All CNBC | News | Video

Symbol
Symbol / Company Lookup
Enter Keyword

Welcome, Guest

HOME NEWS MARKETS EARNINGS INVESTING VIDEO CNBC TV CNBC 360 Register Sign In
U.S. ASIA-PACIFIC EUROPE ECONOMY ENERGY GREEN TECHNOLOGY BLOGS WIRES SLIDESHOWS SPECIAL REPORTS
CORRECTIONS

Topless Business Is Taking Off

Published: Wednesday, 25 Nov 2009 | 10:25 AM ET Text Size

By: Jane Wells

CNBC Correspondent

"The operation of jet aircraft and strippers are not unalike. If you don't know
what you are doing you can get out of control in a heartbeat and auger in with
your tail shot clean off."

So writes Alan Markovitz in "Topless Prophet: The

Source: PlannedTVArts
Alan Markovitz's "Topless
Prophet: The True Story of
America's Most Successful
Gentleman's Club Entrepreneur"
Philadelphia. Philly.com reports that he and his partners spent $5 million
True Story of America's Most Successful
Gentleman's Club Entrepreneur." It may be the
most unusual guide to business you'll ever read.
Markovitz owns, or has owned, clubs from Michigan to
Florida, a business he says he got into as a college RECENT POSTS » More
student.
Cheap Gas, Cheap Gifts
Revenge of the Gangsta Nerds
His goal—make strip clubs classy.
It's Beginning To Look A Lot More Riskless
As proof he's succeeded, the photo gallery on his Topless Business Is Taking Off
Gambling Drunk, Texting to Live And America's On Sale - Your
Web site shows the mustachioed entrepreneur posing Emails
with everyone from James Caan to Wayne Gretzky to The Lloyd's Prayer, Leggo My Eggo, Plate Hate & Your Emails
Tim Allen. Help Wanted—Please Run $4 Billion University
Madoff—The Holiday Drink
Markovitz recently opened a new Penthouse Club in Drugs, Booze and Vegas
Happy World Toilet Day

adding adornments like "a big martini glass that comes out on stage - it's very
theatrical, like a rock show."
SQUAWK BOX VIDEO » More
Clawing one's way to the top of the topless biz isn't for the faint of heart. Inside AMZN's Cyber Monday 4 hrs ago
A look at how online retailer Amazon is
"Topless Prophet" details the ups (sex) and downs (being shot at) of trying to
expected to do this Monday, with CNBC's
revolutionize the strip club business. "The plain truth of the matter is that owning Jane Wells.
a topless club gives you power, as well as prestige," Markovitz writes. "I was like
the rock star and everybody who worked at the club had backstage passes." Shopper & Investor Deals 25 Nov 2009
Markovitz says the often-missed ingredient for runaway success is obvious. "That A look at what's likely to happen at the
registers once the doors open on Friday, with
ingredient is quality. The more beautiful ladies you have, the more customers you
Richard Hastings, Global Hunters Securities;
will get. But without sumptuous and stunning surroundings, the ladies won't Richard Jaffe, Stifel Nicolaus & Co. and
come, and neither will the big spenders." CNBC's Jane Wells.

Black Friday: Bargain or Bust?

