Shifts

Shifts in Tense
Shifts in Voice
Shifts in Mood
Shifts in Person
Shifts in Perspective
Shifts in Number
Shifts in Tone and Style
Shifts in Direct and Indirect Quotations

A shift is an unnecessary or illogical change of tense, voic e, mood, person, number, tone or style,
viewpoint, or direct and indirect quotations wit hin a sentence, paragraph, or essay. While there
are times when it is necessary to shift one of these elements to clarify meaning, unnecessary
shifts confus e your reader and distort the meaning of y our writing.

Avoid illogical and unnecessary shi fts.

Shifts in Tense
A shift in tense occurs when the tenses of verbs within a sentenc e or paragraph do not logically
match. Sometimes, however, it is necessary to shift tenses to indicate specific changes in
meaning. In the following example, the shift in tense is necessary to underscore the parallel
career choices bet ween mother and daughter by explaining that Kathy's career will occur in the
future, while her mother worked in the same field in the past: K athy will become a lawyer thirty
years aft er her mother was admitted to the bar. But shifts in tense not required by the meaning of
the sentence are distracting to your reader, as the following examples illustrate.

E XAMPLES:

Conf using:

Michigan was a land-grant university and therefore two years of military drill will
be compulsory.

Revised:

Michigan was a land grant university and therefore two years of military drill was
compulsory.

Conf using:
 Throughout the eighties the junk-bond market rose steadily; as a result, small
investors invest heavily from 1985 to 1989.

Revised:

Throughout the eighties the junk-bond market rose steadily; as a result, small
investors invested heavily from 1985 to 1989.

Conf using:

Last night I was watching my favorite television show. Suddenly the show i s
interrupted for a special news bulletin. I lean forward and will eagerly watch the
screen for information.

Revised:

Last night I was watching my favorite television show. Suddenly the show was
interrupted for a special news bulletin. I leaned forward and eagerly watched the
screen for information.

Shifts in Voice
Voice shows whether the subject of the verb acts or is acted upon. When the subject of the verb
does the action, the sentence is said to be in the active voice: I hit the ball across the field.
When the subject of the verb receives the action, the sentenc e is said to be in the passive voice:
The ball was hit by me.

As with shifts in tense, there are times when it will be necessary to shift voice within a sent enc e.
Sometimes a shift in voice will help a reader zero in on the focus of the sentenc e, as in the
following example: The volunteer work ed diligently and was rewarded with a paid position in the
organization. Shifts in voice also serve to give emphasis: Despite town board protests, planned
repairs to the town swimming pool were shelved for the time being. Unnecessary shifts in voice,
however, can confuse readers, as the following examples show.

E XAMPLES:

Conf using:

As we finished our coffee and tea, the waiters and waitresses were seen
clearing the adjacent tables.

Revised:

As we finished our coffee and tea, we saw the waiters and waitresses clearing
the adjac ent tables.

Conf using:

The cook mixed the bread dough until it was blended and then it was set in the
warm oven to rise.

Revised:
 The cook mixed the bread dough until it was blended and then set it in the
warm oven to rise.

OR

The bread dough was mixed until it was blended and then it was set in the
warm oven to rise.

Shifts in Mood
As with tense and voice, there are occasions when writers have to shift mood within or between
sentences to make their meaning clear. Unnec essary shifts in mood, however, can cause
confusion.

Shifts in mood often occur in giving directions, when a writer moves between the imperative
mood and the indicative mood. Some writers feel that directions are more effective when given
in the imperative mood. The following examples illustrate annoying or confusing shifts in mood:

E XAMPLES:

Conf using:

Stroke the paint on evenly, but you should not dab it on corners and edges.
(shift from imperative to indicative)

Revised:

Stroke the paint on evenly, but don't dab it on corners and edges.

OR

You should stroke the paint on evenly, but you shouldn't dab it on corners
and edges.

Conf using:

The cleaning service asked that they get better hours and they want to work
fewer weekends as well. (shift from subjunctive to indicative)

Revised:

The cleaning service asked that they get better hours and that they work
fewer weekends as well.

OR

The cleaning service asked to work better hours and fewer weekends.

OR

The cleaning service wants to work better hours and fewer weekends.
Shifts in Person
Person means the form a pronoun or verb takes to show the person or persons speaking: the
first pers on (I, we), second person (you), or third person (he, she, it, they). As the pronouns
indicate, the first person is the person talking, the second person is the pers on spoken to, and
the third person is the person, concept, or thing spoken about.

Shifts between the second- and third-person pronouns cause the most confusion. Some people
feel that these shifts are the most common because E nglish allows us to refer to people in
general in both the second person (you) and the third person (a person, one; people, they). The
following examples illustrate common shifts in person and different ways to revise such shifts.

E XAMPLE:

Conf using:

When one shops for an automobile, you should research various models in
consumer magazines and read all the advertisements as well as speak to
salespeople. (shift from the third to the second person)

Revised:

When you shop for an automobile, you should research various models in
consumer magazines and read all the advertisements as well as speak to
salespeople.

OR

When one shops for an automobile, one should research various models in
consumer magazines and read all the advertisements as well as speak to
salespeople.

OR

When people shop for an automobile, they should research various models in
consumer magazines and read all the advertisements as well as speak to
salespeople.

Conf using:

When a person applies thems elves diligently, you can accomplish a surprising
amount.

