Published by BS Central

515 2nd Ave. S • Glasgow, MT 59230

406-228-4558 • fax: 406-228-4578
bscentral@nemont.net

Vo
l .9
Fri
day
, July 3 2020

Willie Plouffe and Coach K were out at the Northeast assembling the Luminarias, which were at 200 sold
Montana Fairgrounds at 7:00 sharp this morning and counting. It’s still not too late to purchase them.

Fairgrounds is the place to be this Saturday night

Valley County HOPE Project’s
2nd Annual 4th of July Celebration
fund-raiser will be held at the
Northeast Montana Fairgrounds on
the evening of Independence Day.
A community barbecue
featuring grab-n-go bags will be
served from 5:00-7:00. Each bag is
stuffed with a hamburger, potato
salad, baked beans, chips, brownie
and watermelon.
“Dinner is on,” says Rod
Karst, “and we are doing safety
precautions. Drinks will be poured
for you and hand sanitizers will be
at all the tables at the three food
booths plus the stage area. Workers
will be wearing masks and gloves,
cleaning tables, etc., doing what we
can for safety reasons.”
Both a live & silent auction of
items will be held at the Fairgrounds
from 7:00 - 8:30. If you have items
to donate for the auction, they are
still collecting. Willie, Becky Stein
or Rod.
Following that is a live talent
showcase from 8:30-10:00. They are
looking for participants to perform
a song, dance, or whatever your
talent is. They’ve got some talent
lined up but are still accepting more.
““I’m not singing because
everybody would leave!” said Coach
K.
continued on page 2
 Happy Four
of Yuly!
Scattered showers and thunderstorms are expected
to move off the higher terrain of central and southern
Montana this afternoon and move across eastern
Montana and into North Dakota overnight. Large hail,
damaging winds, and heavy rain are all possible with
some of the storms. This unsettled pattern will continue
through the weekend and into next week. Have a plan of
action ready and stay safe this holiday weekend!
Tonight: A 40 percent chance of showers and
thunderstorms, mainly between 8pm and midnight. Some
of the storms could be severe. Mostly cloudy, with a low
around 62. Southeast wind 6 to 9 mph becoming northeast
in the evening.
Independence Day: A slight chance of showers, then a
chance of showers and thunderstorms after noon. Mostly
sunny, with a high near 90. Light and variable wind
becoming south 5 to 7 mph in the afternoon. Chance of
precipitation is 40%.
Saturday Night: Showers and possibly a thunderstorm.
Low around 61. South southeast wind around 7 mph
becoming north northwest after midnight. Chance of
precipitation is 80%.
Sunday: A chance of showers, with thunderstorms also
possible after noon. Partly sunny, with a high near 82. West
northwest wind 7 to 11 mph, with gusts as high as 18 mph.
Chance of precipitation is 50%.
Sunday Night: A 20 percent chance of showers and
thunderstorms before midnight. Partly cloudy, with a low
around 55. West northwest wind 5 to 10 mph becoming
light and variable after midnight. Winds could gust as high
as 20 mph.
Monday: A 20 percent chance of showers and thunderstorms
after noon. Mostly sunny, with a high near 81. Calm wind
becoming south around 6 mph in the afternoon.
Monday Night: A 30 percent chance of showers and
thunderstorms, mainly before midnight. Partly cloudy, with
a low around 58. South wind around 6 mph becoming east
after midnight.
Tuesday: A 40 percent chance of showers and
thunderstorms after noon. Mostly sunny, with a high near
85. East wind 5 to 9 mph.
Tuesday Night: Showers likely and possibly a
thunderstorm before midnight, then a chance of showers
and thunderstorms after midnight. Partly cloudy, with a low
around 60. East wind 7 to 9 mph. Chance of precipitation
is 60%.
Wednesday: A 40 percent chance of showers and
thunderstorms. Mostly sunny, with a high near 83.
Thursday: A chance of showers and thunderstorms.
Mostly sunny, with a high near 83.
Help Celebrate
I bet if you
Sharon
put your ad here
people would
see it! Lagerquist’s
75 th Birthday
July 5th, 2020
at the VFW
Starting at 5:00 PM
HOPE continued from front
For more information contact Rod Karst or Dave
Pippin.
At the conclusion of this event participants are
encouraged to stick around and watch the annual 4th of
July fireworks display.
A new feature will be Red, White & Blue luminaria
on the fence at the fairgrounds. Cost of luminaria is $10
and can be purchased in honor or in memory of a loved
one. The luminaria will be lit from tonight through July
5th.
