Persuasive Writing

Content and Structure:

 Write a discursive task, well developed, with logical stages in an overall, sometimes
complex argument.
 Each stage should be linked to and follows the preceding one and sentences within
paragraphs are soundly sequenced.

Style and Accuracy:

 Fluent: a variety of well made sentences, including sophisticated complex sentences
where appropriate, used to achieve particular effects.
 Wide, consistently effective range of vocabulary with appropriately used ambitious
words.
 Some use of grammatical devices; assured use of punctuation; spelling accurate.

2. Students should learn how to use a scaffold to improve their writing. (Group A)

Lesson:

1. Whole class: We read the articles. Class discussion based on the topic of ‘Teenage
behaviour nowadays’.
2. Whole class brainstorming ideas: On bb:

Crime

Addictions Spending power

TEENAGER BEHAVIOUR
Absent parents Media

Peer Pressure
Many young people behave badly these days because they do not get enough
discipline at home. Parents should be stricter. Do you agree?

Opinion Essay
Writing with scaffolds

Complete the scaffold based on your opinion and the ideas discussed in
class.

Many young people behave badly these days because they do not get enough
discipline at home. Parents should be stricter. Do you agree?

It is often said that _______________________________________. Fifty

years ago, __________________________________________. Today
____________________. The result seems ______________
______________________________________________________.

There are examples of this everywhere.______________(give examples

followed by rhetorical question(s))___________________
______________________________________________(finish the
paragraph with a general thought)

In spite of what many people claim, I believe _________(state your

opinion)_______________. To begin with, ____________________
_____________________. I think it is caused by _________ rather than
________________. It seems that nowadays
_____________(give further reasons to support your point). As a
consequence ___________________________.
That is, _______(explain the last point)______________________
______________________________________________________.

Another consideration is _________________ (give a further reason

supporting your opinion). Clearly __________(explain why is this so)
______________________________________________________.
In other words _________________ (what/ who is responsible for this?)
________.

On the whole, I would argue that _____________(whose opinion do you

disagree with?)_____________are missing the point. While it is true that
(state the topic of the essay)
________________________________________ it is often because
_____________(go back and sum up reasons given above) _______.
______(give your final statement to close the essay, use imperatives)
______________________________________________________.

Group B
WRITING AN ESSAY: Giving your opinion

Many young people behave badly these days because they do not get enough discipline
at home. Parents should be stricter. Do you agree?

Things to include in the piece

 Rhetorical questions
 Arguments and supporting points
 Counter arguments and their demolition
 Practical examples
 Conclusion

Language:
 Formal style, active / passive voice, main use of present tense
 Clear statements with (scientific) backup
 Logical flow of sentences, using appropriate connectives
 Use of conditional and modals to discuss possibilities
 Imperative voice at the end to emphasis conclusion

Starting an introduction Let us now consider….

It is often said/argued that… A second /Another point I would like to
It is a fact that…. consider is…..
Over the past few years, it seems that…
Recently we have all become concerned Phrases for accurate statements
that….. Many people believe…
In the past, people……..., but now…….. People sometimes fail to….
These days it seems that ……….
Nowadays, we are all becoming aware of Showing contrast
(the fact that) …. Whereas
Although / even though
Giving opinions In spite of / despite
I (do not) believe that…. (because)…. On the one hand, …..(but) on the other hand
Personally, I feel that ….. (as)…… However
It seems to me that …… This is because …… Nevertheless
I would argue that….. Nonetheless
I feel strongly that …. Yet
I am convinced that ….
I am of the opinion that ….. Showing Results
I am greatly in favour/against…. As a consequence
I am completely opposed to ….. As a result
Because of this
Changing topic For this reason
Now let us turn to…. Hence
Turning to the question of…. So
With regard to…. Therefore
On the question of … Thus
Summing up ideas and arguments
To sum up, I tend to think that…
All things considered, I feel strongly that…
In conclusion, I would say that….
Altogether, I would argue…
All in all, I think….
Overall, I believe that…..
WRITING AN ESSAY: Giving your opinion

Many young people behave badly these days because they do not get enough
discipline at home. Parents should be stricter. Do you agree?
 
Over the past few years, it seems that young people’s behaviour has considerably changed. Many
factors can be taken into consideration when thinking about what originates a problematic and even
aggressive behaviour in younger generations. Media and an unsupportive home environment are
the most common conflicts starring in this daily drama life stories.
 
When looking at education, it always seems to be related to educational establishments; however,
education’s basics belong not to teachers but to parents themselves. In the time of our great
grandparents, education was done at home with tutors or even one’s parents, it was considered
that society’s role in a person’s educational process was essential. Thus schools were made an
emblematic institution for mankind. Nevertheless, and once again, strengthening parents major
importance in the matter, are they doing what should be done to bring up model-society
individuals? If so, why then disobedience and conflictive behaviour is a common social attitude
within youths in today’s world?

Competitiveness and financial dominance make parents’ efforts to support a home harder day after
day, having to increase the amount of working hours in order to fulfil their family needs. There are
also other particular situations in which parents spend more time at work, and it is not for the
money, but for professional growth and personal satisfaction. This may not be considered a bad
thing itself but, what should be seen as a misconception is the fact of not spending time with your
children a priority.

Hence, I am convinced that most of the time discipline is not provided at home not because of
parent’s irresponsibility, but for their scheduled busy lives, that leaves children uncared of.
Moreover, I feel that the common thought among parents is the fact that they are not the ones to
blame for kid’s indiscipline. Schools are responsible for this social phenomenon, they fail to believe.

