hands causes me to falter and lose momentum.
The orchestra subsides, the bassoonist dribbling out her last bars
after the others. She challenges me, one eyebrow raised. I turn.
Maestro has more criticisms, barely concealing his opinion of
my presentation. The termite of self-doubt is making holes in
everything I thought I knew. And yet – that raised eyebrow stings
me into action.
I clear my throat and begin to defend my vision of this symphony,
my choice of tempo here, less trumpet there, my instincts regarding
the composer’s intentions. I’m fighting for my musical life in this
moment. There’s a silence when I’m done. The musicians are a
force field of shock. Nobody dares as I have. I feel punctured,
adrenaline slinking away. The faces around me are again wolves,
surely awaiting the kill, the dispatch of this upstart. Maestro is
all smiles as he escorts me from the podium, my allotted time
expired. His eyes are glacial. In the wings, he gives me a bruising
pinch with his parting words.
‘Spirited, eh? But much work to be done, missy!’ And I’m
dismissed from his presence.
No eyebrows are raised as I step on to the podium that evening.
No wolves in sight. Only encouraging smiles. I’m flushed with
gratitude for the vote of confidence and this unexpected bonus.
An opportunity to prove my worth and prove him wrong. I think
of the limping Maestro and wonder whose instrument case it was.
I raise my baton and catch the bassoonist’s eye. She winks.
• Jane from Bergen, Norway, says: ‘As an orchestral musician, I see the
merciless spotlight on young conductors and how hard it can be in the
goldfish bowl. Women conductors are still rare and I wanted to show
what they are up against!’
Runner-up
Meeting in the Middle by Saul P Tiler
hey were tiny little things, but Jake did them deliberately.
T An ear stud. Novelty socks. Just enough that Karl would
pick him up on them. Because Karl was an arsehole.
He was in his forties and was the type of man who had a wife
at home who gave him shit, which he would promptly dump on
Jake when he got to work.
‘Where does it say it?’ asked Jake.
‘Page four. Hair should be presentable,’ Karl said, looking past
him as he did so, as if Jake wasn’t worth looking at.
‘My hair is presentable.’
‘Presentable is washed,’ Karl said, then sprayed his weird little
hands with sanitiser as if he thought that Jake was dirty.
‘Fine, I’ll wash it tonight.’
‘Go home now. Come back tomorrow looking presentable,’ Karl
said walking off, as if Jake was dismissed.
Jake would lose a day’s pay, which he couldn’t afford. Not with
his mum. Didn’t that idiot realise that life was for living?
Jake hated Karl.
They were tiny little things, but Karl picked on them
deliberately, things that someone like Jake wouldn’t understand
were important. That was how it started, letting things slip. You
had to catch them early. Karl understood that; someone like Jake
never would.
‘Where does it say it?’ asked Jake, with a rebellious sneer on his
face.
‘Page four. Hair should be presentable,’ Karl said, looking past
him as he spotted a local shoplifter malingering in the alcohol
aisle.
‘My hair is presentable.’
‘Presentable is washed,’ Karl said and sprayed his hands with
sanitiser, a habit he had fallen into during his time at the hospital.
‘Fine, I’ll wash it tonight,’ Jake said, passing his hands through
his hair, adding insult to injury as those greasy hands would have
been touching the fruit and veg.
‘Go home now. Come back tomorrow looking presentable,’ Karl
said, walking off as a bottle of whiskey was slipped into an inside
pocket. The boy would lose his wages, but it was his own fault.
And he would probably just waste it on weed anyway.
Karl hated Jake.
Jake was almost at the playground when he spotted the familiar
figure coming the other way. Karl looked different somehow. He
saw that the man recognised him.
They stopped next to each other with the burdens they were
both bearing.
‘It’s my mum, Alzheimer’s. She’s not really all there but she
seems to like watching the kids,’ said Jake.
‘My wife. A car crash. Paralysed from the neck down. The car
was due an MOT. I…’ Karl’s sentence drifted off as he grew upset.
He was someone else then, somehow more fragile. And then he
looked back at Jake with the same look that Jake was giving him.
Karl smiled at Jake for the first time and he found himself
returning the favour. Then they moved off, steering the
wheelchairs along the path in opposite directions.
But taking the same journey still.
• Saul, from Redhill, Surrey, says: ‘Right now, especially right now,
it’s important to understand and help each other. When we assume and
generalise it’s easy to breed disdain. But we have more in common than
we think…’
Runner-up
Front Row by Simon Shergold
M
ikey stood backstage. The compere was just finishing the
introduction and Mikey steeled himself as he did before
every gig – deep breaths, embrace the energy.
‘…without further ado, here he is… Mikeeeeey Grant.’
The clapping and cheering started before he appeared and he
strolled into the light, hand up in greeting. As he walked, he was
looking for Belle. He normally caught a glimpse of her halfway
back, nervous excitement on her face. He didn’t see her and it
bothered him momentarily as he adjusted the mic.
His gigs always started the same – politics. Crowds seem to love
that these days and his satire was sharp. He was just honing in
on the first killer gag when he noticed someone making his way
Continued overleaf
Writers’FORUM #223 29
 SHORT SHORT WRITING
Continued from page 29
towards a chair right at the front. Middle-aged man, unkempt
grey hair and what Mikey could only describe as a comfy
cardigan. Fresh meat.
‘Nice of you to join us. Lost your zimmer?’ Mikey started to a
few giggles. ‘Show starts at eight, you know… seeing as you’re
dressed for the Seventies, you’re well late.’
The man attempted to apologise, obviously a newcomer to these
sorts of events.
Mikey cut him off. ‘Look, mate, this is my last small gig. Least
you could do is make an effort with the wardrobe. My mum
said can she have her carpet back when you’ve finished wearing
it.’ More laughter. The man tried to take his seat but stumbled,
knocking it over. ‘Bloody hell, fella, you been drinking? I would
with that haircut. Honestly, you really should have stayed at
the back.’
The man finally got the chair upright and settled in, a nervous
smile betraying the embarrassment he obviously felt. Mikey
moved on, seamlessly pivoting back to politics, then a touch
of social commentary before everyone’s favourite – the family
observational comedy. He was vaguely conscious that there was
still no Belle, but he was flying now. He moved from the girlfriend
section to his parent jokes, via his Aunt Doris. He could feel the
palpable connection between him and the audience. The big
finish surrounded his Uncle Albie – never worked a day in his
life yet an expert in every job going, always ready with the worst
possible advice.
Mikey leant over at the front of the stage, his earlier target
sitting obediently in his eyeline. ‘He reminds me of you, sir – same
blank expression, nothing really going on up there.’ Tapping his
temple with the mic for effect. ‘If the political stuff was a bit of a
stretch I can write it down for you, if you like?’
Suddenly, a shaft of light appeared at the back of the hall and
Belle squeezed through the door. She made her way forward, past
her usual spot and slid into the chair next to the man with a smile.
Squeezing his arm, she looked up at Mikey and mouthed: Dad.
And for the first time in the history of stand-up, a comedian
died on stage and only two people knew.
• Simon, from Sutton, London, says: ‘I’ve never been a big fan of
comedians targeting audience members – I wanted to show scorn turned
on its head quickly.’
Runner-up
Off Pat by Jennifer Newman
T
hey perched on stools in the cleanliness of their kitchen
to drink hot chocolate. James smiled privately, newly
appraising her pretty bottom as she plopped her empty mug
into the sink and disappeared.
An ugly buzzing. He glanced through the open door before
guiltily answering.
‘Hello. Kathy’s phone. Can I take a message?’
He guessed who it would be: ‘I’m sorry, Pat. She’s not here. I’ll
tell her you called.’
Kathy re-entered with an armful of clean tea-towels.
‘That my phone…?’ she asked, already checking. ‘Oh Jim, how
could you? It was Pat.’
‘Can’t we just have a few bloody hours together without
constant interruption?’
‘Oh, c’mon. You know how bad things are.’
‘Well, no, I don’t really. Pat’s marriage is in a mess, that much
is clear. But the time you spend… Is it violent? Have the police
30 Writers’FORUM #223
been called?’
‘Nooo. Nothing like that… It’s the scorn…’
‘The scorn?’ He couldn’t help giggling. ‘Isn’t that what your
uncle from Harrogate liked? A scorn with jam!’
‘You hard-hearted bugger! How dare you mock? You just
demonstrated the perfect example of scorn.’
The word began to bounce around in his head like a ping-pong
ball. ‘Whoaa!’ He pulled her into his arms. ‘Tell me.’
Kathy stood silent for a moment. ‘Well… it’s everything.
Criticising clothes; hair; driving… Belittling. Making Pat feel
insignificant…’
‘But surely Pat’s a very confident person… author of I don’t
know how many articles on self-esteem in children… The sort
who would stand up to bullying.’
James tried to understand, but a shadow had been cast. They
had lost the prospect of a sunny weekend. Worse still, every time
Kathy’s phone rang, she disappeared into another room to answer.
The idea of a grown-up allowing a long-term partner to bully, nay
destroy the other was a concept he could not grasp.
A week jumped past. ‘I just have to go out for a few groceries!’
Kathy yelled upstairs to him one morning, clonking the door
behind her. He paced about in agitation, finally deciding to walk
into town himself for a haircut.
The first spring sunshine warmed the back of his neck, and he
smiled in pleasure. He turned a corner, and there, heads huddled
together, Kathy and Pat could clearly be seen through the steamed
window of a tiny café. Too late. Kathy glanced up, instinctively
spotting him.
James had to admit that he was jealous, a characteristic he
detested. He walked home, head down, and came to a decision. It
was a couple of hours before he heard the slam of her car door.
‘Kathy!’ He ran to greet her.
‘Oh, James. Please forgive me. But I had to do it.’
He glanced over her shoulder, and there in the passenger seat
sat a doleful Pat, glancing anxiously towards him.
‘I know, darling. We must help. Go and tell poor old Patrick to
bring his things in. I’ll put the kettle on.’
• Jennifer, from Ingoldisthorpe, Norfolk, says: ‘I was inspired by
the previous month’s winner, The Food of Love, with the completely
unexpected twist at the end. It was a challenge to write a story avoiding
language that betrayed the gender of the victim.’
Runner-up
This Cruel Age by Kathy Schilbach
’m ageless of course. Actresses of my calibre usually are. In this
I new production of Duroy’s The Maid Joan, I could have played
a more than convincing Joan of Arc or even her mother. So it
was a blow, a real blow, to be given the role of her grandmother.
A non-speaking part at that.
I don’t know why they’ve put me in here. Call it a dressing
room? More like a store cupboard. From the corridor outside
comes a ripple of sound. The audience clapping. It’s the start of
the third act. I’ll be on soon. It’s the first night, and the critics are
here in force.
What will tomorrow morning’s headlines be, I wonder? ‘Dariel
Dayton brings the house down’? ‘La Dayton bows out on a high’?
Yes, ‘bows out’. This will be my last performance.
I never needed to go to RADA or some theatre school
somewhere to learn how to act. I was a natural, praised from
the word go for the subtlety of my acting. Just a lift of one of my
eyebrows spoke a thousand words.
‘Spoke’. It’s all in the past, and the future looks bleak. With a
 PERFECT
for WRITING
sigh I pick up my bag and head along the corridor to wait in the
wings.
RETREATS
I’ve reached an age when I’m no longer cast as the leading lady.
There are far fewer parts for older women. Almost none at all for
old women. And the reviews dry up when you’re the mother or
the maid or the nurse.
‘Dariel, darling,’ the director had said, ‘there’s simply no part
for you in this play.’
The members of the cast stood around in groups of two or three.

The Mount
They were all in their twenties or thirties. The director, in his early
fifties, was the oldest person present. Apart from me.
There was giggling, soft laughter. They were talking about me.
I felt my cheeks grow warm, and drew myself up to full height, as
tall, regal and defiant as when I’d played Boudicca (‘a wonderfully
outrageous queen’).
The director exhaled noisily. ‘Look, how about we create a part
Durlston, Swanage
for you? Joan’s grandmother, how about that?’
‘Great-grandmother more like.’ A man’s voice, speaking in a
stage whisper. The director sniggered. The others laughed.
I heard the quiet mockery, the contempt, the edge of cruelty
in their laughter, and something died inside me. That was the
moment I knew exactly what I was going to do.
Fools, cruel fools, I think. I despise them. But I’ll have my
name in the papers one last time. And I’ll make a laughing stock
of them all.
On stage, Joan is being tied to the stake. My cue.
It’s a horrible, flippy-floppy rubbery thing, blood-red, with
staring fluorescent eyes. Before anyone can stop me, I pull it out
of the bag and tug it down over my head. Then, stiff-legged,
swaying from side to side, keening eerily, I walk on to the
stage. Not as tragic Joan’s grandmother. No, I’m a ridiculous, Large reception areas for group workshops and socialising
excruciatingly grotesque zombie.

• Kathy from Lancing, West Sussex, says: ‘I’d read in the papers about
the lack of suitable roles for older actors and knew there was a story in it.
The character of ageing actress Dariel Dayton popped into my head
ready formed and was great fun to write.’

Highly commended

Delicacies and Treats by Suzette De Coteau-Atuah, Red Lodge, Suffolk

– a woman remembers being sent to buy corned beef for her
impoverished family in Trinidad and Tobago as a child, and now, in
Hackney, is horrified when her new boyfriend’s parents serve her
corned beef stew. But they see it as a delicacy from their lives in Ghana
when a military coup led to food shortages – a treat reserved for Seven bedrooms (two double and five twin/double)
special guests. I enjoyed this unusual and well-told tale, but it was just a
bit of a stretch to say that it had a theme of ‘scorn’.

Troll in the Shed by Holly Fake, March, Cambs – a moderator delves

into an internet troll’s angry posts and decides not to ban him when
she sees signs of hope after his estranged daughter gets in touch. A
nicely modern tale, but in the end felt I couldn’t really empathise with
the troll and the decision not to ban him.

French Corrections by Stella Waller, Bristol – a boy is determined to

do well in life after being mocked by his French teacher. It was a good
premise, but I felt the conclusion I had to draw, that the mockery had
done him good, wasn’t as satisfying as another ending might have been.

Nice to be Nice by Shirley Thompson, Dunfermline – a woman is taught

a lesson when a homeless girl, whom she regards with disgust each Surrounded by Purbeck’s inspirational scenery
week as she parks her car, gives her some change for the ticket machine.
A simple tale with a clear message at the end that wasn’t overplayed. To book The Mount for a group get-together
in 2021, please visit www.themountswanage.co.uk
Until then, please stay home and stay safe
Got a question – or advice for one of these readers? Email help@writers-forum.com
Need advice on writing and publishing? Novelist
and short story writer Della Galton can help
Should I publish my bedtime stories?
Q I have written a series of stories
for children based on our dogs.
My daughter loved them. I think other
children would too but my creative
writing tutor says they are more anecdotal
than actual stories. Does this matter?
Could I go ahead and try and find a
publisher or self-publish them anyway?
Andrew Cox, Mere
A There is nothing wrong with using
real life as the basis for short stories.
But anecdotes and fiction are different. An
anecdote doesn’t tend to have a story arc.
To clarify: a short story usually begins
with a character who has a conflict or
perhaps a quest, which must be resolved
by the end in a way that is not too
predictable or linear. The main character
should change along the journey.
Anecdotes often begin with a conflict
or quest but they tend not to have a
satisfactory resolution. They just ‘end’,
and they can also be missing the character
change. Anecdotes tend to be linear; a
satisfactory story won’t be.
Your creative writing tutor is probably
right. Our children are predisposed to
enjoy our stories, especially if they’re
about their pets or themselves. It doesn’t
mean the stories would appeal to a wider
audience. But there is nothing to stop
you trying.
You might also want to self-publish for
posterity. Maybe your daughter will one
day read your stories to her own children.
Q Our small, informal writing group
decided to self-publish a collection
of poems and I was asked to be editor.
One member (who is a published author
with a niche audience) said that any
decisions should be solely mine, with no
group input. He has subsequently read
out poems with controversial themes
and language. We are concerned about
printing content that may cause offence,
but I wouldn’t want to suppress someone
32 Writers’FORUM #223
else’s freedom of speech, where it is
within the law. I am concerned we as a
group – or I as editor – may be liable.
Katie Moreton, via email
The final decision is usually the
A editor’s but you can invite group input.
It would depend on what you have agreed
between yourselves. But surely it would
be a good plan to have the whole group
happy with the content? Your member can
always produce his own collection and be
as controversial as he wishes with that.
Causing offence is likely to alienate some
readers, which I assume you don’t want to
do. Legalities aside, I wouldn’t want to be
published alongside work I found offensive
because I would be concerned it might
be damaging to my reputation. Maybe a
group chat could resolve this.
Q I am deafblind. I have two hearing
aids and good speech and can
communicate well one to one or in very
small groups. However I can’t cope in
larger groups and it’s difficult on the
phone.
I can read text on a video-magnifier
but I am slow, for example it takes a
good two weeks to read Writers’ Forum.
I use a magnification package on the
computer, so working in Word document
I see perhaps half a dozen words on each
line. I can type reasonably well but can’t
cut and paste or format. I can’t use the
internet or email unless someone prints
off a hard copy.
I am aware the usual recommendations
for progressing as a writer are not open
to me: joining writers’ groups, writing
courses, reading magazines and websites
and past winners of comps to see what is
required. I would also love to be able to
discuss writing with a writer who would
regularly critique my work, but I could not
offer the same back, which seems unfair.
Ultimately I would love to produce
something about my experiences, in
Catch up with Della on Facebook @DearDella
ADVICE PAGE
particular cooking. I have amassed a large
number of recipes and topics for cooking
without sight and that is a long-term aim.
A slightly less long-term aim would be to
have a story or two published and then
produce a collection of articles and stories
similar to my blog.
Helen Small, Durham
My gut feeling is you should work
A on your cookery book, because from
your letter it’s clear this is your passion
and I think all writers should do what they
feel most passionately about. Writing is
hard and it’s difficult for all of us to keep
motivated. Although it is a niche market
project you may be able to interest a
publisher.
Regarding stories, paying for critiques
as you’ve been doing is expensive but it’s
a good occasional option to learn more.
Also, consider an occasional writing coach
if you can find one in your area. Again it’s
expensive but may be possible.
I agree that working with another writer
could help a great deal. You may have
tried this already but can the advice line at
www.deafblind.org.uk or www.sense.org.
uk put you in touch with anyone? Also try
the U3A or any colleges in your area. They
may know of a local group or individual.
Finally have you considered bartering?
I am a great fan of the bartering system.
For example, I swap creative writing
lessons for piano lessons. Can you offer
something in the cookery line in return
for some writing lessons. Or do you have
another skill you might swap? Try the
bartering section on www.craigslist.org.
There are other sites too. Good luck.
• Della’s books on
writing, The Short
Story Writer’s
Toolshed and The
Novel Writer’s
Toolshed, are available
from Amazon

