Refusing the Fools’ choice

Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined and every city or household divided against
itself will not stand. Words uttered thousands of years ago, used mightly in our own nation
hundreds of years ago and certainly words that are applicable to today. Examine this text, and
think of how much we are headed toward the divide, not the celebration of diversity but the
creation of a divide—blue or red states; democrat or republican black or white, citizen or illegal
immigrant; rich or poor. We are failing to see that what unites us can be stronger than what
divides us. Our decisions to become nurses, the training we undergo, the places we work and
the people we serve place us at a pivotal point for leading our nation back toward unity—even
though it may be one moment at a time. Doing what we do best every day each day—serving
others through compassion, courageously treading into the front lines uncertainty, and working
with a team to achieve best outcomes can be a model for our divided house that can put us
back together again.

These platitudes sound great but the real work begins with ourselves. I offer a few ideas to help
us to be the leaders I know each of us can be. First we are called to examine ourselves. We are
shaped by the stories we have told ourselves and those stories we have listened to. What are
your stories? This is not judgement but examination. We are shaped by our history—both
personal and societal. We must have courage to face that a truth held by those who may have
been influential in our lives long ago, doesn’t have to hold true today. We have the individual
power to change ourselves first before expecting others to change.

Secondly, use communication wisely. As we have seen in our current media, whether public or
social media, the art of communicating has been lost. We have grown accustomed to
monologues, soliloquys and talking heads who advocates only their position with no desire to
truly hear another view. This ever talking but never listening is reflected in our personal
conversations, and actions and choices. Steve Covey in his bestseller over 20 years ago as
principle #2 in the public victory of effectiveness advocates for us to “seek first to understand,
then to be understood.” I cannot walk in your shoes but I can listen to your journey and see
how we can forge a path together.

Third, create safe spaces for each of us to thrive, not only physically safe but emotionally,
intellectually, and spiritually safe. The books Crucial Conversations and Crucial Accountability
elaborate that emotionally charged, opposing opinion and high states conversations hijack
measured helpful actions and return us to our primary instinct of fight or flight. We often act
our worst when the stakes are the highest We must consciously fight the forces that make us
want to run when our clothes are on fire and “stop, drop and roll.” Begin to refuse the divisive
fools choice—results vs relationship, winning versus losing, and look for the “and” where we
can achieve both. Using a paradigm of abundance in that the most important things of life—
love, energy, trust, relationships-- And we must again learn to develop trust which is a
commodity of faith built on consistent behavior To be safe we have to have enough trust in
each other such that the purpose is mutually shared. And developing that trust
Service: we each have dedicated ourselves to serving others. Its in our nature, our life’s blood
that a serving the least of these, the most vulner
Over the past years we have seen an escalation of these divisions in every aspect of our lives.,
The pervasive influence of media and the unaware aspects of hooking our neural circuits to the
sensational, this divisiveness appears to be greater. We have more emphasis on what divides us
rather than unites us. We have lost the art of really listening to others especially those with
whom we disagree, differ in culture, and differ in age. Communication is a two way street we
have a speaker and a receiver. Words are powerful—think of great Orators that could unite us
in times of great diversity. MLK wrote I have a dream to change a nation’s treatment of our
black brothers and sisters, and contrarily great orators that can cause untold suffering and
death such as Hitler. Words can heal, and words can kill.

. Why do I write about this? We can be an example in our profession. We can set a standard of
unity celebrating our diversity but focusing on the greater good, the unity that will prevent us
from destroying each other. We can lead our nation and there is no time like now to start.

We can’t separate ourselves professionally from our personal lives, our cultural upbringing, our
external influences and internal tendencies. So how do we celebrate our diversity but focus on
our unity in our conversations, our

Using more of a crucial conversations approach for unity not division.

Would that work?

Response not react:

Differences of opinion when we are relational people.

Suspicion.
Crucisl conversations:

There is unity in diversity.

In the past 15 years or so many of our nations’ institutions have focused on diversity—
application diversity, workforce etc that we have forgotten how to shift out thoughts to untiy.

Abe was right. A house divided against itself can’t stand, and unfortunately we are seeing much
more divisiveness in our society as we reemerge from covid.

Trust as a major player—trust in each other, trust in the process, trust in Americans to do the
right thing.

How do we address these conflicts?

Conflict resolution
Workplace bullying?

Taking our environment to work day.

Garbage in garbage out.

How do we as a trusted profession enable civil conversation, appreciation and a unity of

service and dedication to our selves and our fellow man.

Never seen anything like COVID—or the response to it in so many ways. Our stories that we will
tell be as diverse as our DNA-- courage, anxiety, stillness, loss, gain, sacrifice, selflessness and
fear.

Communicable disease has been around..

GNA: gather news accurately.

Use CNN, FOX… what we watch determines who we are….