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FUSED

www.fused.co.uk Uniting young Yorkshire

Exclusive interview with


£1 Toddla T
n c
Lau ue!
h election
iss sorted:
what will the coalition
do for us?

graffiti:
art or vandalism?

freeganism:
Fused goes bin-diving

Also Inside:
Music
Fashion
Ghosts and
Roller Blades
June 2010
S E D
F U Meet the Team
Welcome to
From clockwise:
our very first issue.
Let us know what
Imogen Child:
you think at
Expert Thrifter
www.fused.co.uk
Alice Carder:
Culture Vulture

Rob Cooke:
Music Snob

Clare McPartland:
Professional Lady

Ey Up! Kimberley Allison:


Welcome to the very first issue Ghostbuster
of FUSED, your new mag for
everything Yorkshire. Each Rachel Ingram:
month we will be bringing you Gossip-monger
the best in band interviews,
fashion, real life stories,
entertainment and issues that
affect you Yorkshire folk. We want
you to experience all our region has
to offer, and will try out new activities
across Yorkshire to encourage you to
get out and love where you live.
Happy reading
The Team

4 fused
E D
F US Contents
Fused On the cover
6 Graffiti - Art or vandalism

16 Toddla T - Man of the times

36 Freeganism - Thrift of theft?

58 Politics - What Britian’s new


government means for Yorkshire’s
youth

Fused Features/Real Life


11 Gatecrasher - To be or not to be

30 Unquiet Desperation - Anything but


quiet p16
43 Roller Derby - Yorkshire’s fastest all
girl contact sport

34 Haunted Yorkshire - An investigation


into our haunted county

55 Real Life - Casper, man of the month

60 Not Drinking - Stone cold sober at


Yorkshire’s universities
p54
64 House Mates - What to do when things
go horribly wrong

70 You Can Take The Girl Out Of Fused Fashion


Yorkshire - The high’s and lows of a year
abroad
47 Street Style - Young
72 Richmond Station - Revamped fashionistas on the streets of
Yorkshire

50 Car Boots Sales - Your trash


is my treasure
Fused Music
52 Clothes swapping
12 The Ruby Kid p43
15 Yonder Boy

22 To Kill A King Fused Regulars

24 Live at Leeds 40 Fused Food - easy, cheap and tasty

69 Fused Careers - puppet-making


28 Our festivals guide Fused Tries
74 Fused Launch Night
31 The W.I. - Clare Tries

32 Life drawing - Clare 76 Fused Sex Lives


Tries
81 Fused Horoscopes
66 The Otley Run - A day
to seperate the men from
the boys
fused 5
Graffiti: A

H
e’s dressed head to toe in black. Hooded, and governing bodies across the country. Despite decades
hidden, he must not be seen. He’s panting of controversy, down nearly every alley and snicket,
slightly, perspiring. He crouches, grips the under countless bridges and among derelict estates lays
shiny metallic object in his palm and takes the language of thousands of aspiring writers and gang
one last look around. Certain he is alone, he takes members, just like Zinc.
aim, presses his index finger firmly down and marvels Although the majority of graffiti artists would not want
as bright, glorious colour shoots from the end of the to be compared to gang members, the two groups do have
canister. – This is a typical evening for Leeds based several things in common: both seek recognition from their
graffiti artist, ‘Zinc’. peers, use aliases, take part in illegal activities, are young
Zinc grew up in London, a city laden with and most often poor. But is there more to a
striking images and six foot prose strewn graffiti artist? Is graffiti a creative art form
across brickwork. He quickly became “We can transform that should be admired and appreciated?
inspired to create his own messages a dark, forgotten Are there hidden messages in this form of
and symbols - now a full time student in expression that should be acknowledged
Leeds, he makes regular trips to shadowy
alleyways to try his hand.
filth pit into an oasis and accepted? Or is it simply a self
obsessed ‘fame game’ played by youths
“I remember looking at all the graffiti of beautiful art” with a misguided sense of creativity and
out the window on the tubes and thinking nothing better to do with their time?
how cool and colourful it all looked. I was Britain’s most celebrated graffiti artist,
amazed by how and why it got there. I thought it was kind Banksy, has blurred the boundaries between graffiti and art
of a visual manifestation of man’s desire to leave his mark with his distinctive, satirical and thought-provoking stencils
on the world,” he says. and drawings: monkeys with weapons of mass destruction,
The concept of graffiti draws in youngsters by exhibiting little girls cuddling up to missiles, police officers walking
raw creativity, cunning and rebellion. What is unique about fluffy poodles, the list is endless. In an interview with the
graffiti is that unlike traditional pastimes such as football, Daily Mail in June 2008, Banksy said ‘Graffiti doesn’t always
there is no local club to join, your parents won’t come to spoil buildings. In fact, it’s the only way to improve a lot of
watch you and you certainly can’t play during school breaks. them. We can transform a dark, forgotten filth pit into an
So to excel as a ‘writer’, you largely have to go it alone. oasis of beautiful art’. Despite the commercial recognition
However, while bold and often aesthetically impressive, Banksy has achieved, many still see his work as blatant
the true meaning of this art form is not only lost on most, vandalism.
but responsible for frustration and uproar among councils ‘It is art, of course it’s art’ says Zinc. ‘Banksy’s stuff sells
Graffiti

Art or Vandalism?
fused tackles a very public debate

for thousands, no-one spends a hundred grand on a piece of element of competition, or wanting to have your work
vandalism’. ‘I don’t see myself as a vandal, I’m not breaking recognised and regarded’ claims Zinc. The ‘fame game’ brings
windows or throwing eggs at City Hall’. Jane Dooley popularity, a sense of self-esteem, friends and recognition
from Leeds city council begs to differ; ‘We spend literally from people you don’t even know. Graffiti writers, are driven
thousands of pounds cleaning up graffiti every year, whether by the desire to be known and be respected. However,
it looks nice or not. It isn’t their property industry pioneer Banksy argues, “The
to use as they please and there needs to be time of getting fame for your name on
a precedent set’. “I don’t see myself its own is over. Artwork that is only
The word “graffiti” is derived from the as a vandal, I’m not about wanting to be famous will never
Latin term “graphium” which means “to make you famous. Any fame is a by-
write”. Graffiti evolved during ancient breaking windows product of making something that means
times but first impacted on modern society something.” Although there are many
in the late 1960’s, when political activists or throwing eggs at Banksy critics who say that today his
used it as a medium of revolt against art is valuable precisely because of his
governing powers. Individual artists soon City Hall” name, there is little doubt that he rose
began to gain recognition. to fame based on the raw craft and talent
TAKI 183 was the first known artist to write tags, his stencils exhibited, not merely his identity. Since no-one
starting in central New York subways. His “tag” was really knows what Banksy even looks like, the notoriety
short for Demetaki, a Greek alternative for his birth-name that his art enjoys today is based solely on the message, the
Demetrius, and the number 183 came from his address on method, and the myth of the man.
183rd Street in Washington Heights. He worked as a foot “There’s no doubt about it, guys like Banksy make people
messenger in New York City and would write his nickname respect and appreciate graffiti more than they used to. Yes
around the streets that he frequented during the late 1960s. he’s sending a message, but I think there’ll be people that
After the New York Times ran an article on him titled, ignore the message and just take in the visual quality of his
‘Taki 183 Spawns Pen Pals’, more and more artists began work”. Zinc completed his first illegal piece when he was 13.
to flourish throughout the city, establishing personal tags “It was nuts, what I actually drew was pretty rubbish, but
visible to everyone. Every individual artist’s goal was to the thrill of creating something that I knew loads of people
create the most prolific and visible tag and soon subways would see, that might even be there forever was great”.
were littered with symbols and stencils. So what is it that makes ‘Zinc’ and others sneak out under
‘I suppose a lot of us get involved because there is that the dead of night to paint on walls? Why not stay at

fused 7
home, paint on arts scene both underground and legitimately and yeah try
a canvas, share and earn a living I guess. If I could emulate Banksy that’d
their work and be awesome, but there are plenty of more traditional routes
identities openly? as well”, said Zinc.
Why risk being So is graffiti art or vandalism? Can it be both? Can one
caught? What’s to man’s ‘Mona Lisa’ be another man’s toilet paper? Could
be gained? vandalism truly inspire? Could it attract publishers? Could
“I guess I do it it ever be mass-produced? Could it be sold all over the world?
because it gives me Dan Martinelli, who graduated with a first in
excitement. I always contemporary art over 15 years ago and now owns his own
paint at night unless I’ve studio and production space, sits on the fence. “The thing is,
got an undercover plot. I usually you can be on a train journey and pass bridges covered in
wear dark clothes and if painting on train-lines go when really thoughtless crap. But then get to your stop, and come
the electrics are turned off! Painting the train-lines is across a truly brilliant piece walking home. Sometimes if
the best buzz. It gives you a feeling I doubt I will ever you want the rainbow, you’ve got to put up with the rain.
reproduce. I’ve never been caught thank God. It doesn’t There are definitely people out there that deliberately
surprise me that politicians will refer to it as vandalism, vandalise public property and really fuck up the world we
they always will, but that’s the essence of it, to go against live in, but then there are others, way more fearless than
the system. Until writers stop most, who just use public property
getting that buzz, we’re gunna keep “We spend literally to expose their creativity. You know
doing it.” sometimes the stuff these guys come
Graffiti vandalism costs train thousands of pounds up with is mind-blowing, and we should
companies about £300,000 a year. appreciate that”.
In 2009, Leeds University student cleaning up graffiti every The very fact that people across
Alexander Trigle (Tag name ‘Das’) this planet have begun to buy into
left taxpayers with a £16,000 clean- year, whether it looks Banksy’s work, be it on public property
up bill after leaving his mark in or otherwise, goes someway to proving
numerous locations across West nice or not. It isn’t their graffiti’s artistic merit. Nevertheless,
Yorkshire. He was charged at Leeds property to use as they there are undoubtedly individuals out
Magistrates court with 200 hours of there that chose to spray paint on walls
unpaid work and a three year ASBO, please and there needs purely to grate against the system, and
banning him from owning spray cause problems for local authorities. If
cans or marker pens. In addition, to be a precedent set” this mindless act continues to be lobbed
Trigle had to pay his victims a total under the same term as Banksy’s
of £570. Altogether last year, Leeds city council spent masterpieces, then the debate will continue to rage on.
£640,000 removing graffiti. The council has now designated Maybe it’s wise to begin to distinguish between graffiti that
specific walls in the city for graffiti artists to paint legally, to exposes talent, flair and creativity, with that that has no
discourage them from vandalism on private property. meaning and no message other than petulance, resistance
“It’s good that there’s designated areas for us, but that and rebellion.
definitely takes away some of the buzz”. Zinc smiles,
“There’s far worse crimes going on and I think people Words: Kimberly Allison
have to appreciate the context. I guess it’s a positive step
that they’ve recognised there’s enough interest to warrant Debate this topic further on our forum at www.fused.co.uk
giving us our own wall, but it won’t
completely prevent the illegal stuff”
As people and authorities
begin to recognise the presence of
graffiti as almost as a part of the
modern world, the likes of Banksy
can continue to thrive. Having
painted his controversial stencil
art pieces all over the world and
attracted thousands of admirers
and imitators, he now produces
books and canvases that sell by
the million, further suggesting
that graffiti is becoming a force to
be reckoned with. So as the graffiti
industry continues to grow and
becomes more and more accepted,
is it realistic for an aspiring graffiti
artist such as Zinc to make a living
in the industry?
“I’m trying to get my degree in
Contemporary Art
Practice at the moment
so that has taken over my life and all my Images:
creative energy is going towards that. After Above - Banksy in an exclusive interview
that Id like my own studio space and Top right - Zinc’s Tag
become more actively involved in the Bottom right - Banksy masterpieces
10 fused
You've gotta fight for your
section

right to paaaaaarrrrty!

As Sheffield receives the news that Gatecrasher will


not be rising like a phoenix from the flames this September,
Alice Carder says Yorkshire’s young people have been failed

T
hree years ago Gatecrasher The 2000-capacity venue would answer (in case you were wondering).
went up in smoke. The city include a state of the art sound system, And what with the increasing volume
mourned the loss laying four dance floors and an indoor holding of snooty wine bars cropping up all over
flowers, flashing dummies area where clubbers could wait for taxis the city these days and the £15.3 million
and glow-sticks on the rubble. at the end of the night. In the words of recently spent on tarting up the Crucible
Sheffield nightlife would never be the club owner himself, Simon Raine, it was theatre, pretty much every age range
same again. to be a “sonically-fuelled playground”. has been catered for except the 18-30’s.
Within two months the Gatecrasher With the promise of regeneration, When the 2.4 families have taken
brand had grown new roots, opening increased tourism and a boost to the their taxis home after enjoying the
a club in Nottingham and another in economy it seemed they couldn’t fail. latest rendition of ‘A Midsummer
Birmingham the following year. There was only one thing standing in Night’s Dream’, and your mum and dad
Where once Sheffield would have the way; Sheffield City Council planning are falling out of the final wine bar of
topped DJ Mag’s ‘Top 100 clubs’, this committee. the evening; chuckling about stealing
year the coveted list of who’s who named As the planning meeting waited to the last of the free olives; our options for
Manchester twice and Leeds once, with begin there was a distinct lack of young entertainment are pretty damn limited.
no mention for Sheffield, lying forgotten people in the room. Thankfully after the disappointing
like a used ticket stub in the gutter. It’s odd that the decision on whether decision from the council, Gatecrasher
The pure relief many felt when to grant permission for a new club in the vowed to fight for our right to party,
Gatecrasher announced they were, at city centre should fall to seven middle launching an appeal with support from
long last, returning to their spiritual aged men in grey suits and one white DJ legends Judge Jules, Trevor Nelson
home was shared by clubbers as far haired woman. They are so far removed and Sheffield’s own Toddla T.
away as America and New Zealand. from club culture they may as well Simon Raine said: “Gatecrasher is still
Gatecrasher planned to develop an have given the final say about whether intent on returning to the city - it’s where
empty space below the ‘cheesegrater’ car the club goes ahead, to the inhabitants we belong. We are most disappointed for
park on the corner of Arundel Gate – a of Kauai’s Temple – the world’s most the 15,000 people who backed us but we
site which already has permission for a remote monastery - situated in the refuse to be beaten and will return to
casino with 6am licence and is just a few middle of the Pacific Ocean. the city. The party is not over.”
hundred yards from the original club. Finally they called Gatecrasher’s Hopefully this time the views of
11,000 people joined the Facebook owner Simon Raine and his architect to Sheffield’s youth, who probably voted in
group welcoming the plans and 3,800 the table. They were given one minute our ‘liberal’ led council in the first place,
people sent comments of support to each to talk and were not allowed to ask will be taken into account by those who
Sheffield Council. the decision makers any questions – are supposed to represent us.
The disenfranchised youth were democracy in action people. The old Gacrasher site
desperate: Less than 30 minutes and 8 votes later in ruins.
Katie Hutton, Sheffield said: “Our and the application that cost £70,000
friends used to travel up from London to and took several months to compile had
come and visit us for the weekend, but been refused.
now I would be totally embarrassed to The councillor’s attempt to justify their
take them out for the evening due to the decision was pitiful. They said the new
poor choice of venues available.” club would not be in keeping with the
Tammy Little, Philadelphia, USA “Heart of The City” regeneration master
said: “Build it and they will come.” plan which aims to transform Sheffield
Some even made threats: “We need by “building a vibrant city economy and
more clubs in Sheffield or I’m moving to making the city centre more inclusive”
Manchester,” said Simon Carty. with “a wider entertainment offer in the
Only 14 kill joy members of the public evenings.”
objected. So how was the football/titty bar
The £5 million club was to be designed ‘Scores’, allowed to open in Charter
by celebrated international designer Square just a stones throw from the
Callin Fortis, responsible for the some ‘cheese grater’ car park in March? Yet
of the world’s most famous clubs Crobar it was decided that Gatecrasher’s plans
New York, Crobar Chicago, and the would not be “in keeping” with the heart
Cameo Theatre in Miami. of the city. Is this fair? Is it?! No is the

fused 11
music

Rage Against the Ruby Kid


“G
od is a very dangerous idea. People believe in religion
for all kinds of reasons, it’s kinda like heroin abuse.
Religion is potentially as psychologically and
emotionally shackling as smack abuse is physically
damaging.”
Far from the rantings of a mad man, these are the beliefs
of Daniel Randall, aka The Ruby Kid, a refreshingly
intelligent revolutionary socialist and militant
atheist who is unafraid of expressing his often
extremist views.
“No one has the right not to be offended,”
he continues. “If a group of Christian
fundamentalists wanted to picket out one of
my shows because I was rapping about how
religion is bullshit and how people shouldn’t
believe in God then I’d definitely think I was
doing something right.”
The Ruby Kid, 23, grew up in a Jewish
family in Nottingham before moving to
Sheffield where he launched his career in hip
hop, nicknamed the city’s ‘political rapper’.
He believes in Marxist socialism and raps
of anti-capitalism, exploitation of labour
and dreams of a proletarian revolution
where the working class will seize
political power.
However he is not all talk and no
action. He is an active member of
Trotskyist organisation Worker’s
Alliance and when he is not gigging he
takes part in trade union campaigns
and demonstrations and aids work place
strikes.
However, unlike other political
musicians such as Rage Against the
Machine, The Ruby Kid is very conscious
of not preaching his views. He criticises such bands of being
politically wrongheaded and egotistical.
He does not think his music will change the world but hopes
it will be a catalyst for some people to get involved in socialist
struggles.
“The sort of changes I try to fight for are not changes that can
be brought about by someone singing a radical song or writing
radical hip hop. The front line of the struggle I’m interested in is in
work places, it’s in working class communities. It’s not on peoples’
fucking Ipods.”
But behind this strong front is a man who has a deep love of
poetry and owns Coldplay’s discography. Inspired by writers like
Byron and Shelly from the romantic era, his lyrics are abstractly
poetic. In his most recent songs he writes about personal
relationships and experiences, about feelings and “all that emo
shit - Hip hop is music to poetry, that’s all it is.”
Once on a time The Ruby Kid was on a “war against wack
hip hop”, but he now condemns the saviour complex he once
divulged in.
“Every rapper thinks that they’re on a one man crusade to
clean up the rap game which actually is very egotistical
and narcissistic. I would probably distance
myself for that a little bit now but I have
no qualms in saying that 90% of hip hop is
dreadful.”
If you want generic hip hop, give The
Ruby Kid’s politically minded indie rap a
miss. But if you are open to having your
mind broadened and your beliefs tested,
catch him before the Christians silence
him.