Tales of my GURU
The mystery mentor points out that, in writing, rules can be broken
diting, of course,’ said a voice, ‘is
E a pig’s ear of a job for a beginner
writer.’ A sigh followed; and I
glanced around the museum
expecting a chap in a peaked cap, with
an appraising eye, but instead I found
my Guru relaxed behind a counter that
displayed Wordsworth memorabilia; and
sighing out cigar smoke.
‘You’re breaking the rules,’ I said,
indicating a No Smoking sign.
He handed me a cigar, offered me a
chair, and we both broke the rules.
‘Rules, fools,’ sighed my Guru.
(I should tell you that my Guru is not a
recalcitrant human being, but an eternal
eidolon, willing and able to save me from
the struggles of my amateur writing.)
‘Wasn’t Wordsworth a bit wordy?’ I said.
‘I sometimes think he could be edited.’
‘There’s the problem,’ said my Guru.
He shoved a packet of biscuits at me, and
poured coffee, with only the thinnest
glance at another sign that told us not to
consume anything. ‘Anybody could edit
a Wordsworth poem –’
‘Yes?’
‘– and ruin it. Editing, you see, is as
personal as writing, so telling a beginner
how to edit is like telling him how to write;
you can’t tell someone how to write –’
‘But you do! I do! We all do!’
‘Yes, yes! But ultimately, the writer
has to find his own style, his own magic,
his own display of word agility, and
nobody can teach that. We can only
nudge someone this way or that; only
the writer can complete the process of
How-he-should-write.’
‘Tell me about editing, anyway. There are
guidelines.’
‘You remember the basic tenet? Remove
words that don’t mean much. Remove
facts that don’t advance the story. Good
cigar, eh?’
‘Get on.’
‘Have another biscuit.’
‘No.’
‘Well, imagine a film. Someone gets out
of a car and hurries to hide in an alley.’
‘Silly ass. If he’s in a car, surely –’
‘Listen.’ My Guru prodded the air
with his cigar. ‘In the film, the audience
sees, perhaps, his boots as he steps on to
the pavement. We see that the boots are
quality, and brown with pale laces. We
by Hugh Scott
see that the pavement is tarmac and clean.
The man is wearing a long grey coat. His
hair is dark, and stirs in the breeze. His
face is grim. He dashes out of sight into the
alley. The quoins of the corner building are
regular and also clean.’
‘Right.’
‘The audience sees all this in a couple of
seconds.’
‘Which is fine, surely?’
‘Of course. It’s a film You can’t avoid it.
But if you are writing all this as a story,
it’s too much. You see, the beginner knows
that everything we have described is there,
but he doesn’t know what to miss out in
order to keep the plot advancing.’
‘He has to edit.’
‘He has to decide which facts do not
advance the story. He has to know whether
or not the boots are important. He has to
know if the cleanliness of the pavement
is important. Same with everything we
have seen. If the grimness of the man’s
face indicates a ruthlessness that is part of
the story, another question arises for the
writer: is this the moment to show it to the
reader? Or not?’
‘And if it is?’
‘The writer should retain it, and reduce
the rest of the passage to exciting brevity:
Sam darted from the car. He glanced back; grim
hatred tightening his mouth as he dodged into
the alley.
‘Oh, that’s quite good! But what about
rules, fools?’
‘Read a passage by an author you
admire. Think about all the rules you
LIKELY STORIES
know. See how many he has broken.’
I puffed my cigar, smoke sniffing around
the Wordsworth memorabilia.
‘Probably several,’ I admitted.
‘And yet the writing is good.’
‘You mean that rules can make fools of
us if we follow them too stringently? You
don’t make it easy, this editing.’
‘Here is an exercise. Take a favourite
paragraph of your own writing and edit
it until it squeals – but don’t change the
meaning. Keep everything that advances
the plot. Keep the elegance. Avoid turning
it into a telegram. Otherwise change
anything you like.
‘Then,’ said my Guru, pausing to suck
mightily at his cigar, swallow a biscuit, and
glug coffee, ‘take your edited version and
break the rules by making it longer and
more leisurely and more encumbered with
facts than even your original paragraph.
See which you like best. By doing this you
will discover what tricky ways of using
words suit you; and you may find that you
have invented your own rules.
‘Sometimes,’ he added mischievously,
‘we really should light a cigar and consume
biscuits. Watch out!’ he exclaimed, and
disappeared.
And beside me was a large chap in a
peaked cap and with an appraising eye
that was darting from my cigar to my
consumables.
‘Just getting in the mood!’ I cried. ‘I
believe Wordsworth smoked cigars. Don’t
tell me these are your biscuits!’
And I rushed out feeling as lonely as a
cloud…
Use it or lose it
An ‘eidolon’ is a phantom, or perhaps a
confusing image such as a reflection. Here is
how to use it:
‘Dad, what’s an eidolon?’
‘Son, I dunno.’
‘’Dad, is it a bug?’
‘Son, 1 dunno.’
‘Dad, is it a spaceship?’
‘Son, I sure dunno.’
‘Dad, is it like an iPad?’
‘I really dunno, son.’
‘Dad, I’m sorry to bother you with all these
questions.’
‘That’s all right, son. If you don’t ask you
don’t learn.’
Writers’FORUM #223 33
Writers FORUM May
Mon Tue Wed Th

Get into the habit of writing every day by starting ’T

DON
!
R

E
with these five-minute prompts. It’s all about

U T E TI M
FO
Look out for furth

RGET
QUANTITY not QUALITY – simply a way to get Facebook @Write
your creativity warmed up, so try not to edit as you

IN
T
O
SE M
T A 5-
write. But if inspiration strikes, keep going!

4 5 6 7 USER GEN
CONT
REVISION TIME LICK A LIMERICK Fill in Come up wit
the gaps idea for a five-m
Have a go at Barbara’s A weather forecaster from in this exercise and
Exercise on page 25. Staines… story… kickstarters@wr
or share it o
@WritersFor

11 12 13 14
COULD BE VERSE MIND MAP RALLYING CRY LETTER
Winston Churchill gave his first
Choose one of Sue’s Write the word MINE Commons speech as Prime Have a go at wr
four heart-themed in the middle of a page, Minister 80 years ago declaring: for the Writer
Poetry Workouts then all the words/ideas ‘I have nothing to offer but blood, (letters@writers
on page 51. it sparks around it… toil, tears and sweat.’ Write a post for our F
until you fill the paper. your speech as PM.

18 19 20 21 WRITING
AN ANAGRAM ALPHA BEATER
It’s 20 years s
Make as many words
Cartland die
and phrases as you can Come up with the
something pink
from the letters in name of an OBJECT
between a supe
UNCHARTED in your home for each letter
HONEY TRAP stacker and a h
TERRITORY of the alphabet.
Describe the taste without using (instead of th
the words sweet or sugar(y) important duke

25 26 27 28 HOM
RANDOM WORD Write
QUIET PLEASE STICKY SITUATION
GENERATOR
Sit in silence for five minutes, Sellotape was invented by
Write about…
then spend five minutes writing American Richard Gurley Drew
down everything that struck you. 90 years ago. How many uses can
KETTLE
you think for it, eg sticking down
INVESTIGATION
envelope flaps, picking up fluff…?
y’s Daily Kickstarters
hu Fri Sat Sun
1 2 3
GET STARTED WHY?
POETRY COMP
her kickstarters on Ten days to go until the
Practise Douglas’s homework
ersForumMagazine
Writers’ Forum #223 poetry comp
on page 13, by writing a
deadline. Spend five minutes
pitch for a travel feature
jotting down ideas on the theme
about a local attraction.
of Lonely.

NERATED
8 9 10
TENT
BRIGHT SIDE FAIRYTALE TWIST
th your own VE DAY
Look in a mirror and write about Retell The Magic Porridge
minute writing Write a poster for an imaginary
something positive that you Pot but about an enchanted,
d email it to local street party to celebrate
have learned, changed or decided never-ending toilet roll that
riters-forum.com the anniversary of VE Day.
about yourself in the last month. starts filling the hero’s home
on Facebook
and then the streets.
rumMagazine

15 16 17
R BOX
FAMOUS FIRST WORDS SQUARE UP
Start your own story from the
riting something
opening line of Charlotte Roll a dice for Paula’s
rs’ Circle page WHAT?
Brontë’s Jane Eyre: Fiction Square on page 40
s-forum.com) or
and bullet-point the key scenes
Facebook page.
There was no possibility of of a story.
taking a walk that day.

G CLASS
22 23 24
♫ ANSWER THE POSTCARD FROM
since Barbara USE IT OR LOSE IT
QUESTION! ♫ THE FUTURE
ed. Wearing
k, write a scene Write the opening to
Who Put the Bomp Send yourself greetings from
ermarket shelf a speculative story about a plague
(in the Bomp, Bomp, Bomp) a favourite destination when
hospital porter based on recent experiences…
(Barry Mann, 1961) things are back to normal…
he rather less
e/duchess etc).

ME SCHOOL 29
WORRY HURRY
e today’s lesson
Pour out a current writing
problem into a letter and
send it to Dear Della or
the Mentor – or burn it.
30
VOCAB BOOST
Write a list of random words
where each begins with the last
letter of the preceding word.
Your starter word is CRISP…
31
SUMMING UP
Write a list of everything
you’ve written this month
and/or everything you plan to
write next month, honest.
 NOVEL MARKETS
PUBLISHING NOW
Last issue we looked at why inclusion is important. Here
Kathleen Whyman asks how authors can implement this
E
nsuring our characters
accurately represent
a diverse population
is important. The
word accurately is key here. If
stereotypes creep into your
work, it smacks of laziness at the
very least, and could potentially
be seen as offensive and
prejudiced.
So if you’re white, middle-
aged, middle class, straight and
able-bodied, how can you portray
under-represented characters
respectfully and honestly without
causing offence?
‘Do your research,’ says Laura
Macdougall, agent at United
Agents. ‘Read. Talk to people.
Don’t try to tick a box or satisfy
a quota. Write with empathy.’
‘Sensitivity readers are a useful
tool to see whether your fiction
is respectful and thoughtful of
the issues facing marginalised
people,’ advises Keshini Naidoo,
co-founder of Hera Books. ‘But
on a base level, talk to people
within those communities, and
be mindful of why you’ve chosen
to include those characters and
what they can bring to your
narrative.’
‘Research, first and foremost,’
says Caroline Bell Foster, the
Romantic Novelists’ Association’s
diversity and inclusion officer.
‘Don’t rely on a simple search
engine search. Join Facebook
groups and forums, introduce
yourself and ask questions. You’ll
find most people willing to share
their culture and experiences.’
Liam Livings, also a RNA
diversity and inclusion officer,
agrees. ‘There are many ways
to “know” about a subject or
identity that differs from your
own. You can talk to people
from that group. You can
research online. You can ask for
a sensitivity reader from that
group to give views about your
36 Writers’FORUM #223
portrayal of that character in
your story.
‘There’s no guarantee you
won’t offend someone with what
you write,’ he warns. ‘And there’s
no United Federation of Gay Men
(or BAME women etc); if you ask
a dozen gay men for an opinion
about a portrayal of a gay man
in fiction, you’ll probably get a
dozen different views. However,
by ensuring your characters
from backgrounds differing from
your own are rounded, flawed,
conflicted – just like those from
a similar background to your
own – you’ll avoid stereotypes.’
‘It’s always better to ask
questions and get it right than
remain in ignorance and get
it wrong,’ Bell Foster adds.
‘However, please be mindful – it’s
up to you, not anyone else, to
educate yourself.
Be the change
As well as having diverse
characters in our novels, it’s just
as important that the people
writing the books are not limited
by race, colour, age, gender,
sexuality, physical or mental
ability or background.
‘Be the change you want to
see,’ says Macdougall. ‘Don’t give
up. And support those who are
writing the books that make you
feel represented.’
Laura Macdougall
Livings suggests connecting
with your nearest writing group.
‘Submit your stories for
awards,’ he says. ‘Talk about your
writing with confidence. Your
writing and you are just as valid
as everyone else.
‘Nora Roberts blogged
about the Romance Writers of
America and pointed out that
“writers” doesn’t specify gender,
sexuality, race, religion etc. The
RNA applies it in a similar way:
novelists come in all types.’
Naidoo agrees. ‘We need our
own voices in this industry,’ she
says. ‘Your work and your story
are important. If you feel that
your book sits in the commercial
fiction genre – whether crime
fiction, romance or sagas – we at
Hera would love to read it!’
Bell Foster was once asked
to change the main character
of a book from a mature
black Rastafarian woman to
a young white woman. She
refused, published the book
independently, and it became her
first Amazon bestseller.
‘Stay true to yourself and your
characters,’ she urges. ‘It can be
daunting but put yourself out
there. The RNA has chapters
[local groups] all around the
country and is very supportive.’
She encourages the use of
social media and hashtags,
Liam Livings
Keshini Naidoo
especially if your genre is niche.
‘There are several websites
that primarily showcase under-
represented authors and novels
with under-represented main
characters,’ she explains. ‘We’re
living in exciting times, and the
representation of all groups is
finally being reflected within all
aspects of fiction, TV and film.
Information is at our fingertips.’
‘It won’t change overnight.
This is a journey,’ adds Livings.
‘Most people are keen to
understand more about
people and characters from
backgrounds different from their
own. To educate and inform
others, it’s good to focus on
the intent behind someone’s
questions to support their
better understanding than any
unintentionally clumsy language
they may have used.’
‘The process has been slow,’
says Bell Foster. ‘I’ve found
publishing to be the last bastion,
as it were, in the creative
industry. The world is changing,
and with it voices are finally being
heard and their message noted.
I’m hoping there will be a greater
reflection of all communities for
everyone to read.’
Caroline Bell Foster
 STORY COMP

Writers FORUM
fictioncompetition
Congratulations to this month’s winners, Paweł Warwicker, John E Goodman and JD Venner.
Do you have a short story that could impress our head judge Lorraine Mace?
Any subject, any style is welcome. Turn to the rules and entry form on page 45.

FIRST PRIZE £300

The President’s
Front Lawn
Paweł Warwicker

Contains some strong language

t this to go?’ asks the man in the overalls, pointing at the Cézanne

I and looking at his clipboard.

‘It’s all to go. Take all of it.’
‘And the vase?’
‘And the vase,’ I say stressing the correct pronunciation of the ‘ar’
in vase.
He stops and looks up at me. ‘You from England, huh?’
I ignore him.
‘Aw, wow. I’d love to go one day. All that history…’ He tails off,
aware that I am looking away, not listening.
After a pause: ‘And the desk?’
‘What part of it’s all to go didn’t you understand?’ I say, testily, and
immediately regret it.
‘Hey, there’s no need, bud, I’m only –’
‘Doing your job,’ I finish his sentence. ‘Sorry, it’s just… you
know?’
‘Yeah, I know,’ he says and, turning, fumbles and drops it. My
19th-century Japanese vase. It shatters all over the floor.
I remember bidding for it at auction last year. Crazy money. In
truth, I never liked it, even then. It was all about winning. Having
the biggest dick in the room.
‘Shit,’ he says.
I start to laugh. I can’t help it.
At first, he looks angry, like he might hit me. It’d be no more than
I deserve. Go on my friend, a sweet right to the chin. My eyes well
up. Laughter turns into sobbing. The man no longer looks like he
wants to hit me. He looks uncomfortable. A moment later he heads
towards me like he wants to – oh Christ no – give me a hug.
Thankfully, the noise prompts Shelley, my PA, or to be completely
accurate, my ex-PA, to clatter into the room on the pretext of asking
me if I want food.
‘Did ya eat yet?’ she says in her Brooklyn accent.
***
Not a day passes now when I don’t re-live that last deal. It was too
good to be true. What the grifters call a wallet-screw. The price was
reassuringly high, and the promised profit higher still.
When, in the aftermath, it looked like the company might still
survive, with a loan here and a merger there, we lived on our
nerves and we waited on the phone calls and emails like lovesick
teenagers. But there was no credit, and no salvation.
The strangest thing was the sense of relief. Funny that. Relief that
it was all over.
I guess it’s like trying to catch a flight when you’re running late.
As take-off time comes and goes, and there’s nothing else you can
do, a kind of peace descends. I sure missed my flight, but now there
is no peace, just a sense of unreality, and a sense of humiliation,
and a headache; a terrible, gnawing headache over my right eye.
***
‘Well? Did ya eat yet?’
‘You’re no longer my PA, Shelley.’
‘I’m no longer anybody’s PA and, hey, I was never just your PA,’
she says.
Continued overleaf

Writers’FORUM #223 37
 STORY COMP
The President’s Front Lawn continued
She is right. Shelley has been my PA, my confidante, my only
honest critic, my only friend, and once, one rainy night stuck in one
of those southern New Jersey coast summer resort towns, my lover.
We were both young, both hungry to make something of
ourselves, and both achingly lonely. She had helped me close a deal
for the company. A good deal. No, a great deal. We were the cham-
pions of the world.
I can still see her in my mind’s eye. She had kicked off her shoes
and lay on my bed sipping sparkling wine. She untied her hair,
which tumbled down. She was laughing. I was laughing. Our eyes
met. The rain was smattering against the windows and we heard
the distant thunder of a summer storm. The humid air was thick
with charge. We huddled closer. It was the most natural thing to do.
Then we kissed.
I remember the scent and the touch of her.
The rain beat louder on the panes, and outside the heavens
roared as the storm passed overhead. I remember how we laughed
with each crack of thunder, and how we drew closer.
I told myself it was the moment; it was the high, and it was just
sex. But deep down, I knew she had always loved me. The following
morning, I dressed in silence and left before she woke.
No, that’s bullshit.
I can’t let myself off that easy.
If I am honest, I knew she had woken. She was lying with her
back to me, and I caught the sight of her open eyes in the mirror.
What followed was a long line of meaningless affairs with women
who passed rapidly in and out of my life. Shelley stayed with me
throughout all of them, never mentioning that day again, asking
nothing of me.
Too stuck up my own arse. That’s me. And now it’s too late.
***
‘Well, did ya eat yet?’
I shake my head.
‘I’m just going to that little joint on the corner of 23rd? They do
great coffee.’
I love the way she says the word. ‘Caw–fi.’
‘Thanks Shelley, but I’m good.’ And the wave of pain hits my
right temple again. I wince and rub the heel of my palms over my
forehead.
She comes over, gently peels my hands away and, whilst chewing
gum, stares with concern at my bloodshot eyes. I turn my face. I do
it because I am ashamed to be crying – but it feels like an unkind
thing to do. Shelley tries and fails to hide the hurt. For the first time
since I have known her, she looks vulnerable, and somehow both
older and younger at the same time. I should never underestimate
my capacity to fuck up those close to me.
Gathering herself she says, ‘Looks like a bad case of Brooklyn
eye – it’s the smog and dust. Get some fresh air, that’s what you
need, fresh air.’
‘Don’t think there’s much chance of that where I’m going, Shelley.’
She smiles and leaves to get her coffee.
***
My computer went days ago, impounded as evidence. The shelves
are empty, and the walls are bare, dusty outlines betraying the
places where my pictures used to hang. The removal man has gone
too and I’m sitting in the middle of my office on a chair, the only
piece of furniture left, when my erstwhile partner storms in.
‘Hello, Richard.’
38 Writers’FORUM #223
‘Don’t hello me, you little shit,’ he shouts, inches from my face,
covering me in a fine spray of spittle, while wafts of last night’s
whisky fill the air.
‘You grade-A stupid Limey shit.’
I don’t much care to argue the toss with Richard.
‘It looked like a scam, it smelt like a scam, and you risked it all.
All on a gamble, a roll of a dice.’
I wonder whether to correct him. I think you’ll find the appropriate
term is a roll of a die, Richard. It is tempting. Perhaps not.
Shelley returns with two bagels and a coffee. She must have been
listening outside the door and she says: ‘As I recall, you were hot for
that deal too, Dick.’ Emphasising the word Dick.
‘Hey, shut your mouth, sweetpea! And it’s Mr de Groot to staff.’
‘Staff! Staff?’ she says, turning to look him in the eye.
In a straight verbal fight, my money’s on Shelley every time. Now
he’s going to get it. I almost feel sorry for him. No, I don’t – he’s
more of a prick than I am, and that’s saying something.
Even he looks like he wants to withdraw that last sentence, but
it’s too late.
‘Number one, I was doing your shit these last few years for
peanuts. Staff wouldn’t have hung around that long. Number two,
you were creaming your pants over this deal, don’t try an’ deny it.
I’ll bet you dollars to donuts you knew it was crooked. And number
I make to push my chair under the
desk. Except the desk isn’t there.
For a few seconds, I am confused
three, for sure you won’t be the one going down for this… he will!’
She points at me. ‘So you better haul your ass out of this building
before I share what I know with that nice DA down County Hall
who’s looking to build a reputation.’
Richard’s lost for words, but he knows when he’s beat.
‘You got a problem with that, pal?’ she adds for good measure,
and he silently marches out, trying to look indignant.
‘Dickwad!’ she shouts after him.
I’m smiling from ear to ear, and catching my expression, Shelley
can’t help grinning.
‘Whaat?’
‘Shelley! I can fight my own battles. But thank you anyway.’
‘Ah, fugeddaboudit.’
‘I got one for you too,’ she says, handing over a paper bag.
She looks at me for a few seconds, then bites into her bagel.
‘Man, that tastes good! No kiddin’.’
***
Afterwards, I stand up to leave, and for an embarrassing moment
make to push my chair under the desk. Except the desk isn’t there
anymore. For a few seconds I am confused, a lost child. I feel like
crying again. Shelley opens her mouth to speak, but can’t find any
words, so instead she kisses me on the cheek.
‘Was that OK?’ she says, pulling back. She looks scared.
‘It was very OK.’
I kiss her back. On the lips. She drops her bagel, and very nearly
her coffee.
‘Thank you,’ I say, ‘for everything.’
As we leave for the last time, I turn.
‘Don’t look back,’ says Shelley, gripping my arm and leading me
away.

