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Sadly, they seem to be a constant fixture in any social group. It does not matter what age we
are, what job we have, where we went to school, what we own, or what we know. If we
participate in any social group, we are bound to meet some bullies.
Not all bullies are equal. Some are more vicious and effective than others.
Not all social groups are equal. Some attract more bullies than others.
The workplace, for example, is a frequent bully hangout. This is because bully strategies are
often encouraged and rewarded in the workplace.
Online forums are also a breeding ground for bullies because of the same reasons.
Bullies are generally easy to pick out. Here are some common forum bully traits –
The internet is largely anonymous. Studies show that when we are anonymous, we feel
less inhibited. For example, when we wear a costume and cover up our face with a
mask, we feel more free to take risks. The internet allows us all to easily put on a mask
and outfit. Being anonymous creates more freedoms and removes judgment based on
physical appearance, race, income, and more. However, it also allows us to escape
responsibility for our actions, including verbal abuse and bully behavior. Many forum
bullies use the internet as a release mechanism for their real-world anger or frustration.
Since they cannot shout at their boss, co-workers, or neighbors without real-world
consequences, they take their frustrations out in an anonymous online forum, where
there are no real consequences for their anti-social behavior.
Negative interactions get more attention. Human nature is such that we respond more
quickly and more strongly to negative comments. In this way, forum bullies are the ones
that get the most attention and the most followers. This online attention positively
reinforces the bullying behavior, which causes more bullying to occur. Today, many
people are trying to make money online through advertising. Getting forum attention
generates more buzz, this gets them more traffic, which translates into more money.
It does not matter to him whether it is negative or positive attention as long as it is attention.
By responding, we are giving the bully what he wants. In addition, by giving an emotional,
negative response, we are letting the bully know that he has gotten under our skin.
Forum bullies are the scum of the Earth and they deserve nothing from us – not our attention,
not our time, and certainly not our emotional well-being. One of the best ways to deal with
online bullies is to hit the delete button. If we cannot delete their comment in fact, then simply
delete it from our consciousness and move on.
Forum bullies are after attention so they may try to egg you on by further calling you names,
calling you a coward, and raging on in a negative fashion. They will try to bring you down to
their own sad level of existence.
Delete, ignore, and a bully will shout himself out, like a young child throwing a tantrum.
Hopefully, he will learn from this experience and find more productive activities with which to
fill his time. Otherwise, he will simply continue to fritter his time away in negative pursuits,
which will hurt him a lot more than it hurts us.
We want to stop bullying and pointless personal attacks because it will quickly ruin a perfectly
good online community. If the community forum gets taken up with mostly tit-for-tat type
shouting, nobody in their right mind would want to visit, much less participate.
We are often very affected by our surrounding social environment. The more bullying there is,
the more bullying it will attract. If we create an environment that is unfriendly to bullying, then
these online thugs will go somewhere else to spread their particular form of decay and rot.
It is a big waste of time to interact with forum bullies. However, if we feel compelled to
converse with our friendly online thug, then the only way to fight negative verbal attacks is by
dispelling it with humor and positive energy. Rehabilitating a forum bully will take a lot of
patience and a lot of positive energy. There is little point to it unless we are applying for
Sainthood.
The key though is to recognize those negative actions and to take steps to correct them.
When we commit negative acts and bullying behavior, we not only hurt others, but actually
end up hurting ourselves most.
You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I tell you, do
not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.
And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If
someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and
do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.—Matthew 5:38–42, NIV
Today, many of us see nonresistance or nonviolence as a weakness. After all, if we turn the
other cheek, we may just keep getting slapped. Therefore, we are encouraged to slap back and
show strength. Bullies try to turn everyone into their likeness by calling us cowards for not
resorting to verbal violence.
I used to think that “turning the other cheek” was a weakness. After all, why should I spare
pain to a bully when he seems to have no concern for me or others. It was not until later that I
realized that “cheek turning” is not really for the bully, but for me.
Negative energy infects, and bullies carry negative energy like plague ridden fleas. The way to
combat this particular plague is not by spreading more negative energy. Rather, we want to
dispel the negativity with positive energy or just ignore the flea and use plenty of repellent.
When we commit negative acts and bullying behavior, we not only hurt others, but actually
end up hurting ourselves most.