HUMSS 12

ROOSEVELT

Adviser
Vennil Aldrine L. Catanis, LPT
LIFE LESSON 3:
ANGER MANAGEMENT SKILLS

Anger is a normal, healthy emotion, neither good nor bad. Like any emotion, it conveys
a message, telling you that a situation is upsetting, unjust, or threatening. If your knee-
jerk reaction to anger is to explode, however, that message never has a chance to be
conveyed. So, while it’s perfectly normal to feel angry when you’ve been mistreated or
wronged, anger becomes a problem when you express it in a way that harms yourself
or others.

You might think that venting your anger is healthy, that the people around you are too
sensitive, that your anger is justified, or that you need to show your fury to get respect.
But the truth is that anger is much more likely to have a negative impact on the way
people see you, impair your judgment, and get in the way of success.

To manage anger, acknowledge that you have a problem, keep a hostility log, and build
a support network based on trust.

Also, use techniques to interrupt your anger, listen, empathize, be assertive with others,
and learn to relax, as well as laugh at yourself.

Finally, don't let anger get in the way of the joys in life, and learn to forgive people who
make you angry.
Student’s works:

ANSWERS: LESSON 3

1.

•When I get angry the symptoms I experience have a headache, sometimes I feel dizzy and I lose my
appetite for everything

•The possible causes of my anger are always hot, the ones that always annoy me, pick me up and get
angry quickly

•My anger lasts when i have something i really want and i really get angry But sometimes when i get
angry with a small thing I forget with that thing

•My anger is justified

•It depends to me how the situation got me anger

•Is your anger justified? Or are you overreacting to a situation or person? Sometimes my anger is also
justified and sometimes I am also wrong because my anger overheats here too because sometimes I
realize that my anger is too much.

2. "I will take a deep breath until I calm myself and I will just keep quiet"
LIFE LESSON 4:
Using Life Skills: Goal Setting and Decision-Making Skills, Managing Stress
Goal setting can look very different depending on an individual’s lifestyle, values and
definition of success. Your goals are unique to you and don’t need to look like anyone
else’s.
The classic goal setting definition boils down to the process of identifying something you
want to accomplish and establishing measurable objectives and timeframes to help you
achieve it. Goal setting can help you in any area of your life, from achieving financial
freedom to adopting a healthy diet. When you learn how to set goals in one area of your
life, it becomes easier to set them in other areas.

Setting progressive goals that allow small wins helps you move on to larger
achievements. These small goals lead to progress, which is the only thing you really
need to feel fulfilled and happy.

Goal setting is vital because it helps you decide and focus on what’s really important to
you. Effective goal setting also lets you measure progress, overcome
procrastination and visualize your dreams. If you don’t know what you want to
accomplish, you can’t create a plan to get there. Setting goals is the vehicle that will
drive you to your desired destination.

Goal setting also keeps you accountable. Whether you’re learning how to set goals at
work or in your personal life, telling others about your goals makes you more likely to
establish the patterns that will accomplish them.
Student’s works:
LIFE LESSON 5:
Developing Higher Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence (otherwise known as emotional quotient or EQ) is the

ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to
relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome
challenges and defuse conflict. Emotional intelligence helps you build stronger
relationships, succeed at school and work, and achieve your career and personal
goals. It can also help you to connect with your feelings, turn intention into
action, and make informed decisions about what matters most to you.

Emotional intelligence is commonly defined by four attributes:

1. Self-management – You’re able to control impulsive feelings and

behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow
through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.
2. Self-awareness – You recognize your own emotions and how they
affect your thoughts and behavior. You know your strengths and
weaknesses, and have self-confidence.
3. Social awareness – You have empathy. You can understand the
emotions, needs, and concerns of other people, pick up on emotional
cues, feel comfortable socially, and recognize the power dynamics in a
group or organization.
4. Relationship management – You know how to develop and maintain
good relationships, communicate clearly, inspire and influence others,
work well in a team, and manage conflict.
Why is emotional intelligence so important?