WORDS: RACHEL INGRAM Listen to The Ruby Kid at www.fused.co.uk

12 fused
section

14 fused
music

Yonderboy Yonderboy’s focus on defining


and refining their music has made
them tentative about over-exposing
themselves prematurely. Only now that
they have a clear vision for the band
are they talking about touring outside
Leeds and promoting a new single.
“We want to take our time and make
sure the songs are right and not rushed,”
explains Sammy.
Their achievements so far are not to be
sniffed at. Their first gig was supporting
the acclaimed Frightened Rabbit at the
iconic Brudenell Social Club, and since
then they have opened for the likes of
Titus Andronicus, The Twilight Sad and
Antlers.
“You get quite a lot of people coming
through Leeds so we have had quite
a lot of good supports,” says Zand.
Although opening slots can be a grey
area, Curragh points out. “That will go
both ways and you will play a gig where
people get you and you will play others
Fused spoke to the that are really badly matched,” he says.
band that everyone In the same way they worry about
being mismatched, Yonderboy worry
wants supporting them about being misrepresented, having met
at Leeds College of Music. “When you
think of bands who met at music college
like The Kooks,” says Sammy, “we don’t
want to be lumped in with that.”
“It didn’t contribute to any of our

I
success,” Bruce says.
“I think we’re quite keen to distance
t’s good to know that the The seeds of Yonderboy’s sound were ourselves from it, Curragh says.
old virtues still matter in sown in Zand’s solo demos. But these “My degree was the pinnacle of
music. Which is good news for days the direction of their music is just intellectualising music and I want to
Yonderboy, who since their as much dictated by guitarist Curragh move away from that to something more
formation 18 months ago have been Treanor, bassist Bruce Woods and raw.”
making the lives of promoters all drummer Sammy Thompson. And as long as they continue writing
over Leeds a little easier. “We’re innovative alt-rock they’ll have no
quite reliable. We turn up on “You’re like an idiot problem settling into a more suitable
time and bring a drum kit,” says environment, even if they’re not entirely
frontman Zand Murphy.
But even if manners are the secret to
savant. You’re only sure what that might be. “I want to get
to the point where we are playing and
Yonderboy’s popularity with promoters, good at one thing and we’ve got a big screen of chicken wire in
they wouldn’t be worth writing about front of us,” jokes Curragh.
were it not for their erratic blend of new you’re not even very Wherever they end up, they’ll be
wave lucidity and alt-rock enthusiasm.
What they aim for, they say, is a sound good at that” playing music, not least because Zand
isn’t sure what else he could do with
that fuses Talking Heads with The his life. “You’re like an idiot savant,”
Smiths and Radiohead, and true enough “We’ve all got a fairly similar taste in Curragh tells him. “You’re only good at
they share the intricate accessibility of music but it’s a fairly wide one,” says one thing and you’re not even very good
all three. But there is far more going on Zand. “But with the band we want to do at that.”
in their music than memorable hooks something very specific which is why we Actually, I’m not sure he’s right.
and danceable choruses. Yonderboy say we want to sound like this band and
construct melodies that weave and this one and this one. WORDS: ROBERT COOKE
collide, building to perceptively “It’s a good thing when people have
poignant climaxes. Their performances lots of ideas but I would rather not have Listen to Yonderboy at www.fused.co.uk
are animated, with an emotional clarity many ideas.”
that avoids over-sentimentality but still “Yeah,” Curragh says, “and just IMAGE L-R: Sammy, Curragh,
connects deeply with their audiences. develop them.” Zand and Bruce

fused 15
Mana
music

abadman?
Fused gets intimate with
Toddla T on music, drugs
and Annie Mac

H
e slowly opened his
heavy eyes, the sun was
scorching and the pool
cleaners were finishing
their rounds. The deck chair he
had chosen for a bed was far from
his 5 star suite complete with two
flat screen plasma TVs in the hotel
right behind him, but then again,
what was the point of having two
TVs. With bed sores and a banging
headache he headed straight for
the bar. It was 8am. One hour’s
sleep, could be worse. Best keep
the T shirt on to hide the chair
imprints.
By 11.30am he was battered again.
At midday he opened up Ultra, one
of Miami’s biggest clubs. ‘What’s
happenin!!’ he brawled down the mic at
the gathering air brushed crowd. Party
after party followed until 5am found
him in a lavish mansion built for the
Gods. Wow. A skinny, scruffy haired
English boy in a Skanky Skanky T-shirt
surrounded by scantily clad fake
breasted bunnies and American muscle
men. This could only be one man’s
house. P Diddy. He must have made it.
“It’s incredible man. I get paid to
do my hobby. I feel so lucky man, I’m
blessed.”
Twelve years ago, Tom Bell, aka
Toddla T, was in his bedroom mixing
his dad’s records on second hand
turntables, making beats on his
parents’ PC. Now the Sheffield born
24-year-old has a monthly slot on BBC
Radio One, he’s worked with most of
his musical heroes, has two albums
under his belt, bagged himself a hot DJ
girlfriend, and has toured the world as
one of dance music’s most promising
new DJs.
Gigging under the pseudonym Toddla
T, given to him by DJ friends when he
started because of his lack of height,
his success seems to have been as

fused 17
Clockwise: Manabadman vinyl sleeve, Skanky Skanky album cover, Annie Mac, Skanky Skanky single cover, Fabriclive 47 - Toddla T: Mixed by
Toddla T album cover, Toddla T with Tinchy Stryder

sudden as his growth spurt. I’m 19. I still surprise myself when I think about it.”
But his rise to success did not happen overnight. Tom is the definition of geek chic. His strong Sheffield
Tom, 24, grew up with his parents in Norfolk Park, a “half brawl and unruly hair make him look as though his hands
grimey, half nice” estate behind Park Hill in Sheffield. While are attached to a Van der Graaf generator. He speaks
most of his friends played football, Tom made music. He quickly, barely stopping to take a breath, twitching as
got his first decks when he was 12, and his first gig at The though he was running off pure caffeine.
Forum aged 16. After leaving school Tom worked in shops, What makes Tom’s music so appealing is its unique and
DJing at local clubs Kabal, DQ and Fez Club at night. indefinable sound. Even Tom struggles to put a label on
After five years of spinning decks in the steel city, Tom, himself saying his music is a “mish mash” of whatever he
aged 21 bravely ventured likes at the time, but that
outside the comfort of his freshness is the reason people
home town. “You’ve just gotta stick to your guns book him.
Since then he’s gone “What I do is kinda like
from strength to strength - and it’s like you’re either with me or all over the place. Everyone
from regional, to national, wants to hear that wobbly
to worldwide notoriety. you’re not and if you’re not, fuck it” shit...dubstep and all that. The
He’s produced tracks for Ruskos and whatevers, yeah
Roots Manuva and Tinchy Stryder and remixed Hot Chip, it’s wicked but it ain’t me, I’m not gonna just start lobbing in
Ladyhawke and Jack Peñate. wob wob wob for an hour and a half.
In May 2009 he released his debut album Skanky Skanky, “You’ve just gotta stick to your guns and it’s like you’re
followed by a Fabriclive Mix in August 2009, to much either with me or you’re not and if you’re not, fuck it, it’s only
acclaim. His name is splashed across virtually every major an hour and a half of your life init.”
club and festival line up across the country, if you don’t know Tom is fascinated with different cultures. His first album
him now you will soon. was inspired by a close childhood relationship with his
They say it takes ten years to be an overnight success. Jamaican neighbours and features a Caribbean MC and
In Tom’s case, it’s taken twelve. Just back from the Winter reggae samples.
Music Conference in Miami, Tom reflects on his career so far. “Me and my sister used to chat to my neighbour all the
“Long time init!” Tom laughs, “fucking hell. I still feel like time, it was fascinating. I’ve been Jamaica a couple of times

18 fused
music

and got really stuck in with trust’ which has opened up a lot of doors for him. Tom doesn’t
their sound and culture. When I often get star struck, but says he was tongue tied when he
actually went Jamaica this year met Davod Hasslehoff in a corridor at Radio One: “He was
it had that proper raw sound.” just like really slick, I was like wow you’re big! Jealous.”
Three years ago when the Musicians however don’t phase Tom in the slightest. “I’ve
Arctic Monkeys were at the met so many heroes in music like everyone from the bottom
height of their career Indie bands to the top, everyone from someone like Shy FX all the way up
dominated the music scene. Tom to like fucking P Diddy. Everyone’s the same at end of day. I
struggled at the start because his mean P Diddy’s invited me round his house like I would if he
rough electronic sound was very was here, you know what I mean.”
alternative, but over the last few I’m not sure P Diddy would be asking for an invite round
years skinny jeans have been Tom’s four-bedroom south London flat he shares with three
replaced with other twenty somethings
hoodies, bands
with DJs, and
“Any single red blood male but it’s nice to meet
someone with confidence.
Tom’s career
has blossomed.
would probably do what I did The music scene is
rife with temptations,
He is amazed
at the
and fuck about for ages“ especially for a young
DJ. With free alcohol on
transformation. tap, Tom admits it’s hard
“That right did my head in not to get drunk every night.
because everyone was like a “It’s so adrenaline driven. Sometimes you use it to chill
really crap Alex Turner, now it out or a nerves settler, you know what it’s like, you’ve had
seems like everyone’s got nights a couple and you’re off and because you are allowed to and
and DJs which is wicked. Times there’s a rider full of booze you turn into another thing.”
have changed. It’s not just Shef He may drink like a fish but when it comes to class A’s
which is more into dance, I think Tom’s teetotal. For a DJ his surprising naivety is endearing.
the whole country is right now. He says there is a lot of pressure on up and coming DJs who
You just have to look at the are trying to make a name for themselves and look cool and
charts.” although a lot of his friends indulge he always refuses.
Fed up of spending “Some people who take drugs just act like fucking
his life on a train, knobheads. Some people that drink act like knobheads
travelling between though. When I’m drunk I’m just like a bit stumbley and I
Sheffield and the still kinda know what’s going on and I think that if I took
capital, Tom’s drugs or whatever it would take me to a place where I
recently bought wouldn’t be able to control what I wanted to do or say like
“If I took drugs it would a flat in London. I’m not really into that.”
He likes the He reminds me of Screech from 90’s American sitcom
take me to a place City because ‘Saved By The Bell’, a bit geeky but everybody likes him.
it’s new and Where Screech was obsessed with books, Tom is obsessed
where I wouldn’t be exciting, but with music.
the pace of life “Music is like 90% of my life. People are into football and
able to control what I is sometimes all that, I’ll be at home finding music or making music or
too fast for our programming music, I’ll be doing this, I’ll be going there.
wanted to do or say - Yorkshireman, “It’s incredible but you really do gotta have that night off
leaving him man because even if it’s what I love and what I do, you’ve
I’m not really into that” homesick; gotta have a break, or it will drain you.”
missing the Tom’s only escape from music is by locking his phone and
simplicity of computer in another room and watching a DVD, but even
Sheffield life. then his mind wanders. He spends all day researching music
In Sheffield he’s and all night in clubs, his favourite locally being DQ where
a local celebrity and he indulges in the youth club-esque scandals and dramas.
constantly recognised, “It’s hilarious like everyone knows each other which is
whether he likes it or not. wicked but then you get your domestics and all that ‘oo that
Like most musicians Tom has bar staff got off with that DJ’, but I love that shit.”
a rep for being a ladies’ man, in the We get talking about fellow Sheffielders and former
early days of his career.
“I wasn’t a player I was just having fun and taking
advantage of what the stereotypical situation is,” he grinned
cheekily. “Basically overnight it turns really easy to have
female attention, and any single red blood male would
probably do what I did and fucked about for ages and it were
Quick Fire
right good but that were then and now is now so no more, for Favourite local DJs?
a while.” Pipes Winston, Danny Beck, Jack Opus
When it comes to talking about his girlfriend, Radio
One presenter and successful DJ Annie Mac, 31, Tom gets Favourite national DJs?
embarrassed, sitting back in his chair, avoiding eye contact. Shy FX, Martello, One Man, Boy 8 Bit
“She’s really sound,” he says shyly, “She’s lovely man. Britains Got Talent - yay or nay?
She’s one of the most genuine people I’ve met especially for Nay, definately nay
someone so successful,” he smiles almost accidentally as he
gazes out of the window. Then, as if he’s been caught he sits Favourite TV programme?
up and looks straight at me as though willing me to change Don’t watch TV, aint got time
topic and forget this brief insight into his thoughts. Favourite drink?
Annie is partially responsible for Tom’s success, after Erm dunno, JD or whatevers free
playing his tracks on her weekly electronic music show Best towns to play?
‘Annie Mac’s Mash Up’. He is anxious to point out she would
be playing his tunes regardless of their relationship. Sheffield, Birmingham.
“She’s been doing that before we even knew each other so Best sound system?
it’s not like feeding tunes,” he says defensively. “When we Valve Sound System
first started going out she refused to play stuff for a while Being spotted - flattering or annoying?
cos on Radio One you don’t wana be seen like that and shit
you know what I mean but she’ll support me regardless. If I It doesn’t really happen to be honest, but it’s good
stop going out with her tomorrow I’m sure she’d listen to the Message to readers?
music with her ear rather than the personal views.” Check my tunes. Oh and come to Ibiza
Tom has a monthly slot on Radio One’s ‘In new DJs we

fused 19
MUSIC

drinking buddies The Arctic Monkeys.


“I remember when they actually went bonkers and it was
big shit. It did piss me off a bit cos I thought it’s not me man,
not me at all.”
The Arctic Monkeys have become as much a symbol of
Sheffield as steel once was. Although Tom would love to take
their mantle from them, he appreciates their talent and says
their attitude is commendably uncompromising.
“What would you rather? Imagine if we went home to
fucking JLS or some fucking idiots like that or one of these
other manufactured pieces of shit that are out there, that
would be terrible.”
Tom has a pet hate of reality music show winners and
bands who try to DJ, saying they are “all shit”, especially
Bloc Party. His only exception to the rule is Arctic Monkeys
drummer Matt Helders.
“He’s wicked because he just plays what the fuck he wants,
like he doesn’t play any rock music, he plays garage and
house and hip hop, quite out there as well. It’s hilarious cos
these kids turn up and wana hear the fucking whoevers, the
whatevers, the blah blah blah and he’s just there playing So
Solid Crew it’s amazing.”
Tom has a guilty passion for popular R’n’B and chart hip-
hop. “I love that shit. I wouldn’t go as far as JLS and that
bollocks but really well written poppy R’n’B, like Lady Gaga
and shit, Neo and Usher and Dre are wicked.”
Like Helders, Tom always plays whatever he wants. “I
started with ‘Rude Boy’ in Miami at this real like hipster
party, I was like fuck it I’m proving a point this record’s
amazing. Shit, they weren’t having it.”
His method seems as mad as his hair, but people seem to
like it.
In April Tom signed to independent label Ninja
Tune. He originally signed to Sony’s 1965 subdivision,
the label that signed The Libertines and The Strokes,
after being scouted by A&R Ralph Rundell. But when
Rundell left, Tom’s relationship with Sony failed.
“They were shit,” he said angrily. “They just didn’t
get it, if someone’s marketing, I don’t know, Kings Of
Leon and Calvin Harris at the same time as me they can’t
be arsed, you know they’re gonna get top tens I’m not so
they’re gonna work harder for them.”
Tom is a lot happier with Ninja Tune and aims to release
his new album with them by the end of 2010.
So what else is planned for this year? “I don’t even know
what I’m doing next week,” Tom smiles at me across the
table. “Big tings!”
He lets his eyes drift to the window, watching the London
traffic snail past. I imagine he is drifting back to P Diddy’s
$14.5 million mansion, the crystal on ice, naked women

Listen swimming in the pool, the pool where he left his laptop, his
laptop which now belongs to a Miami thief. Oh well, it was
t
wwwo.fuToddla T
worth it.

Words: Rachel Ingram


sed.co. at
uk Listen to Toddla T at www.fused.co.uk

Major Lazer Tina Moore


Pon De Streets Never Gonna Let
What’s on You Go
Toddla T’s
iPod?
Beenie Man Wiley
Who I am Electric Boogaloo

Rihanna Lady Chann


Rude Boy Sticky Situation

20 fused
It’s no small thing,
Fused meets up with Leeds lads To Kill A King

A
s Shakespeare penned To Kill a King left Leeds a happy don’t seem to get that across, but yeah
Hamlet, probably in a room go lucky folk group, with their live we’re really passionate. And Ian’s got
dimly lit by a flickering performances featuring balloon laden some great shoes he occasionally wears
candle, it is unlikely he instruments and a hearty dose of banter live that look like conquers, they’re
would have thought his carefully with the crowd.“The sound changed as really brown, so if nothing else come for
scripted words would be adopted we got used to life in the big bad city,” Ian’s footwear.”
as a band name some By day, each member
400 years later. of TKAK toils away as a
Yet for Ralph, the teaching assistant. Come
singer, songwriter and evening, they gather as
guitarist for the formerly one to feverishly practice
known Kid ID, it inspired and sharpen their sound.
the perfect name to take Their jobs ensure the
the band he had nurtured band can keep going,
for the past four years to and at the moment a
the next level. combination of their gig
To Kill a King, a five profits and wages allow
piece from Leeds who for recordings and travel
describe themselves as – but are they aspiring for
“beat folk”, and who can more?
play over 14 instruments “It would be really nice
between them, upped to be able to fully focus on
sticks and made the the band. But you know,
journey south to London we’ve got to get by,” says
18 months ago, in an Joe.
attempt to crack the music “We’ve got to put bread
industry. But was parting on the table,” adds Ian.
such sweet sorrow? Joe continues: “I don’t
Hand-picked as one think any of us are driven
of the BBC Introducing by money but it’d be nice
acts for 2008, they to be to wake up be like
subsequently landed right we’re going to..”
prestigious slots at To Kill A King are, from top left: Ralph Pellymounter, “Do a song!” injects Ian.
Reading and Leeds Joe Clark, Ian Dudfield, Jon Willoughby and Josh Platman “Yeah exactly, it’d be
Festival. They were nice wouldn’t it?” muses
described as: “Darn good” Joe. “It can be quite
by Radio 1’s Greg James and: “One Josh explains. “It transformed and exhausting because we’re working all
of the few things that excited me this naturally progressed.” the time, and holidays and weekends
week” by Mark Lamar. To Kill a King Before the London adventure, one of are spent doing band stuff. It’s great
began to rule. TKAK’s key elements was their brass and we’re quite committed but it does
“We were a party band weren’t we? section; featuring a trombone and take its toll a bit.”
We were probably in the top 20,” says trumpet, but this was quickly dropped
Josh. once they arrived in the big smoke. “It “I’m scared of my
“The top 20 party bands?” Joe asks. was tough, but the music was changing
“Of Leeds yeah..” and wasn’t able to accommodate a adams’ apple. I can’t
“I don’t know if there is a league?” Joe trombone anymore,” says Josh.
finishes. “We love dancing around on stage and
touch it myself, it
being a bit silly, but we were thinking it horrifies me”
“I am quite pleased would be nice to focus on the music a bit
more. We wanted to make our sound a To Kill a King’s plan for 2010 is
when people walk bit more serious due to what is going on ambitious. They are talking festivals,
in London, with all the folky vibes at the bigger and better gigs, releases, radio
away from shows moment,” adds Joe. airtime, even to make audiences cry. An
I ask the boys why anyone should odd ambition?
crying” come and see them live now their style Ralph explains: “There is something
has changed so dramatically. great about getting in front of a lot of
In Josh’s defence, 2006 saw them The question prompts a short people and seeing them dance and
winning the Bright Young Things silence. “Hopefully they’ll consider it smiley faces, but now we want to do
competition, propelling them onto the to be slightly original, something they something different, and I am quite
Leeds scene, and leading to headline won’t have heard before,” suggests Ian. pleased when people walk away from
gigs at esteemed venues such as the “Obviously there are similarities to the shows crying.”
Cockpit. what is going on at the moment, but we You like making people upset, I
In 2007 they performed alongside like to think it’s a bit different, because question. “Yes.”
Pendulum at the Bloom Festival, and it’s kind of folky but it has got a rocky As the afternoon ticks over, I wonder
joined the likes of Mark Ronson, The and synth edge. Plus we go all out, the if they have ever successfully reduced
Cribs and Turin Brakes in 2008. In harmonies are good, it’s quite a good a Leeds crowd to tears, or if this is
truth, there isn’t a league. But if there show.” something only their new London
was, I’d back TKAK to be battling for “We look like we are enjoying ourselves audiences would submit to. They debate
top spot. as well,” adds Josh. “A lot of other bands the differences between the Leeds and

22 fused
ToKill A King
music

London crowd.
“In Leeds everyone stands up, dancing Fused ask To Kill A King a few quick fire questions...
and singing along – quite drunken a lot
of the time. But in London people seem Do any of you have an unusual fear? terminology though.
to take it more seriously, they’re little Ian: My Adams’ apple. To be honest, that could have been
bit more static,” says Ralph. You’re scared of your own Adams’ worse though, what with the fact it’s a
“People are a bit more self conscious apple? gynecology department.
full stop in London,” says Ian. Ian: I hate it, I hate people touching it and Ralph: What terminology did you learn?
“But sometimes there have been gigs I can’t touch it myself. It absolutely horrifies Josh: I leant about vulvul warts. That was
in Leeds where people have been a bit me.” exciting.
lairy and whatever, maybe not listening Joe: I have two fears. One is wet beards, Joe: Are they from drinking too much
to the music as much as maybe when big wet beards. Volvic? What are they?
they’re standing.” Ralph: I hate to point this out Joe, but you Ian: I had a job selling sandwiches for a
are sporting quite a big beard. while. Having to get up and go into a
“I had a half-hour train Joe: Yeah. I hate it when it gets wet.. hot stuffy horrible kitchen at half six in the
Well what do you do when you wash? morning and make sandwiches for three
journey back to Leeds Joe: I put on my beard cap. hours wasn’t fun.
stinking of shit.” You’ve got a beard cap?
Joe: No.
Joe: Mine is a job I loved but it was hard.
Ralph: We’re not doing jobs you loved!
They laugh, I blush. Joe: Well it was an old people’s home,
After eighteen months in London, Joe: My other one is babies, made to look I loved it there. But there was one time
the boys are beginning to get used to older, you know babies in high heels. when I was feeding this old lady, and I
the ways of life down South. Jon, their Ralph: Is that a fear? More of a dislike? It’s a was putting spoonfuls in her mouth, and
drummer, still commutes from Leicester very subtle difference. it all started falling out of her mouth and
to practices and gigs, and Josh still lives I realised she wasn’t swallowing it. I had
at home with his parents. The boys What trait do you most dislike in to help her swallow it with the nurse
mock him, although I detect a hint of yourself? obviously, but yeah you had to be on the
jealousy as they mention how his dad Joe: I’m self-absorbed, I don’t like that. I ball. There was another time when I was
still records Match of the Day every think about myself too much. lifting up the commode; it was the first time
week. I wonder if they miss Leeds, and Ian: I love myself. I’d done that.
all that comes with a life up north - the Ralph: But is that something that you Ian: What’s a commode?
accents, the Peak District and the pints actually dislike in yourself? Joe: It’s what they sit on, where they do
for less than £4. Ian: Yeah I dislike how much I love myself. their shits, like a wheelchair. There’s a
“For sure,” says Joe. “We were up there Joe: The self-love in this band is strong. bucket underneath of the chair and if you
this weekend playing a festival, and we Josh: I’m fairly neurotic, I worry about tip it one way it falls out, and it fell out and
had a bit of a nostalgic time. Leeds is a things. I let things build up too much when covered me in shitty water. I didn’t have
great place to be, it’s really exciting, lots they’re not really that big a deal, which is in any spare trousers so I had to get a half
going on. And it shaped us as a band. I a way, self-absorption as well. hour train journey back to Leeds stinking of
definitely miss it.” Ralph: I can think too much in my head shit. There were two carriages on the train
There is no denying the talent and and not talk enough. I feel like that was and mine was pretty much empty.
raw dedication of these Yorkshire turning into counselling then, I was waiting
thoroughbreds. It would be all too for someone to bring up something really As we stare, with a mixture of disgust
cosy to stay rooted in Leeds, and their dark.” and humour slapped over our faces, I
relocation speaks volumes about their asked him what exactly it was he loved
inner pride and desire. I have to hand it What’s the worst job you have ever had? about this job.
to Mr Shakespeare – they are no small Josh: Definitely in a gynecology Joe: It was great because I saw a lady turn
thing, To Kill a King. department, at St Jimmy’s hospital in Leeds. 100, which was nice. She got a cake and a
It was very boring. I leant some good letter from the queen.
Words: Clare McPartland