With regard to the previous points, in the first place, parents should be aware of the situation
concerning their absence from home, and the results it brings about, If they made sure they saved
some quality time in order to get involved with their youngsters’ feelings and necessities, therefore
a more supportive and trustful environment would be created among the family members, which as
a result, would contribute to society in a positive way.

On the question of parents making schools responsible for such undisciplined young people, it can
be argued that, as previously mentioned, the most important social values are taught at home.
Parents, when becoming so should have considered that bringing a person to this world, would
involve having to prepare him or her for life. This includes passing down knowledge about their
personal experience on dealing with others as well as how to confront moral or practical issues as
better as they can.  Not to mention the idea that they cannot just roam around the world with
mistaken and –as if it was not enough- aggressive attitudes.

To sum up, I would argue that what young people need is not strictness but new generations must
be taught the basic ideas of primary values such as respect, co-operation and honesty. Bearing this
in mind not only would they become better individuals but they would also be contributing to making
this a better world. What this uncontrollable and mad world needs are future men and women
compromised with each other and with the world itself, making it a place a worthwhile to live in.    

 
Marking:
Content and Structure: Band 2 (10)
Each stage of the argument is defined and developed…., the stages follow in a generally cohesive
progression…paragraphs mostly well sequenced.
Style and Accuracy: Band 2 (10)
Mostly fluent…sentences correctly constructed...including complex sentences… mostly varied
vocabulary…grammatically correct
Overall mark: 20 / 25
Group A
Writing an Essay: Giving your opinion

Complete the scaffold based on your opinion and the ideas discussed in class.

Many young people behave badly these days because they do not get enough
discipline at home. Parents should be stricter. Do you agree?

It is often said that teenagers´ behaviour has worsened in the past few years, which is evidenced
by the increasing crime rates in our societies. Most people lay the blame of such misbehaviours on
a lack of discipline at home. In fact, fifty years ago, children were educated in traditional homes
under the ideals of religion and parents constantly supervising their children’s upbringing, making
sure they studied hard and paid their respect to the elders. Today, however, children are practically
being raised on their own due to the absence of parents in the home, which obeys to the new role
women have in societies, thereafter taking television characters as role models. The result seems
far form perfect, girls grow up aiming to turn into anorexic models, who are portrayed as the image
of perfection, boys are encouraged to abandon their studies by alcoholic singers and athletes who,
seem never to get bored explaining the world how they were discovered while playing in the park
when they were supposed to be at school. Hence, children get stressed and depressed, vandalism
grows, and kids learn that the way to make people respect them is, ironically, to be disrespectful.

There are examples of this everywhere. In fact, more often than usual we listen on the news
about a kid, not older than twelve years old, who has hit his teacher for reprimanding him.
Moreover, what is becoming a tradition, not only in the United States but here in Argentina as well,
is violence among students. In fact, a number of children who are constantly being bullied by their
classmates believe that guns and knifes are the only way to stop with this discrimination in schools
and unfortunately they take matters into their own hands. Nonetheless, this is partly accurate since
adults tend to believe that discrimination may be eradicated solely by reprimanding the parties
involved.

In spite of what many people claim, I believe teenage crime does not lay on the lack of discipline
in the home, not solely at least, since children practically never see their parents, and it does not
seem fair to me that, when they do get together, kids should be deprived from the love and
understanding they truly deserve. Ergo, I believe patterns in teenage behaviour nowadays are
caused by a lack of guidance rather than lack punishment in the home. It seems that nowadays
being able to ensure your kid a better education by sending him or her to a private school is more
important than being there to watch him or her grow. In fact, parents nowadays get caught up in the
consumerism world forgetting that their original objective was to see their children happy. As a
consequence children learn to connect love with objects. That is, if their parents do not buy them
what they desire it is because they do not care for them, consequently, children appear as
materialistic people who in fact are looking for affection in the only way their parents taught them to.

Another consideration is what happens to a child who mostly never sees his mother or father
and, all of a sudden, they walk in the door scolding him for his poor results at school. Clearly the
child will grow up to be a resentful human being who will most probably treat his children in the
same way, for we are not able to teach what we were not taught. In other words, if you receive
violence there is no possibility for you to give nothing but violence and resentment in return.

On the whole, I would argue that those who state that the solution to misbehavior in our youth
these days is to punish them more severely in the home are missing the point. While it is true
that most parents celebrate their sons and daughters when they misbehave rather than punish
them, it is often because they desire to seize those sporadic moments which they are able to
spend with their children by giving them love instead of sermons. Nonetheless, I do believe parents
should aim to provide their children with a good education, beginning at home. That is to spend
more time with them and teach them that treats will only come as a result of a proper behaviour
and, in fact, if they misbehave or give anything but their best in school, such treats will be taken
away, and replaced by punishments. This will result in children being raised in a happy and safe
environment and will, in turn produce confident teenagers who will lead a better and healthier
lifestyle.
Mark:

Content and Structure: Band 2 (10)

Each stage is defined…quality of explanation may not be consistent…stages follow
a generally cohesive progression…paragraphs mostly well sequenced…

Style and Accuracy: Band 1 (11)

Fluent…variety of well made sentences…complex sentences…effective range of
vocabulary… use of grammatical devices…

Overall mark: 21 / 25