The Tragic Tale of Ruddy Wee Hoody

Part 1
There was this young girl called ., actually I don't know what she was called (1) (be called) really,
because I only ever heard (2) (hear) her being called by her nickname - 'Ruddy Wee Hoody', at least I
think it was her nickname. It was how they usually referred (3) (refer) to her in the village, anyway. I
always assumed (4) (assume) that it came (5) (come) from the red hooded top that she wore (6)
(wear), day in day out, wherever she went. But I might have been wrong. Anyway, one day her
mother told (7) (tell) her to take a basket filled with goodies to her granny, who happened (8)
(happen) to live on the other side of the forest. Sorry, I forgot to tell you that this girl lived (9) (live) in
a small coftage on the edge of a big forest, and that she had spent (10) (spend) all her life there, up
until that fateful day. She set (11) (set) off in a happy mood. The sun was shining (12) (shine) through
the trees, the birds were singing (13) (sing). It was just as though everyone was waiting (14) (wait) for
Walt Disney to come and draw the scene. What could (15) (can) possibly spoil such a perfect day?
What indeed? While she was walking (16) (walk) through the forest, she saw (17) (see) a wolf
strolling (18) (stroll) slowly towards her, humming something to himself. A minute or so earlier, the
wolf had been watching (19) (watch) her from behind a tree, and had thought (20) (think) to himself,
'She'd make a nice juicy meal'. But as he didn't want (21) (not want) to frighten her off he had
decided (22) (decide) to play it nice and cool, and so the nonchalant walk.
Part 2
As he approached the little girl, she remembered (1) (remember) what her mother had told(2) (tell)
her before she left the house. That on no account was (3) (be) she to stop or dawdle on the way, or
to talk to strangers. But the wolf looker(4) (look) such a handsome creature that she though (5)
(think) to herself, 'He's not like a real stranger.' So when he asked (6) (ask) her where she was going
(7) (go) on such a fine day, she innocently replied (8) (reply) that she was (9) (be) on her way to visit
somebody on the other side of the forest. 'And who are you going to visit, Little Girl?', ebquired (10)
(enquire) the wolf inquisitively. 'It's WHOM!', said the girl petulantly. 'One says, "WHOM are you
going to visit?"'. She could be a pedantic little miss on occasion, our Ruddy Wee Hoody. But then
thinking that perhaps she had hurt (11) (hurt) his feelings, she relented(12) (relent) and told him she
was going to her gran's.
The wolf needed(13) (need) a bit of time to carry out the plan he had though (14) (think) up on the
spot, so he told (15) (tell) her that up ahead there was (16) (be) a clearing full of beautiful bluebells,
and what a good idea it would be (17) (will be) to pick some to take to her gran. When she protested
(18) (protest) that her mother had told (19) (tell) her never to pick wild flowers, he laughed(20)
(laugh) and said that there were (21) (be) thousands of them, and that nobody was going to (22)
(going to) miss a dozen or so. With which he (23 disappeared) (disappear) into the forest, whistling to
himself a tune from 'Oliver', his favourite musical - 'Food, glorious food'.
Part 3
When he arrived (1) (arrive) at her granny's cottage, which was only a few minutes later as
he had taken (2) (take) a short cut, he knocked (3) (knock) on the door. And before the poor
unfortunate woman Realised (4) (realise) what was happening (5) (happen), the wolf burst
(6) (burst) into the cottage, grabbed (7) (grab) the old lady and gobbled (8) (gobble) her up in
one go, just like that. Then he got (9) (get) into her night clothes, and jumped (10) (jump)
into the old lady's bed. Having eaten (11) (eat) the little girl's granny, the wolf now was
feeling (12) (feel) slightly better, but it was the little girl that the wolf was looking (13) (look)
forward to really, because, which I think I've forgotten to tell you, Ruddy Wee Hoody was
(14) (be) rather a plump young girl, and promised (15) (promise) to be a bit more nourishing
than her old gran, who was (16) (be) to be honest, a bit on the skinny side. Not long after,
the little girl herself arrived (17) (arrive) at the door. She was (18) (be) a bit out of breath
because she had been running (19) (run). "Hopefully that's the last I've seen of that wolf,'
she muttered (20) (mutter) to herself, wondering if in fact he wasn't perhaps a little strange
after all. Famous last words! Before she even had time to ring the bell, she heard a voice.
'Come on in dearie, it's open', said (21) (say) the wolf, who had been watching (22) (watch)
her walk up the path, from the bedroom window. That's funny', thought (23) (think) the girl,
'her voice seems a bit deeper than usual. Perhaps she's got a cold.' Then she remembered
(24) (remember) that her mother had told (25) (tell) her that her gran was (26) (be) ill, and
that was why she was taking (27) (take) her the food.