Listen to To Kill A King at www.fused.co.uk

Want to catch To Kill A King live? On 6th June they play Communion @Notting Hill Arts Club, London.
Doors open 8pm. On 18th June they play Bloody Awful Poetry@The Enterprice, Chalk Farm, London.
Doors open 8pm. Visit www.tokillaking.co.uk for more dates and venues. fused 23
Live
music:
sectionreview

J
ust like the build-up to Christmas, the s
festival season seems to start earlier every b
year. And with the weather as unpredictable s
as it has been lately, the first day of May
seems a little premature to be thinking about B
spending a weekend in a field vomiting into your w
wellies. i
Fortunately, Live At Leeds eases its audience into i
the festival routine a little more gently. The event t
engulfs 17 of the city’s best venues, cramming 170 t
bands into the Saturday all-dayer. Which is good s
news for camping-sceptics and discerning indie b
consumers alike.
After meeting up with Yonderboy for a chat at the w
Brudenell Social Club (p. 15), Fused scurries into e
Sky Larkin the city centre to catch the cacophonous closing b
bars of Sheffield’s Rolo Tomassi. Latecomers t
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24 fused g
at Leeds
Music: section
review

struggle to squeeze into the tiny Cockpit backroom, trends.


but the sheer force of the band’s feral hardcore Back upstairs at the Refectory and Blood Red Shoes prove
e sound could set off nosebleeds in Headingley. bigger isn’t better, as Laura-Mary Carter on guitar and
Vessels, who follow, seem relaxed by contrast. Steve Ansell on drums fuse ferocity with eloquence. Fitting
But that is not to ignore the complex framework on somewhere in between Bikini Kill and Death From Above
which they hang their ideas. Their opening track 1979, their grungy set is tight and leaves a lasting impression,
is a slow-builder, which develops layers of melody creating a spectacle of its raw simplicity. They do lose some
o into eventually a pulsating post-rock colossus. The of their edge in a room this size, but Blood Red Shoes just
track’s progression feels compellingly organic, manage to assert their paradoxically huge sound.
though as their set progresses, their imagination Sky Larkin close the festival back at The Well in the town
seems to stagnate, and the structure of their songs centre. After a few secret shows earlier in the year, this is the
begins to meander rather than captivate. Leeds trio’s first proper headline show for some time. In it,
The slack is confidently picked up by Yonderboy, they showcase material from their forthcoming second album,
e whose songs articulate a distinctive character, which sees them exploring the spaces in between the sound
enthusiasm and energy that underpins them. The they established on The Golden Spike. At times they are faster
band must perspire hooks, because their set is full of and punkier than ever before, while at others they shrug off
them, and they are all tightly woven together within the three-minute pop song strait jacket, in favour of more
tight parameters that define them as recognisably ambitious motifs and highly developed melodies.
their own. This resolute focus suggests a band of few These new tracks, combined with imaginatively wild
insecurities, whose performance struts from quiet renditions of singles ‘Beeline’ and ‘Molten’, set Sky Larkin on
concentration to frantic irreverence. a promising path towards revitalising their sound without
Over at Leeds University Stylus, Lightspeed losing their character. This set confirms them, much as it
Champion (a.k.a. Dev Hynes) is showing similar confirms Live At Leeds in general, as one of Yorkshire’s most
confidence – though with him it feels misplaced. interesting, exciting and inspiring projects.
Opening his set with The Beatles’ ‘It Won’t Be Long’,
Hynes sets the standard of songwriting a little WORDS: ROBERT COOKE
too high too early. His jangly pop tunes are sweet
enough, and on a technical level, their composition Listen to Rob’s Live at Leeds playlist at www.fused.co.uk
and performance show skill. Unfortunately, in
trying to match up to the great songwriters of the
past, Hynes is too backwardly referential. In a sense
his ambition should be applauded, but his talent is
lost in the whitewash of nostalgia. Ultimately, his
set loses relevance, as he shows he has yet to write
anything as timeless as John, Paul or George (sorry
Ringo).
Next door at the Refectory, The Bronx offer a
welcome respite from the chronically self-aware
indie bands that dominate the festival. Their loud-
as-fuck hardcore punk prompts and promotes a
string of wildly reckless circle pits, which in its own
warped way makes it energising to see a band who
can invoke absolute anarchy for an hour. Admittedly
there is little in their music to set them apart from
a host of other bands (fans of early Thrice, for
example, will feel at home), The Bronx are special in
the way they deliver their songs. Few other bands
perform with this kind of unreserved fury, which
attaches importance not to what The Bronx play, but
how they play it.
‘Furious’ would not be a word to describe The
Crookes’, who played at Mine in the Leeds Students’
Union. Back in Sheffield where the quartet met Taking lunch
at University, praise has been coming their way with The Bronx
for a while, and it would be unfair to suggest that
their set feels like a half hour that could have been
better spent. But it has to be said that The Crookes
are a band who play very safe. Their upbeat twee
Vampire Weekend-esque balladry is likeable, but
is unlikely to inspire a musical revolution. Jerking
around the stage, the band put a lot of energy into
their performance, but the songs themselves are too
anonymous to get overly excited about. Similarly,
casting themselves as privately educated fops in
their teddy boy shirt sleeves seems like more of a
gimmick than an honest subversion of contemporary fused 25
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28 fused
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Cultureshock
Showcasing young bands, artists,
actors
and dancers from Yorkshire. Fes
tival goers
can attend one of 25 workshops
on offer,
sampling Bollywood dance or invi
sible
theatre.
Headlining this year is Lethal Bizz
le and
Little Comets.
Any bands or artists wanting to Northallerton
perform
should send a press pack to mat
t.burrows@
northyorks.gov.uk. Thurs 1st -Sat 3rd July
Rappers can battle throughout
the day,
to apply email james.koppert@nort £5.50 adv, £6 on the door
hyorks.
gov.uk.
Budding film director? Have you
r film
aired on the big screens, send the
details
and DVD of your film to Matt Bur
CYC, North Yorks County Council
rows,
, County
L i v e
nd
Hall, Northallerton, DL7 8AE.

m o
Rich
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s i t www fused 29
Vi
arts

Anything but quiet


uncensored, as long
as they are driven solely
by their own artistic
impulse. There are no
vested interests, which
means that the zine has
Poetry zine, live music night, philosophy: never carried advertising or benefitted from grant
money, and never will. When I ask Mike how it’s
what isn’t Unquiet Desperation?

P
funded, he pulls out his Barclaycard and asks me
not to print exactly how much debt he’s in.
eople tell Mike Drabble that he sounds like an 18-year-
What I will say is the figure is high enough
old who’s just gone to university. His response? “Well,
to question the logic of blind ideology. For Mike
so what?”
though, the relationship between art and money
He’s not just a smart-arse student though. He’s a
is simple: “Too much art in Sheffield is people in
philosophy teacher, a creative writing teacher and most interestingly,
offices around the Showroom Cinema [the heart of
he’s the founder of Unquiet Desperation – whatever that might be.
the so-called ‘Cultural Industries Quarter’] handing
“It’s not just a music night. It’s not just a poetry mag,” he says,
out money. They’ve got a 2.2 from some minor
though it is both of those things. But there is something broader, more
university in some arts subject and that qualifies
inclusive underpinning UD: “It’s about removing the illusions that we
them to control the lifeblood of the arts industry.
battle every day and seeing through to something deeper.”
“Art has to come from the grassroots.” But life in
Mike finds it easiest to explain UD in terms of ‘memetics’, which
the grassroots isn’t easy when every other artist in
explains society’s culture in the same way that genetics explains
Yorkshire is being bankrolled by the Arts Council.
biology. Cultural ‘memes’ – poems, books, songs, paintings – are
Rejecting cold cash is something that few creatives
like scraps of DNA that combine to create a cultural organism or
seem willing to do.
‘memeplex’.
“A lot of people like the idea of what we are
Which is a good way of explaining the monthly Unquiet Desperation
saying,” says Mike, “but when it comes to actually
Presents… nights in Sheffield, which have recently moved from
doing it they find out how difficult it is and how
Bungalows & Bears to The Harley. Show up and you’ll find bands
much temerity it takes.” In other words, they
on stage, artists working on canvases, surrealist cinema projected
give up on creativity for its own sake, because the
on to the walls and aspiring writers working on poetry and prose to
rewards are too abstract. It’s much easier to be
submit to the next zine. When dreamy
an artist when you’re only doing it to get
folk songstress Alessi’s Ark appeared in
February, there was even a tombola where
“In Al-Qaeda terms I’m paid or get laid, even if it does ultimately
corrupt your work.
you could win a Belle & Sebastian album the spiritual leader” UD though, is the exception. It thrives
(which in a way, says it all).
internationally beyond the zeitgeist,
So UD isn’t just a music night, nor is it just a poetry mag. It’s an art
unhindered by market dynamics. The zine is on a
studio, a cinema showcase, a writers’ workshop and an unashamedly
temporary hiatus, as Mike prepares a new volume,
twee village fete as well. It’s a... you know... a memeplex.
but the UD Presents… nights will continue, and
Local promoter Jeremy Arblaster is largely responsible for the
there are plans for poetry nights and creative
nights, but Mike has been responsible for the bigger UD project since
writing workshops.
early 2006. “In Al-Qaeda terms I’m the spiritual leader,” he says,
Unquiet Desperation, after all, is bigger than a
deadpan.
12-page booklet: “When UD withers, as eventually
Following in the Beat tradition of Kerouac and Ginsburg, Mike
it will, the ideas will still be there,” Mike contends.
decided to set up a mag where he could publish his students’ work.
But these ideas can’t be bought or sold – only read,
With Sheffield as his base, he began distributing UD in the local
watched or heard.
bars. Word started to spread, and thanks to the website, it started to
spread globally. Within a year and a half, UD had gone international,
WORDS: ROBERT COOKE
with local editions in Australia and North America – including three
editions in New Jersey alone. In a good month, 20,000 copies of the
mag get printed, well outstripping any other UK poetry publication.
This success, it seems, is based on the deeply rooted concept of
UD. “It’s about giving people more and giving people a chance
to get out of their lives, but it retains the educational and
altruistic element it always has had,” Mike says. “It’s all
about giving people an opportunity.”
So UD offers people the chance to explore the limits
of their own creativity. Contributors are

30 fused
T RIES

“I’ve drifted back to the 1940s...”


CLARE

This month, Clare spends the night with Sheffield’s modern


women’s institute (yes, the WI)

W
hen it comes to the intricacies to veto the tea.
of feminine etiquette I would The women that run
say I’m a bit of a failure. Yes, the group are in their mid
I can cook a decent enough twenties, and snigger along
meal so long as your idea of gourmet with the rest of the girls as
includes a cracking cheese toastie or a stir fry. I also they read out the compulsory
know how to clean a toilet bowl, a valuable skill I am WI memos.
sure you will agree. But I’m talking about the skills This evening we are told
my nan had mastered by my age. When it comes to about a jam festival, a flower
crocheting, darning jumpers and making stews – I’m a arranging competition and
no hoper. somewhat controversially a Burleqsue nigh
So the evening I decided to visit the UK’s first WI for triathlon. The women gasp t at the WI
women aged between 20-40, I was a tad at the
apprehensive. “There is a group mention of the
The mention of the WI cues instant word. As the details of the event
clichéd images of women sporting dowdy of women furiously are spelled out, a five mile cycle, ten
dresses singing Jerusalem, producing knitting baby socks and mile swim and 50 mile walk there is an
jam in jars doused with ribbons and audible silence in the room, as I imagine
discussing where to buy hair rollers. scarves in the corner” every member tries to suppress images of
grannies in their cossies and nose clips.
The institute did under-go a brief
reinvention in the wake of the Skipton calendar girls, but Thankfully, there is a snag. The event is spread over six
now another Yorkshire WI have plans to kick the institute months. The room erupts into laughter – this requires no
firmly into 2010. Seven Hills WI like to think they are less Olympic athletes.
jam and Jerusalem - more burlesque and belly dancing. They Then follows a curious event. The leader announces the
aim to “put a bit of sisterhood back in to Sheffield” and it names of the ladies who would be celebrating their birthday
is tailored to the younger women living or working in and this month; each name leading to a round of rapturous
around the city. applause. I reluctantly join in, feeling slightly odd about
The meeting is held in a church hall in the centre of the sudden switch between mocking their institute, to
Sheffield, a building that looks highly unlikely until you walk conforming to its old fashioned rituals.
in and are greeted by the sight of many, many women. During the break (cue more tea) I natter to my neighbour
I help myself to a cuppa, kindly donated by Yorkshire Tea, about why she became a member. She gushes about loving
sit down and gaze at the sights surrounding me. being surrounded by like minded women, and having a few
I almost feel like I have drifted back to the 1940’s, yet I am hours shut away from the men outside. The lack of men
not sure I can put my finger on why. Perhaps it is the setting; proves to be the appeal for most other members, seeing as
a dated church hall, paintings made by children littering the group only began in October yet has reached maximum
the walls, and a scuffed aging wooden piano lingering in the capacity.
corner. Perhaps it is merely the sight of nearly 100 women We are then introduced to our speaker for the evening, a
gossiping and sipping tea as they perch round tables with woman named Joanne Friend, who describes to us the talent
gingham tablecloths thrown over. behind paper craft.
Perhaps it is the group of women “I imagine every member Once again the talk prompts a mix
furiously knitting baby socks and tries to suppress images of of both silly and serious behaviour, as
scarves in the corner. throughout the talk mumbles, whispers
Either way, the atmosphere is one of grannies in their cossies” and giggles are a permanent feature.
unexpected warmth and relaxation. I However, as Joanne shows us an array
almost feel comfortable enough to kick back and rest my feet of delightful scrapbooking ideas the girls give frequent bursts
on my table. of enthusiastic clapping. These are clearly women who want
Yet despite all the scenes that I imagine would be to have a laugh; but who also actually want to know about
representative of most WI meetings, there are a few touches these things.
that bring me back to the modern day. I leave the meeting feeling surprisingly happy about my
Most obviously, the average age of members would settle evening. The sense of welcome and community overrode any
around 30, and some women have sneaked in a bottle of feelings of apprehension I had on arrival, and I found myself
wine, clearly choosing quite enjoying my first WI experience.
It was very homely to be surrounded by so many women,
and to discover that in reality, although the group think
of themselves as a modern version of the WI, the only
noticeable difference is the age of the women. It would
appear, perhaps slightly controversially, that despite years
of women claiming they would like to be treated equally with
men in terms of jobs and being granted entry into men only
social clubs, they still want exclusive female only time.
These are modern women, who work hard, have successful
careers, nuture families, yet they still want to learn the skills
their grandmothers mastered, slurp tea and have a gossip.
They want the best of both. And so do I. Talk to me again in a
few months and I’ll knit you a jumper, cook you a stew – and
possibly throw in a jar of gooseberry jam for good measure.
ft ideas Members getting creative WORDS: CLARE MCPARTLAND
Joannes papercra
fused 31
TR IES
CLARE
“Then she whipped off her dress...”
Our resident tester Clare grabs her easel and oil paints and
heads off to a life drawing class

S
he is not the first from standing, to sitting, to laying. The Fancy trying these out
woman I have seen time allocated for each drawing lengthens, yourself? Read below for
naked. A woman’s until we have half an hour to draw the lady all the info on where to
do them across Yorkshire:
body is something I as she lies on her side. The leader offers
have witnessed before. me a piece of charcoal. I regard it. What WI:
But I have never studied it. Never observed, do I do with charcoal? I glance at the girl These groups for younger
peered at or scrutinised every curve, freckle or a few chairs from me, and see she holds it women are relatively new,
wrinkle. just like a pencil, but smudges it at every but check http://www.thewi.
Yet, as I watch this pregnant lady whip off possible chance. So I do the same. org.uk/ to find a group near
her dress and underwear, that is exactly what After twenty minutes I feel pretty pleased you. The Seven Hills WI
I am expected to do. with myself. The picture in front of me meets on the third Thurs-
Perhaps I should put this into context. I am is something Monet would be ashamed day of every month, at St
Matthews Hall, Carver Lane,
sitting in fairly plain room, on a chair that is of, but I am fairly chuffed that it strikes Sheffield. Contact Lindsay via
one of many organised in a similarities with what
circle around this starkers “I left the excruciating I can see in front of me.
email on sevenhillswi@live.
co.uk for more information.
lady. I have a board with a Bar the fact she has no
large sheet of paper resting days of art lessons face, feet or hands. But Life drawing:
on it in front of me, a what does that matter?
pencil in hand. I am about
safely behind me in The leader smiles at
University of Sheffield Give-it-
a-go life drawing runs every
to experience my first life
drawing class.
year nine for a reason” me as she looks at it,
and suggests I try some
Tuesday in the Crookesmoor
building. Tickets are £4.50
from the union box office.
Now, art is not my strong point. In fact it is shading. She tells me to look at the way the
far from it. I left the excruciating days of art skin flows over the body, and to shade in Artlink Centre For Lifelong
lessons safely behind me in year nine for a that direction. I look at the woman’s ribs, Learning in Hull offers a ten
reason. As people slowly filter into the room, I and rub some charcoal over the rib section week life drawing course
begin to get a bit anxious about this fact. The in my picture. She says it’s already much for £55. Contact the college
mood is one of seriousness, everyone looks better – and she’s right. to enquire about new start
very arty to me – you know the type, very The class ends after two hours, and dates.
fashionable and quirky looking, perhaps in a everyone shuffles out of the room while
beret or oversized specs. the woman dresses herself. As I clutch Abbey Walk gallery in
Grimsby runs four week long
One boy whips out an entire selection of onto a pile of drawings, I cannot help but life drawing classes for over
pencils from his bag. To me they all look the feel a little smug. The experience was 18’s. Visit www.thisisgrimsby.
same, but I imagine in the eyes of a pro each surprisingly relaxing, and it did not matter co.uk for more info.
one has a minor yet substantial difference. In in the slightest that I have the talent of a
a panic I inform the girl holding the class that wet rag. I am even proud of some of my Scarborough Art Gallery are
I am very poor at art. Terrible, in fact. I also art. I also thought I would find it difficult holding life drawing classes
ask her to please not laugh at my attempts. not to stare and perhaps even giggle at in the autumn. They are also
She gives me a sympathetic look, but takes it the naked person, but I quickly got used to looking for models, with a
surprisingly well – half of me expected her to the occasion, and soon forgot how odd the wage of £25 an hour. Find
them on Facebook for more
frog march me out the room. circumstance was. I take a sneaky peak details.
The class begins and the lady adopts a at everyone else’s pieces, and notice how
standing pose, hands on hips, legs slightly varied the level of talent was. Maybe I was Leeds University Union Arts
apart. We have five minutes to draw her, and not the worst in the room. Will I go back? Society holds life drawing
it takes every ounce of power I have to draw Quite possibly. I may even treat myself to a classes every Wednesday, at
something that vaguely resembles a human. box of pencils for the occasion. 6.30-8.30pm. It costs £2 for
And to not gawp at her absent mindedly, her WORDS: CLARE MCPARTLAND
members and £3.50 for non
fantastic pregnant body proving a strangely members. Basic equipment
interesting distraction. is supplied, but feel free to
bring more exotic materials
As we draw, the leader wanders round
of your own.
the room, peering over peoples’
shoulders and
offering tips
and advice. As
she approaches
me, I can feel
myself tensing.
But she merely
commends the
fact my lady is in
proportion, and
explains a method
I can use to ensure
all the angles I
draw are correct. The seated pose
As time passes,
the poses change n pose Two stand
ow in
The laying d g poses
32 fused
YOUR
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IN
s E D
fu
YORKSHIRE BASED
TRADERS, YORKSHIRE
MUSIC VENUES,
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Contact:
E-mail - ads@fused.co.uk
Phone Rob - 07890123456