As we know, it’s not the smartest people who are the most successful or the
most fulfilled in life. You probably know people who are academically brilliant and
yet are socially inept and unsuccessful at work or in their personal relationships.
Intellectual ability or your intelligence quotient (IQ) isn’t enough on its own to
achieve success in life. Yes, your IQ can help you get into college, but it’s your
EQ that will help you manage the stress and emotions when facing your final
exams. IQ and EQ exist in tandem and are most effective when they build off
one another.

Emotional intelligence affects:

Your performance at school or work. High emotional intelligence can help
you navigate the social complexities of the workplace, lead and motivate others,
and excel in your career. In fact, when it comes to gauging important job
candidates, many companies now rate emotional intelligence as important as
technical ability and employ EQ testing before hiring.

Your physical health. If you’re unable to manage your emotions, you are
probably not managing your stress either. This can lead to serious health
problems. Uncontrolled stress raises blood pressure, suppresses the immune
system, increases the risk of heart attacks and strokes, contributes to infertility,
and speeds up the aging process. The first step to improving emotional
intelligence is to learn how to manage stress.

Your mental health. Uncontrolled emotions and stress can also impact your
mental health, making you vulnerable to anxiety and depression. If you are
unable to understand, get comfortable with, or manage your emotions, you’ll
also struggle to form strong relationships. This in turn can leave you feeling
lonely and isolated and further exacerbate any mental health problems.

[Read: Building Better Mental Health]

Your relationships. By understanding your emotions and how to control them,

you’re better able to express how you feel and understand how others are
feeling. This allows you to communicate more effectively and forge stronger
relationships, both at work and in your personal life.

Your social intelligence. Being in tune with your emotions serves a social

purpose, connecting you to other people and the world around you. Social
intelligence enables you to recognize friend from foe, measure another person’s
interest in you, reduce stress, balance your nervous system through social
communication, and feel loved and happy.

Building emotional intelligence: Four key skills to increasing your EQ

The skills that make up emotional intelligence can be learned at any time.
However, it’s important to remember that there is a difference between simply
learning about EQ and applying that knowledge to your life. Just because you
know you should do something doesn’t mean you will—especially when you
become overwhelmed by stress, which can override your best intentions. In
order to permanently change behavior in ways that stand up under pressure, you
need to learn how to overcome stress in the moment, and in your relationships,
in order to remain emotionally aware.

The key skills for building your EQ and improving your ability to manage
emotions and connect with others are:

1. Self-management
2. Self-awareness
3. Social awareness
4. Relationship management
Building emotional intelligence, key skill 1: Self-management

In order for you to engage your EQ, you must be able use your emotions to
make constructive decisions about your behavior. When you become overly
stressed, you can lose control of your emotions and the ability to act thoughtfully
and appropriately.

Think about a time when stress has overwhelmed you. Was it easy to think
clearly or make a rational decision? Probably not. When you become overly
stressed, your ability to both think clearly and accurately assess emotions—your
own and other people’s—becomes compromised.

[Read: Stress Management]

Emotions are important pieces of information that tell you about yourself and
others, but in the face of stress that takes us out of our comfort zone, we can
become overwhelmed and lose control of ourselves. With the ability to manage
stress and stay emotionally present, you can learn to receive upsetting
information without letting it override your thoughts and self-control. You’ll be
able to make choices that allow you to control impulsive feelings and behaviors,
manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on
commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.

Key skill 2: Self-awareness

Managing stress is just the first step to building emotional intelligence. The
science of attachment indicates that your current emotional experience is likely a
reflection of your early life experience. Your ability to manage core feelings such
as anger, sadness, fear, and joy often depends on the quality and consistency of
your early life emotional experiences. If your primary caretaker as an infant
understood and valued your emotions, it’s likely your emotions have become
valuable assets in adult life. But, if your emotional experiences as an infant were
confusing, threatening or painful, it’s likely you’ve tried to distance yourself from
your emotions.

But being able to connect to your emotions—having a moment-to-moment

connection with your changing emotional experience—is the key to
understanding how emotion influences your thoughts and actions.

Do you experience feelings that flow, encountering one emotion after

another as your experiences change from moment to moment?