One of the most interesting things Markovitz did—from a business 25 Nov 2009
perspective—was the compensation model he developed. Instead of paying Whether the deals are better than what
shoppers will usually see or if it is just another
dancers, they pay him a flat fee nightly and keep the rest. "The entertainers
marketing tactic, with Hitha Prabhakar, Style
should become independent contractors who would happily pay the club for the File Group; Brad Wilson,
opportunity to generate income far in excess of what they had earned as mere BlackFriday2009.com and CNBC's Jane
Wells.
hourly workers." He also gives advice you'll never learn in business school. "You
pretty much have to learn the business hands on, so to speak, or from the Holiday Central 25 Nov 2009
bottom up...If you don't know what you're doing, you will get ripped off by A discussion of the many ways retailers are
preparing for Black Friday, live from K-Mart in
thieving parasites of all varieties and, for those of you who believe that topless Burbank, CA, with CNBC's Jane Wells.
entertainment is the abject exploitation of women, all I have to say is this: you
try managing 50 or 100 competitive and strong-willed ladies who are more often
than not drinking copious amounts of alcohol on the job." Retailers Getting Ready for Black Friday
25 Nov 2009
Retailers are getting ready for Black Friday,
Well!
and CNBC's Jane Wells has the play by play.
Stacy Janiak, of Deloitte, shares her insight.
We also learn things about running a strip club which you wouldn't usually
consider. For example, Markovitz rejected lucrative table dancing. "All I could Amazon vs. Wal-Mart 24 Nov 2009
What began as a price war between Wal-Mart
envision was dancers falling off the tables, breaking their legs and not being able
and Amazon over a handful of books has nos
to work for eight weeks." spread to a wide assortment of consumer
goods. Lee Eisenberg, a noted retail expert
More importantly...does the owner of a strip club sample the goods? What do you and consumer behaviorist, and CNBC's Jane
Wells discuss.
think? "Let me put it this way: if you work around throngs of sweet, sexy,
half-naked women all day and all night long, sooner or later you get to know
some of them rather well," Markovitz writes. "I firmly believe that owners who
lose control in this business do so for either one of two reasons, often both - they
MOST SHARED
turn their brains to mush by drinking like fish or they get caught up starring in
Dubai Stocks Shed 7%, Abu Dhabi Tumbles 8%
their very own sexual soap opera. Neither is good business and I have always
Tiger Woods Wants to Protect Family Privacy: Agent
strived to keep business separate from pleasure."
Governments Must Take Steps To Avoid More Dubais: El-Erian
Dubai's Nakheel Seeks Suspension $5.25 Billion in Bonds
If you do buy the book, be RELATED LINKS
South Korea Sees Exports Bouncing, but Risks Remain
prepared. A lot of "Topless US Shoppers Spent Less Over Black Friday: NRF
Victoria's Secret Fashion Show
Prophet" appears to read like US Senator Opposes Fed Chief Bernanke Renomination
Highlights From Frederick's 2009 Fall
this: "In exchange for every drop Collection Sands China Ends 10.2% Lower in Hong Kong Debut
The Best-Selling Adult DVDs of All Time Tamminen: Copenhagen And Beyond
of erotic soul that these ladies
can and do wring from
themselves while teetering on seven-inch platforms, in return for radiating those LATEST FROM OUR BLOGS » More
intoxicating rays of femininity, promise and allure, their patrons will leave the Bob Doll: “We Continue to See Gains”
club feeling that they were and are men among men, masters of the universe, My Commodities Outlook after Dubai: Dennis Gartman
who have tasted these exotic fruits and been transported to other worlds for the Saab Lovers Sound Off
Tiger Ads Continue To Run Today
relatively inexpensive price of admission..."
Cheap Gas, Cheap Gifts
Wow. Diving Partridge Demand Can't Keep Lid on '12 Days' Cost
Tamminen: Copenhagen And Beyond
Business has not always been free from legal issues. The Las Vegas Journal Dubai is Harsh Reminder of Prolonged Global Recovery
Tiger Woods Wants to Protect Family Privacy: Agent
Review reported two years ago that Markovitz's father was attempting to get a
Portfolio Prep for Next Week: 'Don't Get Crazy'
liquor license in Las Vegas, and it mentioned that the son had been fined $42,000
in Detroit.
MORE HEADLINES » Markets | Economy | Companies
Now, most of you probably are not in the strip club business, and probably never
Governments Must Take Steps To Avoid
will be, despite your fantasies. But Alan Markovitz believes he has advice for More Dubais: El-Erian
anyone in a competitive industry. Heck, running a gentlemen's club is probably
much less cutthroat than fighting over bonuses at Goldman Sachs.