fused 33
Ghosts

Haunted Yo FUSED explores Britain’s Mos

D
eath. Life’s most morbid Mark Saunders, a founding
inevitability. But should member of Haunted Britain
it be? When our hearts thinks the presence of spirits is
contract for the final time, unquestionable. “There are so
does that single defiant whimper many things in this world we
really signify the absolute end of humans don’t understand or can’t
our existence? We can prove how interpret without machinery.
a life is born, we know how our Think of radio waves, sonar, echo
bodies grow and ultimately age, location. Is it really unreasonable
but what we don’t know is what to think a human being can’t live
happens, if anything, when our on in another capacity once its
hearts and minds are laid to rest. heart stops beating?”
Whether you can bring yourself Yorkshire’s famous dales and
to accept the presence of ghosts moorlands are littered with
and evil spirits, or believe in the buildings and industrial townships
notion of life after death, there is bursting with character, history
no escaping the fact that reports and raw atmosphere. The city of
of supernatural sightings and York, in the heart of the county,
encounters in Yorkshire are as is hundreds of years old and the
rife as ever. ‘Haunted Britain’, site of numerous past battles,
an institute that handles and murders and brutal executions.
logs such reports say there is no In times of civil war, internal
discrepancy in activity between conflict and Viking invasion, York
2010 and the medieval period. was a prime target for takeover
Chillingly, the organisation and as a consequence, the blood
identifies Yorkshire as Britain’s of thousands of soldiers and
hot spot for paranormal activity; civilians has been spilled upon the
so if you’re not a believer, perhaps cities cobbled streets. In 2010 this
it’s time to think again. rich historical radiance remains
Jane from Barnsley tells of her obvious to both residents and
recent experience: tourists. Jason Karl, a published
“It was News Years Day, at author of ghost like phenomenon
about 8.30am, we’d been out and incident, is president of
walking my Alsatian along the the Ghost Research Foundation
railway line in Carlton when I International. Karl’s organisation
saw an elderly woman walking specialises in hunting the
towards me. The lady had a long paranormal and single out York
white shawl wrapped around as not only Britain’s most ghostly
her and was gripping it firmly to site, but the most haunted and
counter the wind. As she slowly eerie city on the planet. “People
approached, I said hello. She want to believe in life after death
stopped, smiled at me, and – in something more. Those that
my dog instantly dropped to participate in séance’s and visit
the ground, cowering and cities like York will have either
crying, I couldn’t move him. experienced their own encounter,
I looked up at the lady and or just be excited by the prospect
she continued to stare at me of sensing otherworldly activity.
with dark eyes, still smiling. Ghost hunting remains extremely
My heart raced, then she popular and there’s no better place
began to fade very slowly. for it than York”.
I would have put the whole Now every evening at the
thing down to a particularly strike of eight pm, residents and
bad hangover, if my dog hadn’t tourists nervously congregate
died that afternoon.” in front of the King’s Arms pub
Many cartoons and comics near the Ouse Bridge to embark
would have the novice upon ‘The Original Ghost Walk
ghost hunter searching for of York’. Thousands of people
a floating bed sheet, but have experienced this spooky,
those who claim to have shadowy tour of the cities most
actually encountered the haunted sites, led by guides clad
un-dead talk of sudden in authentic Victorian attire.
drops in temperature, Participants are told tales of fallen
coupled with translucent, soldiers, medieval massacres and
graying figures, usually lost souls while being taken to
alone, emitting a sense those sites at which apparitions
of purpose, unfinished are most likely to appear.
business, not merely the “Excuse my French, but I
desire to terrify. completely shit myself,” jokes

34 fused
ghosts

orkshire
ost Haunted County
Gavin Donoghue, a first timer.
“The guides really know their
stuff and get you believing there’s
a ghost around every corner”.
While guests may be spooked, do
they really go home convinced
of the presence of after life? “I’ve
always been skeptical about that
sort of thing, but it definitely got
me thinking differently, I did feel
something, like another presence,
not that I can quite put my finger
on what it was. It got me thinking
that we’re probably not alone”.
Other haunted places for
budding ghostbusters to visit
include Whitby Abbey in North
Yorkshire, which was built in 657
AD as a double monastery housing
both men and women. Visitors to
the abbey have reported sightings
of the apparition of Constance De
Beverley, a nun who passed away Whitby Abbey - home to the ghost of Constance de Beverley
having been bricked-up and left
to starve in the Abbey’s dungeon. execution in 1702, Busby’s remains world was created, it seems there
Constance had reportedly broken were erected opposite the inn - a is still plenty of room within our
her vows by falling in love with reminder to the public of just what imaginations to contemplate life
a knight. She was left to die cold befalls those who commit such after death. Let us not forget,
and alone as punishment for her monstrous crimes. Inn patrons the very concept of ghosts was
transgressions. Visitors claim say there’s ‘little doubt’ of Busby’s not dreamt up by medieval
presence. Chillingly, the chair in movie makers, or devised and
which Busby regularly sat was documented by scholars and
“My dog instantly confiscated from the Inn, after literary leaders for us to take as
five people that supposedly sat in fact. Our fascination and study
dropped to the it mysteriously passed away. The of the paranormal is fuelled by
ground, cowering chair is now displayed in Thirsk
museum, above head height.
real-life experiences; of close
encounters with the unexplainable
and crying” Cynics would suggest that in and unidentifiable, of things that
an era of great technological go bump in the night.
advancement, where religion and For decades, the city of York has
to have seen her waiting on the faith are becoming increasingly been capitalising on its reputation
dungeons staircase, awaiting scrutinized by scientific fact as ‘most haunted’. Ghost walks and
release, while feeling sudden and and study, not only should we tours, lectures, themed pubs/shops
unnerving drops in temperature not believe in the presence of and weekend breaks have become
upon entering the dungeon. spirits et al, but that if such established features of the tourist
Other visitors to the Abbey tell phenomenon really did exist, we trade. Now, many other Yorkshire
stories of being stalked by a dark now have ample tools to prove towns and villages are beginning to
phantom that causes passing cars so beyond all reasonable doubt. copy the blueprint of the principal
to crash or break down. The same That said, Haunted Britain city by exploiting man’s desire
haunting was blamed for a coach remains as strong and viable an to witness the supernatural and
full of church goers plummeting organisation as ever, with regular indulge in the truly frightening.
over a cliff edge, killing nine people and frequent reports of sightings/ The manner in which the
and severely injuring several encounters. “Some sightings popularity of these alternative
more. Panicked and petrified are described so vividly” exhibitions has spread goes
venue managers have since gone explains Mark Saunders. “But someway to demonstrating the
as far as developing an alternative people really struggle to modern public’s willingness
route to the site, to help prevent explain or rationalise what to embrace the existence
further catastrophe. they’ve experienced; we’ve of a phenomenon that has
Busby Stoop Inn at Sand Hutton, had calls from self confessed captured hearts and minds for
North Yorkshire reportedly houses skeptics, convinced they’ve centuries.
the ghost of Thomas Busby and is had contact with another
named accordingly. Busby was a being or dimension”. So as Words: Kimberly
thief and a drunkard who despised the universe continues Allison
his father-in-law. One winter’s to expand, and we
evening when drunk, Busby ended humans begin to further For information
his life with a hammer to the head, understand on Yorkshire
and was subsequently hanged the manner ghost walks, visit
for his brutal sin. Following his in which our www.fused.co.uk

fused 35
36 fused
section

Thrift or Theft?
Fused investigates the freegan
way of life

A
feast fit for bins. In his you will find at some stage in the bins
eight years raiding the at the back. This includes things
bins behind his local like meats, cheeses, breads, fruits,
supermarkets, Alf, a vegetables, tins of food, cereals, luxury
freegan has discovered feasts fit for items like tea, coffee or bottles of wine,
a king. to household items like toothpaste and
“I once found several lobsters flown toilet rolls... you name it!” said Alf.
in fresh from Canada that day. It was Molly* used to work for Waitrose and
a nice surprise because I had never had told me about her first hand experience
Lobster before”, said Alf. of the high levels of waste produced
“Sometimes you can find enough food by supermarkets and how she was
to feed a small army, which can last for regularly made to throw away high
several days or even weeks. quality confectionary just because of a
“Often I am left scratching my small dint in the packaging.
head thinking why is all of this edible “We used to have bargain bins in
food being condemned to landfill or the store but the manager said that it
incineration?” wasn’t in keeping with the store image
According to Alf, a criminal “genocide” and that he’d rather throw the crappy
of resources is happening on a daily products away,” she said.
basis in this country and it has been “The store makes fresh chicken on the
going on for years. deli and they used to make more than
The freegan lifestyle is politically they needed but they never used to
motivated and involves gathering waste reduce the price until 20 minutes before
food from supermarket bins because of the store closed so no one bought it. It all
a strong ethical disagreement with the used to get binned.”
amount of food wasted by supermarkets I asked her about freegans and if she
each day. Freegans are not homeless had ever encountered anyone taking
and they don’t take the food because food from the bins when she worked
they are unable to pay for it. there.
They have a deep respect for the “We locked the bins so people wouldn’t
environment and view their activity have been able to get into them, but if
as contributing to saving the planet in they had they would have found a feast,”
a time when our demand on natural she said.
resources is exceeding the Earth’s “When I was told to throw out £20
ability to renew them. boxes of chocolate with slight dents
Each day supermarkets throw away in them I would open them, eat the
food that has reached its best before contents then put the empty boxes in
date even if it is still edible, as well as the bin because I thought, why waste
food freshly prepared in store that day them?”
that hasn’t been sold. According to the Waste and Action
“Pretty much everything you find on Research Programme (WARP) there is
the shelves at the front of supermarkets no escaping the fact that the current

fused 37
freeganism

level of food and drink waste is typical student routing through the another even when they have discarded
having a negative impact on both bins, bloody disgusting”. I hid my head it either in a skip or dustbin and
the environment and the economy. deeper into the bin, blushing amongst therefore freegans are committing theft.
According to WARP, almost 3 million the rubbish and hoping to God that it When I asked Alf if he was concerned
tonnes of food and drink is thrown away wasn’t someone I knew. about the legal repercussions of
each year before ever being cooked or As I went back to quietly rifling freeganism he did not seem deterred by
served, with 450,000 tonnes of food through the garbage I started to think it.
being binned because it has passed a that nothing in those bags was going “I have been caught skipping on a
‘best before’ date. to make this experience worthwhile number of occasions, although I don’t see
Green party member for Yorkshire but then I discovered a Muller corner it as a criminal activity, i.e. something
and Humber, Shan Oakes believes we yoghurt, some Bernard Matthews to be “caught” doing, although some
are a “throwaway society” and that this turkey ham and some Princes summer would disagree.
must change before we find we have fruit juice, all past their best before “I usually try to reason with store
nothing left. date. I quickly bagged my treasure and workers, who are often open to either
She said, “I am delighted to support made a dash for it before anyone I knew turning a blind eye and on a few
people who rescue food from certain could see what I was doing. occasions, actively encouraging what we
waste. Personally, I haven’t yet climbed Earlier that evening as I sat on Google do,” he said.
into a skip for food, maps planning Being aggressively accused of ‘stealing
mainly because the “I once found several a route and
checking the
rubbish’ hasn’t diminished my belief that
the practice is right. It has reinforced
ones in my area are
locked behind high lobsters flown in fresh supermarket my belief that it’s worthwhile.”
fences, but I look closing times A spokeswoman for the Co-operative
for the food, which from Canada that day” I did began spoke to me about further problems,
is, reduced in price to question which arise from taking food that has
because of its age. whether the thrill, which comes from been disposed of in the bin.
“The sell-by date system should also this kind of illegal activity, is part of the “The Co-operative does not encourage
be challenged when applied to certain draw to the freegan lifestyle. freeganism, mainly because of the
products. I have been shocked to see I felt like I was planning a heist at a potential health risks posed by people
bags of perfect apples being taken off bank not a trip to the supermarkets bins, consuming products that may have gone
the shelves and wheeled off to become especially when well past their
landfill,” she said. I put together best-before or use-
In order to better understand freegans my kit bag which
“Look at that, typical by dates,” she said.
and their way of life and to investigate
these allegations of waste I decided to
compared to that
of a professional
student rummaging “The
operative
Co-
Group
try it out and made a trip to the local criminal, which through the bins. has strict
supermarkets under the cover of night. included a plastic guidelines in place
A few nights earlier when I did a rekey bag, gloves, torch, Bloody disgusting” for the disposal
trip to my local co-op all I found was camera and my of waste, and
empty packaging and plastic. This raises friend Clare and her ‘getaway’ car. disposal bins at our stores are fitted with
questions about the stores recycling There is a lot of confusion out there locks. However this does not always
policies but there was no evidence as to whether freegans are breaking the prevent the problem from occurring,
of wasted food, unless you count the law in the UK when they take food from and freeganism can also result in litter
pungent smell coming from the bins of supermarket bins. being scattered around which can be a
the next-door fishmongers. That rancid The definition of theft is dishonestly problem for local residents.”
stench left no question about whether taking property belonging to another However, on Freegan UK, a forum
they binned fresh food there. with the intention of permanently for freegans to post tips and advice, one
Ever the optimist, on my second depriving them of it. This is why of the recommendations is to leave the
attempt I made Waitrose the first freeganism is seen as a grey area. bins in a better state than you find them.
supermarket I visited with the promise The rubbish is classed as belonging to This is because littering doesn’t help the
of finding a ‘feast’ in the bins. I was
disappointed to find the bins were
enclosed behind large locked metal
gates with security cameras watching
over them. This was the case at Tesco’s,
Aldi, Spar, Netto, Sainsbury’s and Co-
op where in most cases the bins were
hidden inside the buildings and not even
visible.
I discovered that many of the larger
supermarkets have become savvy to
freegans and people raiding the bins so
most of the bigger chain shops now lock
their bins away behind locked gates.
I set my sights lower on the advice
of Alf who told me to keep it local and
I visited a local greengrocer expecting
to find a bin reaping the best fruit but
instead I found a council waste bin with
a locked lid.
As a last resort I visited my local
corner shop on route home. Their bin is
situated at the side of the store in clear
view of passersby and I felt sickeningly
embarrassed to be rifling through its
contents as my neighbours walked by.
I heard one man say, “Look at that,

38 fused
freeganism

environment, a prime motivation of a


freegan.
One of the creators of Freegan UK,
who asked me to call him JD, explained
the reasons behind their choice of
lifestyle and what they are trying to
achieve with the forum.
“When we make use of discarded
resources, we reduce the amount of
waste supermarkets need to pay to
transport to landfill or incineration
plants. As a result we reduce the
amount of methane that gets emitted
into the Earth’s atmosphere.
“Developing the site grew out of my
conviction that the practices and ideals
of the movement not only work, they’re
necessary for people to hear about,” he
said.
I asked JD what advice could be given
to people like me who are concerned
about getting in trouble with the police
and the legal repercussions if they are
caught.
He said, “Deep down, store managers,
police, and the rest of us, know that
stealing rubbish is not wrong, whilst
wasting valuable and limited resources
is very wrong. Therefore, have
confidence that even though there may
not be a law that currently supports
such practices as bin-raiding, there is a
higher law that very much does.”
As much as I agree with JD and the
principles behind freeganism and saving
the environment, the risk of being caught
or prosecuted is too high for me. When
I visited the bins the security cameras
worked as an effective deterrent for me
at the majority of stores as I am not
willing to face criminal charges because
of the conviction that waste is wrong.
Ghandi said ‘Be the change you want
to see in the world’ but stealing from
supermarket bins is not the only way to
make a difference.
Some local businesses have innovative of Sausages, roast potatoes and carrots against supermarkets it may be
ways of dealing with their waste and saw firsthand the good that can more effective to seek these kinds
that can be an inspiration to other come from ‘waste food’. of arrangements with stores so that
businesses. Beanies Why not try they can act as a role model for bigger
Organic Whole foods
and greengrocers
“Ghandi said, ‘Be the developing a supermarket chains. As for my future
relationship with as a freegan, I will continue to do my
in Crookesmoor, change that you want your local green part in combating supermarket waste,
Sheffield give their grocer so that you by raiding the supermarkets bargain
waste produce to to see in the world’” can take their baskets rather than their bins.
local farms for waste produce with
composting and to The Archer Project, permission. They may even welcome Words: imogen ChilD
a Sheffield Project to help homeless this kind of agreement because it will
people. Their kitchen uses the food in save them time and money if you sort Discuss freeganism and share your tips
their café, which is visited by homeless out their waste for them. on our forum at www.fused.co.uk
people daily. I joined them for a lunch Rather than taking extreme action

DIY
stores or smaller branches of is puffed up this is a sign that bleach water to kill of bacteria
bigger stores. bacteria is breeding inside the and germs.
3) Go once the store is product,. You shouldn’t eat it. 9) Leave the bins in the
closed as the staff will have left 6) Take gloves, there same state or a cleaner one
1) Freeganism is an and there is less chance of you may be broken glass or messy than you found them.
experimental process, it’s a case getting told off. food. 10) Don’t waste the
of trial and error. 4) Best before dates 7) Take a bag. You will waste, only take what you
2) Larger supermarkets and sell by dates often do not look odd walking away from a need.
have higher security reflect the natural life cycle of a closed supermarket with yours 11) If you’re not sure,
levels, bigger fences and product. full of carrots and sausages. don’t eat it.
often use compactors. 5) If the packaging on 8) Give plastic food 12) Spread the love, share what
Go for small/medium sized meat products or ready meals packaging a thin wipe with you take.

fused 39
Fused FOOD
Dish to Impress
June: Courgette Carbonara
This subtle twist on an old clasic is bound to stun the tastebuds this
month. Beautiful on a summers evening, and minimal effort required.
Oh goodie!

• Put a large saucepan of water on to boil.


• Half, then quater the courgettes lengthways.
• Get rid off the fluffy inner bits, then cut the pieces into shapes
roughly the same size as the penne.
• The water should be boiling, so add the penne.
• To make the carbonara, break the eggs into a mug and transfer
the yolks out into a bowl.
• Add the cream and half the parmesan, and mix with a fork. Shopping li
• Season with sprinkle of salt and pepper. s
• Heat the biggest frying pan you own, add some olive oil and fry 6 medium cour t
gettes
the bacon until crisp. 500g penne
• Add the courgette and a generous scattering of pepper. 4 large eggs
• Add some thyme leaves, mix together until the courgette is 100ml double
coated in a layer of the oil and begins to turn soft. crea
2 hearty hand m
• Pay attention: the next bit needs to be done at speed. Drain the fuls of parmes
olive oil an
pasta, leaving a little bit of the cooking water. Put the pasta
and cooking water into the pan with the courgette and bacon, 12 thick slice
s of
remove from the heat and add the creamy sauce. Stir quickly. bacon cut into streaky
No more cooking is needed, otherwise your eggs will scramble.
lardoons
fresh thyme
• Place into a large bowl, and dust with parmesan. EAT.

Treat of the Month


Because you’re probably worth it. Restaurant Review
Fancie Cupcakes on This month, sushi virgin Rachel and sushi
Sharrowvale Road in lover Alice review Yama Sushi on London Road, Sheffield.
Sheffield is the hub
of all things sweet Alice said: Rachel said:
and gooey. Head The plastic sushi and lucky gold If you’re a first timer I’d
down there to cats on the walls gave the place a recommend sticking to the maki
pick up the best kitch feel, which mixed well with and Nigiri dishes, rather than the
cupcake that will the modern Japanese style decor. raw fish on it’s own. And learn to
ever pass your The food was some of the best use chopsticks before you go! The
lips. We recommend Snickerlicious, a I’ve tasted and it was reasonably complimentary green tea was very
chocolate cupcake filled with caramel, priced. The toilets weren’t exactly refreshing and the friendlywaiting
piled high with peanut butter, chocolate the Ritz, but then we were on staff were more than happy to
frosting drizzled with yet more caramel. London Road. explain what I was about stuff my
Deeeelightful. face with.