Are your emotions accompanied by physical sensations that you

experience in places like your stomach, throat, or chest?

Do you experience individual feelings and emotions, such as anger,

sadness, fear, and joy, each of which is evident in subtle facial expressions?

Can you experience intense feelings that are strong enough to capture both
your attention and that of others?

Do you pay attention to your emotions? Do they factor into your decision
making?

If any of these experiences are unfamiliar, you may have “turned down” or
“turned off” your emotions. In order to build EQ—and become emotionally
healthy—you must reconnect to your core emotions, accept them, and become
comfortable with them. You can achieve this through the practice of mindfulness.

[Listen: Mindful Breathing Meditation]

Mindfulness is the practice of purposely focusing your attention on the present

moment—and without judgment. The cultivation of mindfulness has roots in
Buddhism, but most religions include some type of similar prayer or meditation
technique. Mindfulness helps shift your preoccupation with thought toward an
appreciation of the moment, your physical and emotional sensations, and brings
a larger perspective on life. Mindfulness calms and focuses you, making you
more self-aware in the process.
Key skill 3: Social awareness

Social awareness enables you to recognize and interpret the mainly nonverbal
cues others are constantly using to communicate with you. These cues let you
know how others are really feeling, how their emotional state is changing from
moment to moment, and what’s truly important to them.

[Read: Effective Communication]

When groups of people send out similar nonverbal cues, you’re able to read and
understand the power dynamics and shared emotional experiences of the group.
In short, you’re empathetic and socially comfortable.

Mindfulness is an ally of emotional and social awareness

To build social awareness, you need to recognize the importance of mindfulness

in the social process. After all, you can’t pick up on subtle nonverbal cues when
you’re in your own head, thinking about other things, or simply zoning out on
your phone. Social awareness requires your presence in the moment. While
many of us pride ourselves on an ability to multitask, this means that you’ll miss
the subtle emotional shifts taking place in other people that help you fully
understand them.

 You are actually more likely to further your social goals by setting other
thoughts aside and focusing on the interaction itself.

 Following the flow of another person’s emotional responses is a give-

and-take process that requires you to also pay attention to the changes
in your own emotional experience.

 Paying attention to others doesn’t diminish your own self-awareness. By

investing the time and effort to really pay attention to others, you’ll
actually gain insight into your own emotional state as well as your
values and beliefs. For example, if you feel discomfort hearing others
express certain views, you’ll have learned something important about
yourself.

Key skill 4: Relationship management

Working well with others is a process that begins with emotional awareness and
your ability to recognize and understand what other people are experiencing.
Once emotional awareness is in play, you can effectively develop additional
social/emotional skills that will make your relationships more effective, fruitful,
and fulfilling.

Become aware of how effectively you use nonverbal

communication. It’s impossible to avoid sending nonverbal messages to others
about what you think and feel. The many muscles in the face, especially those
around the eyes, nose, mouth and forehead, help you to wordlessly convey your
own emotions as well as read other peoples’ emotional intent. The emotional
part of your brain is always on—and even if you ignore its messages—others
won’t. Recognizing the nonverbal messages that you send to others can play a
huge part in improving your relationships.

Use humor and play to relieve stress. Humor, laughter and play are natural
antidotes to stress. They lessen your burdens and help you keep things in
perspective. Laughter brings your nervous system into balance, reducing stress,
calming you down, sharpening your mind and making you more empathic.

Learn to see conflict as an opportunity to grow closer to others. Conflict

and disagreements are inevitable in human relationships. Two people can’t
possibly have the same needs, opinions, and expectations at all times. However,
that needn’t be a bad thing. Resolving conflict in healthy, constructive ways can
strengthen trust between people. When conflict isn’t perceived as threatening or
punishing, it fosters freedom, creativity, and safety in relationships.

Student’s works:
LIFE LESSON 5: Developing Higher Emotional Intelligence

Objectives: This topic aims the students to become aware of their emotions, assess,
manage their emotions and apply them to daily living. This topic also aims to hone their
skills inin controlling their emotions, not their emotions controlling them.

