Conflict Management Style Survey

Student name: ____________________________ Date: _____/______/_____

Instructions:
Choose a single frame of reference for answering all fifteen items (e.g. work-related
conflicts, family conflicts, or social conflicts) and keep that frame of reference in
mind when answering the items.

Allocate 10 points among the four alternative answers given for each of the fifteen
items below.

Example: When the people I supervise become involved in a personal conflict I

usually:

Intervene to Call a meeting

Offer to help if Ignore the
settle the to talk over the
I can problem
dispute problem
3 6 1 0

Ensure that your answers add up to 10.

1. When someone I care about is actively hostile toward me i.e. yelling, threatening,
abusive etc. I tend to:

Try to persuade
the person to Stay and listen
Respond in a
give up his/her as long as Walk Away
hostile manner
actively hostile possible
behaviour

2. When someone who is relatively unimportant to me is actively hostile toward me i.e. yelling,
threatening, abusive etc. I tend to:

Try to
persuade the
Stay and listen
person to give Respond in a
as long as Walk Away
up his/her hostile manner
possible
actively hostile
behaviour

Eagle Training Services NT 1 Conflict Management Style Survey

3. When involved in an interpersonal dispute, my general pattern is to:

Draw the Let time take

Examine the
other person Look hard for its course and
issues between
into seeing a workable let the
us as logically
the problem compromise problem work
as possible
as I do itself out

4. The quality that I value the most in dealing with conflict would be:

Emotional
Love and
strength and Intelligence Patience
openness
security

5. When someone does something that irritates me (e.g. smokes in a non-smoking area or
crowds in line in front of me), my tendency in communicating with the offending person is to:

Stand close Use my hands Stand close Stand back

and make and body to without and keep my
physical illustrate my touching him or hands to
contact points her myself

6. When I perceive another person as meeting his/her needs at my expense, I am apt to:

Rely on
persuasion
Work to do and "facts" Work hard at
Accept the
anything I can when changing how
situation as it
to change attempting to I related to
is
that person have that that person
person
change

7. When I see a serious conflict developing between two people I care about, I tend to:

Attempt to
Express my
persuade Watch to see
disappointment Leave the
them to what
that this had to scene
resolve their develops
happen
differences

Eagle Training Services NT 2 Conflict Management Style Survey

8. When someone does something that irritates me (e.g. smokes in a non-smoking area or
crowds in line in front of me), my tendency in communicating with the offending person is to:

Use strong, Talk gently and

Try to
direct language tell the person Say and do
persuade the
and tell the what my nothing
person to stop
person to stop feelings are

9. When I see a serious conflict developing between two people who are relatively
unimportant to me, I tend to:

Express my Attempt to
disappointment persuade them Watch to see Leave the
that this had to to resolve their what develops scene
happen differences

10. Following a serious altercation with someone I care for deeply, I:

Want to go
Strongly desire back and work Worry about it Let it lie and
to go back and it out - a lot but not not plan to
settle things whatever give plan to initiate initiate further
my way and take is further contact contact
necessary

11. The feedback that I receive from most people about how I behave when faced with
conflict and opposition indicates that I:

Try to work out Take a soft or

Try hard to get Usually avoid
differences conciliatory
my way the conflict
cooperatively position

12. When communicating with someone with whom I am having serious conflict, I:

Am an active
Try to Am a passive
Talk a little bit listener
overpower the listener
more than I (feeding back
other person (agreeing and
listen words and
with my speech apologising)
feelings)

Eagle Training Services NT 3 Conflict Management Style Survey

13. When involved in an unpleasant conflict, I:

Make an
Use humour occasional quip Suppress all
Relate humour
with the other or joke about attempts at
only to myself
party the situation or humour
the relationship

14. When someone does something that irritates me (e.g. smokes in a non-smoking area or
crowds in line in front of me), my tendency in communicating with the offending person is to:

Look the
Insist that the person directly Maintain Avoid looking
person look me in the eye and intermittent eye directly at the
in the eye maintain eye contact person
contact

15. When I observe people in conflicts in which anger, threats, hostility and strong
opinions are present, I tend to:

Become Observe to Leave as

Attempt to
involved and see what quickly as
mediate
take position happens possible

Eagle Training Services NT 4 Conflict Management Style Survey

 CONFLICT MANAGEMENT STYLE SURVEY
INTERPRETATION SHEET

Instructions:

When you have completed all fifteen items, add your scores vertically resulting in
four column totals. Put these in the blank spaces below.

Totals:

Column 1 Column 2 Column 3 Column 4

Using your total scores in each column, fill in the bar graph below.

1 2 3 4
150
125
100
75
50
25
0

Eagle Training Services NT 5 Conflict Management Style Survey

 TEST YOUR LISTENING SKILLS
Consider the questions generally, or only in relation to a particular part of your life (as a
family member, as a member of a work-group). Circle the appropriate answer. Complete this
questionnaire again in a few days’ time - your responses may differ in different situations or
at different times.

Nearly Almost
Often Occasionally
Always Never
Do you continue to do other tasks (signing
1. letters, working on your computer) while others 1 2 3 4

Do you concentrate on how the speaker is

2. groomed, dressed and the gestures they make 1 2 3 4
rather than on the content of what is being said?

Do physical barriers (noise, cold) distract you

3.
from listening?
1 2 3 4

Do you pay attention to other things (TV,

4. 1 2 3 4
radio) while someone is talking?

Do you only pretend to listen when someone is

5. 1 2 3 4
speaking - in fact, your mind is drifting?

Do you take notes when convenient when

6. 4 3 2 1
someone is speaking?