Part 4

And when she saw (1) (see) her gran propped up in bed, it was true, she didn't seem(2) (not seem)
to be quite her usual self. She was wearing (3) (wear) her usual night gown alright, and her enormous
nighteap. But there was something about her that wasn't (4) (not be) quite right. Her eyes seemed
(5) (seem) bigger than normal, and so did her ears, not to mention her enormous hooter. And just as
Ruddy Wee Hoody was starting to say something about her gran's rather large teeth, before she
could (6) (can) even get the words out, the wolf decided (7) (decide) that enough was enough, that
he couldn't keep (8) (can't keep) this up any longer, so he jumped (9) (jump) out of bed,
remembering a phrase he had read (10) (read) in some nursery rhyme or other, and which sounded
(11) (sound) rather appropriate to the occasion. 'All the better to eat you with', he snarled (12)
(snarl). Ruddy Wee Hoody was (13) (be) quick to retort: 'Shouldn't that be "All the better with which
to eat you"?". 'Yeah, whatever, Snapped (14) (snap) back the wolf, by now thoroughly fed up with all
this constant grammatical criticism, and he quite literally wolfed (15) (wolf) her down, right there on
the spot. Now some people say that this sort of story has to have a happy ending, and insist that a
hunter happened (16) (happen) to be passing at that very moment (as they often do in fairy stories),
and being a quick-witted sort of chap, had opened (17) (open) up the wolf and had rescued (18)
(rescue) both the unfortunate victims before you could say 'Jack Robinson'. But there's another
darker theory that questions whether Ruddy We Hoody was quite what she seemed, and rumour has
it that at this very moment she whipped (19) (whip) out a gun that for some reason she had been
carrying (20) (carry) in her knickers that day, and that she shot (21) (shoot) the wolf stone dead. And
there's yet another version, which suggests that Ruddy Wee Hoody met (22) (meet) a sticky end at
the hands of an egomaniacal woodchopper, who, not having read (23) (not read) the story, didn't
realise (24) (not realise) that he was (25) (be) meant to save her. What's more, he had seen (26) (see)
her picking the flowers in the clearing earlier on, and being incensed at this act of wanton vandalism,
had decided (27) (decide) to avenge the poor flowers, which was exactly what he did (28) (do).

Language notes
ruddy (adj) red, especially when talking about complexion, also a mild
swear word, eg. - what ruddy weather
wee little (Scots)
hoody (n) hooded piece of clothing currently trendy with young people,
also somebody who wears one with the hood constantly up
nickname (n) an informal, often humorous, name for a person, sometimes
used by friends
day in day out (expr) every day
goodies (n pl) nice things, especially nice things to eat (usually plural)
nonchalant (adj) behaving in a calm and relaxed way; giving the impression that
you are not feeling any anxiety
dawdle (v) to take a long time to do something or go somewhere
petulantly (adv) in a bad-tempered and unreasonable way
one (pron) Hoody's use of the impersonal pronoun 'one' is best avoided
except in formal writing such as academic papers, and even
 then with care
whom (pron) Most of us would consider Hoody's use of 'whom' here for
direct object as over-formal, old-fashioned and even
pretentious
relent (v) to become less determined, strong, etc
bluebell (n) a type of flower, which often grows in woods and forests
gobble (v) to eat something very fast, in a way that people consider rude
or greedy
plump (adj) having a soft, round body; slightly fat. Also euphemism for fat.
nourishing (adj) having good food value
promise to be sth (v) sth seems likely to happen; to show signs of something
hooter (n) nose (slang)
snarl (v and n) to speak in an angry or bad-tempered way, the sound an angry
dog makes
retort (v and n) to reply quickly to a comment, in an angry, offended or
humorous way
whatever here 'whatever' means something like 'do I care?', 'Do you think
I'm even a bit interested in what you think?'
snap (v) o speak or say something in an impatient, usually angry, voice
to wolf down (phr v) to eat very quickly
before you could say suddenly, immediately
'Jack Robinson' (idiom)
knickers (n pl) underpants, especially a female's
wanton (adj) causing harm or damage deliberately and for no acceptable
reason
avenge (v) to punish or hurt somebody in return for something bad or
wrong that they have done to you, your family or friends

Key

Random Idea English

http://random-idea-english.blogspot.com/2011/05/narrative-tenses-practice.html