Boys and Men Healing “Highly Recommended”

Reviewed by Meghann Matwichuk, Morris Library, University of Delaware

The Healing Years and Boys and Men Healing explore two kinds of sexual abuse whi
ch remain a greater taboo even than abuse of young girls and women by non-relate
d perpetrators: incest, and the sexual abuse of young boys and men. These sensit
ive portraits document the numerous individual and societal harms caused by such
abuse. The Healing Years investigates the effects of incest on three women. Boy
s and Men Healing also focuses on three abuse survivors—men who were sexually assa
ulted as children. Both productions intersperse interview segments where victims
from varying social strata and ethnic backgrounds disclose their stories with t
estimonials and facts concerning the long-term effects of abuse. Footage of surv
ivors attending support groups illustrate the various ways survivors cope with t
heir past.
The Healing Years’ goal is to encourage survivors to speak out about their experie
nces, and in doing so, to reclaim their identity. By tracing the subjects’ recover
y processes, the filmmaker presents three distinct journeys from despair and inv
isibility to hope and self-recognition. Best known is a former Miss America, act
ivist Marilyn Van Derbur, who was raped by her well-regarded father and has beco
me an advocate for victim’s rights. Also profiled is a leader of a San Francisco c
hurch who uses her troubled past to relate to inner-city women struggling with a
ddiction (and who are often abuse survivors as well), and an elderly woman who w
itnessed the damage done by three generations of incest in her family. Viewers w
ill also gain an understanding of the many ways the trauma of incest can manifes
t over time. One victim speaks of a sudden onset of physical and psychiatric pro
blems decades after her last instance of abuse. Trust issues given the victims’ fa
milial relationships to their perpetrators further complicate and confuse the re
covery process; viewers are given a sense of the intensely complex and conflicti
ng emotions these women face.
Boys and Men Healing also focuses on the importance of self-validation and the w
idespread effects of abuse. Tendencies toward anger and thoughts of revenge or s
uicide pose particular problems for the men, making intimacy a common challenge.
One young African-American man speaks of his failed relationships, while also d
escribing the effects of his family’s different reactions to his abuse. He is aban
doned by his father who failed to come to terms with his son’s vulnerability and i
s later saved by a supportive grandmother. The role of family members in mitigat
ing or exacerbating damage levied by abuse is made clear. Also of particular foc
us in this production are the laws regarding statute of limitations, which often
restrict the legal actions an adult survivor can take. One man, a victim of a p
edophile priest, campaigns tirelessly to change these laws.
While both films present a sensitive and three-dimensional portrait of the victi
ms, Boys and Men Healing goes a step further in examining the difficult link bet
ween victimhood and perpetration, as well as exploring how allies can best serve
troubled abuse survivors. One of the victims profiled has become a forensic psy
chologist specializing in the impact of sexual abuse on men, and is often called
upon by attorneys representing men charged with murder to evaluate defendants w
ho have suffered abuse. The causal link between childhood abuse and violent tend
encies is discussed in the context of a particular offender, once a victim of ho
rrific abuse. The man has been sentenced to death for his crimes, and the psycho
logist visits him to say goodbye. This interchange personalizes the statistics o
ffered elsewhere in the program regarding the increased likelihood of abuse vict
ims to exhibit destructive behaviors. It highlights the extreme impact of sustai
ned abuse without excusing the victim’s destructive actions.
A brief coda at the end of Boys and Men Healing suggests how friends and service
providers can better provide for and reach out to victims: by providing safe pl
aces where the abused can open up and tell their stories, facilitating proactive
outreach, and teaching parents and other responsible adults how to recognize an
d respond to pleas for help. A listing of current resources scrolls over the pro
gram’s end credits. These additions make Boys and Men Healing the stronger of the
two programs, however they each fill a unique and underrepresented niche.