Revised:

When people apply themselves diligently, they can accomplish a surprising

amount.

OR

When you apply yourself diligently, you can accomplish a surprising amount.
 OR

When a person applies himself or herself diligently, he or she can accomplish a

surprising amount.

Shifts in Perspective
Shifts in perspective are related to shifts in person in that both change the vantage point from
which a piece of writing is told. As with other shifts, there will be occasions when it is desirable to
shift pers pective, but unnecessary shifts confuse readers. In the following ex ample, the
perspective shifts from above the water to below without adequate transition.

E XAMPLE:

Conf using:

The frothy surfac e of the ocean danced wit h bursts of light and the fish swam
lazily through the clear water and waving plants.

Revised:

The frothy surfac e of the ocean danced wit h bursts of light; below, the fish swam
lazily through the clear water and waving plants.

Shifts in Number

Person and Number with Collective Nouns

Number indicates one (singular) or many (plural). Shifts in number occur wit h nouns and
personal pronouns because both change form to show differences in number. Confusion with
number occurs especially often bet ween a pronoun and its antecedent and between words whose
meanings relate to each other. As a general rule, shifts in number can be corrected if singular
pronouns are used to refer to singular antecedents and plural pronouns are used t o refer to plural
antecedents. The following examples show how shifts in number can be revised for greater clarity
and improved style.

E XAMPLES:

Conf using:

If a person does not keep up with household affairs, they will find that things pile
up with alarming speed. (shift from singular to plural)

Revised:

If a person does not keep up with household affairs, he or she will find that
things pile up with alarming speed.
 OR

If people do not keep up wit h hous ehold affairs, they will find that things pile up
with alarming speed.

Conf using:

All the repair stations have a good reputation. (repair stations is plural;
reputation is singular)

Revised:

All the repair stations have good reputations.

Person and Number with Collective Nouns

Maintaining consistency of pers on and number is especially tricky with collective nouns, since
many can be either singular or plural, depending on the context. Once you establish a collective
noun as singular or plural within a sentenc e, maintain consistency throughout.

E XAMPLES:

Conf using:

Because my company bases their bonus on amount of income generated

yearly, we must all do our share to enable it to give a generous bonus. (company
can be either singular or plural)

Revised:

Because my company bases its bonus on amount of income generated yearly,

we must all do our share to enable it to give a generous bonus.

OR

Because my company bases their bonus on amount of income generated

yearly, we must all do our share to enable them to give a generous bonus.

Conf using:

The jury i s divided on whether or not they should demand additional evidence.

Revised:

The jury are divided on whether or not they should demand additional evidence.
(jury functioning as separat e individuals)

Shifts in Tone and Style

Tone in writing is the writer's attitude toward his or her readers and subject. As pitch and volume
convey tone in speaking, so word choic e and sentence structure help convey tone in writing.
Tone can be formal or informal, humorous or earnest, distant or friendly, pompous or personal, or
any number of different stances. Obviously, different tones are appropriate for different
audiences.

Style is a writer's way of writing. Style comprises every way a writer uses language. Elements of
style include tone, word choice, figurative language, grammatical structure, rhythm, and sentence
length and organization.

Generally speaking, a piece of writing is more powerful and effective if consistent tone and style
are maintained throughout. Needless shifts in tone and style confuse read ers and weaken the
impact of a piece of writing.

E XAMPLES:

Shift:

Reporters who assert that freedom of the press can be maintained without
judicial intervention are really bananas. (shift from elevated diction to colloquial)

Revised:

Reporters who assert that freedom of the press can be maintained without
judicial intervention are greatly mi staken.

Shift:

Their leave-t aking was marked by the same cool that had characterized their
entire visit with us. Later, we discussed their good humor, consideration, and
generosity. (shift from colloquial to standard written English)

Revised:

Their leave-t aking was marked by the same affability that had characterized
their entire visit with us. Later, we discussed their good humor, consideration,
and generosity.

Shifts in Direct and Indirect Quotations

Direct quotations use quotation marks to report a speaker's exact words: "I'll be the referee for
this week's game," Mr. Kinsella said. Usually, direct quotations are als o marked by a phrase such
as she said or he remark ed, which indicates the speaker.

Indirect quotations report what was said, but not necessarily in the speaker's own words: Mr.
Kinsella said that he would be the referee for this week's game. Since the remarks do not have to
be reproduced exactly, indirect quotations do not use quotation marks. Often, a reported
statement will be int roduced by that, who, how, if, what, why, or whether.

Illogic al shifts between direct and indirect quot ations can bec ome wordy, lead to illogical tense
shifts, and confuse readers. As the following examples show, these errors can usually be
eliminated by recording a speaker's remarks with logic and consistency regardless of whether
direct or indirect quotations or a combination of the two are used.
E XAMPLES:

Wordy:

Poet and critic T. S. Eliot said that he feels that the progress of an artist was like
a long process of sacrifice of self, "a continual extinction of personality."

Revised:

Poet and critic T. S. Eliot said that the progress of an artist is a long proc ess of
self-sacrifice, "a continual extinction of personality."

OR

Poet and critic T. S. Eliot said that to progress, artists must sacrifice and
extinguish the self.

Conf using:

Jill asked whether we had cut down the storm -damaged tree and "Was there any
further damage?"

Revised:

Jill asked whether we had cut down the storm -damaged tree and if there was any
further damage.