All proceeds from this event will go to the Valley
County HOPE Project fund to assist Valley County
residents with their medical expenses. It’s a great way to
celebrate the 4th and raise money for a great cause.
Fort Peck Fire Department receives
a nice donation from TC Energy
As a part of its Community Investment Program,
TC Energy has generously donated $10,000 to the Town
of Fort Peck to help repair Fort Peck Volunteer Fire
Department’s Pierce Truck.
The 1986 Pierce truck has needed serious valve
repairs to be able to pump water in rural areas that do
not have access to a pressurized water system and to
make the equipment safe for our volunteers to operate.
These repairs will help extend the life of the Truck and
help protect property in the Town of Fort Peck and
surrounding area for years to come.
The department currently has thirteen volunteers
and is actively looking for new members. If you are
local and interested in becoming a volunteer firefighter
or for more information please contact the Town Office
at 526-3220.
 BUZZIFIEDS
BUZZ BUZZ
FOR SALE 17’ MFG Caprice fishing boat. 115 HP Johnson motor, 4 HP RUNDLE SUITES Any ambitious and energetic workers out there? Rundle
Johnson kicker, Minn Kota Auto-pilot trolling motor, live well, 4 pedestal Suites is looking for those above the norm for housekeeping and front desk
seats, marine radio, AM/FM radio, fish finder, walk-thru windshield, covers and we love teachers! STOP BY AND TALK TO US AT RUNDLE SUITES
for boat. Been stored inside since new. Asking $5,400 IF INTERESTED • DOWNTOWN GLASGOW
CALL 406-671-4044 BUZZ
BUZZ VALLEY VIEW HOME is looking for a new Dietary Director. The Director
HORSE PASTURE 1/2 mile east of the high school for 4 horses. CALL is responsible for the Dietary Department, food and supply logistics and
BERNIE 406-899-8305 resident dietary needs. If you have experience and are looking into a long
BUZZ term career, please visit Valley View Home for an application. OUR WAGE
ROOMS FOR RENT WiFi and Utilities provided by owner. $700/mo. CALL IS HIGHLY COMPETITIVE AND DEPENDS ON EXPERIENCE!
406-941-0890 BUZZ
BUZZ VALLEY VIEW HOME is looking for CNAs for day shift. High paid wage
COTTONWOOD INN is looking for a full-time day bartender, full-time for CNAs with long term care experience. We can train and certify anyone
evening dishwasher, and part-time morning front desk receptionist. who wants to become a CNA as well. Wage is $14/hr. PLEASE SWING
Benefits include employee discounts, paid sick/vacation leave, dental/visual BY VALLEY VIEW HOME ADMIN OFFICE FOR AN APPLICATION AND
reimbursement, group health insurance available. Pick up an application
at the Cottonwood Inn front desk, or download one at cottonwoodinn.
net/employment.
BUZZ
BARBER OR COSMETOLOGIST WANTED for Whistle Stop Barber Shop. NOW HIRING in GLASGOW
Most premier location in Glasgow, next to Montana Bar for constant walk-ins
& fantastic income. CALL 263-8619
BUZZ 
SEASONAL OPENING with MT Fish, Wildlife & Parks: Hunting Access
Technician R6 for Block Management Program. Primary Location @
Glasgow; Other locations: Malta, Culbertson, Plentywood. Must have good
communication skills, GPS skills, ability to interpret maps, basic knowledge
of hunting regulations & wildlife management, valid driver’s license, ability
to operate a 4x4 pickup truck. Must be in good physical condition – some
outdoor construction involved. Apply online at: https://mtstatejobs.taleo.
net/careersection/200/jobdetail.ftl?job=20141495&tz=GMT-06%3A00&
tzname=America%2FDenver. Closes July 13,2020
GRAND
BUZZ RE-OPENING
VALLEY VIEW HOME. is looking for a full time Dietary Aide prepares
and serves palatable, nourishing, well-balanced diets to meet the daily
nutritional and special dietary needs of each resident. Pay starts at $12.55/
hr. This position provides a very meaningful role within Valley View Home
and you will feel gratitude daily for your work. PLEASE PICK UP YOUR
Pharmacy & Gift SALE
Monday - Friday • July 6 - 10
APPLICATION FROM THE ADMINISTRATIVE DEPARTMENT AT
VALLEY VIEW HOME.