Regulators Compile Global List of 'Systemic Risk' Banks

So here are a few of Alan Markovitz's Rules of Business:
Dubai Stocks Shed 7%, Abu Dhabi Tumbles 8%
The World's Biggest Debtor Nations
1. "Choose your business partners wisely. Everyone is looking to take more
UAE, Abu Dhabi Ratings Unlikely to Be Cut: Moody's
than their fair share. One of my partners was my dad, who provided good White House to Expand Program to Stem Foreclosures
business sense from his ownership of a TV repair shop, extra capital, and a US Midwest Business Expands Stronger Than Expected
trust that couldn't be breached. Another partner of mine was arrested by BofA Aims to Clearly Spell Out Credit Card Terms
Advertisers Sticking With Tiger After Accident
the FBI for hiring two hit men for $12,000 to kill me."
What Black Friday Shoppers Spent on – And Where
2. "Never stand still, especially when you're leading the competition.
Whatever strategic advantage you have is short lived and can be copied.
Keep looking to reinvent, expand, upgrade or overhaul." RSS FEED » Help
3. "If you sleep with the help, you might need help."
Subscribe to this RSS feed
4. "You can manage through any crisis. I did. I survived two different
Stay up to date with Funny Business.
life-threatening shootings. I survived my club being raided and smeared. I
survived some bad business deals. I worked with a partner for a period of
time while he was on trial for arranging my murder. I dealt with corrupt
politicians, dirty cops, and out-of-control patrons. The key is to stay
focused on the prize and know that much of your success is related to how
Trader Makes $4 Billion
you manage problems." Wiz Kid Stock & Option Trader Makes $4 Billion
Trading Stock Options!
5. "Believe it or not, the way to make money is not always through your core www.VirtualinvestingClub.com
talent. Sure, the 300+ dancers that work at one of my clubs bring in Microsoft® Communications
Achieve Cost & Resource Savings w/ Unified
Communications. Learn More.
 money, but we make our real money off of alcohol, cigars, food, and CNBC ON DIGG powered by digg
merchandise. Always look at the extra ways you can turn a buck."
6. "Experiment and take a chance. I tried a few new things that in the end Top Destinations 2009 [Slideshow]
15
didn't pay off, but unless you try new ideas, you won't get to succeed. I
tried the idea of arranging for strippers on a golf course. I also chartered 9
US Mint to Suspend American Eagle Gold
1-Ounce Coins
flights to Las Vegas that featured performing strippers."
7
Gold Will Collapse Like Oil Did in 2008:
Charts
Finally, for the legions who would damn Alan Markovitz and the dancers who work Judge Erases Couple's $525,000
6
with him for their line of work—I mean, who wants his or her daughter to grow up Mortgage Payment - Real Estat

to be a stripper?—Markovitz does have one interesting comeback: "Topless 5

Paul: Audit the Fed - CNBC.com

entertainment has probably funded more higher educations and furthered more
careers than grants and scholarships ever have."

Questions? Comments? Funny Stories? Email funnybusiness@cnbc.com

© 2009 CNBC, Inc. All Rights Reserved

TOPICS: Media | Print Media

SECTORS: Media

Print Email Text Size

POPULAR FUNNY BUSINESS POSTS

I Have to Leggo My Smile Though Your Tommy Lee Wants

Eggo Head Is Breaking... You to Be a Rock
Star

COMMENTS 4 Comments Total

j2friday | Nov 25, 2009 01:59 PM ET

Well, at least the stripping biz is a transparent model, nothing to hide, right? And there’s
no failure to communicate here: when strippers have something to say, they do get their
points across. But when times get tough, do the clubs have problems with shedding
workers? Analogies to NASCAR apply here too: everyone is always fighting for the pole.

Report Abuse

Indrid_Cold | Nov 25, 2009 02:31 PM ET

SLOB SOB

Report Abuse

Andrewrog | Nov 25, 2009 06:10 PM ET