Am I Assertive?
Assertiveness is the ability to express your wishes and beliefs in a positive way.
Too little assertiveness can make you a doormat. Too much, and we can be bossy and
aggressive.

Think of a time when you were a doormat.

What happened? I was usually called loner, an introvert and my friend often to used it
to their advantage
.___________________________________________________________
What did you do? At first, I just let them be but as the time goes by it became
uncomfortable therefore I stood
ground.____________________________________________________________
How did you feel? Those times I felt inferior to them, like they have a power over my
thinking and movement.
_________________________________________________________

Now, think of a better way to handle that situation in the future. Write a better
response and practice it.
Ready yourself credit your achievements all those things you've done and gone through
your life. Get to know your values those things are woven through you and are
cornerstone for who you are.

_______________________________________________________________________

Think of a time when you were too bossy.

What happened? Well I my humble opinion of course w/o offending any who thinks
differently from my point of view but also by this matter In a different way and w/o
fighting.___________________________________________________________
What did you do? By trying to make it clean and by considering each and every ones
opinion. _________________________________________________________
How did you feel? I honestly believe that I completely forgot that I was going to
say.___________________________________________________________

Now, think of a better way to handle that situation in the future. Write a better
response and practice it.
I am going to handle it in the future by Doing good to others.

Get a Grip on Anger

Sometimes people use anger to get their way.
Being assertive doesn’t mean getting your way;
it means that you can express your wishes and
beliefs in a positive non-destructive way. Some
examples of how people deal with anger are
listed below. Brainstorm some ways that are
used to deal with anger. Include both good and
bad methods. When you have finished with a
list, go back and place an asterisk (*) in the
boxes of the methods that are healthy ways to
deal with anger.
Setting Goals
Listed below are guidelines for setting goals that will help you achieve independence.
Answer the questions and try setting some reasonable goals for yourself. Goals are
easier to accomplish when they are clear, specific, and broken down into steps you can
manage and measure.

How to Set Goals

1. Understand Yourself
What do you do well?
What do you enjoy doing?
What are the most important things in your life?
2. Make Clear, Specific Goals
A goal should tell you exactly what you want and should be measurable. For
example, “I want to score ten goals in soccer this season” is both clear and
specific.
3. Goals Should Be Positive
Say “I want to lose 5 pounds before the prom” rather than “I will never fit into
my dress.”
4. Set Time Limits
Give yourself a reasonable deadline in which to accomplish your goal.
5. Break Your Long Term Goals Down Into Smaller Parts
If your ultimate goal is to be a professional basketball player, a realistic, specific
short-term goal would be to make the varsity basketball team this year.
6. Write Your Goals Down
Keeping your written goals where you can see them will help keep you focused
on achieving them.
7. Check Your Progress
Evaluate your progress towards your goals. Are you doing what needs to be
done to meet your goals? If not, what can you do to get back on target?
Now, It’s Your Turn

Write three clear, specific, manageable goals for this

coming week:
1.

2.

LIFE LESSON 6:
Understanding Emotions

The human mind evolved key adaptations to facilitate our ancient ancestors’ survival
and reproductive challenges. While the environment we live in has changed
dramatically, we still share their capacity for problem solving, perception, belief
systems, and emotional thinking (Workman & Reader, 2015).

A definition of emotional thinking must, therefore, not only (i) cater to the range of
emotions we possess (including both positive and negative); it should also (ii) explain
how we react physically, psychologically, and cognitively to everyday events ( proximate
factors); and (iii) explain why the mechanism evolved over many generations ( ultimate
factors).

Evolutionary psychologist Randolph Nesse (1990) describes emotions as “specialized

modes of operation shaped by natural selection ” to influence behavior in response to
“threats and opportunities.”

After all, evolution’s psychological adaptations are not only for problem solving, but also
for helping and motivating the individual to maintain and sustain goal-directed behavior.
Our ancestors had to identify reliable food sources, avoid being eaten, protect their
young, and find a suitable sexual partner (Workman & Reader, 2015).