BUZZ
SAVE 25% OFF
POSITION OPENING: Full Time Clerk at the Valley County Clerk and on ALL Giftware
Recorder’s Office. Experience with bookkeeping, computer, payroll, reading (Excluded are OTC & Prescriptions)
land descriptions, accounting and other clerical office duties preferred. We are requiring everyone to wear a mask & use hand sanitizer.
Must work well with employees and have excellent customer services We will keep the amount of people in the store to around 10.
skills. Salary: DOE. Full Benefit Package. FOR A COMPLETE JOB New Items are Arriving Daily!
DESCRIPTION AND APPLICATION, PLEASE CONTACT THE CLERK
AND RECORDER’S OFFICE. 501 COURT SQUARE #2, GLASGOW, MT
Hope to see you soon!
59230, 406-228-6226
BUZZ We also have
T&R TRUCKING Looking for a Porta Potty cleaner. 5-6 days per week
depending on the season. CDL preferred or willing to obtain. Wage CBDistillery Products
Full Spectrum,
depends on experience. CALL ROCKY AT 228-8746 OR APPLY AT T&R Broad Spectrum & Isolates
TRUCKING Also good Gummies!
BUZZ DO NOT NEED CARD
LOCAL DELIVERY DRIVERS WANTED full and part time positions. Must FOR CBD PRODUCTS!
be 21, driving experience required. Starts at $16. Email msglasgowmt@ OPEN
gmail.com for questions and full information.
BUZZ
M / W / TH / F
RUNDLE SUITES is on the hunt for a good maintenance man! STOP BY
Organic Medical 10am-6pm
AND TALK TO JON AT RUNDLE SUITES • DOWNTOWN GLASGOW Alternatives 406-228-4202
 Blood Drive Hinsdale Happenings
RED CROSS BLOOD DRIVES The 42nd Annual Hinsdale Rodeo and Wild Pony
July 7 • 11:00am – 5:30pm Race is tonight (July 3rd) beginning at 6:00 with ranch
July 8 • 9:00am – 2:00pm bronc riding, so don’t be late!
BOTH drives will be at the VFW in Glasgow There will be full concessions, beer garden and
DISCOVER YOUR COVID-19 ANTIBODY STATUS Sweet Memories Ice Cream Stand available. All are
Free antibody testing. For a limited time, the American Red Cross will test all welcome to see all the rodeo action in Hinsdale this
blood, platelet and plasma donations for COVID-19 antibodies as an additional
health service to our donors. The COVID-19 antibody test is authorized by evening!
the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) and may indicate if the donor’s Though the Milk River Days Committee has
immune system has produced antibodies to the coronavirus, regardless of
whether they developed symptoms. decided not to host a parade or BBQ this year, the
By appointment only. To schedule your appointment or wonderful citizens of Hinsdale have decided they will
for more information please visit www.redcrossblood.org
or call the American Red Cross at 406-403-0956. not break the tradition of being together on the Fourth
To expedite your registration visit redcrossblood.org/rapidpass of July.
(must register for rapid pass same day as your donation).
On Independence Day (Saturday), Hinsdale will
have a parade at 11:00 and Picnic in the Park at noon.
It’s an “old fashion” potluck affair. Burgers are provided,
please bring your own utensils, plates, chairs.
home of
The Ranch Rodeo Scramble on Saturday
BS BUZZ
With the shortage of rodeos going on, one may
want to take in some home-grown ranch events that
your local ranches and ranch hands are attending.
Whit that thought in mind and shared, there is one
this July 4th at the Hinsdale Rodeo
Arena.
FULL COLOR An RCAN sanctioned
PRINTING ENVELOPES event, daily ranch action
can get a little western,
BROCHURES especially when you put a time
limit on things. The Rodeo
BUSINESS CARDS Scramble is a four-person
CUSTOM FORMS team event. Each team will
have eight minutes to complete
POST CARDS all events in any order.
NOW POSTERS OzarkHosted by Broncs & Big Loops (Dewayne & Doris
and Walter & Billy Skye Ozark, currently there
OFFERING are 14 teams on board with the option of holding an all
women’s scramble once the first scramble is finished.
BANNERS Action begins around “Noonish or one,” said
Doris Ozark, “so go enjoy the parade and then come
T-Bone Says... watch some excitement.”