The Fused Food Alice Rachel


quickie Special Dragon 10/10 9/10
This months waste-saving recipe: Gravy Role
• While making a roast, keep all the

vegetable cuttings and chuck them Raw Salmon 10/10 05/10
into a pan of water. Boil for the
entire time your meat is roasting.
• When your beef is succulent, pour Raw Prawn 05/10 0/10
your vegetable cuttings through a
strainer, keeping the liquid they’ve Chicken Curry 10/10 10/10
been boiling in.
• Mix with the meat juices to make
scrumptious gravy. Salmon Tamaki 10/10 09/10
• Veggies, just mix the water with
your vegetable gravy granules of
choice. Miso Soup 05/10 10/10
See www.fused.co.uk for more recipes

40 fused
section

fused 41
Roller derby

Fused investigates

Strap on your skates for a ride like no other as Fused


takes you into the world of Roller Derby - the UK’s fastest
and most dangerous all girl contact sport

O
ne-coat magnolia reflecting from its chipped vanish. the Sheffield Steel Roller Girls
emulsion is plastered on The air is moist with sweat, animated nervously prepare to take to the track.
the four walls of the old by the sound of girlish chatter as In the two years since the team came
sports hall. Coloured bean together, this is only their third match.
bags that bring back memories But then Roller Derby has existed in
of primary school are placed the UK for only four years, and before
strategically across the they could play a match the girls had to
floor, marking the edges of learn to skate.
the track. Shallow dents “I used to skate on in-lines when I
made by vicious wheels was younger, but it took me a while
scar the pine floor, white to get used to being on four wheels
florescent again,” Sheena ‘Warrior Princess’ says,
light spinning round on one foot.
“Six months ago I could barely stand
up, but now look at me.”
The Sheffield girls are two points
down as they go into their last jam
against Leeds Roller Dolls. But no one
seems to be counting, they just look
happy to be alive.
The whistle blows and they’re off.
Four girls from each team hit the track
running, well, skating. They whiz
round the makeshift track, pressing
bare arms against one another, skin on
skin, grappling for prime position like a
pack of hungry dogs.
The second whistle blows and
another two girls join the game, one

42 fused
Roller derby

Is blood the new pink?


for each team. The red stars on their outfits, each team member must choose by contrast, the SSR girls seem fairly,
helmets denote their key position. They a unique roller derby name and check it well, ordinary.
are the jammers, the point scorers. against a global roster to make sure no- There’s a dental nurse, a science
The rest of the pack begin to jostle one else in the world already has it. teacher, an electrical engineer, an
one another. One girl rams her “Most of the proper good names have IT worker, a lab technician, a social
shoulder into another girl’s back and gone now, ‘cause roller derby has been worker, a landscape architect, a shop
she loses control, hitting the wall with going in the states for years,” Eleanor manager, and a full time mum.
the side of her face. That’ll hurt in the ‘Nicky Fury’ Coppard says. “My seven- Just as they’re about to head to
morning. year-old son chose the pub, Matt
The pack obliterates one another, my name. “Roller derby allows ‘Penalty’ Davis, the
picking off the opposition one by one. “He’s obsessed referee, joins the
Their aim is to block the other team’s with superheroes me to combine the girls who gather
jammer from overtaking the pack and and his favourite round him like a
scoring a point. is Nick Fury in the things I love - skating, gaggle of geese.
But jammers are fast, expertly Marvel comics.” Emma pinches his
dodging the blockers as they fly out in The names allow refereeing and bum and giggles,
front of them like fawns crossing a busy the girls to take running off when he
road. on a character, keeping lots of reckless tries to do the same
Two minutes after the first blast, the developing an alter- girls under control” back.
final whistle sounds. The girls laugh ego that only comes Mixed teams are
and hug as they leave the temporary out when the skates not allowed in roller
insanity of the track. They sit in close are on. Some are a play on famous derby so boys usually take up the role
circles on the floor comparing bruises. names like Marianne Faithkill and Eva of referee. As the only male in the room,
“God, you really whacked me there, Von Gorier. Matt is in his element.
bitch,” Sheena ‘Warrior Princess’ But the fantasy doesn’t end there. “I used to play and referee ice hockey
Smart, the Sheffield team’s social Roller derby allows the girls to develop until an injury sidelined me a couple of
secretary laughs. their personality too. years back. Roller derby allows me
The bruise, which covers half her “I’ve gained so much from playing
thigh, looks like a purple map of Africa. roller derby,” Emily says. “When I first
Emily ‘Rabid Kitten’ Cheetham, joined the team I was really shy.
who slammed face “I never used to
first into a wall
during the game is
“The bruise, which dance when I went
out because I didn’t
grinning from ear covers half her thigh, like people looking
to ear, still high on at me. Now I’m
adrenaline. looks like a purple map always the first on
The casualty the dancefloor,” she
list so far reads: of Africa“ grins.
dislocated Eleanor chimes
shoulder, fractured coccyx, split chin, in: “Yeah, there’s no way I would have
black eye, broken leg, twisted knee, worn sequined hot pants in front of
bruises, scratches, broken fingers and a a crowd before I joined the Sheffield
fractured elbow. Girls have even passed Roller Girls.”
out during a game. The girls practice together twice a
“We’ve gotten off quite lightly today,” week at Graves Leisure Centre. It’s
Sheena says, rolling stripy sock back up clear they’re close on and off the track.
over fleshy purple thigh. “I’ve made so many new friends
“The worst I ever saw was when Miss here,” Emma ‘Deadly Nighshade’ King
Treats from the Leeds Roller Dolls says. “We’re like a family.
broke her ankle. It looked like it had “I finally feel I’ve found my
snapped in half and it was dangling at kindred spirits, likeminded
such a horrid angle. It almost put me women who can kick each others
off skating.” ass on the track, then be best
Anne ‘Mia Malice’ Tetley says: “There friends off it,” she says.
are risks in every sport though and Anne: “Yeah after a match
there’s the same risk in running up all I want to do is go to the
and down the stairs or tripping over pub and have a good laugh
something in your everyday life. with the girls I’ve just tried
“If I’m going to get injured, I’d rather to slam into a wall.”
it be through playing roller derby.” When they’re not kicking
The girls’ talk is brave. They wear ass, they can usually be
their battle scars like medals. found sinking Sailor
“After a bout I can’t wait to show my Jerrys and coke at
bruises off to my work colleagues. They Bungalows and Bears
think I’m mad,’ Anne says tearing the in Sheffield.
edge of her nail off with her teeth. The media may
I almost expect her to say ‘the first depict Roller Derby as
rule of Fight Club is don’t talk about an angry sport played
Fight Club’. by tattooed women
Along with their risqué customised in fishnet tights, but

fused 43
Roller Derby

to combine the things I love, skating,


refereeing and keeping lots of reckless
girls under control,” he grins.
“The camaraderie among the refs and
the girls is amazing; I have never been
cheered as a referee in any other sport.”
Matt is a self-taught roller derby ref,
but soon anyone wanting to referee
official games will have to pass a series
of assessments set out by the European
Roller Derby Officials Society.
“To any guys out there thinking
of getting involved,” Matt says, “be
prepared to hear language that would
make Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown blush
coming from the mouths of petite young
women.”
“Come on clunge boy!” Emma says
flicking his ear playfully, beckoning
him to join the rest of the team.
“See,” he grins, running to catch up
with them.

WORDS: ALICE CARDER

To join the SSRG visit


www.sheffieldsteelrollergirls.co.uk
For Leeds see
www.leedsrollerdolls.co.uk

Dot Rotten
Laura ‘Dot Rotten’ Omand, 23, a
dental nurse from Leeds, has
been a member of the Leeds
Roller Dolls for two years
“I first heard about roller derby when I My mouth was dry with nerves as I eyed
met Lauren, a.k.a. ‘Vandal Liza’, one up the competition. Some of the opposing
of the other girls from the team, blockers looked much tougher than me.
at a Punk Society gig at Leeds Uni. The whistle blew and I dashed onto the
She was probably the most confident track, trying my best to stay close to the
person I’d ever met and we hit it off team for support.
straight away “The first match was over before I
“She invited me along to a Sunday knew it. I must have been pretty high on
morning practice and I went along, slightly adrenaline though because I didn’t notice
worse for wear from the night before. the huge purple bruise on my hip until I
I spent most of the first practice just took a shower that evening.
trying to stay upright on my skates, I was “My boyfriend was the first to notice
wobbling all over the place. At one point the bruises. He was shocked and
I bashed straight into the back of one of couldn’t understand why I wanted to do
the other girls, but she just laughed and something which harmed my body. I tried
helped me onto my feet. ‘Don’t worry,’ to explain to him that it’s the thrill of the
she said, ‘You’ll be doing that to me on game and the risk involved that are part of
purpose soon.’ why I enjoy it, but he didn’t understand.
“After my first practice I was We broke up a month later.
exhausted. My body ached from “When I think back to that first practice
head to toe, but I felt satisfied, like I’d I realise how much I’ve changed. I used
achieved something to care a lot about what people thought
Afterwards I went for drinks with the about me and I never really felt like I fitted
team. They were so much fun to be in anywhere. Now I don’t care. I can go up
around and I realised I couldn’t wait to people in bars and start a conversation
until the next practice when I’d see without a second thought. I’m much fitter
them again. now too. My arms and legs are more
“It took two months of intense defined and I’ve begun to actually like the
practice, but soon I was ready to take part way I look. I feel like I can finally be myself, I
in a team jam. My knees shook as I put on even dyed my hair pink last weekend.”
my boots.

44 fused
section

fused 45
section

46 fused
Street Style

20
Kate Cooper,
g, 23
Dengqiu Zhen Studen t
p - Vintage sh
op
ggor, 20 Jacket and to utfitters
Eilidh McGre St ud en t
Perry O
anon, 22 T-shirt - Fred Skirt - Urban p
Lewis Kuyyak model Student ra ho
Hairdes se r an d OS
Jumpsuit - AS in Venice Trousers - Za Pumps - Tops arne Cotton
ds Fe
Ja ck et - To pm an Jacket - M ar ke t Shoes - Harro t Horne Inspiration -
FC U K H & M at io n - Mat

LEEDS
Trouse rs - Shoe s - In sp ir
ints Alexa Chung
T- sh ir t - Al l Sa Inspiration -
Individuality
Inspiration -

Elle Robert
s, 21
Student Becky Male
T-shirt - Ne ham, 19
w Gap Year
Belt - Mum Look Dress - Ark
Holly Broa
dban, 15
s Student Mark Lesse
Scarf - Pra Cardy - Oa ls
gu
Inspiration e sis Scarf - Prin
cp Tennis coa , 22
- Avril Lav ig
ne
Bracelet -
Selfridges T-shirt - Re les Trainers - N
ch
Inspiration public ik
- Lily Allen Trousers - Jumper - To e ID

SHEFFIELD
To
Inspiration pshop p
Shorts - To man
- All Saints pman
Inspiration
- Me

fused 47
Street Style

Georgia Ba
rker, 17
Waitress Toby Acres,
1
Jeans - Top
shop Student an 9 Steph Ellor,
Top - Ark d guitarist 19
T-shirt - To Student
Headband pman Melody Cu
-H Jeans - H& rate
Inspiration &M Sunglasses
M T-shirt - Ch
arity shop Customer se , 38
- Fearne C - Belt - Mum rv ices
otton Inspiration Ray Ban Jacket - Do
s Jumpsuit -
Primark
- Music ro Jacket - Ch
Inspiration thy Perkins a

HULL
- The 80’s Shoes - Do rity shop
rothy Perk
Inspiration ins
- Lady Gaga

, 25
emante
Celise D pher
a
ig htingale
,18 Photogr - Handmade
Jam e s N k la c e
nt Nec ize
4 F a s h io n stude Warehouse a g - A ccessor shop
s o n , 2 a n a n a B a r it y
it
Tom Ch ssistant - B o d Ch art
a Cravat ienne Westwo Boots - n - music and
io n Viv o p t io
ing, 21 Fash
- Diesel
ag -
tion B ousers - Charit Horrors
y sh Inspira
Zizzi Ch erapist T-shirt rench Connec Tr - T h e
th ion

YORK
Beauty oc Martin F
D Jeans - ffice Inspirat
Boots - o o t s - O Wa n
intage B k
V ion - Go
Sk ir t -
M ood Inspirat
Top - H & ’ Westw
s p ir a t ion - Viv
In

48 fused
section

fused 49
fashion

‘Your
The
Challenge
trashis
treasu
I have £5 to find as much
treasure as I can at each
car boot sale. I can haggle,
persuade and flirt to get what
I want but I can’t go over the
cash limit and I can’t leave

£1
until I find something worth
buying. My purchases must
be something that I genuinally
want and would pay full price

a l e
for and I have to make an outfit
to challenge any high street
shop.

r B o o t S
g l e y C a
Bin Location – Bingley Auction Market, next to the town
centre in Bingley, West Yorkshire
Regularity – Every Sunday throughout the year
Opening Time – 7.30am for buyers and sellers.
Seller Pitch fee: £9
Buyer entry fee: £1

Y
ou have to get up early if you want to shorts for £1.50, which
find a bargain at Bingley Car Boot. were the same as I pair I
Buyers will turn up from 7.30am and if have been coveting from a friend recently.
you’re not quick all of the good stuff will I made my way inside the cattle market and stopped
be gone - as I discovered when I arrived at 9am at the bakery stall. The seller, who is there every
week, tells me her son owns a bakery in Skipton. I
and many of the stalls were already half empty.
With my £5 budget and a shopping bag in hand I wander around the other inside stalls eating my pain
£2
made my way inside, paying the lady the £1 entry fee. au chocolat from Skipton and then decide to do a final
Professional antiques dealers who trade at car route of the outdoor stalls.
boots all across Yorkshire ran the first stall I went At the last stall I visit there is a stack of frames,
to. The seller, whose hands were endowed with silver which I flip through as the sellers pack their unsold
jewellery, was quick to point out the many treasures items back into the car. I find an Andy Warhol of
on his stall. Firstly an Edwardian doll from France Marilyn Monroe. “How much?” I ask. “You can take
with a pale blue petticoat and rosy cheeks and then it for a pound, we don’t want to have to take it back
an acoustic guitar. I declined telling him that I didn’t home,” they said. Bargain. One last trip round is
play guitar. “You don’t play, well you can learn,” he always worth it. Sellers will usually knock half the
said. “Tell you what, I will give you it for £15, what do price off to save them having
you say?” to cart all their junk home.
I thanked him but declined and carried on to the One mans rubbish is another
next stall where a Muslim man handed me a free man’s treasure and I
Qu’ran. “Let’s hope it rains tomorrow so you have time leave at 10.30am feeling
to give it a read,” he said. like I have had a very
I wandered around the rest of the outdoor stalls and successful morning.
found two colourful summer dresses for 50p each, a
further floral dress for £1 and a pair of high wasted

FUSED Rating ****


Bargains - Three dresses, one pair of denim shorts, one art print, one
pain au chocolat and free Islamic literature. £2
Total Cost - £5.50
words: imogen child

50 fused
fashion

o o t S a l e
B
hs my l e y C a r
O t

ure’ £1
Other Car
Boots In
£1

W
hen I arrive at Otley seller offers me it for a £1. I decline Yorkshire
Location - Wharfedale Car Boot later that the offer of a painting for 50p and
Farmers Auction Mart, afternoon I am instead buy a retro blue and white
Leeds Road, Otley, •Barnsley Car Boot
surprised to see a t-shirt, intending to cut out the Sale - Barnsley Markey
Regularity - every Sun- queue of eager buyers extending shoulder pads once I get home.
day from the February Place, Barnsley Town
up the street away from the cattle At the next stall I find hand crafted Centre. Every Sunday,
1st to the November market. wooden dolls furniture and I pick up a
31st. start time 6.30am.
This car boot is better suited for washing machine, a rocking chair and
Seller Start Time – people who like their Sunday lie in a lamp for £1. When I explain that it is
10.30am as the gates don’t open until 12am, for my two-year-old niece’s dollhouse
Buyer start time – •Craven Car Boot
although I find out that if I turn up an the seller throws in a small wooden Sale - Craven Football
12.00 hour early I can get in for a £5 fee. telephone for free and asks to make
Seller Pitch Fee: £10 a Stadium, Preston Road
I pay the 80p entrance fee and sure my neice doesn’t eat it. I assure in Hull. Every Sunday,
car, £12 a van make my way over to the jewellery her I will do my best and wander back
Buyer entrance fee- start time 7.30am.
stall next to the entrance, as eager as to an earlier stall to take a closer look
80p a magpie. Unfortunately everything at a bag with a Hermes label.
costs more than my £5 limit but I am I expect the bag to be a fake but •Leeds and Bradford
very tempted by a 1960’s silver locket. the seller has already Car Boot Sale - Green
Although the man offers to shave £5 sold it so I never Gate farm on Old
off for me I am still £20 down so I buy legitimate my Otley Road near the
a china bone brooch with a peacock suspicions. I make airport, Horsforth.
design for £2. my way home Every Sunday
This car boot is bigger than Bingley with my treasures, between March and
car boot, although it appears small hoping that when October from 6.30am.
from the entrance because the I return next week
majority of stalls are hidden round the silver locket will
the corner behind the cattle market. still be here so that I •Strawberry Fields Car
Unlike Bingley there are no indoor can haggle the price Boot Sale - Kingsgate
stalls here but there is a toilet, which down further. in Bridlington. Every
looks much more inviting than Sunday between April
Bingley’s. and October from
A stall with unusual looking 8.30am.
paintings catches my eye. I spy
an old brown faded
leather jacket
amongst the strange
assortment of retro
FUSED Rating ***** •Catchpenny Car
Boot Sale - Hemsworth
Lane in Fitzwilliam,
clothing and I am Pontefract. Every
surprised when the Bargains - one leather coat, one retro
Sunday from 6.00am.
t-shirt, one china bone brooch, a doll-sized
washing machine, rocking chair and lamp. £2
Total Cost - £4*, plus a free doll sized •Morley Rugby
Final price wooden telephone. Football Club Car
Boot Sale - Scratcherd
£2.50 * I actually spent £5 but I later found a £1
Lane in Morley. Every
Sunday from May to
coin in the pocket of the leather September from 8am.
jacket, so it paid for itself.

fused 51
fashion

Swap Till Y
FR
E E

It’s Britain’s favourite


fashion craze, but what
really goes on at a
clothes swapping party?
S
o there I am, wearing for the swap I wonder whether
nothing but my bra and anyone will even want my faded sky- Vanessa
knickers, standing in the blue jersey or camouflage stilettos. Wears:
living room of a girl I barely Realising though, that ‘one woman’s Alison’s
know. Staring up at me are six trash is another woman’s treasure’, I pink scarf
girls, all grinning with anticipation. chuck in a 70s style denim belt skirt
A full length mirror sits propped which barely hides my bum cheeks. A
(Free), Cas-
against the wall opposite, reflecting throw back from the days of under-18 sie’s black
my semi-naked body. club nights, Nike puffa jackets pencil skirt
No, this is not a lesbian orgy, or a WI and wearing my hair in luminous (Free),
meeting gone horribly wrong. This, my scrunchies, it’s sure to get a few Rita’s red
friend, is my first ever clothes swap. laughs. I cringe as I think how tiny I pork pie hat
Swishing, swaging, schwopping - must have been to wear such a short (Free).
whatever you choose to call it, clothes skirt, not to mention how shameless.
swapping has taken fashion fans by Looking at my offerings I realise
storm over the past few years. just how hard it is to find clothes I
Type in ‘swishing’ on Google today can give away. There are still items
and you get 378,000 results including hanging up that I haven’t worn in
thousands of online clothes swapping over four years – a lacy Basque from
sites, tips on how to host your own Kookai I wore to my sixth-form prom,
clothes swap and one story of two women a floral summer dress I know I’ll never
in London who came to get these pizza loving
blows over a pair of bright “No, this is not hips into again and my
orange, feathered mules. first ever designer item,
Methinks the wine they’d a lesbian orgy” a Miss Sixty vest top
drunk may have impaired I got on my thirteenth
their eyesight somewhat. birthday. Although I know I’ll never
Twiggy’s Frock Exchange helped to wear these items again, I also know bringing much of value as we sit down
popularise the trend further when it I could never bear to part with them. in a circle, placing our bags in front of
went out on BBC2 back in 2008. They’re not just clothes: they’re the us ready to swap. Everyone seems as
And with the recession still hanging boyfriends I’ve kissed, the parties I’ve worried as me that no-one will actually
in the air like cheap perfume it appears danced at, the sights I’ve seen and the want their old cast offs.
swishing is here to stay. So when I was friends I’ve laughed with. Just as I’m loosing faith in the ‘trash
invited to a clothes swapping party in As I stand in my host Cassie’s living is treasure’ theory, Ella, a tall thin girl
Sheffield I jumped at the chance to find room, meeting the other swappers and with ginger hair, pulls out a beautiful
out what swishing is really like. sipping wine nervously, I find myself LBD with dogtooth detail down both
As I sift through eyeing up their outfits trying to guess sides.
the good, the bad what they have brought to the party. “Ooh, I love it!” I squeak.
and the ugly in Unfortunately we don’t appear to have Nobody else expresses an interest so I
my overgrown much in common in the fashion stakes decide to try it on.
wardrobe and I begin to doubt I’ll be going home ‘Try it on here,” Cassie says as I’m
p a c k i n g with anything I actually like, nor do I heading for the door. “We’re all girls - as
i t e m s think anything I’ve brought with me long as you’re wearing underwear?
destined will get their swapdar going. “Last time Emma came she didn’t
It seems some of the other girls have have any knickers on! I almost sent out
had a tough time finding items they’re an email tonight reminding everyone to
happy to part with too. wear underwear.”
“I started off with a huge pile As I begin to unpeel my skinny jeans
FREE of clothes before I came out
tonight, but then I thought
from my thighs I can’t help feeling like
I’m being initiated into the clothes swap
ooh I’ll just try them on one last covenant.
time and ended up keeping half Before long we’ve all striped down
of them,” a pink dreadlocked girl to our underwear and are giggling as
called Emily says. we try on each other’s clothes. Nobody
Some of the girls apologise for not seems self-conscious as we bare all in

