EXERCISE 1

Identify the elements of given paragraph and complete the table.

In my opinion, students who take their homework seriously will get more practice and
perform with flying colours in the examinations. Firstly, when students attempt to
complete their homework, they are actually internalising what they have learnt earlier in
school unconsciously. Secondly, teachers may also set test and examination questions
based on the coverage of homework given to students.

In my opinion, students who take their homework seriously

Statement of
will get more practice and perform with flying colours in
Stand the examinations

1. They are actually internalising what they have learnt

Justifications/
Reasons 2. Teachers may also set test and examination questions

Elaborations Firstly, when students attempt to complete their

homework, they are actually internalising what they have
learnt earlier in school unconsciously.

Secondly, teachers may also set test and examination

questions based on the coverage of homework given to
students.

Transition Firstly, Secondly

Signals

Example(s)
EXERCISE 2
Answer the questions below in paragraph form. In your response, state your stand
and justify your view. Write your response between 150-200 words.

2. Western media has a negative impact on local culture. What is your opinion?

In my opinion, western media has a negative impact on local culture because

western media shows bad habits, affect local language and affect traditional
custom. Firstly, western media shows bad habits such as involves in violence
and drinks alcohol. These habits are totally contrast with our culture which
prioritise harmonious and healthy life. Teenagers are also easily influenced by
the bad actions from the western movies and these have lead them to do
vandalism and bullying at school. Secondly, nowadays people loves to learn
western language than local language because of high demand in industry. As in
job advertisement, company owner prefer employees that have learnt western
language as they can interact with international companies and bring new
project. This has encourage the usage of western language and had affected our
local language. Lastly, western media has affected our traditional custom such as
fashion. This can be seen now that people tend to wear short pants, skirts and
high heels. Before this, people tend to wear proper clothes such as baju kurung
and baju melayu. In conclusion, we should treasure and save our local culture
from being forgotten especially by new generations.
EXERCISE 3
Improve on the clarity of the following sentences by using parallel constructions.

1. Critics argue that the television show trivializes violence, glamorises drug use and is
encouraging premarital sex.

Critics argue that the television show trivializes violence, glamorises drug use and is
encourages premarital sex.

2. There are two ways to get a promotion: working hard or make friends in high places.

There are two ways to get a promotion: work hard or mak e friends in high places.

3. The instructor advised his students to use the rear-view mirror often and observing
the speed limit.
The instructor advised his students to use the rear-view mirror often and observe the
speed limit.

4. Taking the train to Shah Alam can actually take less time than to drive there if there is
a traffic jam.

Taking the train to Shah Alam can actually take less time than driving there if there is a
traffic jam.

5. How researchers collect data is just as important as the presentation of the findings.

How researchers collect data is just as important as how the presentation of the
findings.
EXERCISE 4
Improve on the clarity of the following sentences by avoiding unclear pronoun
reference.

1. The supervisors told the workers that they would receive a bonus.
The supervisors told the workers that the workers would receive a bonus.

2. Tina Richards once collaborated with Margaret Laurence on a pop-up book project.
Both Richards and Laurence are Canadian, but only she writes about fictional
Canadian towns.

Tina Richards once collaborated with Margaret Laurence on a pop-up book project.
Both Richards and Laurence are Canadian, but only Tina Richard writes about fictional
Canadian towns.

3. Sally and Bill made repeated visits to the Writing Centre and always started written
assignments early, resulting in improved grades by the end of the semester. This
was soon copied by other students.

Sally and Bill made repeated visits to the Writing Centre and always started written
assignments early, resulting in improved grades by the end of the semester. This trend
was soon copied by other students.

4. The Italian scientist Galileo Galilei upset the Catholic Church by publishing a scientific
paper asserting that the Earth revolves around the sun. That contradicted
contemporary church belief, which held that the Earth was the centre of the universe.

The Italian scientist Galileo Galilei upset the Catholic Church by publishing a scientific
paper asserting that the Earth revolves around the sun. The paper contradicted
contemporary church belief, which held that the Earth was the centre of the univers e.
EXERCISE 5
Improve on the clarity of the following sentences by avoiding multiple negatives.

1. A lack of interest in the lesson can demotivate students from attending classes.

An interesting lesson can motivate students to attend classes.

2. No approval will be received in the absence of the agency’s board of directors.

Approval will be received in the presence of the agency’s board of directors.

3. The lecturer will not entertain students who do not come during consultation hours.

The lecturer will entertain students who come during consultation hours.

4. An application for a grant does not become inactive if the applicant provides the
requested information.

An application for a grant become active if the applicant provides the requested
information.
EXERCISE 6
Identify and employ the appropriate strategy (using parallel construction, avoiding
unclear pronoun reference, or avoiding multiple negatives) to improve on the clarity of
the following text.

1
Chocolate has been known for its good taste and proposed health effects for centuries.
2
Earlier, many physicians tended to warn patients about the potential health hazards of
3
consuming large amounts of chocolate. However, recent discovery has changed this
perception and stimulates research on its effects in ageing, oxidative stress, blood
4
pressure regulation, and atherosclerosis. Today, chocolate is no longer avoided for its
5
lack of health benefits. However, in many studies, contradictory results and concerns
6
about methodological issues have been found. They have made it hard for health
professionals and the public to understand the available evidence on chocolate’s effects
on health.

Strategy (Sentence 3): Parallel construction

Improved sentence:
However, recent discovery has changed this perception and stimulate d research on its
effects in ageing, oxidative stress, blood pressure regulation, and atherosclerosis.

Strategy (Sentence 4): Avoiding multiple negatives

Improved sentence:

Today, chocolate is loved for its health benefits.

Strategy (Sentence 6): Avoiding unclear pronoun reference

Improved sentence:

Contradictory results and concerns about methodological issues have made it hard for
health professionals and the public to understand the available evidence on chocolate’s
effects on health.
EXERCISE 7
Improve on the conciseness of the following sentences by replacing the vague words
with more powerful and specific words.

1. The manager believed but could not confirm that her employees were lying to her.

The manager assumed that her employees were lying to her.

2. In the not too distant future, students will become aware of the fact that there is a
need for them to make contact with their academic advisor.

Soon students will realise that there is a need for them to make contact with their
academic advisor.

3. They had come to the conclusion that the new system had bad results that cost
people a lot of money.

They decided that the new system had bad results that cost people a lot of money .

4. He dropped out of school on account of the fact that it was necessary for him to help
support his family.

He dropped out of school to support his family.

EXERCISE 8
Improve on the conciseness of the following sentences by identifying redundant words,
and revising the sentences.

1. Even though she had performed the operation a numerous number of times, she
still reviewed the basic essentials each and every day.

Even though she had performed the operation a numerous number of times, she still
reviewed the essentials every day.

2. The first priority appears to be to group together the children that live in close
proximity to one another.

The first priority appears to be to group the children that live in proximity to one
another.

3. The local residents filled to capacity the new auditorium as they waited to hear
the developer recount the past history of the archaeological site.

The local residents filled the new auditorium as they waited to hear the developer
recount the history of the archaeological site.

4. In my personal opinion, we should refer back to last year’s budget to see how we
postponed that expenditure until a later time.

In my personal opinion, we should refer back to last year’s budget to see how we
postponed that expenditure.