Hannah probably wrote this:

*i love babe
and never will i be able to let u go*
Lol, love you too

"I am not a perfect person, even if you might say so.

And I don't try to be.
I am just another imprisoned soul,
That is longing to be set free.
I'm sick of always hiding inside of myself,
This has gone on for too many years.
Although I'm finally showing these "emotions",
Telling you how I really feel,
I just want to know the difference,
Between what is fake and what is real.
I'm just another lost soul,
That even though has been found.
Might be just another liability,
That I don't really know if you want around.
I'm just falling through the air,
And I'm about to hit the ground.
But I don't expect anyone to catch me,
Because I don't know if people really want me around.
No one really cares about me,
I'm just there with them from day to day
No one really cares enough,
To even legitimately ask me if I'm okay
and at times I dont want them to anyway."
Is this really how you see yourself?
Slowly but surely I have certainly noticed myself...
The past sure brings one down sometimes,
Memories of cold and bitter but unforgettable times...
I try to help and find out what's wrong,
I might be starting to figure it out all along.
I might be not told some things, and its alright
I have my life to figure it out, with my pathetic and slow sight....
But my conscience keeps telling me,
It's telling me that your not really running out of time
That you might not see it, see what you can be,
But its waiting for you, with the patience of a lifetime.
It's quality though is a different story,
Many people take that for granted, leave it for later
Reality though, doens't work that way.
Trying to change it to your own convenience? I ask,
Dosnt work that way, I say.
But aside from that I want you to know if you ever get to read this,
If you feel that your not perfect , your perfect in your own special way,
Everyone is, but screw everyone, your perfect in my eyes,
Despite of what you do to yourself, what you go through or what you
let yourself go through, I'm still there, loving you like I've never loved someo
ne before.