52 fused
fashion

You Drop
the warmth of the open fire, The Beatles group.
crooning ‘Can’t Buy Me Love’ from the It’s my turn to show my items to the
stereo in the corner. group and I’m starting to worry about
The dogtooth LBD fits perfectly - it’s
just what I need for the interview I have
the clothes in my bag and whether or not
I’ll be able to let them go in a dignified
Want to hold
coming up on Monday. I keep it on for a
bit, just to show Ella how much I love
way, resisting the temptation to scream
‘I’ve changed my mind! Give it back you
your own
it, before folding it away carefully in my
swag bag.
cow!’ before turning on my kitten heel
and running from the party.
clothes swap
Despite my initial doubts there is
something I like in each girl’s stash. I try
Cassie tries on my first item, a navy
blue army dress. It’s too small and
party?
there’s a moment when it looks like it’ll
be heading to the charity shop.
Here’s how:
I glance at the other girls hoping
one of them will give it a chance. I’m
suddenly aware that I would much
The Rules
s- rather the dress find a new home with •Everyone must bring at least one
one of these girls, than risk it lying in item to swap. The items must be
some moth ball ridden charity shop
t storage hole waiting to be loved again.
clean and in a good condition (i.e.
no holes or stains).
“I’ll try it,” Rita says. •Each person takes their turn to
I see my clothes as an extension of show what they have brought to the
at me. Giving them away is a very alien group
Cassie concept to me, I never even lend them •When someone likes an item they
Wears: out, I mean you wouldn’t just casually must express their interest to the
Emily’s lend someone your right leg would you. owner
But as I watch Rita admiring herself in
over-sized my dress I actually feel happy knowing
•If only one person likes the item
T-shirt it will be worn not just kept.
they can try it on and keep it if they
want to. If they don’t the item must
(Free), I get a little round of applause from be placed in a pile to be sent to
Rita’s the other girls when I’m finished charity
black thigh ‘sharing’ and for a second I feel like I’m •If more than one person expresses
high boots at a shopaholics anonymous meeting an interest in the item each person
(Free). at The Priory. must try the item on and decide who
I’ve done pretty well all in all; looks best in it, or who wants it most.
I’m going home with a dress for my NB: bribes may also be used
interview, an oversized black woolly
scarf, a 60’s style summer dress and a
pair of MUI MUI stilettos that need re- What you need
on a bright floral halter-neck summer heeling, but are definitely worth it.
dress, a pair of black skinny jeans I’m also relieved that all but one •Friends - It helps if they have the
(which I can’t even get over my knees), a of my items now have new homes. same taste in clothes as you. If not
black pencil skirt and an orange hoodie Unsurprisingly my shameless denim belt you might find yourself horrified by
which makes me look like Kenny from skirt – despite having the girls in fits of the charity shop rejects pilling up on
South Park. giggles as they each tried it on – now lies your living room floor
Despite my self-criticism, it feels like on the reject pile, its cocky teenage ego •Clothes! - Kind of goes without
I’m in a changing room cubicle with six deflated by ridicule. My only consolation saying
of my best mates all saying how hot I is the image I have of the Help The Aged •A full length mirror – So you can
look in everything. ladies pulling it out of the bin bag trying see how hot you look in your FREE
As I return the to decipher just new clothes!
compliment telling how it is meant
Vanessa how much “Acceptance, happiness, to be worn.
•Music – Creating the perfect atmos-
phere for your swapping party is a
she suits Alison’s body confidence and It’s really no must. Go for something that makes
pink scarf, she turns exaggeration you feel happy and energetic to keep
and says “I love these wardrobe cleansing can when I say you swapping late into the night
parties, you spend all c l o t h e s •Bin bags – It’s not likely that all
night being told how all be achieved” s w a p p i n g the clothes will find a new home.
great you look!” parties like this That Boyzone t-shirt you’ve worn to
My thoughts exactly. one are therapy for the female soul. bed for the last ten years may not
“That’s it” Alison says, turning her Acceptance, happiness, body confidence seem so appealing to anyone else.
bag upside down to show she’s finished and wardrobe cleansing can all be Unwanted items can be bagged up
her turn. Most of her items have been achieved as you bond with your fellow and sent to a charity shop
nabbed by the other girls, only a vest swishers - not to mention the new FREE
top sporting the catch line ‘all dressed clothes you’ll bag! See www.fused.co.uk/swap for
up with nowhere to go’ lies unwanted clothes swaps near you
on the charity pile in the middle of the WORDS: ALICE CARDER

fused 53
section

54 fused
FuseD
section

O N T H
T H E M
AN O F
M

CASPER

T
he night his best friend died spray painting his initials on vandalised
changed everything. Shot benches when he got the call. Ibrahim
in the head by rival drug was dead. And the shock waves from
dealers, that gangland bullet
Ibrahim was 20 “I was messing about took Casper off the
years old. He street. Four years on,
had been selling then, doing illegal now 21, the man’s an
on their turf, a inspiration.
harmless crime
graffiti and making “I wish it hadn’t
to some, a death
threat to others.
money out of drugs” taken that to change
me. I was messing
His life had barely begun. about then, doing a lot of illegal graffiti,
June 24th was a dark night. Casper, making money out of drug money,”
aged 17, had been hanging out in a Casper confessed.
Burngreave park, drinking cans of Stella, “I was making good money as well.

fused 55
real life

But it’s not worth it. It was their area Casper teaches them to paint on “There’s a lot of kids who are very
you see. He was dealing in their area legal graffiti walls, organises trainers stressed and they are losing sleep over
and they didn’t like it. It’s so stupid.” and T shirt customising workshops stuff, out in the cold selling little smelly
Casper has dedicated his life to helping and brings artists in to chat to them. bags of weed or whatever for someone
young people from underprivileged Another member, Nathan, teaches them who’s benefiting far along the chain, it’s
background keep out of trouble and to break-dance and organises dance not right, doing all this just for a bit of
make something of their lives. Last battles, and another teaches them to money.”
year he set up Breakout Kids, a team write raps and MC. Casper helps to give kids opportunities
of youth workers who work with kids When I spoke to kids from Winn to learn skills they would never have learnt
from Sheffield’s Gardens, one themselves, a n d
council estates, of Sheffield’s
giving them
“They’re all driving round h a r d e s t
something to do
with the hope of
in BMWs and I’ve got my c o u n c i l
estates, they
deterring them Vauxhall Corsa, but I’m not said they were
from a life of bored and had
crime. sleeping with my shoes on” nothing to
“We’ve got do except sit
like street cred, ‘cos the kids know I on their “fronts” all day, smoking, and
come from a street background they nicking cans from their parents.
respect me. It’s all about respect.” Too young to be involved in crime,
He appeals to them through urban a couple of them had older siblings
arts such as break dancing, graffiti and involved. They wouldn’t speak
music. He said most kids only get into directly about them but said they
crime because of boredom. did it to pay for their cars. Walking
“Whenever I hung about on my own round Winn Gardens, the contrast
and didn’t do dodgy stuff I was a bit between pimped out Mercs with
bored and I had no one to hang about blacked out windows and sub speakers,
with. I’d go around the corner and parked in front of seven-tier crumbling encourages
hang about with everybody else and council homes was surprising. t h e m to develop
everybody else in my area was into that “It was mostly temptation of money,” ambitions to earn their own
sort of thing.” Capser reflected on his teenage years. legal money as he has done.
Breakout Kids travel Sheffield council “I’ve still got friends who are into it Occasionally he takes them into the
estates and deprived areas, where the now and they’re all driving round in recording studios of Niche nightclub to
young people have little in their lives to BMWs and I’ve got my Vauxhall Corsa, work with its DJs and record a CD they
inspire them. but I’m not sleeping with my shoes on. can take home with them. In May he

Below: Casper standing in front of a graffiti caricature of myself. Above: mobile youth club van ‘Monster’

Find out more about Break Out


Kids at www.breakoutkids.viviti.
com

“Some of the kids


could go to prison
for the things they
tell me”

56 fused
real life

took some of them to Leeds to perform


in a break-dance show case, and he
is getting all of them involved in a big
urban arts showcase at Sheffield’s
As a special treat,
Tramlines festival. FusED cornered
Casper calls his work “detached youth
work”, where he subtly teaches the kids former Downing
about morals and manners, under the
guise of the workshops. He hopes that Street resident
by taking something away that they Cherie Blair!
have made they may also take away the
lessons he taught them.
Casper works with troubled kids in
specialist groups alongside the Cherie chaired the Channel 4 Street Weapons Commission in 2008 and
youth offending services. He toured the country speaking to people involved in the prevention of
knows those involved in crime, crime. We tracked her down to ask her opinion on Breakout Kids.
and those swept up in the gang “I’ve seen a number of things like this in different parts of the country. Sometimes
scene. But everything they it’s the arts, sometimes its sport, to give kids an alternative way out of crime. Often
tell him he keeps confidential. you know street crime and gangs , form because the kids do get a sense of unity,
“Some of them could go to a sense of belonging and a sense of worth from it and if we can give them that
prison for the things they’ve community and that sense of belonging and sense of worth from doing things
told me, he said. “But it is not other than antisocial behaviour then that’s fantastic.
my job to go the police. So do you think offering them urban arts, is what encourages them to
“If we find out a kid is in stay with the project?
trouble and people want to I think that helps. Music or visual arts, speak to us in a way that other things just
hurt him we move him from the don’t. You need to have something that appeals to young people who feel they
area, take him to a park the other side are a lot more sophisticated and the edgy urban stuff can do that.
of the city.” Do you think targeting kids is the best way to prevent crime?
Young people often get involved in I think it was Hilary Clinton who said the phrase ‘It takes a village to bring up a
gangs because they are lonely or scared, child’. Obviously all of us,first of all learn about society, grow, develop in our families
Casper told me. Gangs tempt them in but our families are not sort of isolated units they are part of a wider community
with promises of brotherhood, cash and and the question is to give our kids the message that they do belong to a wider
security. community which has both rights and responsibilities and that’s where helping kids
He knows all about the local gang develop in a positive way is part of our commitment to each other.
scene and its goings on, thanks to a good Do you think Breakout Kids will have a lasting effect on these kids?
relationship with the police. He knows Who knows, but I’m convinced as a parent myself, the more foundation you give
which kids to look out for and which of your children, you can’t guarantee whatever happens to them and life bring up
them that may need protection. and downs but the best advice I can give them is the more security and foundation
“Once you are in it is very hard to get you give them at the start the more likely they are to be part of a community.
out,” Casper said solemnly. “We once May it work on people who have already been involved in crime?
. had to move a kid to a different city, I think that for most young people, there’s still plenty of chances to turn them away
away from his life and family, give him a from crime. We shouldn’t give up the trying to divert them from crime.
completely new start. He was in a lot of
trouble. He had no other choice. It was
the only way he could get out.”
However, not all the work he does is Watch Cherie Blair’s documentaries at
so serious.
Casper has started a mobile youth Channel4.com
club in an old caravan which he painted
to look like a big green monster. Every
Saturday he parks ‘Tagatron’ outside
the town hall and runs workshops for all white T-shirts. But despite his discouraging start,
types of kids under 16 in town. “It’s great int it? I love it,” Beth’s overly- Casper has really made something of
“There’s CDJs and vinyl decks, there’s enthusiastic friend Danielle, 15, from himself.
a whole DJ set up there. We’ve got Westfield chirps. “There’s something for His story alone inspires so many
onboard speakers, we’ve got lights that everyone to do. It’s amazing. We need kids and his work really helps to make
changes all around the van. A seating stuff like this in Westfield. a difference in their lives, yet he is so
area’s been put in, there’s tonnes of “In Westfield all everyone does is hang humble. He knows that he did wrong in
storage place to about on streets, the past and sees youth work as a way
run workshops.”
Stepping inside
“Gangs tempt young drinking, smoking, of paying society back for his mistakes.
graffitying on shop Casper claims he is proof that no
the van is like people in with promises walls.” matter what you have done, you can
stepping into The other kids turn your life around.
an alternate of brotherhood, cash are equally keen. If a project like Breakout Kids
universe, the “Casper’s cool, had been around earlier then maybe
contrast of the and security” he helped me do Ibrahim would have been in a youth
sunny shoppers this,” Danielle’s club learning to spin on his head instead
minding their own business to hectic 12-year-old brother, Lewis, said, of getting shot in his head. Let’s hope
noise and activity inside the graffiti pointing proudly to his paint-stained Casper’s Breakout Kids can save lives
covered walls is surreal. T shirt, supposedly saying his name in by rival dancing, not dealing.
As I enter, 16-year-old Beth from graffiti text.
Wincobank is on the mic, rapping along Casper grew up in Burngreave, an Words: RACHEL INGRAM
to a bassline song, a young boy is playing area in Sheffield known for poverty,
X Box and another tries to DJ, badly. crime and gangs, made famous after two Watch a video of our full interview with
Outside on make-shift tables Casper teenagers were shot in the area in 2007 Casper at www.fused.co.uk
is helping kids spray paint designs on and 2008.

fused 57
politics

Best of
After an indecisive General Election result,
Britain is being run by a coalition government.
But are two heads better than one?

T
he people have spoken. And you about £750 a year)
what have they said? They Whatever your marital status, Council
don’t like Labour, that’s for Tax won’t be going up for at least a year,
sure. They like the look of and maybe longer. The government will
the Tories, but not that much. And also consider letting first-time buyers
they love the Lib Dems – just not get a more expensive house without
enough to actually vote for them. having to pay Stamp Duty (the tax you
Of course that’s all exaggerated pay for the paperwork when buying a
but in the end not enough people house) – At the moment you can only
were convinced by David “call me avoid Stamp Duty when you buy a
Dave” Cameron’s rebranding of the house that costs less than £125,000, so
Conservative Party. No party ended up if you have the cash lying around and
with more than half of the seats in the want to buy a quarter of a million pound
House of Commons. No one won. No one property for your first house, this could
could claim the right to govern alone. benefit you. But be warned, this might
So now we have a coalition not happen.
government, made up of two parties If you’re a fan of maxing out credit
– the Conservatives and the Liberal cards, regulators will be able to clamp
Democrats. down on ridiculous interest rates and
But with coalitions come compromise. force companies to be more honest
The Lib Dems and the Tories have both about the deals they offer. They’ll also
had to sacrifice some of their manifesto be restricting bank charges on things
pledges to please the other. So even like overdrafts, and making things more
though the majority of British people difficult for hard nut bailiffs. And you’ll
now have a voice in government, it be able to rack up £25k of debt without
doesn’t sound much like what they voted putting your house at risk. Probably
for. best not to though. Unless you want to
Fused though, isn’t a party-political go to university.
magazine. We’re not fussed which party
has sold out to who, as long as we get a
good deal at the end of it. So what will Fun and games
the coalition do for us?
Cheap booze is on the way out.
Traders won’t be able to sell you alcohol
Money in your pocket at a price lower than what they (should
have) paid for it. The coalition will also
One Lib Dem pledge that’s survived consider raising alcohol tax “to ensure it
the negotiations is their promise to let tackles binge drinking without unfairly
us all earn £10k a year without paying penalising responsible drinkers, pubs
any income tax on it. So even if you earn and important local industries”. Yeah,
£10,001, you’ll only be taxed on that last we can’t figure out how that one will
quid. work either.
The coalition has also said that at If legal highs are your thing, beware.
their first Budget in April, they’ll allow If a drug sparks a health scare like
people on low and middle incomes to the newly-illegalised mephedrone did,
earn even more cash tax free. (though the government will be able to ban
they’ve not said how much). it temporarily while they work out
However, they’ve kept the last whether or not it’s going to kill anyone.
government’s pledge to make employees Police will also be using ‘drugalysers’
pay more National Insurance, even to test drivers who they think might be
though they won’t be making businesses high.
pay any extra. So you won’t be taxed If your spare time tends to be a little
more on your hard earned cash but they less rowdy, national museums and
will take it back in other ways. galleries will remain free to get in. The
The Tory pledge of tax breaks for coalition will also be cutting red tape to
married couples also remains, so if you make it easier to put on live music.
want to save a few pennies, you’d better
get hitched. (Although it will only save

58 fused
Politics

friends
Freedom
Labour’s compulsory ID cards (which
students would have been forced to
what to do. If he says the government
should raise fees, the Lib Dems will
abstain from the vote, so they can still
claim they are committed to scrapping
them. Sort of.
carry before most) have been scrapped.
The coalition will also be taking
measures to protect citizens’ rights to Business
peaceful protest and restrict the use of
CCTV cameras. The new government If you’re more of an entrepreneur
will prevent itself from storing citizens’ than an academic, there’s better news.
internet and e-mail data without ‘good The coalition has pledged to make it
reason’ – whatever that means – and easier to set up a new business, and
they’ll be reviewing libel laws to protect local councils will be able to do more
free speech. to protect small businesses. Small and
medium-sized businesses can also bank
Politics on being awarded at least 25% of all
state contracts, which guarantees that
Since the politicians have realised large corporations won’t always get first
that everyone hates them, they’ve dibs on government work.
promised lots of stuff to make the system
work better. In a nod to this internet Communities
generation, bills debated in Parliament
will be subject to online comments from Alternatively, if you’re all about
citizens. Voters will be able to sack their giving back to society, the government
MP if 10% of citizens think they’re crap, will offer more support to community
while any petition signed by 100,000 organisers, like our mate Casper (p.
people will be debated in Parliament – XX). Sixteen-year-olds will also be able
but bear in mind nearly 450,000 people to sign up to a ‘National Citizen Service’,
on Facebook think Jeremy Clarkson which will help them meet people from
should be Prime Minister. different backgrounds and grow up to be
responsible adults. How nice.
Student debt
Everyone basically realises that
Or…
tuition fees are going to have to go up The coalition will fail to follow up on
– the question is how much by. Some any of these promises, their bills will
university bosses want fees as high as be voted down in Parliament by Labour
£20,000 a year, while others want to be and various disgruntled Tories and Lib
able to charge what they want. Most Dems, and the coalition partners will
likely, fees will go up to about £7,000 spend the next five years fighting with
a year. The coalition will wait until each other.
someone called Lord Browne has written
a report on the subject, before deciding Words: Robert Cooke

But if Fused had it’s way, who would we elect?