Emotions – such as interest, sadness, and anger – are crucial factors in such
motivation, driving us to both act and react. However, while there are clear links, it is
worth noting that emotions differ from motivation regarding their expression. For
example, happiness and anger have physiological responses, such as increased heart
rate and sweating, not shared by motivation.

Indeed, Nesse (1990) suggested there are three components to emotions:

physiological, psychological, and behavioral. For example, a fear of heights may lead to
an increased heart rate and cortisol production, psychological coping strategies, and
specific behavior such as checking and re-checking safety equipment (Diemer,
Lohkamp, Mühlberger, & Zwanzger, 2016).

Recently, research has begun to provide insight into what is happening in the brain
when we experience emotion.

Advanced brain scanning using positron emission tomography and functional magnetic
resonance imaging has identified two potential areas engaged in regulating and
managing our emotions (Workman & Reader, 2015).

 The amygdala, a central part of the limbic system, has been recognized in brain-
injured patients as central to identifying emotions in others’ faces, such as fear,
sadness, and anger.

 The orbitofrontal cortex – vital in many higher-order functions such as reasoning,

processing language, and even consciousness – if damaged, dramatically
changes personality and emotional response (Eysenck & Keane, 2015).

Finally, before leaving the physiology behind, it is worth noting that the brain is also
underpinned by complex chemical activity. Our emotional responses are entirely driven
by hormones such as adrenalin (epinephrine), testosterone, and cortisol.

However, while physiology’s importance in determining our emotions is

evident, how these emotions are displayed is modified by cultural factors known
as display rules (De Gelder & Huis in ‘t Veld, 2016). An individual’s culture dramatically
affects how we express positive emotions, such as happiness, and negative
emotions, such as anger.

To summarize, emotional responses are highly complex and dictated by genetic

predispositions from birth onward as well as personal experience.

4 Ways to Better Understand Your Emotions

Emotional thinking can lead to short-term decisions that ignore long-term happiness
and the achievement of life goals (Gray, 1999).
There are, however, many ways to help your clients gain insight into their emotions,
most of which begin by identifying and recognizing them, before going on to explore
how they make them feel, think, and behave:

Recognize emotional thinking

Emotions may be recognized by their impact on our cognition (Peters, 2016):

 Jumping to an opinion – reaching a conclusion without all the information

 Black-and-white thinking – at times, we can be inflexible and unforgiving; we
ignore the shades of gray
 Paranoid thinking – when we feel vulnerable, we often become paranoid
 Catastrophizing – overreaction fueled by intense emotion
 Irrational – ignoring reason and making decisions without due consideration
 Emotive judgment – judgments made too quickly, based on feelings rather than
facts

Self-compassion

We often judge ourselves and others harshly. And yet, much of what we go through –
the positive and negative emotions – is natural and experienced by everyone.

Mindfully practicing self-compassion can help your client explore and engage with

deeply held emotions, memories, and experiences while treating themselves with
kindness (Shapiro, 2020).

Suggest your clients perform the following steps (either within a session or at home):

 Bring to mind one challenge that you would like to focus on, perhaps at work or
at home.
 Write the situation down as objectively as you can.
 Mindfully (with curiosity and openness) observe any emotions or bodily
sensations that arise without engaging with them.
 Alongside each, write down supportive, compassionate statements you could say
to yourself or a friend, for example:

It’s okay to feel this way.

I am here for you.
We all make mistakes.
  Reflect that it is natural to feel upset, lonely, frustrated, and fearful at times.
 Consider others around the world who may be going through the same thing.
 Show compassion to yourself and others in this or similar situations.

Talk about your feelings

Explain to the client that discussing feelings and emotions is hugely beneficial, restores
a sense of control, provides perspective, and reduces the impact of stressors (Lepore,
Ragan, & Jones, 2000).

Talking through problems out loud with a friend, family member, therapist, or even
when alone not only helps us see things differently, it also gives us time and focus to
use logic and perspective, leading to:

 Reduced feelings of threat and anxiety

 Rationalized events
 Normalized emotions. We recognize that our feelings are normal and faced by
others.