I can't read your mind though, and at times, I wonder if you really do love me.
I know the past,
still holds you down and clashes you and slows you down for a bit in life. I kno
w this very well,
My same past though, even if you might not believe it... is like a paper that ha
s been crumpled, ripped, shredded
and finally burned, by you by just being you... And that's a good thing by the w
ay... The only thing that my past
still has left a mark on, is for it to happen again. I thought I would never lov
e again. It was so strong but... I guess I was
wrong...
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STILL WORKING.... UPDATE.05.12.2010
I've started to notice more consciously does me acing like someone else make yo
u happy?
It's probably in your comfort zone... Acting like that guy, makes you happy... t
he only time I see you comfortable... Why do i have to act like a Dakota to make
you happy? if he did you so wrong? Don't fall in love. This is the consequence,
you grow dependant on it. Dakota is just a "man" like me, with pros and cons. Y
ou tend to insult him and compliment him very deeply at the same time, It came t
o the point of you probably grabbing and maybe even kissing him or something (I
kinda got it) if he just spent 5 minutes with you at anytime. You can't control
yourselfself over him? I'm not saying love me, I cannot force you to love me, it
s useless. But if acting like someone else to make you happy, to make you rememb
er him even more is what keeps it, us, going... I don't want to fall in love wit
h someone who has their mindset solidly set on some one else, its completely unf
air, it will end a mess. You also act very different when other people are aroun
d... like your trying to give signs that we might break up anytime soon, the act
that is put up... the irony of this relationship is breaking me, if you feel li
ke you don't love me or that you can't continue, then leave me. It's your choice
. I must also change, act like how I used to act, how I got you to like me. A gu
y who doesn't give a shit about anything, and makes you feel like I'm interested
but not at the same time, a guy in charge right? is that what you want? to be j
elaous and thirsty? lol...
I can't play Dakota in this love play. I don't have to, But because of my love f
or you, I might accustom myself to your comfort zone, in a different way. Hannah
there is no "the one". Girls fall for the bad boys huh... ok. Girls need to be
treated with irony and shitness to make them feel whipped and under control and
under the "bad boy" charm lol. They have no respect for themselves. You don't ne
ed a man to be anything you want to be. Don't think this way. It will make a you
a dependant, "stay at home and cook" type of person. Switching between Martin m
ode and Dakota mode.. Lmfao, its ridiculous! The point of a relationship is to l
ike me for who I am. I've started to feel a bit like everytime I'm touching you,
I'm someone else, or that I'm not really touching you in a sense, its the perso
n I portray that is. But maybe I'm wrong, I don't know what to think, I've stopp
ed following you around. Still need to work on reacting to your "I don't wanna t
alk, or be touched right now" kind of state. Mr. Dakota why have you set me this
time bomb? Why do I have to diffuse it? I would like to meet you bro. See what'
s up.
Do you really, really love me hannah? Really, think about it, be honest with you
rself, you don't have to tell me directly, (I know you probably won't) do you re
ally have feelings for me or just the fact that I am making up what Dakota left
for you? Is it me your falling in love with, or the person I sometimes portray?
It's not my fault, I'm just not what he was, it doesnt make me better or worse.
True love always stays, like a mother to a child, and it grows, Kelsey is comple
tely wiped of my heart Hannah... And i loved her with such a passion. This is no
t my first prioroity though, thats step number one....
Let's see how this works... Don't and ignore sad care act. Act one control and i
f go you then want ahead leave act i dont attitude care.
Bad boys attract,
Nice boys repel,
Why the irony? Because bad boys don't make up their minds, and girls who date th
em neither do. its an ongoing cycle.
I can't put on my dakota costume for the rest of my life. lol... People still do
n't know me. still don't know what I don't let them see. The stupid and horrible
shit i did in the past. I shouldnt have changed, for the sake of you but it's t
oo late. Changin from one girl to another, making them feel like shit and the mo
st wonderful girl in the world at the same time? That was me, look at kaylee, ev
erytime she pass trhought hall at the same time as I do she pauses. That's the e
ffect of it. Look at gabriella, the way I treated those girls, why should I trea
t you like that too? My "Mr nice" is anoying the shit out of you, you want a man
with power and control, a man who treats you like an object then pretend he has
feelings at the same time. ok hannah, if you want t play like that, so be it ba
be. Fuck my fears, its not only you that this is affecting. SLowly get to see th
e fucking asshole side of me. That "charm".
I love you, but its not enough for me.
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STILL WORKING..... UPDATE.07.12.2010.
So ,I failed for today, she is somehow overpowering me. I need to be a man who
can control his emotions, fuck why do i get so emotional over the stupidest stuf
f. Everytime this happens i should just say fuck it lol. So what if she didn't h
ug me? fuck it. So what if she didnt look at me? Fuck it too. So what if she wan
t to be touched while we lay down, so what lol, and so what if i dn;t get laid t
his weekend, i'll probably get laid eventually again, and it doent have to be he
r if shit happens. And keep in mind that if she goes, she ges, it just meant she
didnt really love me, and i will just have to move on i guess... But till then
Fuck everything else, I also gotta work on speech and talking to people and be m
ore more confident, cuz its fucking pissing me off. I should have never changed
lol. At the party I'm going to have the I DON'T GIVE A FUCK attitude. So what if
she has this angry look on her face...what you're trying to trick me? fuck you.
Im just going to laugh at the wonderful dramatic show that she puts up every on
ce in a while, its such an amazing act "awwwww" it brings tears to my eyes, lol
i should probably just laugh inside and try to hold it in so i don't laugh strai
ght to her face. I love her and all but i need to whip her like she wants it. C
uz she wants to be treated like a fucking bitch, its hard... but I just gotta do
it, its just gotta be done. Not rude or anything just act with interest and not
at the same time, clashing between moods, mystery, martin mystery, that's it lm
fao. Anyway stupid me with my pathetic reactions, just let it go. alright, fuck
it, fuck it, stick in brain, stick in brain. So what if anything I am a pianist
and shes just another girl in my life, my life is just beggining still and i sti
ll have a long way to go, if she decides to leave, then ill let her leave, fuck
it i cannot force someone to be with me and plus it'll be a less heavy load to c
arry, phew. But if its good then meh i guess i could live with it. RULE OF THUMB
ACT LIKE YOU DONT NEED HER, ALWAYS BE BUSY AND PUT YOUR LIFE FIRST AND TALK TAL
K TALK DONT JUST BE THE ONE GUY IN THE CORNER LISTENING. FUCK. also lol... be ca
lm be cool DO NOT YELL like a woman! reserved man. who dosnt care aobut anything
. For example when you get to the party don'tgo and make a huge dramatic masterp
iece and then say "Hey why did you hang up on me wtf?" just let it go, LET IT
GO IT DOENS'T MATTER, DOESN'T MEAN IT'S OVER it just happened OK? FUCK IT! stic
k in brain stick in brain DON'T GET EMOTIONAL UR A MAN, NO EMOTION OK? DO YOU GE
T IT YOU, GET THAT CRAP IN YOUR HEAD C'MON MAN HYPE UP UR AN AMAZING PERSON DON'
T LET A GIRL BRING YOU DOWN BRO, FUCK, GO TO THE PARTY AND PUT IN PRACTISE WHAT
YOU have just stuck in your brain and DO NOT LET YOURSELF DOWN. If you do, it ju
st means you have failed again, and then your fucked, so DON'T MESS UP. SLAP THA
T ASS BITCH. So what if she doesn't want to hang out with you for now make her m
iss you and she will. Don't fantazise and live your fucking life man. Seriously.
.. Don't get too touchy, avoid her and let her come to you. If she makes the act
,
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Huh, I almost broke up completely with hannah today... man what an idiot i am...
I almost lost my girl... Hannah. I might lose her still she thinking about it.
PLeasr hannah one more chance is all i'm asking for. Man look how much i'm feeli
ng for this girl. It's funny remembering the times when she used to lookat me fu
nny with the sexy stare of hers, lol... good old times... When she looked for me
, where she came to me and use to listen to my piano playing at long and mzq\de,
ahh those lovely times of us.. lol why did this happen? Why all this, I dont wa
nt this, I should have not said what I said. I never thought i would fall this d
eeply for this girl. Still remember her smile, the way i made her smile lol. Its
too much for me, I can;t handle it, just her not being there would be like her
dying in a way. No more hannah, just the thought of it, Im out of words I cant s
ay anything to you... All I'm waiting for is that call or that yes or no... It w
ould break my heart into shreds... Kelsey... not again.... I can't lose you now
hannah, I'm still hurt still damaged by kelsey, don't leave me. I was wrong abou
t not loving again... deelply wrong. She's not just a girl, she's my hannah, rem
mebr temptation, how made the first move, I still arghh that You beat me with t
he "first move" thing lol. I got into so much trouble that day, remember, but yu
didnt care, you were there, everybody telling me crap about us, I didnt care, I
knew you were something else. Too many memories, Damn. I cant even fucking brea
the.

wow, i really did nothing wrong....i have to put her in her place. I also made m
istakes though.