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Arranged marriages have been a topic of interest for

centuries. Authors across the ages have explored this theme
at length, and it still surfaces in literary works today. What's
the appeal? Is it the fascination with the lack of lust and
desire we cultivate in North American society? We strive on
the element of danger, of the forbidden, while an arranged
marriage is usually a safe way to ensure a family's approval
of a union.

But what about real life, where things don't always work out
so well? Arranged marriages occur in a number of countries,
such as Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Japan and India. They're
more common than you'd think even in North America,
where cultural diversity is cherished and encouraged.
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But what about real life, where things don't always work out
so well? Arranged marriages are commonplace in a number
of countries, such as Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Japan and
India. They're more common than you'd think even in North
America, where cultural diversity is cherished and
encouraged.



    
Arranging marriages is an insult to the very nature of
marriage, which should be about creating a loving and
lasting partnership and family. It reduces a central part of
what is fundamentally a religious ceremony (and every
religion, including Islam, guarantees choice) to a
commercial transaction and therefore undermines family
values. This is even more an issue where people come into a
country where marriage is seen as a central value that
should be free, where it is a specific challenge to any moral
code.

To allow arranged marriages leads to unacceptable pressure
on those involved. They are often reliant on the parents who
wish them to take part in arranged marriages for their futures
as well as their current welfare. Moreover, the line between
what constitutes an arranged and what constitutes a forced
marriage is so hazy it can·t be seen, as is the line between
legitimate and illegitimate influence. The law can help
children who are often seeking bargaining chips to help
them evade the pressure to marry from their family and
community.

The practice of arranged marriage separates communities,

helping to stop integration and encourage distrust between
communities. This applies largely where it occurs among
immigrant populations and helps to maintain a language
barrier and an associated cultural ghettoization. This doesn·t
just create a group of people who can feel trapped
between two cultures and unsure of whether they have a
place in their host society, and a poverty trap associated
with the language barrier that creates further segregation. It
also helps to foster distrust in the wider community by holding
to such a radically alien value, particularly where it is
opposed to our notion of equal rights.

Arranged marriage is bad both for the individual women

concerned and for women generally in society. In the former
case this is because they are very vulnerable. Often they are
from far away from home, don·t speak the local language or
dialect and are totally reliant on the husband·s house and
family. The lack of a support network, the language to
appeal for help or knowledge of their rights makes women in
arranged marriages disproportionately likely to suffer abuse.
In the latter case, arrangement commodities women who
are bartered between the male heads of houses. This is not
acceptable within an egalitarian model of citizenship and
does not fit with a western model of rights

 

    
Arranged marriages do involve choice. The difference is
merely that whole families are involved together in both
considering the best options and in helping to achieve what
is wanted. This is particularly fitting in a social system which
places high value on the way in which the extended family
work together, and ensures that there is family support and
shared expectations which contribute to the longevity of the
marriage. Many of what we would call arranged marriages
are actually either parents just introducing their children to
potential partners, or effecting the negotiations necessary for
marriage after their children have already chosen a partner.
Most importantly, it is totally illogical for the government to
intervene to stop people having the marriages that they and
their family have chosen in the name of freedom of choice.
This is exactly why the distinction between arranged and
forced marriages is so important in providing protection for
those who really need it without authoritarianism creeping in.

Arranged marriages in Europe and North America have

idiosyncratically low levels of abuse and marital violence.
The institution of marriage always creates interdependence
and therefore scope for abuse and danger and the police
and outsiders always find it more difficult to intervene where
violence is within a marriage. This is a criticism of marriage
per se, and not arrangement, and we can·t ban marriage.
The vulnerability of those without language skills is an
accepted fact of immigration policy, again it applies to all
immigration and not to arranged marriages. Finally, most
marriage organizers are actually women, as in the ¶Auntie·
system in India. They gain prestige and authority through their
role. This doesn·t seem to oppress women. What you are
really saying is that Islamic societies are patriarchal and that
Muslims have arranged marriages. The latter does not in any
sense cause the former. They are discrete social facts.

It is not just groups practicing arranged marriage who

maintain cohesive communities. Afro-Caribbean and Jewish
people in Western Europe both maintain a distinct cultural
life while taking part fully in the life of this country. In fact their
cultural contributions are one of the most valuable additions
to the societies in which they live. The basis of multiculturalism
is to understand the social and even economic value that
can accrue from having people with different perspectives
and traditions living together. Furthermore, in the second
and third generations of immigrant families from the
subcontinent we can already see barriers breaking down so
that there is greater understanding and cross-fertilization of
the ideas these immigrant communities have broughtr

Can love grow out of an arranged marriage? Absolutely,

and in the same way that love can grow in romance novels
from a marriage of convenience. But there's more to love
than finding a suitable match. Love can grow for many
reasons, from lust at first sight to friendship that develops over
a long period of time. It's impossible to predict whether a
union will be successful. The only two people who can make
it work are the bride and groom, the hero and heroine of
their own story.

To conclude, I will say that I am FOR arranged marriages to

take place, not only do they help you find your life partner
easier, but they also bring him/her with all the qualities that
you want, that you asked for. But what many people get
confused with, is they think that arranged marriages is the
same as forced marriages, well let me tell you, IT IS NOT!!!
When you have the proposal of an arranged marriage you
are given the choice, whether you want to marry him/her or
not. There are NO obligations. Either you marry him/her or
not. The choice is yours!

Over to you.