If you take notes are they so detailed that you

7.
lose track of what is being said?
1 2 3 4

Are your notes so disorganised that they are of

8. 1 2 3 4
no use to you later?

Do you believe that facts (and not emotions,

9. values, opinions) are the only things worth 1 2 3 4

10. Do you interrupt when other people are 1 2 3 4

ki ?
Do you believe that boring people have nothing
11. 1 2 3 4
useful to say?

Do you occasionally paraphrase (put in your own

12. 4 3 2 1
words and summarise) what someone has said?

SUBTOTAL 1

Eagle Training Services NT 6 Conflict Management Style Survey

 Nearly Almost
Often Occasionally
Always Never

Do you lose track of what is being said because

13. 1 2 3 4
you have been thinking of your response?

14. Do you look directly at the speaker? 4 3 2 1

Do you 'tune-out' when you think you know what

15. 1 2 3 4
people are going to say?

Do you find that what is 'unsaid' by a speaker

(things that are deliberately avoided or not
16.
stated or left out) is instructive as to what is
1 2 3 4
said?
Do you forget what a speaker said only
17. 1 2 3 4
recently?

Do you relax and become uncritical when the

18. speaker seems to reflect your values and uses 1 2 3 4
jargon you are comfortable with?

19. Do you forget traffic directions? 1 2 3 4

Do you believe that unless you interrupt the

20. speaker, he or she will interpret you’re not 1 2 3 4
interrupting as agreement?

When someone uses jargon, slang or

specialised language that you do not
21.
understand do you not ask for an explanation so
1 2 3 4
that you do not appear the fool?

Do you change the subject of conversation

22. 1 2 3 4
when someone is talking?

Do you fail to make responses or feedback

23. (such as, no head-nods, no "hmm" noises, 1 2 3 4
bland stare, and frozen face) to a speaker?

24. Do you forget the names of speakers? 1 2 3 4

Do you welcome distractions and or

25. 1 2 3 4
interruptions when someone is talking?

Do you find it difficult to sit or stand in one spot

26. 1 2 3 4
for more than two minutes?

SUBTOTAL 2

Eagle Training Services NT 7 Conflict Management Style Survey

 Nearly Almost
Often Occasionally
Always Never

Do you find that the solution to most people's

problems is obvious and they need to be told
27. 1 2 3 4
about it sooner rather than later, before they
waste any more of your time or theirs?
Do you ask speakers to repeat themselves
28. (even though your hearing is physically OK and 1 2 3 4
the speaker's diction is clear)?

29. Do you talk to others when a speaker is talking? 1 2 3 4

When someone is speaking, do you find yourself

30. planning the more important activities you want 1 2 3 4
to do once they have gone?

SUBTOTAL 3

SUBTOTAL 1

SUBTOTAL 2

SUBTOTAL 3

Add up all your answers to find out your

TOTAL SCORE:

Eagle Training Services NT 8 Conflict Management Style Survey

 ASSERTIVENESS QUESTIONNAIRE
Indicate how comfortable you feel in each of the following situations.
Score 1 if you feel very uncomfortable
2 if you feel slightly uncomfortable
3 if you feel reasonably comfortable
4 if you feel very comfortable

Enter 1, 2, 3 or 4
Asking for the service you expect which you haven't
1
received in a shop or restaurant

2 Expressing anger when you are angry

3 Initiating a conversation with a stranger

4 Saying "no" to someone without being apologetic

5 Speaking up in front of a group

6 Admitting to either fear or ignorance

Requesting the return of a borrowed item without

7
apology
Receiving a compliment and saying something to
8
acknowledge that you agree

9 Touching a colleague or friend affectionately

10 Returning a defective item to a shop or restaurant

11 Asking a favour of someone

12 Turing down a request for a meeting or date

Telling a friend that they are doing something that
13
bothers you
14 Asking for and accepting constructive criticism
Discussing another person's criticism of you openly
15
with them
16 Telling a friend exactly how you feel

17 Arguing with another person

18 Telling an acquaintance that you like him or her

19 Treating yourself or doing something just for you

Refusing a friend a favour when you don't want to
20
do it
TOTAL SCORE

Eagle Training Services NT 9 Conflict Management Style Survey

 QUESTIONNAIRE RESPONSES

What do your scores indicate?

ASSERTIVENESS QUESTIONAIRE

Over 55 You are assertive

40-55 You are quite assertive
Under 40 You could be more assertive

TEST YOUR LISTENING SKILLS QUESTIONNAIRE

30 - 50 You are a poor listener. You need to commit time and energy to
improve your listening skills.
51 - 75 Average. Practice, practice and you will improve.
76 - 100 Good listening skills. You could be great but needs more work.
101 - 120 Excellent listener. Congratulations

CONFLICT MANGEMENT QUESTIONNAIRE

Column 1 - Aggressive/Confrontive

High scores indicate a tendency toward "taking the bull by the horns" and a
strong need to control situations and/or people. Those who use this style are
often directive and judgemental.

Column 2 - Assertive/Persuasive

High scores indicate a tendency to stand up for oneself without being pushy, a
proactive approach to conflict, and a willingness to collaborate. People who use
this style depend heavily on their verbal skills.

Column 3 - Observant/Introspective

High scores indicate a tendency to observe others and examine oneself

analytically in response to avoid conflict situations as well as a need to adopt
counselling and listening modes of behaviour. Those who use this style are
likely to be cooperative, even conciliatory.

Column 4 - Avoiding/Reactive

High scores indicate a tendency toward passivity or withdrawal in conflict

situations and a need to avoid confrontation. Those who use this style are
usually accepting and patient, often suppressing their strong feelings.

Eagle Training Services NT 10 Conflict Management Style Survey