You know, making purchases off the internet can There will be consessions and Stoughie promises
turn out to be disastrous. I bought one of them male to have some cold beverages available. Spectators are
thing-a-ma-jiggy enhancers for a hundred bucks. asked to follow the guidelines for social distancing
When I received a package in the mail a week and that you stay home if you are sick. Thee is plenty
later, I could barely wait to get home and open it. of space and you can pull up to the fence in you own
Inside the box was a hand-held magnifier with vehicle if you wish.
the following instruction: “NOT TO BE USED IN It’s all happening in Hinsdale, Montana tonight
DIRECT SUNLIGHT.” and Independence Day!
 With a heavy heart, the Fort Peck
Thank you for supporting the Fine Arts Council canceled their
2020 season due to COVID-19.
We want to take this opportunity
to thank all of you that make it
possible to keep moving forward.

2020 Patrons: Jean Carlson Diane Brandt

Executive Producer $5000+ Steve & Diana Carney
Terry & Sandy Archambeault Central Avenue Pit Crew
Marilyn Parke Tom Clarke
Dewey Doucette
Producer $1000-$4999 John & Mary Fahlgren
Darrel & Rhonda Bergtoll Jim & Darlene Fossum
Mr. & Mrs. Thomas J. Breigenzer Chuck & Monica Garten
Anonymous Fred & Gayle Hammond
Gilbertson Farms Mary & Mitch Hughes
Marvin & Beverly Johnson Jeff & Andi Johnson
Glen & Stephanie Meier Carl & Eileen Karge
John & Marilynn Olson Family Foundation Sam & Beth Knodel
Cast - $600-$799 Jon C. Kolstad O.D., PC
Marc & Karen Breigenzer Gail & John Langen
Nick Dirkes Craig & Pam Lee
Jim & Dana McColly
Choreographer—$400-$599 Jim & Lois McIntyre
Shirley Baumgartner & Edwin Mogan Gene & Christy Meyers
Everett & Liz Breigenzer The Mogans
Carl Dix & Zach McKay Darrell & Mary Morehouse
Willie & Cheri Doll Pepsi - Blue Rock Dist.
Cherie Edwards Rocky Mountain Law Partners, PC
Ralph & Terri Ellsworth Betty & Tracy Stone
Joe & Patt Etchart Scott & Janie Sukut
Dick & Darlene Fulton Jon Svingen
Maury Graham Charles & Monie Tow
Plentywood Rexall Drug Triple A Glass, Inc.
Sherman Inn Mitch Willett & Sherri Turner
Dale and Brenda K. Tarum Nick & Nancy Vaira
Laura & Roger Wagner VC Historical Society
Darrell & Margareta Walstad Rick & Lori Viste
Ronald Watson Roger & Ruth Waarvik
Galen & Karla Zerbe Western Drug
Stage Manager $200-$399 Richard & Kari Wiens
John & Jeanne Barnard Friend $25-$199
Roberta Barstad Art's Furniture & Carpet
Katherine M. Bidegaray Dean & Laura Barnes
David & Denise Brewer Roxanne Billingsley Barone
Ed & Shirley Buechler Bell Mortuary
Marilyn Buechler
Jay & Kim Brooks
Allen & Marlene Bummer
Tom & Candy Dooper
Ruth Dowell
Durum Restaurant & Bar
David & Lisa Espeland
Doyle & Yvonne Euell
Friesens Floral & Greenhouse
Gail Guenther
High Plains Motors, Inc
Holly & John Hunziker
Aaron & Karla Johnson
Don & Linda Kaveshan
Dave & Donna Kloker
Jane & Perry Kolstad
L & K Realty
Jeff & Darla Larson
Jack & Jeanine Markle
Edith Marty
Twylla McPherson
Missouri River Realty
Jack & Ann Morgenstern
Alvin & Susan Olsen
Tim & Katie Padden
Steve & Michele Page
Bev & Monty Poirier
Kari Prewett
Bill & Nancy Ramsey
R & G Quality Feeds
Victor L. Holsapple Memorial
Carol Jean Sandvik
Stempel Family
Dan & Gloria Thoeny
Gary Tine
Town & Country Furniture
Melani Vandall
Dean & Annette Vegge
Dr. Mike & Rosemary Veseth
Donations to the Endowment Fund given in memory from
May 2019 through June 2020 PLATINUM SPONSORS
Bank of Glasgow
In Memory of Steve Bell In Memory of Joan Helland Independence Bank
Given by Carlene and Jeff Hayward Nemont Telephone Cooperative
Newton Motors/Scott’s Track & Wheel
In Memory of Bud & Marvel Rider
Linda Miller GOLD SPONSORS
Albertsons
Donations to Stage Floor given in memory from Border Plains
May 2019 through June 2020 Cape Air
CHMS, P.C.
