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DON’T
WORK
(But This Does)
M E L I S S A B R OW N E
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
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Introduction xiii
Acknowledgements 213
About Mel 215
Want to Work with Me? 216
How many books have you bought on money, business and finance?
One, four, ten, twenty? Or maybe you’ve lost count?
Now, be honest. How many of those books did you read cover
to cover? More importantly, how many of those books caused you
to make radical, lasting money changes?
That’s what I thought.
The truth is many of us are enamoured by the idea of sorting
ourselves out financially. In the same way we might get excited
about becoming fit, running a marathon, finding a partner, losing
5 kilos or giving up sugar.
Starting the process can seem easy and even a little exciting.
Maybe you signed up to gym classes, hired a personal trainer, made
an appointment with a financial planner or accountant, signed up to
RSVP or set up online bank accounts to start seriously saving. But
it’s the second week of 6 a.m. sessions with your personal trainer
when you’re not on holidays where it starts becoming difficult. Or
dealing with sugar cravings at 4 p.m. every day, trying desperately
to resist the call of a Tim Tam. Or finding yourself on three dud
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work for the majority of us in the same way that diets don’t work,
and that budgeting can be harmful to your finances if it doesn’t
fit with your Money Type? And that the reason there’s so much
tension about money in your romantic relationship has nothing
to do with one of you being a spender and one being a saver and
everything to do with your Money Stories?
Now do I have your attention?
I thought so.
I believe that until you understand something I call your
‘Financial Phenotype’, you’ll never find flow with your finances.
Money will always be something you battle with and you’ll struggle
to achieve your financial potential.
What do I mean by Financial Phenotype?
If we head to a Dictionary definition, we can see the term
‘phenotype’ is used in genetics to describe both ‘the observable
constitution of an organism’ as well as ‘the appearance of an
organism resulting from the interaction of the genotype and the
environment’. In other words, phenotype is the observable set of
unique characteristics resulting from the interaction of nature
and nurture.
Our Financial Phenotype, meanwhile, is the expression of how
we intrinsically behave with money and the influence of our life
experience and environment on how we handle our finances. It’s
the effects of our Money Type, our Money Story and our Money
Environment and the suite of habits we’ve developed as a result,
which might be serving us or sabotaging us.
In other words, our Financial Phenotype captures both who
we are and why we are, and it helps us to understand why we’re
behaving the way we are with our finances. Until we understand
our Financial Phenotype, we’ll continually be caught in a cycle of
financial sabotage.
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For many of us, the cycle might look like this: frequently
worrying about money, avoiding thinking about money and hoping
our future self will miraculously sort out our finances, charging
the latest yoga retreat or personal training session onto our second
credit card and hoping to god it goes through. Patting ourselves
on the back because we’re embracing minimalism but spending
all the money we’ve saved (and more) on experiences, which is
only adding to our anxiety so we reach for another glass of wine,
which turns into a regular habit, so we book another retreat, or
another detox. Having the best intentions of doing right by the
planet but unable to break our addiction to fast fashion, fast food,
multiple devices and petrol-guzzling toys. Having a large amount
of money in the bank but being unable to do anything of value
with it because we’re suffering paralysis by analysis so we just work
harder and longer and hope that’s enough. Permanently being in
rescue mode for those around us but never being able to place
the financial oxygen mask onto ourselves so we’re constantly in
a state of financial stress. Feeling obligated to financially behave
a particular way but it feels like an itchy jacket we want to throw
off, so we sabotage and financially act out. And the cycle continues.
Imagine if you could step off that financial merry-go-round and
walk down a path of your own making towards financial wellness.
I believe that until we understand our Financial Phenotype
and learn to act so our Money Story and Money Type serve us
rather than sabotage us, we’ll never be financially well. Money will
be something we’re constantly battling with, avoiding or forever
popping on a ‘too hard’ list. Or perhaps money will always be
something elusive that we’re sure we could do better at.
