Emma Burk

EN 101

Narration Essay

1 October 2020

The One Who Never Left

A single-parent family may not be portrayed as the ideal family, but is it really all that

bad? In “In Defense of Single Motherhood,” Katie Roiphe, an American author, argues that in

spite of society viewing single motherhood negatively, single parenting can positively impact

children. Growing up I have seen many of my friends being raised by only one parent, but they

did not turn out any differently than my two-parent household friends. Although single

motherhood is viewed negatively, it can actually have positive implications: kids who are raised

by single parents can still be happy and successful, do not have to deal with as much adult

conflict, and have other people who act as role models.

While it may be true that the typical household includes two parents, a child can still be

happy and successful even if she lives with only one parent. My parents were divorced when my

brother and I were young, so we were raised by our mother most of the time. Though this was

hard for my mother, I believe that this not only shaped us as people but shaped her as well.

While living with our mother, she showed us how to be independent and hard working. For

example, one cold winter morning as we were trying to get out of our driveway, my mother's

wheels started spinning. Rather than her getting frustrated that we were going to be late to

school, she kept her composure and walked down to the house to get a shovel. She shoveled

snow all the way up the driveway in the freezing weather by herself while my brother and I got
out and made snow angels. At the time, all my brother and I saw was that we were going to miss

some of school; however, we now realize that even though it was hard at times, having a single

mother showed us that we can do anything we put our minds to as long as we have positive

attitudes.

In addition to kids being happy and successful in single-parent households, some kids are

happier living with only one parent because they do not have to watch conflict between two

adults they love. Before two-parent families split, some children view conflict everyday, which

could have a negative impact on them. I do not remember my parents fighting, but I do

remember my aunt and uncle fighting all the time. My cousins had to endure this on a daily basis

throughout their childhood. My uncle was not only physically abusive, but he was verbally

abusive as well. As a kid, I remember putting ornaments on the Christmas tree with my family

and hearing my dad's phone go off. All I can remember after that was seeing him hang up the

phone, throw his shoes on, and rush out the door. Soon enough I found out my cousin had called

crying hysterically because her dad would not calm down. When my cousin tried to break up the

fight between her mother and father, he grabbed her wrists and pushed her into the dining room

table. When my dad got back with my aunt and my cousin, I was distraught that my family went

through this. To this day my cousin faces what happened every day. Even though the amount of

parents we had was different, her situation still stood out as worse than mine because she had to

be in the middle of adult conflict everyday.

Even though children in single-parent homes grow up without father or mother figures on

a daily basis, there are always people along the way who are willing to act as those role models.

To be a role model, a person has to play an important role in someone's life. I have two people
who have been role models to me. My great-great-aunt Ellen was the most selfless person I have

ever met. She would always put herself last in the equation. As a kid, I went to her house

frequently because of my parents’ divorce. Each time she would ask what I wanted to eat, and

those foods would magically appear on the table an hour later.. She wanted to make sure I was

happy. She was the most kind-hearted person all the way up until she passed. She was definitely

a role model to me and will be for the rest of my life.

My grandma Stallo, however, has impacted me in a completely different way. Grammy,

as we call her, does not put up with anyone's nonsense. She will make her voice heard without

having to speak up. When my parents got divorced, my mother took almost everything from my

father. He lived in his parents’ house and had to start over with his life. Although my grammy

was my mom’s mother, she saw the struggle her ex-son-in-law was going through and helped

him by paying for some clothes and other necessities for us. Whenever my mom found out about

this, she was furious. However, did that stop Grammy from helping my dad? No, it did not.

Grammy showed me that no matter what the circumstances may be, I need to stand up for what I

believe is right even if my belief may not be the same as others.

It may be true that any child can endure hardships during her life, but those struggles

should not be measured on the basis of two-parent versus one-parent households. Single mothers

can raise happy, successful kids who do not have to deal with much adult conflict and who have

multiple role models. Roiphe points out that “Suffering is everywhere, and married parents, even

happily married parents, raise screwed-up or alcoholic or lost children, just as single parents raise

strong, healthy ones” (60). Society may view single motherhood negatively, but there are
countless reasons why it can be positive; no matter the number of parents a child has, she can

turn out well if she has been the product of good parenting.

Work Cited

Roiphe, Katie. "In Defense of Single Motherhood." ​Acting Out Culture: Readings for Critical

Inquiry,​ by James S. Miller, 3rd ed., Bedford/St. Martin's, 2015, pp. 58-60.