In the foyer of the office block that used to house our company, I
search my pockets for money for a cab, but all I have is a single coin
– only a dime to my name.
Shelley looks at me, and then down at my near-empty palm.
‘We can use my car.’
***
Outside, the beeping of horns and shouting of drivers fills the air.
It is raining hard and neither of us is dressed for the weather. We
run from office entrance to office entrance, skipping some puddles
and landing in others, getting soaked. We stop to catch our breath.
Her hair is matted in rivulets over her face, but her eyes are shining.
‘Look at us,’ says Shelley. ‘Just a regular pair of fuck-ups.’
Her car, a beat-up Japanese two-door is parked in a side street.
‘Here, take this for a second.’
I hold her cup whilst she gets her keys out of her handbag and,
taking back the coffee, gets in, leaving me waiting outside the side
passenger door.
‘Ain’t no one going to open that for you no more, hun.’
No, of course not.
It’s tough just being yourself again. Especially when you’re a
dickhead.
There’s an apocryphal story about a former US president, I think
it was Gerald Ford, or perhaps Jimmy Carter. Anyway, he’s leaving
the White House for the last time. He collects his belongings and
his family, and they drive them to his home, his real home, in a
grand motorcade. Real fancy. Flags are flying, and everyone cheers
and waves.
The children all run indoors, and the ex-president and his wife
hold an impromptu press conference on the front lawn. There are
anecdotes and witty words, and everyone laughs at the right places
and looks appropriately sad at the others. And when it’s over, the
assorted reporters and press vans and outside broadcast teams all
melt away leaving the ex-president and his wife standing alone.
And as they scan the detritus of a dozen press teams, discarded
plastic coffee cups, empty Coke cans, screwed up copy, all over the
front lawn, the terrible truth dawns.
Yesterday he was the most powerful man in the western world,
and today they will have to tidy up the crap themselves.
***
‘You good?’ asks Shelley, bringing me round from my daydreaming.
‘Sorry, miles away… Yeah.’
‘So, where ya gonna sleep tonight?’
It’s a good question. I was evicted weeks ago after I defaulted on
the rent, and I can’t sleep on the couch in my office anymore. No
couch. No office.
‘Don’t worry about me, Shelley. I’ll find somewhere.’
‘Yeah, right. ‘Cos there are a boatload of apartments to rent for
a dime.’
‘Why you grilling me? It’s not your problem,’ I snap.
It’s too late. Now I’ve done it. It doesn’t take a shrink to tell that
Shelley is upset. I notice her eyes tearing up. All because of my big
mouth and careless words.
‘Not my problem? You wanna take it there?’
‘I’m sorry – I didn’t mean…’
She blanks me.
‘Let’s get outta Gotham,’ she says, starting the engine.
***
The roads out of the city are log-jammed. Ahead of us stretches
a line of cars, intermingled with yellow cabs, all spewing exhaust
STORY COMP
fumes. We sit in silence, awkwardly looking ahead as the wipers
squeak across the windscreen. Rain falls on the roof, getting louder
and louder. Finally, one of us, me, breaks and says something.
‘It’s not a good idea, Shelley. Us. My lawyer says to expect five
to ten.’
‘You think I don’t know that?’
‘I’m trying to protect you.’
‘Are ya kidding me?’
‘You have to move on, Shelley. Like you said yourself – don’t look
back.’
‘This freakin’ guy!’ she says, shaking her head. Her eyes are
welling up again. ‘Why did I have to fall in love with this guy?’
She said it; she said she loves me.
In an instant, Shelley swerves out of the line of traffic, nearly
knocking down a cyclist trying to cut in.
‘Hey lady, watch where you’re going!’ says the cyclist as he kicks
the side of her car.
He earns the horn and the finger. ‘Douchebag!’ she shouts.
She turns off the engine. Without looking at me she continues,
‘This man who breaks my heart with a casual glance, this man who
doesn’t even know the smallest detail about me. Nuttin’ about the
real me!’
We are parked outside a bar. Shelley notices.
‘I need a drink,’ she says.
She is out of the car; the door slamming in my face before I can
say anything. I sit there stunned, watching her disappear into the
bar.
***
The prosaically named ‘Sally’s Place’ is the kind of dive untrou-
bled by needless expense on fripperies such as cleanliness, comfort
and atmosphere. The bartender scowls at me. The pool table is so
threadbare it looks like a dog with mange. Last year’s Christmas
decorations are still clinging to the walls. There is a smell of stale
beer, cheap cigarettes and wasted lives.
I should fit right in.
As my eyes accommodate to the dim lighting from a flickering
neon sign, I spot Shelley hunched over a shot glass. She is sat on
a stool at the wraparound bar, rubbing elbows with two ageing
barflies who are drinking beer from Styrofoam cups. They are
wearing matching sweatpants, worn hoodies and gaudy trainers.
I pull up a stool and sit the other side of Shelley. Without acknowl-
edging me, she motions to the bartender.
‘Another shot, and he’ll have a vodka.’
She really does know me so well.
Next to her, one of the barflies, an old man with a lined face and
a drinker’s nose, pushes back his stool. He staggers off in the direc-
tion of the jukebox, mumbling incoherently as he squints into his
hand, checking a palmful of change for quarters.
The bartender returns with our drinks, and Shelley downs hers
in one.
There is a crackle, a couple of Bakelite heartbeats, then a record
tumbles on to the turntable and the jukebox springs to life. ‘All
Alone Am I,’ sings Brenda Lee.
Shelley snorts ironically.
The old barfly returns. He coughs, a real consumptive’s cough,
and I turn to see that he is holding out a hand to his partner. She
stands and takes it in hers. She’s looking into his eyes with an
expression of devotion, born of years of shared company, mutual
trust and unqualified love, and alcohol.
Shelley, too, is staring at them.
Continued overleaf
Writers’FORUM #223 39
 INSPIRATION

THE WRITERS’
have been an avid reader of crime fiction cold case, linked to a café he closed down ten

I ever since my mother introduced me to

Agatha Christie at the age of 12. So I was
thrilled when about a year ago I came
across a wonderful Facebook group aimed at
readers like me.
years before.
The latest novel, No Mercy, features a
restaurateur from hell, who complains about
the poor hygiene rating his restaurant is
awarded. When he’s found dead inside his
The UK Crime Book Club is a really friendly deep freezer, Kent becomes a suspect and has
group and is made up of both crime writers to solve the murder to clear his name.

Paula Williams meets a crime writer with an idea that’s just the job
and readers. One of its aims is to introduce its
members to writers they may not have come
across before, and it’s through the group that
I ‘met’ Robert Crouch.
Robert has written a series of crime novels
featuring Kent Fisher. I enjoyed the first in the
series, No Accident, and asked Robert how he
came up with his idea.
‘I wanted to write crime fiction but wanted
to create something new and distinctive,
different to the police procedurals and private
eye novels out there. I’m an environmental
health officer and I was driving around
my district when the idea came to me. I
wondered if an EHO could solve a murder,’
he explains.
‘There was only one small problem. You
wouldn’t walk into your local council offices
and ask an EHO to investigate a murder. But
what if the murder wasn’t a murder? What if
it was something an EHO could investigate –
like a fatal workplace accident?
If the murder was disguised as a work
accident, the police would leave the
investigation to environmental health. Time
for my hero, Kent Fisher, to step forward.
After solving the murder he’s a local hero,
with the credibility to investigate more.’
‘I was aware I’d created something unique,
and that environmental health had to be
an integral part of the stories. I could give
readers a glimpse into a world they knew
little about, and plunder my extensive
experience for inspiration and ideas.
‘I used infectious diseases such as E. coli,
which can kill the vulnerable, in No Bodies, the
second mystery. In No Remorse I used the fact
that if anyone dies without relatives to bury
them, the local council steps in. In No More
Lies, the police seek Kent’s assistance with
a A few years ago now I worked as a village
‘The ideas aren’t restricted to murder.
Having managed an environmental health team
through austerity and cuts to public services,
I use my experiences in the backstory, to
add more depth, conflict and drama to the
novels. EHOs can go into most workplaces
and food businesses, offering almost limitless
opportunities for settings, situations and
plots that will hopefully keep my stories fresh
and interesting for a few more years. But
while I may harvest my experiences for ideas,
everything is fictionalised to protect people.
It’s also far more exciting to write.’
Of course, Robert Crouch isn’t alone in
using his day job as material for his writing.
Agatha Christie qualified as a pharmacist’s
assistant in 1917 and went on to use her
extensive knowledge of pharmaceuticals in
many of her novels.
correspondent for my local newspaper and

FICTION SQUARE covered such exciting events as parish council

meetings and jumble sales. I particularly liked
doing flower shows as they always had long
Roll a dice to find all the ingredients for your next story lists of prize-winners – I got paid by the line!
So when I was looking for an occupation
– or use each of the squares as a daily prompt this month for Kat, the main character in my Much
Winchmoor Mysteries series, this was an
Ist & 2nd roll 3rd & 4th roll 5th roll 6th roll 7th roll
obvious choice as it gave her the opportunity
Characters Traits Weather Location Object
to go around asking questions.
1 7 13 19 25 She’s found, as I did, that the job doesn’t
Journalist Manipulative Thriller Local pub Raffle ticket pay very well, so she’s also a dog walker
(handy for discovering dead bodies in out-of-
the-way places) and barmaid (incredibly useful
Enviromental2 8 15 20 26
for overhearing local gossip and, sometimes,
Health Hostile Fake news Crime scene Knife careless alcohol-fuelled talk).
Officer It’s what is called in recruitment consultant
3 9 15 21 27 speak a portfolio career: ‘when you don’t
have one decent full-time job but a variety of
Dog walker Sensitive Sci-fi Bookshop Snow globe
rubbish part-time ones that no one else wants
to do and for which you get paid peanuts.
10 16 22 28
4
With, of course, zero staff benefits, such as
Bar staff Rich Mystery Arcade Stopped clock holiday or sickness pay,’ to quote Kat.
Do you use the experience gained in your
5 11 17 23 29 day job or previous jobs in your writing? As
always, I’d love to hear from you. I’ll also be
Teenager Talkative Sacrifice Church Dog collar
posting lots more prompts on my blog at the
address below.
6 12 18 24 30

Local hero Kind Historical Ferry China cat • Paula’s Much Winchmoor novels Murder Served
Cold and Rough and Deadly are available on
Amazon. See paulawilliamswriter.wordpress.com

40 Writers’FORUM #223

The President’s Front Lawn continued
We watch as they start to dance, oblivious to us or any of the
other customers, unmindful that their trainers stick to the worn
carpet with each step. They embrace, clinging together, ruddy
cheek to ruddy cheek, waltzing slowly.
The barman has been sneering at the old couple as he dries
glasses with a dirty towel.
‘Hah,’ he snorts. ‘Do you see those old fuck-ups? How embar-
rassing. They’ll be back at the bar in a minute drinking themselves
into a stupor.’
We ignore him. Eventually he wanders off to impart his wisdom
SECOND PRIZE £150
Well, No One’s Perfect
John E Goodman
he thing is, bricks aren’t designed to fly. They don’t have
T the necessary— finesse. So, when one took to the air from
the back of a battered old lorry, I didn’t recognise the
danger until it was too late.
I could drone on about traffic, or spray, or physics (perhaps not
physics) but, I admit, I was driving too close to the lorry. By the time
I noticed the large brick-like, well, brick, that had come to its senses
and was falling like, OK, a brick, it was too late. It smashed through
my windscreen and wedged itself cosily between the steering
wheel and dashboard.
I had just enough time to think, ‘Wow, that was lucky,’ before I hit
a tree.
Death isn’t necessarily fatal, unlike being dead that nearly always
is. Death is a process. I didn’t know this at the time but when I
found myself standing naked in front of a young woman, who
was staring at me with shining violet eyes, I was sure something
unusual had happened.
Violet (the name I gave her for obvious reasons) looked down
and started to write on a sheet of black paper that writhed under
her pen as if it hadn’t consented to being used. ‘Peter Broom?’ she
asked, scowling at the paper.
I pride myself in knowing my name and, despite the odd circum-
stances, cleared my throat to give the only answer I could. ‘No.’
She paused, looked back up to me and blinked. Her eyes became
a shade paler. ‘We’ve been expecting you,’ she said, and started
writing again.
I glanced around to search for another I that would make a we,
but I saw no one. ‘It’s Coombe, actually. Coombe not Broom.’ I don’t
usually repeat myself but at the time I was confused and felt embar-
rassed about not being embarrassed by standing naked in front of
a complete stranger who wasn’t wearing a stethoscope.
She flashed her violet eyes at me. ‘Yes… Coombe… that’s right.
That’s what I said.’
And that was what she said, and she said it as if I was the one
who had made a mistake.
‘Where am I actually?’ I asked, thinking it a reasonable question.
‘You are not anywhere, Peter Coombe. You’re not in a place,
you’re in estate.’
‘Estate?’
‘No,’ I said, ‘a state’’.
‘A state. What, dead?’ I didn’t give her time to answer. ‘Is this
heaven or… or – you know?’
STORY COMP
to some other poor schmucks.
I take hold of Shelley’s hand. ‘Truth is, I’m the fuck-up.’
‘We’re all fuck-ups, hun… But you’re my fuck-up.’
Then she cups my face in her hands and kisses me.
How can a man lose everything and gain the world?
About the author Paweł lives in West Yorkshire with his
wife Linda, two dogs, a cat and four beehives. He writes alongside
his work as a kidney doctor. His non-fiction account of the 1952
Copenhagen polio epidemic was published in Denmark.
I glanced around again. I wasn’t impressed. There was no gothic
architecture, no glowing mist and no souls looking at maps. I stood
in a room no bigger than a small reception. The largest piece of
furniture was a little desk (that I’m sure I’ve seen at Ikea) behind
which Violet sat. The walls and floor were a uniform white with
a hint of peach. There were no doors or windows and no obvious
source of light. I could smell lavender and I’m sure I heard a
Coldplay song in the background.
‘You are approaching death, Peter Coombe. It is time for the
Pre-Death Experience you requested. I’m completing the paper-
work now.’
She stopped scribbling on the reluctant paper and spun it round
for me to read. So far as I could see, there was nothing on it.
‘You see?’ she said.
‘Yes, of course,’ I lied but considered us even. ‘What now?’ I felt
remarkably calm despite the circumstances. Perhaps it had some-
thing to do with blood chemistry and not having any.
‘You do recall the questionnaire you completed last year?’ she
said.
‘Was it the one about oral hygiene?’ I couldn’t see the relevance,
but it was the only one I remembered.
‘No. It was the one you completed on the flight back from Costa
Rica.’
‘But I’ve never been to Costa Rica. I’ve never been further west
than Bristol.’
‘Not Costa Rica, Peter Coombe, Costa Brava,’ she said with that
don’t be so stupid tone again.
And then it came to me. On the way back from the full English
Continued overleaf
Writers’FORUM #223 41
 STORY COMP
Well, No One’s Perfect continued
breakfast capital of the world there was a thousand-page holiday
questionnaire that included a section about pre-death preferences.
I thought it odd but answering them was better than looking out
of the window and wondering if it was all right for the wing tip
to flap. ‘Yes, I remember now. How did you get it? Did I win the
holiday?’ Only I smiled.
Violet leaned forward and her eyes flashed. ‘He moves in myste-
rious ways,’ she said, then sat back with her arms folded. I think
she even winked at me.
I didn’t know whether she referred to he or He or whether the he
or He was the other I that made the we she first mentioned.
I looked around yet again, this time expecting to see a bearded
man in crimson robes, lit from behind and gliding towards me
with outstretched arms. ‘Do you, do you mean,’ and then I whis-
pered, ‘God?’
She just stared at me.
‘Does he (or He) leave questionnaires on aeroplanes then?’ I
asked. I waited for an answer, but Violet had clearly said all she
was going to about it. ‘What now?’ Another probing question.
‘As you know, you nominated the place to visit on the physical
plane ante-mortem.’ She looked at the black paper and raised an
eyebrow. ‘Your death bed. That’s a little morbid, Peter Crumb.
But…’
Despite being reassured by her use of Latin, I interrupted because
I felt I had spotted something. ‘But you said I was approaching death.
Doesn’t that also mean not dead? Doesn’t it also mean might pull
through against all odds?’
‘You were mortally injured, Peter Coombe, when your car hit
the Faeces sycomorus. You have been in a coma for three weeks. The
tree will live – you will not. Your heart will stop beating in three
minutes. You can either wait until the moment of death or we can
get on with it now and be ahead of ourselves.’ She smiled.
‘Well, I suppose I might as well keep myself busy. OK, yes pl—’
And before I could finish, I was standing by my deathbed.
I should explain. When I completed the questionnaire, I was a
little bored, quite drunk and very depressed. To say that the holiday
hadn’t gone well is like describing the Antarctic as ’a bit chilly’.
The flight out had been delayed for twelve hours due to technical
difficulties. The information I crowbarred from Pot Luck Airlines
amounted to: ‘We haven’t got a clue what’s wrong so no need to
worry your little head. Once we’ve found someone stupid enough
to fly the thing you’ll be on your way.’
When we – by we I mean me and my wife Genghis (her name’s
Patricia but I think of her as Genghis due to her pathological need
to invade our fridge) – arrived at Girona airport, the transfer
coach had long gone. Our skittish, prepubescent holiday rep had
arranged a taxi to get Genghis and me to our hotel. There’s a word
that describes our driver – kamikaze.
We survived the ride only to discover our three-star-plus hotel
meant one star plus a tribe of tap-dancing cockroaches that lived
under a poorly upcycled dressing table in our room. Genghis
blamed me for booking such a ’pig sty’ (she’s so good with words)
and refused to talk to me until I had ’sorted it’. Her threat made the
room become attractive to me. In the end I paid a small fortune for
an upgrade to a four-star hotel with a badly tiled infinity pool, a
shower with a very relaxed attitude to the words ’hot’ and ‘running’
and a bar that sold the local speciality spirit skilfully disguised as
diesel. Genghis kept, more or less, to herself for the fortnight and I
kept, more or less, drunk.
I measured the passage of time by how well done Genghis looked.
She lay corpse-like in the sun for most of the day, roasting. She
42 Writers’FORUM #223
occasionally re-animated to baste herself with lotion that smelled
of stale coconut. I swear I could hear her sizzle.
Sudoku became my refuge. I completed page after page of the
hateful things. Each one seemed to push me nearer to the edge of…
well, I don’t know; perhaps the edge of doing something like telling
Genghis I couldn’t stand being on the same continent as her. But it
didn’t happen. We drifted through the fortnight as we had the last
fifteen years of our marriage and then I found myself sitting on the
plane back home, a little bored, quite drunk and very depressed.
‘…ease.’ And there I was.
There was no cinematic fade out then fade in. From standing in
Death’s Foyer, I was instantly transported to an intensive care ward
looking at me lying there. There were so many tubes and wires
coming out of me it looked as if the Borg had successfully invaded.
Although I already knew the answer, I asked: ‘Is that me?’
Violet leaned over the bed and squinted. ‘No, actually. Slight
miscalculation.’
‘I knew it,’ I replied.
We didn’t move. The ward flowed past until we were in a side
room with a window giving a view of the nurse’s station.
And there she was, in the only chair capable of supporting her
bulk. Genghis – my beloved.
An ICU is a difficult place for anybody. For so many people, the
beeps and whistles punctuate the struggle for life. Loved ones
occupy the bedsides, their dedication and attachment ensuring a
constant vigil. When I looked into Genghis’s dull brown eyes and
studied each scowl line not hidden under the miracle concealer
dispensed by the Church of QVC, I saw an expression of profound
boredom.
‘Can she see me?’ I asked. ‘No, don’t answer. Of course she can’t.’
It was the first time in fifteen years that I was able to stand naked
in front of her without her closing her eyes and complaining of
nausea.
Violet nodded towards the bed. ‘That is you.’
I stood and stared. I looked strange. No, not strange – different,
unbalanced. Then I had it; I was looking at me, not a reflection. A
wire was clipped to my index finger and then connected to a heart
monitor. There were no tubes.
‘No tubes,’ said Violet.
‘I look so tired.’ I couldn’t take my eyes off me and realised I
wasn’t young anymore.
Violet said: ‘Not long now, Peter Groom.’
I was only half-listening; the other half heard a high-pitched
alarm coming from my heart monitor and then I was torn between
watching Genghis jump to her feet (I hadn’t seen her move that fast
in years, unless it was to get to a buffet first) and a young man in a
white coat with matching face running towards us. He gushed into
the room and slapped a large red button on the wall above my bed.
‘Mrs Coombe, Mrs Coombe, you need to leave the room,’ the
young doctor rhymed.
‘What’s happening? What is it? Oh, please God no!’ Genghis
seemed genuinely distressed, but I put it down to her having to
find another chair. Two nurses came into the room. I watched as
one led her away. Genghis looked unsteady.
‘Not long now,’ said Violet.
I was now more interested in Genghis than what was going on
behind me. I left the doctor and nurse fussing over me and moved
into the room where she’d been taken.
‘I need to go back. I must go back. He needs me,’ she said to the
nurse.
Who’s she talking about? I thought. Me? Surely not.
‘I love him. I love him so much, but I haven’t told him in years
and now it’s too late.’

