December 26, 2010

Mt 2:13-15, 19-23
Feast of the Holy Family
The Flight to Egypt

The Cradle of Love

Jesus, Mary and Joseph - collectively we call them the Holy Family. They have become the
foundation of every Christian family life. They are called such not only because Jesus is holy
and is the source of all holiness, but also because they faithfully lived out the principles God
has originally designed for the family.

The Christian family is primarily the protector of life. Today’s gospel tells of the Holy Family’s
journey to Egypt to escape the wrath of Herod. We can picture the baby Jesus under the
protective embrace of Mother Mary while Joseph leading them out through the desert towards
a distant land. Loving parents would do anything to defend the life of their children.

It is in the family where a child’s character is basically formed. Scriptures narrate that Jesus
advanced in wisdom and age and favor before God and man. Jesus was raised as a faithful
Jewish boy in the traditions of Israel and fulfilling what the law requires. Values like love,
respect, obedience and concern, are first caught in the family.

The Christian family, in essence, is also a small church. Reverence for God and the practice of
living a holy life should be in the very fiber of a Christian family. To know, to love and to serve
God should begin at home.

At present, there are modern King Herods which seek to destroy the image of Jesus in the
family. Issues on divorce, abortion, contraceptive mentality, euthanasia, atheism, and moral
relativism attack the very foundation of the Christian family. We need to do our part to protect
life, to teach values, and to promote authentic worship to God.

Let us reflect on this - that Jesus became one with us through a family. The family is given a
special role to play in God’s plan. In the salvation of man, God did not offer instant solutions.
Instead, He chose to go through the natural, gradual process of human development - from
being conceived, to being born, to growing up, to living in a community, to the offering up of
His life on the cross.

There are no “alternative,” “modern,” and “instantaneous” approaches to life that can offer
lasting solutions to the world’s economic and social problems. God has shown us the way –
strengthen the family and live out the very design God has for this basic unit of society.

Chronicles of a Father-to-Be

“Man, behold thy son…son, behold thy father”. The statement is an adaptation of one of the
last words of Jesus on the cross. It conveys a message of self-giving, of entrusting a beloved to
another beloved. For indeed, fatherhood is a role of trust, a commission from the Giver of Life
Himself who bestowed upon fathers (and mothers) a marvel of a blessing called a child.

It was early dawn, two strips, one more pronounced than the other, appeared in the pregnancy
test kit. In the box, it says that such is considered as “weak positive.” It was probable that
Emmie is pregnant. We have to confirm. Four days and P600 later (I suddenly began to think
that way), we went for an ultrasound. The result – presence of gestational sac – which in
English means, “Congratulations guys, you’re having a baby.” Call it selfish, but I recalled
compelling my wife, “Let me be the one to tell the rest of the world about it.” I want others to
know from me firsthand about that tiny adorable zygote – our baby. I was imagining how my
parents would react when I would go to their house and somehow sheepishly tell them, “Ma,
Dad…nakabuntis ako!”

The following days were fun and exciting as we shared the news with family, relatives, friends
and even strangers. People were asking if I prefer a boy or a girl. I just told them that I’ll be
glad whatever God would give us. More queries pour in, What name would you give, What do
you want him or her to be, Do you want your baby to enter religious life, Would it be a
caesarian delivery, and so on. Someone also asked a very cute question, “If your child is a
boy, what would you do if he is gay?” Ha, ha, ha, that was cute…right? No kidding, but that
too was included in the gamut of questions thrown to us.

It dawned to me that fatherhood is not just about bearing offspring, but planning for their life
as well. A life was entrusted to me and as a father, what happens to that life is my
responsibility. This thought somehow chills me to the bones. How can I protect my child from
the harsh realities of the world?

Let me try to illustrate. A book was lent to us by a friend discussing about the technicalities
and expectations of having a baby. Do you know how many pages were devoted for would-be-
fathers? Less than a page! The rest of the more or less 200 plus pages is addressed to
mommies. If you go to a bookstore and look for literatures that expectant parents can use,
about 99% are for mothers, and if lucky enough, a meager 1% chance of finding a book for a
father-to-be.

It hit me that our society somehow prepares mothers more than fathers in the field of
parenting. Most parenting columns and articles that I have encountered deal with the “glories
of motherhood.” True, there is no substitute for the tender care of a mother. But there is a
great tendency that fathers are put on less active roles in parenting and are given the main
task of being “good providers”. Let’s face it, in some ways, we measure good fathers by how
well they can provide for the needs of the family.

This leads us back to the question how do I protect my child from the harsh realities of the
world, the answer is – I can’t. The outside world will always be there, whether I’m a father or
not. But this I can do – to be involved in the growing years of my child. I want my child to
know that I shall be always available for him. I believe there are a lot of broken homes
because fathers are uninvolved in the parenting task. I want not only to be a mere provider of
material needs of my child, but also to be a source of emotional and moral support.

In my passage towards fatherhood, I have come to reflect on three things.

First, fatherhood is a journey of faith. If God has entrusted me with a very precious gift such as
this child, I believe that He shall provide the grace to help me fulfill my role as a good father.
And I need to be open to what God wants me to do. Faith will remind me that God’s will be
done, not mine. As God manifest Himself in many ways, I believe that He again reveals
Himself through that fragile life inside my wife’s womb.