The reason understanding our Financial Phenotype is important
is because finances are personal. Our relationship with money and
our financial DNA are unique. Our Financial Phenotype—who
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sure both our financial needs are being met. This helps us both feel
financially motivated and financially safe, two equally important
and often-overlooked concepts. With research consistently telling us
that money is the number one thing couples fight about, wouldn’t
it be nice to move from frustration, judgement and even anger to
understanding why we each behave with money the way we do?
To understand how both we and our partners can be financially
safe and satisfied?
Once you realise the one-size-fits-all financial approach so
many of us have been adopting doesn’t work for most of us, it
can be liberating. Finally, there’s a reason why we struggle with
money—why we’re perpetually sabotaging or why we just can’t
seem to be consistent.
Of course, understanding your behaviour with money is a vital
step, but it’s only part of the picture. Once you’ve identified and
understood your Financial Phenotype, it means you can start to
develop a suite of great financial habits that are right for you. For
most of you, these financial habits will have absolutely nothing to
do with budgets (Insert the ‘Hallelujah Chorus’ here.)
Yes, there are some of us (myself included) who love ourselves a
good budget and a good spreadsheet. I mean, nothing says a great
holiday to me like a colour-coded spreadsheet so of course I’m going
to apply that same thinking to my business (and occasionally my
personal) finances. Some of you are mentally high-fiving me right
now and some of you are gagging. The reality is, for most of us,
a line-by-line itemised budget is the wrong approach. Now, I’m not
suggesting we shouldn’t understand how much we spend and how
much we save; how much we owe and how much we own; and what
our goals are and whether our current assets, income and spending
will get us there. And yes, a spreadsheet can be incredibly helpful
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with figuring all that out. Instead, I’m talking about not simply
defaulting to a prescriptive one-size-fits-all financial approach.
The reason we’re tempted to default to a formula or a budget,
even if it doesn’t feel right for us, is because often we don’t know
there’s another way to go about it. We don’t have a great financial
language, we have limited financial education and we’re not used
to telling financial stories. So, we cross our fingers and hope a
formulaic approach will finally be right for us.
And some financial service providers use a lazy standardised
approach, such as suggesting a spending plan of 50 per cent needs,
20 per cent savings and 30 per cent wants. This can sometimes make
us feel financially safe. Finally, there’s a formula that guarantees,
if we simply stick to it, we’ll be financially okay, right?
Wrong.
Let’s think about that suggested spending formula for a moment.
What happens if you’re on a low income and simply can’t make the
numbers add up? What if you keep dipping into your pot of savings
despite transferring 20 per cent, like the formula dictates? Chances
are, it will make you feel hopeless and want to give up. Or what if
instead of only saving 20 per cent you should actually be saving
80 per cent because you’re living at home and this is your time to
financially get ahead? Saving 20 per cent and having a good time
now might make you feel like you’re doing the right thing when in
fact you’re missing an incredible opportunity to be getting ahead
at a time when the costs of your needs, such as housing, are so
very low. I’ve met too many thirty-somethings who wished they’d
saved more when they were in their twenties (which you can still
do and have a great time, just so you know) but thought they were
doing the right thing by following similar spending formulas. Or
they didn’t know what to do, so they did nothing at all.
It’s time for a new financial approach.
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Carl Jung once said, ‘Until you make the unconscious conscious,
it will direct your life and you will call it fate.’ This quote captures
why I’m so fascinated by discussions about nature and nurture.
And why I want you to be too—particularly when it comes to your
finances, so that you can start making conscious financial decisions.
What do I mean by nature and nurture? I want to make it
very clear that I’m not a scientist, so I’ve no doubt taken liberties
throughout this book. But as far as my definition of Financial
Phenotype is concerned, here’s what I mean by nature and nurture.
Nature is the more unchangeable part of who we are. It’s the
genetic code we received from our parents and is observed as
everything from our eye colour to our height to our personality
type and more. While it can still be changed or altered, it’s generally
more fixed. Whereas nurture is the impact of our environment on
who we are—this includes everything from our upbringing, our
environment, our culture, our life experiences and more.
Examining this interplay of nature and nurture when it comes to
money helps us develop a keen understanding around our financial