I was becoming uneasy. It’s me. She’s talking about me.
‘I’ve sat with him for weeks praying that he would wake up. I
haven’t left his side. I don’t care that he ignores me. I don’t care that
he loves his work more than me. I want him to stay. I’ve even given
up bingo for him.’
The nurse gave her a tissue and she blew long, hard and wet.
Violet was beside me. ‘Not long now, Peter Croombe,’ she said for
the hundredth time.
I stood there in a daze. Was it me? Was it my fault that we had
drifted apart? No, of course not. Look at me compared to her. So,
I did. I closed my eyes and looked at my impressive naked form.
My thinning hair, my rounded shoulders, my deflated chest and
distended stomach. I looked at a career that had taken me away
from home for most of our married life. Saw the stress that had
taken its toll on us both. I opened my eyes and really saw my wife.
She looked upset, middle-aged and exhausted.
I realised then that I hadn’t even noticed her age. It was like a
child you haven’t seen in years. In your mind they’re unchanged
but when you see them again, they’ve become a stranger. I don’t
know when our love had evolved into distant then hostile famili-
arity. Was it my fault? She wasn’t perfect and she definitely wasn’t
the woman I’d married. But I wasn’t the athletic, handsome and
ambitious young man she had married either. I realised then that
I never had been.
‘It is time, Peter Coombe,’ said Violet.
‘But I think I still love her,’ I said, and meant it. ‘Can’t I say
goodbye?’
‘Peter Coombe, your time is up.’
I looked into Violet’s eyes for the last time. I saw a hint of—,
something, in them.
Leaving that little room without saying goodbye was the hardest
THIRD PRIZE £100
A Bitter Pill
JD Venner
t is a utopia. But it is false. The false wind blows through the false
I trees and makes the false leaves rustle. A boy sits on the painted
ground, running his fingers through the plastic grass and gives a
disingenuous laugh at the girl’s joke. She palms the dispenser by
her side, manipulating the small wheels with a smooth, practised
motion, swallowing the pill it spits out. Her expression changes,
a blush creeping across her face as she looks away and batts her
long eyelashes. A ShyFlirt pill. A false emotion for a false life in a
false world.
The facade doesn’t seem to bother them. They know about the
grass blades, manufactured and pressed into slots. They see as
well as we do the bark cladding wrapped in strips around the solid
metal of a tree trunk. They too feel the cool afternoon breeze grow
stronger as they approach the ventilation fans. But it doesn’t matter.
It doesn’t make them sick to their stomach, the way it makes us. We
are the future, not them, in their plastic lives. It is almost time to
free them from their cages, whether they want it or not.
It was the cat that saved me from a life of falsehoods. Or, rather,
the emotions of the cat. As it hissed in anger at the child pulling
its tail, it struck me as the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. A
pure, instinctive emotion of hatred that seemed to fill the feline
instantaneously, without the pills or prompts we require. The child
STORY COMP
thing I’d done in my life, well, in my pre-death at least.
Goodbye Pat, I thought. I’m so sorry.
I followed Violet back to the bed where my body lay. The nurse
had just finished tidying the heart monitor wires. I looked peaceful
and, I must confess, a little bit younger. Death seemed to agree with
me.
The doctor went to speak to Pat and shortly after I heard her
sobbing. She came to the bed clinging on to the nurse and stood
there, red-eyed, wet-nosed and… and smiling.
‘Why is she smiling?’ I asked no one in particular.
‘Just a moment,’ said Violet.
I could not take my eyes off Pat. ‘Is it time to move on now?’ I
asked Violet. ‘Do I walk through some sort of shining door?’
‘Just a moment,’ said Violet.
I looked down at my body. I had a good colour for someone who
was dead.
Pat bent down and kissed my forehead. ‘Thank God,’ she
whispered.
‘What the…’, was all I managed as the room started to fade and
go dark. It was, frankly, a bit disappointing.
The last thing I heard before slowly waking up in the hospital
bed and seeing Pat’s face above me, was Violet saying, ‘Peter Doom
— there’s been a bit of a mistake.’
About the author John, from Welling, Kent, has been
interested in creative writing for some years. Being placed has
fulfilled his promise, both to himself and his wife, to have a short
story published in 2020. This is his first attempt.
continued to grab at the feather duster of a tail, likely on one of
the new PlayJoy pills fashionable with parents. The cat turned and
lashed out with a single, tiny paw, striking the child across the
cheek and leaving faint, red lines that began to grow darker and
then run with blood. The child didn't respond, barely flinching,
as he continued to grab at the cat’s tail, now held low behind the
hissing animal out of reach of the child's sticky grip. A woman,
presumably the boy’s mother, came running across the park,
palming her dispenser from her pocket as he ran. She swallowed
Continued overleaf
Writers’FORUM #223 43
 STORY COMP
A Bitter Pill continued
the pill as she approached the boy and concern and worry began
to spread across her previously expressionless face. Kneeling down
in front of him she turned the boy’s face towards her, beginning to
sob as she saw the bright red blood trickling down his cheek. She
pulled the boy in tight, one hand behind his head as she cradled
him in her arms. She was heaving with sobs now. Great, racking
sobs that caused her shoulders to lift and drop, as though invis-
ible marionette strings were being plucked. It must have been an
expensive pill to have that big a reaction. Her friends looked on
from across the park, parasols keeping the sun from their china
white complexions. A prominent display of wealth and status, the
ability to drop such an expensive emotion as that on a small cat
scratch. There was someone in that group that this woman wished
to impress.
I spent the rest of my walk back to work thinking about that cat
and how it had acted. It had displayed emotion. Visceral, violent
emotion, without being fed a pill or tonic. I’d sat there watching
the animal for some time before the event, and I was quite sure
it hadn’t visited any of the animal feeding points. Besides, the
Council would never sanction a violence-based dispenser in the
memorial park. Everything in the park was perfect, in honour of
the Founder. Everything just-so.
The Focus pill my company generously provided at the office
door soon chased away the errant and unproductive thought
pattern. The rest of my day continued as usual. Four more hours of
work, followed by two hours of socialisation, half an hour of meal
preparation and two final hours of entertainment and relaxation.
Yet I couldn’t shake the image of that animal. I used my relaxa-
tion time to explore these thoughts, taking a Curio pill and finding
a documentary on felines. The big cats on the screen occasionally
exhibited similar bouts of violence, throwing themselves against
the glass walls of their natural habitats. But each time, the tell-tale
blue stain on their lips and teeth gave away the contents of their
feeding bowls.
The Curio pill was still in effect after the documentary had
ended. I felt the urge to explore, to learn, pulsing through my veins.
If I’d stayed home that night, I would have become lost down rabbit
holes of documentaries and books. Instead, I forced myself up and
out of the door.
They were dimming the sky as I arrived at the park once again.
I’d treated myself to a SetForth pill on the way. The slight flutter in
my heartbeat was something I’d only felt a few times before, and
it reminded me of the first time I’d met Margery. Not wanting to
temper the excitement with a Nostalgia pill, it was simply a slide-
show in my mind, but the memory was there nonetheless.
Despite the darkening sky, I spotted the feline shortly after
entering the park through the marble arch. It was playing with
something on the ground, batting it from paw to paw. I paced over
to the animal, the two pills in my system combing nicely to create
a sense of curious excitement. The item it was playing with was
a small hamster, one of the many they let roam the park for the
amusement of the visitors. The furry rodent was being knocked
between paws like a ball, its small face looking up at the cat expect-
antly, the same way it looked at anyone that wished to play with
it. The blood-covered flanks of the hamster showed the damage
done by each forceful bat, yet still it maintained its expectant gaze,
completely oblivious to the crushing of its insides. A peaceful
death.
The cat looked up at me and hissed as I squatted down in front
of it. A fascinating reaction that contrasted with the contented
44 Writers’FORUM #223
amusement it had shown while playing with the furball. I consid-
ered my next options in the pursuit of knowledge. Taking it home
to dissect might result in the discovery of an internal, automated
pill dispenser. If I forced it to drink from a feeding point, I could
observe and record the ramifications. I had only just pulled out
my dispenser and begun changing the dials to Decisive/Rational,
when a man approached from behind. His heavy footfalls caused
me to turn quickly, still in my curious state.
‘Wha arr ye doing wiv me cat?’
He was a Grockle, one of the many in the city that lived outside
and beneath our civilised society. I began to change the dispenser
dials to Hostility. It was always best to be rid of a Grockle quickly.
They were prone to sudden bouts of violence and emotion, likely
due to the poor-quality pills they had access to. He approached
quickly, leaning heavily on a plastic cane every time he swung his
unbending right leg forwards for a step.
As if to prove my point, the Grockle struck me suddenly, knocking
the dispenser from my hand. It was a somewhat unexpected move,
violence towards true-citizens being punishable by death. With a
glance I saw the dispenser was destroyed, the internal electronics
sparking slightly outside of their plastic container. No matter. The
nearest dispenser machine was by the marble arch.
The Grockle struck me again with his cane, moving it faster than I
could react. This second strike hit me on the side of the temple, and
my vision blurred as I collapsed to the floor, soft grass caressing my
cheek. Before I could recover my senses and push myself back up,
the Grockle had his knee in my chest.
‘This’ll teach ya ta mess wiv me cat.’
He grabbed my face with rough fingers, black with grime,
pulling my jaw open. I only lightly resisted, still curious as to this
Grockle’s intentions. I wondered about the white crumbs in his
beard. Perhaps a bread roll? A pastry of some kind?
The pill he forced into my mouth was white and bitter. I instinc-
tively swallowed it, a lifetime of pills had removed the need for
conscious thought in that action. Pills had never contained a taste
before, and I considered the bitterness. Perhaps a form of arsenic?
Was the Grockle poisoning me?
The curiosity faded. As did the excitement. There was a moment
of absence, a brief moment of emptiness that I can only describe as
akin to the first few seconds after waking from a deep sleep. Then
came the fear. Sudden, palpable and pounding. Waves of fear swept
over me and I shoved the loathsome Grockle away. Scrambling
backwards, I pushed myself up. My palms were slick and clammy
with sweat already, and I could feel the blood pulsing through my
veins. My first thought was a Fear pill. The King of all Fear pills,
something potent and expensive.
But it faded too quickly. My pounding heart began to slow, the
sweat already beginning to cool. I stood there, panting, six feet
from the Grockle who just stood and watched me. A cock-eyed
smirk of a grin was plastered across his face.
‘That’ll teach ye.’
The old man turned and limped away. I stood there in shock,
frozen in place at the oddity of the meeting. The surprise began to
slowly be boiled away by building anger. No, not anger. Something
deeper, stronger. Rage. How dare that dirty Grockle force a Fear
pill on me. I started after the old man but stopped after only a few
steps. He’d disappeared already into the darkening night. Besides,
I was exhausted. I’d contact the watchmen in the morning. Then
he’d pay with his life.
I began to walk back through the park and stopped. A deep
confusion swept through me, as sudden as any pill. I’d just gone
through four, no, five, different emotions in less than a minute. I
felt another flood of competing emotions. Uncertainty, shock, fear,
panic. Where there should be one, there were many, competing and