Emmie would always pull my hand and place it on her abdomen whenever the baby would
produce movement. Each time, I experience a sense of amazement feeling that little motion
inside her. I would try to imagine what our baby is doing. I would do gentle strokes as if trying
to hold those tiny hands inside. Sometimes I would put my ears closer and I would hear
bubbling sounds as if someone is rubbing a balloon. I cannot help but be awed of the
greatness of God contained inside the womb.

Second, fatherhood is a message of hope. Hope goes beyond positive thinking. Hope allows
me to see through things, to grasp the meaning of something which may be difficult to
understand.

Here’s a simple experiment. If you ask
them would answer one or two. Why?
that children are seen as burdens and
and prosperity for them. Responsible
mouths to feed.
how many children couples would like to have, most of
Because that is what is being fed to them by society –
that having fewer children would mean more comfort
parenthood is seen on the perspective of having less

It may be true that nowadays it is economically difficult to raise kids. But this does not change
the fact that children are blessings and not burdens. Hope brings me to awareness that the
being inside the womb is my own flesh and blood and not just a conglomeration of cells. Hope
strengthens my resolve that beyond the tough demands of parenting, my child is beautiful.
Lastly, fatherhood is a product of love. Two people who love each other that they cannot help
but share that love to their child.

I was teary-eyed the first time I saw our child through the ultrasound. Initially, there seems to
be a mass array of silver to grayish dots on the screen. Then it apparently became clear – the
form of a human child being reflected by the sound waves. I was caught between disbelief and
excitement, and all I can say was, “Hi, my baby!”

There is no love without sacrifice. At the onset of the pregnancy, I knew that I would be
bracing myself of the changes to happen in our married life. Changes that would demand
more of me.

Any pregnant woman would know of the intricate, delicate conditions she would be in. As a
husband, I need to be a more understanding and nurturing partner to my wife. Believe me,
mood swings here and there, physical discomforts from different angles, erratic sleep habits,
and preference for out-of-this-world foods. This was just only for the first trimester. Love is
the fuel that keeps me going even in the dead of the night. Love is the language that
understands the illogical lingo of moodiness. At the end of the day, love is the key that tells
me that true rest is seen in the service of my family.

A few more weeks to go and I will be hearing the first cries of my child. I will wait for that day.
I will see the face of God revealed, the anticipation of good things to come, and the passion to
press on. In the end, these three things will last, faith, hope and love. And the greatest of
these is love…

Reflection Guide:
1. What are the challenges being faced by families in the modern world?
2. What is the greatest gift that you can give to your family?
3. How do we preserve and promote the plan of God for families?

Follow-up Activity:
It is nice to trace your roots. Draw your family tree. For each person in that tree, write a short
description on how you felt God’s love through them.

Prayer:
(Do this prayer at home together with your family)

Leader: Let us remember that we are in the presence of God who called us to become
a family. We are given only one family to belong and to cherish. We are now
gathered to thank God for choosing our families to come into being and for choosing
us to belong to our respective families.

Our family is a gift from God. We did not choose who will be our children. Nor did we
choose who will be our parents. It was God who chose us, to come together, to be as
one, to be a family. As we reflect on God’s goodness for this precious gift, let us
remember to value one another, and that we are all part of God’s larger family. Like
the Holy Family, may we also be living witnesses of God’s love today.

Intercessory Prayer
Let us entrust our family to our Lord as we pray, “Jesus, loving savior, bless our
family.”

(for the parents)

a. We pray for the father of this home that like St. Joseph, grant him wisdom and
courage as the head of this house. Teach him to be a more loving husband
and a responsible father. Let us pray: Jesus, loving savior, bless our
family.
 b. We pray for the mother of this home that like Mother Mary, may she be a true
handmaid, a good partner to her husband and a loving mother to the children.
Let us pray: Jesus, loving savior, bless our family.
c. May they freely express themselves to each other through an honest, open,
and loving dialogue, and that their words, thoughts, and deeds be guided by
God’s loving Spirit. Let us pray: Jesus, loving savior, bless our family.
d. We pray that through them, family members, friends, and even neighbors
may feel the joy and love they have for each other. Let us pray: Jesus, loving
savior, bless our family.

(for single parent/guardian)

a. We pray for (name), guide him/her in establishing this family God has given.
Help him/her fulfill this precious role as a parent in this family. Let us pray:
Jesus, loving savior, bless our family.
b. Grant him/her strentgth and courage to carry on despite hardships and trials.
Let us pray: Jesus, loving savior, bless our family.

(for the children)

a. We pray for the children, that through the Holy Spirit, may they be ready to
respond to the guidance of their parents so that they may grow to have
respect and love for people and life. Let us pray: Jesus, loving savior, bless
our family.
b. We pray that you help them in their studies and work, and may they be a
source of joy for the family. Let us pray: Jesus, loving savior, bless our
family.
c. May they also be instruments of love and peace for their friends, neighbors,
playmates, and other family members. Let us pray: Jesus, loving savior,
bless our family.

Lord God, hear our prayers. Look upon us whom you have called to family life, also
our children who are our treasures. Through Mary, our mother, and St. Joseph, we
pray that you continue to bless our family, for richer or for poorer, and that our love
may increase for one another each day, and always. Amen.

End with the singing of “Only Selfless Love” by Fr. Carlo Magno Marcelo.