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Attending to nature’s call is one of the musts in life, just like eating and sleeping.
When nature calls, one cannot do anything but answer. The best one can do
would be to put the call on hold, although that cannot be for long. Even a beep
from nature can spell doom. Dukes, monarchs, presidents and in fact, everybody
It was in my quest to answer one of nature’s calls and also satisfy my curiosity
took me quite a while to make a choice as to where to answer that disturbing call.
I had a number of choices though but I settled for one that outwardly looked
attractive. There were some PVC pipes pointed heavenwards though, probably to
allow some not fresh air to get into the atmosphere. And to think that I breathe in
that same air gives me chills. Thank God we don’t see the air we take in.
Well, I paid a meagre sum of Ten Pesewas and while expecting to be given a toilet
roll, I was rather given a page from an old newspaper. I figured it was the Kotoko
Express, the official Newspaper of Kumasi Asante Kotoko FC. With that in hand, I
was directed to the male cubicles, although I had to fight the temptation to use
the female cubicles which appeared much cleaner. Well, I didn’t need anyone to
tell me where I was because the stench did it all and carried the message across
to me. There was a queue of about three other men waiting for their own special
sessions with nature. After having their turns, it was mine to do same.
Being my turn, I had three cubicles to choose from, and I carefully examined all
three. My verdict was that I choose one that hadn’t undergone much staining.
Well, the cubicle I chose didn’t even give me enough room to remove my
narrow door. Jesus Christ probably had this door in mind when he mentioned
about a large and narrow door in the bible. Back to the cubicle, it was littered
newspapers of various sorts; The Daily Graphic, The Mirror, The Ghanaian Times,
It was then time for the real deal, you know. You can’t imagine how long it took
me to find a posture. I considered sitting, squatting, bending and what have you.
However, I finally settled for sitting although I wasn’t so insane as to barely sit on
the WC. At this point, I was as well prepared as a Ghanaian soldier on a peace-
keeping duty in Lebanon. Quickly, I brought out my own newspaper from the
pocket of my pantaloon and having covered the toilet bowl with it, I read my
Kotoko Express and savoured the aroma underneath, or should I rather say stench
underneath. Interestingly, the newspaper made me forget about where I was and
even wanted to finish reading both sides of it before leaving the cubicle. No doubt
there was a winding queue awaiting me when I came out of nature’s consulting
room, and trust me, I have never donned the apparel I used on my trip ever again.
I don’t need to tell you why- well, it’s just that the natural perfume from my day