clawing for space inside my mind. I was drowning in a flood, a
deluge, a waterfall of emotions.
I charged across the field towards the marble arch and the violet
dispenser machine with its gently pulsing light. It calmed me as I
approached, promising relief from this sudden nightmare. I forced
my shaking hand against the screen and tried to remain patient as I
waited for the green light and my new dispenser. In felt like an age
before a new slender silver tube dropped into the collection bucket
with a reassuring clunk. Spinning the dials to Bliss, I slammed
back the pill that emerged. Then I lay back on the cold ground and
waited to be pacified.
Nothing.
I looked up at the statue of the Founder, standing stern and proud
outside his memorial park. He seemed to eye me with disgust.
Something had happened to me and I had failed him. I was
as conflicted and lost as the humans of old. I had forsaken the
Founder’s vision for humanity.
After some time, I resolved to stand and head back home.
Whatever had happened to me wasn’t permanent, I reasoned. I
wasn’t a Grockle. I had a dwelling, a job and access to the Network.
It was just an adverse reaction that would pass, something wrong
with my previous dispenser.
I managed to get the last chute back to my block. Unable to sleep
though, despite the several EasyZ pills I had taken, I found myself
wandering the halls.
To cease my pacing, I selected a comedy to watch, although I sus-
pected the Giggles pill would be ineffective. It was one of my favour-
ites. A Grockle gets a job at a Starlight plant, due to some misguided
liberal initiative. He’s useless, failing at the most mundane of tasks.
The true-citizens have fun making the tasks ever more difficult
and torturous, until eventually the Grockle kills himself. A true
classic comedy. For some reason, this time I felt deeply uncom-
fortable. The usual hilarious plot points seemed almost sad. The
Grockle’s face was twisted into some form of complex emotion I
couldn’t comprehend as he was kicked and beaten. Blood from his
nose dripped onto a white flower tucked into his button hole, an
odd touch to the costume that I’d not noticed in my previous view-
ings. In the final scene, before the gun went off under the Grockle’s
chin, I noticed something in his eyes, a deep well of sadness, or
pain. I felt myself falling into that well, tipping forwards off my
couch and plummeting down into the dark, cold depths, until the
bang and splash of crimson blood brought me back to the present.
I found myself lying on the floor, as the credits rolled, weeping
into the thick carpet. My shoulders heaved with each sob, as I’d
seen happen to the rich lady in the park that morning. Some part of
me recognised the power of that emotion, the wonder of it, while
simultaneously the rest of me was consumed. It was both terrifying
and enrapturing to be so little in control, so all-encompassed and
overwhelmed by something so personal.
At some point I must have fallen asleep, because I awoke with my
cheek against a cool, damp patch of carpet and my knees hugged up
close to my chest in a similar manner to the babies in the birthing
pods. It was 9:07 and I was late for work.
The next few hours were a blur of movement. The compulsory
10-minute scolding for tardiness was difficult. They gave me a
Contrite pill before I entered, but it had no effect. The lecture was
meaningless. I couldn’t connect to the Overseer, struggling to
even care when he gave me the standard punishment of a month’s
docked wages. I wasn’t even sure what I’d have spent that money
on. It would’ve most likely been spent on the monthly shopping
Continued overleaf
STORY COMP
Writers FORUM
Want to see YOUR story published?
Three great prizes every issue
1st £300 2nd £150 3rd £100
All types of story ARE welcome – crime, comedy, history,
romance, horror, SF – BUT THEY MUST BE ENTERTAINING
OR RIVETING NOT UNREMITTINGLY BLEAK. Don’t rely
on subjects like death, abuse etc to add cheap emotion. Stories
must work harder to engage readers.
● Entries MUST be between 1000 and 3000 words.
● Documents must be typed in a Word-compatible file using
double line-spacing and good margin widths. If your entry is
placed you will be notified and asked to email the file along
with a brief author biography and photo.
● On the title page give your name, address, phone number,
email address, story title and wordcount.
● Entry fee is £6 or just £3 for subscribers. Pay online as
shown or fill in your card or cheque details below. Cheques
should be made payable to ‘Select Publisher Services’.
By entering, authors agree for the story to appear in Writers’ Forum if it
wins a prize. Entries must be in English. There is a rolling deadline – entries
arriving too late for one contest go into the next.
How to enter
Enter online at www.writers-forum.com/storycomp.html
(the greener option) and email your entry as directed.
Alternatively, send this coupon (photocopies accepted) with
your payment and manuscript to Writers’ Forum Story Contest,
PO Box 6337, Bournemouth BH1 9EH.
Name
Address
Postcode
Email
Phone
Story title
Length words
I declare the story has not previously been published or
broadcast and that it is my own work
ENTRY FEE: £6 (non-subscriber) £3 (subscriber)
Subscribe below and take advantage of our special entry fees
– you can also subscribe online at www.writers-forum.com
OPTIONAL: Please enrol me for an annual subscription
£38 UK £49 Europe £56 Rest of world
I would like a story critique from the judges and include
a large stamped addressed envelope plus the fee of £5
TOTAL amount payable £
I enclose a cheque My credit-card details are below
Visa/Mastercard/Maestro (delete) Total £
Card no
Expiry date Valid from (if shown)
Issue no (if shown) Security no (last 3 digits)
Signature
I am happy for my story to be considered for a free fiction
workshop and to be featured in Writers’ Forum (optional) 45
 STORY COMP
A Bitter Pill continued
he President’s Front
day, in whichever store first gave me a Consuma pill.
I found myself at my desk, staring at the lines of code. They meant
nothing to me. They scrolled past faster than I could read. Nothing
seemed wrong with my display and glancing around I saw the
T Lawn by Paweł
Warwicker dives
straight into the heart
of the story. Paweł trusts
his readers to follow where
other workers furiously typing at flickering screens. I popped he leads without providing
another Focus, a futile gesture. It was useless, I could barely read any extraneous information.
the first clause before the whole line disappeared from view. We learn from the dialogue
The Overseer had returned to his seat, high above the rest of us. exactly what is happening,
It wouldn’t be long until my lack of progress was made apparent on while the narrator’s inner
one of his many screens. His Focus pill was more potent and he’d thoughts flesh out his
react quickly, far quicker than I could create a distraction. Besides, character completely. Rightly
he would only return to the exact same point after any disturbance, self-disparaging, this is not
not missing a single line of code. I only had one option. a narrator for whom readers
Slipping from my seat, I slithered under my desk. My co-workers would usually feel any
didn’t even look up. I had to hope that the movement had been empathy, but it is his searing
too slight for even the Overseer to notice. Keeping low, I half-ran honesty which enables us to
and half-crawled across to the fire escape door. Sliding through the
door without looking back, I trotted down the plastic staircase until
I reached the ground. Standing outside the entrance to the office
building was the Grockle from the previous night. I stopped dead.
connect with him.
The dialogue is excellent.
It drives the story onwards,
helps to bring the characters
He seemed nervous, as well he should be: being seen in this locale to life and adds a much-
during the day would result in a severe punishment. I thought needed touch of humour to
about how easy it would be to kill him. He was facing away from a dark situation. I particularly
me and I had my hefty communicator in my pocket, its sharp angles warmed to Shelley. After
would be a deadly tool if I wished. I crept towards the creature that being spoken to in a nasty
had ruined my life – by now I was sure that it was the pill he’d tone by the narrator’s former
administered. I was close enough to smell him and his odour filled business partner where he
my nose, bringing disgust even without a pill. He begun to turn, refers to her as staff, she lets
perhaps hearing my final approach, and I raised the plastic brick fly at the man.
above my head. As I swung down towards the loathsome creature’s
head, I caught a flash of white in his buttonhole, a small flower. My ‘Number one – I was doing
swing faltered and the brick dropped from my loose fingers. In that your shit these last few years
moment I thought of the comedy I’d seen the previous night, of the for peanuts. Staff wouldn’t have
red blood on white petals and the deep anguish I’d seen in another hung around that long. Number
man’s eyes. two – you were creaming your
The Grockle smiled. pants over this deal, don’t try
‘Good. You’ve broken free.’ an’ deny it. I’ll bet you dollars to
In my paralysed state I didn’t notice the dropped affectation, I donuts you knew it was crooked.
was deaf to the now cultured tones. And number three – for sure,
‘Come now. There is little time to meet the rest. The revolution you won’t be the one going down
will be beginning soon.’ for this… he will!’ She points at
With that the old man turned, his tattered cloak swirling behind me. ‘So you better haul your ass
him. He set off at a brisk pace down the empty street, limp all but out of this building before I share
gone. I shook my head clear of the fog, forced my leaden limbs back what I know with that nice DA
to life and followed. down County Hall who’s looking
to build a reputation.’
About the author John, from Bicester, Oxfordshire, is a Richard’s lost for words but
mechanical engineer. A staff writer at Worldbuilding Magazine, he he knows when he’s beat.
has several published articles under his belt. This is his first I enjoyed the introduction
attempt at a short story and he hopes to write many more. of the story-within-a-story
to which the title refers, as it
shows in a practical way the
Highly commended consequences of falling from
There were nine other shortlisted stories this month: a great height, which is what
One Night, Two Lives by Audrey Webster; Who’s Afraid of the Light? has happened to the narrator.
by Katherine Freeman; A Subterranean Secret by Morna Clements; The characterisation is so
Hanging Up by Richard Garcka; Four Seasons with Brian by Jeff good that even seemingly
Drummond; Light of His Life by Ben Rigby ; 23 by Helen J Reynolds; incidental players feel
Last Ferry to Santa Margherita by Roger Shadbolt; Things That Must like people readers might
Be Recorded by Dianne Bown-Wilson have seen in real life. The
description of the two barfly
46 Writers’FORUM #223
dancers put me right there
with the narrator and Shelley.
We watch as they start to
dance, oblivious to us or any of
the other customers, unmindful
that their trainers stick to the
worn carpet with each step.
They embrace, clinging together,
ruddy cheek to ruddy cheek,
waltzing slowly.
And, of course, the final
line means the ending is
perfect: How can a man lose
everything and gain the world?
ohn E Goodman’s narrator
J in Well, No One’s Perfect
is a different kettle of fish
completely. This is not
someone who is taking a long
hard look at himself – at least,
not until the end when events
force him to be as critical of
himself as he has been of
his wife.
I enjoyed the humour
and pathos mingled in this
story. Having been driving
a car which is in the path of
a flying brick, the narrator’s
observation is a good example
of how neatly John brings
this to the fore.
I had just enough time to
think, ‘Wow, that was lucky,’
before I hit a tree.
The humour comes through
again when Peter Coombe
finds himself standing naked
in a room that doesn’t live up
to his expectation of either
heaven or the other place
he cannot bring himself to
name. His guide in this state
between being alive and not
quite dead cannot get his
name right, talks about a
trip to Costa Rica Peter never
made and then takes him to
the wrong hospital bed.
There were so many tubes and
wires coming out of me it looked
as if the Borg had successfully
invaded.
Although I already knew the
answer, I asked: ‘Is that me?’
Violet leaned over and
squinted. ‘No, actually. Slight
miscalculation.’

Competition round-up
Lost and won
Lorraine Mace explains why she chose this month’s winners
This all nicely foreshadows
the ending where she realises,
oops, she’s made another
mistake. However, before
readers are treated to this,
Peter’s self-awareness finally
kicks in. He has been having
derogatory thoughts about his
wife throughout the story. The
realisation that she is genuinely
distraught at losing him forces
him to examine his feelings.
Was it me? Was it my fault
that we had drifted apart? No, of
course not. Look at me compared
to her. So, I did. I closed my eyes
and looked at my impressive
naked form. My thinning hair, my
rounded shoulders, my deflated
chest and distended stomach.
This is another story with
a perfect ending that ties up
what has gone before. The
newly awakened Peter has to
come to terms with being alive
after all as he hears Violet’s
parting words.
‘Peter Doom – there’s been a bit
of a mistake.’
Bitter Pill by JD
A Venner is well named
as it tells the tale of
a utopian dystopia.
The opening section, where
the narrator is describing the
world in which he lives, ends
on a good hook.
It is almost time to free them
from their cages, whether they
want it or not.
I like the way the author
is able to convince readers
that taking pills to control or
evoke an emotional response is
entirely natural. He shows the
new world order as being on
the same lines as the old one
– wealth controls everything.
A woman takes a pill to bring
forth huge gushing sobs as she
comforts her child after he has
been scratched by a cat.
Her friends looked on from
across the park, parasols keeping
the sun from their china white
complexions. A prominent display
of wealth and status, the ability to
drop such an expensive emotion as
that on a small cat scratch. There
was someone in that group that
this woman wished to impress.
The pills are used to control
the minds and actions of those
who are deemed worthy. The
lower orders are – as in so
many modern societies – to be
both feared and disparaged.
When the narrator comes face
to face with one such, his first
thought is to attack, but he
needs a pill to bring on his
aggression.
He was a Grockle, one of the
many that lived outside and
beneath our civilised society. I
began to change the dispenser
STORY COMP
It’s the way you tell ’em!
It has long been said that
there are only seven basic
plots – and that is probably
true. However, it is the way
those plots are developed
that decides whether or not
they are derivative. All three
stories deal with subjects
and situations that have
been covered ad infinitum
by authors. We had riches to
rags but found love; a near-
death experience bringing
self-awareness; a dystopia
about to be overturned.
What sets them apart was
the originality and style each
author added. When you next
decide on a plot, ask yourself
what you’ll do to make your
telling of one of the seven
basic storylines unique.
dials to Hostility. It was always
best to be rid of a Grockle quickly.
When the narrator begins to
feel emotions that have nothing
to do with pills, he is confused
and frightened. It was easy to
believe the reaction. After he
has been forced to swallow a
pill that removes his ability
to fake reactions, we are taken
on a journey through the pill-
controlled city, where he is now
experiencing genuine emotions
for the first time.
The ending is hinted at in
the opening sequence, but I
enjoyed discovering how a
true-citizen believer came to
be on the side of the rebels.
Lorraine is co-author
of The Writer’s ABC
Checklist (Accent
Press) and author of
children’s novel Vlad
the Inhaler (LRP)
Writers’FORUM #223 47
 SHORT STORIES

Fiction workshop with tutor

Lorraine Mace

Our head judge uses reader entries to show how to improve your writing

Don’t skimp on the words

ou’ve probably heard

Y the saying that a

story is only as long
as it needs to be, and
to a certain extent, I agree.
However, there are times when
an author fails to do justice to
a great idea by skimping on
the wordcount and rushing
through the storyline. In
other words, a story should
be the right length to create
a meaningful plot, develop
characters and deliver a
satisfying ending – not a word
more and not a word less.
This is all very well in
theory, but how can you tell
when your story has achieved
this magical wordcount? My
advice is always to put it to
one side for at least a week (the
longer the better) and then
print it out and read it as if
someone else had written it.
Wherever you find yourself
stumbling over one of the
element, don’t gloss over it. each other since schooldays before throwing her arms around reached in his parka jacket pocket
Do what you’d do if you were and had secretly been seeing his neck. and brought out a small, red velvet
giving advice to another writer. each other for two years. ‘Yes! Yes!’ box. He opened it to show her a
Mark up the parts that need All this is told in the author’s She put the ring on her finger diamond ring.
more work and rewrite them. voice, which distances readers and admired it, beaming a smile ‘Will you marry me?’ he said,
For the Grace of God by Peter from the characters. Some at him. looking more scared than she had
Dean has a strong plot, but the dialogue then follows: I’m getting married, she thought. ever seen him.
1180 wordcount doesn’t allow It was her greatest desire. She froze for a moment, then
the characters to come to life Walking slowly through threw her arms around his neck.
on the page. Neither does it Dublin’s Bushy Park, beneath The backstory mentioned ‘Yes! Yes!’
have the space necessary for the blossom of the trees, whose earlier, told in the author’s He put the ring on her finger
plot development. inflorescences dangled in the gentle voice, could be brought into and she held her hand up to
Set in Dublin, it opens with breeze, Kieran suddenly stopped. this scene to enhance it. Here admire it. I’m getting married,
dialogue between a young ‘What’s up?’ Mary asked. is one suggestion: she thought, but then her stomach
husband and wife. Kieran is Kieran reached in his parka lurched.
in hospital and crying. Mary, jacket pocket and brought out a As they walked slowly through ‘What about my mother?’ she
never having seen him show small, red velvet box. Inside was Dublin’s Bushy Park, Mary said.
weakness before, tells him a diamond ring. He looked deep breathed in the blossom scent as ‘What about her? She’ll come
she loves him. The story then into Mary’s eyes. it wafted on the gentle breeze. round,’ Kieran said. ‘I’ve been in
moves into flashback. ‘Will you marry me?’ he said. Suddenly Kieran stopped, let go of and out of your house since I was
Eight months ago, in spring Mary froze. Then, as she her hand, and turned to face her. a kid.’
1990, Kieran had proposed comprehended what was ‘What’s up?’ she asked. ‘But she doesn’t know we’ve
marriage. They had known happening, she started crying Stunned, she watched as Kieran been seeing each other for the

48 Writers’FORUM #223
 If you’d like your Story Comp entry to be considered for a workshop, tick the box on the entry form or state it clearly in your email
past two years. She thinks we’re
just friends.’
Obviously, Peter can improve
on my attempt as he knows
his characters better than I do,
but the dialogue now brings in
the knowledge that they have
kept their relationship secret.
The next segment in the story
shows why they had to do so.,
Again though, it comes out via
the author’s voice:
The trouble was that Kieran was
a Protestant and Mary a Catholic.
These days it shouldn’t matter, but
it did to Mrs Doyle. Her husband
had died in the Troubles in 1972
and she couldn’t forgive, despite
being a faithful churchgoer.
When they arrive at Mary’s
house, Mrs Doyle makes her
feelings clear.
‘Mrs Doyle, we’re getting
married,’ Kieran blurted at tea.
The room fell silent, as if someone
had died.
‘Mrs Doyle, Mary and me, we’re
getting married,’ he repeated, a bit
louder, hoping for a smile. Mary
showed her the engagement ring.
‘Never!’ Mrs Doyle said
sharply. The woman got up,
spilling her tea.
‘Mum!’ pleaded Mary. ‘Kieran
is so good to me – and I love him!’
‘But he’s not right for us,’ her
mother replied. ‘He’s not right for
you. Remember your dad, God
bless his soul.’
Again, the information we
have been told could be shown
via dialogue, which would
flesh out the characters and
bring the religious division
starkly to the fore.
‘Mrs Doyle, we’re getting
married,’ Kieran blurted at tea.
The room fell silent, as if someone
had died.
‘Mrs Doyle, Mary and me, we’re
getting married,’ he repeated, a bit
louder, hoping for a smile. Mary
showed her the engagement ring.
‘Never!’ Mrs Doyle said
sharply. She got up, spilling her
tea.
‘Mum!’ pleaded Mary. ‘Kieran
is so good to me – and I love him!’
‘But he’s not right for us,’ her ‘How about a registry office arrives? Does he think of Mary
mother replied. ‘He’s not right for wedding?’ and the effect this might have
you. Remember your dad, God ‘I don’t know. It’d break my on her? Can he think at all, or
bless his soul.’ mother’s heart,’ Mary said. is the pain too intense?
‘Mum, that was years ago. ‘That woman!’ Kieran sneered. This is a pivotal scene in the
Everything is different now. It’s ‘OK, whatever you think,’ she story and needs more space
1990, not 1972!’ said. She smiled at him like she than a single paragraph to do
Mrs Doyle took a step forward. was sure. it justice.
‘Do you think I don’t know that?’
she hissed. ‘Not a day goes by that I would suggest fleshing out Happy ending?
I don’t think about what I lost the scene with the priest. Let The time in hospital is glossed
when that bomb went off. Your readers be there as the couple over in too short a scene.
dad was a good man and those approach the church to speak
heathens killed him.’ to the father. What do they say Instinctively, she started
to each other about their hopes praying. Yes, she prayed to save
Opposition and dreams? What are they her husband’s life. Meanwhile,
Kieran leaves to go home, thinking and feeling? How do the doctors prepared him for an
believing his own parents they react when they realise a emergency operation.
will be more understanding. church wedding is out of the Miraculously, after a week in
However, we later learn question? How much does it his bed, he started to heal himself.
that they do not attend the matter to them? The doctors were pleased and
wedding, so there must have surprised. And after a month he
been some opposition from Stabbed almost to death was discharged. He had survived!
that quarter as well. This is The wedding takes place with Thanks to expert science, and the
not covered at all. only the witnesses and no love of Mary.
I feel that Peter needs to family members from either
introduce a section where he side, but the pair are happy Peter misses out on the
goes with Mary to break the and very much in love. opportunity to show Mary
news of their engagement, However, a month later an and Kieran during the recovery
only to discover that his family incident occurs where Kieran period. It needn’t be a long
are as closed to the idea of very nearly loses his life. section, but he does need to
marrying across the religious Kieran confronts two men show how each reacts during
divide as Mary’s mother. he believes to be bullies who this time.
The unfortunate couple go are attacking a youth. When he Interestingly, the story ends
to a priest who is known for intervenes, the youth turns on not on a happy note but with
his more liberal approach, but him and stabs him with a flick a potential for deep conflict
even he cannot help them. knife. between husband and wife.
This is dealt with in one
But, without her [Mrs Doyle’s] paragraph and is told entirely Was it the grace of God at work?
blessing, Mary met Kieran at the from the author’s perspective. At their doorstep she crossed
church, to see Father O’Dowd, the I strongly advise Peter to put herself, just in case. Kieran stared
local minister. He was a liberal himself firmly in Kieran’s head and frowned.
minister, and said he would marry to rewrite the scene.
the couple. ‘But Kieran would have What does Kieran see? What This story would be more
to convert to Catholicism.’ does he think? Does he hesitate powerful if we could witness
‘I can’t do that,’ Kieran said. or run straight in? What does the transition of Mary from
‘Sorry.’ he feel when he sees the knife? non-religious to deep believer.
They walked to the park and How does he react? Is he If Peter could take the time to
held each other tightly. conscious when the ambulance show us developments from
Mary’s viewpoint, as she comes
round to believing that her
Fleshing out the scenes prayers played a part in this
Don’t worry too much about wordcount or carrying out miracle, it would set the reader
running edits as you write. Get the first draft down and then up for the conflict and make it
look at how it can be improved. Go through your story scene more realistic.
by scene. Does it need more or less dialogue? Can readers
visualise where something is taking place? Can you use the Rage and
scene to introduce any necessary backstory in a natural and Retribution, the
unobtrusive way? Can you enhance the characterisation by latest in the DI
showing the characters interacting a little more? Does the Paolo Sterling
scene help to drive the story onwards? Can you use a scene crime series by
to provide essential information that helps the reader to Lorraine Mace,
understand the theme? is published by
Accent Press
Writers’FORUM #223 49
 BRAINSTORM

Writers FORUM POETRY COMP

#223: LONELY
Here’s an extract from The Heart of the
Matter by Graham Greene:

He laid his pen down again and loneliness sat

across the table opposite him. No man surely
was less alone with his wife upstairs and his
mistress little more than five hundred yards
away up the hill, and yet it was loneliness that
seated itself like a companion who doesn’t need
to speak. It seemed to him that he had never
been so alone before.
There was no body now to whom he could
speak the truth… He moved his hand on the
table and it was as if his loneliness moved too
and touched the tips of his fingers. ‘You and I,’
his loneliness said, ‘you and I.’