In Memory of Steve Bell CHS Farmer's Elevator-Circle
Ted & Brenda Schye Cooperatives:
Doug & Kathy James Big Flat, Norval,Sheridan Electric
Shirley Baumgartner & Edwin Mogan Eugene's Pizza
Patt & Joe Etchart Ezzie's Wholesale (emailed 2019
In Memory of Donna Billingsley First Community Bank
Joe & Patt Etchart Fort Peck Hotel
Frances Mahon Deaconess Hospital
In Memory of Mitch Etchart
Mattfeldt Electric
Rich & Lois Damstrom
Northwest Farm Credit Services
Shirley Baumgartner & Edwin Mogan
Opportunity Bank
In Memory of Bob Hadley Wells Fargo
CHMS Zerbe Brothers, Inc.
Patt & Joe Etchart
Jennifer Fewer SILVER SPONSORS
Shirley Baumgartner & Edwin Mogan Agri-Industries
Betty & Dave Watson All Season Home Center Inc.
In Memory of Cole Hammond Busted Knuckle Brewery
Fred & Gayle Hammond Coca Cola and Dr. Pepper Bottling Co.
Cottonwood Inn & Suites
In Memory of Frank & Carol Helland
First State Bank of Malta
Patt & Joe Etchart
Glasgow Distributors (Jon Swanson)
In Memory of Joan Helland Helland Law Firm
Sam Espeland HiLine Ford
Patt & Joe Etchart KLTZ/KLAN
In Memory of Gayle Hill LPL Financial
The family of Gayle Hill Markles Inc
Jean Viste Montana Aviation Research Company
Robert C Brown Nemont Beverage Corp
Reel Therapy Charter Fishing/KTF
In Memory of Allison Nichols
Woods
Nicki Brown Kay Kennedy
Reynolds
Lori Viste Charles & Ramona Tow
Valley Builders Supply, Inc.
Tim & Katie Padden Diane Brandt
Will's Office World
Laura & Dean Barnes Candy Dooper
Joe & Patt Etchart Carlene & Jeff Hayward
THANKS also to the actors, our faithful
Shirley Baumgartner & Edwin Mogan
volunteers and those who donated
Linda Miller
back their tickets purchased for 2020.
In Memory of Sondra Thorn Stay Healthy Everyone!
Shirley Baumgartner & Edwin Mogan
 In the Lost
And Found
Department
When it’s winter
time he’s wearing
his stocking hat,
but all other times
he can be found
in a cowboy hat or
“baseball” caps, and
this one in particular
is pretty special; not
so much for himself,
but whoever lost it!
Stanley Sonsteng
picked it up earlier
this week on Highway
2 West in Glasgow
and would like the
owner to have it back.
“I think it belongs to
a kid,” he pondered,
because to put it
on he had to adjust
those plastic snap
straps on the cap
to a larger size. But
apparently whoever
does own it has been
to a Professional Bull
Riders event as it has
a shedload of cowboy
signatures on it. Call
Stan at 263-4946 to
claim your keepsake
PBR cap.

FOR ALL YOUR

ELECTRICAL NEEDS
Custom Carpentry •Roofing Repairs •Windows •Doors •Kitchens •Baths
Call Shawn Beard • 230-1025
Email: beardhi@gmail.com • Licensed & insured • Free Estimates
CALL 263-2724
United INSURANCE & REALTY
P.O. Box 351 | 504 2nd Ave. S | Glasgow, Montana 59230
406.228.9356
unitedinsuranceandrealty.com
1326 Milk River Drive,
Nashua, Montana
Quiet & Private, one level 4
bedroom 2 bath (converted
duplex) within the Nashua City
Limits. Updated HVAC and fixtures.
Detached 624 square foot heated
garage, and small storage shed.
Call for a walk through today!
PRICE REDUCED $148,000
IMMACULATE HOME ON NORTH SIDE!
2200 +/- sq. ft. home with open remodeled
kitchen, formal dining, hardwood floors and
finished basement. 4 bedrooms, plus 2
sleeping rooms, bonus room, 2 baths, large
living room, & family room. New windows,
roof, newer furnace/Central air, new flooring.
Large oversized heated and insulated 1200
sq. ft. garage to accommodate your boat and
cars with a workshop. Extra space to park an
RV. Move in ready!