Prime Minister: Stephen Fry. Obviously
Deputy Prime Minister: Me. Why not?
Chancellor: The banker off Deal Or No Deal
Home secretary: Kim & Aggie. Keeping Britain tidy
Foreign secretary: Michael Palin. Well-travelled Python.
Education secretary: Rachel Riley off Countdown
Health secretary: Hugh Laurie with a yankee accent
Defence Secretary: Vinnie Jones. Who else?
For more on the General Election go to www.fused.co.uk

fused 59
Alcohol

Stone. Col These students are the same as every other. Except for one maj

T
o you, she would look like a the shots on a night out? And how have and I like that. Without being arrogant
typical student. In fact, she they coped in a society obsessed with I have always felt included and liked,”
goes out more than most. going out on the lash? Moe Eilmi, 21, he says.
She dances on tables. She runs Wee Bit Mean, a dubstep night For Moe, the experience has been
will come home later than you. In at DQ in Sheffield. If you were to take positive. He strongly feels that an
fancy dress. With a takeaway in a quick peek at his Facebook page, alcohol free adolescence led him to find
hand. Yes, she is a typical student. and his thousands of pictures taken the best friends possible - who respect
But she is sober. in nightclubs surrounded by evidently his choices - and that he is better off in
Her name is Ally and she is 21. She drunk people, you would never guess he life.
has never drunk has never touched a “Not drinking is a good thing for
alcohol in her life,
after deciding it
“Not drinking is good drop of alcohol.
But because Moe
health, for self control, and for your
pocket. Live your life and be who you
simply is not for her. for your health, your is a Muslim he has are and the right people will perk
“I’ve just never needed always resisted a up and you’ll end up with the right
it as a drug to boost- pocket and your self drink, as according friends.”
confidence or let go on the Qur’an, But for Sunny Kaur, a first year
a night out. I think control” drinking intoxicants student at the University of Leeds, a
there are better things is forbidden. “I teetotal life has not always been such
to spend your money on, I like to feel think from a young age I saw how a breeze. As a Sikh, she also has never
safe and in control and I never have alcohol made people, and despite not drunk, but only found this to be a
hangovers,” she says. looking down on people I never felt problem when she came to university
Seems reasonable. But to most this compelled to do it, although I’ve been – even deciding to opt out of halls of
would probably seem a little odd. At offered enough times,” he says. residence and commute to university to
university alcohol is almost a daily Moe lives with seven lads who all avoid nights out.
routine - be it a birthday night out, drink very heavily, and has always “On the first day most people on my
a bar crawl or even at your pub quiz, socialised with people who drink, course were meeting up for drinks,
booze is likely to feature high on the finding that people respect him for his which made me scared that if I went
agenda. choice. “Most people reach out to me to the bars with them, would I be
With reports of binge drinking going and offer a different form of themselves pressured into drinking or
as far back as the Vikings, there is no to me. Usually a more looked down upon because
denying that in Britain, we are big serious I had a glass of coke
drinkers - within Europe, only the Irish sort in my hand? I did
consume more than we do. attend the course get
In Northern England, 59% of 18-24 together which was
year olds drink with the sole intention at a bar but I felt
of getting drunk. This is just one uncomfortable and
statistic that highlights how much out of place,” she
we British enjoy a tipple or five. So says.
why do This led Sunny to
some avoid nights where
decide alcohol played
to lay a part, and to
off seek out a
group
of

From left: Moe, Ally,


Sunny and Mike

60 fused
Alcohol

ld. Sober.
major difference. They have never consumed a drop of alcohol.
friends who all shared her beliefs: “It’s
as if we had to make our own isolated
probably hospitalised by it.”
Dr Petra Meier, a psychologist from
Why not join a non drinking
society at your Students’ Union?
group, as ‘the outsiders’ because we The University of Sheffield, thinks
don’t drink. I found it impossible to the pressure on students to drink University of Sheffield: Lemon Fresh
cope any other way,” she says. will never change, as attitudes to non Society
Sunny paints a rather negative drinkers are uniformly negative. The Lemon Fresh Society organise events
picture of the attitudes of students, “If it was more acceptable to not such as scavanger hunts, art attacks and a
questioning the culture drink then
in which we live. Should “I was scared I’d be they’d have
range of other challenges throughout the
year. Tickets can be purchased from the
people who choose not more of a
to drink be condemned
looked down upon choice. But
box office at the Students’ Union. Email:
lemonfresh@sheffield.ac.uk or check out
for that choice and
be forced into joining
because I had a glass in surveys,
young people
their facebook group.
exclusive non-drinking of cola in my hand” who are asked University of Leeds: LOST
friendship groups? what they Leeds Outdoor Socials and Trips go
Mike Peterson, 20, was a heavy think about non-drinkers regularly say ice-skating, go-karting and mountain
drinker throughout the first few years that they think they are quite boring. boarding. They encourage anyone to join
of his degree, but had to stop after a As long as that is the prevailing who wishes to try something new, as long
suspected bout of pancreatitis. attitude, it is really difficult to not as you have a sense of humour and are
Now recovered, he drinks again, drink - who wants to be seen as boring keen for an adventure. Membership is £5,
despite the fact the amount of alcohol and end up socially isolated?” she says. contact LOST president Sarah Griffin on
he consumed probably caused the So, despite this pressure and the jh06sbg@leeds.ac.uk or check out their
disease. threat of social exclusion, how do non Facebook group.
“When I first arrived a university I drinkers manage to stick by their
did feel an immense pressure to drink, morals? For Moe, the secret is to be University of York: Doug Soc
because I wanted to fit in and make confident around people when they are Doug Soc claim they are for people who
friends right away – and that meant drinking. “I’ve had to develop a range like to think, act and exist differently from
getting drunk and playing various of methods for dealing with it. I’ve others. They have picnics, water pistol
drinking games with my new flat become more social, more open, more fights and game show nights. They claim
mates,” he says. “Now I willing to talk to people in awkward that if someone was to ask ‘What does
still feel pressure and situations. Basically I’ve ended DougSoc do?’ they would never receive
currently don’t up with a constant level the same response twice, since doing so
know why I of Dutch courage that I would defeat the purpose of the society.
still drink wouldn’t have had if I Email dougsoc@yusu.org for info.
even hadn’t grown up sober.”
though Ally, who has been waste. For example, at our ball my
I was nicknamed ticket price included a glass of
‘Granny’ by champagne, half a bottle of wine
her friends, and a vodka shot,” she says.
believes being Both of them give the same
proud of your morals advice to anyone who is also
and ideals is enough to considering a sober lifestyle.
get you through. As the Stick to your morals, and the
vice president of a society, rest will come with time. And
she is frequently attending as for what others think?
boozey nights out, but admits she “Positivity and not looking at
simply dwells on the positive what other people are doing
aspects of sipping on cola. is key. Do what you want to
While people play drinking do - that’s what the people who
games, she joins in with drink are doing. People respect
a glass of orange conviction,” says Moe.
juice, and Ally agrees. “Rise above any
comments, have an amazing time, and
let them sort themselves out while
they are being sick at the side of the
road, are locked out because they’ve
lost their keys or can’t afford their
when rent because they’ve blown it all on a
bar bender,” says Ally. “Never worry about
tenders explaining yourself - you don’t have to.
glance Just enjoy yourself and have a whole
at her lot of fun.”
disapprovingly, she just jokes
with them about it. “The only thing Words: Clare McPartland
that annoys me is the money I

fused 61
section

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fused 63
HOUSEMATES
Constant torment, insomnia, exhaustion
discovers how friends can become enemies

I
t’s 2.30 in the morning University has been stuck living with a ‘mother’ figure and just rebel against
and the doorbell has been troublesome flatmates for the last two me. They are like naughty little boys
constantly blaring for the last years. She endures constant torment and it really frustrates me,” she said.
ten minutes. An ear splitting and now suffers from insomnia. “The problem has got so bad now. They
sound that reverberates through Exhausted and miserable she explains leave me out of all house activities and
my whole body as I lie motionless how her flatmates have knocked all the nights out. They will go in my kitchen
in bed, staring at the ceiling. Just fun out of university life. cupboard and eat my food, they owe me
as my eyes finally begin to close “The main problems money which I’m sure
in a rare moment of serenity, my really are the boys,” “They bang a football they won’t pay back.
bedroom door starts to thud and she said. “They are They always target
shake. As my heart leaps out of my the messiest in the on my bedroom me after they have
chest I clench the duvet and glare house. I always been on a night out.
at the door handle. I can hear the used to tidy up all
door when they They bang a football
boys outside my room sniggering their mess for them know I’m in bed and on my bedroom door
and whispering. Who the hell do but when I decided when they know I’m
they think they are? Why do they enough was enough need to be up early” in bed and need to
continue to make my life a living and they should be up early in the
nightmare? Brimming with rage but clean their own mess themselves, their morning. They will also play music full
drained of energy, I close my eyes behaviour towards me just got worse blast. I just can’t wait to finish university
tighter as a wet droplet falls from and worse.” and move out of that house.”
my face. University, supposedly the Helen has confronted her housemates Housemate trouble is one of the most
best years of my life. about how she feels but it only seems to common problems for students, causing
Helen Wardley from Sheffield fuel their behaviour. “They see me as many to drop out.
Thousands of first year
undergraduates across the
country are grouped together
and expected to bond. Those
that struggle to find good friends
can spend the rest of their
degree in a social wasteland.
Completing three years of study
away from family and close
friends can seriously hinder
student’s academic performance
and consequently their future
prospects.
Rebecca Stafford works for
Leeds University Student
Accommodation Department
and says that students are
never grouped ‘without careful
consideration’. “In terms of
placing first years, we always look
to put likeminded individuals
together, based
upon their

64 fused
S FROM HELL
on and misery - Fused
es after living under one roof
applications. Unfortunately, not every Lexi did seek advice but because she
student finds a sound bunch of friends.” was locked in a contract she could not
Friendships can often be forged move. But should it have been easier for
through necessity in the first few her to escape?
months of study, meaning in later years, “Well you can’t argue with a contract
relationships begin to strain and tear, I suppose, and no matter how much
leaving many in extremely difficult guidance you get from your tutors,
living situations. they’re hardly going to move in with
Elizabeth Lydon is the student advice you.” She smiles, “in the end I knew it
centre manager at Sheffield University. was down to me to just get on with it.
She says: “Looking at the stats for the But I think there’ll be plenty
past few years, we deal with on average of other girls
1200 housing problems and queries each out there
year. We do have a network of support that aren’t
available for those that are struggling; as tough or
the main issues we face are dealing with don’t have a
tenancy contracts”. boyfriend to
Lexi Homayoonpoor is another turn to.
student who has suffered with flatmates “They were
at university. She ended up moving just all so
back home to Leeds and now commutes messy, lazy
to and from lectures and meetings. and rude. A few weeks ago I bought a graft and academic accomplishment in
“We all began as good friends,until big expensive picture to go up in the the world cannot replace good friends
I met my boyfriend who is at Lincoln living room and I overheard them one and a comfortable living situation.
Univeristy and everything started to go night planning on drawing all over it. Helen and Lexi consider themselves
downhill,” she said. “At first they were Then I found a picture of me ripped up unlucky, but know that in hindsight,
all really excited about me meeting a in the bin that was once on the kitchen they could have done things differently.
guy but as I started to split my time wall along with pictures of them. They They’ve helped come up with a list below
between Sheffield and Lincoln they got never gave me my post and actually of top tips for an easy ride at uni.
really bitchy and hid it a few times.
started to push me
out of the group.
“They’ve even started I also overheard
them bitching about
WORDS: KIMBERLEY ALLISON

I’ve seen it happen hiding my cutlery, me plenty of times Worried about moving to uni? Get more
with others as well, when they thought housing tips and chat to other students
someone always so having resorted I wasn’t in. They’ve at www.fused.co.uk
seems to have some even started hiding
problem with where to cooking dinner at my cutlery, so having
they’re living or who resorted to cooking
they’re living with.
midnight, I find myself dinner at midnight, I
“I started to feel not even able to eat find myself not even
really lonely because able to eat the bloody TIPS:
the more I saw my the bloody thing” thing.” Only move in with people you’re
sure you’ll get along with. If
boyfriend, the more I Lexi was
was pushed away. Then I was left with unfortunate to end up living in such unsure, just stay in halls!
no choice, I had to keep going to Lincoln an awful environment, but lucky that Don’t clean up after people, they’ll
because there was nothing left for me in her family home was in reasonable
walk all over you.
As soon as you sense a problem
Sheffield. driving distance, a comfort many bullied brewing, deal with it straight
“On a night out one of the girls came students do not have. away.
up to me and started shouting, saying “This year I moved back to Leeds to Always try to talk to your
that I shouldn’t put a guy before my commute because no one should be housemates about how you feel.
friends. She told me they were really made to feel like that. Even if you’re not Don’t be shy to seek help from
annoyed that I never made the effort friends with people they shouldn’t be tutors and specialist people at the
to spend time with them. Even though nasty to you and talk about you behind university.
I could see where she was coming from your back all the time.” Contracts are tough to handle
they didn’t make me feel welcome when Thousands of A-Level students
not unbreakable. Speak to youbut r
landlord asap.
I did spend time with them so why toil away each summer hoping to Confide in your friends and
should I make the effort? earn the grades to attend their first family outside uni, they’re there
“Arguments like that happened a few choice universities. As the successful to help and support you.
times and I started locking myself in my candidates open their envelopes
room and pretending I wasn’t in, only and hug friends with joy and relief,
going to the communal kitchen when I the vast majority will remain
knew they were out, which often meant totally unaware of the potential
eating dinner at about midnight.” nightmare that lies ahead. All the

fused 65
Otley run

Moustaches, Cider
From historical market towns to the student strewn stre
The
W
hether you see it as the the locals who are often out celebrating

Route race that separates the


men from the boys or a
day full of binge drinking
birthdays or promotions. One group that
we chat to in our second pub are celebrating
their friend Josh recently becoming a
and debauchery there is no denying father. We congratulate him by buying him
the Otley Run’s popularity in West a pint.
Yorkshire. I started at midday with a group of
I’ve come to find out if I’m worthy of such friends from school at Woodies. We plan to
a challenge, and as an Otley Run virgin I’m stop off at every pub, bar and fancy dress
feeling apprehensive about the day ahead shop along the A660 into the centre of
and what state I will be in by the end. Leeds.
It’s the largest bar crawl in Leeds, so it They’ve all enjoyed this day of drunken
should only to be attempted by those with frolicking before and reminisce about the
a strong liver and stronger legs for the time when our friend Marc jumped into
walk between pubs. the fountains in the town centre and then
“The bar crawl originally took place moaned about being cold all the way home.
about ten miles outside of Leeds in the The rules of the run are simple; in
historical market town of Otley. Market each pub you have a set amount of time
towns were popular places to drink then to drink a pint, or a half pint for women.
because the pubs would stay open all day,” Some groups will do an alcohol free route
said local historian Nicolas Child. in fancy dress costumes, with collection
There are now less than 20 real ale bins for charities. We give a lady dressed
pubs in Otley and the original route has as a pink fairy some money towards her
lost its popularity. But the bar crawl collection for Breast Cancer awareness.
lives on, following the Otley Road into By two o’clock in the afternoon we are
Leeds starting at Woodies Ale House in in the fourth pub of the day wearing our
Headingley. newly purchased moustaches. A group of
The new route was men in army gear and
started by Leeds “By 2pm we’re at the war paint close in on
Metropolitan University the bar and we battle
students over ten years fouth pub of the day to get served first. It’s
ago and passed on by a close fight but we
word of mouth and wearing moustaches” leave victorious, jars
rumour until it became in hand.
a time honoured tradition when studying As a hardened ‘northern lass’ I’d
in Leeds. Every Saturday of the year you attempted a pint in each but swap to
will see groups of students in fancy dress halves by the time we reach The Headingly
falling in and out of pubs as they make Taps. This is a marathon not a sprint and
their way along the route. we have a long way to go.
Alan Ware, the landlord of Woodies, has I realise how drunk I am when I jump in
seen it all in his 7 years at the pub. every puddle along the way
“I’ve seen them doing three-legged races to the next pub, giggling
and trying to walk in flippers. Quite often like a child. When we
one person will turn up in fancy arrive, I spend
dress to find their friends have the next 30
tricked them and all come in minutes
normal clothes. drying my
“We’ve even had to turn shoes under
one or two groups away the hand
because their outfits were dryer in the
distasteful. One group was toilet.
dressed as characters from Once dry, I
the film Team America chat
but they looked like
suicide bombers and
it was near the
anniversary of
9/11 so I had to
tell them to go
home and change
because they
were offending
customers.”
The bar
crawl is also
enjoyed by

66 fused
otley run

r and Damp Shoes


streets of Leeds, the Otley Run is the quickest route to bleary eyed delerium
to the barman in the Hyde Park Pub about of us are still eager for more and
the Otley Run and what it’s like being on go onto the Nation of Shopkeepers
the other side of the bar. nightclub. In the cobbled courtyard Other
“We don’t mind the Otley run crowd; we
all go on the run ourselves from time to
we enjoy a cider while laughing
under the fairy lights about the day
Yorkshire
time. It’s the ones doing pub golf in the so far.
golf outfits that get on our nerves; they act
like idiots and go a bit too far because their
I’d recommend this night to
anyone who likes electro and techno The Inn Way Pub
drinking more than the other ‘runners’.
Instead of a pint in each pub they will mix
music but beware of the clique of
regulars who are there to out-cool the The walk is 76 Crawls
miles long and
their drinks, having a different drink in rest. divided into stages
each pub and keeping a score card,” he We end the night walking home over 6 days, with The Claret Run
said. through Hyde Park, after a slight 26 traditional
We decide it would be wise to to reline detour when Marc decided that he Dales Inns.It starts The Claret Run
our stomachs and stop in The Skyrack wanted to jump in the fountain in the and finishes at is a pub crawl in
in the centre of Headingley for some city centre again. Grassington, in York that follows
reasonably priced bangers and mash We’ve lost our moustaches but we Upper Wharfedale. the route of the
before continuing on our way. The pubs have a pirate hat that we found in the There is a wooden number 10 or ‘Claret
are well prepared in street and some new hand-painted ‘Inn Line’ bus. It begins
Headingley’s centre “The local Christian friends. We stop for a
Way Pub Sign’
outside each of
in the village of
Upper Poppleton,
and have burly short break to follow
bouncers guarding group is out to greet the progress of a
the 26 inns along
the way.
heads through the
centre of York and
the doors. hedgehog out for an
They tell me that us, giving us free hugs” evening stroll.
on to the villages
of Dunnington
they’re not just This is the kind of and Gate Helmsley
there for violence or potential trouble but night that Leeds can be relied on for before finishing in
to make sure that everyone is over 18 and where something wonderfully random Stamford Bridge.
that people aren’t going into the pubs who will happen to you. What’s more you can
shouldn’t be. make friends anywhere, so don’t worry if
The local Christian group is also out to you lose yours. In Leeds, any Tom, Dick or politically
greet us, giving us free hugs as we pass Harriet will soon become a mate to split the incorrect fancy
and asking us to come back to God. taxi fare with. address if you
In The Library our moustaches are The next morning we all nurse our don’t want to be
upstaged by a woman dressed as a cup hangovers and recount the night before. turned away at
of tea. She sported a milk bottle for a Although I wouldn’t recommend the Otley the first pubs door.
handbag, spoons for earrings and a teacup run as a regular activity, for the sake of
and saucer angled on her head. People livers across Yorkshire, I would say it words: Imogen Child
will go all out on their costumes and there should be attempted by any northerner
is a diverse range of themes. wanting to prove their mettle.
We head to the Packhorse for a few Just stick to half pints g
clumsy games of pool and my friend and avoid ley havin
t a ll a r ound Ot al ale
Sophie wonders aloud ‘how many people n e
“We we in each of the r e
y the tim
in the room have had sex on a icolas a lf p int u n k b
orian Ndoing
a h e a ll y d r a n d I
pool table?’ We leave as a s t as r pub
a l H i pubs. I w the Bay Horse
middle aged man offers to Loc emembers 20 e d do o r a n d
make her the first. Child r ginal route over we reach ut of the front
r e do s hort cut
We end the route at
i
the or go: s t a g g e
e e t t a k in g a
e str
the Dry Dock, a ship- years a down th lley way. of the
al in left u p a na
e b ack door t
come-bar randomly f the orig throug h t h pin
situated in the middle o u d o n ’t hear o tley anymore “I went r a half
asked fo ‘Thank God
“Y in O a n d
of one of England’s un much y. Otley next p u b
r man,
Otley R back a long wa to the ba that I don’t ha
ve
most landlocked es et on a and said
but it go e a cattle mark the e more p u b
cities. used to
h a v y and that’s on ing
W ednesda ay. are talk
With its
Tuesda y a n d
n all d to do’. e ‘W hat you f r ont
loud music w o u ld stay ope at midd
ay to
“He said staggered out
m of th e
ed
and comfy pubs o u ld open for the o u I’d w a lk
u b s w
“Most p t three, opening about? Y y minutes ago’.
pouffes, this me a ent rough
h e n s h u ta tley beca r door tw he Bay Horse th
is the final t
g a t 5 pm so O it h o ve back in t o t
Mr C h il d.
official pub evenin o d rink w d o or,” said
pla c e t he pubs ano t h e r
on the Otley popular pubs. A lot of t ewery
le Br
Run route. 30 real a d by ten Tetleys ut
e b
Our group were o w n in 1 28 8
s h e d in Leeds a n y of
has now esta b li
lo n g with m
e r y a
diminished the brew s now closed.
from 12 to ha
the pubs
6, but some

fused 67
section

68 fused
Careers

My life as...a puppet-maker


Fancy a job with a difference? Every month, Fused delves into the
world of the unconventional breadwinner. Meet Sheffield’s professional
puppet-maker...