Such conversations can be difficult and may be helped by focusing on another task or
activity simultaneously (for example, going for a walk, preparing a meal, etc.).

Reflection and reappraisal

While we each have many emotions throughout the day, often passing by without much
consideration, it can be useful to revisit them.

After all, if clients wish to implement changes in their lives, it is vital to understand their
emotions and whether their responses to events were logical or emotional. Ask them to:

 Review some of the situations faced during the day.

 Consider how they handled them:
o Was your behavior, or your response, based on emotional or logical
thinking?
o Could you have dealt with the situation better?
 Now try putting yourself in someone else’s shoes. How would they think you
reacted?

Time spent reflecting can help you recognize emotions, their effect, and future
improvements.
Student’s works:
 Understanding Emotions

Understanding emotional competence will help you know yourself and learn ways to
fine-tune your relationship skills. Using the definitions listed on the right side of the
page, place the letter of the correct definition on the space for each Emotional
Intelligence Competency term listed. There is only one correct choice for each term.

1. ___a____ Stress Tolerance a. I am a responsible, cooperative and

contributing
2. ___o____ Independence member of society. I am socially
conscious and
concerned about others.
3. ___e____ Empathy b. I am able to resist or delay an
impulse, drive or
4. ____d___ Self-Regard temptation when I choose.
c. I am able to achieve my potential and
get involved in
5. ____g___ Optimism things that lead to an interesting,
exciting and
6. ____b___ Impulse Control meaningful life.
d. I understand, accept and respect
myself.
7. ____h___ Problem Solving e. I am sensitive to what, how and why
people feel and
8. ____j___ Social Responsibility think the way they do. I care about
others and show
interest and concern for them.
9. ___k____ Assertiveness f. I am self-reliant and autonomous in
my thoughts and
10.____l___ Flexibility actions.
g. I am able to look at the brighter side
of life and
11.____m___ Interpersonal maintain a positive attitude even when
Relationship times are tough.
h. I am able to identify problems as well
12.____f__ Emotional Self- as generate and
Awareness implement solutions.
i. I know what I feel and why I feel the
way I do.
j. I am able to establish and maintain
13.___i___ Happiness
mutually satisfying
relationships. I am comfortable giving
14.___n____ Reality Testing
and receiving
15.____c___ Self-Actualization
affection.
k. I am able to withstand stressful
situations without
falling apart by actively and positively
coping with stress.
l. I feel good and at ease in school,
work and leisure
situations. I am able to relax and enjoy
my life.
m. I able to adjust my feelings,
thoughts and behaviors
to changing situations and conditions. I
am open to
different ideas and ways of doing
things.
n. I am able to tune into the immediate
situation and can
see things objectively; the way they are,
rather than how
I wish or fear them to be.
o. I am able to express my thoughts
and feelings and can
ask for what I need. I can defend my
rights in a
constructive manner.
 Responsibility Journal
What does personal responsibility mean to you?
Being flexible means we can change in order to become more
responsible.
Think about some responsible things that you did during the last
week.
Write down things you said or did that were responsible. Also, write
down things you said or did that you realize were not responsible. Based on your
honest answers now, examine your not responsible list. Complete the “what I have
learned” section.
Responsible:
ACTION CONSEQUENCE
Respect respect them so that they will respect you
too
Time management You will finish immediately the assigned
task
Love of work You will finish your work if you love to do
it.
Not Responsible:
ACTION CONSEQUENCE
Initiative No output
Irresponsible Poor performance
Having no purpose Day by day life without particular
ambitions or goals

What I have learned… is to be responsible in life to be responsible in life to help

yourself and learn to make life goals and achieve them.

Thought Questions:
 1. Which do I have more of, actions which are responsible or actions which are not
responsible?
Actions that are responsible, because it gives me strength and confidence and it
contributes to the character Of a person who carries goodness
2. What surprised me?
I was surprised at the unexpected activities
3. How do I feel about my not responsible actions?
I feel like irresponsible in action because I feel guilt and sad.
4. What steps will I take to improve?
Because in this way, I can surpass all the trials and challenges that I will encounter
today and to the future