PRICED AT $244,800 #367
Offered by: Karen Waarvik, Broker/Owner
(406) 228-2525 -
www.redfoxxrealestate.com
GAULTOERN NIR
’&S
EPA
RVICE
WRECKER SE
53999
Hwy 2 W
Batteries • Towing • Repair
Call 228-2715 or 263-1249
JULY 1 - 7
Stone’s 80% Lean 20% Fat (5 lb. Box)
GROUND BEEF PATTIES............$14.95 ea
St. Louis Style
PORK SPARERIBS ...................... $3.99 lb
Boneless Pork Loin Roast, Chops, & Ribs
PORK 3-MEAL DEAL ................... $2.79 lb
Boneless Pork
BACK RIBS ................................ $3.49 lb
Willamette Valley Beef
TENDERLOIN STEAKS................. $9.99 lb
Certified Angus Beef®
TOP SIRLOIN STEAKS................. $4.99 lb
Fresh Whole
SEEDLESS WATERMELON ............. 29¢ lb
Northwest
SWEET CHERRIES ...................... $2.88 lb
2 lb Bag
PEACHES .....................................2 / $5
2-DAY SALE
Fri. & Sat. ONLY! July 3 & 4
while supplies last
Fresh Boneless Skinless (40 lb. Case)
CHICKEN BREASTS – $40 / CASE
Letter to the Buzz
Covid Testing – what you should
know, Dr. Don has an update
Most of the hundred available Covid tests
are of unproven accuracy. Only a few have been
validated by the CDC which may require no more
than an endorsement by a third party. One of
the more common tests, the Abbott Test, has a
sensitivity and specificity of 60-70 percent.
In medicine, validity is expressed as percent
sensitivity and specificity when compared to a
gold standard. The closest thing to a gold standard
for Covid is the terminal or near terminal Covid
patient. The current tests have a sensitivity
of zero to ninety-plus percent while some are
nothing more than scams (see San Antonio
Health Department half million dollar loss). A
95% sensitivity and specificity will result in five
missed cases and five false positive cases.
Massachusetts Institute of Technology
example:
Given a 5% incidence of infection in a
population that is tested with a test accuracy of
95% sensitivity and 95% specificity results in a
true accuracy of 50% — save your money and flip
a coin!
Montana example:
With a population of 1.096 million and a
“true” case incidence of 1083 (0.001013 percent)
infected. Apply the math at 95% sensitivity and
95% specificity and the test results are as follows:
54 true positives missed
53,450 false positives (healthy people with head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger
erroneous test results)
An asymptomatic Montanan with a positive
test in this setting has the probability of true
Covid infection of one in 50 and (or a 50 to 1
chance that he/she tis erroneously classified as a
Covid victim).
Use the test and its information with caution.
Avoid crowds, keep a six foot distance and suit
yourself regarding face masks. If you are sixk the
test are of some value.
~ Don Pansegrau, MD
PS: This correction is to simplify the above and
to update it to July 2nd numbers. The numbers
will be different next week but the conclusions
will not.
Friday Funnies by
Me at my second rodeo: “This ain’t my
first rodeo.”
Question: Why Did The Cowboy
Die With His Boots On?
Answer: Because he didn’t want to
stub his toe when he kicked the bucket.
Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door
by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, “It’s the
druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the
phone. I had to call at least a half a dozen times before
he would even answer the phone!”
Immediately, the husband drove downtown to
confront the druggist and demand an apology.
Before he could say more than a word or two, the
druggist told him, “Now, just a minute, listen to my side
of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was
late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried
out to the car, just to realize that I’d locked the house
with both house and car keys inside and had to break a
window to get my keys.
“Then,” the druggist continued his story, “driving a
little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was
about three blocks from the store, I had a flat tire.
“When I finally got to the store a bunch of people
were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened
and started waiting on these people, all the time the
darn phone was ringing off the hook.”
His story went on: “Then I had to break a roll of
nickels against the cash register drawer to make change,
and they spilled all over the floor. I had to get down
on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels and the
phone was still ringing. When I came up I cracked my
back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles
on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke.
“Meanwhile, the phone is still ringing with no let
up,” the druggist explained, “and I finally got back to
answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to
use a rectal thermometer.
“And believe me mister, with God Himself as my
witness, all I did was tell her....”
The first-time father, beside himself with
excitement over the birth of his son, was determined
to do everything right.
“So tell me, Nurse,” he asked as his new family
headed out the hospital door, “what time should we
wake the little guy in the morning?”