L
ois Conlan is a puppet maker and artist. After
ditching a job working for photographers and
waving goodbye to the daily grind of London, she
returned to her home town of Sheffield to utilise
the skills learnt from her Fine Art degree. Here she rents
her own studio, her own world where she can get creative.
“Every skill I use is self taught really, which I’m not sure is
a good or bad thing. But mainly this means I need to be pretty
self-motivated, which can be tricky at times. The hours are
unpredictable depending on what work needs doing, but I enjoy
being my own boss, dictating when I work and when I have
holidays.
“I also love that the work is so varied, no week is the same.
A week usually involves a few days in my studio, working on
personal projects, mixed in with meetings with organizations I’m
working for or artists I’m working with. Then usually I do a couple
of workshops a week in an educational environment, usually
working with children on a range of creative projects – so a lot of
traveling is involved. I also do a lot of the preparation for these
workshops in my studio.
“Although it is a practical job, a lot of time also needs to be spent
on emailing and paperwork, meeting people and networking. I’m
constantly checking my emails because people always want a
speedy response. If I don’t return their questions fast enough I
may lose out on a job.
“I also need to keep my eye on the ball regarding freelance work,
and need to constantly keep a look out on websites to see if there
is any work.
“I think it’s really important to be in a career that interests you
so would recommend anyone follow the line of work that they want
to be in. It can be a bit of a struggle sometimes with regards to
money and the amount of time it takes up, but the benefits are
worth it in the long run. Advice for people in my line of work? Just
throw yourself into it and learn as you go along!”

WORDS: CLARE MCPARTLAND

Next month:My life as a tattoo artist

How to make a giant fish puppet...

Step One: Create the


fish bones from wire.

Step Two: Paper mache


the entire bone srruc-
trure and cover in scales
in a variety of colours

Viola! You’re very own


giant fish puppet.
fused 69
You can take the girl out of
A year abroad can be just the ticket to change your life and find yourself

L
ija was walking home in the bumped into one of the teachers from one bedroomed flat. It took me a while to
dark of a Corsican night school out for a walk with her baby. settle in but it was great to not be living
when a man started to follow “I quickly explained what had out of a suitcase like I was in the school
her. “I had been to visit a happened. And at that moment, the man and to finally have a kettle for a cup of
friend in the old part of town,” Lija rounded the corner, saw that I was with tea.”
said. another woman, turned quickly on his She arranged her placement by the
“I pretended to be unable to speak heel and went back down the road he had British Council. “You give them a region,
French and hurried on towards followed me up. the age of the children you want to teach
the school along a badly “I went back to my room scared of what and whether you want to live in a town,
lit remote road. would have happened if he had followed city or village. I put Corsica as my first
“I was starting to me all the way back to my door.” choice because it is so warm and I had
get really scared That was 21-year-old Lija Grinsberg heard how pretty is with the sandy white
when I rounded Kellett’s one bad experience after she beaches and snow-topped mountains.
the corner packed her bags and moved 930 miles So did you pick your degree because of
and from her home in Bradford, West the year abroad?
Yorkshire. “Not specifically. When I applied, I
She moved to Il Rouse in Corsica, the wasn’t thinking about a year abroad. I
French Mediterranean Island famous was just thinking about university and
as the birthplace of Napoleon, to how hard it would be to leave home.
experience the language and culture “I’m so glad that I did it though,
of the country first hand as part of parce que jai appris beacoup de francias
Lija in Corsica her French degree. (because I have learnt a lot of French).
“You have to learn from these “I don’t think that I have got more out
experiences - and I quickly of my degree than people who study in
learnt the French for leave me England but I have definitely got more
alone and how to say go away.” out of my time at university because I
She chose to work as an came abroad.
assistant in the town’s upper “I have done so many things that I
school, Lycee de Balagne, rather wouldn’t have got to do anywhere else.
than studying at the island’s university in I’ve been hunting for sea urchins and I
Carte. saw dolphins while kayaking. It’s worth it
“I was living in one room when I first just for the life experiences.
“J’ai appris arrived which was actually in the school “I’m more self-sufficient and much more
just down the corridor from the kids confident because I have had to go out
beacoup de classrooms. They were walking past my and do things, in French!
room all of the time and I just felt like I “The stalking didn’t put me off living
francias” had no privacy. here. I wouldn’t be the same person if I
“It was when I was pegging out my hadn’t done a year abroad.
knickers in the schoolyard as my students “Corsica is usually a really safe place
walked past that I realised I needed my to live. People just leave their houses
own apartment. unlocked and their bags on the street.
“I moved out of the school and into a Also there are always English teachers
who will understand if you are
struggling with
something and can’t
relate it in French.
You get a lot of
contact with
teachers and
you’re never
really on

70 fused
f Yorkshire...
yEAR ABROAD

Emily Anne Paul, 22 a bonus that I am still using my


French so it’s not going to waste.
your own.” from Worksop, Everyone gets very excited about us
Would she do it again? “Definitely. But I’d
apply to teach in a primary school instead Nottinghamshire. being English here and everyone in
the town knows who we are. A parent
because the students I am teaching can be “I went to Clermont-Ferrand in
difficult.
“I think when you’re teaching in a school
France on my year abroad after
my second year of university as
“A parent came up
you need to be prepared for your lesson plans
to go wrong but you have to have confidence
an Erasmus student and then I
extended the year by teaching in
to me yesterday to
Vichy, France. tell me that her little
“I’ve been hunting for I finished studying French at East
Anglia University last June and girl is in my class and
sea urchins and I saw I’m out in Corsica teaching in Carte
now in a primary school through loves English”
dolphins while kayaking. the British Council. You do have to came up to me yesterday to tell me
It’s worth it just for the life be able to speak French to come here
but you can go to lots of different
that her little girl is in my class
and loves English which was nice.
experiences” places, even China. The second time abroad is a lot
You have to apply to the British easier than the first time in terms of
in what you are teaching. You also need to Council by the first of December being away from home but being an
remember that however close you are to the for the following year but you Erasmus student was easier in some
children in age, you have the authority.” get priority if you’re a final year ways because you have got that
Lija also commends the “Erasmus” student. group of other Erasmus students
university course her friend Emily studied I picked Senegal first but didn’t get with you.
who lives in Carte. it. They gave me Corsica as a second My advice to students would be even
“It would have been nice to study French option. if you’re scared to, even if it’s hard
literature although I have read Harry Potter I like the teaching experience because when you’re doing it, do it. You will
in French while I have been here. I think I want to be a teacher and appreciate that you made yourself do
“Nobody should be put off by things going I have never done anything with a year abroad and you will be proud
wrong or not feeling settled in for the first kids before and they ask you to of yourself that you lived in a
couple of months. have worked in a primary school foreign country on your own.
“You don’t even realise that you’re getting before starting your PGCE. Plus, it’s
used to a place until you come back after the
Christmas holiday and suddenly realise that
you do feel at home.
Lija leaves Corsica at the end of May to What you need to know about Erasmus
return to Glasgow University. She says she
will miss Corsica, but she can’t wait to get There are currently 2,199 higher education of the countries in the EU that’s in the
home and have a decent cup of Yorkshire tea. institutions participating in Erasmus across wider Lifelong Learning Programme.
31 countries. Over 1.6 million students have If you are still at school and are going on to
WORDS: IMOGEN CHILD already taken part. higher education, check that the university
you choose offers the Erasmus programme
What is it? with the course you want to do.
The Erasmus Programme (European
Region Action Scheme for the Mobility What do you do?
of University Students) is a European Students who take part can study, do
Union student exchange programme for a work placement or be a language
higher education students, teachers and assistant for between three months and an
institutions. It is seen as a time for learning academic year. The Erasmus Programme
as well as a chance to socialize and was guarantees that the period spent abroad
introduced to increase student mobility is recognised by their university when they
across Europe. come back.

Who can take part? How is it funded?


Students from all subject areas can It is already funded by your tuition fees.
participate but they must be studying A main part of the programme is that
for a degree at a tertiary level students do not pay extra tuition fees to the
institution and must have university that they visit. Students can also
completed their first apply for an Erasmus grant to help cover
year. They also have the additional expense of living abroad.
to be a citizen
of one Where can you go?
Erasmus students, teachers and staff can
go to any of the countries in the EU as
well as those in the EEA (Iceland,
Liechtenstein and Norway).

fused 71
Leisure

Changing tracks
What can be done with an empty Victorian railway Station? Fused
V
B
R
s

B
D

A
visited North Yorkshire to find out. b
building is a building, example, is currently displaying work really weird,” says Donald.
but a house is not a by County Durham’s Ray Landon. His But weird works in Richmond.
home. And a train abstract, slightly surrealist work turns The Station sets an example to the
station isn’t a train household paper waste into picturesque rest of Yorkshire, scattered as it
station once it’s run out rural landscapes – a neat metaphor for is with architectural landmarks
of steam. Construction, after all, the building that houses it. of ages and industries gone by. It
isn’t just deciding where to stack The Station is also a layer in the shows how a space that on face value
the bricks – it’s about what sits North Yorkshire economy; various local seems redundant can, with a little
inside them. Even if a building’s businesses have set up shop there. imagination, be turned into something
function expires, it keeps its Lacey’s Cheese, Archer’s Jersey Ice unique, exciting and enduringly
functionality, whatever we choose Cream and the Richmond Brewing Co. relevant.
to do with it. all give visitors the chance to see how
So what would you do with an empty their produce is made, and take some WORDS: ROBERT COOKE
Victorian train station? home to enjoy. Two thousand square
You could turn it in to offices, I feet of rentable office space meanwhile,
suppose. Or shops. Or a historical helps to pay the bills. Meet the traders from The Station in
exhibition. But why not put a But it’s The Station’s individuality our online Q&As.
restaurant in there? Perhaps an art that is its key selling point, making Go to www.fused.co.uk
gallery? In fact, it’s a pretty big place it unlike any other arts complex in
– you could get a couple of cinema Yorkshire. “I think it fits into the bigger Images: Top-bottom archer’s Jersey Ice
screens in there. Or you might want to picture because it’s such an unusual cream, Seasons café-bar and Richmond
turn it into a bakery. Or an ice cream environment,” Donald explains. He Brewing Co.
parlour. Or a brewery. Or you could do argues that by avoiding calling itself an
the lot. ‘arts centre’, The Station avoids falling
Which is exactly what happened into the trap of limiting the scope of
in Richmond: the what it can offer its
picturesque Georgian “You can go to the café visitors: “We show
market town, sitting art but we don’t call
snugly on the banks for a latte and two seats ourselves an ‘art
of the River Swale, down there will be two gallery’.
that The Station calls women breastfeeding. “A lot of those
home. things have quite an
“It’s a grade II* It’s really weird” elitist label attached
listed building and to them.” What The
it’s quite a wonderful style of Victorian Station does then, is smash the barrier
gothic architecture,” explains Donald that divides art lovers from cultural
Cline, one of the original trustees who sceptics. You might pop in for a bite to
bought the building from the local eat at the Seasons Café-Bar, and end
council. up going to see a film. Or you might be
The station first opened in 1847, there for a business meeting, and find
helping passengers, goods and the yourself contemplating contemporary
military at nearby Catterick Garrison art.
get from A to B. It served the It’s a formula that works. Donald is
community until it closed in 1969. The pleased to point out. “The Station is far
track was dismantled a year later. and away the most visited attraction in
In the subsequent decades, the the town, partly because it’s free to get
building was hired by local businesses, in,” Donald says, adding that it attracts
but it closed again in 2000, possibly for 30,000 visitors a year.
the final time. The council decided to Economists might call The Station’s
sell it. But The Richmondshire Building strategy ‘social engineering’ – an
Preservation Trust were the visionary approach to business that reaches out
buyers, and they opened The Station in to the broadest, most diverse audience
2007. possible. The Station’s offices draws in
“Quite a lot of people thought that the business community, the cinema
that seemed a very good idea because and gallery pull in the creative arts
we were concerned that quite an crowds, while the restaurant’s range of
amazing architectural landmark would hot drinks, sandwiches and main meals
fall into private hands and access to it attracts anyone with an hour to kill.
would be restricted,” says Donald. The events spaces host a surreal mix
The Trust set about discovering of activities, from support groups for
what Richmond residents wanted The new mums, to county council appeal
Station to become – a cinema and a hearings. “You can go to the café for
restaurant, it turned out. But they a latte and two seats down there will
didn’t stop there, and The Station now be two women breastfeeding, and two
serves as a cultural facility as well as seats away from them there will be
a recreational one. The art gallery for a couple of teenagers in hoodies. It’s

72 fused
Visit The Station
By car: from the A1(M) take Junciton 56 and follow the signs for
Richmond Georgian Market Town. Once in Richmond, follow the
signs for the Swimming Baths.

By public transport: the easiest thing to do is get the train to


Darlington, wander into the town centre and get the X26 or X27
bus to Richmond.

fused 73
FUSED LAUNCH NIGHT

T
o celebrate our first issue we desended upon The
Bowery in Sheffield for our launch night Champagne
shindig.
Check out some the best pics from the night online,
keeping your eyes peeled for a few celebs.
Each month we will be throwing a party to coinside with the
new issue, and on July 1st we want you there! The theme of
the night is Cheese & Wine, and it will be held at Shed Bar in
Leeds.
Register to our forum online at www.fused.co.uk to become a
part of our raffle - we will pick 100 people out at random and
let the lucky winners know by Friday June 25th.
The first 20 people will receive a 2 for 1 drinks voucher for
The Bowery. Good luck, we look forward to seeing you there!

74 fused
FUSED sex lives
Because sometimes we need a helping hand...
Q. I think I am Monsieur
Derriere
addicted to
masturbation and it’s
ruining my relationship.
I have to masturbate at
least five or six times a day,
unless I see my boyfriend, Yorkshires queer eye
but then I need to sleep for the northern guy
with him to make up for it.
I’m also worried I will lose
the feeling in my clitoris, Waking up on a Wednesday
morning with that “Wednesday
as I’ve heard using sex toys feeling” means only one thing, its
too much can do this. School uniform night at Sheffield’s
The problem started when I first had sex when I was 14. Since then I Corporation nightclub. After
can’t go a day without having an orgasm. I have bought over twenty sex an eight hour day in Uni it is an
toys and have slept with a lot of guys. automatic response to put on the
I have been with my boyfriend for six months now, and although he shirt and school tie and head into
pretends he does not mind, I worry that it will eventually take its toll. town. However, this Wednesday
I need to have sex with him at least three times a day otherwise I feel was different.
the need to masturbate. I really want to calm down so I don’t ruin this I had just split up with my boyfriend
of two months and I was severely on
relationship, but I’m not sure how to. I really don’t want to drive him the rebound. The magnetic pull towards
away. the club was more than just a standard

The Panel drunken night, but one that would


hopefully end up being a night of
debauchery ending up with a beautiful
rebound man in my bed.
This is always easier said than done.
Looking around the dank, dark club full
of University students dressed in school
uniform proved harder to find the one-
night-stand-man-of-my-dreams than I
thought it would be. Oh well, there’s
Ali, the reader Phil, the doctor Jayne, life coach always plenty more fish in the sea, just
not this sweat filled one.
Whilst dancing to Her Royal Highness

A. Ali: Wow, I
wouldn’t be able to
handle you! Good
suggest that first we work
out if it’s an addiction.
If you visit Sexaholics
should look at other areas
of your life - perhaps your
career, family life, or
Lady Gaga, I noticed a tall dark
handsome man across the room who
I was sure was giving me the eye. As I
dragged my friends to dance closer to
on your boyfriend, he Anonymous’ website, friends - and work out if
him I saw that he was Italian. At that
deserves a medal. Maybe there are a list of twenty that could be causing you moment I creamed myself.
you should think yourself questions for you to to resort to masturbation A quick drunken haze turned from
lucky and stop whinging; answer, to help indicate to seek a high. Sex him pinching my arse, to me grinding
some people can’t have how bad your addiction is. addition is no different against him, to him sticking his Italian
any orgasms. You could If you feel you answer yes to drug addiction or tongue down my throat. We exchanged
even give advice to girls to a lot of the questions, it shopping addiction; it is numbers and I was in heaven until
who struggle to orgasm. may be worth contacting a compulsive behaviour he ran away towards the bar with his
them further to gain more usually designed to gain friends. Hmph.
Or maybe get therapy. As with most Wednesdays,
help and advice. If you a high to escape a low
Corporation turned into an afterparty at
Phil: Let’s first get this do not feel you are that elsewhere. I suggest you Cellar 35 and with my Italian Stallion still
worry about a lack of serious, then visit your visit a counsellor to try texting me I didn’t think it would do any
sensation caused from GP. They may refer you and source the root of the harm to invite him along.
sex toys out of your mind for some counselling, or problem. One thing led to another and we
– this will never happen. be able to suggest some As for your boyfriend, ended up back at mine and to say
No study has ever shown self help groups in your the best thing you can he took me for a ride is the biggest
that frequent stimulation local area. do for now is let him understatement. Several hours and tube
know what’s happening. of lube later we were literally knackered
of the clitoris, from a but we just lay there arm in arm
vibrator or otherwise, Jayne: The frequency I presume it is already
watching the sun rise. It was bliss.
will harm it in any way. of your masturbation obvious to him how Later he told me that he lived in
It sounds like you have suggests you have much you demand sex, Cambridge and was only visiting friends
an unusually high sex problems elsewhere in but explain that you see in Sheffield, but invited me down to
drive, but this is nothing your life, so I wonder it is a problem and that stay with him whenever I wanted. The
to worry about, it’ll be what those are. A clinic you would like to make looming dilemma of choosing sex on
just as common for people in London has worked some changes. It may be demand, or getting hurt through a
to have an extremely low out that around 60% of useful if he also comes long distant relationship is one I need to
the population use sexual to counselling sessions. ponder, but then again, there is always
sex drive. What you need next Wednesday’s Corporation…
to do is be able to control behaviour to relieve If he’s worth it he will
it, and stop it influencing negative feelings, such stick with you through it Next issue, Monsieur Derriere
your relationships. I as anxiety, stress or all, just keep him in the has a threesome dilemma.
loneliness. Maybe you know. Good luck.
section

80 fused
Horoscopes
Fused Style

There is going to be an emergency


budget this month and surprise, surprise
there is more bad stuff in the news.
Luckily here is your star sign to guide you Gemini
during these confusing times. Happy Birthday, you month will be lovely
and you will get presents and money
because some planet is in your sign and
there is something going on with an
orbiting moon.
Cancer
Jupiter took its time leaving your sign last
month, making you lazy towards the end,
go for a run fat boy.
Leo
Venus is in Uranus this month making
you feel frisky, do it like they do on the
discovery channel.

Virgo
You may be in danger of over-reaching
yourself this month, for your own safety
stay in bed.
Libra
With Mars still moving through your
sign this month you are feeling more
generous. The country’s Treasury is
looking pretty empty at the moment,
Sagittarius make a donation to Cameron’s back
For several reasons last month may not pocket.
have come off as you’d hoped. Good
news is this month you will meet your
ideal partner, win the lottery and land
your dream job. That’s nice isn’t it.
Capricorn
Saturn is in Capricorn this month making
you forgetful so you may lose your car
keys.
Aquarius
You might have reason to be grateful to a
Cancerian this month… No, wait - not that
grateful… Pull your trousers back up.
Pisces
Seeking advice about tax, pension, life-
insurance or even will-making may
seem important to you this month, if this
happens go to the pub and drink until the
Aries urge passes.
Uranus enters your sign for the first time
since its last Aries ingress in 1927, good
excuse for a party we reckon.

fused 81
82 fused
Next Issue in FUSED

EXCLUSIVE: VINTAGE FASHION


THE CRIBS EXPOSED
INTERVIEW The truth behind
The lads talk to Yorkshire’s growing
FUSED about fame, clothing trend
festivals and family
CLARE TRIES
“I’m terrified of the Nipple tassles,
Leeds fest crowd” stockings and
feathers: burlesque
PLUS: dancing stripped
The latest in Yorkshire’s
fashion, food and politics

Out July 1st

fused 83

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