Later, on All Souls’ Night, Scobie’s

wife Louise calls out to be reassured that
her husband will be coming with her to
communion the next day:

His loneliness was the only ghost his whisky

could invoke, nodding across the table at
him, taking a drink out of the glass. ‘The next
occasion,’ loneliness told him, ‘will be Christmas
– the Midnight Mass – you won’t be able to
avoid that you know, and no excuse will serve
you on that night, and after that’ – the long
chain of feast days, of early Masses in spring
and summer unrolled themselves like a
perpetual calender.
So the theme of our latest poetry
competition is ‘Lonely’ and you have a
maximum of 14 lines at your disposal. I
had chosen the theme before world events
overtook us, but it seems an even more
timely, and perhaps daunting, subject to
write about now, with many of us isolated
alone or cooped up with family.
Here are some poems about being lonely
that I hope will inspire you to write about
your own experience of being lonely –
wherever or whenever that has happened.
Remember, you don’t have to be
physically alone to feel lonely. And
perhaps, sometimes, there is a sweetness
about being lonely; especially if you know
it is only for a limited period of time.
The following lines are, of course, by
William Wordsworth. However well you
think you know them, read them again
and savour what Wordsworth is saying.
As you read, ask yourself how you might
use some of the same techniques in your
poem about loneliness.
I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.
The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed – and gazed – but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought.
The language used by Elizabeth Barrett
Browning might sound rather arcane to
modern ears, but surely the sentiments
she expresses here are timeless. If you are
feeling brave and have never tried to write
about your own death, perhaps have a go.
A Thought for a Lonely Death-Bed
If God compel thee to this destiny,
To die alone, with none beside thy bed
To ruffle round with sobs thy last word said
And mark with tears the pulses ebb from thee,
Pray then alone, ‘O Christ, come tenderly!
By thy forsaken Sonship in the red
Drear wine-press by the wilderness out-spread
And the lone garden where thine agony
Fell bloody from thy brow, by all of those
Permitted desolations, comfort mine!
No earthly friend being near me, interpose
No deathly angel ’twixt my face aud thine,
But stoop Thyself to gather my life’s rose,
And smile away my mortal to Divine!’
William Carlos Williams uses language
that feels much more familiar to us than
the words of Barrett Browning. This
poem always reminds me of an Edward
Hopper painting. Is there a painting that
makes you feel lonely? Or a song, a place,

50 Writers’FORUM #223
You can contact Sue at poetry@writers-forum.com
with poetry editor
Sue Butler
a food, a piece of clothing…? If so, use it as
inspiration for your poem
The Lonely Street
School is over. It is too hot
to walk at ease. At ease
in light frocks they walk the streets
to while the time away.
They have grown tall. They hold
pink flames in their right hands.
In white from head to foot,
with sidelong, idle look –
in yellow, floating stuff,
black sash and stockings –
touching their avid mouths
with pink sugar on a stick –
like a carnation each holds in her hand –
they mount the lonely street.
Or maybe there is a book or passage
that, however many times you read it,
overwhelms you with loneliness. In his
beautiful prose-style poem Lover’s Gifts,
Rabindranath Tagore speaks of reading
and being lonely with an honesty that
always takes my breath away. Might
you use your poem to explore one of the
questions that conclude this poem?
Lover’s Gifts
The evening was lonely for me, and I was
reading a book till my heart became dry,
and it seemed to me that beauty was a thing
fashioned by the traders in words. Tired I shut
the book and snuffed the candle. In a moment
the room was flooded with moonlight.
Spirit of Beauty, how could you, whose
radiance overbrims the sky, stand hidden
behind a candle’s tiny flame? How could a few
vain words from a book rise like a mist, and veil
her whose voice has hushed the heart of earth
into ineffable calm?
Good luck!
How to enter
Turn to page 53 for details of how to pay
and how to enter this month’s contest.
Notes: results will be delayed due to the
production break caused by the pandemic.
POETRY
EXPERIMENT
Time and friendship
Scobie knocked and walked right in where Yusef half lay behind his desk, his legs
upon it, dictating to a black clerk. Without breaking his sentence – ‘five hundred
rolls matchbox design, seven hundred and fifty bucket and sand, six hundred poker
dot artificial silk’ – he looked up at Scobie with hope and apprehension. Then he
said sharply to the clerk, ‘Get out. But come back. Tell my boy I see no one.’ He
took his legs from the desk, rose and held out a flabby hand, ‘Welcome Major
Scobie,’ then let it fall like an unwanted piece of material. ‘This is the first time you
have honoured my office, Major Scobie.’
‘I don’t know why I’ve come here now, Yusef.’
‘It is a long time since we have seen each other.’ Yusef sat down and rested his
great head wearily on a palm like a dish.
‘Time goes so differently for two people – fast or slow. According to their
friendship.’
‘There’s probably a Syrian poem about that.’
‘There is, Major Scobie,’ he said eagerly.
Your experiment this month is to write that Syrian poem mentioned in
this passage from Graham Greene’s The Heart of the Matter. Syria has a
strong tradition of written and oral poetry. Nizar Qabbani (1923-1998)
made women his main subject and inspiration. Following the suicide of
his sister to escape an arranged marriage, he used his poems to express
resentment of male chauvinism, often from a woman’s viewpoint, and
bravely advocated social freedom for women. Below are two of his poems
translated from the Arabic.
IN THE SUMMER ENTERING THE SEA
In the summer Love happened at last,
I stretch out on the shore And we entered God’s paradise,
And think of you Sliding
Had I told the sea Under the skin of the water
What I felt for you, Like fish.
It would have left its shores, We saw the precious pearls of the sea
Its shells, And were amazed.
Its fish, Love happened at last
And followed me. Without intimidation…with symmetry of wish.
So I gave…and you gave
And we were fair.
It happened with marvellous ease
Like writing with jasmine water,
Like a spring flowing from the ground.
POETRY WORKOUT
Heart-warming, myocardial infarction, Conrad’s Heart of
Darkness, take heart. Is your poetry’s heartland end-line rhyme
or free verse and which poets led you there?
1 Compose three linked haiku-style poems about three courses of
a hearty meal. Does the meal give you heartburn?
2 Write ten lines about your heart being broken without using one
cliché. And if your heart has never been broken, write about that.
3 Apparently hartebeest have lyre-shaped horns. Use a poem to
pluck… serenade… resonate… get lyrical.
4 What or who pulls at your heart’s strings?
Writers’FORUM #223 51
 POETRY

Poetry comp results with poetry judge Sue Butler

he winning poem has a clever title that works well

T on a number of levels. It also has a nice opening line

that contrasts well with the title. Simon Shergold says:
‘Daydreams have always been more vivid for me than
night dreams.’ Are you aware of any differences in dreams that
occur at different times of day… in different places… after you
have eaten different foods… or spent time with (or without)
different people? Try making difference the subject of a poem.

Highly commended
Dissent
Margaret Dudgeon, Corstorphine, Edinburgh
Dream denied.
£100 winner Derision? Deluded? Died?
Darkness descending.
Class Warfare Dawn.
Simon Shergold, Sutton, London
The title of Margaret Dudgeon’s poem is perhaps out of the same
Blah, blah, blah, blah, jjjj and slightly combative. But the poem itself is very different in
Long division or algebra? tone and in the kind of dream with which it deals. There are only
Pigeons peck dirt outside the glass, eight words here – with three of them being questions – and yet
Seagulls circle and land on dead grass. the more I read this poem the more unsettling I found it. Having
no obvious narrator added to the feeling of unease.
Ignoring with ease the chalky board, Are you able to answer the three questions? Allow yourself
My brain checks out, utterly bored. three stanzas each containing eight words.
Drifting away to far flung lands,
To touch the moon or drum in bands.
Highly commended
That droning voice goes on and on,
‘You’ll do well, if you listen, son.’ Where Dreams Go To Die
Listen to what? To who? To you?
No, my world is here; right on cue.
Juliet Humphreys, Uxbridge, London
Urgent bells tolling break the charm, I watch them face down,
Reverie broken, trance disarm. floundering in the dregs of a pint glass,
Science up next, nice windows there too, tiny hearts slowing.
Escape for a moment, anywhere will do.
When they’re gasping for breath,
Now I’m at the front, I’m the robot. all their colour gone
Hoping it’s different; knowing it’s not. I gulp them down with what’s left,
Some heads at right angles, looking away, swallow them whole
I bid them great travels, wherever they stray. before anyone sees.

In the air after goodbye

when we did not kiss
About the poet Simon Shergold, 43, teaches history in how easy it is for cataracts
a secondary school and says he is writing from personal to clear the way for stars.
experience as he admits to ‘having been somewhat of a Only then do I see
daydreamer as a pupil’. the trick of it,

52 Writers’FORUM #223

#221 Dreams
the bit I somehow missed
in the midst of imagining
waking up with you.
Like Simon, Juliet Humphreys is a teacher; she teaches English
in a school for pupils who have special needs.
’I thought it would be interesting to write about the end of a
dream,’ she says.
How and why do dreams end? How do you feel when a dream
ends? Have you ever been responsible for bringing someone’s
dream to an end? Try making the theme of a dream ending the
starting place for a poem.
Highly commended
Night Flight
Ann White, Sutton, Norfolk
The ground you tread across and through trailing vapour –
no matter.
The Downs drowsy before you, heavy with the drone of worker bees,
The hills rise near, yet still far away as in memory.
This is no memory, this is real. If only you can reach them.
All will be well.
Never mind, you have all night to navigate –
All night to be free, floating unfettered.
The bed stays where you leave it, unwanted.
Solid, built for the job. Beside it the bedside table
holds water, pills – out of reach.
All will be well.
Then there is no ground –
The air lifts your hair, caresses, supports your body.
Hold the feeling, hold the dream.
It shatters and scatters like a broken jigsaw.
You awake to your reality. Swallow the pills.
The starkness of this poem’s title ties in well with the final three
words. If the narrator had said ‘All will be well’ just once I
might have been convinced. But repeating the assertion made
me wonder if the narrator was trying to reassure him or herself
as well as the reader. And once I started to doubt that phrase
I began to wonder about the truth of other things the narrator
was saying.
Unsettling the reader is a brave and effective technique to
use. Is it something you have ever considered doing? If not,
have a try. Remember, you are aiming to unsettle – not utterly
confuse or bemuse.
HOW TO ENTER
Writers’FORUM
POETRY COMP
Enter our themed poetry contest
with a first prize of £100 and a
Chambers Thesaurus worth £40
ur themed poetry competition has a first prize of
O £100 and a Chambers Thesaurus for one winner.
A number of runners-up may also be published,
depending upon the nature of the contest and available
space. The entry fee is £7, including a brief, helpful critique
from poetry editor Sue Butler.
You can purchase an entry by following the link on the
Writers’ Forum website – www.writers-forum.com
■ Entry is strictly by email only, one poem per email.
■ The fee is £7 per poem, which includes a short critique from
poetry editor and judge Sue Butler.
■ Note! Poems should only be as long as needed. The
maximum is 14 lines but this is not a target. Be succinct.
■ We want to encourage new writing. Poems must be
your original work and previously unpublished, including
newspapers, magazines, books, pamphlets, websites etc.
The judge’s decision is final and no correspondence over results
will be entered into. By entering, entrants agree to these rules
and for their entries to be published in Writers’ Forum.
POETRY COMP 223: Lonely
Deadline: 12 noon GMT on Wed 13 May
Assignment: Read Sue’s detailed instructions on p50
and the rules above to write your poem.
How to enter
1 Pay online by following the link on our website
at www.writers-forum.com/poetrycomp.html
2 Send your entry either in the body of your email or attached
in a Word-compatible document (.doc/.docx/.rtf). PDFs are
also allowed if the format of your poem has to be precise.
3 Give your name, address and phone number at the end. Add
your web order confirmation number (from the email sent to
you after you pay online), plus a brief biography about yourself:
age, occupation, what inspired you, etc. And be ready to email
a nice author photo if you win!
4 In the subject line write Poetry Comp #223: followed by your
poem’s interesting and relevant title.
5 Send your email to poetrycomp@writers-forum.com by the
deadline above.
Repeat steps 1 to 5 for any additional poems you wish to enter,
one poem at a time. Good luck! The results will be published
once we return from the hiatus due to the cornavirus.
Writers’FORUM #223 53
DIRECTORY

Literary Relax and Write

Consultant
Friendly, professional
support for writers.
Karol Griffiths
Editor & Writing Coach.
Years of Experience working
with Bestselling Authors,
Screenwriters, Playwrights and
New Writers.
Reasonable Rates
For more information visit:
www.karolgriffiths.com
Editorial &
Critique Service
Realise your potential...
Award Winning short story writer and
published novelist, Debz Hobbs-Wyatt
provides copy editing, proof reading and
in-depth critique on short stories and novels.
Advice on narrative, style, voice, plot, pace,
dialogue etc., with suggested revisions and
ideas for placement. Affordable prices.
Free or discounted follow-up
after revision
Check out her website for more information
www.debzhobbs-wyatt.co.uk
Or email
writer@debzhobbs-wyatt.co.uk
Authors!
Would you prefer to be writing
and creating your stories
and articles than typing and
formatting?
Our experienced and dedicated staff offer:
‘RELAX & WRITE’ * Audio Services * Copy Typing Services *
Business Support * Formatting * Publishing
WEEKEND COURSES * Website Design for your book
POSTPONED UNTIL FURTHER Find out more about our friendly
efficient service. Call Julie or Tina on
NOTICE.
01367 246003.
info@mypavirtualservices.com
See Website www.mypavirtualservices.com
www.relaxandwrite.co.uk
Courses Page for list for
2020 and 2021 Titles & Dates,
Course Leaders & Venues,
to be arranged as soon as possible.
Please keep in touch.
Look after yourselves and write!
Look forward to Meeting
old friends & new in the future.
Contact Lois on 01454 773579
E-mail loisbm@aol.com
www.relaxandwrite.co.uk

Can’t see the wood

for the trees?
Tasha Harrison
Editorial Services
As an author and editor I can provide a
fresh perspective to help you develop and
tighten your novel and get it ready for
submission or self-publishing. Please see
my website for my credentials and more
on the editing services I offer.
www.tashaharrison.com/editorialservices
Email: tharrisonwriter@gmail.com
East by Northeast Literary
Magazine
is accepting submissions for its first
issue.
New and emerging writers and
visual artists may submit work in the
following genres: flash and short
fiction, creative nonfiction, poetry,
and visual art.
www.exneliterary.com
The print magazine is taking a break during
the lockdown and will return as soon as
trading conditions return to normal.
Our website remains OPEN and to advertise
please call Wendy Kearns on 01392 466099
or email advertising@writers-forum.com
The Mighty Pen
We can help with editing, proof
reading, research, writing
and more.
Affordable rates
www.themightypensupportforwriters.com
or email
info@themightypensupportforwriters.com
 Send your event listings three months ahead to diary@writers-forum.com
Literary diary AT HOME
Despite the cancellation of courses, book signings, author talks and festivals,
there are still events taking place online for writers, readers and creative minds.
Kate Medhurst lists a few things to keep you informed and inspired – from home
ONLINE FESTIVALS
A lot of authors are chatting on social media
too – look out for news of author live events on
Instagram, Facebook and Twitter via our Facebook
page @WritersForumMagazine
Virtual literary fest
MYVLF is the free global virtual literary
festival venue, connecting readers with
authors. Its online event space gives readers
access to the best of today’s literature and
fiction from internationally based traditional
and independently published authors.
https://myvlf.com
Big Book Weekend
8-10 May
Join a three-day virtual festival celebrating
the best of the cancelled British book festivals.
Supported by BBC Arts and co-founded by
the authors Kit de Waal and Molly Flatt,
expect interviews, performances, panel
discussions, ‘in conversation’ debates and
interactive sessions from some of the biggest
names in books, alongside debut authors and
rising talents.
https://bigbookweekend.com
Creative Network
Voluntary Arts has just launched a daily
online get-together #CreativeNetwork,
open to anyone involved in arts, culture
and creativity who would welcome the
opportunity to talk to others about dealing
with the current situation, the challenges
of working from home and what we can
do together to make the most of difficult
circumstances.
www.voluntaryarts.org/creativenetwork
Margate
The three-day online
festival runs from 8-10 May
VIRTUAL BOOK CLUBS
Reading Groups for Everyone
Head along to the Reading Groups for
Everyone website and search for your local
virtual book group.
https://readinggroups.org
Andrew Luck Book Club
Every month Andrew Luck (a former
American football quarterback) recommends
two books – one for younger readers and one
for older readers. Timelines and reminders
will be posted to make sure everyone is
on track to finish the books. Andrew also
interviews authors.
https://andrewluckbookclub.com/about
Book of the Month
This online book club, which runs on
Instagram, works like this: the hosts pick five
books and you pick your favourite. Discover
the best new books every month and post
your comments and tag #bookofthemonth for
a chance to be featured on the page.
www.instagram.com/bookofthemonth
Online Book Club
A free site for readers that has been around
for over 10 years. It features book and reading
forums so you don’t need to schedule a
specific book club meeting time in your day –
just dip in when you have the time.
https://onlinebookclub.org/
Margate Bookie
The organisers of the seaside literary group
asked its team what books they’ll be bunkering
DIRECTORY
down with. Ones that make them feel good
and help them through troubled times. The
ones they love…
https://margatebookie.com/
books-to-bunker-down-with/
PODCASTS
Vintage Books
Head to Vintage Books’ podcasts to hear
intimate conversations with authors and
guests about literature and writing. You can
listen to Jeanette Winterson, Francesca Segal,
AK Benjamin and more.
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/
vintage-books/id395664824
Guardian Books
The Guardian Books podcast is the
newspaper’s weekly look at the world of
books, presented by Claire Armitstead,
Richard Lea and Sian Cain. In-depth interviews
with authors from all over the world,
discussions and investigations make this the
perfect companion for readers and writers.
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/
the-guardian-books-podcast/id168200814
The New Yorker
This podcast from the famous magazine
features monthly readings and conversation
with the New Yorker fiction editor Deborah
Treisman. Listen to Margaret Atwood, Roddy
Doyle, David Sedaris and many more.
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/
the-new-yorker-fiction/id256945396
Cabin Fever Fables
Saraband Publishers’ new podcast is a place to
share stories and spread calm. It aims to find
out how authors are surviving isolation – from
what they’re reading to what they’re cooking –
and you can hear them read from their books.
https://saraband.net
Player FM
Player FM is the multi-platform podcast app
that helps you find shows on the topics you
care about and play them at your convenience.
Search for ‘authors’ and there’s a host of
author talks and discussions – play them
anytime that suits you.
https://player.fm/podcasts/Authors
Continued overleaf
▲
Writers’FORUM #223 55
 DIRECTORY

Typing - Editing - To Th e La st W or d
Proof Reading Edit or ia l Se r vice s
for Writers, Publishers
‘Gary Dalkin’s work
Manuscripts was-second-to-none
Fiction - Non-Fiction and resulted in me landing
a book deal within 6 weeks of
Kersty Evans 07908141882 his edit.‘
kerstyevans@hotmail.com CM Angus – author of
Overstrike
(out now from Elsewhen Press)

To get your manuscript perfectly

polished and ready for submission
or for self-publishing enquire for a
fixed, no obligation quote.

Te l: 0 1 2 0 2 5 7 9 6 4 0
M ob. 0 7 5 5 2 2 2 0 4 3 8
ga r y.da lk in @live .co.u k
w w w .t ot h e la st w or d.com
BOOK
PUBLISHING
Authors invited to submit
manuscripts all categories
including poetry
W RITERS SWAPSIES CLUB
LET ME POLISH
YOUR PROSE
Even the most prominent magazines and
newsletters sometimes have their credibility
ruined by poor spelling, grammatical
mistakes and basic errors in punctuation.
I am a former sub-editor on national and
provincial newspapers and am expert in
all of the above. You can send your text to
me by email and I’ll edit it for you, where
necessary, so that it shines. You need no
longer, therefore, have any concerns about

Are you a writer but find you just don’t get

New Authors welcome embarrassing errors that cause irritation
among readers or that damage your
enough readers? A.H. STOCKWELL LTD, reputation. I can edit anything from a simple
Join our club and play the game:
“I’ll read yours if you read mine” Dept. 857, Torrs Park, column to an entire magazine and will also
check for possible libel or other legal traps
Ilfracombe, into which it’s easy to fall.
I charge £12 per 1000 words.
INTERESTED? Devon, EX34 8BA.
Visit: www.writersswapsiesclub.co.uk Tel 01271 862557
Contact Carl at:
PS Just about any subject is okay, except that www.ahstockwell.co.uk anglo1948@btinternet.com
regrettably there is a ban on books on religion and Publishers for over 100 Years
also the occult.

