half-star (R)

,CRANK'
lf he only had a heart? Heck,
if this sequel only had a brain
BY FRANK LOVECE
Special to Newsday

sequel to the 2006 actioner "Crank"

A cheerfully preposterous movie in which - aa
I I lrit man, injected with a high-tech drug
that will stop his heart, needed to keep his adren adren-
aline pumping if he was going to livelong
errough to kill his poisoner
the outrage-for-outrageousness' - thissake.
retread amps
But for all
its ADD editing, it's a joyless slog.
The presumed-dead Chev Chelios (fason
Statham) has survived
the last film's fall from
PLOT Jason Statham a helicopter, only to
returns in a sequel have Chinese gang-
that finds presumed- sters harvest his heart
dead hit man Chev for their aged leader
Chelios alive with an (David Carradine,
artificial heart and a unrecognizable under
battery he has to all the makeup). Sad-
keep recharging on dled with an artificial
the run. heart that needs contin-
ual rechargingwith
CAST Jason jumper cables, a Taser,
Statham, Amy Smart, what have you, he has
Dwight Yoakam, to track down his
Efren Ramirez, Bai missing organ so that
Ling, David Carra- Doc Miles (a returning
dine, Clifton Collins, DwightYoakam) can
Corey Haim reimplant it. His girl-
friend, Eve (Amy
LENGTH 1:25 Smart), and others are
also back.
PIAVING AT Area True to its title,
theaters "Crank High Voltage"
cranks everything up
BOTTOM.LINE The so much that whatev-
original was kind of er gave you a charge
origrnal. This sequel before now just deliv-
is just stupid. ers nasty shocks
-
emphasis on nasty.
Filled with more
skank than crank, it's a parade ofhookers, strip-
pers and real-life porn stars; a reprise of the first
film's graphic public-sex scene; and a man
forced to slice off his own nipples.
Theater-ofithe-absurd subversion? No. The
movie just self-consciously snickers, with ham-fist-
ed homages to the "Kiss Me Deadly'l'Pulp Fic-
tion" briefcase, the |apanese monster movie "War
of the Gargantuas" and vidgo games, with a maze
shootout in which Chelios kills anonymous ene-
mies and collects weapons. But none of it's any fun
And just in case you were wondering: John de
Lancie (Qon "Star Trek The Next Generation")
and former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell have un-
credited cameos.