My Finca – very beautiful.

Your writing – it needs space and peace and quiet.
And my food – delicious - will keep you fuelled so you keep on writing
Situated just outside Arta, NE Mallorca.
Available for writing groups for 5 days, up to maximum of 8 guests.
2 twin and 3 double bedrooms all with bathrooms.
Fabulously appointed house and grounds with private pool.
Superb local amenities from restaurants to shops,
50 minutes from Palma Airport.
Fully catered with onsite chef and household staff.
Your writing can start, continue and finish.
For full details, including photographs, please email writeonyourdoorstep@gmail.com
 Send your event listings three months ahead to diary@writers-forum.com DIRECTORY

HELPFUL NEW BOOKS

Intuitive Editing: A Creative and
Practical Guide to Revising Your
Writing by Tiffany Yates Martin
(£6.12, E3 Press)
doesn’t offer
one-size-fits-all
advice or rigid
writing ‘rules’.
Instead it helps
authors discover
what works for
their story and
their style, to
find the best
version of their
vision. Whether
you’re writing
fiction, narrative
non-fiction or
memoir, whether this your first story or
your 50th, Intuitive Editing will give you the
tools you need to edit and revise your own
writing with inspiration, motivation and
confidence. Published 5 May.

The Art of Creative Writing by Lajos

Continued from page 55
London Review Bookshop
A great podcast for listening to authors talk
and present. The London Review Bookshop
has hosted many live events and recorded
them for your listening pleasure. With over
200 episodes, there are plenty to choose from
including readings, debates and discussions.
https://play.acast.com/s/
londonreviewbookshoppodcasts
FREE ONLINE RESOURCES
Future Learn
Futurelearn has hundreds of courses available
on a diverse range of subjects. Courses vary
in length: most are six to ten weeks but
there are some shorter two- and three-week
options and there’s a host of free writing
courses to choose from.
www.futurelearn.com
Creative Live
Start learning for free with CreativeLive’s
range of live and on-air classes. You can also
sign up for monthly and annual passes for
on-demand classes – from Adobe Photoshop
to how to write a blog. All health and
wellbeing courses are currently free.
www.creativelive.com
BBC Languages
A free online language learning site, this
includes language courses, audio, video
Create brilliant characters with a
virtual course from Faber Academy
and games, including the alphabet, phrases,
vocabulary, pronunciation, grammar, activities
and tests.
www.bbc.co.uk/languages
ONLINE WRITING COURSES
Create Brilliant Characters
11 May – 7 June
This four-week online course helps you
understand the conventions of writing
characters and shows how to create more
engaging characters to keep your readers
hooked. It will expand your range of
techniques and challenge you to experiment
with your writing. It costs £120.
www.faberacademy.co.uk
Write a Compelling Memoir
11 June – 22 July
Through set texts and assignments, author
and essayist Lily Dunn will introduce
creative non-fiction and the use of fictional
technique to add colour, drama and texture
to fact-based stories. She will help you get
in touch with the heart of what you want to
write about and why, drawing it back to the
universal. From London writer development
agency Spread the Word, it costs £99.
www.spreadtheword.org.uk
The Professional Freelance
Journalism Course
British College of Journalism
This online journalism course offers you a
Egri (£12.31,
Citadel Press)
details the
acclaimed Egri
Method of creative
writing, which is
grounded in Egri’s
assertion that
‘Every type of
creative writing
depends upon
the credibility
of a character.’
The book shows
how to apply the method to all fiction
formats, from novels to screenplays, and
shares concise and clear advice on the
most important element of good writing –
characterisation. Published 28 July.
unique opportunity to develop the skills and
knowledge required to be a professional
freelance journalist or to indulge your passion
for writing as a profitable sideline. It is
conducted via email and delivered to you over
your choice of 12 or 24 weeks.
https://britishcollegeofjournalism.com
Freelance Journalism for
Magazines and Websites
UK Writers College
This freelance journalism course provides
a toolkit to help you launch yourself
as a professional writer in the UK and
internationally. You will produce two saleable
articles during the course and learn the skills
required to write for both magazines and
webzines. It costs £645 for all the modules,
which should taken between six and 12 months
to complete.
www.ukwriterscollege.co.uk

Writers’FORUM #223 57
 MOTIVATION

Emily Cunningham helps

you find the way forward
with your writing

THE

MENTOR
Am I clever enough to write?
I don’t think I’m intelligent enough to enter
short story and flash fiction competitions.
I want to progress as a writer and build a
name for myself while I complete my first
novel. However, I’m left with self‑doubt
whenever I read winning entries: I feel
like my ideas are not perceptive enough
in comparison. Also, thinking of original
imagery doesn’t come easily to me. these negative thoughts weigh heavily
when you’re trying to write or even just to
I was shortlisted in a writing contest last live your life, for that matter. Comparison

year, but I feel that was a fluke. Can you

really is the thief of joy.
I, too, feel a wave of despair when I read

offer any advice?

Lisa, Teesside
completely understand your fears, Lisa, journals: What if our work isn’t good enough?
something I know I couldn’t write myself.
And that ache of envy when someone like
Hilary Mantel scoops another award? It’s
so demoralising, you wonder why you
bother with your own efforts.
But judging your own achievements
against others is the road to nowhere. As
(award‑winning) author Angela Slatter
said: ‘Awards are nice – but I don’t judge

I and can I just say you are not alone. I

think you’re identifying emotions felt by
every writer, whether they are successful
or not yet recognised. The problem
comes when you exacerbate these fears
by imagining that established writers are
a breed apart, lofty, superior, living in a
realm completely inaccessible to you.
This is not true. Writers at the top of their
game suffer the same self‑doubt as you
do. As Sylvia Plath said in her unabridged
We get rejections. Isn’t this the world’s telling
us we shouldn’t bother to be writers? How can
we know if we work now hard and develop
ourselves we will be more than mediocre?
The fact that you were short‑listed is
evidence enough that you are talented; I
promise you it wasn’t a fluke. However,
this doesn’t take away from how you feel.
I know that the emotions you have are
valid. Feeling inadequate, unintelligent,
lacking in inspiration and originality – all
my success by whether I get any or not.
I’ve blogged about this a few times and it
basically comes down to the fact that an
award is something you cannot control
because it’s based on other people’s
opinions and tastes.
‘Awards are nice things to round out
your marketing, but if I win or do not
win an award, that doesn’t tell me I’m a
better or a worse writer. If you write in
the hope of validation by award, then

58 Writers’FORUM #223

That ache of envy
when Hilary Mantel
scoops another award?
It’s so demoralising
you should stop right now!’
I’m reminded of the ridiculous fact that
when Charlie Chaplin entered a lookalike
competition, he only came third! However
good you are, you’re at the mercy of other
people’s opinions, and Slatter is right, they
are only that: opinions.
Slatter also identifies that validation is
what every writer craves, and it seems
natural to assume that winning prizes will
bring that, but unfortunately it only briefly
assuages the nagging self-doubt.
Slatter continues: ‘By all means look at
successful writers and learn from them –
Send your letters to Emily at mentor@writers-forum.com
that’s what they’re there for, to act as
models of “here’s one we prepared earlier”,
rather than “oh, I wish I was [insert name
here], I’ll never be as good as her/him,
wah-wah-wah!” Never stop learning. At no
point in your career should you think “I
know it all – no one can tell me anything!”
There’s always something new to learn or
something to re-learn that you’ve started
taking for granted and kind of forgotten.
So, envy no one, learn from everyone.’
While you’re right that it’s a good idea
to keep immersed in the writing world by
entering competitions, perhaps you could
reframe the experience, Lisa?
Instead of having your hopes dashed
every time you don’t win, think of the
positives of the experience: you’re getting
your work out there rather than fretting
over it in private and it ensures that
you hone it as much as you can. OK, so
it wasn’t successful this time, but that
doesn’t mean it won’t be next time.
Take heart from author Janet Fitch’s
experience: ‘When I sold my first book,
a young-adult novel called Kicks, I had a
party and I put my rejections on the walls
of my living room. Including the hundreds
of short story rejections I’d gotten over
the years, and those from a book that
never sold, as well as the book that did,
they reached from the floorboards to up
over my head on all four walls. I look at
rejections as a badge of honor. Until you
have your first hundred, you’re not even
a real writer.’
To move on to the subject of originality,
it’s easy to downplay what you have to
offer, but everyone’s perception of life is
unique and because of this, fascinating
to others. From your earliest childhood
memory to your most embarrassing
moment, there’s opportunity to mine a
rich seam of original thought.
Anne Lamott, author of the writing
manual Bird by Bird says: ‘If something
inside of you is real, we will probably
find it interesting, and it will probably
be universal. So you must risk placing
real emotion at the center of your work.
Write straight into the emotional center
of things. Write toward vulnerability.
Risk being unliked. Tell the truth as
you understand it. If you’re a writer you
have a moral obligation to do this. And
it is a revolutionary act – truth is always
subversive.’
It’s human nature to be harsh about
your own attempts but you may discover
that your writing style fills a gap in the
market. Where you see unoriginality,
others may see clarity; where you see a
lack of perception, others may see bold,
fresh observations. Imagine the reviews
of your first novel: ‘An exciting new talent
from the North-East.’ I’m not joking, it could
come true.
I hope you can take some comfort
in my suggestions, Lisa. Try if you can
to keep optimistic about your writing.
Stop focusing on what it’s not and start
to appreciate what it is. That’s the way
forward.
Tips to take away
■  Tap into Lamott’s techniques by daring
to confess your darkest thoughts on
paper. See if you can shock yourself – it’s
guaranteed to be a juicy read for others.
■  Ursula Le Guin only hit pay dirt when
she branched into fantasy – consider
experimenting with genres you’ve not
approached before.
■  Pick a book at random that you have
never read – in your home or online.
Whether you love it or loathe it, you’ll
discover different writing styles and
shake up your reading habits.
Writers’FORUM #223 59
 AUTHOR KNOW-HOW
Research secrets
Matt Gaw explains to Anita Loughrey how he spent nights walking
through the dark to research his new book, Under the Stars
’ve been a journalist for
I about 15 years but slowly
drifted away from news
to write more about the
natural world. I contributed
to Elliott & Thompson’s
Seasons anthologies, edited by
Melissa Harrison. I then wrote
The Pull of the River, which
was published by Elliott &
Thompson in 2018. That book is
a travelogue of my experiences
paddling different waterways
around Britain in a homemade
canoe, looking at how rivers
can be a window into a whole
new world.
My second book, Under
the Stars, was published in
February and explores, through
a series of nocturnal walks, our
relationship with natural night.
It is about moonlight, starlight
and how the subtle shades of
darkness are under threat from
an artificially lit world.
My inspiration came from
something my son said when
I was trying to get him to bed
one night. He was 10 at the
time and pushing to stay up.
He’d hit me with the fact that
the average human spends
around 26 years of their life
asleep and I guess I kind of
agreed with him that it felt like
a bit of a waste of time!
I realised that although I’d
been out at night – camping or
toddling home from the pub
– I hadn’t ever gone out just to
experience night.
After a heavy snowfall, I
decided to do some research
and walk in King’s Forest near
my Suffolk home and I was
amazed at the changes that
happened as darkness slowly
began to rise, changes that
affected both the landscape
and my own body. I think
I realised then how much
60 Writers’FORUM #223
natural light there is at night;
how night isn’t a black bookend
to day, but a place of subtlety
and shades.
Walking the walks
Trying the different routes to
research the book was quite
an organic process. I started
off close to home, then went
further afield when I wanted
to explore both darker and
brighter landscapes. It was
tempting to get on a plane
and jet off somewhere remote
to find dark skies, but I really
wanted this to be a no-fly book.
Also, I think it’s important
that people can experience the
nightscape closer to home. It’s
about being honest, I guess,
showing people that there are
problems but there is beauty to
be found.
I felt safer the darker it was.
Apart from in Galloway Forest
where I had to sit and wait for
it to get lighter, for the most
part, once your senses have
adapted to darkness, it is easy
enough to navigate.
It’s strange, really; in some
ways your world is made
You don’t
need anything
apart from
a warm coat
and a flask
smaller – you operate in this
reduced bubble of visibility –
but in other ways it is infinitely
bigger. At night you experience
not only space but time; the
light from the stars has been
travelling for thousands of
years before it reaches your
retina.
I was really keen to
experience night in all seasons
and all weather as part of my
research. That first walk I did
in the snow, which was really
unplanned, was magical. There
is something ethereal about
the only light coming from
the glitter of snow. When I
travelled to Galloway and the
isle of Coll I was hoping for a
couple of clear nights as I was
focusing on starlight, but the
conditions in those regions
are always very changeable,
especially in late autumn and
winter. Thankfully I was lucky.
As for the equipment I took
with me, I was consciously
low tech. Part of the joy of
exploring the night is you
don’t need anything apart
from a warm coat and a flask
of tea. I bought a planisphere
and that was about it. I didn’t
want a torch or anything that
glowed as I was worried about
it impacting on my night
vision. Oh, and I had a pair
of binoculars, too – great for
moonbathing.
I went to Covehithe on
the east coast to walk in the
moonlight. I knew it well
beforehand, as I often go there
with my children. There’s a
magic to it, an atmosphere.
I think it probably comes
from how quickly the land
is eroding and changing – it
never feels like the same place.
I decided to go there as
I had been reading about
ancient myths of the moon
and the earliest recordings
of its movement – calendars
cut into bone and stone by
our ancestors – and was
taken by the idea of how the
moon represented the idea of
eternal life: always changing,
disappearing and then
returning. Covehithe seemed
to fit neatly with that, plus its
location and the flatness of
the surrounding countryside
meant I would be able to see
the sun set to the west and the
moon rising as if out of the sea.
Wildlife is most active at
dusk and dawn and I was lucky
enough to see an otter hunting
in Scotland and had some
memorable encounters later
with a huge, galloping herd of

deer in King’s Forest. I have
edited Suffolk Wildlife Trust’s
magazine for a number of years
so (hopefully) have a decent
foundation in natural history,
but I did need to do quite a bit
of additional research.
The main thing was looking
at how artificial light impacts
on different species, so I
read quite a few scientific
papers and also interviewed
academics working in the field.
Travis Longcore, one of the
first people to write extensively
about artificial light and
ecology, was very generous
with his time and illustrated
to me how our perception
of darkness is a world apart
from that of nocturnal species.
I recounted parts of our
conversation in chapter five of
the book, while exploring the
night close to my home.
I’m also really interested
in the folk history of species,
so used a lot of local natural
history and historical sources
when writing about nightjars.
I was walking the Lych Way
on Dartmoor (known as the
Way of the Dead, as coffins
were once carried along the
route) and found that nightjars
are sometimes called lych fowl
as it was believed that they
were the souls of unbaptised
children.
Taking notes
I’m a huge fan of notebooks. I
used Field Notes pads when I
was writing The Pull of the River
(they produced a waterproof
edition) and I used their pads
again for Under the Stars.
If I’m walking I’ll just make
quick jottings, descriptions
or thoughts that bubble to the
surface. I write them up as soon
as possible to make sure I can
expand on them accurately
and harness the feeling of that
moment. All my entries are
dated and the fronts marked
with the dates.
There’s a lot I learned.
Apart from new experiences
of moonrises and seeing the
brightness of the Milky Way
in places like Coll, I guess the
thing that came as the biggest
surprise was just how physical
it can be to experience night.
In the intro of Under the Stars
I write how you feel the body
responding to the changes
around you, the eye grasping
for light, the cones clicking
off, the rods clicking on. Also,
while in Galloway, the clouds
meant that for a time I was
in total darkness, which is a
strange sensation. It feels as if
the darkness actually enters
your skin.
My research tip to other
travel writers is to read
everything on your topic or
location – local guides, national
stories, folk stories, blogs,
scientific papers – then rip it all
up and write your own.
I try not to overplan the trip,
too. I’ll have a rough idea of
where I’ll start and where I
want to go, but I like to be open
to change. So, don’t be closed
off to the actual experience. If
you’re just marching from A to
B I think you lose something.
Research is absolutely
vital, but don’t be too led
by it. I try to write my story,
my experience, from notes,
before adding in additional
information. I find I’m less
likely to dive down rabbit holes
and the process also highlights
where I need to know more.
• See mattgaw.com or @Mattgaw
on Twitter and Instagram
LITERARY MARKETS
WRITING OUTLETS
with Janet Cameron
Quality story and poem sites
Cheat River Review
cheatriverreview.com
A good site for those who prefer
shortish pieces of writing, Cheat
River Review is looking for flash
fiction, poetry and micro poetry.
Tip: Just go for it. The editors say
there is no time like the present to
show your best work.
Submissions: Send one story of
up to 1000 words, and three poems or five pages of poetry
in a single submission. The editors read for the autumn edi-
tion from 21 August to 2 October and for the spring edition
between 15 January and 1 April. No email or postal entries
please; all work must be submitted via the Submittable link.
Read the guidelines carefully.
Tuesday Magazine
tuesdaymagazine.com
This magazine is produced
by Harvard University but
positively encourages sub-
missions from the public.
They have specific reading
periods but are in the pro-
cess of updating their guidelines so please check the site.
Tip: They ask for material that is fresh and contemporary.
Submissions: Submit short stories from 2000 to 8000
words and up to five poems in any genre or form, but not
translations. Send your work as an attachment to submit@
tuesdaymagazine.com. Again, they have precise guidelines so
read these carefully before submitting.
The First Line
www.thefirstline.com
Published four times a year,
this literary journal runs
to 100 pages, and an elec-
tronic subscription costs
$3 per copy. If your fiction
is successful, they will pay
you $25-$50 on publication Each quarter, writers are pro-
vided with a first line to spark their imagination and this
chosen first line is compulsory.
Tip: If writing from a given first line doesn’t work for you,
try their sister journal, The Last Line…
Submissions: Stories should be between 300 and 5000
words, and all genres are considered. Send as an attachment
with a covering email to submissions@thefirstline.com
• Janet’s book Eighteen Amazing Women Philosophers is
available as an ebook from Amazon and in paperback.
Writers’FORUM #223 61
 COMP CALENDAR
Competitive Edge
Stand out – in
a good way!
This time we hear from
competition judge and entrant
Fran Tracey…
To paraphrase the
wonderful Joni Mitchell, I’ve
seen writing competitions
from both sides now. I’ve been
both judge and entrant for writing
competitions. Most recently I
judged the Nottingham Writers’
Club competition in 2018. It
was an insightful and enjoyable
experience.
I received 12 shortlisted
entries on the theme ‘Choose
a season’, a nice, open brief,
and I was asked to write a short
report on each entry and an
overall judge’s report. I read
through them all a few times,
then set them aside to ponder
on for a few days. They were all
very different in tone and subject
matter, and I wanted to give
myself time to compare their
relative strengths.
The standard was very high.
The winner was a darkly comic
tale set on an allotment. I loved
the main character’s strong voice
and the juxtaposition of the day-
to-day ordinariness with murder.
I’ve been lucky enough to be
winner and runner up in several,
comps including the Writers’
Forum flash fiction competition
last year. Most recently I’ve been
entering the Reedsy weekly
competition which gives a few
prompts. I rarely enter open
competitions. I do like a prompt
or a theme.
I also like a close deadline. I
find both elements concentrate
the mind and cut down on
prevarication. For me it often
results in a tighter story. I’ve been
62 Writers’FORUM #223
shortlisted twice in the last few
weeks and received some lovely
feedback from other Reedsy
people.
In my entries I aim for feelings
and emotions that others can
relate to, even if they haven’t had
that experience, to bring them
close to the main character and
feel his or her pleasure or pain.
Besides the obvious tip –
following all the rules – my
suggestions for entrants are:
■ Aim for a strong voice. The
winning entry in the Nottingham
Writers’ competition had a
striking voice. In this case it was
also increasingly dark as the story
progressed and took twists and
turns – deliciously so.
■ If writing to a theme, stick
to it, but at the same time try
to be a bit offbeat. If you go for
ordinary in terms of setting or
character, ensure your tone or
voice is more unusual. I always
draw up a list or mind map of
ideas before committing myself,
and discard the most obvious
ones. If I’ve thought of it quickly,
others will have too. You want
your entry to stand out – in a
good way. Surprise the judge.
■ Don’t spell everything out. Be
subtle. Encourage the reader to
work. The ending doesn’t need
to be completely tied up – an
element of mystery works well in
a competition entry.
■ Send your entry in early. Don’t
follow the Douglas Adams
approach and let deadlines
‘whoosh by’.
Fran Tracey
Comp of the Month
Frome Festival is sadly cancelled
but its writing competition is
going ahead. It closes at the end
of May, so you have a while to
hone your stories and, with a
minimum of 1000 and maximum
of 2200 words, you have plenty
of scope. Entries must be
unpublished and the fee is £8
per piece, with the option of a
critique at £47. This year’s judge
is the author, journalist and
broadcaster Bel Mooney.
Prizes are £400, £200 and
£100, with local first place and
runner-up prizes. See www.
fromeshortstorycompetition.
co.uk for more details.
Morgen’s Farewell
Yes, that’s right. It’s been a
fabulous couple of years but I’m
stepping away to concentrate
on my writing. I’m sure you can
all relate to that. I’m delighted
that editor and author assistant
Caroline Vincent will be taking
over this column from next issue.
I will leave you with my
favourite statistic: 300 words a
day equates to 109,500 words a
year. So if you start your novel
– or collection of short stories,
poem or non-fiction project –
now, you’ll have a very healthy
wordcount by this time next year.
I have a nerdy Excel spreadsheet
to catalogue mine.
Keep writing. You can’t edit
a blank page! Writing in any
form is therapeutic, especially if
you’re having a bad day. And with
everything that’s going on in the
world, we could all do with that.
Thanks to all my wonderful
guests, and you, the readers.
■ Do send Caroline your
recommendations for ‘Comp
of the Month’ as well as other
competitions we could include.
She would also love to know how
you’ve got on with comps listed in
these pages or elsewhere. Get in
touch at the email address above.
Send your success stories, questions and tips to Morgen at comps@writers-forum.com
with writer, editor and
competition judge Morgen Bailey
ONGOING COMPS
Furious Fiction Monthly
Flash Fiction Competition
First Friday of each month
Story: 500 words or less. Rules:
Aged 17-plus. Prize: AUD$500.
Details: see www.writerscentre.
com.au/furious-fiction
London Independent
Quarterly Story Prize
Quarterly (May etc)
Story: 1500 words max. Flash
fiction: 300 words max. Script:
30 pages max. Fee: £7; £10; £15.
Prizes: £100 (story/flash); Final
Draft software (script). Details:
see www.londonindependentstory-
prize.co.uk/project-08
WriteTime Short Story
Competition
Quarterly (end June etc)
Story: 1500 words max. Fee:
£3; £5 for two. Prizes: £50; 2 x
£25 plus publication. Details: see
www.writetime.org
COMPS NOW OPEN
North Street Book Prize
Closes 30 Jun
Novels/non-fiction/poetry
or short story collection/
picture book: 200,000 words
max. Fee: $65. Prizes: $5000;
$1000; $250 plus other prizes.
Details: see winningwriters.
com/our-contests/north-street-
book-prize
Nowhere Magazine
Spring Travel Writing
Contest
Closes 15 Jul
Non-fiction/poem/story:
800 to 5000 words. Fee: $25.
Prizes: $1000; publication for
top 10. Details: see nowhere-
mag.com/contests.
Olga Sinclair Prize
Closes 16 Jul (postal),
31 Jul (email)
Story: 2000 words max. Fee: £9
for first, then £7. Theme: ‘News’.
Getting ready to publish…?
Our manuscript feedback services can help:
Chapter-by-Chapter Feedback
Editorial support, one chapter at a time
Manuscript Feedback
An editorial critique of your first 100 pages
Full Manuscript Feedback
An editorial critique of your complete manuscript
Prizes: £500; £250; £100 plus
Copy-editing
publication. Details: see norwich- Smoothing the reader’s path, line-by-line
writers.wordpress.com/the-olga- Proofreading
sinclair-open-short-story-compe- A final polish of spelling, punctuation and grammar
tition
And if you need it
COMPS CLOSING SOON Complete ‘done for you’ self-publishing services
24 MAY
Discuss your book with Publishing Assistant Alice van Raalte
SmokeLong Quarterly E: enquiries@silverwoodbooks.co.uk | T: chat via Skype
Award for Flash Fiction
Story: 1000 words max. Fee:
www.silverwoodbooks.co.uk
$15.50 up to two stories (early
bird $13.50 to 26 Apr). Prizes:
$2000; $200; $100 plus publication.
Details: see www.smokelong.
com/the-smokelong-quarterly-
award-for-flash-fiction
26 MAY
International Welsh
Poetry Competition
Poem: 50 lines max. Fee: £5
(£6 PayPal). Prizes: £500; £250;
£100; 17 mentions. Judge: Sally
Spedding. Details: see www.
welshpoetry.co.uk
30 MAY
Lucent Dreaming Poetry
and Short Story Contests
Poem: 56 lines max. Story: Postgraduate Diploma in
2000-7500 words. Fee: £4 (FREE
to low-income writers). Prizes:
Creative Writing
£100 plus poetry or fiction bundle,
publication, merchandise, editing; CENTRE FOR LIFELONG LEARNING
£50 plus publication, merchandise; ONLINE STUDY
£25 plus publication, merchandise.
Details: see lucentdreaming.com/
lucent-dreaming-2020-short-story-
and-poetry-contests Contact Us
Telephone: +44 (0)1904 328482
▲
Continued overleaf Email: lifelonglearning@york.ac.uk
Web: york.ac.uk/creative
 COMP CALENDAR Listings should be sent three months in advance to comps@writers-forum.com
Continued from page 63
Well known for their Writing
31 MAY
Competitions, Fish Publishing
Blue Pencil Agency
also offer First Novel Award
Novel: First chapters up to 5000
FISH is an open door that’s inviting writers to walk through. words in any adult fiction genre,
- Roddy Doyle - plus 300-word synopsis and cov-
ering letter. Fee: £20. Prizes:
£1000 plus agency introduction;
Editorial Services to writers and poets £250 plus MS editorial review;
agency introduction. Details: see
Critique Service bluepencilagency.com/bpa-first-
novel-award-2020
Editorial Consultancy
Mentoring Service Bridport Prize
Flash: 250 words max. Poem:
Screenwriting Consultancy 42 lines max. Short story: 5000
words. Novel: 5000 to 8000
words. Fee: £9; £10; £12; £20.
Prizes: £1000, £500, £250, 3 x
£100 (flash); £5000, £1000, £500,
10 x £100 (poem and short story);
Online Writing Courses £1000 plus mentoring, written
Short Story report, potential agency represen-
tation (novel). Details: see www.
Memoir bridportprize.org.uk or write to
The Bridport Prize, PO Box 6910,
Flash Fiction Bridport, Dorset DT6 9BQ
Poetry Shooter Literary Magazine
Screenwriting Short Story Competition
Short story: 5000 words max.
Fee: £7; £10 for three. Prizes:
£400; £100; plus publication.
Details: see shooterlitmag.com/
competition
Fish Publishing is an independent publishing
company based in the West of Ireland. It was Yeovil Literary Prizes
started in 1994 by Clem Cairns and Jula Walton Novel: synopsis and opening
with the ambition to encourage and promote new chapters, max 15,000 words.
writers. With Clem still at the helm, the original Short story: max 2000 words.
Poem: max 40 lines. Writing
focus remains and many writers who have swum
without restrictions: any
into Fish’s net have sprung from there into format, eg letter, recipe, science
successful writing careers. piece, advert, label, essay, biogra-
phy, mini-saga. Fee: £12 (novel);
£7 (short story); £7/£10/£12 (one/
two/three poems); £5 (WWR).
For more information please visit
Prizes: £1000, £250, £100
www.fishpublishing.com (novel); £500, £200, £100 (story
and poem); £200, £100, £50
(WWR). Details: please see
www.yeovilprize.co.uk or write to
Fish is doing God’s own work. It’s an inspiration and YCAA, The Octagon Theatre,
Yeovil BA20 1UX.
an avenue to writers everywhere.
– FRANK McCOURT – 1 JUN
NAWG 100x100
Competition
Flash fiction: exactly 100 words.
Fee: £3 for one, £5 for two.
64 Writers’FORUM #223
Prize: £100. Details: see www.
nawg.co.uk/competitions
Queen Mary Wasafiri
New Writing Prize
Poem: three poems max. Mem-
oir/story: 3000 words max.
Fee: £10; £16 for two, £6 subsi-
dised. Prize: £1000; mentoring;
publication. Details: see www.
wasafiri.org/new-writing-prize
15 JUN
Cambridge Prize for
Short Stories
Short story: 3000 words max.
Fee: £8 (to 14 May); £9 (15 May
to 15 Jun); subsidies for low
income. Prizes: £1000; £300;
£200; £50; publication. Details:
see theshortstory.co.uk/competi-
tions/short-story-competition
Segora International
Writing Competitions
Poem: 50 lines max. Vignette:
300 words max. Script: 35 mins
max. Story: 1500-3000 words.
Fee: £5 for one, then £2.50 (poem/
vignette); £12, then £23 (script);
£8, then £6 (story). Prizes: £300,
£100, £50 (poem); £100 (vignette);
£150, £50 (script); £300, £100, £50
(story). Details: see poetry-
proseandplays. com
UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED…
Theme and genre are open. Entries
should be original and unpublished.
Postal entries should be printed on
white A4 in a clear plain font. Include
a separate cover sheet with the title,
wordcount, your name, address and
postcode, phone and email. Stories
should be double-spaced with good
margins. Where necessary include
a large enough sae with sufficient
postage. Always contact the organiser
or check their website to confirm
details. Writers’ Forum does not
accept responsibility for errors in or
changes to the information listed.
 DELIVERED TO YOUR DOOR
Subscribe for 12 issues†
and receive
a copy of
On Writers
and Writing by
internationally
acclaimed author
Plus FREE
Margaret Atwood ENTRY to
the FLASH
†
While stocks last. Due to postage costs the COMP!
book offer is for full UK subscriptions only

Subscribe now, save money and find information and inspiration on your doorstep!
Call 01202 586848 ฀ Visit www.selectmagazines.co.uk ฀ or return this form to:
Subscriptions, PO Box 6337, Bournemouth BH1 9EH
12-ISSUE SUBSCRIPTION PAYMENT DETAILS Choose one of the following three options
UK £38 Europe £49 World £56
1 I enclose a cheque for £ made payable to ‘Select Publisher Services Ltd’
OTHER OPTIONS UK ONLY
6 issues £20 2 Please debit my Visa Mastercard Maestro by £
3 issues £9.50 by Direct Debit (see form)
Card no
BINDERS I would like @ £6.50 (see below)
Valid from Valid to Issue no Security no (on back)
START DATE Please start the subscription in
Signature Date
Month Year

YOUR DETAILS 3 Quarterly payment of £9.50 every 3 issues (UK only)

Instruction to your bank or building society to pay by Direct Debit
Name
Please fill in the form and send to:
Select Publisher Services Ltd, PO Box 6337, Bournemouth BH1 9EH ฀ ฀ 3฀ ฀8 ฀7 ฀ 7
Service user number 8 3
Address
Name and full postal address of your bank or building society.
To: The Manager, Bank/building society
Postcode Address
Phone Postcode Name(s) of account holder(s)

Email Branch sort code Account number

DELIVERY DETAILS (if different) (Official use only) Reference

Name Instruction to your bank or building society

Please pay Select Publisher Services Ltd Direct Debits from the account detailed in this instruction subject
to the safeguards assured by the Direct Debit Guarantee. I understand that this instruction may remain with
Photo Jean Malek

Address
Select Publisher Services Ltd and, if so, details will be passed electronically to my bank/building society.

Signature Date
Postcode Banks and building societies may not accept Direct Debit instructions for some types of account.

KEEP YOUR MAGAZINES PRISTINE MARKETING PREFERENCES

Grab our sturdy red binders with the Writers’FORUM logo up the Please tick if you DO want to receive other
information from Select Publisher Services.
£6.50 spine. To order just add £6.50 per binder to your total or choose the Please tick if you DO want to receive information
for subscribers binder option on our website. Non-subscribers can order binders for from our advertisers and other companies.
inc p&p For information about how we manage personal data,
£7.50 inc p&p by calling 01202 586848 or at www.selectmagazines.co.uk please see https://www.selectmagazines.co.uk/privacy-policy
 WRITING ROOMS
Where I write
Phil Barrington chats to ex-prison officer,
now full-time writer, Ross Greenwood
could write anywhere, but I need silence,
I which rules out most places – including
my own house a lot of the time. My son
was only a baby when I wrote my first
book. He now gets up at 6am and there’s
nothing quiet about our home from then
on. Thank God for schools.
We live in a house that used to be a
shop, and I wrote my first book in the old
stockroom, a dingy place with no natural
light. For my second, I moved into our
dining room, pictured, and just have
my laptop set up there. It has three big
66 Writers’FORUM #223
windows and looks out on to two horse
chestnut trees. I much prefer it but it’s
driven my wife Amanda mad because it
seems I have two offices. I get told off for
too much encroaching mess. She worries
I’ll move on to the lounge next.
My original office has morphed into
a dumping ground, as you can see. I
sometimes watch movies in there. My
favourite thing about the room is the
cobwebs in the corners. Amanda would
like a loft conversion so she can get rid of
me. That sounds great, but I’d need to sell
a lot more books to pay for it.
With young kids, I’m often surrounded
by drying washing and clothes horses.
I can cope with that. It’s the quiet and
lack of interruption I need. When my son
comes in for the 57th time to update me
on who’s winning in his latest dinosaur
Armageddon, I feel bad for thinking please,
just leave me alone.
Whenever I’ve done talks and events
I get canvases made up with the book
cover on – Wowcher do them for about a
tenner – and afterwards I stick them on
the wall of my original office, along with
the odd award. It feels a bit pretentious but
it’s a reminder of what I’ve achieved. To a
certain degree, whether a book is good or
not is immaterial. It’s a big commitment to
write that many words, tidy them up and
go on to get it all published.
I much prefer the writing to the editing
process. I have to concentrate really hard
for the latter, whereas with writing it’s
just going with the flow. I really need no
interruptions then. My parents own a
chalet on a hillside park in Cromer. It’s like
a little wooden hut. Every once in a while,
I take the dog and my laptop and spend a
few days on my own, getting loads done.
I’d really like one of those sheds people
have in their garden, but our back yard
is so small it would be like a prison cell.
Talking of which, I was a prison officer
for four years and think I could write in a
cell. There’s a little table and even though
it would be noisy all the time, I think that
environment would be quite inspiring –
assuming you had a single cell, of course,
and weren’t sharing with Flatulent Bob,
the wing psychopath.
I was still working in the prison when
I wrote my first book. I used to get up
at 4am and write for a few hours before
everyone else woke, and then go and do
my shift. In summer that time is brilliant
for writing, while everyone else is asleep.
I occasionally do it now, but you make do
with what you’ve got.
If I have a deadline, Amanda keeps the
children out of the way. Being a writer
involves a few sacrifices, but often the
other people in your life have to sacrifice
things as well. Without my wife’s support,
it would be much harder to find the time.
My latest book is a detective novel
set in Peterborough. I don’t like clichéd
characters in books, so the detective
inspector is a normal man with everyday
problems. It makes a nice contrast to the
killers he investigates.
As it’s set where I live, it’s easy to
imagine the killers going about their
daily lives. I should do a story set in the
Maldives, but that might be pushing it.
Paramedic Chris
Childre n’s Book
Ideal present aimed at 4-10
year old children educa�ng
upon the work of the
Ambulance Service

Now available on audio format with 50% of audio sales going to

local foodbank and dona�on to a local children’s hospice.
www.�mparsons.co.uk/store
Paramedic Chris-
A Helping Hand A Sorry Bully Paramedic Chris
by Tim Parsons by Tim Parsons by Tim Parsons

Available from:
Amazon.co.uk
Waterstones.com
Foyles.co.uk
Gardners.com
And other online retailers
 How to Make the Most
Out of Your Writing!

Being a writer can offer you a What’s more, you do not need any earn back the equivalent of your fees
second income, extra spending previous writing experience to by the time you finish your course we
money or it can even be a full-time succeed on the course as it’s suitable will refund them in full.
career. It’s your choice. But whatever for the absolute beginner. So, if you would like to learn how to
your writing ambitions, we have a Throughout the course you will be earn from your writing, try our risk-
course that will help you to achieve tutored by a professional writer, free course. For a free prospectus visit
them. who will offer constructive feedback our website or call our freephone
on your twenty marked assignments. number TODAY!
That’s because our first-class home- In addition, you can count on the
study creative writing course contains support of our dedicated Student www.writersbureau.com
all you need to know to become a Services team who will do all they
successful, published writer. You learn can to ensure that you get the most 0800 856 2008
how to write articles, short stories, out of your studies. Quote HB620
novels, TV, radio, drama and more. Why not embark on a exciting writing
You are shown how to develop your When you enrol, your full course is
journey of your own? Enrol on The Writers
writing style, present your sent to you on a fifteen day trial. Bureau's Creative Writing course and you
manuscripts, contact editors, find Your studies are then flexible to your could be soon writing your own success story?
markets and HOW TO SELL YOUR requirements. Moreover, we offer you Course fees: £444 or
WORK. a full refund guarantee. If you do not £48 deposit + £18 p&p = £66 then £66
“The Writers Bureau course has “The course has given me, not only each month for the following six months.
given me the confidence to become the confidence, but the opportunity
self-employed – something I never to experiment with different writing
thought I'd be brave enough to do – styles and techniques. The writing Members of
and I love the freedom, flexibility assignments have encouraged me to
Writers
Bureau 31 Years of
Success
ITOL and NAWE
and variety that this brings to my work outside of my comfort zone,
life. So far I've earned over £1,400 and to write about subjects, and for www.facebook.com/thewritersbureau
www.twitter.com/writersbureau
and I've appeared live on ITV's This Morning. The markets, that I would never have considered.
course was challenging and enjoyable. My tutor Although it’s only been nine months since I started email: W1@writersbureau.com
was so kind, encouraging and helpful. Thank you, the course, I have earned £500 from writing and
Writers Bureau, it has been an absolute pleasure. I’m awaiting further payments.” Please send me free details on how I can become a writer.
You've changed my life.” Laura Ansbro Mike Smith No stamp required. We do not share your
details with others. HB620

Get Your FREE PROSPECTUS Today! Name . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

(BLOCK CAPITALS PLEASE)
Address . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

www.writersbureau.com
#

..........................................................
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Post
. . . .Code
..................
FREEPHONE 24 HOURS Quote: HB620 Email . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
0800 856 2008 Freepost THE WRITERS BUREAU